The Ramsey Show - App - My Wife Is Grief-Spending After a Miscarriage (Hour 2)

Episode Date: July 23, 2020

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and a paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloney. Ramsey Personality is my co-host on the air today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Jordan starts us off in Pittsburgh.

Hey, Jordan, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi. Yeah, thank you so much for having me on. Sure. How can we help? Yeah, I'm just going to jump right into a little story and ask a question concerning that story. So recently my wife and I, we actually suffered a miscarriage of our twin babies around 14 weeks pregnant. Um, currently, yeah, we have, two-year-old at home as well as a dog.

And my wife, she actually wants another puppy, a golden retriever, and her birthday is coming up soon. I'm finding it hard to say no because in the wake of all the grief and sorrow, my concern would be the cost because she is a vet tech and trained our dog really well. She recently took a course through the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a financial course. And I listen to your show as I drive for Uber. So we both understand the importance of eliminating debt as soon as possible.

So my question is, you know, I love my wife very much and find it extremely hard to say no to a dog after all that has happened, especially on her birthday. But financially speaking, how does someone appropriately respond in the wake of a devastating event like a miscarriage? I think there's two approaches to that. I've sat in your exact seat and in a deep and profound way that y'all two are going to grieve this differently. And there's not a right and wrong way to grieve it. There's just a wrong way to approach it, which is that you and or her, but usually it's the guy, um, decides that his way of grieving is best. And so it's time to move on and let's get there. Let's get there quickly. And so honoring her and her

grief system. Number two, she's going to need to get somebody in her life that is a mentor of some shape, form, or fashion that has been there, that can listen, that can talk with her and not let her be alone in this situation. I think telling somebody, well, my recommendation is always nobody make any long-term decisions like buying a dog or buying a car, buying a house for six months to a year after you have some sort of loss. That was the advice I got from my counselor at the time. And that's the advice I've continued to give to folks over the years. I know that can be hard as a husband. That's usually a conversation that somebody's, that's usually a response that somebody's feeling disconnected.

And so what I'd recommend you to do is go find somebody you can talk to together and talk about loss and loneliness. And sometimes that takes the air out of the need to go spend, go buy, go replace. That's just a grieving moment that is all messed up in disconnection. Have you sat down and talked to somebody with her? Have you all talked to somebody? We both have a really strong support system,

but we haven't talked to, like, somebody specifically together. We've talked about it a lot, and then since she's been to counseling, that's kind of one of the things here in Pittsburgh that they did for her on one of her follow-up appointments. They got her hooked up with a counselor. So I recommend you all go together and have somebody, have a neutral third party that's sitting there with you that you can talk about what does coping behavior look like and what does tomorrow look like and what does trying to punt the pain down the road, which is what

buying a dog is, and really give you all some strategies and tools right now to sit in it together. So you're hearing loud and clear, Jordan, that not buying the dog is not about money. Right. It's about, it's a coping mechanism, and it allows you to not deal with what you need to go deal with is what dr john is saying okay so the two of you sit down with somebody and um you should make a decision to do long-term things like buy a dog um like um children um like um buying a house or a big investment or something, from a point of emotional health and strength.

And when anyone's been through what you guys have been through, you're not strong right now. And just say that out loud and say, because I'm not strong, I'm not making big decisions right now. And if you can get her to say that with you, then the dog thing goes away but it's not because Dave Ramsey said no you need to get out of debt not by a dog um you know your feelings be damned I mean that's not that's not the discussion you're that we're having here and so uh although

I will tell you that possibly the best dog on the planet is the golden retriever I'm gonna strongly disagree I like the basset hound but but And I think it's also important for guys out there to say out loud... Basset hound? I love me a basset hound, man. I love basset hound. It took me a minute to get that one. I couldn't even get the picture in my head.

They just look like God had some miscellaneous parts left over, and he stuck them together and was like, let's let this one go. Yeah, they're the most stubborn, obnoxious, smelly, lovely dogs. The golden is loving and kind. Yeah, I don't need that kind of love. I need somebody that just loves you when you're, you know, it's the right kind of dog. No, I just, you probably.

