The Ramsey Show - App - My Relative Keeps Asking Me for Money… What Should I Do? (Hour 2)

Episode Date: November 18, 2022

Ken Coleman & George Kamel discuss: What to do when relatives ask for money, How to be saving for a house, What to do after paying off your house, 10 in 10 - Ken and George answer 10 questions in 10 minutes from Instagram: Saving up for college, Standing out as a freelancer, What crypto to invest in, Career advice for those retiring from the military, Where to start with budgeting, Tips for getting a raise at the annual review, Is the HSA part of the 15%? Starting a second career after retiring, Advice for newlyweds, Pumpkin pie vs. pecan pie, The relevancy of LinkedIn, What's a good emergency fund amount? Staying at a job you hate. Where to tithe if not plugged into a church. Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Pods Moving and Storage Studios, this is the Ramsey Show, where we talk about your life, your money, your work, and your relationships with you. I'm Kevin Coleman, joined by George Campbell. Thrilled to have you with us. The phone number to jump in is 888-825-5225.

That's 888-825-5225. Phone lines are lighting up. You can still get in, so let's go. I'll be talking to you about work-related issues. We'll talk about relationship issues. We'll talk about your money, of course. So let's go. We go to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Tammy is there. Tammy, how can we help? Hey, good afternoon.

Calling to see if you can help. I have a situation that just seems to not exactly be improving. I've got an aunt that this is the third time now just recently. She's messaged me asking for money because they're tight on cash. The past two times that she's asked, it's been like $1,000 here and there. And she paid it back when she has. The first time she offered interest, second time she just paid back the full amount i'm just getting to the point where i i don't feel comfortable how much longer do i keep doing this the story just keeps dragging out like doesn't seem to be there doesn't seem to be an

end to it no there won't be either because you're a bank for her you know she came to you the first time i will say this i'm i'm i'm pleasantly surprised that she's paid you back both times that's the most shocking part i was really surprised to hear that uh but she's not going to change her habits because she knows or at least she believes up to this very moment that when she gets in a tight pinch she comes and tells you a story and she plays on your emotions and you help her out but the fact of the matter is this isn't about her this is about you and your life and you're not feeling good about it so you know the answer is uh aunt peggy or whatever her name is i'll just call her that you know i'm not giving you money anymore. I don't feel good about it.

And I'm not going to do it. I definitely, I'm not going to, I feel like this is the time that I say no to her. But how do I do that? Very clearly. How do I say no? You can do it kindly, but do it firmly. Yeah. You don't have to be a jerk about it.

Okay. And Tammy, you are not a jerk. You are a very nice person. But Tammy, what you're actually afraid of is not what you're going to say. It's how she's going to react. That's exactly right. You are really worried about it. Exactly.

And that is something that is completely out of your control. And so the hardest thing to do about this whole situation is letting go the idea that you have control of the outcome. Because she could say, well, we're family and I can't believe you do this to me and oh my gosh, you're dead to me now. And she severs the relationship. That's really a worst case scenario, right? Yep. But if the entire relationship was based on these transactions,

there was no relationship to begin with. Exactly. Yeah, and that's sort of how I'm feeling. Well, Tammy, here's the deal. I think here's your choice. Would you rather disappoint Aunt Peggy or would you rather resent her? Yeah, I'm starting to resent her. I know.

I'm asking you to answer the question. This is a would you rather, and it's rather mild. All right. Would you rather disappoint her by saying kindly but firmly, as George said, very clearly, not going to give you money anymore. Would you rather disappoint her or would you rather resent her more than you already resent her? Which one do you want to choose, long term? Yeah, I'd rather disappoint her.

That's the choice and our friend dr john deloney quotes another psychologist when he says choose guilt over resentment every time yeah that's that's the choice because the resentment is a poison the guilt we can deal with but that resentment is going to sever the relationship more than anything and so it's going to be a hard conversation we We're not trying to belittle that. Don't mince the words. Just say, I'm so sorry. I can no longer provide money for you.

I'd love to help you get on a budget and give you some resources to do that. Maybe you gift her the total money makeover. We'll gift one to you if you think she'll read it. But if she's not willing to deal with the underlying behaviors, then you're just an enabler in this situation. Exactly, and I definitely don't want to be that. So do you recommend, because this is like, she's always requested the money over text and it's just easy transaction, obviously. Yeah. Text it. Do I text her back or do I, is this like a phone call situation?

