The Ramsey Show - App - Rachel & Ken Help Settle Your Marital Debates (Hour 1)

Episode Date: December 1, 2023

Live Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, this is The Ramsey Show. It's where we help you win in your life, specifically your money, your work, and your relationships. I'm Ken Coleman, joined by the incomparable, the lovely Rachel Cruz. The phone number is 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. Rachel will be taking your money questions. I'll chime in if she lets me. We'll see how that goes.

Always will, Ken. We always want your thoughts. I'm sure you do. And we'll also take your work questions. So your income is your greatest wealth-building tool. Your income, multiple incomes, is the best way to get out of debt and get through the rest of the baby steps. So if you're feeling stuck, you're not where you want to be in your work life

and your financial life is being affected, I'm here to help you on that as well. So we'll take those calls. Let's get right to it. Ross is joining us now in Houston, Texas. Ross, how can we help? Hello? Hello, Ross. You, how can we help? Hello. Hello, Ross. You're live on the Ramsey Show.

What's up? Awesome, awesome. How are y'all doing today? We're having a blast. It's really good to get through to y'all. I've been trying for a couple months. Well, today is your day. What is your question?

So, we kind of got in a predicament where my girlfriend got in a wreck not too long ago. Is she okay? About a year ago. And, yes, she was fine. She almost bit through her bottom lip, but she didn't get all healed up and everything. But we ended up purchasing a vehicle after that out of spite. She went and got a Challenger. And then, uh, about six months later, we found out she was pregnant. So now we have another vehicle and we just kept

rolling bad equity in this one vehicle. And it is now has a loan for about 38, $37,000. And it's only worth about 20, 22. Wow. Um, it's's got a 664 payment per month on it and then uh i also downsized from a truck to a smaller vehicle and got a loan on it like a smart person and um uh it's uh got a note for 405 407 per I was just wondering, uh, like what y'all would do. Well, I have an idea of what y'all would do, but, um, more of the question is how can I get my girlfriend on board to sell this car? If not both cars. Okay.

How much is it? Lower our notes. Yes. Okay. Ross, um, how much do you own your truck? Uh, I do not have a truck anymore. I downsized to a car. Okay. And how much is on that car then? $21,000, $22,000. Okay. Perfect. How much does she make a year?

I don't know the exact on both, but I know our total together because I have the EveryDollar app, so it just shows a total of what our annual income would be, and it's $64,000. And that divvies down to about $5,000 a month. Okay. Hold on. We can answer Rachel's question. What do you make? Out of the $64,000, what do you make?

I make around 36. Okay. Okay. So you guys are essentially making about the same amount of money. Correct. Yes. And I have a quick question for Rachel. I'm going to ask him, but this is for you because you're walking through this.

I'm just curious. The question is how do we get her on board? But you said that she got in a car accident and then she bought a, I think you said a Dodge. Well, he said we bought a Dodge. I want to make sure your name, Ross, is not on her car. That too, but I also want to know what it means by we did it at a spike because I want to know where her head's at on this whole situation. Well, she got, she leapt into a guardrail and then she didn't want to have to pay for the damages. So she just thought about getting a branded vehicle. And it wasn't, it wasn't branded.

It was used, but it was new to her. Okay. So that helps me with her mindset on all this. Okay. Wow. Ross, is your name on her car? The newest one? Yes.

Okay. All right, Ross. So let's just have like a high picture chat here for a second. Because your whole language, you're acting like you're married. Okay. All right, Ross. So let's just have like a high picture chat here for a second. Because your whole language, you're acting like you're married. Okay. Your names are on each other's debts. You're combining income and all of it. And what can happen very quickly, because we talk to people all the time on the show, Ross, sadly, is that there's no legal binding. Like if you guys were legally married, then the risk then is, you know,

it's somewhat mitigated because if a divorce happens or there's separation, right, there's legal action that can be taken. None of that can be taken in this situation. And so I want you to be very cautious. And I know you guys have a baby together and all of it. I mean, you're acting like you're married. So you have to be so careful financially, Ross,

so careful. And I would recommend keeping everything separate because you are not legally married. And this ends up becoming a complete mess. And so are you going to get married? Do you think that, I mean, obviously, I'm hoping she's the one you guys are doing life together. You have a baby together.

