The Ramsey Show - App - My Wife Spent $50K on Credit Cards Behind My Back (Hour 1)

Episode Date: July 24, 2023

Dave Ramsey & Jade Warshaw answer your questions and discuss:  "My wife spent $50,000 on credit cards without telling me", from the blog: Overcoming Financial Infidelity, "It feels like debt is my only option to get a car", from the blog: How to Buy a Used Car Right Now, "Am I morally obligated to pay for my kid's education or should they?" "Do I have to cut up my final credit card even if I don't use it?" Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Here's an EveryDollar deal just for our listeners: get a 14-day free trial PLUS $15 off your first year of premium. Click the link and start budgeting today! www.everydollar.com/jade Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3cEP4n6 Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Interested in advertising on The Ramsey Show? https://ter.li/s64ye3 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Pods Moving and Storage Studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. It's a show about your life and your money. Jade Warshaw-Ramsey, personality, is my co-host today. As we answer your questions about life and money, open phones at 888-825-5225.

That's 888-825-5225. CJ is starting off this hour in Chicago. Hi, CJ, How are you? Hi. Thanks for taking my call, guys. Sure. What's up? So I'm 38 years old. My wife's 34. Our take-home income is about $120,000 a year. And I've been, well, we've been working on paying off $57,000 in debt for the last six months or so. And my wife, she's six months pregnant.

So I've just been kind of saving money since we found out. And come to find out, she racked up $50,000 in credit card debt that I wasn't aware of. And I'm terrified and I don't know what to do. In the last six months? No, this has actually been going on for longer than that. I think it got worse since she became pregnant, buying baby stuff, and I don't know what all was going through her head. But, yeah, I'm scared. Okay, let me make sure I get the entire picture, okay? She knew, and you two were having conversations,

that you're trying to pay off $57,000 in debt. Yes. And you're watching to do that. Meantime, she's buying things, and so she was lying to you. Yeah, by not telling me she was lying. Yeah. Wow. Purposefully hiding it. That's like deception. Correct. Yeah. Terrified's probably not the right word to describe your emotions. Yeah, that's accurate. When you confronted her, what happened? She immediately came clean and started crying. I mean, she feels bad about it. She knows she was in the wrong. I told her that I can forgive her if she takes the right steps to clean this up with me.

And, I mean, with her being about to have a baby in a few months, I told her I will work as much overtime as I can. Luckily, it's available to me. Did she tell you about it or you found out about it and confronted her? Because that's a key thing here. Yeah, confronted her. How did you find it? I had someone call me wanting us to refinance our mortgage,

and they were going through our credit report. And when he told me how much debt we had, I told him he was wrong because it was $50,000 more than what I thought we had. And then he went through and told me what it was, and that's when I confronted her, and she came clean. All right. than what I thought we had. And then he went through and told me what it was, and that's when I confronted her, and she came clean. All right. So let me back out. Let me pan out just a minute here, okay?

And then we'll get to what to do tactically with the money stuff in a little while. Okay. Having done what I do for 30-plus years, what we've discovered is that this is, first and foremost, a breach of trust. Right. The money is secondary. The primary thing, and that's why people in my world call this financial infidelity, because it's a deep breach of trust. Sexual infidelity's a deep breach of trust sexual infidelity is a deep breach of trust and truthfully for most people this activates the same part in your brain or in your soul that sexual infidelity activates because it's first it's not sex as much as it is a deep breach of trust right right and so

uh i'm telling you all that and i'm making a big deal about it not to get her in trouble but uh i'm going to strongly suggest you guys see a marriage counselor right i think it's probably gonna happen Because your wife systematically lied to you for an extended period of time, and she needs to get that really deep inside of her. She's been a liar, a deceiver for an extended period of time, and what that does to your relationship and what that does to your trust of her. This is not I bought something at Target and forgot to tell you. Right. This is a way different thing. target and forgot to tell you right this is a this is a way

different thing hey can i ask you a question fifty thousand dollars is a lot um of money which means there's a lot of items was she can i just ask was she bringing home things and you're like hey where did you get this and she's lying oh it was a gift did you notice things coming into the house can you tell me a little bit how are you so unplugged that 50 grand worth of stuff shows up and you don't realize it? Yeah. Well, it's 100%. I mean, I take full responsibility for not noticing sooner. Yes, she was buying, you know, baby stuff, but no, like, big-ticket items that really

self any alarms. But I think she was using it. It just became a crutch for she was using it for everyday items groceries she's wanted for anything she wanted that was not in the budget the two of you had agreed to yeah yes yeah so yeah you guys got some relational work to do first and foremost okay and the way a henry cloud's got a new book coming out on trust. If it's out already, you need to go get it, and both of you read it, because you are on track.