Do you recommend? I think next time she texts you, you give her a call and explain. Yeah. Because over text, there's no tone. And so it's easy to take things the wrong way. I'd much rather say, I wanted to jump on a call real quick. I know you sent me the text. Here's the situation. That's a very good point. But I mean, here's the deal. You have to start this conversation by saying, hey, this is going to be very difficult. This is not an easy thing for me to do, but I've decided. You need to use words like that. So before we actually lay it out there, she understands exactly what's going on. And if she senses any weakness, she's going to pounce.

I promise you. That's a great point. Like, Tammy, you have to be decided. Like, you have to before you even have the conversation, you've got to go, it doesn't matter what she says, what she does, how she reacts. I am choosing this for me. And I've made the choice. The decision's been made.

This is all about communicating a decision. Does that make sense? Yes. Yeah, it does. That's fine. And, Tammy, listen to me. No, because you keep – there's nothing more on this. Because you keep coming back. You're so concerned about what she's going to do, and I get it. But here's what And Tammy, listen to me. No, because you keep, there's nothing more on this, because you keep coming back.

You're so concerned about what she's going to do, and I get it. But here's what you need to understand, Tammy, that no matter what your aunt does or says as a result of this, you are not a bad person. Okay. I want you to say that right now. I am not a bad person. Say it. I am not a bad person.

All right. Then believe it. And george this is why for years decades dave and now we carry that torch this money loaning family members money never getting involved in money issues it just oh it's a recipe for disaster thanksgiving is already awkward enough isn't it true between and sports, let's not bring money into it and go, hey, remember you owe me that money, aunt? Yeah. And she goes, oh, I was going to get it to you. Yeah.

And now she starts avoiding you. Yeah. Oh. It just breaks my heart how my relationship gets to that. And I get it. Let's be very clear. I get Tammy. Who knows?

We didn't dig into what the relationship is. Is it the sister of whatever? But this idea of disappointing any family member is very, very difficult to think about. Agreed. But then you're worried about the damage they're going to do. Why are they going to go tell half the side of the family? You know, oh, you're not going to believe this. You know, it's just like you feel like it's a no-win situation.

Agreed. But that's not the case. There's a reason she went to her niece. She knows other people in her life are going to go, kick rocks and pound sand. I'm not just going to keep giving you money. But when it comes to, Tammy's a very nice person. Very nice. And there's a book out there called No More Mr. Nice Guy. And it's for people who tend to be people pleasers. And they want to make people happy. They don't want to make people feel bad. They want to be liked. And that can cause us to do things that cause us to be resentful.

And I'm one of those people pleasers, recovering. Have you read the book? I have. Yeah, you like it? Amazing read. Yeah, there you go. There's a good recommendation right there for those of you who feel that, you know,

because that's a tough bond to break, you know, where you feel bonded to family or friends that you always have to say yes. Ooh, it's tough. That's one of the hardest things. We're not trying to family or friends, that you always have to say yes. Ooh, that's tough. That's one of the hardest things. We're not trying to belittle it, but it's as simple as it sounds and as hard as it sounds. Really tough stuff. Well, Tammy, thank you so much for calling in and trusting us.

Hang in there. Do what's best for you. Choose you in this situation and let the chips fall where they may. Thanks again for the call. He is George Campbell, I'm Ken Coleman and this is The Ramsey Show. welcome back america you are joining the conversation here on the ramsey show i'm ken coleman george campbell joins me in studio this hour. We're here for you. The phone number is

888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. And I can't even believe I'm about to say this, George. All right? I'm nervous. Yeah, Christmas is almost here. Can you believe it?

It really is. I know, I know. Fair statement. We haven't even carved the turkey yet, but, I mean, I'm at home last night, fire going, and what is my 13-year-old daughter watching?

A Hallmark Christmas movie. Is the tree up? The tree's not up. It's this weekend, though. We're getting way ahead of the game here. I thought you were enabling this behavior. Well, first of all, you're newly married. So, you know, the Christmas movies is a rite of passage.

