The Ramsey Show - App - My Rent Is More Than My Income (Hour 1)

Episode Date: June 17, 2024

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. The call is free, and some say the advice is worth exactly what you pay for it. The phone number is 888-825-5225. Thanks for hanging out with us, America. Number one best-selling author,sey personality and youtube extraordinaire star george camel would be my co-host today as we take your questions about your life and your money 888-825-5225 lisa's in colorado springs to start this hour hi lisa how are you i'm good how are you doing better than i deserve what's? Good. I am in a marriage. I'm a year in.

And it was a high-risk marriage. We're not doing so swell right now. But I don't have about a year and a half ago is when I first started investing in my 401k through my work. I have about only $ 10,000 saved up. I'm concerned being 45 years old that I guess I don't know where to go from here on how to make sure that I am going to be okay come that age that I am ready to retire. But I know I have a long haul ahead of me, but my husband is not super interested in a 401k. He only has about $20,000 in an older 401k. We don't have our finances combined currently right now just due to, you know, it's been a very rough year. So we didn't combine right off the bat like we intended to.

Okay. And I'm very hesitant to do that. Let's stop a second okay so how y'all doing we're not doing well okay are you seeing someone to help you with this we are we've been in counseling for pretty much the whole year what what is a high risk marriage i don't know what that is. I thought they all were. I'm at risk of dying at all times, I'm just saying. No, we have, I have grown children. He has very young children, one with special needs,

with Down syndrome. And so that going into it, you know, we were advised that that, you know, the percentages of things not working out were already pretty high not in our favor um well that's a way to put a blessing over a marriage you guys you guys meet like a is there like a marriage statistician that laid this out for you it was a premarital counselor okay well i guess he or she was just just trying to warn you that these are extra stressors that some people don't have to face, but I don't know if I'm going to allow that to be a curse that's spoken over my life either. Right, right. And moving into the marriage, we thought, okay, you know, we know this is what we have to work on, but right now... So what is the trajectory right now? Are we going to work through this? Are we going to make it?

Or are you giving up hope? Not giving up hope. I mean, we did file a couple months ago. We took it off the table. That's not what we want. It would be my second, divorce's third. So it's definitely not something that we are, you know, and we want to try everything before you know that's an option um so your question is whether to combine your stuff now in the middle of this storm

right no i would not yeah no i wouldn't okay that adds one more stressor okay okay but as a as a rule of and i said in the middle of the storm the other thing is you can't live sustainably in a storm forever so the hurricane the tornado whatever metaphor we want to use on this is going to leave at some point and it needs to leave at some point because you're going to drive yourself nuts you don't want to live exactly like this for five years agreed agreed okay so something's going to give we're either going to get better we're going to get out okay at some point i'm not saying today but as soon as we reach the point that we're getting better then we need to say all right we're going to make the hard decision to go one more step and that's combine everything because we don't see the numbers tell us the data

tells us we don't see people succeeding financially or relationally that keep all their stuff separate it's just it's just a roommate then and you're not you haven't you haven't you haven't promised that that i'm never going anywhere and so i don't really give a crap about your 401k or his, whether he's putting money in 401k right now. What I care about is can you guys get knitted together in this relationship? And if you can get knitted together and now you are one and you start breathing in the same rhythm and now we're starting to look distant into the future and we can see us together in that future,

then we combine the stuff because it'll help you on the financial front and on the relational front. and now we're starting to look distant into the future and we can see us together in that future, then we combine the stuff because it will help you on the financial front and on the relational front. But right now it's just going to add stress because you've got all this suspicion and worry and I don't know if we're going to make it. I would keep it separate, but I'd also keep it, if you want to keep it separate, it's fine, but also then keep it all on the table so everybody knows everything

you don't have any hidden accounts he doesn't have any hidden accounts yeah and i believe he does and that's part of the problem too is not knowing what exactly he brings in um we have a super high mortgage i mean just there's a lot of things yeah it doesn't absolve you of communicating about money so i don't want you to conflate the two. You still have to talk about money openly. It sounds like that hasn't happened. He's still unwilling to do that. Is the nature of the issues largely financial or is that just a piece of it?

