The Ramsey Show - App - My Mother-in-Law Stole Our Money! (Hour 2)

Episode Date: December 24, 2020

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Hey guys, this is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. Dave and the team are out spending time with their families for Christmas, but we'll be live again soon. In the meantime, we've put together some of the best clips from the show for you to enjoy. You are listening to the best of The Dave Ramsey Show. Merry Christmas. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's The Dave Ramsey Show. Merry Christmas. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is don, cash is king,

and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Anthony O'Neill, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, is my co-host today here on the air. I open phones for you to talk. The phone number is 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Dwayne's in Kansas City to start off this hour. Hi, Dwayne.

Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. How are you today? Great. I know you're going to say better than you deserve. You're right. How can we help? I am a truck driver.

I own my own truck. I've owned it for about a year now, and I'm trying to follow your principles. On my personal side, I have all my debt paid off, including my house, and we have our three-month emergency fund on my business side i still owe on my truck so i'm not sure i'm following perfectly like you say i i said i owe on my truck and i have a maintenance fund that i i only let it get up so far and when it gets over that balance i take the money and I pay extra on my truck. I just want to make sure I'm doing it right. I do pay 15% into retirement.

I'm 56. I'll be 57 this year. What do you owe on the truck? I owe 27. And what's your income, profit per year that you pay taxes on? About $100,000 a fourth, my wife and I. Okay, so when will you pay the truck off? This year? I will have the truck paid off probably

by, if I just could stick with my payment, it'd be paid off the end of next year. But I think I'll have it paid off sooner than that. Yeah, you should. So, I... It's the only debt in the world you've got you make $120,000 a year. It's only $27,000.

Yes. Yeah, let's lean on it and get it paid off. So it doesn't matter to me, but let me help you with this. You don't have business debt because you personally signed for this truck. Right. It's only in your mind that it's business debt. The bank has a truck loan with old Dwayne from Kansas City. Okay.

I just wanted to check to make sure, because I thought you might say it was personal loan since I personally signed for it. It is. But I do put 15% of our income into retirement. And I didn't know if you would want me to stop that or if I could just keep doing it. Yeah, I would temporarily stop that, and I would completely lean on this like it was a credit card and just knock it out. It's $ would temporarily stop that, and I would completely lean on this like it was a credit card and just knock it out.

It's $27,000. You make $120,000. Get her done, baby. Yeah. And then, Jack, then you're into baby steps four, five, and six instantaneously. And, you know, if you got $50,000 in your emergency fund, by the way, pay the truck off today. Come on, man. That's it.

By the way, I don't know what's in your emergency fund. I was just about to say that, Dave, but you beat me to it beat me to it oh that's why this is called the dave ramsey show yeah but the thing is yeah it's a really good question because it reminds people that you know 99 of the small business loans out there are personally signed for yes sir and so they're personal loans that you used for business so then flip it over to that one percent day if it is up underneath the business from your perspective uh which i already know this answer but do you still attack it and pay that debt off as well yeah i would use it but i put it in baby step six okay but you know unless the business is making 10 15 million dollars a year, they're not, you know, banks aren't

letting that business sign without the guy or the gal putting a personal guarantee on it. Okay. So it's got to be a large, small business. Got you. That sounded weird, but a large, small business, too, in order to have no personal guarantees on it and even leasing a building, that kind of stuff. All right. Tim is with us.

Tim's in Baltimore, Maryland. Hi, Tim. How are you? Good, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. And thank you, Anthony, for taking my call also. I've been one of your coaches for a long time. I'm a listener, so I'm happy to be talking to you guys today.

You too. How can we help? So my aunt died this past January, and she died without a will. She didn't have any kids, and she was not married. In the state that it's in, her estate gets split evenly to her kin. So I have two living uncles, and my dad is deceased. So my brother and I legally will split his part of the estate. Now, my two living uncles that are executors by default, I legally will split his part of the estate.

