The Ramsey Show - App - Please Don’t Do This! (Hour 3)

Episode Date: April 3, 2024

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Девочка-пай Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. He's the number one best-selling author of the latest book, Building a Non-Anxious Life. He's also the host of the Dr. John Deloney Show, which you ought to check out on the Ramsey Networks because it's insanely popular. All right, Scott's in Roanoke to start this hour.
Starting point is 00:01:05 Hey, Scott, how are you? Great. Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure. What's up? Well, I have an 18-year-old son that's starting college in the fall. He's actually transferring from a junior college to a four-year college. And I got to looking into um housing for him and
Starting point is 00:01:28 i thought it might be a good idea good investment to instead of paying the rent that i'm going to have to pay there it's at a it's in richmond virginia and so it's a kind of an urban campus you know so it's an urban setting that it would be better for me to buy a house and rent it out to three of his friends can you think of a worse possible tenant than four college boys um i thought about that you can't get the smell out. You'll have to burn it down. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:02:20 You know, I looked at the exact same thing when our kids, I had three kids go through the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, which is about 200 miles from us. And Richmond's, what, 100 miles from Roanoke, right? 150. 150, okay. I mean, it's out there a ways, a couple-hour drive anyway. Yeah. And so that's what I thought. I looked at the exact same thing. We were making a bunch of trips back and forth to Knoxville in those days
Starting point is 00:02:42 because we had, you know, we had a suite for the football tickets. We had football ticket suite and we had, and we're sort of down there every weekend for football. And that was also to go see our kids and all that stuff. And so what I ended up doing was I bought a condo for me to stay in when I went on the weekends and I didn't let any of them live in it I paid rent for them to rent a house because I didn't want to deal with all the headaches and the liability of what a teen of what a college student could do to hurt themselves or someone else uh doing
Starting point is 00:03:20 ridiculous things that I just have memories of me in college and I didn't want to be renting to that guy and so Scott I was a good kid and I did not make great choices yeah right yeah I know all that to say I I considered what you're doing and I decided not to do it I decided I added in all seriousness I didn't want that as a tenant because I didn't want the liability and also didn't want the headache that it was going to be involved or trying to collect rent from these people and um and then i got to clean up the house and rebuild it and put it back on the market after it's all over and try to sell it and i just decided it really wasn't a good investment because it brought to with it too much risk and too many headaches even though it pissed me off to pay rent because i had
Starting point is 00:04:05 three kids in college never at the same time so we were down there for like a decade plus right and if i'd have you know i had the two girls in there first and then and they were there somewhat at the same time and then daniel would have gone down last um and uh and i and i did have good kids and i don't think they would have torn it up and your kid probably won't tear it up, but, uh, I would have a bit of it me, but, um, or the people I ran around with for sure. But the, uh, uh, I, I made the decision. It wasn't worth the headache that the, the, the juice wasn't worth the squeeze. So I'd amounted to for the risk and everything else, even though I wasn't looking at one
Starting point is 00:04:43 kid, I was looking at really a decade worth and i i would have made some money versus the rent but um but not much for the time and the headspace and the resources it would have taken up to screw with it and i like i think liability is an under um represented risk there a college student does one thing man and sues you as a landlord and and the the risk i mean there's a reason that that demographic is charged so outrageous fees for car insurance they just don't make great choices all the time yeah and again it might not be you might have three good young men living there and there might be somebody visiting you know that comes over one night or somebody's got a girlfriend or something yeah yeah and they fall out of the window or something i mean i don't know it's weird stuff
Starting point is 00:05:29 happens and um uh we just had a story here in nashville of a college kid visiting from another town that um you know uh you know lost his life he was downtown partying and um you know they couldn't find the kid for a while and his parents were looking for him everybody's panicked and he was from out of town and came to nashville to party and did party and then um you know something bad happened and they found his body later and i just that kind of stuff just scares the crap out of me right so i i don't think you can have enough insurance for that so i i don't want to own that property that that kind of stuff something like that weird no i wouldn't do it scott all that to say i don't want to own that property that that kind of stuff something like
Starting point is 00:06:05 that weird no i wouldn't do it scott all that to say i didn't do it i was faced with exactly the same choice and a re and more reasons to do it than you did because i had a longer time horizon 10 years worth of this stuff not and three kids worth not just one but i did buy a condo and i did sell the condo when we quit going down there when i gave up the football tickets and all that and uh made some money on the condo so we quit going down there when I gave up the football tickets and all that and made some money on the condo. So that worked out. But nobody ever lived there. None of the students, no college students lived there.
