The Ramsey Show - App - No One Gets Peace From Disorganized Chaos (Hour 2)

Episode Date: May 21, 2024

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show. We help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, number one best selling author, and my co-host today. We're glad to have you. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Felix is in Bangor, Maine. Hi, Felix. How are you? I'm doing good. How are you doing? Better than I deserve.

What's up? So, I am 19 turning 20 this year. I am debt-free, and I have a six-month emergency fund saved up, and I'm looking to change my living situation. Good for you. Currently, I live with my fiancee and her grandparents, exchanging work as well as

pretty small amounts of living expenses for help. And in exchange, I get to live here practically rent-free. So I have absolutely no free time, and when I'm out of work, I'm in two chores. It's not sustainable. It's taking a toll on my mental health, and I'm just trying to get better. I currently have a tiny home that I am building on the land out back. I purchased the building and refurbished it so far to the point where I can start building. My family are all in the trades and have agreed to help me with some

knowledge on building that home to make it better. However, I'm still stuck on the idea of whether or not it's a good idea to have this tiny home and move it onto some land. So you're building it portable right now? Yes. You're building it on a trailer or something so that you can move it and set it somewhere? Yes, sir. Okay. All right. Out back, and then I'm buying land. I move it and set it somewhere. Yes, sir. Okay. All right.

Out back, and then I'm buying land. I wanted to make sure I understood what was going on. Okay. Yeah. All right. Cool. Yes. All right.

So what do you do for a living? I'm currently a CNA. I'm also in college. All expenses paid for computer engineering. Okay. Good for you. Well done. So your question at 19 years old and you're engaged to be married when?

The following summer. Good. Okay. Your question is whether to finish the tiny home and buy some land and plop it on that or buy a house. Yes, sir. Buy a house yes sir buy a house i i hate money to answer the question huh the thing is right i hate owing money i really do okay and all the houses in the area are just awfully expensive seeing those six numbers and thinking i'm gonna have to owe that.

It kills me, you know? That's fair. And, you know, renting is an option, too. But the, so here's the thing. The tiny house, the problem with the tiny house movement is that it's tiny. There's not a lot of people doing this, okay? There's a lot of discussion. There's a few loudmouths on the Internet.

But 98, 99% of the public are not interested in a tiny house when you get ready to sell it. Consequently, basic supply-demand economics tells us that where there is very little demand, there is very little price increase. So the tiny house is not going to appreciate dollar for dollar as much as a traditional property will. Now, the dirt that's under it might, and it might fool you into thinking that the tiny house idea was a good idea,

but the tiny house in and of itself, there's not a lot of demand, and so there's not going to be a lot of appreciation. The only thing it does do is it provides shelter. Very little, but a shelter. Do you have enough cash to buy this land you're talking about since you hate debt so much um no sir i was planning on getting a loan and so what's the difference in a land loan and a house loan well sir five years the amount. Five years and the amount. Yes, sir.

Okay. Also, the credit required. Okay. All right. Well, it is not going to ruin the rest of your life to do any of these three options. Rent, do the tiny house with some land or buy a home the thing that i think that will first that will fastest advance you to where when you're 39 which which one of these three choices will get you the furthest ahead renting for three years inexpensively

and piling up cash will get you to where you want to go faster at 19 years old than buying a tiny land, dying a piece of land and putting a tiny house on it, or buying a house when you're in college still, when you haven't started your career still. You're just getting to the game too early. And if I were you, I would just be caught be content and and just rent something and start your life off with your fiance and work your tail end off you're not afraid

of work you're a good thinker you're thinking about ideas all the time that's good um the only thing i would add to your equation to make youous is patience. Yes, sir. Yeah, Felix. You're a go-getter, man. If you could rent, like, a garage apartment somewhere and keep your cost really, really low. That's what he's doing now. Except he has to work to do it. Well, he's an indentured servant, essentially, is what's really happening here. Look that up, Felix.

