The Ramsey Show - App - Owing Your Parents Money Is a Bad Idea (Hour 3)

Episode Date: July 8, 2020

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🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I am Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us, America. Open phones at triple eight eight two five five two two five my co-host on the air today rachel cruz ramsey personality and number one best-selling author a couple of times over bonnie starts off this hour in wisconsin hi

bonnie how are you hi dave and rachel how are you today great how. How can we help? I have a question on life insurance, everybody's favorite topic. My husband and I each have a whole life insurance policy. I'm sorry. My dad was an insurance agent, and 30 years ago, he wrote a policy for my husband when we bought our first house, and I had enough insurance from when I was little that my dad wrote for me, so I had enough to my work and through my own that covered me. So his policy is still in effect, and 10 years ago, we built a brand-new house, and at that time, we took out a whole life policy on me to cover the loan for the house,

and I wish we wouldn't have done that after listening to you. I wish you would have took out a term. But we also took out a term policy on my husband that just expired. So currently we have two policies, in fact, one on myself and one on my husband. And the one for my husband now, since it's been in effect for so long, the monthly payment is being paid by the interest rate that we have on it. Does that make sense? Okay. And on my policy that has come due now, I pay it once a year. It's a very high premium because I took it out at a later date

because I just retired last year. So it's a very high premium. How much money do you all have? Pardon me? How much money do you all have? We're debt-free. Yeah, how much money in your nest egg? Probably close to a million. Okay, and your house is paid off and your kids don't live at home? Our house, we paid off last year before I retired. Okay, is your husband retired as well? I'm listening to you your husband retired as well yes he's retired as well okay so let's run out of scenario scenario number one you die with no life insurance and you're left with a paid for house and a million dollars are you okay yes congratulations you have become self-insured

so both of these policies i should just cancel and take out the cash value? Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Wow. Now, let me walk you through on his because it's a little bit more confusing. Yes, it is. The situation is there's enough cash value that if you took that cash value out and invested that into a mutual fund, you could buy ten times as much insurance off of the gains from that mutual

fund as you have now. So you're not really getting a good deal. In other words, there's enough money in there that at a very low interest rate, they can still pay for his little policy. Right. So what's the balance in that thing? So the policy itself... No, the cash value. When you so the policy itself no the cash value when you close the policy what are they going to send you 50 000 okay so now you have a million and 50 000 in your investments oh and by the way if he dies right now you know what happens at 50 000 it's gone exactly okay you get the key you only get the insurance you don't get the cash value. Yeah.

So you have a savings account right now that is providing you free life insurance, but when you die, they keep your $50,000. And providing you for insurance that you technically don't need. Yeah. Not that you've learned in the school. Yeah. Yeah. Truly, it's true.

But it's like you pay on the stuff and you pay on or pay on it's like okay enough is enough i know it's kind of like you still got insurance on a boat that you sold two years ago it's a little bit what it's like i mean you know so that that's it's not quite that bad but it it's almost that bad. So you have done such a good job, millionaire. I'm so proud of you. Well done, you guys. You're everyday millionaires. Started from nothing.

Your house is paid for. They got a million dollars in mutual funds. And there is no need in life insurance that goes on forever except your agent's need for a commission. That's the only thing that goes on forever in life insurance. So I would cancel both of them if I woke up in your shoes. So there you go. Now, full disclaimer, I'm in a better situation than that financially, and I still have life insurance.