Now, my two living uncles that are executors by default, they're trying to do what they think that she would have liked and split it even amongst the cousins. So I've got 15 cousins on that side of the family. They don't have that option. They don't get to make up the law. She died without a will. The law says what happens to the money. And the law

in most states says that you and your siblings get one-third of the estate. Okay. What's the estate worth? I don't know, but if I had a guess, it be between three and five million how much million between that three and five million i mean she she was in the you're breaking up like crazy and squeaking did you say three to to $5 million? Probably, yes. You need an attorney. Okay.

Today. And not to pick a fight with your uncles, but then you need to sit down very calmly and gently with your uncles and say, listen, I've gotten legal advice, and one-third of this needs to go through probate. The judge has to decide this, and the judge is going to say, unless I miss my guess in Maryland, that the three portions, that your dad's portion and his two brothers' portions are going to be split out, and they don't get to just decide. Well, Granny won it otherwise. Well, Granny should have had a freaking will if Granny won something else, because Granny don't get to say anymore because she died without a will.

Wow. And the state law now decides. And you can't go, well, she only said, well, that's tough. That holds absolutely zero water in these situations. And there's enough money involved here that it's about to get weird fast. Very. $3 million. Yeah.

It's a million dollars versus that you and your brother get versus a couple hundred grand that you and your brother get. This is, I'm not picking a fight, but it's just, it's morally wrong, number one, that your uncles just go, well, we just get to decide. Yeah. And where the crap did you get to decide? Who died and left you in charge? Oh, wait a minute. Nobody.

Hello. That's it, you know. So, because there's no freaking will yeah oh that's so bad see what the you guys all see the problem out there right now is now there's a fight on the horizon because somebody didn't do their job and your job people is to get your will yeah now dave i i just learned something i didn't know i thought the money would have went to only the two brothers but because they are the sons of one of her brothers they automatically get their father's portion yeah the father died okay and so his his one third

will go to his heirs ah and so i mean most states okay uh you know you're gonna have to get legal advice but the bottom line is is this needs come before a judge, and the judge decides based on state law because there's not a will how the money will be distributed. The uncles don't get to decide, and Tim doesn't get to decide. But most of the time there's very clear law, and it's pretty much a slam dunk. But the fight will be as if we want to argue about this and come up with some scratch paper somewhere and try to call that a will. Or, you know, all this verbal testimony or other BS. I'm sorry, Tim, but you need a lawyer today.

This is the Dave Ramsey Show. you've worked hard to make your business successful. Blood, sweat, tears, and prayers. Because as a business owner, you are the secret sauce. And your company is only as strong as you are. So what happens if a key ingredient is missing? And what if that ingredient is your health, resulting in expensive medical bills? Christian Healthcare Ministries, or CHM, presents Health Cost Sharing. It's different from insurance in that Christians help other Christians to meet their medical expenses. Various programs are available depending on your needs and budget.

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that this year has shown what it's really important to you. You can take the losses, turn them into learnings. You can get back in the game. You can adjust, but you can only adjust if you had something to adjust to, and that's the original goals that you wrote down. Christy Wright, our number one best-selling author, just launched her brand new 2021. Won't we be glad when that starts? 2021 Goal Planner. new 2021 won't we be glad when that starts 2021 goal planner having this planner is like having

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the brand-new Christy Wright 2021 Gold Planner. It's available in our online store right now at daveramsey.com our question of the day john comes from blinds.com find out for yourself why blinds.com is the number one online retailer of custom window coverings you get free samples free shipping and with the new promos they run every month you save even more always use the magic word the promo code ramsey question is The question is... The question is... I just started reading this, Dave, and it's blowing my mind.

This is an excellent one. Blinds.com is going to get their money's worth on this one. Today's question comes from Tiffany in North Kentucky. She visits DaveRamsey.com to ask, My fiance's mother controls his finances. He was married for 10 years and his wife spent a lot of his money and his mother stepped in after the divorce and controls his finances. He was married for 10 years, and his wife spent a lot of his money,

and his mother stepped in after the divorce and pays his bills. He's 37. Oh, crap. Right? That's what I'm saying. We are getting married in three months, and I've been trying to take over finances, but his mother will not allow it, and he won't stand up to his mom. The only thing we argue about is the finances.