You'll understand that. But the point is that Dave's right. Something super, super cheap because you've got the income and you've got the discipline i would go that route too and just wait until you get out of school get that big job and get on the ladder and climb and i think you're going to be better off yeah the only appeal for you of the tiny house is price that's the only thing that's drawing you to it now you've already got it under construction. I would think you finish it up and sell it and load it on a trailer. Load it on your little trailer and take it over to somebody's little place

and set that little thing down there and sell it and make you a little money on it. And if you want to go do that again, that'd be okay with me. That sounds like a good side hustle, building tiny houses and selling them to people if you want to. But in terms of is a tiny house a equivalent investment to buying a home not even close not even close because the demand for them is very low in reality there's a lot of discussion and a lot of hot air around it but that's a lot different than putting it on the market with a little for sale sign and having six people run up to buy it

and let's not forget here for a moment felix, Dave and I have been married a long time each. We haven't been married to each other. Let's be clear on that one. But married a long time to our wives. And here's the deal. What I can tell you, the first year of marriage and the data will tell you, it's really hard. And I can't imagine the first year of marriage in a teeny tiny house where you're literally. Sounds like a bad Aesop's fable.

It does. I just need some space from each other, and there's no space in those things. Yeah, you would, by definition, they're tiny. Sheesh. Have you seen any of these reality shows where people actually live in these things? It all seems really cool until the cameras go away.

The only thing I'm sure about reality shows is there's nothing to do with reality. This is The Ramsey Show. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Our question of the day comes from Adam in Wisconsin. My 24-year-old son has a mentor that wants to hire him while he builds a new business. He will teach my son e-commerce, sales, and ways to start a business. The mentor is quite successful and is excited about teaching him how to be successful in this field. Because the business is so new, my son will not be getting paid for six months to a year, hopefully sooner, but no guarantee.

Should my son quit his current job where he makes close to $45,000 a year to join this adventure for the potential of a six-figure income and future opportunities from what he will learn. He currently lives with us and he has no bills except for covering his car insurance. Well, Adam, I'm going to tell you what I would tell my son. If my son came home and asked me if he should do this, I'd say absolutely not. I don't understand why why this mentor who is supposedly very successful and excited about teaching a young man is going to ask him to come on uh for free for free something doesn't add up the successful people that i know smells like a scam uh free labor and i think this is silly and so i would call the guy's bluff and i think you're probably going to find out that it is just in fact that it's a bluff.

And I would tell him, no, you're not doing that. Yeah. I don't have much more to add to that. It doesn't make any sense to me. If I took on the role of a 24-year-old, and I was the mentor. I could not ask them to work for free. I agree. That would turn my stomach up into my throat.

Now, if you want to offer him a job making what he's making now, which is not much, 45, while you start up, and you'll mentor him and teach him stuff fine but um so i i think you not only don't take the job uh you disengage from the in air quotes mentor yeah because i'm not sure he's a real one well he's not not the way you and i define it for sure yeah i mean uh i would never mentor someone with the point of making them my indentured servant yeah yeah that's what this is for real yeah yeah um that's not the idea um it would be kind of the other way as an act of honor I would want to overpay someone I was mentoring, not underpay them. Or give them a real opportunity through a commission structure where they get what they make. They get a big portion of what they make.

So that's different than this. This is a weird, wacky, feels very manipulative,ulative gross and i'm just not buying the quite successful part no no i just don't i don't i could be wrong i mean maybe maybe he just has a different way of looking at the world than we do and he's maybe he's worth millions of dollars and and he is quite successful but um he just wants to teach those young people a lesson. I don't know. I don't know what the deal is there, but I'm with you. The way we answer questions on this show is if this was my son, what would I tell him? Run from the opportunity and the man. That's what I would tell him. I'd actually probably, knowing me, I'd probably say, hey, why don't you tell a successful mentor

guy to have coffee with me? I got questions. probably what i'd say mentor guy i'd like to he has a new title right successful mentor guy that's what i would actually do like a saturday night live skit yeah i'm successful mentor guy yeah i am yeah i got questions and i'd like to ask and let's see how he answers it but that's just me i'd do it for sheer sport tim's in pensacola florida hi tim how are you hey sir i'm well how are you better than i deserve how can i help so um quick and to the point i'm debt free i tithe from my church um the remaining money right that i have left over at the end of every month causes me more anxiety and more stress. I don't know what to do with it, and I just watch it disappear.

