The Ramsey Show - App - Our Favorite Calls of 2023 (Part 9)

Episode Date: July 4, 2023

While we're out for the holiday, we've compiled our favorite moments from the year so far into a special episode. We hope you enjoy it and we'll be back with a live show tomorrow. Let us know what you think in the comments. Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Here's an EveryDollar deal just for our listeners: get a 14-day free trial PLUS $15 off your first year of premium. Click the link below and start budgeting today! www.everydollar.com/TRS Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3cEP4n6 Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Interested in advertising on The Ramsey Show? https://ter.li/s64ye3 Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the pods moving and storage studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual, real, amazing relationships. The phone number here is 888-825-5225. Number one best-selling author, Ramsey personality, and host of The Ken Coleman Show is my co-host today, which means we've got the career expert, jobs expert in the house.

We'll be talking about that with you as we go throughout the show today. Thanks for joining us again. 888-825-5225. Tony starts this hour in Detroit. Hey, Tony, what's up? Hey, how you doing? Better than I deserve, man. How can I help? Good deal. I have a quick question for you. I have a number of rentals. One of the rentals has a mortgage on it, and me and my wife can't agree on if we should keep it or sell it. I would like to sell it. She would like to keep it. Okay.

The other rentals don't have a mortgage? Correct. Okay. So this is the only debt you have. How about your personal residence? Personal residence has a mortgage as well. Okay. Do you have any other debt?

Yeah, I guess I do have a truck that has a loan on it. Mm-hmm. So why are you wanting to sell this property? So I'm in my job, and I just don't want to focus on the ups and downs of rental. This one right now is an Airbnb, and, yeah, I'm overthinking about it. So the hassle. Correct. And she doesn't want to sell it.

Why? She doesn't want to sell it because it would make a decent amount of money if we could pay it off quickly. It would bring in about $20,000. Well, that's assuming she continues to have free labor from you. Very true. If we have to hire a management firm to run this freaking nightmare called an Airbnb, then suddenly your margins are going to go to squat. Yeah, well, the margin would still be about $20,000 a year.

We can rent it for about $3,000 a month and then less insurance and taxes. I just said you had to hire somebody else to manage it. Yeah. Yeah. If you keep it, you have to do that because you're done. Correct. Yeah. How much do you make on it if you sell it

um we would make about well we'd profit about 100 well i think that i think the core issue is is that you guys are not on the same page on where you want to end up if you decide on where we want to end up where do we want to be in five years do we want to be king and queen of the airbnbs um and uh being dead on my truck and uh being dead on our house and uh be spending too much time bunch of time on this is what we want our life to be five years from now um if it is then you probably should keep. But if you have a different set of, if you agree on a different set of targets that you're going after, I want to be debt-free, get my stupid truck paid off, pay off our house, and I'm going to get out of the Airbnb hassle business and have a calm, peaceful life again.

If that's your goal, then obviously you'd sell it. So, you know, if you were working the Ram goal then obviously you'd sell it so you know if you were working the ramsey plan you'd sell it but you're not working the ramsey plan you're just arguing with your wife about whether to sell a rental you're just you know that's all that's going on so you know you're just doing whatever the flip you want to do and y'all are arguing about this one thing so but that but the reason you're having this disagreement is you're not in agreement on your long-term goals and when you get in an agreement on your strategic long-term goals, then the tactical miscellaneous steps to get there will fall right in line and you'll be in agreement on those. Yeah. And I think you make a very good point about the long-term goals. I'm

not sure that they're both truly looking at long-term. They're not. They're looking at just this one thing. Yeah. She's like, well, they have other rentals and they're not thinking about, well, if we sell the house, we make a hundred,000, we pay off the truck, we've got these other properties that are cash flowing. They've got to think 20, 30 years down the line. I think that's the great advice you're giving there. And then once we can get on the same page about our desired future, then it's a lot easier decision. There's nothing really to argue about if we have a long-term vision that we agree on. Exactly, exactly. Evan is with us in Denver, Colorado. Hi, Evan, how are you?