The Hallmark stuff is a rite of passage the hallmark stuff is a rite of passage for for most women and uh it's it's it's fine it's a little too much for me yeah well they're so predictable for me i can't a little too cheesy a little too mushy you know but we have some lady oh there's a lady in the lobby that's getting up and leaving that was such a controversial statement she's like i cannot handle any more criticism of the hallmark movies and i can't canceled by the Hallmark fans, Ken. Well, Hallmark's wonderful. There you go. Alright, so the point is

Christmas is around the corner. And that means that our $10 sale is the perfect thing for you, people who need some ideas, and you need to keep it in the budget. Alright? $10 sale, it's bigger than ever. If you want to spread some life-changing cheer

how do you like that life-changing cheer the alliteration was top notch yeah that's what i it's what i do um then you can get some amazing deals like dave's bestseller baby steps millionaires or if you'd like to help my kids have a christmas this year you can buy my latest bestseller from paycheck to purpose i felt like i put a little extra emotional push on that one. It's a double whammy. You get something and the Coleman kids get something. Coleman's get a little something. Not much because it's $10.

You're getting the book for $10, man. I worked hard on that thing. But all of those offers are there at RamseySolutions.com, including questions for humans, all these different conversation cards. They've got 75 of them now. Every conversation you could possibly imagine. Questions for humans who live in the North Pole. That's the latest edition, so that's very exciting.

You can get all of those great deals, only $10. The biggest $10 sale we've ever had, just in time for Christmas at RamseySolutions.com. All right, Colby's up in Huntsville, Alabama. Colby, how can we help? Hey, guys. Great to talk to you. I'm a huge fan of the show.

Oh, thank you, sir. How can we help today? So I just recently graduated from college back in May. I started my, I guess, first real job. So now that I've been saving up money, I am curious as to, I guess my next purchase is probably three-ish years down the road is when I want to put a down payment on a house. And right now I'm just piling money in my savings account. And I was wondering if I should take out everything, but maybe the three to six months expenses that I

should use as my emergency fund and then put the rest of that in mutual fund. Well, you said three years. Is that a hard deadline for you? It is not. It probably won't be any sooner than that, but it's not like three years I have to be out of where I'm currently. Okay. Well, our general thoughts on putting money into the market is it's long-term, which means three years from now, you could be losing money. And that scares me. Now, over the course of history, we've seen in any three-year span, you hopefully have gained some. But as we saw in the last year, the market was down. I mean, it was hemorrhaging money. And so my worry is, you know, looking at Colby from three years ago, he puts his money in three years ago, and he looks up today, and he's lost 25%

instead of gained eight. And so that is my worry with you investing this into the market versus parking this money in a high yield savings account, which the good news is high yield savings accounts, the interest rates have come back in a big way. They're at about 3% right now. So you have a guaranteed 3% you can make on your money versus a maybe 8% or 10% in the next three years on average, or maybe negative 10% return. And so that is my worry for you as you just graduated, you've got a lot of life ahead of you. So I would personally would park that in a high-yield savings account if I knew I was going to be purchasing a house three years from now. How much money are we talking?

I have about $27,000 in there right now. I was probably going to keep $7,000 out and then do something else with the other $20,000. Okay. I'd probably keep at least $10,000 as the emergency fund when you start to add up your deductibles on health insurance. Are you starting to pay for that stuff yet on your own i am yes okay uh and then car repairs you have a reliable car right now i do okay yeah i'd probably take you said you got the 27 i'd probably take 10 and keep it in the emergency fund and put 17 in the high yield i

mean you can keep the whole thing in the high yield if you want. I like to park a little chunk of it in my savings account attached to my checking so that you don't have to wait for a transfer to happen after you're getting a bind. Okay. Yeah, that sounds good. But a lot of wisdom for a recent grad, Ken. I like that. Well, it's just a good sign.

You know, there's one more indicator that, you know that people, they kind of take shots at young people, the next generation, blah, blah, blah, and all this kind of stuff. And the fact is, is there's eagles, there's thoroughbreds in every generation. He's got more emotional maturity than people twice his age. Now, the caveat is, be sure you're debt free as well. We didn't ask about that. The way he was talking, it just sounded like he was debt free. Oh, I know. Yeah. Sharp young man. You're very sharp. Hey, real quick before we get back to the phones, we have a fun little segment coming up. We tried this last week. What are we doing, George?