I don't know if it's bad spending habits. I can put money in my TSP, my retirement every month, too, but that leftover money, I don't know what to do with it, and inevitably what I do is just spend it. Yeah. Well, of course you do. That's what everybody does. it's not it's not horrible it's just not efficient and the lack of efficiency is bothering you and giving you regret itis yes sir yeah so it's a very simple fix start doing a detailed budget using the every dollar app i will give you the every dollar app premium version that

for free that ties into your bank so every time you spend on your debit card you have to drag it into a category in your budget now the trick here is this john maxwell ken and i have a good friend says that a budget is people telling their money what to do instead of wondering where it went. That sounds just like you. Yeah. Okay. I would agree with that. So you need to tell your money what to do before the month begins.

Give every dollar an assignment. That's why we named the app EveryDollar. EveryDollar has a mission. EveryDollar has a name on it, however you want to call this. But EveryDollar is allocated on the app, has an assignment before it comes in. And if the assignment is blow this $50, then blow the $50. If the assignment is put more money in an investment, then put more money in an investment. If the assignment is find someone and do a random act of charity and give somebody $50 at a gas pump or leave a $50 tip at the Waffle House, then do that.

Okay? But write it down ahead of time, and whatever you're doing, do it on purpose. And then if you actually follow the plan that you made for yourself, then you will not feel regret. Does that make sense? It does. You've got a plan for most of your money. It's the little things, the little foxes spoil the vine, Proverbs says.

Yes, sir. I hear what you're saying. You're being very responsible and detailed with a whole lot of your money. You told me where it's going. It's going to TSP. It's going to this. You've got it laid out. But I just want you to add a level of project management,

a level of detail to your planning of your money. And when you do that, you're going to get a sense of relief. You're going to feel like sense of relief you're going to feel like you got a raise and you're going to be able to achieve some goals with that money because i really don't care what people do with money as long as they do it on purpose as soon as they start doing it on purpose then they come back and ask me okay what do i do next and that's where we came up with the baby steps yeah you could just feel a little angst on him still uh and it's because i don't know if he's feeling like he's doing enough good with it or what's going on.

But regardless of that, to your point. He has no confidence. That's right. That's where the angst comes from. That's right. You will get confidence when you start telling your money what to do. You'll start to be going, I'm a money stud. I got this going, man.

Right. I got this. Because all this is is you feel out of control. You feel chaotic. You're going to you just I got this because you're going to because all this is is you feel out of control. You feel chaotic. You feel like a failure. Yeah. And when you start putting it down on paper and then you live to the paper, start putting in the app and you live to the app. Ding, ding, you know, successful. It's called self-discipline. And it's amazing what that does to people's dignity, self-confidence, power, everything. Their swagger comes, everything.

You're just going to feel a whole lot better about Tim, Tim. So have at it. Kalen is in Sacramento. Kalen, I'm going to hold you until after the break because I'm looking at this number here and don't want to have to. Yeah, I wanted to go back to that Tim thing because you said something really great earlier in the show about those buckets of when you've done everything that you're supposed to do and you got this extra money, it's that give some of it, save some of it, have some fun with it. And again, by going through that budget exercise and using every dollar, it's the intentionality that I think he's craving to where he can go, okay, at least I have a plan for it. It feels like he doesn't

have a plan right now, which the budget addresses. and therefore he's just kind of like uh the inefficiency i think is eating away at it listen there is no even if you're the most free-spirited person in the world there is no one who gets peace from disorganized chaos no one oh that's fine no it's not you know you wake up feeling like you got a financial hangover you you look over and you go oh god i did it again i overspent oh god i shouldn't have ordered those 73 extra things at the restaurant oh i did it again no one that's not fun for I don't care. You don't have to be a nerd or a tightwad to have that experience. No one gets peace from disorganized chaos.

This is The Ramsey Show. Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 888- my co-host today. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Christian's in Lexington, Kentucky. Hi, Christian. How are you?