Oh, that's just the honesty, transparency, and loyalty are our issue really at hand. But the finances, you know, I don't want to combine. He does. our issue really at hand but the finances you know he i don't want to combine he does so that causes just another element to this is hey we're not acting as a married couple because you won't join finances with me but i have quite a bit of hesitation to do that for different reasons and you know so it's just it it's just calm well yeah circle circle back with your next time the two of you're in front of your counselor together circle back with that because here's the deal. Honesty, transparency, loyalty are all essential to win in any relationship, certainly a marriage relationship.

And until you have that, you can't combine because your hope of making it forward is very low. Unless one of you just wants to assume doormat position, which is really toxic and unhealthy, codependent crap. Okay. But, yeah, if you're going to go forward, you need to get those things cleared up. And, by the way, I'll just be the old guy that knows nothing about therapy except having been through it because Sharon tried to kill me. I mean, I tried to.

I mean, we almost, yeah, it was bad. And a long time ago. But, yeah, so, but honesty, transparency, and loyalty have nothing to do with grown children or special needs children. Those don't cause honesty, transparency, communication, and loyalty problems. They expose them like money. It doesn't cause those things, but it exposes the problems. And so, you know, the high-risk marriage thing has to do with those things.

And if you don't get those solved, I'll give you a high probability of, you know, either going crazy or getting out. So, you know, that's where – and, you know, I don't know what the timeframe is, but you don't need to go on ad infinitum and forever and ever with this. It's not a plan. Constant counseling for years. Yeah, like five years later, we're still having this exact same narrative, this exact same routine. No, thank you. Life goes on.

You move to the next thing. I don't want you to end your marriage. I want it to work out. But I'm with you. You keep them separate until you have honesty, transparency, communication, loyalty, whatever those keywords were you dropped that are pretty serious bomb words. So yeah, you got to get that cleared up

because that's part of what combining the stuff forces you to do, actually. But I wouldn't do it in this case until you get some positive traction. You need the foundation first. This is Ramsey Show. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host.

We appreciate you joining us. George Campbell, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Phil is with us in Detroit, Michigan. Hey, Phil, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Thank you for having me, gentlemen. Sure, what's up? So I started a business about two years ago and it's doing quite well. And I'm just trying to decide what I should do with the wealth that I'm amassing, especially because I plan on living a fairly humble life over the next 10 years

and just kind of seeing what I can do with that. Good for you. That sounds cool. So what kind of money are you making? This past year, the second year in business, I took home about $190,000. This year I'm projected doing about $250,000, but it's just kind of climbing more and more, so it very well could be higher than that. Good for you. Well done, sir. And obviously the most money you ever made in your life. By far. I started working four years ago. I graduated. I'm a physician. Oh, good. Oh, yeah, you're rocking it. Well, good.

Well, all those dreams are coming true on the financial side anyway. Yes, sir. Very good. So what's your question? So I'm trying to decide what I should do with the money that I'm amassing. And I'm time between I already have my loans paid off, all of that. I'm trying to decide, and I see it in three categories paying off my home that's not a forever home going into more into retirement uh and then really the biggest option that i'm

trying to weigh out is buying a commercial building okay well all three are good things the only question is the order right um yes sir and what would we do we would follow the baby steps right yeah so are you investing currently? Yes, sir. I'm maxing out a Roth IRA as much as possible, and all the money I'm amassing is going into an individual brokerage account that I'm making about 10% on right now. Okay. So let's say you're investing 15%.

That's baby step four. Are you doing anything other than just your Roths? I'm setting up a simple IRA through the business that I'll be matching out and maxing out as much as possible for myself and my wife, who also is an employee of the business. Okay, that's good. So we want to get you to 15% of your income going into retirement, not brokerage. Okay. Okay, that's step one. That's the first thing you do, because you said three things, retirement, pay off the condo, and buy a building, right?

I don't even know if it's worth paying off the condo since it's not a forever home. It doesn't matter, honey. There's not a forever home except heaven. You're going to move. When you move, they're going to give you a check. Yeah. So it doesn't matter. So how big is the condo, and when are you going to sell it?