Basset hound. Basset hounds, man. You should get one, Dave. I never saw it coming. I never saw that one coming. Get just, you probably. Basset hound. Basset hounds, man. You should get one, Dave. I never saw it coming. I never saw that one coming. Get one, Dave. I would have guessed pug or something, but I would have seen basset hound coming. All right.

Open phones. This is our Dr. John Deloney, my co-host in crime here. Open phones. 888-825-5225. Mia is up next. And let's see. Mia is in Riverside. Hi, Mia.

Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hello. Thank you for taking my call. I have a question. I am currently in school to get my show shoes. I'm almost done. I'm worried about transferring and paying for it because currently I'm in $16,000 in debt for credit cards and a car loan, and I'm working minimum wage.

I'm just nervous about when I transfer how much it's going to cost me. You're going to transfer what? What are you transferring? Right now I'm at a community college. Oh, you're going to go and finish up your other two years at a, is that what you're saying? Yeah, at a four-year. Okay. So I'm just nervous about when,

because I'm supposed to be done by the beginning of next year. Around this time, that should be time for me to transfer, and I'll be going through that process. But I'm just worried about having to take out loans, because I know sometimes I get down in junior year. You need a different job. Minimum wage will not cut it. You need a better job. Minimum wage, minimum wage will not cut it. You need a better job. And you need to get on the horn right now, a year in advance. Schools are going to offer you transfer scholarships. Schools

are going to be desperate for students that have your credentials and your success track record in the coming months. Yes. Work hard and you'll be able to, you'll, you'll be able to figure it out. Yeah. I mean, get a job cleaning houses. You can make $25 an hour. Change your job. Don't take out a loan. Don't take out a loan. Hold on.

I'm going to send you a copy of Anthony O'Neill's book, Debt-Free Degree. we're all going through challenges and our lives have been impacted in ways we've never anticipated if we learned anything it's that change is constant and having a plan is crucial to our family's livelihood. This is why I talk about term life insurance every day. And for those of you that haven't taken care of this for your family, I'm not sure what you're waiting for. Hopefully recent events have opened your eyes and if you need some extra motivation, companies have started raising rates. So the smart move is to get this taken care of right now. For over 20 years and through all the challenging times, the only company I have recommended who gets the job done is Zander Insurance.

Their team will shop all the top companies, find the best rates for the coverage you need, and get this done quickly. Go to Zander.com or call 800-356-4282. Your timing is crucial, so please get this done. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, my co-host on the air today here on the Dave Ramsey Show. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Aaron is with us from San Antonio, visiting here in the lobby at Ramsey Solutions with a question. Hi, Aaron. How are you?

Doing well. And you, Dave? Better than I deserve, sir. How can Dr. John and I help? Long story short, about two years ago, I was a CDL driver and lost my CDL to a bad truck wreck. I went from $55,000 a year to about $15,000 a year, currently studying for my real estate exam license. Good. And I'm just wondering how to stick out in the job market in interviews and everything being mostly blue collar going to white collar. That's a fantastic question. Yeah, it is. So how long have you been out and you're circling back from 55,000 to 15,000, and now you're studying for your exams?

Yes, yes, sir. Tell me the gap there. How long? Currently I've been out for two and a half years. I was on unemployment, you know, just doing rehab, getting back into, you know, everything up. So you were injured then? Yes, I'm sorry. Well, real estate, there's not a lot of interviewing until you actually, you know,

you talk a broker into letting you park your license there. The interviewing is every time you talk to somebody about buying a house or selling a house, you're interviewing every day for the rest of your life. You know, you're selling. And they want to buy you as the person who sells their home for them or you as the person who helps them find a home. And so, you know, a good way to look at that kind of thing is just to kind of reverse it and say, who would me and my wife use? What kind of guy, you know, are we going to use? And, you know, I'm looking for someone

that I believe can sell the house, right? Or can I believe can help me find a house. And so you've got to have the confidence that you can do that. You may plug into a training program at a broker. Broker might have a training program for new agents that are coming on and start to learn some of the basic things. I sold my first home three weeks after I turned 18 years old. I passed my license a week after I turned 18, and I sold my first home to a high school buddy of mine, which is proof that he was not smart to let an 18-year-old kid sell him a house.

