The Ramsey Show - App - Paint or Get off the Ladder! (Hour 1)

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Delony answer your questions and discuss: "I'm running out of money to fight for custody",  "When should I pay off the house?" Financially planning for a baby, from the blog: Having a Baby? Don't Forget These Expenses Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Take our FREE 3 minute assessment: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the pods, moving, and storage studios, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Open phones this hour as we talk about your life and your money. It's a free call, and some say the advice is worth exactly what you pay for it. The number is 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225.

Dr. John Deloney, number one best-selling author, Ramsey personality, and host of the Dr. John Deloney Show, a very, very popular podcast on the Ramsey Networks, is my co-host today. So we're going to be talking with you. Again, 888-825-5225. Ben's in Salt Lake City. Hey, Ben, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hey, Ben. Sorry, hey, Dave and John.

Thank you for your time today. Sure. How can we help, sir? Hey, so I'll just try to skim over the top real quick. I am a full-time single dad, and I was on baby step two when I got sued by my ex for custody. And so I put everything on hold, been trying to cash flow through the process that started back in September. And I'm basically starting to run out of money. And I know there's a lot more expenses coming up. I'm looking for a way to be able to do that because I don't want to lose my son. And, um, uh, I'm,

I'm trying to decide whether to take a loan or, or if I, if I can go on anymore, you know what I mean? So. What's the basis of the custody suit? Um, she just, uh, so she was on the other side of the country and she just wants to um basically flip it uh she um she said he's not you know uh been treated well and and he's struggling and and things like that but he's he's he's doing very well with friends in school, and he's being taken care of. So that's her argument for it, but her attitude is basically she's going to –

we've tried to work it out outside of court, but nothing – I would be very surprised if she changed her mind on that. Man, I'm sorry. How long have you been divorced? It's been about three and a half years. Where did she get unlimited money? Her new partner is very wealthy. Okay.

And I think that's where a lot of it stems from is the pressure from her new partner because it's kind of out of character for her to really go for this. Okay. Well, here's the thing. How much are you talking about borrowing? About $15,000. What happens when that runs out well I've had a family member say that they would

give me a loan but like you say Thanksgiving what happens when that runs out yeah I don't know so we really have to address this issue because all you're doing uh it's not like you're going to win all of a sudden with 15 000 more or if you take out another 10 000 from a relative after that at the end of that it's not necessarily like you're going to win so it's not it's not a i'm going to lose custody if i don't take out a loan it's i don't have a good strategy to end this if you could tell me that you could take out a fifteen thousand dollar loan and 100 beat her and it's over you know i'm not going to tell you to choose your kid over you know getting in debt i don't borrow money i find a way around it but what's happening here is that borrowing money is allowing you to continue in a process that's not got an end to it

because the party on the other side's got unlimited funds right yeah so if you can get some kind of assurance from an attorney that this is going to draw to a close there's one more course of action. It's about this many hours, and we're going to be able to wrap this up. That's one discussion. I'm just going to keep fighting until I run out of loans and they never run out of money. That's not a process that's good for you or anybody, except the lawyers.

It's good for them. Have you tried to roll this into mediation? And the reason I asked you why she was suing you, cause outside of some egregious abuse or something else, these things are often handled offline in mediation, which has a, an end point and a dollar amount attached to it. Yeah, we, uh, I talked to her about that about a month ago and, uh, and she gave me, um, she just basically, um, told me what she would be willing to do. And it's, um, you know, it's that the, that the custody would switch over and. Yeah. But I mean, that's the point of going,

going through the mediation is one side says, this is all I'm going to do. And the other side says, this is all I'm going to do. and the mediator's job is to bring people together. But in following up what Dave said, the reason I would push for that is because there's some finality to it. There's a period at the end of that sentence. It just doesn't go on and on and on and on. Where is it being heard, in Utah or in her state? In my state. Okay.

All right. Ask your attorney about bringing about bringing this to a close and how have you been funding it so far what do you make a year about 40,000 okay and you've just been funding it out of cash flow yeah and um so you're out of money. Why? I mean, if it were to just continue with all this pre-court stuff, then I could keep going. But I asked my lawyer about how much for the rest of it, and he said if we go all the way through, he thinks about $15,000. Oh, he thinks that's going all the way through.

Okay. Yeah. Which we have a court date and everything set, so. Okay. Then what I'm going to do is take six jobs and work through the $15,000 if that's it. Because that's doable. Okay.