Like is marriage in the picture? The bad thing is we don't have enough money saved up to have a wedding so different question ross you can get a marriage license down at the courthouse right like i want i want to do i do want to get married but uh the stipulation is a wedding and because i've already gave like the the jp office you know run at it and it was not taken very well how old are you guys uh i'm i'm 21 and she is uh about to be 23 okay okay so stipulation she has laid a stipulation she's 23 she wants her wedding she's a 23 year old girl i mean this is, this is not surprising me.

I get it, but it's not what needs to happen. No, it doesn't. You're right. And this is not me rushing you. If you guys don't need to get married, you don't need to get married. But I don't want you to keep playing like you're married, especially with money. So, Ross. Oh, man. view, too. She likes the car. She is pregnant. Or is the baby already here? Yes, he is eight months old. Oh, he's eight months old.

So she's a new mom. She likes the car. And you have brought up the idea of selling it, and she didn't like that at all? Correct. Did you tell her why you think you should sell it um i told her that we could all she sees is the money on top so we're not gonna make any money off of it so she sees a vehicle that we're gonna have to pay on even though we don't have a nice vehicle right yeah but also you'd be you know paying on on the track to paying off that very quickly because like i did it and with the little amount

that we saved the most we saved on a month single month was eight hundred dollars and we threw that to the smallest loan which is my car loan to try to do the debt snowball and uh it just it fluctuates so much especially with our son because he has like he's gonna have some surgeries coming up because he's got to get tubes put in his ear and it just fluctuates when you have a baby so sometimes we save six hundred dollars sometimes that's spent and totally and you know yes so well let me just say this. That's the kind of predicament. For sure.

Well, you guys, I mean, you guys have, gosh, you know, 58,000, close to what you make in a year in car loans. And it's just too much. You guys can't afford these cars. So if you're underwater on the first one, I would probably sell it. I think I'd rather have $15,000 loan with a, you know, a beater car than a $37,000 loan making what you guys make. And then with your car, Ross, I mean, $21,000 and you're making $36,000.

You can't afford these cars. So you're going to have to sell them, get some beaters, take a loan out for the difference. It's not going to be fun. It's going to be uncomfortable. But from a financial standpoint, that's what the numbers show me. Ross, you got to show her a monthly savings, how you get out, get in the details, cast vision. It's the only way you're going to get her on board. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, you guys, health insurance costs are only moving one way, and that way isn't down. And if

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chministries.org slash budget. That's chministries.org slash budgets. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Cullen. I'm joined by Rachel Cruz, and we are here for you this hour. The phone number is toll-free. You can jump in at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. The question of the day is brought to you by Neighborly, your hub for home services. The 19 home service brands nationwide. The network of local service pros on Neighborly.com can help you with just about anything you need in and around your home. Incidentally, Neighborly was founded to solve problems like Ken Coleman. Because I can't do anything.

You and George Camel are like two peas in a pod. We are Neighborly prime customers. Our poor wives. We can't do anything around the house. Do you know George on this show said something about table saws? And he's like, I mean, you guys go spend $1,000 on table saws. He got lit up because everyone's like, they're like $100 to $200. And he thinks they're like $1,200.

Yeah, right, right, right. Well, you know, again, I'm not even sure he knows what a table saw is. He just heard it and said it. Or a circular saw or something. Yeah, he has no idea. But nonetheless, if you're like me, please visit neighborly.com slash Ramsey to find out more and improve your marriage. All right.

Today's question. It's a long one. Get ready, everyone. Oh, it is. Buckle up. We got Barry in New Jersey. Is my wife a princess or do I need an attitude change? Yes and yes.

