The Ramsey Show - App - My Wife Is Not on the Same Page (Hour 1)

Episode Date: November 3, 2023

Девочка-пай Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create amazing relationships. I'm Ramsey personality, George Campbell, joined by my good friend, Dr. John Deloney. What up, what up? That's doctor with two PhDs, in case you're wondering. And George with two lenses in his one pair of glasses. That's all you need. Sorry, I don't know what to tell you, John.

I know. How are we doing? I couldn't spend my life in academia. It just felt so grueling. Oh, yeah. You should see on the other side of it. Here you are now. When you and I have the same job.

We're both YouTubers. Joke's on you. Man, I showed you guys, didn't I? Well, this is a real treat, John. It's been a fun week pre-launching my new book, Breaking Free From Broke. I'm first time author. Pre-launching? Yeah.

You're launching? Well, it's not launched into the world yet, but you can pre-order it. There you go. That's what I was trying to say. Yes. You can triple stamp or double stamp when it comes to pre-selling this incredible book, dude. Yeah, it's been fun. The response has been awesome.

And if people are wondering, what is this about, Breaking Free from Broke? Here's the question I get. How is this different than the Total Money Makeover? Well, the Total Money Makeover has been around for decades. And I followed the principles in the book and I lay out the baby steps real quick. But this is not the baby steps rehash.

This is me unpacking the financial industrial complex that is keeping people broke. And I had every excuse and justification with a lot of empathy. And I want to talk at people, uh, with people and at people and give them the book that I wish I had when I was, you know, in my twenties and now in my thirties are going, this is what people are really dealing with. Here's how the system is designed to keep you broke. Here's how to get out. And I did it and 10 million did too. There's the social proof. I think what's helpful about this

that is going to be helpful for me and honestly helpful for me and helpful for, it's a book I can hand to my son who's 13, who's just now entering into the system, right? They're already going to start sending him credit card offers oh for sure already getting you know college stuff oh it's it's a mad it's a zoo but when total money makeover came out you had your neighbors that guy had a nicer van

you know with like the wood on the side of it and there was a guy at your church who had a thing and then you had a buddy who had a friend who was a banker that said, hey, you need to get an adjustable rate mortgage, that kind of thing. Now it's coming at us a thousand different directions all at the same time. You don't have real estate. You don't have passive income. You don't have crypto.

Oh my gosh, you're just putting money. So much FOMO. It's everywhere. And I am an old man and I can't escape it. And so we talked about it the other night. For those of you listening, I count myself pretty fortunate that I get to sit by Dave hours a week and he's somebody I call a buddy. So if I'm about to buy something or I'm thinking through something, I can just ask Dave Ramsey, which is pretty amazing. And I've also called

George Campbell on his cell phone. When Dave didn't pick up, he was like, I'll try George. Nah, Dave. Yeah, I don't call Dave when he's on the golf course. But hey, George, help me walk through this thing because I'm thinking about doing this. And if I move this over here. And so you're somebody that I trust with my family's money. And so I'm really grateful to have this book in dealing with the things that we're all dealing with all at the same time right now. It's exciting, man. I appreciate that. Yeah, I've said that the gap between financial stress and financial peace is littered with myths and traps and distractions and noise.

And I just wanted to cut through all that and tell you the truth and go in-depth and hit every objection that you've – before you can even get to it. I just wanted to get there. Yep, I hear you. Here's what the truth is about money with tons of research, with tons of humor. So I'm excited to get this book in people's hands and help them break free from broke and unchain and untether from this broken financial system and deprogram and unplug from the matrix. So if you want to check it out, you can go to ramseysolutions.com slash store and pre-order today for just 20 bucks. And we're going to bribe you with $100 in free bonus items,

including access to my newest talk, show me the money, exclusive access to an online private event and Q&A with me in January, as well as an enhanced audio book. John, we're doing a real fun produced version of the audio book and ebook. You get that all for free

on top of three months of every dollar premium for new users only. So, if that's not enough i don't know what is this when does x hit the stores it hits the streets january 16th january 16th okay we'll get the ebook to you uh a few weeks early if you pre-order as well so there it won't be there in time for christmas but it's worth getting for folks for christmas with a little printout well i was just thinking um my book building an unexpressed life that's that might be hard to buy for christmas to be like hey