Why? Why do I have $2 million on me or $3 million on me or whatever it is? Because of SWI sharon wants it and so that money she would rather me spend that than she would have another diamond and so whatever but it's a complete no reason to do it from a financial planning perspective it's only a gift to my wife just because she wants some extra money as if she wasn't going to be more than okay anyway it's completely illogical just in case can you tell i'm a bit aggravated just in case just in case but and term i mean maybe not at your age i was gonna say it's so cheap though it's an expensive term on the old man when he's old

yeah he's old old winston i just just upped ours uh a few months ago and i still was shocked by how cheap it is and granted we're young yeah you're just little puppies we're younger little puppies little puppies they don't charge much for but But really, the terrible product that whole life insurance is versus what you get with term, how inexpensive it is, go term. Go term life. It's a big deal. For those of you that haven't heard this in a while, for what you can spend $100 a month for in whole life, the same exact face amount that you get when you die, you can buy for

$5 a month. That's how it's 95 you know it's 20 times higher 20 times higher for for life insure for whole life and what it does then is it builds up a savings inside of it called cash value that when you die they still only pay the face value the savings that you paid extra for all these years, they keep it. And so it is absolutely the payday lender of the middle class. Car leasing, car fleecing, and whole life life insurance is the middle class payday lender. The lottery, the payday lender gets the poor area of town. The pawn shops, the rent to own, they get the poor area of town. Middle class, the whole life agent, the car lease. they get the poor area town middle class the whole life agent the

car lease it's the worst things out there and so if you just look around and go you know what are people that have that have studied you know here here's the thing no one writes articles saying whole life is good no one anywhere in the financial world except the people that sell it every one of the rest of us say it's trash. And I don't sell either one, so I don't care what you buy. I endorse a term insurance company I've had for 20 years called Zander Insurance because I believe in term life insurance. And go to zanderinsurance.com and get you a quick, easy quote,

and you'll be amazed how cheap it is, like Rachel and Winston were amazed at it. But I don't make money per policy over there at Zander. Okay. I don't own any part of that. I'm not in the term insurance business. I'm not in the life insurance business. I don't care what you buy. It's not going to affect my pocketbook. But you know, what I want you to just learn to do is be smart about it. And so that's the smart thing to do. So it's real simple. Whole life. Never buy it in your whole life. It's easy to remember that way. This is the Dave Ramsey Show.

No matter what time of year it is, focusing on your family's financial plan is always a smart move. I get questions all the time about where to start and what to do first. One of the most crucial and affordable first steps to take is to protect your family and get term life insurance. I know it's not glamorous, but all the other steps mean a lot less if something happens to you and your family has no financial protection. Getting term life insurance needs to be a top priority. I recommend 10 to 12 times your income and lock in rates for 15 to 20 years. This gives you plenty of time to get out of debt and build wealth. I've been recommending Zander Insurance for over 20 years and they

understand and live this strategy and will take the time to help you find the most affordable term life rates. Go to Zander.com or call 800-356-4282. It's not that expensive, it's not the month and you have no idea where all your money went is my co-host, Rachel Cruz. Open phones at 888-825-5225. If you ever get to the end of the month and you have no idea where all your money went, well, it feels like as soon as the money comes in, it goes right back out. Here's the thing. If you want to take control of your money,

you have to be the one to tell it what to do. And that means getting on a budget, giving every dollar a job every single month. The best way to do this is with our new Ramsey Plus membership. It gives you all of our best money products, including the premium version of our budgeting app, EveryDollar. And that's where you'll make your budget, track your spending clearly. And in Ramsey Plus, of course, you get Financial Peace University. And, of course, you get the new Baby Steps Tracker app.

And, of course, you get a whole bunch of other things. To do a free trial with all of that stuff, a free trial of Ramsey Plus, all you got to do is text the word BEGIN to 33-789. BEGIN to 33-789. Begin to 33-789. Chris is with us in Texas. Hi, Chris. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, how are y'all? Better than we deserve. How can I help? Yeah, well, first I got to say it's an honor to be on y'all's show. Love listening to y'all, and I've done y'all's Financial Peace University and love everything y'all do for us. Thank you.

Yeah. So to kind of keep it quick and simple, my mom is turning 61 this year. She doesn't have anything saved up, no retirement plan. She doesn't make much money. She does have a W-2 job now where she makes about $25,000 a year. And this year she started receiving widow benefits. So that's about $1,600 a month. Kind of my question to y'all is if y'all have any advice on how my sister and I can kind of help guide my mom through really getting onto a budget and kind of preparing for retirement when that time comes.