But I talked him into it, and still got a copy of that commission check from way back there. So it's a wonderful business to get into, but it's a people business. And it's not necessarily a white-collar, blue-collar thing as much as it is a people thing. And so you've got to enjoy people. And there's a lot of drama when you're buying a house or selling a house. Buying a house is very stressful and exciting, and it's a dream, and then it's a nightmare, and then it didn't close on time, and there's all this stuff back and forth. And so working with people through all of that, you're going to become a student of human nature.

Aaron, I don't want to read too much into this because I know you're on national radio now, and it's nervous, and there's a lobby full of people watching you. Have you fully looked in the mirror yet since you're a rec and said, I'm ready to rock and roll? There's something about you that I'm looking through this glass right now that says I'm a little bit nervous. I'm a little bit lacking in this confidence that says I can walk in and look somebody in the eye and say, I'm going to take care of you and your family. I would say, yeah, it does make me nervous. You know, I'm 33 years old. I've had a lot of different jobs.

And, you know, I did the Navy. I did heating and air conditioning, you know, the CDL. So I feel, you know, I've done fast food. So I feel like, you know, I've switched a lot in 33 years. I've never really known what I've liked. Currently, right now, I'm working in a nursery. And the happiest that I'm there is when I am helping people. So when I'm sitting there, you know, planning out what to do for their yard, teaching them about products, you know, what's going to last during the summer, what's going to last during the winter, I really like that teaching process.

It's just not paying. So I like the teaching aspect of it. So you just rattled off a list of jobs that, as you mentioned, serves other people. You know how to figure stuff out and actually do a thing you know i do for a living i sit on a radio and talk to people you can go fix somebody's air conditioner dude that's a skill and so i don't want you to get in this there's a blue collar and a white collar there's a series of there's a confidence there's a i belong to sit at a table someone's hiring me to find them a home for them and their family, and I can do that because I'm a good teacher.

You had to learn how to do all those other things. Yes. You had to learn how to drive the truck. You had to learn how to do the other things. That's what you're saying. Absolutely. You can do stuff, man. And I think you'll be able to do this.

You'll be able to do this. But here's what sometimes people feel is different. Like blue collar works hard and white collar doesn't. If you're going to win in the real estate business, you're going to hustle and grind. Just like you did, though, just like you're shifting gears, getting over the mountain. It's a different thing, but the same thing. There's still a mental discipline that says, I'm going to lean in, I'm going to push, I'm going to push, I'm going to push, and we'll get this done. And not only am I going to learn it, but then I'm going to hustle and I'm going to lean in. I'm going to push. I'm going to push. I'm going to push, and we'll get this done. And not only am I going to learn it, but then I'm going to hustle and I'm going to grind.

And what I sense from you is just a real sweet spirit and just you're a likable guy. And I think you're working with first-time homebuyers, helping them get in a home they're scared to death, and you can give them some confidence and gently, kindly walk them through rather than slamming them around, you know, like some of these agents do. I think you're going to do great. I'd want you to believe in you as much as Dave and I do. Yeah. It's just – Look at that smile.

That's what I'm talking about right there, dude. That's what I'm talking about. I want you to believe in yourself as much as we do, and, man, you're going to be able to hold somebody's hand through a nightmare process and be such a gift to them. When you get the other side of this and you look back, you're going to go, there's not that much difference between blue collar and white collar. Okay. Just in one, I'm using my brain, and I'm hustling, I'm grinding, and I'm, you know, running a calculator. And the other one, I'm actually turning a wrench.

I've done both myself. And both can be exhausting, by the way. And both are like real work. It's just a different process and a different way that you come home tired. Hey, man, thanks for coming by. Thank you. God bless you. Open phones at 888-825-5225.