uh i was thinking about what i could get you and well you're in good company john with a book called breaking free you're falling apart so here you go but this is a book that i could order and i could order 10 of them for all my cousins or all my nephews or all my grandkids and there's christmas and i could have the little card and and hand it to them and then kind of when the smoke clears from christmas they're gonna get it in the mail a couple weeks later and they'll go yeah all right when it's new year new me yeah and i think that's a i think i don't know i'm just excited for it man i think it's gonna be i actually think it's a great christmas gift that will show up right when all the smoke clears from christmas and

people are holding those credit card statements or they're in a house and their parents are banging their head against the wall, why'd we do it again, why'd we do it again, and you're 19 or 20 and you're heading back to college, this would be perfect. I appreciate that, man. That's very kind. Well, go check it out at ramsaysolutions.com slash store. I guarantee you'll love it.

If you don't, I don't know that you can get a refund. You can. You can yell at me on Twitter or whatever you guys want to do. That's fine with me. But, John, before we get to calls, in the book, I lay out a lot of the things that people that I've heard on this show when they call in and they say, but John, what about inflation and the housing market and the cost of higher education and the Fed? And did you see the guy in the White House, what he's doing? And there's all kinds of really good reasons as to why you can't get ahead and why it's someone else's problem. And there's all kinds of really good reasons as to why you can't get ahead and why

it's someone else's problem. And something I've been telling myself and other people is that it's not all your fault, but it is your responsibility. And that I feel like crosses over into your world because in your new book, Building a Non-Anxious Life, one of the choices you have to make every day is choosing reality. Right. And that comes to a point where you have to say, there's a lot of things I can't control. And the one thing I can't control is the guy in the mirror. And that means he's going to do something about it. He's not going to wait around. I get that question on my show a lot. Like, oh, I'm supposed to just sit down and tell my husband. It's like, yes. Would you know how hard that's? Yes. But do you know how hard living your life scared to come home is, right? You know how hard your life is

struggling with nutrition and exercise programs, but I get it. It's a matter of choosing your heart. So yeah, for folks like me who grew up with two parents who are freaking amazing, who love me, but who didn't have the tools and didn't have the plan were just literally doing the next right thing they were told. And I didn't have a plan. Yeah, it's hard to suddenly submit yourself to a plan that's not sexy and not shiny. It's way more fun and way more adventurous to be like, oh, okay, I got to get this in a portfolio. Bro, you have no portfolio business. You owe 40 grand, right?

Or in my case, $100,000 of student loans. You don't need to be thinking about passive income, right? So having a plan like this is so rad. And it comes down to that choose your heart, man. You can live a life where you can't breathe and your body won't let you sleep because you owe money. Or you can choose your heart and say, okay, for three years, I'm going to work four jobs. It's going to be miserable. It's going to be miserable. And on the back end, ha ha suckers, no one will own me but me. And that's where millions and millions and millions of us are right now. That's very freeing. Yeah. If you want margin, if you want options, if you want peace in your life, you want freedom with your time and

your money, you're going to have to work for it. And you're going to have to bridge that gap between financial stress and financial peace. And there's so many myths and traps along the way. So I encourage you guys to check out my new book, Breaking Free From Broke at ramseysolutions.com slash store. I hope it helps as many people as your books have, John. Well, listen, we say it all the time. Nobody's coming for you. And it's easy to go, what do you do now? This is the roadmap. Pick it up. This is the Ramsey Show. welcome back to the ramsey show i'm george camel joined by dr john deloney this is your show

america give us a call at 888-825-5225 tristan is up in cleveland ohio tristan welcome to the show hi i um recently had 319k incident loan debt forgiven whoa i have about 33 i know right i have how long did that take? I'm curious. 10 years. Okay. 10 years. Public service loan forgiveness. Cool. Good for you. So I currently have about $33,000 in personal debt. Me and my husband, we refinanced a family home we inherited for about $50,000.

And at this point, I'm thinking about us buying a new house, running out our home. Wanted to get you guys' thoughts on that. So you have this $33,000 personal debt. Any other debt? No, that's it. How much money do you guys have in the bank? About $22,000. Okay. So the question is, how quickly can we get rid of this debt and get an emergency fund saved up

before we jump into this dream of home ownership? Okay. Because that's my worry is you go into this broke. Buying a house. Yeah. Because it feels like you have $22,000, which I assume was going to be your down payment? We actually, the down payment would only be a total of like $15,000 total. And what would the mortgage be?