Because right now I've tried getting her to do the Financial Peace University. I've told her she lives in Houston, so we're about three hours away. And I've told her I'll pay for her to do a financial peace university down there if she would just go to it. And it's just kind of like pushing on a brick wall, you know? Family is a tough relationship when it comes to money because, you know, as her kids, you and your sister are probably realizing, oh, wow, we're going to have some of this responsibility possibly coming up in the future. And I think for me, sitting down with the parents and coming at the perspective of, hey, mom, listen, we just really, we want to love you well and talk through what this dynamic is going to look like.

Like, let's just fast forward 10 years. What are you thinking, Mom? Like, what are you processing when you're 70, when you're 80? When are you going to want to retire? What's happening? Because there are going to be these results and effects that are going to come into play soon for her, and she needs that reality.

So have you guys had very stark conversation like that? Yeah, we've talked some about it. Anytime I go to visit her or we're at a family gathering and everything, we talk about it. And between my sister and I, I'm the more like budgeting and kind of setting up for retirement in the future as far as it goes with money. Um, and, uh, so I kinda, I kinda start those conversations. Um, we've, we've touched on them, but we haven't gone into a, uh, into a deep dive. And I've already mentioned to my mom that at some point we're going to have to actually set aside a time to do a deep dive into her financials, uh, as far as go through her bank statements and see like where she's spending her money and try to set her up on a budget. And I've kind of talked to her

about, you know, I mean, her social security paychecks that she's getting right now is $1,600 a month. So we need to try to keep her monthly budget as close to that as we can and try to save everything else that she makes from her w2 job uh so we haven't had a deep dive into the conversation yet but we definitely talked about it what is she what's her what's her objection why does she not want to address this uh it's not necessarily that she doesn't want to address it it's that she has never been, she has never been a, uh, budget friendly person. Um, like whenever my dad was still alive, uh, he was, he would have to basically hide money and kind of stash away money to kind of keep her from spending everything. Uh, she's just never been good with money and she recognizes she has a problem with it but it's hard for her to

actually step out and do it she's become i guess comfortable and where she's at if that makes sense yeah this is this is i mean one of the ones we were talking about kind of in an earlier call people that aren't asking for help forcing them to change but they're i mean there just comes a point chris where you know she has to understand and realize that's that this that this age is coming i mean like she's coming to a point where she's not going to be able to work and she doesn't want to work her entire life yeah you've just got to decide how rough you want to get with this i mean how tough you want to get on her um Because it sounds like it's going to take you and your sister hurting her feelings to get through to her because she is so deep in denial

and she's just coasted along and your dad allowed that her whole life. And so she's never, ever at 61 years old had to grow up and had to say there's a finite number of dollars here and I'm going to have to act like I'm in control of it. No one has ever called her on her crap. And so, um, you know, it's almost like an intervention with a drunk or something. Um, so I, I, you know, I don't know how to do that other than you and your sister getting personally, physically in the same location with her, looking across the table and basically, you know, turning up the heat

and getting progressively nastier until she finally hears you and breaks down and admits she needs help and is willing to do whatever it takes. And then you can put your arms around her, love her, and walk with her and help her get the help and help her get what she needs in terms of, and you can take over the budget for her. I don't care, but she's going to have to get out of this denial, and denial is just not a river in Egypt, you know. Hey, man, thanks for the call. Open phones at 888-825-5225.

David is in Oregon. Hey, David, how are you? I'm better than I deserve, Dave. How are you? Just the same. What's up? My question, I work in outside sales, and I put about 3,000 miles in my car per month. My company has a stipend of about $425 fixed per month.

Not even close to enough. Well, then they have a variable allowance allowance per mile and that fluctuates based on the price of gas so i have a relatively newer vehicle oh no i'm getting married in a couple months oh no my soon-to-be wife has a paid for hoopty and my newer vehicle is also paid for my question is should i give mama the nice car yes and buy myself something with more miles on it and look to flip it every year. What's your opinion? Yep, absolutely.