All right. Let's get all their numbers. We have followed your baby steps and are debt free, but the house, our net worth is 1.6 million. We owe 80,000 on the house. It's worth 700,000. We're 50 years old. My income's 125,000 every year.

Early in our marriage, my wife made over 100,000, but we had two kids and later we had two more. We made the decision for her to be home and homeschool the kids all the way through high school. Huge sacrifice. Both agreed it was best for our family. Now, fast forward 20 years. The kids are grown.

We're doing well. Our lives and our marriage are great. But my wife is still not working. I have asked her to just work to knock out the mortgage, to take that off my back, and to help us build a gap fund so I can retire a little early. She has shown little effort at finding something and is not super motivated. We make plenty to live on,

but I've noticed some of our budget drift as she has more time on her hands and isn't needing to spend devoted time to our kids with schooling. Is she a princess for not wanting to go back to work, or do I just need to suck it up and change my attitude and be grateful for the fact that she doesn't have to work i know my knee jerk i want you to go first because i have a very clear answer uh i think he needs an attitude change i don't think she's being a princess she worked hard with the kids yeah she's a stay-at-home now wife he's

doing fine financially they got 80k on the house they're gonna pay it off she's 50 plus years old she's enjoying her life i agree but but i'm not mad at her i'm not either but what do you say in fact i'm gonna stay out of this and just ask a question let's say that uh barry's wife her name is mary just for fun. Okay. And let's say you and Mary go to tea or whatever you would do. And she says, my husband, Barry, has asked me to go back to work. It's the same scenario. Sure. And she says to you, we're fine, all the things you just said.

Yeah. But I understand he wants to knock it out, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He wants me to go back to work, and I just don't want to. What should I say to him? How should we handle this? What would your advice be to your friend Mary about her husband Barry? Mary and Barry. I would say I could understand where he's coming from.

I can see more for him wanting to retire early and wanting to get out of the work and stuff i see that more plausible and understandable for some reason than even the house i know but what do you say to her because he's clearly brought this up to her yeah and she she's not moving fast so i would i would ask her uh what is it that keeps you from not working yes meaning like is it that you don't have a thing that you're passionate about that you want to do? Is it that you just logically have come to a conclusion that y'all are going to be fine? Like you're going to pay off the house soon.

Yeah. He will retire at a decent age. There's no need for this urgency at this point in our lives. So I would ask her those questions and then I would have her, I would want her to ask him, you know,

hey, what's really like, what is going on what's more pressing do you get frustrated that i'm just home does that bother you do you think i'm like you don't know i don't know because some resentment could be building on his end could it be the budget drift so he's like if she works then she's gonna keep her you know and obviously she can't go and just do whatever she wants. Like we have to have limits and boundaries in life, but it doesn't sound like she's out of control. Not at all.

And if they had two car payments and $15,000 of credit card debt, she's, she got, she has to get back to work. All right. So I want you to keep on this cause you're getting this there, but let me interject on behalf of. Will you get us there? Do you know, do you know where we're going? Well, I, yeah, but where you were were going i wanted you to tell us what you

would tell her because i think this is a getting on the same page you're great at that i would very intentional in your life with winston and so here's my only take i think he sees her as potential income and he's got some stress and he's got some urgency over a goal and he look he's looking at her in this case wrongly, very with me, I'd go, I understand what you see. You see potential income that's not being maxed out and you're going, come on, babe. That's what I think he's feeling. So then how does she, that's what I'm,

so I just wanted to throw that in there. So what would you tell her? Because there's some stress on his end. There is, and I just wonder on her end, hey, is there other ways that I can help contribute to lowering that stress with me not having to go back to work? Would it make you feel better? And if we agreed on a budget, and I actually stuck to my word, right? Because if the budget's adrift, then there is a level of someone's not keeping their

word, which it's not great. So I want to have those conversations. But I also think that there's like a reasonableness for him to see, yeah, y'all are, you guys are doing fine. Yeah. Well, if anytime someone mentions twice the same phrase, is she a princess? I mean, he thinks that Barry thinks that she's a princess. And what he means by that is not the compliment.