The way you repair trust is first there is an admission of how big a deal the trust being broken is by her and by you. To be honest with you, the language you're using is a little bit soft peddling it you're not owning all of your emotions in other words i'm scared it's not like i'm really so pissed off i can't breathe that's different than i'm scared yeah i don't think it's fully hit me yeah like i said i just found out three days ago okay well i'm glad you're being nice about it and behaving i don't want you to do something crazy or i mean that but uh and i don't think this is the end of your marriage it shouldn't be but she has to own the fact that she has lied to her husband for an extended period of time

that's a big deal and then once she does that, then you say, okay, we're going to put in place some systems and some communication processes with the guidance of our marriage counselor to rebuild the trust. Okay. And that is going to be that we talk a lot about this. We talk a lot about our budget. We talk a lot about where every dollar is going. We talk about there's, you know, and you're going to start pulling the credit bureau report once a month. And, you know,

we're going to work through this and pay it off together. I don't mind paying off the 50 grand, but you've got to have assurance deep in your soul that this is not going to happen or something like this isn't going to happen again. Yeah. i'm wondering if something set that off or was this a behavior that you know that she's always just been prone to overspending you know or is this something that's like i'm freaking out because i'm having a baby you know what there's not really an excuse there's there's not this is lying i mean it's just i don't having a lot of people have babies sure't, having a, lots of people have babies and don't lie. Happens all the time. Lots of people have husbands that are too tight on the budget. That's right. Or wives that are too tight on the budget, and they still don't have to lie.

That's true. They just stand up to the control freak and go, uh-uh. That's true. We need a little more stuff for the baby. Put it in the budget, bubba. Instead, sneaking off and running up 50 grand is not okay. So you guys got to work through the relational part of this, and the money stuff you'll clean up pretty quick. This is The Ramsey Show. Jade Walsh, all Ramsey personality is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225.

You jump in. Hey, before we jump back to the calls, let's go back to that subject where a spouse has lied to their spouse over an extended period of time about a large amount of money. Yeah. Okay. There's lots of possibilities of things that go on there. And so if you're out there listening and you're struggling with that, let me tell you, the longer it goes on, the bigger the blow up when it comes out. So if you happen to tune in today, you need to go in. Trust will be rebuilt faster if you admit it rather than being discovered.

Yes. Number one. So that starts the process. And then you need to figure out what it was that caused you to want to hide. Now, what can happen is, and I've seen this a lot, is it can be, this wasn't the case with that guy or his wife. But what can happen is, is one spouse is doing the bills. The other spouse is just rocking along.

Yeah. Has no idea what's going on. And the spouse doing the bills can't figure it out it's out of control and in order to keep up the lifestyle that the other spouse that knows nothing yes is going on they as a shame based thing prop up the lifestyle with debt yeah and unbeknownst to the spouse. So they're propping up the family lifestyle. Another thing that can happen is that causes this kind of deception. Most of the time, these people are not just liars.

Yes, you're right. They result in becoming liars, but they're not like I get the opportunity to, with malice, screw up my life by lying. That's not usually what's going on in their head so it can be shame based on that regard another thing that can happen is they start that you have a spouse that is a control freak that's too tight on the budget and their way of rebelling is to say well screw you right i'm just going to go over and get some stuff. Like, you don't give us enough for food, so I'm going to buy some food. Yeah.