I said we should open up a checking account but he doesn't want to close his current checking account that he shares with his mommy he wants me to come to his bank which i don't want to as i don't want his mother and my finances as well is there a way to compromise on this yes he has to divorce his mother before he can marry you it's polygamy otherwise i don't want to hurt tiffany's feelings but too late run run chariots of fire i'm trying to think like dude run there's tiffany if this was your daughter asking you this question, you would tell her, do not marry a mama's boy. A 37-year-old

mama's boy. This is going to be a long life. His mother is a trip. And he invites her in his suitcase. God almighty. Bye, Felicia his suitcase. God almighty. Bye, Felicia, Tiffany.

Walk away. Walk away. I don't even know what to say to this. I don't know what to say to this. Bye, Felicia. Oh, no. That's a throwback. Dude, I just...

What is this, Throwback Thursday? No, this is... I want to hug Tiffany in North Kentucky for what this is. I mean, it's so easy to poke fun at because it's just so sad and ridiculous, but the truth is that, Tiffany, you've gone, you spent way too much time and invested

too much already trying to get a guy to be a grown man that's not apparently willing to. Yeah, and the deal is his mom probably loves him and saw that he wrecked the plane the last time, and she didn't want him to take off again. For good or for worse, it's not helpful, but it is what it is.

You happen to be female, and the last one was too, and that's bothering his mother. Somebody got between her and her baby once, and it won't happen again. You have a line here that says, I don't want his mom and my finances to clear his day. This is what you're signing up for. So if you go through with this in three months, then you are inviting mom into your finances. This is your fault. Yeah.

If you go through with this. Yeah. So he's not your fiance anymore. And when he moves out of his mother's house and takes control of his own life and becomes a man again. If this was a woman, I would say exactly the same thing. An adult.

Becomes an adult. There we go. Okay. I mean, if this was the dad controlling the 37-year-old daughter's finances, it's the exact same thing. Exactly. So when you, this is toxic and weird. And moms, dads. Don't do that.

Let your 30-year-olds fly, baby bird, fly. No, no, don't let them fly. Kick them out. Shove them out. Yes. 37. Failure to launch. If you look around your home and your child doesn't have special needs, that's a whole different thing.

And you have the account number to your 37-year-old kid. You need to go to church. You need to go do something, man. Go find a therapist. Call your friend and say, Hey, buddy, do you have the checking account number to your 37-year-old kid? Can you imagine what Winston Cruz would say if I asked to have the account number,

access to their checking accounts for Rachel and Winston? Can you see Winston's face, the look right now? I can see the look. Yes. The storm cloud that would come across his eyes. He would answer you over his shoulder as he gathered his children and headed to the car. And he, too, would say, bye, Felicia. I'm out, Dave.

Yeah. I just. Chop out. I just. I don't understand it and again this is heartbreaking tiffany and i know you've driven this thing right up to the edge of the cliff before you you're about to hit the gas and drive off the edge but stop you know bridge out bridge out bridge out man bye felicia bye bye bye bye bye bye bye, bye. Sometimes these blinds.com questions, man, these are fantastic. Yeah. Well, they are.

And, you know, I think the best part of that whole discussion is what you said, and that's to moms and dads. Stop. Don't do this. Stop. Make your kids grow up. You are not helping. No.

You're not helping. Okay, I understand he screwed up in his former divorce, and I understand she stepped in to help him get, but she shouldn't have even at that point been on the account. She should have just guided him and said, I know you're wounded right now, I'll walk with you, and I'll coach you, just like I would do for you. That's right.

My friend. Yeah. But I don't need to be on your account. Right. In order to help you recover from your misspending wife that you got divorced from. I can walk beside you as your friend and do that as two adults instead of me taking over your finances as if you are completely inept. And the moment my son comes to me and says,

hey, I have found the next person and we're getting engaged, you start that transfer. That should have never been in the first place. Right. You start immediately. Your hands are off. Yeah, but instead, no, she doesn't. He doesn't.