Tell people really quick. This is a segment we have officially coined 10 in 10. 10 in 10. Here's the idea. In our 10-minute segment coming up at 2.30 Central Time, I'm going to go live on my personal Instagram while we are live on The Ramsey Show. That's right. And we are specifically going to answer questions from the Instagram live chat. That's right. And we are specifically going to answer questions from the Instagram

live chat. And the idea is a lightning round. We are answering these quickly and we have to get to 10 questions in 10 seconds or else James fires us. No, 10 minutes. In 10 minutes. We did this last week. So this week we're doing it from George's Instagram. We did it from mine last week. So at George Camel

with a K. K-A-M-E-L K-A-M-E-L at George Camel. So you need to go follow him. You need to get over there because coming up in about 10 minutes, we're going to go live on Instagram. It's going to be big fun. You never know what's going to happen over there on Instagram. Well, we did it last time. I had a lot of fun. What was on your account? You have nicer people following you. Oh. I've got a lot of trolls following me. Well, but they follow you because you're so snarky. Well, it's called a hate follow. Oh. Yeah, that's a new thing among the youth that you need to know about. Oh, is that what I need to know about? Yes. Okay, fantastic. Well, I'm not going to hate you back, George Mike,

but he has deep neurotic issues, so that's okay. Also true. All right, let's go to Tampa, Florida, where Dimitri joins us. Dimitri, how can we help? Hey, how are you guys doing? First time caller here. Oh, well, fantastic. Thanks for calling. What's going on? Well, I'm 37. I just paid off how can we help hey how are you guys doing first time caller here oh well fantastic thanks for calling what's going on well i'm 37 um i just paid off my house whoa i know right way to go thank you uh debt free and just need to know what the next step in um building personal wealth is wow that's a fun one george what does does he do? What's your net worth? Net worth? If I had to put a number on it, I'd say about a half million.

Incredible. So what's the house worth? Probably about $400,000. Awesome. And you got about another $100,000 in investments and cash? I would call it assets. Okay. Not investments. I've maxed out my Roth for the last two years.

So there's about, currently about 11 in there and about another 90 in musical equipment. I'm a pianist. Oh, very cool. That's awesome. Yeah. Well, your next steps are simply to continue to build wealth and give. And so the way I look at it is a really great filter to use. There's only three things you can do with money. Give, save, and spend. So I would allocate some to giving because that will keep your hand open, which is what we want when it comes to money because giving is the most fun you can have with money. I'd allocate some for spending.

You're a very driven guy, and so that tells me you probably don't spend a ton on yourself. Do you? Do you go on fun vacations and buy more gear? I travel. I travel. Good. And then the other part is save and invest. And so continue doing that. Right now, you're heavy on the home side, as far as your net worth goes. I want to see the investment side grow as well. And so you might want to upgrade in-house years from now. And so start saving up for that. You can invest in index funds or mutual funds for that or put in a high-yield savings account. But it's that simple.

Not much to it, Ken. I mean, this is the good stuff. This is when you have total freedom with your income. Every dollar that comes in stays with you. You tell it what to do, where to go, and the world is your oyster. It's an incredible feeling. Dimitri, this is incredible. At 37.

37. Oh, my goodness. Did you give him Baby Steps for Millionaires? We should. Let's give him a copy of Dave's Best Seller. Hang on the line, Dimitri. George and I love to give away Dave's stuff. Especially when he doesn't know about it.

You are the recipient. Hang on. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back, America. You've joined the conversation about your life, specifically your money, your work, your relationships. I'm Kent Coleman, joined by George Camel. And this is a new segment here on The Ramsey Show. If you're new to us, then you will be equally as new as the segment

if you've been with us a while. This is called 10 in 10, so we've got to get to it. We're going to try to answer 10 questions in 10 minutes in this segment, and it's lightning round, and we're doing it on Instagram only. So if you want to head on over to George Camel's Instagram account, we did this last week together, and it was on my account. This time it's on George Camel's account, at George Camel, with a K, K-A-M-E-L. Good call. And we're live right now, George. Hello. Take it away. We're taking only questions from Instagram. The tally starts now. Go, George. Okay, we got one from Andrea here.