Good, Dave, how are you doing? Better than I deserve. How can we help? Yeah, I see a lot of people are turning towards artificial intelligence and robo-advisors to get their financial advice. I was curious to see what you thought about that. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

I know from what I've played around with it, they don't necessarily say your advice is bad, but they don't disagree with it or agree with it. I know particularly they say there is such thing as good debt and that the best way to get out of debt is a debt avalanche. Well, I mean, you just got to decide who you want to be advising you chatbot or human i just i see a lot of financial advisors putting it into their practices i was just wondering is it a dangerous thing is it a good thing yeah it's it's both um ai and robo investing

is is good it's there's nothing wrong with any of it um especially where you're dealing with a very small account and you're just getting started and it causes you at a low cost to get started as an investor but if i was managing a million dollars am i letting a chat bot do that nope don't think so yeah really i mean ai stuff's very impressive um we were i was looking at in a meeting this morning some of the stuff that we're going to be able to do with it it's um it's ridiculous yeah uh how how cool some of this stuff is but with it comes the danger of no human oversight and um and that's the the only way you know if the advice coming out of it is accurate is you're measuring it against a human's value system that's the point and evan I would tell you that artificial intelligence is about knowledge. What it lacks is wisdom. And that's what Dave's talking about.

You're talking about a guide, a human being who understands principles through experience. And AI is nothing more than a world-class aggregation tool, if you want to just break it down. And so it's knowledge, knowledge, knowledge. But the answer to your question lies in what you said, artificial intelligence. It's not wisdom. It's knowledge that has been aggregated, and you need wisdom, and it's never, whether it's robo, whether it's an individual human being, you have to understand where the money's going. You are in charge of it. It's your fault if it screws up because you let it happen. It's your money. And so, you know, and so what that means is if your financial advisor says, oh, there's good debt, you need to go borrow on your house. You go, huh, I need a new financial advisor. This one's an idiot. Oh, you know, you need to go get a universal life policy. Oh, I need a new financial advisor.

This one's an idiot. And so, you know, you have to make those calls because you've already decided certain things you're going to do and not going to do. And regardless of who it is that's coming at you, whether it's, which kind of, to me, it's very interesting. It's almost an oxymoron to say artificial intelligence. It's like, you know, like airline service. You know, these things don't go in the same sentence. But anyway, but it is very impressive, and it is a great aggregator. So it's going to be kind of fun to see what we can do with it as a tool.

But is it, am I going to turn my life over to a single human, a robo-advisor, or an AI chatbot? Not a chance. I'm in charge of my life. My job to manage it. I can listen to what they have to say and decide if I want to fire them or not. This is the Ramsey Show. Hey, you guys. Health insurance costs are only moving one way, and that way isn't down. And if higher costs aren't enough, the wait times to see your doctor are longer, and it's harder than ever to get anything approved through the bureaucracy. So if you feel like the system is working against you, try a biblically-based alternative to health insurance, Christian Healthcare Ministries.

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CHM programs start as low as $98 a month. So learn more today and join at chministries.org slash budget at chministries.org slash budget. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality is my co-host today. He does a show called the Dr. John Deloney show that is a very popular ramsey networks podcast and you should tune into it it's all about relationships and boundaries and uh dr john has a phd in higher education and also a phd in counseling and so anytime those two intersect uh we really get into a great discussion and he sent me an article this morning and said let's talk about this here on the air so uh the hat tip to the guys at marginal revolution i love those guys um so it's a paper from the national bureau of economic research um diner stein and yannelis

and chen here's here's the study so most people don't know this but when it comes to student loans there's we'll distill it down but there's two different paths you a college can take let's just stop saying this is a white paper a white paper yeah there you go this is not an article on yahoo finance by some yahoo yeah this is a research okay this is actually a research paper by a nerd by egghead several several of my of my nerd friends several of your nerd friends. Okay. So there's two separate paths. One of the paths is the government makes the loans, and the other is the bank makes the loans, and the government guarantees them.