It's like, you got it good, babe. I've been out busting it. Yes, you did your part. So I would say to Barry, hey, dude, I'm guessing there's already been a lot of tension around this and you got to change your tenor and how you're going at this. Because if you're asking us twice and a thing that you know may get read on the air, is she a princess? That tells me you are feeling some resentment towards her that's got to get fixed. Yes, and that's more of the underlying issue. And I do think sometimes spouses, because our spouse is the closest person in our lives,

they are the ones that we can just kind of like, you know, say it all, give it all, whatever. But I do think the intentionality, and you're great at this, Ken, asking questions. I think, and Winston and I have kind of gotten ken asking questions i think in winston i've kind of gotten in this rhythm too instead of just say of telling right you do that i want you to do asking questions actually get to know your spouse on that level of what what's really going on and that takes some intentionality uh but i think getting to the root of all of this is key the

root for her why does she not want to stick to the budget the root for her why does she not want to go back to work like what what's going on within her? And then for him too, what is going on? I love that you bring this up because we know there's all kinds of tension around money issues. This is a really great conversation. One of the things I learned from a coach years ago that I was getting trained by as I was getting into this type of work where I get to coach people, they told me to always ask what questions, not why questions. You hear this in a lot of therapy. If you're doing marriage counseling, a good therapist, we have a mutual friend who we did some work with, both of us individually. And it was like,

don't ask why questions, ask what. So in this case, Barry needs to get to a question where he goes, I've mentioned to you that you could work. What is keeping you from pursuing this? What are you concerned about? And allow her to share her voice and not be defensive. Because it's like, why haven't you applied for something? Yikes. Right, right. She's immediately on the defensive and unable to do anything but defend herself. Yeah, the finger pointing doesn't get anyone anywhere.

Yeah, that's right. And that is hard. So, yeah. And yeah and usually too i have found canon life you know my years it's there's usually a balance there is she's probably not a full-blown crazy princess over here oh no but could there be some time you know could there be some things here and there that she could do to help it relieve some stress sure yeah. And for him, right? Like, I think there's always this, like, there's usually a middle ground. My guy, Barry, he's a little uptight. And so a little advice to Barry is, hey, you know what? Why don't you go take on a second job? Go enjoy your life.

No, I'm going to tell him to go pick up. And she's like, and so Mary's like, well, Barry, why aren't you home? He's like, well, I just really want to knock this out. Then she starts to go, well, why do you feel the need to do this? Yeah. That could be a little passive aggressive way to do it. But it's better than what he's doing now. By emailing the second largest radio show in the country and asking, is my wife a princess? By the way, I don't know if her name is Mary.

I just think it would be really cool if Barry's wife was Mary. Mary and Mary. I just think it would be really cool if Barry's wife was Mary. Mary. Barry and Mary. Can you imagine? Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. Barry and Mary. Whatever. I don't know, folks. The drugs are kicking in. They'll be ready when we get back from the commercial break.

It's ADHD. It's a real thing, folks. The struggle's real. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I I'm Ken Coleman Rachel Cruz joins me and we are taking your calls on your money your work and your relationships 888-825-5225 888-825-5225 Grand Rapids Michigan is where Ethan is. Ethan, how can we help? Hi, how are you? Good, sir. What's going on? So I am a 22-year-old college senior.

I'm looking to propose to my girlfriend in the next couple months. But when we get married, she will have about $70,000 of student debt. So I was just curious on some ways to best prepare myself to take on that debt when we get married in a year-ish. Well, we start with a stiff drink and then we get, no, I'm kidding. That's terrible advice. I'm kidding. I'm joking. Just making sure everybody's paying attention. Have a little cocktail. I mean, we've got the baby steps, but they usually work better when you're inheriting debt with a stiff drink. So you have no debt at all?