Yeah, I've wanted to do that um the reason why i haven't done that is because uh i also am a student and um to to just help me not anymore not anymore take some time off from being a student right now you're you're fighting a battle for one thing so now what we're saying is we're going to borrow money so we can stay in school indirectly and we're definitely not doing that so someone is trying to take your son yeah that's way more important than being a student and um avoiding debt is more important than staying being a student i also think it's it will it could i don't say will it could serve you in court to say,

I had to stop doing these things because this person is dragging me and my child through the mud. And so I had to stop going to school. I had to stop doing this and take more work on to fund these accusations or this attempt to take my child from me. And I'm going to do whatever it takes to keep that from happening. Yeah. And lean in on your lawyer and say, I'm a guy who makes $40,000. I don't have $15,000 growing on trees. Let's figure out what we can do to clip that. That's a little rich.

So, you know, just fulfilling your lawyer's dreams is not one of my dreams. So... Oh, that's awful, Ben. I'm so sorry. Your face is sick. Sick for you. This is the Ramsey Show.

Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Thank you for joining us, America. We're glad you're here. If you're a new listener and there are a bunch of you, a bunch new viewers on youtube and tbn and uh all over the place all our numbers are up across the board thank you for that a lot of you are trying to figure out some of the inside uh lingo like baby steps and debt snowballs and all that kind of stuff is a simple way to do that just go to ramsey solutions.com click get started and we'll start walking you through the process matter of fact we will show you with the Get Started process exactly where you are financially and what to do next.

And I'll help you with your plan, your journey, the whole bit. Click RamseySolutions.com, completely free. No salesman will call. Completely free. Chris is with us. Chris is in Lansing, Michigan. Hey, Chris, how are you? Hi, Dave.

Thank you for having me. Sure. I am on baby step six and I kind of have a two part question. My job security isn't too great right now. And I wanted to know, should I wait until I get a new job before I pay off my house, and if I didn't do that, what payments should I get rid of to work towards paying down my house? What payments should you get rid of? You have other debt? So, like life insurance, 401Ks, you know, the 501, like the Educate 529 account, tithing. So those are all, you know, things that I pay in towards that maybe I could redirect towards my house.

Okay. No way. Baby step six, we would tell you to keep living your life, and with money you find in your budget, you would pay extra on your house. It sounds like this job thing has got you rattled. Mm-hmm. How long have you been working there? Well, it's my company, so for 20 years. And I have a business partner.

Okay. So you're not going to lose your job. You might lose your business is what you're saying. Yes. If one of us doesn't leave and I'm the main contributor and it's not enough to support both of us. So slowly, my income has gone way down to a point where I can't really afford not to leave. And he's not leaving.

So I'm going to look for something different. What do you do? It's a marketing company. Okay. Are you married to your business partner? No, no, but I am divorced. Did you used to be married to your business partner? I'm sorry? Did you used to be married to your business partner? I'm sorry?

Did you used to be married to your business partner? No, no. Okay. So how is your business partner squashing your ability to earn a living? Because he's not contributing and we're 50-50 partners. So he's not bringing in his side of the business, yet he's taking half of what you bring in. And since he's not bringing any in, the total pie has shrunk. What keeps you from closing the doors and opening a door next door and just doing this on your own and making all the money? Our partnership agreement, I basically wouldn't be able to do that.

You have to buy out. In order to get out, you have to buy out. No, he'd have to buy you out if you wanted out. That's not how our partnership agreement is structured. Our partnership agreement is structured that if you leave, you buy your clients if you were to take them. But I'm looking to get out of this industry altogether and start just a whole different chapter.

Okay. So what are you going to do and what are you going to be making? Well, I'm looking right now, but I'm hoping to manage a team of people and be in sales. And I'm looking at around 200 to 350 okay so um this sounds like it didn't just suddenly occur it's it's crept up on you and you've you've put off making the decision correct you've delayed and so what you need to do is not worry about your house and not worry about your tithe. You need to get on the phone today and get a freaking job, Chris. It's

time to do this. Painter, get off the ladder today. Yeah. You're a year, at least maybe six months late on someone kicking you. And I'm going to kick you right now because i love you get going i'm probably about five years to ten years later okay then then somebody needs to break the fog up so i'm i'm your guy i love you enough okay get going girl okay you're too sharp to be this dumb get going get going let's go go i want you to have this done by the end of April. A new job and say bye-bye. April. Yep. You got a month.

I got it. I'm in the works. I got my resume ready to roll. You need to call me back on the air and tell me you did it. I'm going to hold you accountable. Okay. Okay. And you need to call.