How do you prioritize paying off the house versus saving for kids' college when both seem urgent? Ooh, that's an interesting one. Well, it depends on the kid's age. If they're about to go to college, let's focus on making sure they go to college debt-free. If the kids are one year old and you can start saving in an ESA or 529, then I'm okay putting more of that margin onto the house. So it all depends on how old the kids are, how urgent it is, how expensive the schooling is, but do it debt-free. Love it. All right. Amill step three, I'm a stay-at-home mom wanting to make extra money. I teach memory tricks to kids. I teach on, I'm not going to try to endorse

anything. She teaches on an online platform. How do I stand out? Okay, here's how you stand out. You stand out by doing a really, really good job of helping one student, then the next student, then the next student, then the next student. You know, so many times entrepreneurs, people that want to start something on the side, you're trying to go big, and the only way you go big is by being good. So be good for one, two, three, four. Don't worry about scaling it. Keep showing up and keep delivering value. Don't despise humble beginnings. By the way,

we're up to two now. All right. Cameron asks, which single stock or crypto should I invest in? That one is easy. Neither. Neither. Don't invest in these volatile investments. Stick to the boring stuff like mutual funds, index funds, your 401k, your Roth IRAs. Do not mess with single stocks or crypto. Your life is too important. Chris Wimmer says, what career advice do you have for someone retiring from the military this year after a 20-year career? Well, first of all, Chris, thank you for your service to our country. You are a great American. Second, I want you to be looking into your military career for clues and direction. Specifically, what skills did you acquire

and deliver on in the military in 20 years? Secondly, what experience that you have in the military of 20-year career can you translate over to the private sector? A lot of people who retire from the military, George, feel like it's not transferable. Your skills and experience are transferable. The final piece is, what type of work did you really love? And if you didn't love any type of work, what kind of work do you really want to do? How do your skills and experience set you up? And if you need some additional qualification, go do it. But you can do it, and you should.

Again, thank you, Chris. Beautifully said. We've got one from TGRNDKIE. We want to start the baby steps, but we need help with budgeting. Where do we start? Well, it's super easy. Go download the EveryDollar app and it will walk you through how to set up your budget. You can do this online as well, everydollar.com. You list out your income, followed by your expenses. Your income minus expenses should equal zero. We call that a zero-based budget. And that helps you start to figure out as you track it, do we need to make

some cuts? How do we find more margin? Do we need more income? That's what Ken helps you start to figure out as you track it do we need to make some cuts how do we find more margin do we need more income that's what ken helps you do as well and so that's going to be a great start message me i can send you some resources on that as well all right next is uh mega neva joyce boy that's a tough one not sure if that's phonetically correct but that's my shot my annual review is coming up in a few months any tips on boosting my chances for a decent raise like that well let me tell you this you can't help your boss determine how much you will get. That's going to be over your head. Here's what you want to do. You want to set yourself up to where you're having a current and an ongoing conversation about a raise. And we don't ask for a raise, George. We ask for a growth plan. It looks like this. Here's the conversation. Hey, listen, I really like being

here and I want to continue to grow here. And specifically, I'd like you as my leader to help me develop a growth plan that includes what are some things that I could be doing better in my current role? Two, what are some skills and experience that I could add to my tool belt to make me more valuable? And then three, how do we measure that so that I can get more responsibility and more compensation? I'd like to let you write that out for me. Let's get together on this because I want to be held accountable because I want to win.

That's how you go after the race. That's a good one. All right, back to a money question from David Busby. Do you count maxing out an HSA as part of the 15% that we talk about in Baby Step 4? I max my Roth, contribute to a 401k, but would like to max the HSA next? Love the question. HSA is a health savings account, and it's not part of your 15% of investing for retirement in Baby Step 4, because it only can be used towards qualified medical expenses. So your HVAC goes out, you need a car repair done. Well, you can't use your HSA, and so we're not going to count that, but I love the idea of maxing it out, but only once you are in baby step seven, because the rest of the margin, you still need to pay off the house early. You need to start

saving for kids' college. So there's a time and place for it, but big fan of the HSA. LisaX97 asks, is it realistic to start a second career after retiring from your first career at 50? Yes, it's realistic. In fact, I think it would be a lot of fun. What a fun journey to take that first career and the skills and experience that you acquired and then put it to something that you actually have always wanted to do because you don't have to work now. You get to work. I say go for it. You still have many chapters left to write.