Greg is in Syracuse. Hi, Greg. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, how's it going? Better than I deserve. How can we help? It's going to be another sad show, I guess. So my father passed away away on July 10th.

Oh, man. I'm so sorry, Greg. Yeah. No. So it was a month-long process, and we were kind of prepared for it. So, I mean, we'd done the grieving kind of prior and full things a little bit, but the reason why I'm calling is he was very set financially. Obviously, there's my sister and myself that are going to be receiving the benefits of that.

I've been talking to a couple different financial planners, but the reason why I'm calling your show is, so I have a mortgage and a house and a bunch of other debt. Honestly, with the inheritance, I'd rather just pay off my mortgage completely, not have to worry about paying off my house at all, ever, and then take care of

some car loans and some other stuff that I got. And there still will be some left over for savings, or not savings, but for investments. But that's just kind of, you know, if some financial player is saying I should just set it all aside in mutual funds, I'm like, well, I'm still paying. I just got the mortgage on our house in november so it's a very young mortgage so i'm so let me help you in a second okay financial planners are not there to

tell you what to do and you found one that is trying to do that so you need to fire them yep yesterday they're there to teach you and let you make decisions after they have taught you. You already know what to do with this money, and it's your money, by the way. And so that's what I would do with it. Sure. And I don't want you to jump. I know that you had a month to plan for your dad's passing. Yep.

And it feels like you've grieved it. You've done all of the things. You had the conversations. But there is some finality. Yeah. Right? And you've experienced that. I don't want you to pass over that or fly by that.

I want you to honor your old man, and I especially want you to honor your response to that. Hey, let me ask you this. To that. If you paid off all your bills, and then you were responsible on a budget going forward, does that make your dad smile? I think it would. I think he would want us to. That's the kind of guy he was, right?

Yeah. I think he would want us to use the money wisely and not just blow it. Yeah, but I mean, he wouldn't be mad about you paying off your house, right? No. Okay. Then that answers your question, dude. Fire your financial planner. This is the Dave Ramsey Show, Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality,

on the debt-free stage right here at Ramsey Solutions. Sarah and Pedro are with us. Hey, guys. How are you? Hi. We're good. Great. Good to have you guys.

And where do you live? Hanford, California. Awesome. Welcome to Nashville. And all the way here to do a debt-free scream. Yeah, we had to. I love it. How much you paid off?

$62,043. Good for you. And how long did this take? About 12 months. Good for you. And how long did this take? About 12 months. Good for you. And your range of income? We went from $105,000 to $117,000. Excellent.

What do you guys do for a living? I work for a local government. And I work for quality management for Correctional Health Care. Very cool. Very cool. What kind of debt was this $62,000? It was credit cards, a mattress purchase. We had to get a king-size bed that our little daughter sleeps in.

It's not just for her. She just overtakes our bed. And our van, and then the big one was student loans. Ah, how much was student loans? About $38,000 or $39,000. Okay, so almost $40,000 of the $62,000 then. Yeah, wow, good for you guys. So you were normal?

You had Dad on everything, even the mattress. Yeah. Unbelievable. Even the mattress. So what in the world? What happened 12 months ago? What blew you up and changed your direction? Well, we have five children, and after we were blessed with our fifth child, we were living in a 1300 square foot home. So we used to joke around that you can't swing a kid

without hitting a kid around here, right? So we could afford to move to a bigger home and we did. And we just felt we made enough money to not have to live check to check with the increased mortgage, right, with our new home. We went to a five-bedroom home, and it was much larger. Not just the increased mortgage, but, I mean, with another baby, it's like more daycare, more kid expenses and stuff like that. And so we purchased, we moved in our home in January, and the following month we were in Financial Peace University. Just like that? How did you hear about it? Through our credit union actually. Our credit union,

the manager, she puts on a she puts on a FPU class twice a year. Very cool. Very cool. So you go to the Financial Peace class the first night. What happened?