It's a little 1,600 square foot. I have thrown around the idea of keeping it and just renting it out as a rental afterwards. But like I've heard many times on your show, that's not a truly passive income, so I don't even know if that's worth the headache of it. Well, you told us your goal was to own commercial space, not to be a landlord. So I'd want you aiming at that goal. And if that means we're going to have a paid-for condo and the rest of the money we're going to get in a commercial space, and when we can upgrade to a home, we do that.

What do you owe in your condo? About $160,000. I put a down payment on it starting last year. Okay. Okay. First and foremost, you are an above-average doctor. Most doctors suck at money and you have, you have avoided doc itis, which is graduating from school, buying a house.

You can't afford into BMWs that you can't afford while you have $280 million in student loan debt. That's a typical doctor. Okay. Yes, sir. They suck at money and they're like stereotypes. They're like athletes and artists. I mean, it's crazy.

Now, some of them don't, but I'm just saying that's the stereotype. And they don't even make the top five in the millionaire category, the people that become millionaires. So you're way above average because you're thinking about this. You're actually, you said, I'm going to live humbly. You're living in a tiny little condo. You're awesome. In order to achieve bigger goals, you're willing to put off more.

Delay pleasure. Again, you delayed pleasure to get through med school to have to achieve a big goal way to go now you're talking about doing in the financial realm you're way ahead so let me just give you like star star star star five stars across the board you are killing it i'm proud of you now having said that you asked the question so we're going to teach you the fastest right way to build wealth that I used, George used, and that we've taught tens of millions of people to do. We use a thing called the baby steps. We want you to have an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses. We want you to have then, we want you to be putting 15% of your income into retirement. If you're not going to stay in that condo longer than six months, let's just go ahead and get it on the market and talk about selling it and buying a house that we want. Then the next

step is going to be pay off the house. If you are going to stay in the condo, let's just pay off the condo. Then and only then do we start saving up for longer, bigger investments. That's after baby step seven, which maybe step seven is everything's paid off, 100% debt-free, and you're putting money into retirement at the tune of at least 15% going in. Above that, then go buy some commercial buildings for cash. They're awesome. I've got a bunch of them. What's it going to cost?

I was looking at possibly around a million dollars, and I've, yeah, for the commercial building. Cool. Is that, you can put your practice in it or you just want yes sir i would be moving my my business into it to to then like start a different business that i would be renting from and then i would also attend yeah yeah that's a that's not a bad plan at all but it's not it's not necessary for your practice to grow it's just a nice benefit i'm sitting in the building we own 100% of, paid for, and our operation runs from this campus. And, you know, it's a large commercial building, obviously. And so that's after you get the condo paid off or wherever you're living

paid off, and that's after you're 100% debt-free free and that's after you have money going into retirement and have an emergency fund that's when I do the commercial building so this could be years down the line and not really because he's making bank once you start increasing this thing you can put 200 300 grand away each year it becomes a you can start putting 15% away today into different retirements you got the simples it's got the Rothoths you probably get 15 there today and then you start you go from 250 to 350 to 450 and you keep living in a 16-year square foot condo you pay it off in like a year and a half it's gone and then you start moving towards a commercial building or you can move up in house depending on which one your wife wants i mean i mean depending on that

was the honest answer whoops i just said that out happy wife happy life well when you started you know ramsey solutions you weren't you didn't just go buy a commercial property at the beginning. No, I didn't buy anything for 10 years. So you were leasing, renting a space until you could pay cash. Yeah. I think you bought the building that we were in at the time. But we were there five years with a lease, with an option, yeah, first. Yeah, but we weren't making the money he's making either.

I mean, I wasn't making that kind of money then. But eventually we were. But I'm saying that's when we bought that building because we got to Baby Step 7 and we were stacking cash. And we moved at the speed of cash, which is still a shock to everyone that we even do that around here. And they're like, Dave's lying. I bet they – and I'm like, no. I don't know how – you got to show them the financial records, Dave. They need proof.

Yeah. I mean, people are, isn't it funny? So here's the thing, okay? You'll love this one, okay? So we've got a very nice home, a wee bit expensive. And this, I'm going to try to be nice. I can tell you're trying to be kind. This person told a friend of ours that it's impossible to own a home like that that's paid for.