Who is your best girlfriend that's mean say it say her name say her name girlfriend yes you do yes you do okay what about your sister she mean no i want somebody mean i want you to call them and tell them to call you and kick you if you don't do this i want you to declare to the world it's time for you to roar again chris you're meowing yeah i understand i know and you are not a kitten you are a lioness am i wrong understood this thing was built up by a woman and i am a leo this whole thing was built up by a woman of substance this was built by a woman of i am a leo this whole thing was built up by a woman of substance this was built by a woman of substance and yet you have for some reason you have watched this

thing deteriorate and your life with it to the point now you're going i don't know if i need to pay for groceries no you need to get a freaking job i know this is what's going on yeah go get that and all of these other questions go away, don't they? You're 100% right. Ding, ding. That's why I'm here. Hey, Dave. Something I don't hear at home very often, but there you go.

Dave, if you keep answering questions like this, you're going to turn this into a job. Yeah. Now. Right now. We get so stuck in just the day to the day that sometimes it just takes someone looking at you be like what are you doing you can solve all of it all of it just get trapped but you you do need you really need people in your life in your community that are that love you enough to go uh i'm watching you do nothing, and I'm tired of it.

There's that famous psychological study where they took the dogs, and you couldn't do this study now, but they shocked them, and they didn't give them an opportunity to escape. And they had other dogs that they would shock that they would allow to escape. And over time, they would take the barriers off the dogs that they were shocking. The dogs just took it. It was just learned helplessness. This is just the way this is going to be and it just you need somebody to go hey go go you can run and run away then they take off right just gotta get somebody to look at you that's the fun thing

so yeah um we all need that though because what the the fastest way i mean that's classic uh frog in a kettle thing i mean fastest way to boil a frog is turn it up one degree at a time, just a little bit at a time, gradual, gradual. Five years this has been deteriorating, and then you look up and you go, wait a minute, I'm boiling over here. Yeah. And this guy's doing nothing and still collecting half the revenue. Because I'm trapped in a really stupid partnership agreement.

Hey, I hear this happen a lot. People have an imaginary amount of money they're going to make when they leave their job. How tightly do you tell somebody to hold on to that versus get something and then begin to maneuver? In this one, get something and then begin to maneuver. Yeah. But 250 and three, just like I've been doing this job for 20 years, I'm just going to transition. She's high.

She might. She might. She might. I mean, in this current environment where there's such a shortage of everybody high quality white collar people i mean yeah it's she might i don't know i don't know what her skill set is but uh urgency is one of them we got to add back to it yeah yeah there we go this is the ramsey show dr john deloney ramsey personality number one bestselling author, is my co-host today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage. Andrew is with us. Hey, Andrew,

how are you? Hi, Dave and John. How are you doing? Better than we deserve, brother. Where do you live? Keokuk, Iowa. All right. Very good. And how much debt have you paid off, sir? $303,000. Whoa. How long did this take? 49 months. Good for you. And your much debt have you paid off, sir? $303,000. Whoa. How long did this take? 49 months. Good for you. And your range of income during that four years? $37,500 up to $88,500. And I was also doing a part-time job taking about $15,000 a year home. Good for you. What was your part-time gig? Working at a gas station, quick trip, a uh chain in wisconsin minnesota and iowa

working a lot then uh yeah every holiday yeah uh every evening every weekend wow and what do you do for a living day job uh well actually i'm a uh quality control scientist but right as i finished uh my dad i was uh i was laid off um so still looking for a new job there, but in quality control. But now you're $303,000 less weight to carry. Exactly, yep. Good for you. Well done. What kind of debt was that?

$93,000 in student loans, $28,000 for a home improvement, $22,000 for a car, $10,000 in credit card, and then $150,000 for a house. Dude, your debt-free house and everything? I sold the house, but to push it off. Wow. Look at you. Well done. Well done.

So you're homeless, but you're debt-free. Yep, yep, yep. We're renting now, so. Okay. That's all right. That's all right. You're in a really, really good place. Congratulations.

Well, thank you. How's it feel? It feels great. It's amazing. Well, you got wired How does it feel? It feels great. It's amazing. Well, you got wired up about four years ago. What happened? What got you started on this Ramsey stuff?

I had just moved up to Wisconsin in Edgerton, Wisconsin, just outside of Madison. I moved back to Iowa last July. And just one night in November, I was sitting there looking at all my debts, and I was like, well, this is going to take me 30, 40 years, and had to come up with something. And your book was on my shelf. I picked it up, started reading it again. I just remember always seeing you on Fox Business and stuff like that. So just got the fire lit.