Because this is the cost of doing business. You're destroying the value of a car once a year. So what are you going to destroy, $30,000 or $10,000? Is that the price range you would look for, something about $10,000? Yeah, I'm just saying, you know, my point is you want to lose as little money due to being a road warrior as possible, and that means you're going to drive less car because if you drive a $60,000 car and you turn it into a $10,000 car with these miles, that's not a good plan, right?

But if you drive a $10,000 car and you turn it into a $5,000 car with all these miles, that's a better plan. So you need something that is the cheapest car you can get that will do the job. And let me help you with the definition of do the job. Reliable and doesn't leave you on the side of the road, number one. Number two, you spend a lot of hours in your car, and so you don't need to be driving some little smart car. You'll be in the chiropractor, right? Looking at it as a part of your business. I mean, that's really what it is.

It's a cost of doing business, a utilitarian cost of doing business. If you want a car I drive when I'm cool on the weekends, you can do that and believe it in the driveway. But whatever you're driving, you're destroying. So limit the amount of dollars you burn. You're driving down the highway, throwing Benjamins out the window. Think of it that way, because that's what you're doing. They're not giving you enough to cover what they're making you do. You're losing money on this transaction. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage, they're here. Justin and Sarah are with us with the t-shirts.

Yes, sir. Way to go, guys. Way to go. How much debt have you paid off? $181,456. Wow. How long did this take? 54 months. Good for you.

And your range of income during that time? $86,760 to $114,055. Good. What do you guys do for a living? I'm a school teacher. And I do data analysis for Cigna. Oh, very cool. Very cool.

And so this is pretty cool, y'all. Very much. That's a lot of debt. Very well done. Where do y'all live? Phoenix, Arizona. Oh, yeah. Nice. Well, welcome to Nashville. Thank you. And $181,000, 54 months. That's quite a journey. What kind of debt was this? Well, we had about $7,000 rotating credit card debt. Also $35,000 plus or minus for our cars, for two cars that we had, and then $139,456 for our house.

You paid off your house? Yes, sir. Yes. I'm looking at weird people. Yes, sir. Yes. Woo! It's amazing.

In a little over four years. Yes. I mean, you got with it. That is pretty stinking cool. Like four and a half years. Yeah. Just about. Yeah. Yeah, man. Yes. I mean, you got with it. That is pretty stinking cool. Like four and a half years, yeah? Just about, yep. Yeah, man. Amazing.

So tell me your story. What happened to you guys 54 months ago? So I always thought I was debt-averse, but it turns out I was more interest-averse. As long as I could have a plan for something and just not have to pay the interest, I thought that was okay. In fact, my best friend Kevin coined the term justify. If I could plan something and pay it off, hey, you justified it, you're good to go. So the first nine months was really kind of used to organize the process and understand. I was aware of who you were.

I listened to the radio station occasionally. I read the books. But nothing really stuck. And right around kind of that, we were paying extra on the car, but no real reason why. Just, oh, we've got some extra money. Here's some extra money for the car. Maybe we'll pay down the credit card with no interest. But no real organization to it.

Right. In kind of short order, in maybe a week or a month, I listened to one of your shows where you said that you don't know a millionaire who has made their millions on credit card miles or cash back bonus. That was one of the only reasons I was really keeping the credit card. I'm like, oh, we're getting this money back. We're getting this money back. It's free money. And then I look at the budget probably too often, even if nothing changed. I looked at it yesterday.

We did nothing. I'm going to look at it again today. Find money out of thin air. I don't know. It's the nature of what you do. Yes. Your brain's wired that way. Absolutely.

For whatever reason, I got a wild hair and decided to run our mortgage out through the end of the term. It's not like I didn't know what we were paying. It's not like I didn't know what the interest was. But at the end, I'm like, when I looked at it and really thought about it, we're not doing this. I don't want to pay that much interest. No. We were looking at 20-plus years left.