About $2,200 a month. And that's on a 30-year? Yes. Okay. What's your household income? Household income is about $200,000 a year. Personal is about $150,000. Awesome. You guys have a great income. So what is the urgency to jump into the house purchase right now versus waiting a year from now when we've cleared the deck, we have no debt, fully funded emergency fund, and a bigger down payment?

I have a three-year-old. He's going to be turning four soon, and we live in a really bad neighborhood. Lots of violence. Can we go rent in a better neighborhood for a year while we do this? Renting right now is going to still run you about $1,800 a month. You make $200,000. Here's how I know you can do that, because it's exactly what we did. I had a two- and a three-year-old, and we lived in a residence hall full of college students. The smells are still stuck in my nose. And we weren't ready to buy a house,

so we moved and we moved into a 900 square foot rent house. Was it fun? No. Did my wife cry? Yes. Did we end up having a real down payment for a home a year later? Absolutely. Here's my worry, Tristan,

is that if you do this right now- Oh, by the way, next year, around August, I'll get like a lump sum payment from incident that occurred. It'll be about $25,000. Awesome. Well, let's add that to the down payment. August of next year, you'll be able to put a big down payment down. I think you're itching to get out... What was that?

Get out on the $15,000 down payment option now. They're willing to take 3.5% down. Of course they're willing to. Please don't put 3.5% down on your house, please. You make too much money to be making broke people decisions. And my worry is if you continue down this path, five years from now you're still going to be broke because we never really cleaned up the mess or changed our behavior. But we could fix this really quickly.

I mean, this is a very solvable problem, making 200 grand and you have 22 to throw at the debt today. So let's say you drain that down to 1,000. Within the next two paychecks, you've paid off your debt. Maybe four paychecks after that, six paychecks, you have an emergency fund. Now we can start saving up for a down payment. With no payments in the world, how much could you save up a year? $100,000? I think we should, I'm only bringing home about $7,000 a month. Because of what? The income. It's just how much I actually bring home. I make $142,000 a year, but I'm bringing home about $7,000 a month.

Do you have investment contributions coming out? Yes, retirement and so forth. We have a 403B. Okay. I would pause that until we get this mess cleaned up, because that's going to free up a big chunk of change for you, isn't it? If you pause that contribution. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. So now we have maybe $8,000 coming in every month. Who knows? it because it's that you hear the horror story and it's not a horror story this is reality i bought a house out in the country that was completely redone from top to bottom

and it flew through the inspection and in the four years since i bought it i've had to replace the roof i've had to replace an air conditioner i've had to replace a hot water heater and i've had to do some wiring issues because it's out in the country. And so if you put $15,000 down for 3% and one thing goes wrong, you're back in the hole another 10 grand, another 20 grand. And so George and I aren't trying to be mean or ruin, dash, your hopes. You know what we're really trying to do? Give your... They do some problems in the future.

Well, we're just trying to give your baby the greatest gift a parent can give their kid, which is a home full of peace, not a home full of anxiousness. Because when you have peace, then you can hold your kid accountable and you don't lose your mind because you have no margin.

When you have peace, you and your husband get in a spat, which me and my wife do on a semi-daily basis, and we both can respond rationally, not emotionally, because I'm also, I haven't slept for two weeks because I can't breathe about the roof payment and the air conditioner payment and the hot water heaters on the fritz.

You see what I'm saying? We're trying to create peace in your home. That's the only way this country heals is house by house by house. And you make 200 grand. You have won the cosmic lottery. If you will just take 18 months and do this the right way, you will change your family tree forever. And that stress you have that is set your soul on fire i gotta get a house i gotta get a house gotta get a house your kid will never feel that because they didn't grow up with that chaos you see what i'm saying all right i gotta get out of this debt it's about hey this is about freedom and not like uh um american flag under ruse this isn't like an instagram post this is

