The Ramsey Show - App - Raising Balanced Kids When Money Is Tight (Hour 1)

Episode Date: June 4, 2018

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. You jump in, we'll talk about your life and your money. It's a free call at 888-825-5225. You jump in and we'll talk. That's 888-825-5225. Diane starts off this hour in Seattle. Hey, Diane, how are you?

I'm good. So I have a pension where I'm working right now, and I can take it when I turn 65. I also have a 401K, and when I turn 65, I can take money from my 401K and increase the amount of years for my retirement, so it would increase my pension amount monthly. And so my question is, is that a good thing to do, or should I keep the money in the 401K? No, you should go the other way. If you can lump some out of the pension, you should.

Okay. Here's why. When you die, what happens to that pension? I don't know what happens to the pension. It goes to the other people inside the pension. Right. Okay. So all the money you move into the 401K, you are giving to someone else other than your family when you die.

Okay. That makes sense. Yeah. So I would not do that. And the reverse is true. If you can take the pension as a lump sum, roll it to an IRA, In Good Growth Stock Mutual Funds, it will outperform the pension if you pick good mutual funds in terms of the rate of return that it will give you you'll end up with more money alive and you'll also end up with more

money dead obviously because of what we just discussed right yeah and i don't know if i can do that i'll have to validate that some let you and some don't it depends on the pension and what it is and how much is in there and all that kind of stuff and whether you're vested. There's all kinds of different rules with it. But basically, the pension calculations are done at 5.5% or 6% interest. And good growth stock mutual funds should return you double that while you're alive. And so any money you took out of your 401K and put in there, you're trading 10% or 12% rate of return on it for a 6% rate of return.

And then when you die, your money's gone. So there's two reasons to not go the direction you're talking about going and instead go the other direction. Jan's in Houston, Texas. Hi, Jan. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. I have a real estate question for you.

We have a piece of property that has gone commercial. The area it's located in has become commercial and it's worth probably easily $500,000. My accountant has approached me with a possible buyer and they're talking about splitting it up into three payments over two years, like a down payment and then a payment at the end of the first year and the end of the second year. And he says that will keep me out of a higher tax bracket. What do you think of that? How long have you owned the property? It's been in my family since 1931.

Okay. Your accountant approached you with this? Yes, it's somebody he knows that could potentially buy it, and he was trying to, A, supposedly, and I trust my accountant, but he was keeping us out of the, like I said, the higher tax bracket and also any taxes that we're going to own it because it is not our homestead. Okay. So what was the property worth when you inherited it?

Roughly probably about $100,000 to $120,000, and that was 20 years ago. All right. Well, I'm having trouble with your accountant's math, which always scares me with an accountant that can't do math. All right. This property qualifies for capital gains taxes. There's two capital gains tax rates, 15% unless you make over $400,000 in a year, and then it is 20%.

What's your household income? About $88,000 a year. Okay. So it's possible a portion of this would be taxed at 20%, but it would be a very small portion. And so there could be a 5% swing on it. So anything over $400,000 gain over what it was worth when you bought it. So let's do this, okay? Let's say we sold it for $500,000 and we had $50,000 in expenses.

That's $450,000. Your basis in it is 120. The difference in that is your gain. You follow me? Yes, sir. Okay. So we're talking about 450. I'm just making up numbers here, but I'm just showing you an example. So 450 minus 100 is 350 minus 20 more is, what, 330.

$330,000 is your gain. That should be taxed at 15% unless your household income is over $400,000 that year. Now, it could be that you end up with over $400,000 with your income plus that gain. That portion would be taxed an additional 5%. So you're taking the risk of carrying back paper on this property in return for about $5,000. Yes, and the other thing I don't even really know, because I haven't pursued it, is just the legal up and up. If we start splitting this into three payments, who owns it until it's completely paid, and who's liable or responsible for the taxes until it's paid?

Does that make sense? Yeah. Well, typically what you would do is you would be the owner financing on it. You would take a down payment. The property's transferred to them. They're liable and own the property, and you have a mortgage against it. And if they don't pay, you have to foreclose on them. And that's the risk you're taking.