And I'm like, why is it impossible? You either have the money or you don't. I mean, it's possible. You can say it's unlikely. You can say you don't think Ramsey makes that much and he's lying so he borrowed to buy that house but here's the thing in every state in the united states if you get a mortgage do you know what they do they record it at the courthouse it's public record record do you not think some of these left-wing rags that hate me would have already pulled up the

public records and announced that Dave Ramsey's a complete fraud if I didn't have mortgages on everything? Because it would take about, I mean, anybody's ever done a title search, anybody in the real estate business, anyone who's ever bought a piece of real estate in America knows how to do it. I mean, you walk into the thing and go, hey, pull up and see if Dave Ramsey or any of these entities that I know that he has got a part of has any mortgages listed. It takes about, I don't know, with a computer, 45 or 50 seconds. So out of all the lies, that feels like a pretty stupid one.

That's just the dumb one. I mean, I get the guy over at the mall that sells timeshares and says, oh, Ramsey buys a timeshare from us every so often over here. He's a liar. My favorite one is when someone— Because you can't prove that one. Someone said you financed like a washer dryer because there was another guy named David Ramsey. I got an extended warranty. That's what it was.

It's just hilarious. These people just, but yeah, but yeah, no, we don't have any mortgages. What a fun life you get to lead. I know, but it's just, I'm always amazed how dumb people are. You know, that you would say something like that because all you've got to do is go down to the stupid courthouse and this left-wing rag we have in Nashville used to be a newspaper. Now it's a little pamphlet called The Tennessean.

It would have already run a negative story about me. It's run negative stories about everything else. Ain't got that kind of dirt. You know, that would be big dirt on Dave Ramsey. I mean, he has mortgages. That'd be pretty much the end of my career. This is The Ramsey. I mean, he has mortgages. That'd be pretty much the end of my career. This is The Ramsey Show. George Campbell, Ramsey personality, is my co-host. Open phones at 888-825-5225.

David is in Kansas City. Hi, David. Welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hello. Hi, what's up? Well, I am a divorced man. I'm 69. I have a relationship with a widow who's 68. She's in another state. We're talking and we like to get together, but I'm trying to be a righteous, godly man. I don't want to just live together. I want to get married. But if I get married to her, then she will lose her pension from her deceased husband, which is quite substantial. So what I was thinking is just having a church wedding, doing everything the same, except not filing for a state license.

So I just wanted your thoughts on that what is the nature of the pension I'm confused why she loses it if she remarries that sounds more like Alamo pension no no it's her husband was a police officer for the state of New Jersey, which they have very, very generous pensions. And so it's between $3,000 and $4,000 a month, and she would lose that if she remarries. And what most people do in these situations is they just live together. They don't even think about it. But I can't do that. It's a deal breaker for me. I would want to have some kind of

ceremonies i'm trying to be a righteous man trying to do the right thing but uh it's and this woman has had been through a lot she's lost her mother her sister and her husband within the span of three years and she's been insecure most like most of her life and she finally has financial security and so for me to come and say hey well you know we're getting married what is your what is your net worth uh well i'm a chiropractor so i make uh about 90 000 a year but uh i get some social security too my net worth is uh not much uh 20 20 000 right now I don't have anything saved. I lost everything a couple years ago

through divorce. Yep. And how long have you been seeing this lady? We've been talking for several months. Okay. Have you met her? Oh, yeah. Okay.

I swear you said talking. I didn't know if you were talking on the phone. Like long distance. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's why you said talking. I didn't know if you were talking on the phone. Like long distance. No, I saw her last year. I saw her. We met and we talked. And she's an old, years ago was a girlfriend in high school. So I know her from back then.

I know all about her from back then. Okay. All right. Yeah. Well, it's a difficult one. I'm not going to argue with you there. I'm with you, though. There's no question I'm not living with someone I'm not married to.