Doing good, Dave. How are you? Better than we deserve. What's up? So I just recently lost my job a couple months ago. My job I was making $80,000 at. My new job I only make at a max $24,000-$25,000 a year. You went from $80,000 to $24,000? Yes. Why? I was a truck driver. I was on the road a lot, and my daughter just turned a year old, and I'd rather be at home with her and my wife

than be on the road 80 hours a week yeah but what's the $24,000 job you just took it's at a automotive uh collision repair yeah you can you can drive in town cdl and make a whole lot more than that right yeah um what's going on you just acknowledge that you know that drivers are in huge demand you've got incredible qualifications and you just said yeah what's going on it's not something that i love to do i was miserable doesn't matter brother right now you can't take that big of a hit what's that going to do to your income? $24,000 a year, man. You just moved to poverty level. That's right.

Have you run the numbers on what that's going to actually mean? No. You're starving to death. That's why you're calling. Yeah. Yeah. You have an income problem. Okay.

So, first you said you lost your job. Yes. Did you get fired? Uh, I did get fired. Why? Um, the company that I was at has a point system and you have so many collisions or drop trailers. One was a mechanical problem, but it still went to two points,

and the other one was a collision. Okay. So is that going to keep you from getting another CDL position? No. Did you get hurt in the collision, or did someone get hurt in the collision? No, sir. It was in a parking lot, a parked car. Okay.

So I'm trying to figure out, was your confidence rattled? My confidence was not that rattled. It was a freak accident, honestly. That's why they call them accidents. I'm fine with that. I got no issue with that. So you're not afraid to drive a truck? No. And you think you're capable of driving a truck?

And you could make $60,000 in town and instead you're making 24 schlepping parts? And be home every night. You do know that, right? Yes, sir. I mean, you do know that's what CDL drivers make with in-town routes, right? It is.

Okay. I upgraded from one of those at that company. So Christian, let me tell you why I think you've got to take this option. Well, it's a viable option. This is not long-term, but it will stabilize you while you figure out what the next is. Well, let me ask you this too. Let's stop a second. Let me pan back three more steps.

How old are you? 28. Okay. So what are you? 28. Okay. So what do you want to be doing when you're 38 that makes $100,000 a year? What I'm doing right now. What you're doing right now doesn't make $100,000 a year, dude. You make $24,000. Right.

There is no path to $100,000. I'm detailing cars, and I would like to start my own business and that's where i would like to get to okay i'm now i thought you said you worked at an auto parts store yes sir not not a store a collision center oh so you detail them once they're done. So you're washing cars in a collision center? Yes, sir. Okay. All right. Okay, so let's talk that out.

So if that's the path to one day owning your own detail business, you have to make more money and get out of debt and get free of all of the junk that comes with the debt, and then we can start taking steps to starting your own business down the line. But you working in this current job in detailing, it's not going to get you. Do you know how to detail a car now? I'm sorry? Do you know how to detail a car now?

Yes, sir. That's what I was doing. If I hired you to come to my house and gave you the equipment, you could detail my car and you could charge me $135, right? You wouldn't have to give me the equipment i've got the equipment okay why aren't you doing that then i am doing that on the side um but the demand on uh where i live outside of lexington is not that great and there are many companies that detail cars in Lexington that people would rather go to. Okay, so we have a bad business idea.

The market where you live doesn't support this now or probably in the future, correct? Yes. All right. So we've got to have some gumption here. We've got to say, okay, what do I love about detailing? What gives you that joy about the detailing process? I love working with the customer and seeing them happy with a completely brand new looking car. Okay, great. So here's what you've got to do. You've got to start thinking, how can I meet people every day life and do something for them that makes them really,

really happy? That could be in the trades, my friend. And the trades, there is a huge need right now. You've got to start looking at what you can do that still brings you enjoyment. And so this could be plumbing, electrician. You could get into construction. Let me tell you this. There's also manufacturing jobs right now all across this country where you could potentially be working with customers and doing something for them. Because you didn't say it was about the car so much as about doing something, making it look something good and hand it off to somebody and they get excited about it. You've got to start channeling that and realize what your opportunity is. Here's what I like about you. You want to work for yourself one day. That's great. And I think the trades are where you need to be looking

because there's a greater market for you in and around Lexington, Kentucky than this detailing business. Okay. So here's a couple of things I do know, right? I do know you're starving to death. Your current job sucks. I'm 100% sure your family is in jeopardy. You went from 80K to 24K, and you called us because you can't pay your bills and you're scared. So we're trying to help you with that. And, dude, you need to go get something else and make some more money on a temporary basis while you get some business idea up and running if it's not this one it's another one but um i can tell you this anytime you're

doing something with your hands like car detailing or building decks or working in the trades if you show up on time do what you said you were going to do every single time. You can charge almost anything you want, and there really is no competition because most people can't even seem to get there. Right. Well, we aren't starving to death. When I had that dog, we were living on one less than we made. But what we made went into two vehicles that we can still afford, but don't want to. No, you can't afford them.