Starting point is 00:06:32 No college students were harmed in the making of this film. So there we go. Larry is with us in Orlando. Hi, Larry. How are you? Hi, Dave and John. Thank you both for taking my call and for all the help you give other people on the phone call. It's really great of both of you.
Starting point is 00:06:45 Thank you. I have a question. You're welcome. I have a question. My personal history, I've kind of worked smart, not hard. I've worked hard, not smart. And so I divide my personal life financially into two categories. It's a historical term, B.C. before common sense and A.D. after Dave.
Starting point is 00:07:02 When I heard your show, the light bulb came on and I started going as you term it, Gazelle Intense. I'm retired right now. 69. I retired just over 67. Up until about 9-4, I went into that Gazelle mode. I was going crazy, saving up
Starting point is 00:07:20 and working extra shifts, picking up side gigs. So you've got a huge net worth now. Well, I don't really know if it is. Well, how much? What's your net worth? Like, the money I'm holding in the CD is getting 5.6%, $240,000, about $80,000 in my savings, about $80,000 in pre-dave stocks.
Starting point is 00:07:41 Pre-dave stocks make a bunch. They sounded cool. And then in my retirement, it's like, wow, $1,150,000. pre-dave stocks. Pre-dave stocks, they sounded cool. And then in my retirement, it's like, wow, $1,150,000. Yeah, I thought so. So you got a million and a half dollars or so, and you're 69 years old. Cool. What's your question? I feel
Starting point is 00:07:56 now, it's like I've been running, it's like you're running a sprint. You get to the finish line, you cross it, and you stop, and it's like, well, there's still energy left. I got more running to do. I'm trying to be reinvesting that money i've got when it comes out of the cd actually there's a holding pattern sure um you need to enjoy some of it too and you need to be generous with some of it but yeah i'm not going to stop investing uh because i'm really a long time ago i had enough for me i'm now investing for the next generation and the next generation after that.
Starting point is 00:08:26 A godly man leaves an inheritance to his children's children, Proverbs says. So yeah, just keep building it up. It's fine. But you don't have to do it at breakneck speed. It's just being intentional, not intense. There's a difference. And let old Larry off the hook. You've caught up. You've done good. Old Larry's, he's gone. New Larry's, awesome. Good stuff, Larry. Well done. Hey, you guys. Health insurance costs are only moving one way, and that way isn't down.
Starting point is 00:08:54 And if higher costs aren't enough, the wait times to see your doctor are longer, and it's harder than ever to get anything approved through the bureaucracy. So, if you feel like the system is working against you, try a biblically-based alternative to health insurance, Christian Healthcare Ministries. CHM is a health cost-sharing ministry that's helped hundreds of thousands of families like yours take care of over $11 billion in medical bills since 1981. And CHM has also helped them stay true to their values and avoid miles of red tape. And CHM support goes far beyond meeting financial needs. They'll also help meet spiritual needs. Members become part of a family who will pray with them
Starting point is 00:09:39 and for them when they experience a medical event. So listen, y'all, there's no better way to take care of health care costs. CHM programs start as low as $98 a month. So learn more today and join at chministries.org slash budget at chministries.org slash budget. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality is my co-host well if you didn't know it's national financial literacy month and we celebrate that big time here at ramsey solutions because ever since i very first wrote a book called financial peace people have been picking it up and going why don't they teach this stuff in the high schools why aren't we taught this stuff when we're kids and that's a really good excellent comment and so we fixed that a few years ago and we put together a thing called the foundations in personal
Starting point is 00:10:30 finance by uh of course dave ramsey and ramsey solutions and it has now been taught in 48 of the high schools in america and over six million kids have graduated from that class over the years lots of great teachers teach this across amer. So we celebrate National Financial Literacy Month by doing just this. And you know who makes that possible? Great teachers that choose to teach this curriculum. Great administrators that choose to let their teachers teach this curriculum. And then your kid doesn't get out of high school and not understand basics about finance and go make stupid mistakes like most people do, including me. So there you go. One of those great teachers is Travis.