I can't do that as a person of faith, okay, as a Christian. My book tells me not to do that. I don't do what the things the book tells me not to do because they don't prosper me and they're not good for the people in my life and people around me and so forth. So I just try to, even though it doesn't make sense sometimes, I just do what the book says, and so I'm not doing that. I'm not like a Pharisee. It just worked good for me, you know, so I'm a follower of the book. Well, there's a lot of people that do do that. They just live together.

Yeah, I know, I know, they do, and it seems like it's okay, but you and I know that there's other issues. So then the only question, if you go to the church wedding and you don't file with the state, is just it's no longer a theological or doctrinal or religious question. You've solved that. The only question on the table is you are intentionally lying. It's an integrity issue, just to keep this in place. And that's also a potential deal breaker i've got to work through that in my head if i'm in your shoes um i'm not saying you're doing that

but i'm you know this is basically a maneuver to manipulate and not tell these people you're married um and you are married and so that's deception you know there's no question about that and um there's good reasons for it here but it is who gets back to who instituted marriage was marriage instituted by the government or was it instituted no no it doesn't it doesn't it doesn't you and i know when you go get married you're married okay and you know that the state of new jersey did not want this pension going to her when she remarried, and you're not telling them is what you're doing. And so, you know, I've just got to work through that.

I'm not accusing you of something bad here, but I can't get – I'm 63, so you and I could be in the same boat someday. I'm 63, so you and I could be in the same boat someday. I'm not today, but I'm trying to relate and think through. Well, I'm not trying to game the system. You know, the other thing is I would investigate if there are any things that you can file with the pension board for individual exceptions? Like the particular nature of... I did hire an attorney.

Yeah, I did hire an attorney. I looked into it, and they said, there's nothing much you can do. And it's just kind of crazy to me because the state is actually promoting, you know, a fornication lifestyle that's okay it's okay well they do they do with a lot of things i mean they do with a lot of things they do with the tax code they do with a lot of other things so that's not that's not new that doesn't change your stance or my stance we have to do our thing regardless of what the stupid state does there's a lot of things that are legal that aren't right so well that's what i'm saying

if i'm doing this right in my eyes before i'm going to have a ceremony okay then i mean i'm just talking it through with you you you're more than welcome to whatever you want to do i'm not saying you're a bad guy i'm just talking it through with you if i'm in your shoes i've got to work through the fact that i am intentionally deceiving the state. And is that okay? And I'll give you a parallel example in my life is that I hate, so much so that just talking about it right now, my heart rate is changing. I hate the federal income tax. It is absolutely immoral, out of control, pitiful. The money that I send to the federal government makes me want to throw up every time I think about it.

I hate it. It's pitiful how bad they run this country, and they keep milking me even more, taking my money at the point of a gun. I hate it. But you know what? I pay 100% to the penny that I owe. I take every legal regulation and loophole they allow me to take, and I'm a student of it,

and I hire people with expensive checks that are students of it so that I can give them as little as possible with 100% of integrity. But I hate it that i mentioned that i hate it that i bring that up and so you know but it's it's not about them it's about me am i doing the right thing so if i'm in your shoes i've got to get i'm not going to accept your lawyer's answer i'm going to get with this get with these people i'm going to talk to uh the governor crap call the governor talk to him i mean talk to the whoever runs the police commission in the state of new jersey and say look this guy died on the job and you're denying his widow the right to move forward with her life with this it's ridiculous you're asking her to shack up at 69 years old like she's some kind of 19 year old that can't

keep their pants on this is ridiculous and and you guys need to you need to give us an exception on this i'm gonna i'm gonna bust them yeah if i'm you and i understand why they do it by the way but uh to keep somebody from uh keep the widows from being a target later with them with the juicy pension but um well i'm not saying he's targeting her if she if they get married you know he's he makes ninety thousand dollars that would effectively replace her income as long as they're married but it still puts her at a precarious situation i she she's not going to do that she's just she's been through hell and she's this money means a lot to her yeah um and so i i understand the

predicament and i'm not uh unsympathetic to it but you asked and so i've got to tell you the way we answer questions of the show is what would we do if we woke up in your shoes right i mean put your shoes on walk in them i i hope i'm not ever in those shoes those are difficult shoes uh but the first thing i gotta solve is for the doctrinal part the the faith issue you've solved for that one that one's done and then I'll fight the bureaucracy after that. Yeah. That's like a couple of kids getting married in their 20s or something, and they want to have a big, fabulous wedding, but they want to go ahead and get married. They want to go and live together now. So they go to the church and they get married. And then six or eight months later, they have a wedding