So what's bothering me here is I can't figure out how your accountant came up with a calculation that's causing you to jump a tax bracket, and this client is also a client of his. Yes. And so I'm starting to get that feeling on the back of my neck of a conflict of interest, like he's looking out for the other guy more than you. That's exactly how I felt, and I kind of wanted somebody else to tell me that. Yeah, I'm not sure. But I'm not positive. I'm not ready to accuse the guy yet, and I kind of wanted somebody else to tell me that. Yeah, I'm not sure.

But I'm not positive. I'm not ready to accuse a guy yet, but I'm close. Exactly. So he gets one more opportunity to explain all this. So let's walk through and pretend that you discover that there's something you and I don't see today, and it is worth the trouble for you to carry back paper on this. It's my least favorite thing to do. And what you want to do in that case is do a happy happy mortgage a guy taught me years ago and a happy happy mortgage is you're happy if they pay but you got such a big freaking down

payment that you're happy to take that property back if they don't pay i like it so in other words if they put down two hundred thousand dollars and you have to foreclose, it'll be worth the trouble. Because you get $200,000 in your pocket, and you get a half-million-dollar piece of property back after you go through the gyrations of a Texas foreclosure. Okay? Okay. So that might be worth the trouble. It ain't worth it for $50,000.

Yes, sir. So what was their down payment proposal? They did not propose it yet. Okay. My proposal would be so large that they wish they had used a bank instead of you. Well, I was thinking a minimum of

$200,000. There you go. Me and you are on the same team. So you're happy if they pay because you got your money and you got a little interest on the money until they pay you the balance, right? And you got a big down payment. And you're happy if they don't pay and you have to go through the problems of taking it back. That's a happy, happy.

I don't think this is the case. I don't think this deal is going to go down. Because I think there's another issue here. And I think it comes into the relationship you have with your accountant. Because I don't see the math. I might be missing something. Sometimes I do. But I'm generally pretty quick on the uptick on those things.

So I might be there, but I've got enough questions. I'm not ready to endorse this deal, I can tell you that. Hey, thank you for calling in, and thanks for thinking on your own. Good for you. $500,000 assets, a lot of stuff to manage for God. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Do you wish you could find an affordable biblical solution to your health care costs? Based on New Testament principles, Christian Health Care Ministries, or CHM, helps Christian families, churches, and ministries join together as the body of Christ to share their major health care costs. Christian Health Care Ministries is the original health cost-sharing ministry.

A Better Business Bureau-accredited organization, CHM members share to pay each other's medical bills. It's not insurance. It's Christians financially and spiritually supporting each other. It's what Christian Healthcare Ministries has done for over 35 years, and our members have shared over $2.5 billion in medical bills. To learn more, visit chministries.org. That's chministries.org. Christian Healthcare Ministries is a proud sponsor of Dave Ramsey Live Events. chministries.org. Coming up at the bottom of the hour, Rachel Cruz, number one best-selling author, Ramsey personality and YouTube star, and my daughter, will join us for a couple segments

answering your questions about how to teach kids how to handle money. She and I did a number one best-selling book together called Smart Money, Smart Kids. We'll talk about that and some other things as well. If you've got questions about that for Rachel and me at the bottom of the hour, you jump in now, 888-825-5225. Kelly will clean off some lines, and you'll be able to get through. All right, in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions, Deanna is with us. Hi, Deanna, how are you? Hey, Dave, how are you? I'm good. Good, welcome. Where do you live? Cleveland, Ohio. Wow, that's a bit of all. Yeah. Well, welcome. And all the way down here to Nashville

to do a debt-free screen. Yes, sir. Love it. How much have you paid off? I've paid off $46,763 in three and a half years, but there's an asterisk there. Good for you. And what during that time? I just want to say that $36,000 of it was paid off in the last year and a half. Oh, okay. A bunch of it lately. Okay.

$36,000 and one and a half. All right. And your range of income through that three and a half years? All right. So I'm going to give you ranges on the bookends because I have some co-workers listening. So I started between $35,000 and $45,000 and did between $55,000 and $65,000. Gotcha. Okay. That's cool enough. And very good. What do you do for a living? I'm an account manager for a broker and third-party administrator. Great. Very cool. What kind of debt was the $47,000?