I'm taking matters into my own hands. I can ring this up on a credit card, and that way they're trying to pull back some control into their own hands. Yeah, because the relationship isn't healthy. Right. Meaning there's no give and take. Both votes don't count at the budget committee meeting. So when you're having a budget committee meeting, votes count both of you get a say and you know and in case of a tie you got to figure it

out that's right and so uh you're not you know yes i want to get out of debt really fast yes we're gonna sell in tents but no a hundred dollars a month for a family of six is not enough for food hello okay i mean really well then there's the scary side of it, Dave, where if there's a spouse that's pulled out their own credit card and they're spending, there could be something even more ominous at play, whether it's an affair or some sort of addiction problem. Exactly. That's the third one is they're hiding some other misbehavior with the financial. So it's not unusual at all. is they're hiding some other misbehavior with the financial. So it's not unusual at all. I mean, because the thing we used to laugh about, it's not funny,

but a guy's having an affair, and he's covering all of that with a credit card over here hidden on the side because you can't really put side honey in the budget. Right. It's not a line item. You can't have a line item for side chick. It's not a line item in the budget we're going to agree to, right? Right. So that's what you to agree to right right so uh that that you know that's what you got to figure out so that ain't you know that doesn't play either

but there's there's so deception is deception is deception and it can be that there's something else going on well the question is okay so we know dave um in the case of gambling in the case of addiction even some of those other things, those would be the times where you can put limitations on how you're combining your money. Exactly. Now, at what point, because the call we took earlier, there was $50,000 being spent. That's a lot of money. At what point would you say, okay, maybe it's not addiction, maybe it's not something like that, but my spouse is just gone off the rails. At what point would you say, okay, there might be a separation of finance that has to go into it? There's a separation of finance until trust can be rebuilt.

If trust can never be rebuilt, that means the marriage is gone. Yeah, I agree. I agree with you. I mean, if you're dealing with someone who's recovering from an addiction, it wouldn't be unusual at all for them to have zero access to the money for a period of time and full communication and openness yeah because that's part of recovering from the addiction is cutting off the supply of money to do the addiction and so and continue to destroy the family in the process so and violation of that money thing is also an indication you're back in the stuff you're back in the addiction okay you are you falling off the wagon so uh folks that we don't do addiction counseling here but

folks that do it we work with a lot and they tell us all the time there's always a money tie yeah always a money tie you cannot be an addict 100 of addicts eventually have financial trouble well yeah because something is funding this well something yeah something's out of control and it's always going to show up in the checkbook and so that's what's going on so there can be that there can be just it could just be simple shame yeah but whatever it is on your end if you're the one that's doing the deceiving a hundred percent of this stuff is discovered eventually. It is? It's going to come out.

That's why it's so much better to just put it out there. Look, it's so much, if you're on the negative side of this, the receiving end of it, I would feel so much better if someone came to me and said, here, look, I made a mistake, here's what I did, as opposed to me randomly finding out about it and having to come to you and go, here's what I found out, right? There's a teensy bit more grace when that person comes to you. Yeah, well, and it's easier to begin to trust again because that's a first indication of owning it.

Well, yeah, there's got to be some remorse there in order for them to have done that. Yeah, right. Exactly. Justin is with us. Justin's in Columbia, Tennessee. Hi, Justin. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave.

Hi, Jayden. How are you doing today? Great. How can we help? So I'm calling because I'm honestly a little scared. Try not to get stupid after scared. My wife and I wrapped up Baby Step 2 right before we moved a couple months ago. Our second car was in an accident. We bought a hoopty with the insurance money.

That car just failed on us. And our one working vehicle is needing some repairs. And we're struggling with needing a second car and everything. And I'm feeling like I'm being moved towards a personal loan, and I don't want to go that route. Good. Okay. So what's your household income? We're about $45,000.

Okay. And you have how much money in savings? About $300,000. We depleted most of the emergency fund right after we moved with a couple things that needed to be done on our primary vehicle. Okay. All right. So the primary vehicle needs more repairs? Mostly small things right now, but we don't want to let those go and have them become

big things. Absolutely. I want to let them go. You're broke. Okay. That adds to the drama. When you escalate those little things to make them big things, you're adding to your drama, okay?