For the average borrower, you're never going to know which one of these paths your college took. But when Biden, I think it was Biden, maybe it had been Trump, did the first pause on student loan repayment, it instantly created a pretty cool uh study that could be done

because you had a group of people biden couldn't pause the bank loans because he didn't have the authority because it was the banks that made the loans but he could pause the loans that the government made and so these researchers came in and said what was the what was what actually happened there and dave i i used i was was sending emails to Dave this morning as I was going through the math on this thing. At the end of the day, they found that the payment pause helped for about 30 seconds. And the people who had to keep making their loan payments did not have any increase in defaults. They didn't have any increase in their life falling apart.

The words I kept coming to was they figured it out. Conversely, those that were a beneficiary of the pause ended with more debt than they started with. And I just have to keep reading that and reading that and reading that because, Dave, I remember Twitter tried to set you on fire when you said that $1,300 isn't going to change your life. It's not. Or $600 isn't going to change your life.

And what they're saying is actually that pause made it worse. People took the money that was in cash that they weren't sending student loans, and they went and put it on down payments for more debt. So it looked like a great political move. It helped for a few months, and then it got bad. So everyone's life is going to fall apart because of COVID, and you cannot afford to pay your student loans. So we, the government, are here to help you. We're going to put your student loans on pause. The net result is that

people took that pause and used it to go further into debt, proving that they were not in much trouble to start with. Or that they had the capacity now to get in even more trouble. Exactly. Exactly. Here's the note from the actual white paper comparing borrowers whose loans were frozen with borrowers whose loans were not frozen due to differences in whether the government owned the loans we show that borrowers use the new liquidity to increase borrowing on credit cards mortgages and auto loans rather than to avoid delinquencies so the narrative was we are here to help you poor people who have had your lives destroyed by covid and you're not going to have to make your payments because we know you're starving

to death and everyone said hold my beer i'm going to go buy a car sweet now i can get a car sweet now i can get a car here that's exactly what the net result of this is here's the line by the end of the sample period student debt borrowers have about 5% more household debt than the ones that did not get the government help of the pause. Perhaps paradoxically, temporary student debt relief leads to higher overall household debt levels and larger future debt burdens. This is good news for debt pauses as stimulus payments, but bad news if you think that debt pauses are just the nudge people need to get their financial house in order.

None of them did, statistically. Wow. They went further in the hole. So once again, your government interferes in the economy, and once they screwed it up well i think this is a good moment for me to say i was wrong because i remember when when you said it's not going to help save your life and i thought to myself i think it will i think it'll make a huge difference and dave in front of america you kept that to yourself i did i did i would have made fun of you i was a new employee here but i think it's fair to say i was wrong man well i mean the the point is didn't work the point is not a philosophical uh let them eat cake statement when you say thirteen hundred dollars doesn't change your life but really i mean if you are at the poverty level fifteen thousand

dollars a year thirteen hundred dollars is not even 10% of your income. So mathematically, the arithmetic says $1,300, if it changes your life, you really have already a major screwed up life long before COVID came along. And it doesn't fix it. It doesn't fix it. It is one more time the government saying they are doing something, and that was a different thing. That was a Biden bucks for the 1300 that set. They set Dave Ramsey's on fire all over effigies, all over Reddit and everywhere else. And poor, you know, Dave Ramsey is just one of those people that doesn't have any compassion and, you know, whatever.

Oh, crap. It's just an obvious. It's just an obvious. It's an observation of the obvious. I had a college professor that told me one time, he said, Mr. Ramsey, you have a firm grasp on the obvious. Little did he know I was going to make a living doing that. But yeah, so there you go.

I do have a firm grasp on the obvious. The meta I took away from this nerd paper, and this, just for y'all listening, these kind of nerd papers make my heart beat a little bit faster. I love them. I think this lesson is applicable to my marriage. It's applicable to raising kids. It's applicable to being a good neighbor. It's applicable to my finances. There is no such thing as I'll deal with it later. That doesn't exist. It's a false premise that I can kick a can down a road on any issue in my life um like man pain deferred is pain amplified man and the more we kick stuff down the road the bigger mess we are making and i think it's an ethical issue

when we are a knowingly put putting hurting people into more pain down the road or b we are making our grandkids that we've never met yet have to deal with this chaos man it's just it's just unethical it's evil debt ceiling race it's even here we go again you know they're gonna do it again let's just go further in debt because uh none of those people voting on it are ever going to pay any of it because they're going to be dead zero they're going to be dead most of them are almost dead now they're so old but yeah unbelievable but, yeah, it's crazy. So, yeah, it is unethical. And the thing, though, Dr. Les Parrott, our friend, you know, we've spoken with him a bunch of times. He's been on the SMART conference a bunch of times.