So the world's largest coaster was on the coffee table. Yep, yep, yep. Again, just waiting for years for you to open it and do it. Yep. So you reached kind of a moment that night, didn't you? Yeah, I definitely reached a moment, and I was just looking at it, and I was like, you know, this, uh, this isn't a good life. I was just, uh, my, my mortgage was probably 40% of, uh, my, uh, my payment of my, my income and just couldn't, couldn't get there. So had to, had to clear it up. And that's why I got the part-time job. Cause I said I needed an extra thousand a month. So

dude, uh, I say this with all due respect. You you don't you've never made a ton of money yep and we hear people all the time with half or less of this amount of debt making six figures making a hundred thousand bucks and say i can't do it i can't figure out how to do it and you making 37.5 to 88 it's a great it's a great salary but we're not talking you didn't do this making 500 grand paying off three hundred thousand dollars yep um that takes a level of courage and bravery that most of us don't have i'm looking at myself thinking if i made 50 grand i i don't know how i could pull this thing off in 48 months what what got you going uh just just uh just keeping them just seeing that hey there's there's light at the end of the tunnel there. Um, that's a dim light. Yeah. Yeah. My, uh, um, 2019, I didn't, uh, the debt didn't go down at

all. I paid off the credit cards, but the way the student loans were, uh, even though making payments, it's still just didn't go down. Um, but then really got the fire going. Um, big cheerleader was one of my friends, Bjorn. Uh, we would just text each other back and forth and keep each other accountable he's on four five six so i would love to see that text chain i hate my life i hate mine too keep going man keep going yeah actually when uh you guys were having a sale one time and and bjorn and i were talking i said you know this isn't the budget for me right now and uh it was all of your books, and he actually sent it to me as a gift. So that was a great motivation there. Wow, very cool.

Good for you, man. I'm so proud of you. Thank you. Thank you. Other than Bjorn, who was your biggest cheerleader? My dad was a good cheerleader. But, yeah, just kept going there. And he came with you today to cheer you on.

He did. He did. So where are you living now? I live in Keokuk, renting a house for my brother actually okay so okay all right and gotta land in a new position and off we go into prosperity yep absolutely yeah ever go back into that oh no no never again what do you tell people the key to getting out is uh definitely the budget um and just and just sticking to it uh you know there's going to be days where you want to give up but where you're at that point where you gave up you wanted to keep going so just remember why you started and just keep moving forward four years is

a long time yes it is a long time and it's really not that long in the scope of your life no no you know maybe five percent of my life you know if i make it to 80 so uh short short time blink of an eye what do you tell somebody staring like just speak directly to that camera, what do you tell somebody who's staring at $250,000, $300,000, $400,000 and they're not making $350,000? You know, once you get motivated, once you get started, that's when the promotions will come in, that's when the money will come in

because once you clean up one part of your life, other parts will get cleaned up too. Yeah, amen. Well, good for you brother thank you very very proud of you so we've got the live and give box for you the bundle the baby steps millionaires book um that's your next chapter in your story the total money makeover book for you to give to somebody and um maybe you'll be bjorn for somebody in that there we go and financial peace university membership as well so if you haven't been through the class it's time to go through it now make sure you finish this process

out i'm very proud of you brother thank you thank you dave very well done very very impressive good good stuff all right it's andrew from iowa 303 000 paid off in 49 months including the sale of his house for 150 of that making 37 5 to to 88.5 count it down let's hear a debt-free scream three two one i'm debt-free yeah man you know i think uh uh we've always with, obviously, married couples and singles as well for 35, almost 40 years now, walking them through this process. In some ways, being single like him and doing this is easier because you don't have to talk somebody into it. Yeah.