We're in our 40s now. Yeah. Today's her birthday. Happy birthday. Oh, her birthday. Happy birthday. We had too much time left to feel like we didn't have a lot in front of us. Sarah, when Justin comes and he's like, listen, I'm running these numbers.

I'm seeing all this. I'm ready just to do it. I'm assuming, are you more of a free spirit? Yes. Okay, I know. Your husband very much is more the nerd. I can tell already. Definitely. How do you react to that? Um, it, you know, just looking at the budget, it was kind of a shock at first. Um, I'm the grocery shopper of course. So making sure that I stuck to our plan with our budget on groceries. Um, I started couponing, um, to save us money. Um, I worked also a second job as, uh, for a babysitting service. So I would

do that part-time as well. And just all that work and extra time into it. It was, it was tough at first to figure it all out, but I, I just knew we had to do it. So you got on board fairly quickly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The truth is I didn't bring it to her in the way that you all recommend. Every time I hear the story, the, the, the conversations, it the conversations, I'm like, oh, that was me. Here, we're going to do this. And it wasn't, this is why. No, this is what we're doing now. Let's go.

Yeah. So it took a while before kind of having some of those conversations, I think, for her to feel more comfortable. I know that she was on board, but I don't know that she was like, well, all right, we're just doing something new now. Sure. So four and a half years, I mean, that's a, that's a chunk of time. So what was, what was the hardest time during all of that? Like, what was the hardest thing? Uh, for me, it's just, um, just being able to, uh, make sure that we, you know, kept everything

organized. Um, keeping our, the setting aside some money for our kids for their college and things, just getting a head start on different things, just motivation, keeping that going. Like I said, the groceries, just being able to make sure I stuck to the budget and couponing, and then the extra time that I had to take a second job. Anything else? As we organized the process, it was putting everything in the path and everything in its place. So in the same time as we're doing the paying off the cars,

paying off the credit card, and then really focusing on the house, we hadn't done what we should have done as parents to really help our kids with their future. And so whereas we couldn't help to cash flow 100% of their college, we were able to figure out and participate and walk alongside them with that. That's good.

And still hit this goal. Yes. That's very neat. Absolutely. Very neat. So how does it feel? You don't have a payment in the world. I'll tell you, it's surreal.

If you would have asked me four and a half years ago, I probably would have given you an answer like, we can go to Europe if we want. We can do this if we want. Now, to quote a friend of the show, I feel more focused but not finished. There you go, Chris Hogan. Yes, sir. Now, when I say we have a greater awareness of our responsibility, and when we say responsibility,

a lot of people may look at that as a burden, but it's a blessing now to really be able to focus on, all right, we spent the last four and a half years on ourselves. All right, now what do we do as a married couple, as a family? How do we now focus some of our energy on other people? We haven't really done that. I've not done, I know myself, I've not done as much as I should do. And so now it gives me time to, not like I didn't have time before, but I can learn and really focus some energy outward, which I'm really looking forward to. It's awesome.

I love it. Well, congratulations, you guys. Very, very, very well done. Thank you. Very proud of you. Thank you very much. Excellent work. We got a copy of Chris Hogan's book for you,

Everyday Millionaires. No question, that's the next chapter in your story. You're there, man. Well done, well done, well done. All right, Justin and Sarah, Phoenix, Arizona. $181,000. House and everything. They're weird people.

If you look deeply into your radio, you will see their T-shirts say, Discipline equals freedom. They did it in 54 months, making $87,000 to $114,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream three two one we're debt-free i love it well done you guys very well done. That is so fun. Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com. They have a 100% satisfaction guarantee.

That means even if you mismeasure or you pick the wrong color, they'll remake your window blinds for free. Free samples, free shipping, promos all the time. Use the promo code Ramsey. Rachel, our question. Yes, most of our friends went to college debt-free and don't have any other debt. In fact, they have trust funds or family money. They're amazing people, and literally all of them have been 100% supportive of our journey. We are totally grateful for them and our friendships.