And he always says, you know, these negative emotions, these negative situations, whatever they are, whether they're mathematical, whether they're relational, whether it's a career decision. You kick the can down the road. This stuff has, his famous phrase is, it has a high rate of resurrection. It will be back. It will. I will be back. Yeah, I'm coming back. And so, you know, don't let the sun go down on your anger. Sit down with your spouse and get this straightened out.

It will be back. You can't sweep it on the rug. It's not going to go away. It just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. That splinter, if you don't pull it, will fester, and gangrene will set in. You'll have to amputate your whole arm because you wouldn't pull this one little sliver of wood out of your finger. Or something scary, your job is taken away from you overnight. Tomorrow morning at 6 a.m., you've got to be on the phone finding something else to do.

You've got to be on that computer finding other work. You've got to figure it out. And I hate saying that because it sounds so callous, but it's me trying to tell you I love you. And I think you can figure it out. Well, step straight into the difficult things. Run into the storm. Do hard things. Michael Easter, comfort crisis. Do hard things. Step straight into them. It changes your brain chemistry. Yeah. And what Michael would say, which I think is so true, is if you do hard things on the regular as a part of your life, if you're constantly not running away from a conversation you need to have with your wife, but you're leaning into it, if you're constantly stepping into challenging moments with your kids,

constantly doing things like exercising and not going for that extra dessert, when something like this hits, your brain and body are ready to run into the storm. You've been training them, right? When you just take the stairs, right? You're training your body and your mind over time so that when hard things hit, bring it on. Let's go do this. Yeah, that's exactly right. But if you've been avoiding everything else and you get the opportunity to avoid this,

I'll kick this can down the road. See, those of you that are kicking your student loan can down the road right now and you're not dealing with it, we're talking to you for the last five minutes. It is coming for you. This is not good for you. It's not good for you. We've been saying this. A, you owe the money, and B, it's not going away until you pay it. This is The Ramsey Show. jade warshaw ramsey personality is my co-host today open phones to 888-825-5225 angie's in san bernardino hi angie welcome to the ramsey show

hi hi miss jade hey mr ramsey what an honor to talk to you both thank you so much for taking our call today our pleasure how. How can we help? Okay. So I'm hoping you can help us out. My beautiful husband and I cannot agree what to do with a rental property that we have. My hubby is pretty concerned about the capital gains and the recapture of depreciation that we would have to pay if we sell it. And I, on the other hand, I think it's a really good time to sell. And I think this money would change our lives. We would pay off our home. We would invest a little more in our Roths and maybe do a small home renovation. So, and eventually, like you mentioned before, read the menu from left to right.

I can't wait to get there. So, we are humbly asking for your opinion. I should disclose something and no pressure. Okay. No pressure at all. But he did say that if you said that we sell, that he's going to sell. So go ahead and tell him to sell. No, I'm kidding. I think we've been set up, Jade. So the only reason he doesn't want to sell is simply to avoid those capital gains. It's not because he just loves the property and wants to hold on to it and loves the cash flow? No, the cash flow is very, very low, unfortunately, less than $500 a month.

And no, we don't particularly love it. It was our first home, but we've been out of it for so long, and it's almost like he can't stomach that we probably will have to pay quite a bit of money. So what's the house worth, the rental? The house right now is worth about $530,000, and we owe about $220,000. Okay. All right. And so you're going to walk out with $300,000, we'll call it.

Okay? Not quite, but somewhere in that range. Not quite, right. And the balance on your mortgage is what? $225,000. Okay. So by the time you pay capital gains and expenses to sell the house, you pay off your home, you're going to have a little left, but not much.