Well, actually, we took our oldest daughters with us because we were told, like, just bring the family with you and it'll be a good step. After that first class, Pedro and I just sat down and we, like, looked at all of our debt. We started looking up our online accounts. And then we realized, we never really realized before how much all of our debt. We started looking up our online accounts and then we realized, we never really realized before how much we were in debt. Never really thought about it and never was truthful to ourselves

about how much we owed. We were normal. We could afford to pay our bills every month and it was just sort of accepted that's the way it was going to be. We're just going to pay these bills every month, and that's how life will be. And I just figured, oh, I'm just going to be paying my student loan into my 50s. And I thought, like, oh, that's just fine.

That's normal, you know. You added it all up at $62,000. Did you pass out? Oh! It was jarring, yeah. It was jarring. We didn't realize how much we actually were in debt yeah i remember that first day in financial peace when they have uh all the testimonials from other people i remember thinking that's impossible how did these people do it and um

you know 12 months later here we are we did Wow. So proud of you guys. Way to go, heroes. Thank you. Excellent job. How does it feel to not have any payments but the house payment? It is. It's fun. Yeah. It really is.

It's such a... So we became debt-free in February. A few weeks later, coronavirus and the whole world shuts down. We don't really feel like we were affected too much because we were already used to not going out anywhere, not going to movies, not going out to dinner. So it wasn't really that much of a difference. You probably piled up some money since February. So like we didn't realize we were already living that quarantine lifestyle. Yes, kept swinging the kids around. Yeah, that's good. um but it's it's just really fun nice to know that every

dollar that we bring in for income other than our monthly bills like utilities and groceries and things like that um that's ours to keep and save and do whatever we want to with it so it's liberating in that in that sense you're building not digging, right? Yeah. That's so great. Makes a lot of difference. Well, congratulations, you guys. So what do you tell people now that are just now having their wake-up call? They're listening and they went, I just added up all my debt last night. Oh, my God.

Yeah. So what's the secret to getting out of debt? It is budgeting. The budgeting. How's the budget? And following the plan, your plan, the Baby Step plan exactly, we had a lot of money in our savings account before, like almost $22,000 in our savings.

And Baby Step 1 is to have only $1,000 in your savings account. So that's why we were able to pay off so much so quickly was because we had that big leap forward. Yeah. We had that discussion. Like, are we really going to do this? And I remember thinking, that's what he said to do. So that's what we do. And I remember walking into the credit union

and writing them a check for the rest of our vehicle. I remember calling the different credit cards, and they don't make it easy to close them either. No, they don't. Yeah, it took some work to find the right place and to actually get them closed, but I remember calling them all, and in the matter of a couple days, we spent $21,000 in debt. Wow. Yeah. But you saw some instant progress. Instant, yeah. You're like out of the blocks fast. Yeah. And another thing I wanted to mention was that, so we have five kids. Our oldest is 14, soon to be 15.

They're 14, 12, 7. Four. Four. And two. Sorry. It's cool. Don't leave that one out. Yeah.

And before this, we never had really thought about, we knew we would want to help the kids go to college if they wanted to. But we never really had a plan for it. We always just figured we'll cross that bridge when we get there. But with this baby step plan, we actually have like a roadmap for how we can pay for our kids to get to college. Touchdown. Yeah. I feel very confident about it now. Before, it was like hope.

Like, I hope we can do it. But now I feel like I know we will. Yeah. I love that. That's powerful, you guys. You totally took control of your life. I'm so proud of you. Thank you. Really heroes.

Very, very well done. Congratulations. So how many of the kids did you bring with you? Two. The two oldest ones that went to FPU with us. And they went to the class with you? Yeah, they attended all the classes with us. Okay, so they probably know it better than, like, me now, right?

I hope so. All right. So this is Violet and this is Penny. And they're how old? She's 14 and Penny's 12. All right. Way to go, gals. Good job.

Very, very cool. Well, we got a copy of Chris Hogan's book for you, Everyday Millionaires, and that's the next chapter in your hero story. You need to go on and be millionaires now and send those five kids to school debt-free. You are rocking it. Thank you. You're just awesome, man. Thank you.