But in other ways, you don't have to talk somebody into it yeah but in other ways it's uh you don't have to you don't have anybody to kick you there's no no accountability there's no camaraderie uh it gets a little you know when you fight for 48 months i can get a little lonely yeah yeah i mean thank you may have bjorn which is backing him up by text and became his community in that process and you got to have that and i don't care i don't care who you are it it's hard to keep eating right for 48 months it's hard to keep exercising every day 48 months it's hard to pay off debt and having having somebody right there with you i think it you're right it's harder to stay on the tracks but man it's easier when somebody's just walking there with you yeah but i mean it's a different dynamic uh to go through this

transformational process to clear the debt to stick with it for a married couple than for a single each one has its own advantages and difficulties so uh like you're not you're you're not uh you haven't got it easier but you haven't got it that much harder you just got a different kind of hard there you go when you're single or when you're married and it's all of it's hard but there's a process and so sometimes it's hard you got to talk somebody into it you know you're dragging along the spouse you're trying to get them involved that you know you just you know you can't seem to get them it's dead weight you're dragging uh and then on the other hand the other way you're like man i wish i had some help here i wish i had somebody you know to tell me to do

this so there's different kinds of hard but it's worth it and but for me watching someone like him that's a particular kind of hero yeah this one's hard I just think back to the time when my wife and I owed six figures and we were living in a residence hall and I we made good money our combined salaries and I didn't know how we're going to do it and to look at to be able to say I'm making 37.5 and I've got a $303,000 hole I'm going after it that's a that's a level of strength and bravery and commitment that inspires me even to this day amen like man there's I don't care how small I am I'm gonna get in the ring I'm gonna hit that dude right I'm gonna try knock him down so the point for those of you that are listening or

watching is you too can do it. We don't go with excuses around here. We don't even go with reasons. You can do it. You can do it. People just like you have done it. We've been doing this a long time. I don't care who you are. Someone like

you has done their debt-free scream. I really don't care. Yes, you can. Now it's time. It's your turn. Ready, set, go. With debt payments and now with inflation stealing more and more of your paycheck, we know a lot of you feel like you're drowning and you're scared to death.

I've been there myself. It's no fun. Doesn't have to be that way, though. You can say, just like our last debt-free screamer, Andrew, I've had it. I'm not living like this anymore. And we can show you how to do some new things with your money that you've never done before that'll cause you to be able to win. There's nothing really earth-shattering. It's basically common sense, but we not only show you what to do, we help make you do it.

It's called Financial Peace University. It's a nine-week, nine-lesson course that'll teach you how to beat debt, build wealth, and be outrageously generous. It's everything you wish you'd learned about money. Nearly 10 million people have been through financial peace university fpu and now they're in control and they got margin and you can too so decide that you're done with money stress decide you're done and you're going to take control start financial peace university at ramsey solutions.com slash f RamseySolutions.com slash FPU. RamseySolutions.com slash FPU.

Jessica is with us. She is in Jeff. Oops, that's not Jessica. Let me try again. Jessica's with us in Jeff City, Missouri. Hey, Jeff. Jessica, what's up? Hi.

Thank you so much for taking my call today. Sure. I'm in a rock and a hard place. I want to have another baby, but I also want to go back to school to get my income up, and we don't really know what to do. Which one do you want more? Both at the same time. Both and.

Why can't you do them both at the same time? We have two children now, and we just got out of debt on the first. So we're trying to build our emergency fund. So we're on baby step three. We have health insurance yeah how much it costs to have a baby like 10 grand no it doesn't not out of pocket it did for us the last two we did you have horrible insurance uh it doesn't cost but 10 grand to have a baby yeah well we there was i was in the hospital a lot with both our kids so um with covid and health issues while i was pregnant so oh okay so we had extended stays it's not just a simple labor and delivery yeah yeah yeah okay you anticipate that this time as well um possibly i'm healthier but possibly

so i would prefer to anticipate it than not yeah that makes sense which helps it not to happen because you're not stressed around that makes sense yeah i'm not as stressed, so that's good. Are you working right now? Yes. Is there a way to split the difference and you and your husband really get fanatical and put $3,000 or $4,000 or $5,000 in an account and just pause everything and store up some cash? Would that give you some peace? Yeah, we can. He wants $30,000 for our emergency fund.

Well, I want a pony, too. And sometimes, you know what I mean? I don't actually want a pony at all, actually. Not even a little bit. That's weird. I mean, you can wish all kinds of things, but sometimes it's going to take a minute to get there. He wants $30,000. you can wish all kind of things but sometimes it's going to take a minute to get there so he wants 30 grand if you had if you had 10 or 15 000 in your emergency fund you'd be well on your way if you want to keep going towards 30 that's fine is that necessary before you had a child no it's not okay um and so but i think you do need to so So the answer is, how are we going to do all these things in order?