Starting point is 00:11:15 Travis is from Aiken, South Carolina, and we wanted to jump on the phone with him. Travis is one of these hero teachers. Hey, Travis, how are you? Great, Dave. Thanks for having me. And I really want to thank you personally, too. You changed my life and really my family's life. My wife and I have been married for 16 years, and we started working the baby steps pretty early on in our marriage, and we've been debt-free for three years. So obviously, I'm a big believer in the baby steps pretty early on in our marriage and we've been debt free for for three years so obviously i'm a big believer in the curriculum well thank you well thanks for teaching the class
Starting point is 00:11:52 what school do you teach at i teach at aiken high okay at aiken high school in aiken south carolina and how many students are in the whole school uh somewhere around 1100 okay and uh so you teach one class of this a year or what so we teach uh another teacher along with me teaches this class and this year we teach about 150 students next year yeah next year it's going to be a requirement, or I guess it's a requirement this year for graduation, starting with incoming freshmen in South Carolina. Yes, it is. Which is amazing.
Starting point is 00:12:33 Yeah, that's great. And, yeah, so we're going to be teaching a lot more starting next year. I think there's almost 300 signed up for next year. Very cool. Yeah, we've got a ton of new schools coming on board with that new requirement in South Carolina. They're coming on every day right now with us, and so we're really excited about that. So how long have you been a teacher? This is my 20th year.
Starting point is 00:12:56 And how long have you been doing the foundations and personal finance class? We started teaching personal finance at Aiken High probably about five years ago. I think I've been teaching it for four years. But, you know, now that it's a requirement and been adopted by the state, we actually had to go out and have it funded by a guy locally that's a financial advisor that he funded the curriculum for everybody in our county, which is awesome of him. But now that it's adopted by the state, you know, he doesn't have to do that anymore. And it's going to be an option for everybody in South Carolina, which is amazing.
Starting point is 00:13:38 Yeah, that's very cool. Very cool. So you've been doing it four years. That means some of the kids are out in the wild now. They've graduated. They're out being adults and stuff. Any of them ever circle back and tell you a success story, what they learned and what happened? Yes, sir. Well, one of the things I. She really took the, you know, the curriculum talks about paying cash for college and how to do that, how to apply for scholarships and really kind of make that like your part-time job. And this girl took it to heart and she started applying for two or three a week and by the time she graduated she came to me and she told me she had enough um that she was not going to have to borrow any money for for school which is amazing
Starting point is 00:14:33 so she got 50 or 100 000 dollars worth of scholarships i don't know how much she got but she told me she had enough that she wouldn't be borrowing any money she's got enough scholarships to cover cover everything. That's very cool. That's very cool. I'll tag team with you on that, brother. Well done. Well done.
Starting point is 00:14:51 Good stuff. Yeah, and Dr. John, Dr. John, that's one of my favorite videos, too, in the curriculum is when you explain how you made some of your choices going to college. So that's certainly one of the fun parts of the curriculum. Well, I appreciate that. Thanks, man. It's an honor to circle back and be a part of this thing. And as a guy who worked at universities for 20 years, I saw students come in and make some tragic financial decisions and just, and they didn't know. And moms and dads,
Starting point is 00:15:23 they didn't know. They didn't know there was another way to do this and so I appreciate you being a part of changing how the next generation thinks about money. So when the kids come into class they're in a personal finance class they're freshman sophomore junior in high school what's the most common question you get from them? Well there's a part of the the curriculum that talks about you know paying cash for for a car and there's an activity that we do that's in the curriculum that kind of takes you through the steps of of buying that first car and and how to go about it and pay cash and and kind of build up to a car that you want and the first part of the activity is, you know, you're starting off buying kind of a clunker for $2,500.