I'm so proud of y'all. Well done. Well done. All right. Okay. Have they been practicing their debt-free scream? Yeah. Yeah. No. She said no. She's psyching me out here. All right. Okay. Have they been practicing their debt-free scream? Yeah. Yeah.

No. She said no. She's psyching me out here. All right. Here we go. $62,000 paid off in 12 months, making $105,000 to $117,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream.

Three, two, one. We're debt-free. Woo. Woo. Yeah. scream three two one we're debt free i love it oh they're changing legacy i love it five kids five kids can't swing a kid without hitting the kid i'm gonna use that line me too that's a keeper i love it but the uh i sometimes i hear well you can't do dave ramsey stuff you can't do this you know common sense doesn't work if you've got a bunch of children uh they busted it unless it's them they busted it all five kids living in california working for the government they're busting all the things you can't do it that's right you can't do any of the things they did no but they did them anyway they did them all and she's beautiful and this guy's shirt is incredible i mean they just look great they look great they look great they brought

it man this is celebration day i don't i'm just y'all have made my whole week thank y'all so much very cool very cool well done well done this you don't hear this anywhere else. You can't turn on the radio anywhere else and hear that. Nowhere else. No time. People with five kids say, forget you guys. I'm debt free. I'm changing the family tree. You can't hear anything positive out there.

We're all going to die. That's all you hear on the other shows. Not these seven. Not those guys. Not these seven. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today on the air. We've heard all the excuses from people that they use to put off making a will. Like, if I do a will, I might die.

You're going to die! We've done research. 100% of you ain't making that alive. So, in fact, our MC Solutions research team found that 74% of parents do not have a will. Guys, that's ridiculous. Can't do that. Too important. You need a will to protect your family and to keep the state from taking over and telling everything what to do, including your kids.

So stop putting it off, get it done. You can start with our free will preparation checklist. This guide helps you think through the seven important areas, like naming guardians and beneficiaries, plus all the little things you haven't thought of. Once you've gone over the checklist, setting up your actual will will only take you about 10 or 15 minutes. So get the free checklist, get the guide, by texting WILL to 33789. That's WILL to 33789.

Give your family peace of mind by getting your will done. It's just a grown-up thing to do. All right, Todd is with us. Todd's in Sacramento. Hey, Todd, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you for taking my call. Sure, what's up? So we are trying to buy some land,

and one of the process things we're thinking about was to sell our home and move into a fifth wheel. And I was trying to figure out if that might be a good idea. Who's we? Me, my wife, and four kids. And so the thought process would be is we would buy the land and put the hookups on the property, and so we would be able to live there while the house was being built. And then at conclusion of the house being built, we'd sell the trailer and truck. How long is it going to take you to build the house?

I'm assuming probably about a year. I couldn't do that. Yeah, the way I answer questions here is what would I do if I was in your shoes, and it wouldn't be that. Truthfully, this sounds like a nightmare. That's a lot of people in a little place. That's a lot of people in a trailer, a lot of people in a trailer a fifth wheel i mean you know i guess it it depends on your family maybe your family is adventurous and they think

this is fun or something my family would not think this is fun um and my wife my wife would not be on board with this i can just tell you and so and that enters into the discussion but i mean uh people do all kinds of things i've talked to a guy not long ago he bought a five thousand dollar used mobile home and for cash and uh you know took two hundred thousand from the sale of his house saved another hundred thousand and built a three hundred thousand dollar house took him three years and he lived in that little dumpy trailer for three years while he was doing that i couldn't't do that. So I can't. I'm one of these people that says,

I'm not going to ask you to do something, like Dave Ramsey said, that I wouldn't do because that's hypocritical to me. So you can do it if you want to. I won't say that you're dumb or something. I would say you wouldn't buy a brand-new one because it's going to lose, you know, half its stinking value when you drive it off the lot. No, I thought prices would be truck and trailer would be probably about $40,000 total. It's probably going to be worth $20,000 when you sell it. Yeah.