So I'm sorry. Our home that we live in now, we only owe $120,000. Oh, I thought you said $225,000. Okay. $225,000 is the rental. You were correcting the $220,000. Now I'm catching on. Okay.

Just $120,000, and it's worth like $700,000. And so let's say $300. Let's call it $250 after some taxes and $120. So you would have $130, $125, or whatever left over to do some other things with, give or take. Okay. So here's the thing. Let's pretend for a second.

A good way decision- making tool that i use in our house sharon and i use this all the time is if it was already done would we undo it meaning sunk cost analysis is what it's called okay and this comes from the harvard investment newsletter uh where the the teacher in the investment class would say, if you ever use what you paid for something as your reason for keeping it, then that's using the wrong analysis. And the class was taught to yell out sunk costs. The only reason you keep something is that you like what it's going to do in the future, not how we got here.

Okay? That's a proper analysis of an investment, but it's also the proper analysis of possessions. Okay. And so if I'm looking at a boat in my driveway that I haven't put in the lake in four years and it's worth $10,000 and I say to myself, if I had $10,000 piled in the middle of the table, instead of boat would i go buy that boat and the answer is since i don't use the boat anymore would obviously be no right so that tells me it's time to sell the boat that's a sunk cost analysis if i didn't have the boat and i had the money instead which is what happens if you sell it then would i would i go buy the boat and if i and in my case we have boats

and we use them every summer. We love to ski. We're a lake family. And so if you said, if I didn't have that boat and I had that money, would I go buy that boat? And I'm like, yeah, I sure would. Then I don't need to sell my boat because I like it is what we're saying. So let's reverse this and say your house is paid off. This is to your husband.

Your house is paid off this is your to your husband okay your house is paid off you have a hundred and twenty thousand dollars in a checking account to do renovations with go on a trip with or whatever it is you described a while ago you're going to do with the extra if that were the case and you have the opportunity to buy this property that you don't, that you currently own and you didn't own it, but you had the opportunity to buy it and put down to, you'd borrow money on your house. You take the money out of your checking account and you go buy this house to put down two or $300,000 on it, $250,000 on it. And, and we're going to have a $500 cashflow. And this is the house we own.

Would you do that? And his answer is going to be no. He's shaking his head right now. You nailed it. That's what you did. He's shaking his head what? He's shaking his head. You're right.

He wouldn't buy it. He wouldn't go buy it because the only reason he's keeping it is not because he's in love with the future of it. He just doesn't want to give the government any money because he hates them. And I agree. Okay. But I get the emotion. But that's not the reason for keeping the house.

The reason for keeping the house is it makes a better future for us. And nowhere in your description of why he wanted to keep the house was that. That's how I knew he would sell it. That's how i knew he would sell it that's how i knew he would sell it so it's sold and the only bad part about this conversation angie is you win you set us up you set us up and you still won and we knew it was happening so this was a great experience we're so glad you called oh thank you guys i love you both thank you so much we love you darling thank you for calling that was good marcus mark is with us in knoxville hey mark welcome to the ramsey show

hey mr ramsey thank you for taking my call sure um i had uh had an uncle pass away and uh i got uh i was notified that i have a beneficiary ira in my name an inherited ira i'm like inherited IRA. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just looking at the paper. Yeah, yeah. And for like around $56,000. And so I was just calling to see like what I should do with it. I talked with the person there and they said, I'll be taxed. Like I can leave it in there. It'll grow tax free for 10 years. But then after that I'm required to take the money out and then it'll be taxed. No, it's not exactly true. It has to be liquidated 10% a year for 10 years.

Gotcha. Okay, an inherited IRA, you have 10 years to undo it and you have to do it 10% a year. So $5,600 each year for 10 years comes out and is taxed. That is the longest you can leave it in. You can also just take it all out today and pay the taxes. How old are you? I'm 26.