He, no. Man, my mom couldn't wait to transfer responsibility to my wife. Like, this is your problem now, honey. Here's the biscuit recipe. Here's his birth certificate and his Social Security card. Get out of here. Man, it was, hey uh i'm sorry sheila this is your problem now this one's on you good luck with this one i'll be cheering for you

that's right see you at christmas see you at Christmas. Yeah. And guys, if you're not going to have a backbone... Don't get married. Don't get married. Don't bring somebody else into your dysfunction. Yeah. There's just so much here. There's so many people here that need to be addressed. But, wow.

And this is classic, too. The other thing that's classic, and you said it earlier, is it starts out with love and good intentions. Always, man. Most of the time. This mom did not set out to harm this little boy. No. But she did. I have to ask, what role did this type of intrusive parent play in his first marriage?

Ooh. Right? What type of intrusive parent has set up a 40-year-old kid that doesn't know how to pay his bills? Mama's a test pilot for a broom factory, huh? I mean i man i am not gonna check the um the uh youtube clips after this one well we might as well because they generally agree with us because that's why they hang out there it'd be funny though oh my gosh tiffany run baby run so tiffany is supposed to say bye-bye felicia is that how this works? Tiffany's just supposed to hit the gas and turn the other way.

No, no, the other way. Oh, Tiffany? Hit the U-turn, spin out, and hit the gas. Okay. Wave in your rearview mirror. See you, Bubba. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. you're listening to the best of the dave ramsay show we'll be back soon with more live content there are people here in the lobby at ramsey solutions which is an awesome thing and uh they

are hanging out with us and among them is matthew and megan standing on the debt-free stage which can only mean one thing that you're here to do a debt-free scream that's right dave welcome guys where do y'all live knoxville oh fun good east tennessee folk huh yes sir oh good welcome good to have you so how much did you pay off we paid paid off $125,000. How long did that take? Two and a half years. All right. Very well done. And your range of income? I went from $90,000 to $115,000.

Nice jump. What do you all do for a living? I'm a nuclear medicine tech. I work for a retina specialist. Oh, very cool. A nuclear medicine tech. So is that at the local hospital or a medical outfit? Or are you over at K-12 or what?

Yeah, I work at a local hospital. Okay. All right. Cool. Good stuff, man. Very cool. Good for y'all. Tell me, what kind of stuff did y'all pay off in this number?

That's a big number, buddy. Most of it was the mortgage. Oh. You paid off your house? Goodness. We're looking at weird people. Yes. Way to go. You paid off your house? Goodness. We're looking at weird people. Yes. Way to go.

What's the house worth? Well, right now, apparently about $220,000. Very cool. We bought it for about $130,000, but the real estate market's booming in Knoxville right now. Yeah, it is. So what part of town are you in in Knoxville? Powell.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Nice. Okay. Good for you guys. Well done. So you attacked the house. What else?

How old are you guys? I had a student loan. Oh. Okay. Good for you guys. So you attacked the house. What else? How old are you guys? I had a student loan. Oh. Okay. How old are you two? 34. 36. You have a paid-for house.

You're just straight-up weird. I love it. I'm so proud of y'all. Thank you. How many 34-year-olds know you don't walk around with a paid-for house? None. Not too many. Way to go.

That's exactly right. Ding, ding. That's a big deal you all so who's who started this between the two of you he started it's all your fault you started it that's me so matthew how did tell us the story how this journey began and how did megan join in and so forth so i had always been sort of a saver anyway um i wasn't really much of a spender even as a kid i would save up my arcade tickets and just never buy anything with it. So it's just in my nature for some reason.