You're broke. You don't make any money. You need to get a different position, son. Your income is your crisis. And, uh, and you know, and it's because you, you know, if you've got the equipment, you either need to get that equipment and haul your butt over to Lexington and get some cars washed and get your income going, or you need to go take a job driving CDL inside. Your family's depending on you.

You got about 20 minutes. Ready, set, go. Now, now, your analysis of going from 80 to 24, and I'm going in the pressure washing business, the pressure washing business, the car detailing business, but I really can't do much because I live out in the country, is bull crap. It's killing you. It's killing you.

You need a new set of eyes on this, and you need to get in gear and make some money for the next year and a half to two years and get the wolf away from the door, get these stupid cars sold, and then you can start making some adjustments long-term in your career. And you either go one of the directions Ken said, or you can go beat the competition in Louisville and say, well, I don't drive over the road 80 hours, but I do drive to, I mean, Lexington. I do drive to Lexington.

Or we load up our butts and we move to Lexington, where the business can prosper. One of the two. We can't make it out in the country. We're moving to town, boys and girls. Here we go. This is what you do. You make your family work by working.

This is The Ramsey Show. Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Thanks for hanging out with us America well I don't know when you're going to be listening but today is Tuesday the 21st of May for those of you listening live tonight George Campbell and I will be doing the first installment of two nights in a row of Dave Ramsey's Investing Essentials. I'm going to get nerdy and go deep down into the nerdville of investing, stuff I've never taught before, but people have been asking me how to analyze real estate properly, and I'm going to teach you the academic version of it and what I actually personally do on real estate and what I do on

mutual funds and what I do on other things and what are do on mutual funds and what I do on other things and what are the principles I use and what are the principles for investing that I find with wealthy people versus, you know, your broke brother-in-law who lives in his mother's basement and has a TikTok account, which everybody seems to have an idea about finances that are broke. So we really don't take financial advice from broke people. So we're going to go through this tonight and tomorrow night. It is not two separates.

It is a back-to-back. And so you want to be there for both nights. If you're hearing this in time, you can get the tickets for $199. Gosh, Ken, I can't believe it's thousands of people. Yeah, I can. Like 4,000 people have signed up. It's crazy. crazy yeah i'm not surprised this is what people want to hear from you you know apparently ramsey solutions.com

slash events they may regret it though they may be sleepy by the time i finish my nerd explanation this is the kind of stuff that i dread somebody doing in a live audience because they nod off right in front of you you should make george come out every 15 minutes and lead him in jumping jacks just for about a minute and then let you get right because george is known for his aerobic activity no i just think it'll be funny no that would be funny yeah george is going to help me and that will make it lighter than if it's gonna be really good than if i just crunch the academic crunching that That's right. Gordon is in Tampa, Florida. Hey, Gordon, what's up? Hey, Dave.

How are you doing today? Better than I deserve, sir. How are you? I'm all right. Could be a little better. Cool. How can we help? So I have been having a little bit of trouble getting my wife on board

with the baby steps and kind of, you kind of getting started with Financial Peace University, and I'm trying to see what I can do to get her kind of on board with the idea. How old are you? We've already talked about our debt situation. How old are you? 30. And how long have you been married? We've been married for 13 years.

And how long have you been discussing dave ramsey and baby steps and ken coleman uh we have been discussing it here and there over the last couple weeks i've been trying to get her on board with it got it okay she's a little skeptical yeah i bet because you came in and started telling her all the things you were going to do. Well, I tried to ease her into it. You did. You screwed this up. And give her... I know why she's not on board, because you came in and started telling her, here's what we're going to do. This is awesome. I'm so excited.