And so we would lose some, but my wife doesn't. She's the one who brought the trailer up. And I thought she was initially kind of crazy, but she's been. Your gut reaction was correct. old how old are your kids uh ten eight four and ten months yeah there's a zero percent chance this ends well for anybody this is not this is it's just real close quarters for i think i'm going to go at this another way i would rent a house spend a little money you know you're going to lose twenty thousand dollars on this hookup anyway so i would rent a house and lose my twenty thousand dollars that way um you're gonna lose your marriage and at least two of those kids

at least two of one of them's gonna hurt the other one but yeah the uh i i i mean you again you're if you pull this off and and come out of it mentally healthy and your marriage is healthy and everything, financially you're going to be okay. But if you pull this off, you would be an unusual family that pulls this off. Most people that did this would rue the day. At the end of it, they're going, God, that was awful. It sounds like one of those YouTube-ification plans where there's always a YouTube channel of somebody doing something crazy

or a Pinterest channel where somebody's created a new thing out of egg cartons and pony hair or whatever weird thing. And it's just like, well, we can do that. And you end up in a mess and nobody likes you and your neighbors want to burn your house it's just like man there's a reason why things work most of the time right yeah i you know so yeah i'm telling you i probably would not do this but it but i'm also not gonna just absolutely tell you not to do it if you choose to do it but it's unusual weird and so and the reason it is is it's a lot of people in a very close quarter and um it just doesn't sound fun i mean do this if you do decide

to do it email me at ask john at ramsey solutions.com because i'm going to have you on my show and i'm going to chronicle this with you. You'll follow him through the year. Lucy's in Oklahoma City. Hi, Lucy. How are you? Good. How are you, Dave? Better than I deserve.

What's up? First, I just want to say thank you. I listened to your show a few years back, religiously, and I paid off like maybe $34,000 in maybe about eight months or so, and I got debt-free. Well done. But I have a question. I'm purchasing a home from my sister, Cash, and it sits on about an acre, and it's only had two previous owners, a mother and a son. And I am wondering whether I should purchase title insurance.

I figured if I would just do a title search and purchase the abstracting work, I'd save about $1,500 or more. Yeah, I would buy title insurance. I won't buy a piece of property without title insurance. There's just too much crap that happens in title. And, you know, if it's a normal transaction, you're probably perfectly safe. So the land has only had two owners since when? 1700s?

I mean, the mother, I don't know, on the land, I don't know. The house is what the mother built that house. On what? In a subdivision? Yes. Yeah, and how long has the subdivision been there? Right. And who owned the subdivision before?

And did the brother that was the heir who ran off to California crazy, did he actually sign off when the guy four pieces, four deeds ago, before the subdivision was actually there, did he actually sign off on it? Or is he going to show up and want a piece of all of your lots? Right. This is why you get title insurance. Okay. Weird crap happens i bought a piece of property one time and uh four places back in the title four owners ago one brother did

not sign there were four siblings one brother did not sign he showed up wanting his money he said he i own a fourth of this property. And technically, he was correct. So what happened, the title insurance company wrote him a check because I had title insurance. And I've just owned too many pieces of real estate and seen weird, wacky stuff. I always buy title insurance. And for 99% of the people out there, I always recommend you get a home inspection when you're buying a property, even from your sister. I do want to high-five Lucy, though. She's just like somebody who follows a plan and actually does research.

She figured out what to do. It doesn't just – Get the title abstract. She knows something about it. Act like the world's happening to her. I love folks like that. Yeah, she's digging in, going, okay, I don't understand this fee. Why is this fee worth it?

It's not worth it. I can just go do the title search and pull the title. Title abstract is just the history. That's the breakdown of who owned it before, before, before. It's the begots, you know, beginning of the New Testament, right? That's right. And you go right down the title, and that's your abstract, and you can see the flow of it. And, again, 99% of the time you're okay.

And I've owned probably 2,000 pieces of property property and I've only had a title problem two or three times. So it doesn't happen very often. But boy. When it does. Man, oh man, oh man. That puts this hour of The Dave Ramsey Show. If you would like to do your debt-free scream live on the show,

make sure you visit DaveRamsey.com slash show and register. We would love for you to come to Nashville and tell Dave your story.