No, I don't. Okay. All right. So tell us emotionally where you are. I would just love to know this. Because you're calling to ask this question. How is it hitting you, knowing that you're going to marry this gal, and you're starting with $70,000 in debt? Because I don't have any debt, a little uneasy. We're also moving to Iowa.

I took a job out there for after I graduate. What are you going to be making? Kind of a pre-tax, I'll be making $69,000 post-tax with a 5% contribution to a 401k about $55,000. And does she expect to work as well? Yes. She has one more semester of college, and then she'll be getting a full-time job. In what field? She has a business degree. She's not exactly sure what field she likes to get into though. Okay, so what would you... So that's a starting salary. Yeah, what do you think? 35,

40? 40, I would say, yeah, 40-ish. Yeah, probably in the 40-ish range. Yeah. I wanted to give Rachel those numbers because she'll walk you through what you're going to do here, but this is doable. Yeah. And I'm assuming the debt is student loans, correct? Yes, only student loans. Okay, yeah. So here's like, if there is a, you know, the positive side to this, Ethan, for me, because going into a relationship, we talk about this a lot with couples that are seriously dating or engaged entering marriage, that the money conversation needs to be had. And obviously, you guys have had that. You know what her debt is.

And I think the most important part where my uneasiness would be not really is the dollars because it's going to be a journey. Y'all will get out of debt. We can look at the numbers in a second. But I think where my uneasiness would be is where her value is when it comes to money, when it comes to debt. Right. easiness would be is where her value is when it comes to money when it comes to debt right so if you told me it was seventy thousand dollars half in a car loan half in credit card debt because she just loves to go and shop and do whatever she wants to do regardless of what money is like that's not her right that that would tend to feel like okay we have a behavior issue there that could probably you know create a lot of conflict in marriage let's talk about that but. But this is student loan debt, and it is what it is.

Do you know what I'm saying? So even the type of debt is different. So from a value standpoint, relationally, I think I would have a little bit of peace of just like, okay, this isn't a behavior problem per se, and just making sure that you guys are on the same page with debt. Like never again, we're not going to use debt going forward So that's more of like that that baseline to get to and then when you look at the numbers ethan

Um, I would not contribute to your 401k. I would put that five percent back in your paycheck to put towards the 70 000 So I would do nothing. I would literally do nothing with my income except pay for necessities Because you guys are in college. So I want you to keep living like you're in college. Keep living like broke college students for a few years where you just got your rent because I don't want you to buy a house. So rent somewhere. You guys eat cheap. No vacations.

I mean, you guys are really going to buckle down. Probably work a side hustle or two. Work weekends. work a side hustle or two uh work weekends like do some things you guys have to do because um the good thing is too in iowa like you're not moving to to the bay area or miami or you know some like high cost of living area um so for you guys together i'm like yeah i mean if you're making 110 together um you know you guys could you really could knock this out in two years ethan i mean like you guys could really say together hey we're gonna're going to live on $50,000, $55,000, and you could get this $70,000 paid off in 18 months. Absolutely right. The way I like to look at things like this, because I know it's really

scary, Ethan, is let's say you do what Rachel said and we try to knock it out in two years. That is $3,000 a month. So between the two of you with no kids, maybe you're working a second job and you're living like college students, as Rachel said, could you put $3,000 a month. So between the two of you with no kids, maybe you're working a second job and you're living like college students, as Rachel said, could you put $3,000 a month towards the debt? If you can't, that's okay. But $3,000 a month towards the debt, you're out in two years. I mean, excuse me, you're out in, yeah, that's exactly right. So can we get this done? The answer is unequivocally yes. The question then is how quickly. Is she on board, by the way, with getting after it? I've mentioned to her that I'd like to pay it off as quickly as possible and kind of have a tight budget and things like that. How did she react?