It was mostly student loans, car note, credit card debt, and some medical bills. Okay. So it sounds like your story comes in two phases, one three and a half years ago, and then something blew up a year and a half ago. Tell me about it. Correct. Well, I need to say the story to this point of freedom really began eight plus years ago when I got sober. Congratulations. Thank you. You've been sober eight years a little over yeah look at you yeah well alcohol or what uh alcohol and drugs okay good for you congratulations proud of you thank you so yeah

um i'm 45 now so in my 30s i found myself in the throes of addiction and alcoholism and just a very dark place. And I was on the brink of insanity and contemplating death and made the best decision of my life, which was to get down on my knees and cry out to a Lord that I once knew and asked for help. So when I cried out in the Spirit I also cried out in the natural and God just flooded me with people that surrounded me and I got on a program, a recovery program. The early years were all about, you know. Just healing.

Yeah, exactly. Forgiving and making amends. And then the pile of money comes later. Yeah, that was there. The pile of debt. Yep. So about four years in, I became ready to really focus on my finances. When I put out the call for help, the name Dave Ramsey came up.

So actually, my friend that's here with me today, Patricia, was the first person to sit with me and teach me some foundational things that helped me gain control of my finances, which were get on a budget. And she's been a former coordinator of Financial Peace University. So she taught me your baby steps, and I was off and running. And I'll say when she got me on the budget, we popped in the numbers, and she said to me, when you're done paying all your minimum expenses or payments

and all your monthly expenses, how much do you think you have left? And I said, well, I think nothing. Not only was it not nothing, it was positive. And so that was the first light bulb moment of, okay, I need to, I'm going to do this. I need to tell my money where to go. Feel like you got a raise. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So. And then what was the, so that was at the three and a half year mark. You started that. Yeah. And then what happened a year and a half ago? Kicked it into overdrive. Yeah.

So I, I'm in the process of paying off my snowball. And I had a coworker who also had done your baby steps. So I had a cheerleader there. But I lost a house to foreclosure in the process. So I had a house that didn't bounce back or a neighborhood. It was in a neighborhood that didn't bounce back from the crash of the market. It was an unsafe place for a single woman to live. And some major things broke in my house.

And so I moved out into a ministry home to get some further discipleship and pursued a short sale. That's what I thought was going to happen, and I did that. And then in the 11th hour, I got declined for the short sale, and it went into immediate foreclosure. And that was about a little over two years ago. And so I paused my snowball, hired an attorney, and went down that scary road. And it ended fairly well. And I walked away fairly unscathed. And at that point, I was looking at about $36,000 of student loan debt left.

And I just thought, all right, you know, God, you've shown up time and time again. And now I need to get gazelle in tents. And what can I do to get this done quickly and I met with a woman Tracy who was also keeping me financially accountable and she just helped me slash items off my budget and then I asked my parents if they would let me move in with them I asked for two years and they were gracious and said yes and you know the Lord blessed me I got raises and bonuses, and I was able to, you know, every time I got an increase, I

tithed off the 10th, a 10th off the top, and it all went to the student loan. So I was able to do it in a year and a half, that last 36K. You're amazing. Thank you. You're amazing. I'm so proud of you. Well done. I mean, you are a walking fresh start.

Thank you. You get a complete clean slate now, right? Amen. Spiritually, substance, and financially. Amen. And here we go. Game on. It's all up.

New life. I love it. 45. Good for you. Well done. Well done. And I made my final payment on December 29th, 2017, so I got to start the new year with a clean slate. How does it feel to not have any payments?

I was just telling another couple I met. I mean, you're debt-free, drug-free, and on Jesus. Life is good. Amen. It is. It's really good. It's really good. It's really good. It feels amazing just to own my entire paycheck.

You know, I can choose where to go. You know, and I'm remaining pretty frugal in favor of building wealth and becoming outrageously generous. I bet. You'll see opportunities for that. Amen. You'll see opportunities other people don't even see. They walk by them. Wow.