I love that one. Here's a fun one. Advice for newlyweds with finances from Caleb. Well, number one, getting on the same page with money. That is the foundation of all of this. If you're not on the same page, you're going different directions. It's not going to end well. So number one, do a budget together and you both need to have a say in what goes into the budget. And so one person can kind of own it, but you got to make tweaks to it. The free spirits, the nerds need to come together on this. And number two, set a vision and set goals for both

of you, not just one of you. Where do we want to see ourselves five years from now? We want to be out of debt. We want to have a paid for house. We want to get the down payment, whatever that is, be aiming towards that together and have fun. Make sure that you're both have some fun money in the budget for each of you to enjoy, to do the things you love to do. James, how many questions are we up to so far? That was nine, so you have one more. Okay, we need a little fun one here. All right. This is very relevant right now.

This is from CourtneyGwen09. Pumpkin pie or pecan pie? George, you first. Pecan for me, Ken. Pecan for me and a dollop of whipped cream on top. Just a dollop. Just a dollop. No more, no less.

Just a dollop. Oh, this is a fun one for you, Ken. Does maintaining a LinkedIn really matter? And yes, my name is Link. That comes from a guy named Link. Oh, Link, who wants to know what he should do on LinkedIn. Well, Link, you should be on LinkedIn. I think it's a wonderful, wonderful tool for connection and information.

But don't rely only on the messaging format from LinkedIn because here's the deal. Everybody's there for the same reason, largely for themselves. Nothing wrong with that. However, if you just rely on the LinkedIn messaging to connect to somebody, you might get ignored because let's be honest, everybody's busy. So here's what I want. Use the information from LinkedIn to make a real-life connection. I know where they work, so I can figure out, I can write a handwritten note

and mail it. I can call, I can set up a meeting, all the good stuff. So don't rely completely on the messaging, but yes, you should be there. Here's one from SC Fishing. What's a good emergency fund amount for an $80,000 annual income? Well, the way we look at emergency funds is three to six months of expenses, and so the income isn't as relevant of a piece of this equation. And so start to look at, relevant of a piece of this equation. And so start to look at, hey, what does it take for us to live in a single given month for our basic expenses? Then we can multiply that out. And if you've got risky, irregular income, you're a single income and you've got two people, I would lean it towards the six months. If you've got two

stable jobs, not a lot of health concerns, then you can lean it towards that three months. And so it all comes down to your expenses. What would it take for you to survive in a given month? And multiply that out. Real quick before we get to our, maybe one more question here. All you people saying it's pecan, you're wrong. All right. And go back to where you were. It's not pecan, it's pecan. Who raised these people? I don't know what's happening in the world today. Holly Larisse 28 28, says, Should I stay at a job I hate when my husband and I are a month away from starting the home buying process? Now, you've got two separate questions here.

Should you stay in a job you hate? No. Should you stay in that job until you replace it because you're in the home buying process? Yes. But do not leave the job unless you have something to leave to. You can hang in there a little bit longer until you replace it. But don't leave it without stepping into something else. Can I just end with this one?

Derek Miller said Ken is a gangster. And I just want to point out how that is categorically false. Not true. Yeah, I mean, furthest thing from gangster there is is me. That's what I said, Ken. They're trolls on my account. You ever known a gangster to use the word dollop? I don't think so.

Also, one more. Brayden Wilson Braden Wilson George he says ham or turkey what say you sir oh I'm going ham all day long no sir turkey get a better nap out of that all right there it is 10 and 10 we did way more than 10 oh high fives I'm exhausted we got to take a break. We'll be back, though. This is the Ramsey Show America. I'm Ken Coleman, joined by George Kimmel. Thrilled to have you with us. The phone number to jump in is 888-825-5225. Hey, if you have gone through Financial Peace University, chances are it's because someone else in your life lit a fire under you

or maybe mom and dad or another family member gave it to you as a gift or maybe your pastor offered it at your church. So you took the class, you started working the baby steps, and now everything's different. You've changed your future and your family tree. And so now you can give someone you care about Financial Peace University. Give them the same hope. And with Christmas coming, this is the perfect time to do it.