Sometimes it's hard keeping the jealousy at bay. What are some of the day-to-day ways that we can stay grounded and satisfied with our own path instead of comparing it to theirs? Who runs around with trust fund, don't know that's pretty cool but it's different I would say find some friends that maybe don't have that too just have other things in common oh my gosh yeah I mean yeah I mean if that's how do you keep from being jealous of other people's situation yeah well I mean the way your heart sound great obviously you said we're totally grateful for them and their friendships and who they are as people, all of that. So, I mean, I think, I mean, the hard

thing is sticking to the facts and knowing, okay, here's what we have, here's what they have. It's the story. It is what it is. And you kind of have to go to that factual place and find the contentment in your life. But I was joking about it earlier. But for real, though, find people that don't have this, though, that you can do vacation with and you don't feel the pressure to spend the kind of money that you spend as well.

Find people like you, too. Yeah. I think you've got a good heart. I think I would just turn it and say, people that are successful always celebrate other people winning. People who aren't successful tear down other people that are winning. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Our scripture of the day, Proverbs 12, 25. Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad. My friend Simon Sinek says,

Working hard for something we don't care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called passion. Open phones this hour. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host. The phone number is 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Alex is in Louisiana. Hi, Alex.

How are you? Hey, Dave. Hey, Rachel. How are you all? I'm good. Great. How can we help? So here's my situation.

About four years ago, my parents bought a duplex for my brother and I from a trust they had for us. They paid for the house in cash, and we pay them back every month with interest, just like a normal mortgage. But I recently got married. I got married in November and my husband and I are now looking to either throw more money at the mortgage or save for the next house. I was just wondering if you had any advice since my brother and I, you know, it's one mortgage. We just each pay our parents half of it every month.

If I were to pay more money towards the mortgage, do you have any advice as to how to keep track of that? Or is it the property value in our area is going way up too. So I don't know if it would be better to just save money on the side for whenever we eventually need more room and sell now the home you're living in is what is a duplex oh you're living in this duplex yes sir i live on one side my brother lives on the other and your new husband moved in with you obviously he did yes and he didn't have a property? He did not have a property. He was renting. Does your brother live on the other side?

He does. Hmm. A lot of togetherness. Yeah. Okay. Well, this is a well-intentioned gift that has a lot of potential trouble. Right. Because at the time they did the gift or the process, they felt like they were helping

you, and you guys were excited. Both of you were single. You both had a place to live, and you didn't know anybody but your parents. But the downside is, as your lives start getting more complicated and one of you wants to get out of this, or in your case maybe pay it down, it's not structured to where you can. Exactly. And so I would be so radical as to say owing your parents money is a bad idea because the borrower, slave to the lender, and Thanksgiving dinner taste different

even though they're very sweet and they're very noble and they're very well-intentioned. It's still in the air. Being a partner with your brother while you're married is really tough. And living next door and living in a situation that we're kind of splitting it, but legally we haven't and financially we haven't. Right. I probably am not going to get my way in this, but if you and your brother and your mom and dad were sitting in front of me

in a coaching session, I would suggest you sell it. Okay. Was not what you expected, yeah. Well, I was going to ask. It's not what I expected, but I, but I appreciate that. And Alex,

is your brother, is he happy on his side of it? Like, I mean, like, is he wanting out? Is there like a team thing that you guys have the same common interest or is he good? So,

no, I mean, to be honest with you. So he's the older brother. Um, we're only two years apart, but I just feel like, I feel like the older sibling

a lot and before i even got married i mean i just feel like i take care of everything and i'm just good at that my nature so so i mean i think he's content i actually had started a conversation about what it would take to buy him out there you go over very well okay it didn't go over very well though so like i just stopped my dad i told my dad i was like you know i i think i either want to buy him out or sell it there you go and he's like well you never realized it's your brother you know like you're gonna have to like that's a really yeah but you don't have to you don't have to own a duplex with your brother to be nice to your brother right i just um i don't know i feel a little stuck like i i i you were i'm i'm impressed you were already ahead of me