We haven't sat down and created a budget or anything like that. She was a little uneasy about it, but I think she saw the value in it. Well, so the next step is, and again, you guys are going to sit down and go, if we make this and we start laying this out, if we put $2,000 a month toward it, that's $24,000 a year. So that's going to take us three. You know, you just have to get real with the numbers. It is intimidating for anybody when you show up and you go, hey, babe, I want to knock the $70,000 out as fast as possible. You didn't tell her how. You yeah it can feel overwhelming it's just like whoa yeah you know yep yeah so yeah y'all sit down run the numbers and look at it and and here's the deal even like and you can't force this upon her there's so many questions of like how do i get my spouse on board i'm like at the end of the day they're an individual person like they're gonna have to

decide but my encouragement so if she listens'm like, at the end of the day, they're an individual person. Like they're going to have to decide. But my encouragement, so if she listens to this call, my encouragement would be the tighter you guys could lock arms and be such a unified force against the 70,000, the faster you do it. Ethan, y'all are going to be 24 years old,

two years into marriage, no debt, have an incredible way of how you set your life up and you get to continue on, right? I'm like there's such an upside to it and i think you'll see the the benefit not only relationally when you do that but also financially but it but it does take both to kind of lock arms and say we're

doing this and and and i'll stress this and i always hate to put like an age of like well y'all are young so it's easier because i know life is hard for everyone right at different stages but I think it is easier now Ethan than having kids and one of y'all like having to figure out like child care and I mean like there's so many other dynamics that start to happen in life you guys are at the prime the prime just to do it just to do it and all your friends are getting their new jobs like nobody you know it's just if you're going to sacrifice the time this is this is literally the perfect time to do it and please hear what she said rent like don't buy a house don't buy new cars, if you're going to sacrifice the time, this is literally the perfect time to do it. And please hear what she said.

Rent. Don't buy a house. Don't buy new cars. I know you're going to be adulting. You guys are going to be doing pretty well financially. But getting through this debt and getting an emergency fund before you start to really get to the next phase of life, Rachel, could not be any more correct, Ethan. It's worth it. But you're going to have to cast a vision.

Don't tell her what we're doing. Tell her what you want to do, why you want to to do it and then you better be able to show her how and and hold on the liney thing because we'll pick up and give you guys Financial Peace University this is our nine lesson course and every dollar premium so just to give you some tools to to walk through together so you guys watch these videos together it's a very romantic date night instead of Netflix watch Financial Peace University but start these conversations together. It's a very romantic date night instead of Netflix. Watch Financial Peace University. But start these conversations.

Sit down and do a mock budget of like, hey, let's just dream. Winston and I do this. We're like, let's just dream for a second. Once you're out of school and we're both working, like what, because honestly, you feel rich. Like I remember when Winston and I, when we graduated college and got our first full-time jobs, you're like, what?

Like, this is amazing. We both made like 42 grand like you know what i mean like it wasn't like we made a lot that's a lot of money combined it does so and start to kind of feel those numbers and just see where you guys are going when you can paint that picture as clearly as possible it makes it you know it makes it realistic it makes it fun it makes it doable all of it but um but yeah but we're excited for you to congrats too on the how confident are you that she's gonna say yes when you pop the question? 99%.

Oh, I thought y'all were already engaged. My bad. Sorry. No, that's why I asked the question. No, not yet. He's 99% sure. I'd like to work on that 1%. I don't know what's going to be there.

But I feel like that's a great – would you ever go into a proposal if you feel less than 99%? No. I personally can't deal with rejection, so I'd have to have, I'd have to be, it'd have to be a lock. And the way he said it, he was kind of like 99%. I don't know, man. I'd work on that a little bit. Slow down on the debt talk. Whoa.

One more quick question that I do have. Super fast. We've got 30 seconds. Go. All right. While in this time after I graduate until we get married, should I be saving up money to make a lump sum contribution to her debt? Yes, yes.

Don't pay on anything on her debt until you're legally married. Once you guys are married, take your lump sum, throw it at the student loan debt. Great question. Good question. All right, Ethan, we're rooting for you, buddy. Put a ring on it. Better be a romantic proposal.