Not all at once. When you try to do them all at once, it's impossible because it's overwhelming. And you just simply don't have the bandwidth of time, energy, money to do. Just say, oh, by the end of April, we'll have all of this going. No, you're not. You're not going to graduate from school, have a baby by the end of april it's not going to happen so why don't we just say which one is lee is going to happen later than the other one and i don't care it's your life so i mean like we're gonna have our baby first and during the time that we're having that child the nine month

time frame we're going to finish up this emergency fund and get it up to 15 to 30 thousand dollars during that time and then after the child comes home and i'm able to get back to work and then i'll start talking about going to school or i'm going to put off having a kid to get my degree finished i don't care which one but just decide so it's not no it's not now yeah i just want to i feel like i'm not contributing if I'm not working. And if we have another baby, daycare costs are expensive too. So then I wouldn't be working. So here's what I don't want you to do, Jess. I don't want you to circumvent that concern.

Because that idea that I'm not contributing is something it's in the air. We breathe when it comes to making women feel guilty on, if they choose to go to work, if they choose to stay at home, there's all of this contribution nonsense that is just pumped at you 24, seven, three 65. You have to make peace with that because no degree,

no other kid and another kid, another kid, no emergency fund amount is going to let you sleep at night. Because those aren't the issues. The issue is you're looking in the mirror and thinking, I'm not participating in this household, and that's simply not true. You've got to address that. What's your husband make? $80 to $90.

Does he say you have to be a financial contributor to you? No. Okay. So this is you saying this to you or our toxic culture saying this to you? Me saying it to me. Yeah. So let me give you an example. Okay. Um, 38 years ago, my wife, um, 36 years ago, I mean, my wife went home when she had our first child as a full-time mom and has never worked outside the home since. And one of the reasons that I am a national brand and a highly successful business person is because I don't have to deal with drama at home.

She's the opposite of a drama queen. She maintains the fort and the fortress. She fights off all the enemies. And when I get home, it's a place of peace, not a place that I have to add yet another level of stress. That has given me a foundation to come to the office and fight the dragons every day for 30 years. I would submit to you, Jessica, that Sharon Ramsey is a contributor.

Yes. To our wealth. You see how that works? Yeah. She really is. I mean, that's legitimate. That's not me just philosophically discussing something. There's an actual factual piece of data here that says that

one of the reasons we have the money we have is because i've been able to focus at work instead of having to deal with a bunch of crap with some princess at home and so i call that contributing and uh so you know did she go out and make 10 million dollars during that time no she didn't make a dime during that time, except for consignment sale clothing, which I still can't get her to quit doing. But like, we're still broke. I mean, come on. She still sells our clothes.

Give them away. But anyway, yeah, because she wants to contribute. But yeah, oh, my God. But yeah, that's the thing. So we, you know, we there's mom guilt if you work and there's mom guilt if you don't work right and so that that's what john's and it's coming from the outside in it's coming from the inside out right exactly exactly because it gets it gets planted in you early on and sharon's dealt with that rachel who's a very very busy career woman ramsey personality deals with that uh deals with

it uh you know and talks about it openly you know, I feel bad if I'm leaving to go, but also this is what I'm called to do, and I'm going to go do it. And if I didn't go do it, I'd feel bad for not going to do it. That's right. And so it's like, yeah, damned if I do, damned if I don't. You know, it's just – and so some point you've got to work through that and make peace with it, and then that allows you to decide why I'm going back to school.

That's exactly right. And that order you're talking about, it tends to line that order up pretty easily. Sometimes if you're trapped in a story that you're telling yourself, I'm only worth this, or my only value is this, or I'm not contributing,

there's something really powerful about writing that down and reading that to your spouse. Especially in this situation where there's not a spouse like, man, you need to get off your butt and get a job. And there's two kids and a third on the way, that idiot, that doesn't sound

like her husband at all. It sounds like she's telling herself a story. And he doesn't make a bad income. He's doing fine. Yeah, he's doing fine. Especially you're going to have a mad house of three young kids running around and no one's got a lot of money with all that. That's life. But he's doing well. But i think sit down and tell him that hey i don't feel like i'm contributing let him respond like you did and sometimes there is a sense of peace that we didn't even know was there you know when we were doing it i'm not sure i really grasped it i didn't care i didn't i didn't care but when i look back on it now i'm 100 sure i'm dave ramsey that everybody knows because of because of what she took care of at home.

It would not have happened otherwise. If I had to deal with what some of my buddies have had to deal with, oh, my Lord. No question in my house. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Dr. John Deloney. If you love the show and want a deeper dive on your money journey, we have a weekly newsletter that gives you trending and helpful articles and tips on following the Ramsey way. Just go to RamseySolutions.com today to sign up for our newsletter.

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