nobody owns your home but you do you think we should sell our current home which still has about a hundred thousand left in equity you just told me you're in a crime riddled neighborhood i would sell it and go rent for a while and take whatever equity and pay off the debt get the emergency fund and use that for the down payment fund oh Yeah. Thank you guys. Jay-Z said, brush your shoulders. If I'd be out of that neighborhood, I'd go, but I'd rent a house until I can afford it. Yeah. Okay. Thank you so much. You got it. You're welcome, Tristan. Yeah. Again, I'm not beating up on Tristan. I'm looking at future Tristan 15 years from now and I'm going, they can have a paid for house. A couple of them. And be baby steps millionaires, or they could be paying on a mortgage for the next 30 years

while hanging on to debt and probably going further into other types of debt because they bought a home before they were ready, which means they don't have margin. Oh, the car transmission fell out. We got to get another car. And these aren't hypotheticals. That'll probably be the next call on the show, John. Exactly. This isn't just, well, they're just being Eeyores. We're telling you, we're here to help you guys when life happens, when you thought it was going to work out perfectly and it didn't. And we would not have jobs if everybody's plan always worked out. The fact that it rarely works

out is why we're employed, right? Absolutely. So Tristan, when you're ready to buy a home, here's an easy formula to know when you're actually ready. When you can have a mortgage payment that's no more than a quarter of your take-home pay on a 15-year fixed rate mortgage, which means it's probably going to be 30% higher than that 30-year payment. But you know what? If you do the 30-year payment before you're ready, you're going to stay broke a long time. And we found people that follow the baby steps, they end up paying off their mortgages in about seven years. And so this whole like, well, I'll just do a 30 and I'll pay it off early. Or you go 30 years and then refinance and get a HELOC on the second mortgage.

And you just keep the debt ball in the air for the rest of your life. And you call us at 65 or 70 and say, I still have a mortgage. I got all this debt. I want to retire. What do I do? The best thing to do is get a time machine and make better decisions in the past. And that's, we're here with past Tristan trying to help her make future decisions that will set her up to build wealth with less anxiousness. This is literally breaking free from broke. Thank you for that book plug, John. I'm just saying like,

this is what this is. This is somebody making 200 grand who's going to wind up broke. This is how you break free from it. There's just no excuse, and we've seen the stats. People making six figures, one out of three, paycheck to paycheck. With a six-figure income, there is no excuse in America today to be broke making that kind of money. We've got to break free. This is The Ramsey Show. We'll see you next time. This is The Ramsey Show. I'm George Campbell, joined by Dr. John Deloney.

Well, hey, you know what time of year it is? It's the annual listener survey. What time is it, George? I knew it wasn't on anyone's bingo card for me to say annual listener survey for The Ramsey Show. So here it is, guys. We want to know your favorite parts of the show, what you like, what you don't like, what you want to hear more of, more about, whatever it is, we want to hear from you. And there are two ways to participate. You can text the word survey to 33789, or you can go to ramseysolutions.com slash survey.

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That's what George's Twitter account is for. Save that. It's my private Twitter account. No one has access. So go take the Ramsey Show Annual Listener Survey. Text the word SURVEY to 33789 or go to ramseysolutions.com slash survey. All right, let's get to the phones. The number to call is 888-825-5225. Victoria's up next in Phoenix. What's going on, Victoria?

Hi, guys. Good morning. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. How can we help? We bought a car last year when the market was really bad for cars with the purpose of we plan on visiting all 50 states with our boys. And now it's like, okay, that the road trip plan sounds like fun, but we are upside down on our car. It's we owe 42,000. And if I Kelly Blue Book it right now, it's only worth privately like 30 to 32,000. Sorry to hear that. What's your household income? It's last year, we ended the year with $100,000, but we have to pay, last year we paid taxes about $13,000. This year, we're going to be making more, my fiance is going to be making more than $100,000, but we're guessing for taxes, we're going to have

to, we have right now aside $10,000, aside from our $10,000 savings, but we're guessing it's going to be somewhere around $15,000, $16,000. Okay. Is he self-employed or contract work? Yeah, he's self-employed. So we see our full check every week. It varies between $2,300 to $2,900, but again, we have to put aside for taxes. Okay. What other debt do you have? Just the car in our house. Our house is at $135,000.