And when you give FPU as a gift, they get more than just a course. They get the premium version of every dollar so they can start living on a budget. So this Christmas, you can give the people you care about the gift that actually matters, hope and freedom to buy FPU as a gift. Go to ramsaysolutions.com slash givefpu. That's ramsaysolutions.com slash givefpu. Good stuff there, George. Have you given it away as a Christmas gift before? I have.

I usually pair it with something else just so it doesn't feel like, hey, you're not great with money. I'm going to gift it. So I like to pair it with a little something. What would that be? I think people want to hear that idea now. Let me think what I've done before. I've done some specialty baked goods.

Oh, baked goods. Okay. So FPU and some goodies. A heated blanket. Oh, very nice. That's a fan favorite. Wow. So think of that as something personalized to them.

Yeah, very nice. On top of the gift. I like that. Don't be surprised if you don't get a personalized blanket from me this year. A heated personalized blanket. Oh, yeah, of course. Hashtag bless this mess on it. That's perfect.

Let's go to Whitney, who is in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Whitney, how can we help? Hi, gentlemen. I'm so excited to talk to the root beer float team. Come on. That's what America is telling us. We are the root beer float. By the way, is George the root beer, or is he the vanilla ice cream?

Tell us. I feel like George is the root beer because he's bubbly and fizzly, and Ken, you're definitely like the smooth, rich vanilla. There it is. Wow. Beautifully said. Wow. So, yeah, this analogy continues to take a life of its own,

and when you call in and tell us that, well, you're going to have to ask. First time I've been described as fizzy. I've never felt so good about being called vanilla, though. Rich as well. She really made that feel good. So that's good. All right, Whitney, it's all about you.

Thank you for calling. How can we help? Thanks so much. Okay, so this is a two-parter. The first part is I just want to say thank you to all of you and all that you do.

You've been a blessing on our family's life. And sorry, anything else? the emotional? We were able to pay off $250,000 of home and credit card debt. Yay, Whitney! So thank you so much for all that you do. Well, it's an honor to be a part of that.

You guys did the hard work. We're so proud of you. Yeah, you did all the work. Whoa, that's amazing. Thank you, thank you. So now that we're not working seven days a week anymore, we haven't been able to plug into a church yet, and we're just trying to figure out what we should do with that 10% prize and extra giving. Do we just park it in a savings account?

Do we give it to an organization? Like, especially with the holiday season, like, we want to make sure that we're really giving back all the blessings that God has given to us, but we just don't know what the right way to, how to do that is. It's a great question, and I've been there. When I first moved to Nashville, and you're kind of church shopping, as we call it here, which is sad, but there's more churches than people around here, and so what we did, or what I did at the time I was single, is I found local ministries and some national ministries that I really respected. I loved the work they were doing, and I gave there while I was looking around for a church. Okay. Okay. So it's okay, because we did listen to some church podcasts and things like that,

but we weren't sure if it should be more focused on your local community, or for the time being, it's okay to do something that's like a wider, has a wider scope? Yes. I mean, I think Scripture's pretty clear that your local church is where that should go once you have that. And you could save it and do it as a lump sum once you find the church. That could be a really cool way to bless them. But in the meantime, you know, number one, we gave up on church shopping. Let's just plug in somewhere. You know, we don't need to find something that's to our exact taste, and I get that, you know, you could be in between there. But find something, local ministry especially, that you appreciate, a nonprofit that has run very well,

that you can pour into in this season until you plug into that church. So I love the question. I love the heart behind it. The fact that you even are grappling with this question is amazing. And, again, this is not like a salvation issue. You're not going to get dinged on your jewels on the crown in heaven, Ken. This is not that serious. No, I mean, listen, this comes down to this is about the spirit of it.

And to your point, why you can save that tithe, pull it aside, and then once you choose the church home, then you can go ahead and pay it there. And that's perfectly fine. It's not a bunch of rules. No, no. But I love the question. And I tell you, I love the emotion, the true gratitude that you hear from somebody. They get choked up because they're just so grateful to have arrived at a destination.