for all their friends. And that's okay,'re married that's that's you know financially legally spiritually all in line it's a you know that it's in that kind of same bucket for me as far as that goes but I don't care if you register with a state but I do care about deception in my life I don't want to be the gods doing. This is the Ramsey Show. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but it yields a harvest of righteousness. That's a Bible verse. The way we say it around here is if you live like no one else, later you can live and give like no one else. You're going to pay a price to win.

Or you're going to pay a price by living in mediocre. You're either going to go through some crap and deny yourself some things in order to get to where you want to go, or you're just going to live in mediocrity. There is a price to be paid either way, a life of mediocrity or the life of a champion because you paid a price to win the game. You did the workouts. You did the runs, you did the film study, and then you go win the game. And so the way we say that is live like no one else, pay a price,

so that later you can live and give like no one else, drive a car like no one else. All your friends are making fun of you. And then when you buy a car that's worth more than they are, you can say, how do you like me now? And then you drive whatever the flip you want to drive because you've got some money because you didn't spend it all on a car

when you was a broke person trying to look like you're not a broke person, right? Delayed gratification versus instant gratification. It's the hallmark of people who are emotionally mature the ability to delay pleasure in other words you be a grown-up and i'm not talking about chronologically you can be a grown-up at eight years old if you know how to delay pleasure that's a hallmark of emotional maturity most people don't have it that's why you stand out like in a wonderful way when you have it.

People that can delay pleasure, they can stay away from the donuts. I've been working on that one, and it's hard for me, but I like donuts, and I haven't had one in a while. You look good. Thank you. You do, too. Camera adds down pounds, so don't go off of that. So do vacations, but not this one.

It was hiking the whole freaking time but anyway uh so all of that to say we live like no one else so later you can live like no one else so about in 2020 we decided we were going to we in 2019 we launched this wonderful cruise that was going to happen in march of 2020 called the live like no one else cruise and we're going to take folks that are on baby step four meaning you're out of debt, everything but the house, and you have your emergency fund in place. You paid a price to win. If you're Baby Step 4 and beyond, you're investing,

you're paying off your house and beyond, then you go on the Live Like No One Else Cruise. It's a mile marker, right? And so we've got the Holland America, one of their top ships, fabulous ship. We've got some of the top people from nashville like steven curtis chapman multiple grammy winner 67 dove awards it's going to be with us uh one of our good friends we've got other comedians and things with us that are it's going to be a blast all the ramsay personalities and we're going to do events ramsay events on the ship all week long and we're going to be with you all of us including me

including sharon all seven days and it is a fabulous this is not the walmart on the seas cruise this is the nice cruise okay i don't go on those boats all right this is the nice one i want i'm not and i don't want to do it if we're going to go if we're going to go half butt right so if you're going to live like no one else you need to live like no one else so if you're going to go half butt, right? So if you're going to live like no one else, you need to live like no one else. So if you're baby step four and beyond, we're doing the cruise again because obviously we didn't get to do it during the Fauci pandemic.

So now we've got to go and we had to start everything over. So we launched the thing for sale. We're going in March of 2025 and it's going to be a celebration of you because you've lived like no one else. So that's where you are. If you're baby step four, you're doing that.

Live like no one else, Cruz. At this point, it's 72% sold out. There are like three suites left and some really nice rooms left because there's not any dumpy rooms on this particular ship it's it's almost brand new it's a fabulous fabulous ship so holland america's top top flight so anyway this is going to be a blast march 22 through 29 2025 the pit stops are amazing too oh yeah san keiko saint thomas puerto rico the bahamas yeah we're gonna have fun fun time just with those excursions there maybe we'll go snorkeling with dave is that an

option is that an upgrade package yeah swimming with shamu yeah that's it yeah but you know the uh that's it no i don't i don't have that one on there that i know of but anyway hey we're gonna be hanging out with y'all all week it's gonna be fun you'll get bored with it but and what's cool is that right now if you if you book it there's a deposit so 600 bucks locks in your room and then you pay the rest as we get closer to the cruise so you know if that's something you want you know like why i haven't budgeted for this well if you're in babysat form beyond you've got the wiggle room put the deposit down and then join us yeah yeah you got time to do it and and you better well you got not got much time because it's selling out really, really fast. Yeah, we're on pace to sell out by the time the summer's over.