If it's 99%, we've got to go extra on the romantic ask. You know, you need that extra emotion to get that 1% in there. I'm just telling you. This is advice he didn't call for, but I had to give him. This is The Ramsey show I'm Ken Coleman Rachel Cruz joins me and we are here to help you win in your money life also your work life and in your relationships money working relationships they all have a way of just kind of fitting together when things are working and opposing each other when things are not and speaking of money we found at Ramsey that if you're going to win in money no matter what baby step you're on, the budget, it's the thing that powers everything. As John Maxwell once said, a budget is telling your money where to go. And to that end, Rachel, we've got some incredible stuff we're doing. You are going to be offering something that's kind of fun that will help people if they feel like, oh, I get it.

It makes sense. But I'm not good at it. I'm scared of it. Whatever it is, tell us about that. Yeah. So we're, we've been doing these every dollar webinars and thousands of like six to 8,000 people sign up for each one, which is just incredible. So I have one that I'm hosting on Monday at 1130 central time. So if you go to every dollar.com slash budgeting, you can sign up there or you can sign up and we can send you the recording after but we really want to walk people through how to do a budget on a very tactical standpoint because

there's a lot of people that push against the idea of budgeting so we'll kind of like go through some of those sure um pushbacks but then also walk through hey here's what it looks like to budget and here's the benefits of it we do some live q a so we answer questions but it's about an hour long. It's free. It's really helpful. So again, if you're new to budgeting or have questions or just want to hang out on Monday at 1130 Central Time, go to everydollar.com slash budgeting. And there it is. All right, let's get to the phones. Hartford, Connecticut is where George is hanging out. George, how can we help? Hey, how are you doing, Ken and Rachel? So, I, you know, consider me and my wife right now pretty well off, but however, you know, with the economy in today's stage, I'm being a very frugal person, or someone call it being cheap.

My wife is the kind of person where she would prefer to take a big vacation every year. Uh, when I say big vacation, we're talking about probably like six, $7,000. Um, and I'm the kind of person, you know, I can't go 10, 15 years without taking a vacation. Right. So, and I just want to know in my financial state right now, can't, should I be able to, or should I be a little loose with my, you know, my money, or should I keep the way I have been doing it?

Sure. Okay. A couple of quick questions for us. So, yeah. So you said you guys are well off. What does that mean? Give us your financial picture. Okay. So I wrote down some of the numbers. So right now we have a combined income of $210,000. Mind you, that's in Connecticut. And we have a combined of retirement savings. That's between 401K and Roth IRA between the two of us of $315,000. I also have a $10,5 529 educational saving account for my children. What else? How much do you guys make a year?

A $210,000. Oh, I'm sorry. I did write that down. I apologize. So you've been doing these $6,000 to $7,000 summer vacations, yes? Or she wants to start doing them so we did one last year and i'm i'll be honest with you i'm absolutely hooked right i wanted i want to go back um but then i wake up from reality like oh i can't do this and i need to keep saving my money because you know eventually we want to buy a bigger house yeah What do you guys owe on your current house? I owe $110,000. Okay. And what other debt do you have? I have zero debt. Okay. What kind of money do you guys have saved that's non-retirement?

I have $60,000 in CD right now, and I have $25,000 cash in my bank right now. Okay. How long does it take you to save up for the $6,000 to $7,000 vacation that you said you could do without, but now you're hooked? George, how long does it take you to save up to $7,000? You're a budget guy, man. You're all over it. Yeah.

How long? So if I want to save it, if'm put on my mind and effort to i can save up you know in maybe three months right and what's the benefit george of taking your wife and the kids on the six to seven thousand dollar vacation that by the way you're hooked on well so the thing is right i'm um you know i'm no problem taking it but what if right there's a lot of what if you didn't answer my question what are the benefits of taking your wife and kids on this $6,000 to $7,000 vacation that you can easily cash flow and save up for in a three-month period? What are the benefits? You know, happy wife, happy life. Okay, great. Not to mention, you said you

were hooked on it, George. It's good. It's good for everybody. Now, take me to the worst-case scenario, that this $6,000 to $7,000, and I want to stay with this number, Rachel, because that's the number you've given us, George. Give me the thing that you're so worried about happening where the $6,000 to $7,000 you're spending on the vacay puts you in a bad spot.