So I had always been kind of Dave-ish even before I knew of you. Then I had read a couple of the books, Total Marnie Makeover, when I was probably early to mid-20s and just starting out. And I was doing a little more Dave-ish at the time but not quite full full force so we got married around and somewhere in there and at one point I started to develop a foot issue at the job I was at full-time and I realized there was no way I could keep doing that particular job because it was involved too much standing all the time and it just wasn't wasn't going to work for me for the rest of my life so I had to go back to um a different career that was sort of saturated in Knoxville which is

nuclear medicine um so there was nothing open in Knoxville as far as jobs in that um so the closest one I could find was about an hour and 10 minutes away in Cumberland. Oh, wow. Yeah, in Crossville. So I took that job. I went from working full-time, having a 40-hour a week at least job to a PRN job. I was working three to four days a week and just trying to get my foot in the door somewhere and show that I was getting some experience. So on the long drives back and forth there, I started hearing, we don't, I don't think there's anywhere to hear your radio show in Knoxville. I didn't know about the app at the time. So on the long drives to Crossville, I heard one time I was flipping through the channels, trying to find something. And I heard your show on,

I was like, Oh, I didn't, I didn't know this was on. So I started listening every day. So every day I would drive, it would get pounded in my head, and I would start thinking more and more, I need to start stepping this up, I need to step this up, I need to do better. And Megan's smiling because she's like, he became a monster. Exactly. Yeah, I'm not going to deny that. So after that, there was something after about nine, ten months that opened up in Knoxville that was at least part-time, but it was only weekends or mostly weekends.

So I thought, you know, I'm already doing – I'm already giving up my weekends. Let's just do seven days a week and knock this mortgage out and just not have to worry about it anymore after that. Wow. So, Megan, what did you say? Oh, this crazy radio indoctrination. That's how I felt at first. I wasn't on board, really. But then I saw his drive and determination, and it made me want to also have all the debt paid off as well.

Yeah. How does it feel to not have a house payment? Really good. Especially now. Especially with COVID stuff going on. That's exactly right. I was about to say, that was a weight lifted off our shoulders. We had it paid off right before it all hit.

Really, it was right around January, so we had a lot less to worry about. Yeah. I mean, you're in a completely different world than your friends. Yeah, that's true. And when that stuff hits and you don't have any payments, not even a house payment, and you've got money. That's right. And you've got marketable skills and everything else.

I mean, you're in a completely great position. Well done, you guys. Thank you. Thank you. Well done. So you did it all off the radio. Yeah, pretty much. I mean, like I said, I'd read your books before, but it really started hitting home the more I listened to the show every day.

Very cool. Unbelievable. I mean, this is a big deal do any of your does your family know that you've paid off the house they do what is what did they say to you um they were just very proud of us um they i guess most everybody that we told they were very supportive but it was kind of like are they really going to do it or they would make fun of me for you know not eating out with them or you know things like that to save money here there's always a detractor isn't there there is yeah

now you can go eat out wherever you want that's right and we did right before we got here and if you kind of like it you can buy the restaurant pretty cool good for you guys seriously job well done thank you great very good okay what do you tell people megan now that you guys did this what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is oh i don't know really i guess to just watch your money and don't spend frivolously all the time you have to know where every dollar goes yeah yeah absolutely so that's what you guys have been doing you've been tracking every dime between the two of you watching it to be able to hit the goal so you can not have to work like maniacs right yes yeah amen well done well done what about you matthew what is your advice to

someone they say how'd you do that i would say tune out the naysayers the best you can um find something that specifically speaks to you to keep you motivated like I did. Those are the two biggest things, I would say. Yeah, you need a why. Yes. And then the people telling you you can't, they have to go away. Right.

Yeah, very good. Good job, you guys. Well, we got a copy of Chris Hogan's book for you, Everyday Millionaires. You are on pace to be that. You already got $250,000 in a paid-for house. It's all downhill from here, man. You got it.

Very cool. And you got this wonderful income and no bills. Man, what an incredible place to be. Very well done. So, all right, Matthew and Megan from Knoxville, count it down, $125,000 paid off in two and a half years in making $90,000 to $115,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt- in making $90,000 to $115,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one.

We're debt-free! Woo-hoo! That is so good. Yes. That is so good. Very, very well done. Very well done. I mean, to be at that age, no mortgage, no debt whatsoever,

and now they've got the really incredible opportunity to become everyday millionaires. Well, they will, based on the track they're on, unless they go sideways and revisit the land of stupid or something. But the lady we talked to from San Francisco, I mean, that's all they did. That's right. She had a million dollars, and she said, we didn't even do it as good as we could have done it. As we could have done it.