And so you drive one vehicle for a little while, and you work three jobs, and you pile up some money, and you go buy you another hoopty for $4,000. All right, yeah, we're both working, so thankfully it's at the same place, and they're working with us on the scheduling and getting back and forth in one vehicle. This is a time you're going to look back and say, that time in our life sucked. Okay.

But you're going to make it suck more if you go back in debt. Now, Justin, you're both working two jobs, and the outcome is $45,000? You're both working two jobs and the outcome is $45,000? You're both working? We're both working at Chick-fil-A currently because they were willing to work with both of us for scheduling. I was self-employed pre-COVID, trying to work on building that back up. I was a subcontractor for on-site IT. I was traveling out a couple hundred miles a day sometimes. You know how to do IT work, and you're working at Chick-fil-A?

I'm working on catching up on some of my certifications so I can actually get into more competitive positions. In the meantime, you know how to do stuff 90% of the public doesn't know how to do. Yes. That pays more than Chick-fil-A pays. Without the certifications, as a subcontractor, most of the companies are paying equivalent and making me wait a lot longer for the money.

The equivalent to Chick-fil-A? Yes. Okay. Well, I want you doing a whole bunch of that side work also, and I want you to get your butt in gear and get your income up. Because I think Jade put her finger right on it. You guys aren't making any money. I'm not mad at Chick-fil-A.

They're wonderful. They're great. But that's not supposed to be your career job. That's Jesus. Not when you know IT? Yeah, unless you own the place, it's Jesus chicken part-time job, dude. I mean, if you're not one of the owners, that's the deal. And it's a wonderful place to have a little part-time job if you're not one of the owners yeah that's the deal and it's a wonderful

place to have a little part-time job if you're a teenager right but not feeding the family with a broken car no i t i t i t i t i t get it get it get it jade washaw ramsey personality is my co-host today open phones at 888-825-5225 today's questions brought to you by neighborly your hub for home services here at ramsey we believe in making home ownership a blessing and not a burden. So we recommend Neighborly's network of service professionals to repair, maintain, improve your home. This is a great company. Find the help you need at Neighborly.com today. All right. Today's question comes from Thomas in Nevada. He says, I hear you talk about pay for your kids' college or higher education. Why is this a requirement? I'm not trying to pass off responsibility.

I went through college and paid my way through. My parents were capable of helping me pay for college, but they went through college on their own and said they learned a lot from budgeting and needing to control their spending in order to pay for school. I plan on helping them start out with books and rent, but not planning to fund their higher education decisions.

Is this a mental change that I need to make or are there different amounts that I can help? You know, this is an interesting question and it comes up a lot. Baby step five, if you're listening and you're not sure about the baby steps, baby step five is there to set aside money for kids college, whether it's a 529, an ESA, it comes after investing 15% and it comes before paying off your home. So it's important to know where that sits in this whole equation. And you know, Dave, we've never said, you know, we give some percentages and some guidelines for some of the other steps. But for this one, we don't say and, you know,

you put 10% for college or you do $700 a month. We don't tell you exactly how much to put because there is a little bit of a discussion that goes into this. And I think that's the first place I want to start. You need to be having a discussion with your kids regardless, whether you plan on having a full fund set up for them, whether you plan on matching them dollar for dollar, or whether you're like, hey, I don't plan on contributing anything, which I will say I have questions about that. But the key is you do need to have those conversations and you need to have them early because as their parent, it is up to you to help them understand what that process is. It is up to you to make sure that they're making a good plan, a plan that they can actually follow through with without debt. I don't think it's a good idea to just leave them out here flapping in the breeze and hope for the best. And kind of going back to my first thought, Dave, you know, and this is just coming from Jade

talking. I can't imagine not wanting to help them in some way with college. They're my kids. So I might not, depending on financial situations, I might not be able to afford for them to go to Harvard, right, or afford for them to go to even the nicest state school in the area. But I want to help them financially in some way.

And I do think that that should be a goal even if you say okay yeah we're gonna match you dollar for dollar I want you working and then we're gonna put this much in I do think that there should be a little help there simply because I mean I'm like I'm your parent I want to help you out but it paying for college is not a requirement it's not a requirement he said requirement and it's not a requirement it He said requirement, and it's not a requirement. It's not a moral thing. You're not an immoral parent if you don't pay for college. I've often told single moms making $25,000 that, you know, we need to teach that kid how to get scholarships. Yes.