Yeah, oh, well, or sooner, yeah. I talked to him this morning. I think probably, what is this, June? We need to be done in June probably. But anyway, yeah, so if you guys want to come, we would love to have you. The Live Like No One Else Cruise, be sure and check it out. Karen is in Irvine, California. Hi, Karen, welcome to Ramsey Show.

Hi, how are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Okay, well thank you. I saw you at my church probably 12 years ago and you really left an impression on me, so thank you. Well, thank you. Are you at Mariner's?

How did you know? Well, you're in Irvine, so I mean I've spoken there like three times. There's no stranger over there. It's a great church. We love the place. Okay, I'm sorry. Anyway, so I mean, I've spoken there like three times. There's no stranger over there. Yeah. Yeah. It's a great church. We love the place. Okay, I'm sorry. Anyway, how can I help?

Thank you. Well, I just went through a really hellacious divorce after five years. It finally settled out, and kind of all the chips are falling. And even though I got what most people will call a decent settlement, because the cost of living is so ridiculous here, I can't afford to buy anything. So I am renting a small house, a fraction of what I used to live in, a fraction of the size, but I am paying just through the nose, and I'm paying actually more than I make. How is that possible?

For rent. Are you going into debt every month? No, I'm not right now. So you're able to float it right now, but it's unsustainable. Well, exactly, yeah. I mean, I can tell you kind of what I have in the bank and what I have coming in.

And what did you get out of the divorce? How much have you got? Okay, so we sold a house. So I, in, in a bank, in a high yield savings account right now, I have about 1.3 million from that house that is just sitting there. And I'm just trying to figure out what to do with it. I figure, okay, we'll put that, put that away in a corner. Really don't want to touch it. And then I'm getting some alimony slash spousal support, but it's only for six months and that's $15,000 a month. And it will drop drastically. I mean, I could end up with that

getting nothing. And then for my personal income, I started working after being a stay-at-home mom for 20 years. And I only bring home about a little over about $5,600 a month after tax. And what's your rent? I paid off my car. I paid off all my credit card debt from the divorce. So, you know, I don't have a lot of debt, but I'm just trying to be smart. And it just feels like, you know, like in this area it's an uphill battle. I'm a single mom.

I'm still raising kids, so I feel like I can't really move out of this area. How many kids have you got? I have three, so I have two still living with me. One is 17 and one is 14. And I'm a full-time mom. No shared custody or anything like that. Right. So there's no child support? There is child support, but it may not last. Kind of dealing with an addict and he just doesn't have a way to pay me. Okay. But he's paying you $15,000 a month right now. Yes. So that is coming out of the proceeds that he got out of the house.

And then, yeah, that will be reassessed in November. Gotcha. So you have a 17-year-old and a what? 14-year-old. Okay. I'm sorry. You've been through hell, girl. That's heartbreaking.

Yeah, it's not a good situation. So here's the thing. Here's the thing, okay? You're very wise in that even in all of your pain, you're starting to see that this math doesn't add up. Right. Okay, how much is your rent again? $8,000 a month.

And no, I am not living high on the hog. I'm living very basic. Yeah, but you're in Irvine. And you're in one of the most expensive real estate markets in the world. Yeah, it almost feels illegal. Here's the thing. I'm sorry that your husband was an addict, and I'm sorry he left his children in a lurch. But they can't live in Irvine anymore.

You don't have, you don't have the money. And so as heartbreaking as it is, the best thing you can do for them is to create a stable environment and you know, you're not in one. And so if 8,000 is the cheapest you can find there, you've got to go somewhere else,

kiddo. I'm sorry. This is the cheapest you can find there, you've got to go somewhere else, kiddo. I'm sorry. This is The Ramsey Show. you