Okay. We're in a 15-year house. Why are you calling about the car? Are you all trying to get rid of it? Are you just frustrated by it? I just don't know if, like, I'm just trying to see like is it a good idea that we have this car for this purpose or no i think it was a terrible purchase but you've already made it so it's like if you if you bought a house and you're in it now we're not always going to tell

you go sell the house go sell the house and so that that's the case with this car it's a lot of your world and a lot of your income but it's not violating the principles outside of you going into debt for it so it's kind of like if you bought a share of a stock of a company and you bought it at the height and now the stock took a dip. Well, you didn't actually lose money until you sell that stock. So the same thing is true with this car. You can just ride this out, drive this thing till the wheels fall off, pay it off as fast as possible, and go,

that was a stupid mistake, we're not going to do that again. Okay, that's what we were aiming towards. I just wanted to get like a professional opinion, like, okay, what should we do? I didn't, I had listened to their videos on YouTube and some of the videos were like, Hey, use that saving, um, you know, pay the difference of whatever. You could do that. Do you guys have $10,000? Um have the $10,000 savings, but that's just like our emergency fund. I really wouldn't want to be left with zero, and then if something happens, my fiancé is the only one that works to be stuck in a really tight spot. Well, what we teach here is the baby steps. And so baby step two is pay off all consumer debt using the debt snowball.

Then baby step three is to get the emergency fund in place. So you're already out of order here. So if you wanted to take that $10,000 and get out of this car, you'd need a little bit more money than that to get a different car, of course. But at this point, you may be better off just paying that thing off as fast as possible, making six figures. How quickly could you pay off $42,000? If we, I think if we stuck to to it i think we could do it in like

in a year that's what i'm talking about and you'll have what i would call a knucklehead tax and that is the gap between what you're upside down because you bought a car at the height of the market because you thought you would joyride america and it didn't work out so you have to be like that was dumb like that cost us 12 grand in depreciation. But all right, we won't do that ever, ever, ever again. But that also means sacrifices. Like maybe we're not traveling the country this year because that's going to cost a lot of money.

We may have to hang on to that dream. Okay, could I add another question to this? Sure. So he's been working at, so he's self-employed and he's a barber and roughly every hour he makes like 60 an hour and his um manager he's been working with for about six years now they want to open up another shop and he wants to open up another shop and wants to have my fiance as half owner okay um so obviously now he would keep a higher percentage and he'd be making more per hour. He'd keep all his cuts. But should we pay off this car first or save up the $50,000 first

that we would need to put in to make this barbershop to get it going? You are broke. Okay. You're not in a position to buy into a business right now okay does that make sense like i it sounds like an awesome deal probably great your husband probably crushes if he's making 60 bucks an hour that's that's george camel haircut kind of 100 i don't spend that much i'm geez that's amazing but like he must be really good at what he does and i bet any person who wants to open a shop wants to open a shop with a guy who's that good and who works that hard. And y'all are broke. Okay.

Fair? Build a car first. Nope, fair enough. So here's the thing. You've got to make a decision now. Is this dream about starting this business more important than having a nice car? Because if that's the case, you could drive a beater, use your 10K, cover the difference on the loan, sell this thing, drive a beater car, then save up an emergency fund, then save up 50K on top of that to get this business going.

That's a sacrifice, but we can't have our cake and eat it too. We're going to have to do things one at a time with focused intensity. Because trying to do everything at once is only going to slow you guys down in the long run. Yeah, that's what it feels like right now. But I want this. Hey, have him tell that guy, I can do this deal 18 months from now. I'm going to be in a really good spot to do this deal. But until then, I can't do it. Okay. I think that's enough time. The plaza that they want to open in, it's not even set to be running until fall of 2025. So here's what George and I want you and your husband to do. I want y'all to sit down and stop talking so much, and I want you to get out a pen or an Excel sheet, and I want you to put this plan to paper.