And how to work and how to pick a cheap school because they should just rise up. If that's you, if you're a single mom making $25,000, your kid, you're not a bad mom because you didn't pay for their college. They should just rise up and call you blessed simply for feeding their little butts, okay? So really, I mean, in that situation, that's a big deal. Now, in his case, he's able to pay, and then you can start asking the question. So the way I want to ask the question is this is not what is a requirement or what is immoral or ethical. It's more back to what you were saying is, okay, my job, my moral requirement as a parent is to give you the tools you need to succeed in this world. That's right. Brush your teeth so in this world. That's right.

Brush your teeth so you have some. That's a good tool to have, okay? Yeah. Tell the truth. And, you know, admitting you lied, eh, little less punishment, but still lots of punishment because liars don't, crooks don't succeed in this world. My job is to grow you into an adult that will help you win. Part of becoming successful as an adult is to engage in a lifetime of learning. That's right.

Never stop learning. If the last time you read a book was you were a senior in high school and you've never done any other training of any kind since high school you're probably not succeeding big time oh no well so and so dave thomas started wendy's and he was just a high school graduate yes but dave thomas didn't start and run wendy's only on a high school education he was self-taught he read he learned he grew he was a you know he was ever he was a lifetime learner even though he didn't have the degrees or letters or licenses after his name but but you know did he build something the size of wendy's on the back of only a high school no he did not a hundred percent no have i built Ramsey Solutions based on a four-year degree and the level of knowledge I got then?

Absolutely not. If I stopped learning in 1982 when I graduated, Ramsey wouldn't be here. Right, absolutely. So a lifetime of learning is your job to instill in them you're going to be a reader because readers are readers you're going to be engaged in some kind of learning now then can i encourage that with some level of help minimum as you said don't leave them flapping in the breeze show them how to do it yes minimum show them how to do it it is your job to show them how to do it yeah if you don't want to pay for it fine but it's your job to show them how to do it don't expect a 17 year old to figure

this out thank you dave they don't have the equipment okay your job is to go okay here's where scholarships come from here's where work comes from teach them to work teach them to save teach them to budget yeah i'm for all of that like i've got a friend that was a professional football player made bazillion dollars refused to pay his dad blue collar refused to pay for his college this guy refused to pay for a dime of his kids college but he showed him exactly how to go do it in detail. So he upheld that part of it. In my case, I showed him exactly how to do it, and I paid for it. That's great.

Because I believe the power of knowledge, not of degrees. Degrees don't have any power. Knowledge is the currency. Yeah. And I believe in that, and we paid for our kids' college. The other reason we paid for it is that way we could control it and help them navigate that process go to a school you can afford behave while you're at the school you can afford and i'm holding a wallet over the top of your head making you do that and so you're

going to behave or you we're going to cut this off and they've got to understand that debt is not an option because that's the thing if you if you if you cut off the money spigot and say it's up to you it's up to you they've got to understand the implication of debt because my coming in my parents told me all of us all four of us early on you better be smart or you better be good at sports because we're not paying yeah and i'm like okay smart got it got the scholarship athletic scholarship as well but I still didn't understand the implication of debt yep and so I still I still took out some so no debt pick a degree that that you can actually make some money with yeah and go to a school

that's the least expensive and work your butt off while you're in school I worked 40 to 60 hours a week while I was in college and i didn't die from it i didn't die from it nobody paying for mine you probably became a better student because of it dave yeah not really well i think they say part-time is where you yeah i mean all i did was work and you know and and but and anyway it just it wasn't it wasn't healthy but but uh uh you know i think i had 3200 in student loans or something when I came out. But that was a whole other world. Different time.

If I told you what the tuition was, you all would all laugh. But anyway, how the heck I got $3,200 in debt with that low of a tuition, I don't even know. I kind of want to know what it was now, Dave. It's impossible. Impossible. But the point is, you do not have a moral imperative to pay for your kid's college. You do have a moral imperative to highlight the importance of knowledge and show them how to get it. And if you want to help them get it, that's okay, too.