Starting point is 00:16:10 And they always ask me, I think every class has asked me, like, well, you say you've been through these steps. Why do you drive a 14-year-old car? So that's a question I get a lot. But they really love the activity about about the used car and i love they have lots of questions about that yeah car is a big deal when you're 16 for sure represents freedom i love it that's right very cool travis thank you thank you so much for teaching this class travis is a teacher in aiken south carolina at aiken high school and
Starting point is 00:16:42 one of the heroes out there that's teaching this foundations and personal finance class and the other heroes, the local financial guy there that's been funding and sponsoring the curriculum so everybody could go through. And now, of course, as he said, South Carolina has adopted this and made it a requirement. And so we're signing up schools in South Carolina or one of the approved options for schools to meet this requirement. And we're signing up schools in South Carolina. We're one of the approved options for schools to meet this requirement, and we're signing up schools left and right. So if you're in South Carolina, tell your school they should use ours.
Starting point is 00:17:11 Well, they should. It's the best one, right? So why would you use anything else except the Bentley? Don't drive the $1,400 car. Drive the Bentley. I mean, school's paying for it, so get the best. This is the good stuff. So cool. hundred dollar car drive the bentley and i mean school's paying for it so get the best this is the good stuff so cool hey and by the way we're also celebrating by doing a big teacher giveaway
Starting point is 00:17:30 any teacher that's out there listening be sure and enter the ramsey teacher appreciation giveaway sponsored by ramsey education one teacher is going to win a five thousand dollar vacation and two more teachers will each win a $3,000 vacation. Go to RamseySolutions.com slash teacher to enter. There is no purchase necessary. You don't have to be teaching personal finance to do this. That's not the point. We just want to honor teachers and teachers work their tail off.
Starting point is 00:17:59 And the ones that need a vacation, they need a vacation. Yeah. And Dave, while we were on that call call i thought of the irony of all of this this is now a mandate going across the country where governments are mandating these kids need to learn about money and i thought dave you should make a education product for congress all of them looking at these kids being like y'all should learn how to spend and save money be like yeah and so should you pot meet my friend kettle exactly that would be fantastic
Starting point is 00:18:35 oh that is an irony it would not sell well though uh well, but people would buy it and donate it to the Congress. I promise you. If I just started getting up a little, what do they call it, GoFundMe? An FPU Congress edition. A GoFundMe for just sending all of them Total Money Makeover books. I would get so much money in in the first 20 minutes. The video would be a five-minute video of just your face just shaking your head. No. No. I said no just shaking your head. No. I said no. No. Stop.
Starting point is 00:19:10 No. Just say no. No is a complete sentence. No. Quit. Stop it. These high school kids are off to a better start than some of our leaders. Oh, definitely. Maybe they'll be our leaders. Ah, there we go. Yes. Yes. I can say yes to that. This is The Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today.
Starting point is 00:19:34 Thank you for joining us, America. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Jeremy is with us in West Palm Beach, Florida. Hi, Jeremy, how are you? I'm very good, Mr. Ramsey, and thank you for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So I told my best friend recently that I wouldn't be able to be his best man in his wedding because the wedding is in Brooklyn, New York, and it's not in my wife's and I's budget.
Starting point is 00:20:12 Okay. Okay. Why can't you get in the car and drive up there? Well, I don't know. We got Ramsey, or we have Ramsey, or I don't know. But I trust them. We're in baby step three right now. And also, um, we have three children under the age of 10, uh, two, four and nine.
Starting point is 00:20:33 So leave your wife and the kids at home and go to the wedding. Well, drive up there. I know it doesn't cost anything. Yeah, that's a far drive. I'm a floor. I stay in my little area. You know how you don't like to travel far for work? I don't like to travel far from my home. Okay.
Starting point is 00:20:52 But I don't know if I'm just looking up, like, finding excuses or, you know. Yeah, it's not really your best friend. Oh, well, I mean. He's a friend, but he's not your best friend. Because your best friend, you would already have driven up there yeah you would do anything for your best friend right i know but like i said i mean you don't have to spend ten thousand dollars to do this it's not an expensive thing you're not really hardly spending any money to do it it's just inconvenience that you don't want when is this
Starting point is 00:21:22 wedding it's uh july the middle july this year so why couldn't you take a couple of shifts or work or figure mow some lawns or do something to get some gas money i guess i'm with dave i am doing that now okay i am working over time but you know we're trying to you know pay fill up hey jeremy your wife doesn't like this guy oh she does he was our best my best man but i mean in my wedding five years ago she doesn't like this guy oh i don't i don't say that but okay so then what's really going on because you know this is this is not a money issue. It doesn't take any money to be in this wedding.