Well, I'm trying to say, right, currently we are saving to buy a bigger house, right? We are trying to actually move to a different state to, you know, buy a bigger and nicer, much nicer house. And, you know, I want to make sure I have it. What's your goal? So you're not answering my question, George. You're like a politician on a Sunday morning show. So I'm going to act like the host.

So listen, listen, I'm trying to get you somewhere. Okay. So how much are you trying to save every year to get into the new house? What's the goal? Because I know you know it. What is it? I want to save somewhere between $40,000 to $50,000 every year. All right. So am I understanding that you want to save $40,000 to $50,000 every year. All right. So am I understanding that you want to save $40,000 to $50,000 every year? Am I understanding that you can't hit that number, $40,000 being the low number, because you're spending $6,000 to $7,000 on the vacation? Oh, man.

This is not a result I was hoping for. What he means is I got you, because what I think I hear you say is you can save the $40 to $50 a year and cash flow the vacation. Am I right, George? Aloha, George. Go. George.

Good. Tell her. What's her name? What's her name? Is she listening? She is. What's her name? Mary. Mary! You're going on vacation! Mary! Rachel and Kim say you are going on vacation every year! You know, I was hoping that you guys were going to take my side and be like, you know, you should do

you know, every five years. George, we actually did take your side. You can do both, is what ken's saying yeah you get to go on vacation and also george and here's the thing okay and i think i could i could get a little bit more on george's side i could like empathize with you a little bit more if george you're like hey here's our goal here's this we could be in two years earlier and she really wants this she wants both like we're trying to really reconcile the main the main reason you said to kim when he first asked you is why he says what if something happens what if the world got and it's like that hasn't happened george you're living in a fear that has not happened if that's the reality then we will change it and we probably won't go on the

six to seven thousand dollar trip that year because the world has collapsed no if the world's going to hell in a handbasket, I'm going on vacation. I'll tell you right now, I'm going to be on the beach when it all goes down. All right? That's how I'm rolling. If the worst case scenario happens, pulling back your lifestyle may be a reality. And that's what a lot of people find. You guys have gotten out of

debt. You have your emergency fund. You make a great income. You have savings and retire. You're doing everything right. And you have the emergency fund you make a great income you have savings and retire like you're doing everything right and you have the ability there is margin there for you guys to enjoy your life george you have to enjoy your life mary is mary right there george is mary still there no she actually just leveled into a meeting i was gonna ask mary where you guys are going this year well actually we're going to uh canc, Mexico last year, and then I'm just absolutely hooked. One thing I was going to say is I think what it is is the lifestyle I grew up with. I grew up poor.

That's right. Right. In my family, I never went on vacation. In fact, we barely love the state at all, right? So, you know, I still buy my clothes from Goodwill if I buy clothes, right? I'm going to take you on a shopping trip, George. You and me, pal. J. Crew, it's going to be great.

I know, but that's a legitimate thing, George. We do find that. You talk about that. You wrote a book about money styles. Yes, know yourself, know your money, and you go back to childhood. So much of how we're shaped, our fears, our dreams, all of that is because of the emotional state or the true financial state of our household growing up. So it's very real, that fear, but it's not reality, George. So you're not that little boy anymore living in that scenario. You're a grown man who's done really well with your family, and that's the state you have to

live in. Speaking of states, wherever you go on family, and that's the state you have to live in. Speaking of states, wherever you go on vacation, George, we'd like you to send us a postcard. From you and Mary to Rachel and I, Ramsey Solutions, care of Rachel Kruzik and Coleman. We'd love to see your postcard. It's going to be great. This is The Ramsey Show.