Here's how much money we make. Honey, you're going to have to cut hair for a year on Sundays too. You're going to have to work late. You're going to have to do until 10 o'clock at night cuts. And, honey, I'm going to actually get a part-time job also for just 12 months. And I know we had this dream that we were going to, like, I was always going to be with the kids, but for this particular season, we're going to work like maniacs to get out of this thing. But I want y'all to look at real numbers on a real piece of

paper and y'all get a plan and y'all swear by it. And then y'all go get married and y'all get a plan and y'all swear by it and then y'all go get married and y'all do this thing together fair super fair okay very cool okay sounds like a plan thank you guys all right hey george this is one of those this is one of the unforeseen things we talk about all the time when we talk about choosing freedom talk about having having margin. It's rare. I'm not going to lie. It's rare. But if you are really good at what you do and you work really hard, this crazy thing called opportunity shows up. Sometimes you plan for it. Sometimes it drops out of the moon. And imagine they hadn't bought this car because let's go take the boys on every state. What if they just had a beater car

and then the guy comes to them and says, hey, $50,000 buy-in. You're going to be a co-owner of this place. You're amazing at what you do and we're about to make you really wealthy. And now they can't do it because of past decisions because they chained themselves

to a depreciating asset. Don't owe anybody money. Margin and freedom. Margin, freedom, and options, baby That's what this plan's all about You gotta do what it takes, though Never knowing that call's coming This is The Ramsey Show.

I'm Ramsey personality, George Campbell, joined by my good friend and colleague, Dr. John Deloney. Hey, if you're a new listener to the show and you want to dive deeper into the lingo, into the Ramsey baby steps that we talk about, you can go to RamseySolutions.com and click on the Get Started button. And we'll help you figure out the next best step for your situation, for your financial journey based on where you're at today. That's RamseySolutions.com slash get started. Hey, big news. Mint is shutting down. Yes, I saw this news. This is wild.

The financial app, one of the competitors to every dollar, if you will, is shutting down, which is 4 million people suddenly finding themselves without a budgeting app. And lucky for them, we have the greatest budgeting app on planet earth every dollar ready for you here's what that means for all of you who feel financially homeless because you were using mint and now it's shut down and you're like what do i do the good news is uh there's an even better place you can go because truthfully mint wasn't a great financial app for budgeting. All it did is shows you what happened. Every dollar shows you how to plan for what's coming up, which is how you actually break free from broke and find margin. So if you want to

start budgeting for free, you can download EveryDollar in your app store and go to everydollar.com and get started. And we have a great onboarding process that makes it super easy. And in fact, John, I'm doing a webinar for EveryDollar next Friday, that is November the 10th, around lunchtime, walking people through how to set up your first EveryDollar budget, how to use it to find margin, because that's the exciting part. We don't budget just because we want to nerd out. We do it so that we can hit financial goals. And so that's a huge part of it. And we're going to show you exactly how to do that in this webinar next Friday. So you can go to everydollar.com slash budgeting to sign up for that free webinar. I encourage you. We get thousands and thousands of people sign up for those and the feedback has been

awesome because rarely do we get an hour to really walk through the visuals of here's what to do, answering your questions and giving you some hope for your money. It's you coach people. And hey, I want to say this, the sign of a truly mature person, a truly grown up person is being able to say, I don't know how I need some help. I need some coaching help. I have had a mental health conversations with people in my family and myself where I've had to go, I had all those classes and I need to get some different perspective. If you're sitting there wondering, can I say the words out loud? I don't really know how to budget. Or I get the idea of budgeting is so stupid and so easy and yet I never have been able to figure it out. Be a grown up, be an adult, be somebody who is humble and says, for the sake of my family

and the sake of me, I'm going to put my pride down and I'm going to show up to one of these webinars and learn how to budget. You can log in as anonymous. Log in. Let George be your coach and do this. And for those of you who are sick and tired of texting your spouse back and forth, did you spend $31.14 at whatever? I thought you would. Get the EveryDollar app. And if you've got friends who are on Mint who are like, oh, my gosh, send it to them. Send this stuff to them.

Those are your friends, and they may not even consume the show. They may not listen to anything. They may not know anything about EveryDollar. Send it to them. Is it three months for free? Oh, yeah. Three months for free? yeah for free yeah you can start a free trial as well yeah do it do it do it do it do it this is one of those moments man

when you can help millions of people just by hitting forward text easy and here's the best news unlike mint we don't sell your data and shove credit cards and loans down your throat which is by the way their entire business model how do you think mint is making money and so uh i'm happy. I'm actually elated that Mint is shutting down for a lot of reasons, but one is that it wasn't actually helping people. It was just real slick fintech that, you know, people, everyone used it. Guess where they're pushing people, John?