Starting point is 00:22:10 He didn't ask you to fly to Spain. No, no, no. But it's just out of my realm of just my little hometown, you know. So I just don't really feel like leaving my kids. Okay, say that. That's it. That's the truth. That's the truth.
Starting point is 00:22:25 It's not my budget not not not budget it's say hey dude i don't i don't love you enough i don't want to be a part of this enough to leave my town yeah that's the truth brooklyn scares the hell out of me i'm staying in palm beach yeah i'm not going and maybe he's your best friend but you're not like yeah i can't even wrap my head around that sentiment like if my buddy's called i'd walk off air right now if i had to like that's just that's what you do but that's not your relationship with this guy and that's okay and now if he was asking you to spend 10 grand and you're in the middle of getting out of debt and you we've had we've had that call over the years you know my you know my wants me to be a bridesmaid and it's a twenty thousand
Starting point is 00:23:00 dollar thing with a ticket and we have to do the brides we have to go to three towns for different bridesmaids things and then we're going to fly to Mexico and and I don't have and I don't have the money to do all that and they're mad at me well that's tough I mean I agree don't do that one okay but this is just getting a car and drive to Brooklyn man I mean it's not it's not like a lot of money and it's it's a long drive and it's annoying and by the way when you have a good friend there's a lot of times you end up helping out i don't want to help friends move but you do it i don't want to help friends whatever but you do it i don't i'll hire a mover same you're not talking about uh but i i mean and you can't use my pickup yeah
Starting point is 00:23:38 yeah you can't no one even asks dave no no that no good i'm glad don't ask but yeah i mean so i i you do whatever you want to do dude but i i'm i think we did boil it down to this is not about a budget you don't want to go it's about you don't want to go that's why that's why i was blaming your wife because i thought you don't want to go but it is you after all i was wrong it's not your wife it's you you you don't want to go and it's not that it's not your budget and it's not that you have to take care of the kids these are that's all mythology you just don't want to go and you know that's cool you can make that decision okay um and and you're fine i'm fine with that if you don't want to go just tell them i don't want to go i don't i can't don't blame the budget don't blame ramsay
Starting point is 00:24:23 don't blame us for that oh god please don't blame ramsay don't blame us for that oh god please don't blame ramsay we get blamed for everything else james is in augusta georgia hi james how are you hey i uh i also am better than i deserve dave and i appreciate you uh taking the call for me our pleasure how can we help sir well i'll boil it down dave um i'm a follower i'm at baby step six but i got a couple of Baby Step 2 NICs I need to take care of. I have two mortgages. One is a rental and one is a primary. And I'd like your advice on which of those to pay off first. If you'd like the numbers, I'd be glad to give them to you. What is in Baby Step 2? No, that's Baby Step 2, right? Those are mortgages
Starting point is 00:25:02 or Baby Step 6? Right. Well well one is an optional um uh spending because it's not my primary oh i got you but no rental property goes in six two so but you say you don't really you don't have any consumer debt left right correct okay cool how much you own the rental uh i own 96 i'm sorry 95 95 How much do you owe on your present residence? My present residence is 196, so that's a 195 payoff. You got any cash to throw at either one of these numbers? I do. I do.
Starting point is 00:25:36 I've probably got about, I want to say 30. I maybe could even pump that to about 50. And still have your emergency fund in place? And still have my emergency fund, yeah. And your household income is what? We're tilting right at about $97,000, you know, pushing that to $100,000. Boy, you've done a really good job, James. Way to go.
Starting point is 00:25:59 Way to go, man. Excellent. Yeah, it's taken a while. But I just don't like having that mortgage i'm i'm a believer in what you do and what you recommend so i know one of those debts has got to go sooner than later yeah my thought was one is a near goal and the others may be a far goal so what do you think yeah i if they were close to equal i always pay off the house first my residence first and that's just risk management meaning if everything goes sideways and i have to lose something that's not the one i want to lose
Starting point is 00:26:30 i want to lose the rental okay so i would always pay off my home first but this rental is a half of less than half of your house and so and with throwing 50 at it you probably knock it out another year and then that would leave a lot of cash freed up, additional income freed up then to throw all of it at the mortgage and be done. So it's okay to do it either way. You're still going to end up, and it's going to take you exactly the same number of months to be debt-free regardless of which one you pay off. No, it's not. Pay off the rental first.