We need to do this, this, this, and this, and this. And Dave Ramsey said this, and you've already turned my name into a cuss word in your house. Didn't you? Not exactly. Okay, then what did you do i've uh why do you think she's not on board why do you think she's not on board you think she has a character deficit i honestly think she's kind of set in her ways of doing things her way yeah to be honest yeah i've tried to, you know, just simply... You've been married how long? Did you say 10 years?

We've actually been together for 13 years. We've been married for eight. Okay. And who handles the money in your house before all this happened? She does because I'm at work for 16 hours out of the day. Can you imagine that you coming in with bright money ideas might be a little bit insulting to her? Yeah. Yeah, I can, and I've also tried to

talk to her about that. What's the part she's most hung up on? Well, she has a plan as far as going through the snowball effect, and she feels like it's going to work, but it's also the same plan that she talked about

several times prior and it didn't work so i that's why i tried to suggest you know the baby steps and try and get her to at least look at it that way we can talk about it together and as soon as i bring it up to her she completely shoots it down so what's her version I bring it up to her, she completely shoots it down. What's her version? She's telling me I have to be a little more faithful as far as looking for faith, if I want to word it correctly. She's been on more of a spiritual journey lately, and she's telling me that I need to be a little more optimistic to that kind of thing and have a little more faith on my side instead of just, you know, kind of being distraught about the whole situation, which I told her I can understand. But the thing is, it's all real happening right now, and it's very frustrating mentally because I am the only one working at the moment. Why does she not work?

Well, she was working, but the daycare service was so expensive that I just said, it's almost easier for you to just be a stay-at-home mom, and we can save the $500 a month that we were paying and put it towards the stuff that we were paying off. And we agreed on that. And she just recently started working about a week ago, but it's only Saturday to kind of help with the debt. And pretty much everything since inflation started, just like everybody else has, pretty much where the downfall started.

What do you make? As of my last job prior to being laid off it was 60 grand a year okay um i just started a new job last week so i don't even have my first paycheck until this friday but i'm just gonna rough plus or minus around 60 grand. Okay. And where does 16 hours a day come from? Well, that was at my previous job. Okay, good. So now you're not. Yeah, now it's anywhere between 10 to 12.

You know, it's kind of depending on how much work is available. I'm a construction surveyor. Okay. All right. construction surveyor okay all right um okay there's uh uh i don't know if you can hear this or not but what i think i hear going on is a version of what i thought was going on at the start of the call. Um, a, she's handling the money and is on a faith walk as a part of that. And you come in with a bunch of new ideas that is insulting to her. And you just saying that out loud once doesn't change her emotion on that. That is a valid emotion as a response to you coming in. She's been handling everything. You, you said, I'm working 16 hours. I don't have time to do it. You do it. And do it and then you come in and go oh wait a minute i don't like the way you're doing it

and that generally doesn't go well in relationships dude it's pretty simple uh then secondly uh you came at her with a bunch of ideas rather than a dream so i i would pan back if i were in your shoes and you called and asked what to do, and this is what I would tell you to do, um, uh, and sit, sit down, whether turning off all the TVs, make sure the,

uh, kids are in bed and sit down and say, I need to talk to you about this and I need you to hear me clearly. First, I'm sorry. I came at you wrong on this. I came at you with a bunch of things I think we need to do. And I came at you in a way that insulted what you were doing. I am glad you've been doing what you're doing,

and I'm with you on this faith walk. I'm with you on what you're doing. I am learning some things about this money stuff that I've never known before, and it's exciting to me. And the reason, here's the key right here, the reason i'm excited is here's where i think it can take us i want us to sit and talk for a few minutes about where we could be if we were out of debt what would you want to do if we didn't have any debt and we had some money what would you want to do with generosity with travel what kind of car would you like to do with generosity, with travel? What kind of car would you like to have someday? If somebody walked in and handed us a million dollars, what's your dream? What would you want to do?

And then let's together figure out the best way to get there. And it would mean a lot. And then talk that through. Have a dream date in high definition. And shut up and listen to her when she's talking. Okay? And when you're doing that, then let that all get out there and then go, okay, let's now agree on how we can get there after it's all out there.

And I'll give you Financial Peace University for the two of you to go find a local church and go together. And that is a faith walk, by the way, to learn God's ways of handling money. That's what Financial Peace University is. And then you say, it would mean a lot to me if you would consider looking at this.