What do you make? I'll make about, like, I'm on contract now, but like $110,000 a year. Good for you. What do you do? I'm a software developer. Good for you. Okay. Well, we want to honor your uncle's memory,

and what a wonderful legacy that he's left to you, and I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you. So are you asking what you should do with it? Yeah, I'm like, what? I didn't know, because I didn't know from like taxes. Should I just leave it and let it grow in there and take that minimum, like you said, that I have to take out per year and let it grow?

Or is it like cash out, like just cash out everything? Like what? Do you have any debt? No, I don't. Good for you. Very good. Okay. Do you have an emergency fund of, I don't. Good for you. Very good. Okay. Do you have an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses?

Yeah, I do. Good for you. You're doing good, man. Well, I would make sure that the money is invested in good growth stock mutual funds and learn about those. Sit down with an investment advisor. If you need one, you can find them at SmartVestor Pro that we recommend at RamseySolutions.com, clicking on SmartVestor Pro. And then I would leave it.

You're going to be required to move 10% out a year for 10 years and be taxed on it. But I'd leave it. Keep the government's hand off of it as long as I can. This is The Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personalities, my co-host today. Thanks for being with us. Kelly is in Oakland, California.

Hi, Kelly. Welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Thank you so much for having me. Sure. What's up? Okay. So my husband is a guarantor on his mom's mortgage. It's not under his name, just the guarantor. We did a cash out refinance of her house prior to her creating a living trust for some home improvement projects with the verbal expectation that she would put the title in my husband's name upon her passing. However, without me knowing, she threw in an additional clause that if we ever sell the house, we would be required to pay half of the profits to his eldest son, who is currently 20 years old, even though we have two additional babies under two years old. This clause was thrown

in after the loan was approved. We've already thrown $100,000 of our own money cash into the house. The house is worth, as of right now, conservatively $1.25 million, and the current loan balance is a little under $400,000. So my question is, is now that we are out of um baby step two is mama dead and um mom mom is unfortunately going through a lot of health situations and is she mentally competent yes she is okay your husband her son needs to walk into her room with fresh papers and have this fixed she was in that was unethical not fair and dumb and she needs to fix it and she can do that with a signature if your husband will make his mother do that okay what happens if she doesn't? Because we don't know, yeah, we don't know what to do if... I want her to sign it away to a charity.

I don't want anything else to do with it. I want it sold and given away to a charity. I do not want to wreck a 20-year-old irresponsible person's life. Because you know what an irresponsible person with $400,000 is? Really freaking irresponsible. Right. Dumb grandmother. D dumb grandmother dumb dumb dumb grandmother right bad grandmother bad grandmother bad bad bad bad bad bad do you have any insight as to why she did this um so she she wanted to make sure that, um, her grandson would be taken care of when she's gone.

Yeah. It's an act of love and she, she was dumb. That's why she did it. She has an improper view of what love looks like. Yeah. She needs to, it's dumb. It's just, you really, your husband allowed this. I'm angry with him too, because his mother has told him what to do way too many times he's way too grown up for

this mommy said and then mommy did and he didn't say anything about it because mommy mother dearest nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope and you're mad at her and you need to be mad at him because he allowed it you know i'm kind of mad about it yeah i don't blame you it's easier to be mad at her because she doesn't live in the house with you but yeah but he's he's the one that allowed this to go on and while he put his name on the loan i mean that's just unethical on her part and on his part very weak to allow this to go down does she not trust your husband no she just had a fit of stupidity and put it on paper i'm telling you it's not i don't think it's deep stuff here well i i think there is a little bit of untrust um before we got married he was very bad with money and since then we've turned everything around. All the baby steps got out of the box. As if giving it to a 20-year-old fixes that.

Yeah, what are you going to do? Yeah. There's a lot of control issues mom has. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's spoken like somebody who really loves their husband, but man, you're more mom than you are wife. Yeah, he he needs listen saddle

up saddle up he needs to march right in there and say mom this was wrong i went along with it i shouldn't have and i'm not going along with it so here's what's going to happen you die i'm going to sue the trust and ask the judge to undo your stupidity if you don't undo it with a signature right now because giving a 20 year old-old $400,000 that's irresponsible with money is absolutely asinine. Because it's going to cause more problems than blessings. Yeah. Okay. It's not a blessing.