Starting point is 00:27:02 It'll probably get you out of debt faster because the rental income is freed up. Yes. Now, I do like that approach because it is a moneymaker. And I will just let you know that I do have a second rental, and that is a fully paid for 1031 exchange that I managed to do a couple of years ago. So I've got good passive income from both of them. I'm at about $3,500 a month. And what I want to do is just rack and stack all that good passive income onto that rental mortgage and blow that baby out of the water in less than two years. Two years is my goal. Yeah, I think you're probably going to throw $50 at it. It's probably one year.
Starting point is 00:27:41 Right, but I've got to convince the wife of that. Well, you've got an emergency fund beyond the $50, right? I do, yes, sir. So why do've got to convince the wife of that. Well, you've got an emergency fund beyond the $50,000, right? I do, yes, sir. So why do we have to convince the wife? What's the wife's problem with $50,000 in the bank or $50,000 extra? Well, we might want to not go down that rabbit hole, David. I apologize. I'm trying to keep it short for you, but she just has a different, she has kind of a different approach from a different portion of the of the world where she comes from and her priorities um are like east and west if that makes sense to you sure sure yeah yeah now you explain why she's wrong okay oh well whatever talk it talk it through and figure it out but i'm gonna throw 50 at the rental
Starting point is 00:28:24 and stack and pack on the rental and then stack and pack on the house. And you're probably going to be out of debt a slight bit faster going that direction than the other direction. But there's not a wrong answer because either way, in about five or six years, you're going to be 100% debt-free with all three, all the two rentals in your home. It's going to put you in a really sweet position. Hey, thanks for the call.
Starting point is 00:28:53 Our scripture of the day, Philippians 2, 3 and 4. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interest, but each of you to the interests of others. Thomas Sowell says, when you want to help people, you tell them the truth. When you want to help yourself, you tell them what they want to hear. Whoa. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:29:17 Ouch. That could happen around here. We do love people, and yet sometimes we are a bit brutal in our truth-telling because we want to be real sure you hear it for your sake. It doesn't change our lives. It changes yours, and that's what we're here for. All right, Dom is with us in Philadelphia. Hi, Dom. Welcome to The Ramsey Show.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Hello, Mr. Ramsey. Thank you for taking the time to have me on. Sure. I'm three years unemployed. I've been taking care of my mother. There's about 400 grand left to pay on the mortgage for the house I lived in my whole life. I made a promise to her that I would never put her in a nursing home. And I've just been struggling to find the right care in home and just how to keep the house.
Starting point is 00:30:09 My question to you, Mr. Ramsey, is if you were in my position, what's the first thing that you would do? Wow. So you're how old? 23. You're 23. And you've been taking care of your mom for three years since you were 20. What's wrong with her?
Starting point is 00:30:28 She's got Parkinson's. I'm sorry. So it's progressing, I assume. Yeah, it's gotten worse. I mean, at the beginning, obviously, I've been through multiple companies, multiple in-home health aides. I was working out of high school, a little family shop for automotive, and it was fine back then, but it was progressing,
Starting point is 00:30:51 and I saw that gradually she didn't really know what was going on. So how's she doing right this second? Well, now it's just me. It's been me for a while, and if you want something done right, do it yourself. No, that's what I want to ask. I said how is she doing? What's her condition?
Starting point is 00:31:07 Yeah, she's good. She's good right now. No, no, she's not good. Degrading. Yeah. I mean, what kind of condition is she in today? She's at home. She doesn't leave the house ever.
Starting point is 00:31:21 It's just me feeding her with her every day. And, you know, it's hard to move her with her every day and and you know she it's hard to move it's it's on and off the disease um yeah how um how are the bills being paid so uh she was an anesthesiologist and um she has the she took a lump sum of the retirement money, and that comes out of an IRA that she put it into, and that's what's paying the mortgage and everything else. And then there's Social Security that comes in every year, I think to the tune of 20-something, 25.