That's right. My husband worked his tail off. Yep. And in the study that was done for your book, Everyday Millionaires, we discovered that somewhere around 90%, 89% of millionaires were not millionaires because of inherited wealth. That's exactly right. And it's the largest study of millionaires were not millionaires because of inherited wealth. That's exactly right. And it's the largest study of millionaires ever done.

So I know some of you have political opinions, but they're what's known as wrong. And so it just didn't happen that way in the real freaking world. No, not at all. And another thing in the study that people need to be aware of, 97% of the millionaires we talked to said they control their own destiny. That means it's a matter of, hey, if we've got dreams, we're going to chase it down. You can try to stand in my way if you want to. You're going to get run over. I'm getting to where I want to go.

Yeah. And 63% of the public felt like they'd control their destiny. Yep. Big difference. Yeah. Because, in other words, are you going to kill something and drag it home, baby? That's right. Making it happen.

Hey, if you want the details behind the study, Chris has a quick read called The National Study of Millionaires. The book is out. It's got 144 statistics in it. But if you want to go nerd on it and get into the study, get this little $9 book, and it will tell you all the background and history on the study. Yep. It's failover. Grab it. Thank you. you're listening to the best of the dave ramsey show we'll be back soon with more live content anthony o'neill is my co-host today here on the air. I am Dave Ramsey, your host. Open phones at 888-825-5225.

That's 888-825-5225. Lisa is going to be up next, and Lisa's in San Antonio. Hi, Lisa. How are you? I am great. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up?

I have a question about my daughter. She's a junior in college, and she's going for a bachelor's in music. And she's, you know, talented. And we encouraged her to do what she wanted to do, you know, to make her own decision about what she wanted to do, you know, to make her own decision about what she wanted to major in. But she came home at spring break this year and, of course, didn't go back because of COVID. They did online classes. And she started having an identity crisis and, you know, thinking maybe I shouldn't be majoring in music because during all of

this COVID, nobody's performing. There's no, you know, shows. There's, you know, all of the people that she looks up to are out of work. And so she's like, well, what should I major in and what should I do? And, you know, I don't know what to tell her. You know, she's a smart girl. She could do anything. And I just thought maybe you could.

Okay, so let me clarify and make sure I understand what you're saying that's going through her head. Because of COVID, she doesn't think she needs to be a music major or just COVID made her stop and rethink the whole career track? I will, exactly. That. Because I don't think that there's, I think if you make the assumption there's never going to be performances again, then that's an unwise assumption.

I'm not. No, I'm not making that assumption. And she's not either? No, she's not either. And I told her, I said they will always have the arts because that's what, And she's not either. So many of the, you know, music performers that she looks up to, they're unemployed and they don't know when they're going to be able to work again. Welcome to the music business. Yeah. And she knows that it's, you know, it's not, you know, I'm going to get a paycheck every week.

Yeah. I think she. What does she want to do? Like, cause you keep saying music people, she looks up to, does she want to be an artist as far as an, a performer,

a singer? So she wants to actually sing. Yes. Okay. She is actually, um, she sings opera right now. I'm not sure that that's what she wants to do as a career.

Um, but that's what she's trained as these last two years at college. Gotcha. And, you know, she couldn't do anything. You know, she plays musical instruments, too, and has done some gigs, like, at restaurants in town. Well, if she's within a stone's throw of finishing her degree, if she was a freshman, that'd be one thing, but she's now

into her senior year. No, she's a junior. Oh, a junior. Well, that's two whole years of doing the wrong thing then, if you want to. So I think what she needs to ask herself is, what do I want to be when i grow up and is this degree getting me there if it's not it is time to change a major yeah yeah and if it's music then i would say what's the backup plan to that because if if let's say the world was going regular right now it still would have took her a few years to really get established in that particular field especially in the music industry i know personally because my brother is a hip-hop artist and he's

still somewhat growing and he's been in it for three four years so i would say don't give up on your dreams but what is what's another field that can fuel and fund my lifestyle while I'm building on that dream. Okay. So would you suggest that she double major in something? It wouldn't be bad if she wants to continue on the music. But I think the thing is, the purpose of school is not to discover yourself. The purpose of school, it costs two dadgum much. Right. It does.