What does a cocaine addict do when they get more money? More cocaine. What's an irresponsible person do when they get more money? More cocaine. What's an irresponsible person do when they get more money? More irresponsible. What's a generous person do when they get more money? More generous. Money magnifies our good and bad parts that all of us have, me included. And, you know, what does Dave get?

More things with loud mufflers. You know, I mean, what, you know, redneck. I mean, you know they're redneck i mean you know what but i mean everybody's got right that so so let's let's back it up let's say grandma did this perfectly and there's only one kid is the right thing to do is to put it in an in a trust yeah yeah that has yeah multiple multi-year payouts on it yeah yeah and different different different triggering mechanisms that indicate responsibility like you know if he's going to college i would graduate college if you're gonna go to college you need to graduate college that's a triggering event you need to uh be 25 and not be

deeply in debt you know and a triggering event you know and so some level of maturity i'm not saying all 20 year olds are doofuses she said her 20 year old was irresponsible the mother just said that okay so i'm that's what i'm going off of so well he's been had a ringside seat to his dad by the way i've been irresponsible when i was 20 you didn't give me 400 grand that'd have been a bad idea would have been the worst idea i've been a lot of loud mufflers and beer involved yeah yeah it's just a bad idea no i'm not saying that everybody but but and they're there we've had 20 year olds on this show that were more responsible and had their crap together more than a lot of 60 year olds so can't can't it's not an age thing but whatever you are

good or bad is going to be magnified and when you're gifting or doing inheritance you need to structure it to ensure that you're being a blessing and not magnifying stupidity. And let's go one step up the river here. A mother that would do this to her son last minute, dishonestly, behind closed doors without telling them, has done this crap for years. She's a controller. And if you are married to somebody like this, you've got to speak and if you are married to somebody like this you've got to speak

up if you're married to a coward who won't speak up against his own mom or her own mom or own dad or his own dad and say we as a family are not getting into this deal and let me tell you this is not a coward in the sense of lack of courage this is i don't want to put up with the crap yes this is going to unleash when i bother to have a conflict with her because all conflicts with her don't end well he just doesn't want to screw with it i mean that's a different kind of cowardice i don't because i know it's you know when i walk into the forest with the bear i'm going to meet a bear i mean he knows what he's got he's dealt with it his whole life so it's not cowardice like he's a little wuss that's not the point he's like it ain't worth the fight screw it that's where he is but it is worth the fight we spent a hundred thousand dollars

it was all money of your own money and 400 going to an irresponsible 20 year old it's worth the fight it's worth the fight it's worth calling her out and oh by the way you signed the note that's what i mean doing business you know you know some point you got to go it is worth the fight but this is a this when we say coward we're not like sniveling yellow bellied in the corner sucking your thumb coward this is just i don't want to deal with the pain in the butt that is mom when you confront her but the other side of that is it's your job to protect your kid exactly and yourself and your family yeah so that's your job you know so this whole thing comes at you you go you know what i'm not signing that no yeah we're not gonna do that

we're not gonna do that no it's not not an option you want to do the deal we're doing it my way yeah we'll do it my way or or not at all it's okay and i also understand hey there's a million dollar house we're gonna have this much money i'm not worth losing my family over not worth burning everything down the whole dad gum and dave you spoke with for with such insight that it's almost as though you've seen this before 30 years of doing this yes yeah yeah a couple times parents and grandparents who try to bless their their lineage and then you know the worst one i ever had early on on this show i took a call from a grandfather who was sobbing and he was he was uh 89 years old and he had co-signed for a 30 000 pickup for his grandson and it got repoed

and they were coming after his farm because he had no money but he had a farm oh no and they were going to take the 89 year old's farm for the reposition on the pickup. And nobody in the family gave a crap. He thought he was helping his grandson by cosigning. And I'll never forget that 89-year-old crying on the air. This is The Ramsey Show. Did you know over 18 million people listen to The Ramsey Show every week? A lot of those people listen on one of our 600-plus radio stations across the country. To find a station near you, go to ramsaysolutions.com slash show.