Starting point is 00:32:03 Yeah. So, Dom, you sound completely drained and exhausted. Uh-huh. Like you're on your last thread. Like you're just down. Your tank's empty is what it sounds like. Am I wrong? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:21 I thought taking on all this stuff, the house and the paperwork and everything, would be easier with the support of the other half of my family, but they don't really want to get involved. What's the other half of your family? My dad's side, the grandparents. Oh, and your dad's gone. Yeah, I mean, they divorced. Yeah, that's what I mean. Okay yeah so you're you're the only child i have a brother but he's in college and how much is in this ira that's uh
Starting point is 00:32:55 deteriorating along with this whole situation about 500 okay all right About 500. Okay. All right. Dom, I think you made a promise as a 19-year-old that you weren't wise enough to make at the time. And just listening to you, it sounds like you've exceeded your capacity to help. And the most gracious, honorable thing you could do for your mom is to get her into a place where they can take care of her. Or hire someone.
Starting point is 00:33:30 I just know how it is in this place. No, it's not. They're not all hell. Some of them do a great job. Or just hire somebody to come in with her money and take care of her. You go get a life. I don't think you can keep going much longer i'm not talking to a guy who has much left gas gas left in his tank yeah it's crazy because you know i i went over
Starting point is 00:33:52 most of the paperwork for some of these companies that came in for in-home health aids you know these people that they hire to do this work get paid less than somebody flipping a burger at mcdonald's So hire one directly. Find somebody who's a nurse and hire them. You have $500,000. Right. Okay. And can I ask you a difficult question? Can I ask you something that's painful?
Starting point is 00:34:21 Yeah. How much longer do you think she has i try and keep her spirits up you know that wasn't what i was talking negative i don't know maybe this is not negative it's facts maybe five five years yeah yeah so you're gonna be 28 and it sounds like this i don't think so she's 74 i don't think so i don't think that this mom wanted this for her son for when he's 28 years old to have done this for eight years i think you use her money to hire someone to come into her house and take care of her and you get back up on your feet and create a little distance uh physically and emotionally from this situation so you'll have a much better head to help her with her care than you do right now you are out of gas young man and you need some
Starting point is 00:35:17 help she's also in debt to the irs How much? $300,000. $300,000? More like $250,000. Well, they can't get the IRA. Yeah. So just spend the money out of the IRA to take care of her. What's the house worth? So last time it was appraised,
Starting point is 00:35:44 it was around $750, around 750 which is like a year and a half ago that's when they'll get their money is when that house sells until then they're not getting anything i want to keep it though i i want to try and at least keep why i mean i've lived here my whole life you don't need that house no no that house needs to go away bro you're trying to do so much and it's noble but you got two guys who've i mean we're telling you can't lift the weight on the bar and we're watching it crush you yeah we're your spotters man don't don't push again okay it's uh you know we want you to win we want your mom to be taken care of. We don't hate her. We're not angry with her or you, you're a noble, very cool, neat young man. That's trying
Starting point is 00:36:31 to do the best he can, but man, the number of sighs that have come out of your mouth, the depth of the angst that is in your voice is amazing. You don't even hear it, but we get as clear as a bell on this end. And, um, man And, man, I think the best gift you can give her is for you to get in a better place. Absolutely. I appreciate that. Yeah. You have got to go get a life. It's time now.
Starting point is 00:37:00 And you don't have to abandon her to do that. You can still make sure she's taken care of, whether that is in a facility or whether it's you just go down to the hospital and say, hey, who's a nurse that works part-time that wants some full-time work? I'm going to hire one right now. And you can hire them as cheap as you can pay a nursing home and bring them in and manage that. And then you step back, get you a job, get you some space emotionally, financially.
Starting point is 00:37:26 I've been unemployed for three years is how you led the call. The lack of dignity in your voice when you said that, even though you're doing something that's very noble and dignified. So you really need to do this for you, and the healthier you are, the stronger position you're going to be in to care for her through these last stages of this disease. I'm so sorry you're facing this. So here's what we're going to do. I'm going to put you on hold and Christian's going to pick up. We're going to set you up with one of our financial coaches at our cost. We're going to pay for it to come alongside
Starting point is 00:38:00 you and walk with you because you're a by yourself doing this. There's no one speaking into your life and you need to get in a good church and have a good pastor with you. You get some people around you that are encouraging you lift up your arms while you're tired like this, brother. Don't stay on this track, man. It's not a good track. That puts us out of the Ramsey show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. you

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