you already were talking about selling it before you called because you were feeling the incongruency the you're feeling the the weirdness that's in the air and it's pulling at you from about four different ways and you know and so and you weren't liking it already well yeah and i the thing that only the only thing that makes it hard is i love this house like we are in the a hot spot new orleans that's been growing so quickly the property value okay there's a duplex three words down that's on the market for over two hundred thousand dollars more than we paid for our house four years ago wow so you could put a hundred thousand dollars in each of your pockets and go on your merry way i yeah so is that what you're suggesting i mean because i just don't like it i'm in the financial

position to throw extra money at it but if it can't be documented well the problem is if you do that and your brother doesn't there's all kinds of stuff i mean you know there's just no you know you could pay it down but you'd have to separate the note with your parents between your brother has a note and you have a note would be the only way to do that and they would probably be willing to restructure it and let you pay your note off however the property still has a lien on it because he has not paid his half off right and i didn't have to buy him out anyway yeah exactly and so somewhere along the line something's going to happen here so i think that this is again, I think everybody wanted to do a good thing,

and if you get out of it before it causes all kinds of problems, it'll turn out to be a good thing. But the best way for this to be a blessing for everyone is to put this house on the market. And then go get you something. If you want to stay in the same neighborhood, that's fine. Take your $100,000 and go buy you and get a mortgage that's not with your mom and dad and pay it off in your new husband as fast as you possibly can. And that's exactly what I would do.

It's exactly the plan. It's so hard, though, because I feel like with families, and again, like you said, parents, there's such good intention. There's such goodwill about how, but you have to think long term. And in that situation, you know, when you're, that was four years four years ago well mom and dad are going well i'm getting the interest which is more than i would get over at the bank right and i'm helping my kids out but they don't think about the fact that the borrower is slave to the lender and it changes the it changes the tone the tenor the look tone feel of the relationship yeah and i don't care how sweet the person is

you are still their master they are still your slave and how well intentioned they are and so um we do not loan people money especially people that we love uh and uh you know if if they want to help you and they've got some extra money want to give you some money that's perfectly fine i've done that and i'll do it again but uh but i i'm not gonna loan someone money because it's changes the relationship the old joke is if you loan your brother-in-law 200 and he never speaks to you again was it worth it you know because you know it's going to screw up the relationship right right i mean you think about the friend in the coffee break room, and you loan them 50 bucks for a payday. And what's it do?

They were the nicest, and everybody was happy together, and all of a sudden their whole personality, their body language changes everything. And that happens to varying degrees, but that's the process. And so, yeah, that's the plan. And I hate it. And you're just going to be very gentle. And it has nothing to do with you. It's I got married and I want to have my own space.

And I want to have my own life. And this interwoven thing with my parents and my brother doesn't feel healthy. And I just love you guys and I don't want anything to come between us. And so you couch it that way and say, we selling it yeah we're selling it or you're buying me out or i'm buying you out one of the three doesn't matter you choose and it hasn't got anything to do with i'm mad at you it's i don't like where i am and i have a say here i am half owner in this thing and oh by the way you don't even have a partnership here. I am half owner in this thing. And oh, by the way, you don't even have a partnership agreement

that gives you the right to force the sale. So technically, if everybody bows up, you'd have to go to court to force it, which would be a real pain, obviously. Ugh, what a mess. Well-intentioned things. That puts us out of the Dave Ramsey Show and the books will be back with you

before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. This is James Childs, producer of the Dave Ramsey Show. Once again, you made the Dave Ramsey Show one of the top four most popular podcasts last year. To get your daily dose of motivation and inspiration from the Ramsey Network, subscribe or follow today wherever you listen to podcasts.