The purpose of school would be to put tools in your belt to execute a career path. And so if she's determined that I don't want to be an opera singer and I'm being trained over a four-year degree to be an opera singer, then that's probably a bad track. I mean, you know, she's getting tools to do something that she doesn't intend to do or doesn't think is viable for her. And so, you know, I think you need to figure out what it is you want to, you know, Ken Coleman talks about get clear about where you want to go and then get qualified.

And I think what happened was, was she wasn't super clear on exactly where she wanted to go other than she liked music. Yeah. So I'm going to be a music major. Just that simple and then the the the realities of the music business were just highlighted during covet and it shook her up a little bit and made her realize she wasn't sure that's exactly what the details of that business wasn't sure exactly where she wanted to go so she's growing up a little bit yeah so you stop and

pause and say okay what do i want to do when i'm 39 years old what do i want to be doing and that's best i can determine right now and let's then let's get qualified to do that thing yes if it is music and this music degree qualifies you to do it then fine yes yeah yeah and then also too she got to also realize that we need to figure out she's a junior rising this year. So now is the time she really needs to identify what is it. Am I going that route or do I need to change today? This is the time. Yeah, you don't want to go another year into this and then figure it out. And you don't want to finish the degree and then figure it out.

So while she's all shook up, let's reset. Steven is in Helena, Montana. Hi, Steven. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, guys. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So, my wife and I are 22 years old. We just got married last month, and she came into the marriage with about $25,000 that was paid to her by her parents because she had worked for them her whole life, and she

was never allowed to manage or view her own finances until now. So now, we've been in the process of buying a house and combining our finances, which led to the discovery that that $25,000 she had turned into $13,000 because her mother, quote, says she doesn't deserve that much. And now we're at a point where we're're about ten thousand dollars short on a home down payment on a place you've been looking at and so now i'm just a place you've been looking at what's that a place you've been looking at so right now we're we have an offer in out of place and we're about ten thousand short for the down payment because now we have thirteen thousand

less than what we thought. So wait a minute. You've been married two months. Why has the money not moved to your name before now? Well, with the whole COVID stuff, I live outside of that town and where her bank is. It's a local bank where she's from. So we just got there. We went on the honeymoon and everything.

So by the time we went there, we've actually been married about five weeks. Yeah. So cancel your contract. Yeah. Okay. You shouldn't be buying a house with money you don't have. Right. You have the money in your hand and you jump the gun.

And now you're trying to be mad at her mother. Her mother's obviously a head case. Right? Okay. Isn't she? You had $25,000, but I'm not going to give it to you because you don't deserve it what yeah who says that right so so if for example if her father would lend us ten thousand no that work no no are they married uh The parents, yes. Well, why would he loan you $10,000 when his wife won't give you $10,000 that's already supposed to be yours?

Right. That's dumber than a rock. He wasn't aware. Yeah. Well, if he's got $10,000 to loan you, he needs to just give you the money that you're due. And he can deal with his head case wife. Okay, and then another option is, obviously, if we can go like an FHA on that. Listen, listen, you don't need to buy a house. Do you have enough for that?

Yeah. You don't need to buy a house right now. Okay. You need to get married, calm down, and get this family debacle straightened out, and next spring talk about buying a house. Okay. And you don't need to be borrowing money from daddy, and we got to get head case mother figured out here.

So, and get whatever money you're going to get without a loan into your name. Settle down. Rent for a little while. Make sure you're out of debt and you have your emergency fund in place. And then and only then are we talking about buying a house. But you're going so freaking fast. You just got home from the honeymoon. I got to buy a house.

Calm down. Slow down a little bit, dude. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for the Dave Ramsey Show. This episode is over, but if you heard about an event, product, or service and didn't have a chance to write it down, don't worry. We list everything you've heard about during this episode in the podcast show notes or head to DaveRamsey.com.

Thanks for listening.