Credit Karma. Aw. And you get what's coming to you when you sign up for Credit Karma, the tractor's stupid credit score. That's the name of the company, Credit Karma. Wish I was in that marketing meeting to tell them, this maybe is not a great name, but hey, I don't run things. Got a great idea for my new restaurant.

It's called Diarrhea's. We welcome all of you soon-to-be financially homeless folks from Mint over to the warmth of every dollar. We got stew on the stove. We got cookies baking in the oven. We're ready for you, John, with open arms. Some of the Mama Camel's baklava. Hey, don't tease me with a good time.

Okay, you made that weird. Kelly Daniel knows. She's had my mom's baklava. It's world class. All right, let's go out to Lane in Dallas. Lane is in Dallasallas texas if he's still i'm sorry lane how you doing pretty good how are you all today good are you still are you still glowing about your rangers uh i mean yeah i'm not going to the parade i'm i'm working

trying to get that extra overtime in hey good for you as anros fan, I don't think you need to go, but that's another conversation. So what's up? So me and my wife, we've been currently trying to work on building our budget, trying to get out of all of our debt. And then we kind of had this conversation last night when we were looking at the Excel file. And I'm sitting here trying to plan out like to an extent, roughly like every paycheck, like this is what we need to meet this goal. And she has real bad anxiety and like, she just doesn't want to deal with any of that, but she wants me just to be like, Hey, here's this amount. This is what we can spend on this and just let her go with that i have i'm sure it exists out there and people feel free to put it in the comments i have never heard a successful marriage conversation about money that begins with

one person saying hey honey want to see the Excel spreadsheet? Ba-ding! And have the other person be like, oh, sweet, this is going to be awesome. I've never seen that. No, we were just sitting about talking about, like, our finances because today was payday for us, so we were talking about, like, and then we were talking about, like, what needs to go where, and then we pulled out the spreadsheet because we've been trying to go through all this baby step goals and we just now recently got the thousand dollars in savings so we were trying to look at the debt and so how much debt do you have

working towards that so we have about 82 000. Okay. And what kind of debt is it? So I have $42,000 in student loans. That's all me. I have $17,000 on my car. We have a $7,000 personal loan, about $3,000 in medical for our son that was just born in May. Okay. And about $14,000 in credit cards. Oh. How much do you make, man? Together, we bring home about $7,000 a month.

Okay. Well, step one, we need to increase our income and also decrease expenses. And the compound effect of that will give you margin to throw extra on top of your debt. So here's what I want you to do. Let's skip the spreadsheet. I'm going to gift your expenses list out all of your debts separately as minimum payments and that's going to show you how much money you either have left over to throw at the debt or you might be in the red and you might need to find some income or cut some expenses but the good news is every dollar is just a mirror it's not the boogeyman it's just reality which can feel like the boogeyman but once she faces that and now you go all, all right, here's the gap. If we could find $400 a month, we could pay off our debt this much faster, which gets us to this goal even faster.

That will start to get her excited versus a spreadsheet. We've got to start painting a picture of what the future is going to look like, and the budget just becomes our daily GPS to get there. Anybody who's sitting with somebody who um they start to do a budget and they just get super anxious that's me we had money challenges growing up and so my body put a little gps pin and conversations about money because they were always stressful they were always loud they were always scary and then as an adult when my wife and i found ourselves up to our eyeballs in debt my body started sounding that alarm that alarm. It's been to that place before, and here we go again.

So if your wife is feeling anxious, instead of trying to solve that with a spreadsheet, I would close the computer and hold both of her hands and say, hey, your body's trying to get your attention about something, telling you that you're not safe. What are you scared about? And maybe she's going to say, hey, when I was a kid, money was really scary around the house, and it just remembers. Or maybe she's looking at all

this debt and how much money you do or don't have in this little baby that's brand new and just saying, I don't know how all this works. And that's where the baby step plan, getting a plan often helps with that anxiety. Hang on the line, Lane. We're going to send you three months of every dollar premium, two features specifically. I want you to check out Paycheck Planning so that you know exactly when and if you're going to run out of money, and then financial roadmap, where you guys get to start to dream together and see what the future looks like if you follow this plan with Gazelle Intensity. This is The Ramsey Show. I'll see you next time.