But save up and pay for it. And getting it is not using debt to get it. So really good discussion, Jade. Love it. Really good. This is The ramsey show jade washall ramsey personality is my co-host today open phones at 888-825-5225 genie's with us in new jersey hi genie how are you hi dave and jade how are you better than we deserve what's up um i need i just need a little bit of encouragement and some clarification on something I heard you say a couple of days ago or weeks ago.

I can't remember. I am, baby said three, I am struggling with getting rid of that last credit card because I want to buy a house next year. And I do want to do the manual underwriting but you mentioned something about um you're like having a credit card is more even if you're not using it is more damaging than not having it I want my score to be indeterminable but can that happen if I have a credit card still open on it no it cannot just tell me to cut it up no cut it up you you cannot it cannot be indetermin be indeterminable while you have open credit accounts. Anything? Even if there's zero balances. Anything.

Everything has to be completely closed and zero balance. Okay. As long as it's open, it's still reporting, even if it's reporting a zero balance. Okay. I'm already in touch with churchill so we're going through stuff but they i couldn't understand what you had you explained it before the other day and i just wanted some yeah that's the damage is is that what you end up with when you have one credit card open and a zero balance and no other credit accounts of any kind you're going to end up with a low credit score because you have almost no credit.

That's what it amounts to. Even though it's not bad, it's just you don't have any. You'd be like a 20-year-old or something that just got their first card, and the only thing they have in their whole life, they're not going to have a high credit score with one credit card. You know? And that's back where you are, and that's what you're setting up. So, because the algorithm is based on how you interact.

The algorithm that creates the credit score is based on how you interact with credit. It's not based on anything else. And so, if you have zero interaction with credit, then that's when you have an indeterminable zero credit score. Jeannie, you said you're nervous. Are you nervous because you're unsure of your credit score dropping to zero when you cut an indeterminable, a zero credit score. Jeannie, you said you're nervous. Are you nervous because you're unsure of your credit score dropping to zero when you cut this up? Are you nervous because now you won't have

this credit card in your life? Where's your nerves coming from specifically? I think the nerves are coming from just having that cushion or thinking I have a cushion. And I don't want to think that, but I just, I'm struggling with myself. It's just a battle. It is a battle. Look, I'm going to validate think that, but I just, I'm struggling with myself. It's just a battle. It is a battle.

Look, I'm going to validate that because the credit card companies, that's what they tell us. They tell us, you can't exist without us. You need us to prop up your life. You can't spend with us. They've been telling us this for decades. Don't leave home without it. Don't leave home without it. And I'm 53, so I just started this in January.

I'm just like, you know, I've been, that stuff has been drilled in me a long time. And you're single. Yes. And so you feel vulnerable. You feel a little bit vulnerable for that reason. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And, yeah, that's very normal.

But what that tells us is, and I went through this spiritually myself some 30 years ago it tells me what i'm counting on what am i what is in a sense in a sense not not a true spiritual sense but in a sense what is my god what is my what is my provision oh my gosh you know okay i'm gonna do it y'all it's so good but i mean it tell that's what i had to cope with i went who's providing for me i don't like the way you put that i know but i i that's what I had to cope with. I went, who's providing for me? Yeah, I don't like the way you put that. I know, but that's what I had to have here in my head. And it wasn't like a golden calf worshiper. I'm not saying that.

That's not what you're doing. But the thing is this, I figured out I really can't count on them to make my life good. I can count on me and my hard work and my diligence and discipline and wisdom and i can count on god providing for me my heavenly father who's crazy about me i can count on those two things but i 100 can't count on wells fargo look exactly that's a word that's it and that's that's you know who is my provider and that's that's what they've done. They've gotten their tentacles around, their claws around that portion of our heart. Yeah. That says, don't leave home without it.

Don't leave home. I mean, it turns out Daniel Boone did. And he did. He was all right. He did okay. Yeah, we got to stop. He actually died bankrupt. But anyway, but yeah.