And in this situation, it is being debt-free. And that's always really important. Well, I can tell when he's a generous person. And so once you're debt-free, on top of the tithe, now you can do offerings. That's right. And you can really give outrageously. That's right. That's where it gets exciting.

All right, let's go to Mike now in Syracuse, New York. Mike, how can we help? Good afternoon, gentlemen. Yeah, you bet. What's happening? First-time caller, long-time listener. Oh, I love this one. Well on my way to debt-free living, only because listening to you guys over the years, I appreciate it so much. You bet. So my question is, back in my stupid

finance times, like 2005, 2007, I made some really dumb business decisions. I feel, um, I have one outstanding debt, uh, from a company I probably shouldn't mention. Um, but, uh, so there was like a $37,000 debt balance that I, that I was kind of wheeling with them about three years ago, uh, about a year and a half ago, I was working with a company. I was trying to settle. Um, I was trying to pitch him like, I don't know, like $18,000 to settle on the $37,000. They denied it. And we kind of lost contact about a year and a half ago. Recently received a letter from them that they're willing to settle this whole thing for, like, $5,000.

This is a business line of credit. I am the owner of the company. So I just need some advice as to if you were me, would you follow through and pay that $5,000 or just tell them to go jump on a lake? Well, did you take out the amount of debt, the $37,000? It's certainly my debt, yes. But as I said, they hadn't contacted me. They kind of lost communication with them.

I wouldn't do the $18, 18, now coming back for five. I guess I just need some advice which direction to go. I would be grateful it's at five, and I would stop losing sleep over it and pay them the five and move on with my life. But I would not just ignore this and tell them to kick rocks and pound sand. I mean, you took out the debt. You signed your name on the paper. I think you do the thing, you know, have the integrity to just go, all right. It was a long time ago. I could probably ignore it and have it go away. But, man, I'm going to sleep better at night knowing I did the right thing.

So you're so close, man. Yeah, and there's nothing on my credit report regarding this, nothing. They haven't sent me in or done anything like that. Oh, good. And that's why I'm like, you know, where I'm at right now, I'm more than willing to take responsibility for it. I just, like I said, I've never been in this situation. Just be sure to get it in writing that this thing is clear.

Yep. That you have no more relationship with him. That's the way to do it. Yeah, and there's this, you know, I love that he's asking the question. I love that he's willing to be transparent to go, okay, do I do this or do I just say, forget it, man? It's not on my record. The statute of limitations and he's making a, and, and, you know, there's just something that it does for your soul to settle this thing. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. On one side, there's the integrity and character of,

you know, I took out the debt on the other side, it really does free you. And you don't realize the weight that these situations have in our minds, on us physically. I mean, it's absolutely incredible once you really look at it. Yeah, it really is. I'm doing it, Ken. Getting rid of the debt once and for all. I would too. Hey, you know that feeling, George, you get when you finally remember to leave your keys by the front door so the next morning when you're running late, they're right where they're supposed to be? Been there, done that. Do you? I don't think you experience that. You seem to be very keys by the front door so the next morning when you're running late, they're right where they're supposed to be. Been there, done that.

Do you? I don't think you experience that. You seem to be very put together. Me, on the other hand, this is written for me. But that's part of being put together. Oh, very nice. Well, here's one of those opportunities. We're heading into the holiday season where our brains are focused on buying presents,

thawing turkeys and all of the things. And then all of a sudden it's January and we feel behind on everything. We want you to make plans to start the new year strong by joining us for Building Wealth Live here in Nashville, January 12th. Oh, it's going to be great. We're also headed to Indianapolis, Austin, Salt Lake City, and Anaheim for our 2023 event season. Dave Ramsey, Rachel Cruz, myself, George Kimmel,

Dr. John Deloney, all of us together. Passes are only $39. You can reserve your seat now for a Building Wealth Live event. It's ramseysolutions.com slash events, ramseysolutions.com slash events. We'll see you on the road. Hey, it's been a great hour. Thank you, George. Thank you, guys. Thank you, America. This is The Ramsey Show. Do you love a good day, Brandt? Want to see the latest Ramsey Show videos going viral? Check out your favorite moments from the Ramsey Show on YouTube.

Go watch and subscribe to the Ramsey Show channel on YouTube.