Instead of relying on credit and credit scores i i just like give yourself credit give yourself credit that you can handle your own money give yourself credit that you can budget and you're a big girl and a big boy how that word is interchangeable it is credit as in i'm gonna go in debt or i'm gonna give myself credit cred street cred i'm gonna i'm gonna give myself the belief in myself i'm putting that in the quick read and that that's what i'm thinking yeah you know i i there but it that's why the credit cards have big and the fico score really when we talk about this don't worship at the altar of the great fico yeah oh great fico provider of all good things we bring you offerings of interest so that you give us a bigger score that has

nothing to do with nothing except how much we play kissy face with the bank and we know we we really this is our provider yeah oh fico good old fico and i i think of these bad b movies with like a you know like a pyramid with flames coming out of the top and the, you know, the, the, the, you know, the, the face, the face made out of stone and the smoke coming out the ears. Yeah. Great FICO. Oh, great FICO. We worship you.

Yeah. Like we're Mayans or something. Oh my God. Give me a break. No, none of that. Yeah. But I mean that not picking on her, but I mean, that's where I was too. I get it yeah

you were convinced the best way to become wealthy is to go in debt stay in debt yeah by the people who want you to go into debt and stay in debt yeah oh they've convinced us of that the borrower is truly slave to the lender good hey another one down she's gonna cut it up jade we did it she's gonna do it she's gonna do it k Kyle's in Spokane. Hey, Kyle, what's up? Yes, sir. I'm happy to speak with you, Mr. Ramsey, and Mrs. Walshaw today. I have a quick question. My wife and I are on baby steps four, five, and six.

We recently sat down with a few of your smart investor pros, all of whom were excellent. Good. We've narrowed it down to two. Good. But there's one big difference between them. They'd both be great to work with, but I hope to get some guidance. One is strictly fee-based. They assess 1% of the account value annually, and that would decrease by a few tenths as the account increases in value. The second is commission-based, where it's 3.5% of all new money invested.

In the long term, it seems like the fee-based approach would be way more expensive, but he argues that commission-based guys may use mutual funds with higher maintenance fees to kind of compensate themselves. Well, that would not be true of a smart investor. Someone that has integrity would not do that. So a smart investor that's wanting to charge you, I buy commission-based. But most people do managed funds, like you're talking about. The vast majority of our smart investor pros are managed funds,

or the 1% plan. Okay. The vast majority of them are. But there's nothing inherently automatically bad about one or the other. And you're right. Technically, you will come out cheaper with the commission base than the managed base. Technically. Okay?

Over the scope of your life. Okay? Mathematically. But neither one is a ripoff. Both are worth the money. And so, like, I'm pretty sure, for instance, Rachel and Winston have theirs on the 1% plan, and I do the old-fashioned commission plan. That's more of an old-fashioned style, okay? But it is cheaper.

They're called A-shares. You're buying A-shares. And the most you'd get charged is five and three quarter on the front end, and then nothing after that, nothing ever after that. And so what's it take? It takes five and three quarter years to break even on that, right? And so after that, you're making money. So ten years in, you make – but either one are fine.

Neither one are going to keep you from getting rich. Having a good financial advisor is going to make you rich because they're going to keep you in the game. They is going to make you rich because they're going to keep you in the game they're going to have the heart of a teacher and i wouldn't turn around spit for the difference i if i were you i wouldn't pick it based on that i would instead pick it based on which one of these two your wife likes best okay that's good advice right there which one did she like very good sir which one did she like best? Which one did she like best? It's the feet based.

Then go with that. Okay. She just likes that guy the best. Well, he is handsome. I'll give him that much. Oh, I didn't mean that. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

No, that's not a reason to pick him either. Otherwise, no one would ever listen to my advice. I was about to say. Hey, you were about would ever listen to my advice i was about to say hey you were about to say that no i was about to say i know dave is not talking about oh my oh my oh my oh my who can find a virtuous wife for her worth is far above rubies the heart of her husband safely trusts her and he will have no lack of gain. This is the Ramsey way. Just go to ramseysolutions.com today to sign up for our newsletter. Again, that's ramseysolutions.com to sign up for our weekly newsletter.