That's amazing. So I've heard this story over the years several times that the money piece ends up being further down into the recovery process. And it's almost like the last thing for a lot of people. Not always the last thing, but it's one of the handful of last things that you sweep out the house and now the floors are clean, you know, in your life. And that's what it sounds like with you. Tell people that are out there that are either coming out, they're starting their recovery process,

and there's too many things coming at you right then. You're trying to physically heal and emotionally heal and detox and all these other stuff coming at you. And then there's the money thing coming at you too. And it's okay to wait a little bit on the money thing. It is. You can't fix the money thing until you fix you. You and Jesus fix you.

Is that a true statement? I agree. Yeah, when i got in recovery people said it's like when you get on an airplane you gotta you know secure the mask to yourself first before you put it on your child you gotta you know clean your own house before you can help other people and a lot of it as you said it's you know spiritual emotional damage physical mental and you kind of clean up all that stuff and making amends to people and uncovering the reasons why.

For me, that was a big part. Why did I fall into this addiction in the first place? And I needed to get to the root of that so I could have Jesus dig it out. And that took a while, and it was painful. Those roots are deep. Yeah, so I was just kind of floating on water with the money. I made some changes just to stay afloat.

Just treading. Yeah. I knew I'd deal with it down the road. And then when it came time, you punched it right in the face. Amen. So how does it feel to be clean now? Clean with money on the money part. Debt free.

Complete. Yeah. You know. That's a good word. Yeah. That's a good word in this situation. Very well done. Very well done.

Well, you're inspiring. I'm proud of you. I know your mom and dad are. And all these different a good word in this situation. Very well done. Very well done. Well, you're inspiring. I'm proud of you. I know your mom and dad are. Yeah. And all these different angels that have walked with you. Yeah. Mentoring you and discipling you. Sounds like you've had a lot of good folks intersect your life along the way.

I sure have. And you're tipping your hat to them in your story. Well done. Yeah. Well done. Well, thank you, sir. You've been one of my mentors, so. Well, at a fur distance.

Not like those other folks. You're good people. All right. I love it. Deanna, Cleveland, Ohio. $47,000 paid off in three and a half years. That's just the tip of the iceberg. 35 to 65 was the range.

Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. I'm debt free. I'm debt free. Yeah. Wow. Amazing.

That was just for you people. Thank you. Doesn't make any sense. Women make up half the workforce, contribute mightily to family incomes, and in many cases are the breadwinners and take care of their families 24 hours a day. This is one of the most overlooked areas when it comes to financial planning. Maybe it's a relic of the past, but a loss of income or the need to replace family care is equally important for women as it is for men. Single moms, working moms, and stay-at-home moms all need term life insurance. Rates are actually lower for women, which is why I send you to Zander Insurance. They shop the top term life companies to find the lowest rates available. You can compare rates online at zander.com or call 800-356-4282. This is something every family has to deal with.

That's Zander.com or 800-356-4282. Joining me this half hour, number one best-selling author and YouTube star, Rachel Cruz. Her show on YouTube, The Rachel Cruz Show, is exploding. It's an all-new video series, and it has really taken off. You go to the rachel cruz show or rachel cruz on youtube and subscribe to her youtube channel that way you'll automatically get the updates when a new show is launched each time and right now we're on a rhythm of about every couple of weeks is that right every other week every other week yes so So every couple weeks we'll get another one out. And this episode is about raising kids without breaking the bank. Meg Meeker will be a guest, you know, the nation's mom for sure. And I'm going to be on there as well.

And you and I did that book together, Smart Money, Smart Kids. So teaching kids to how to handle money and the value of a dollar so to speak is part of the equation but uh there's also you know when you've got just a tight situation in your household how do you take care of kids how do you you know put kids first and not scare kids and all those kinds of things and so you deal with a lot of that this time yes we did yeah so there's some practical tips for sure tactical things to take away when it comes to even raising newborns up to kids and how to teach them about money. But overall, I loved it because having especially you and Meg on with two different segments, getting to dive into just the parenting piece, because there's so much that not only money weaves into, but also things like what are things that you can spend time with your kids that doesn't cost money? Like what are things like with their character and who they are and memories?

You make all those things that build up a child that doesn't cost money. What are things with their character and who they are and memories. You make all those things that build up a child that doesn't cost money. It was interesting to hear from her because she's brilliant. You said America's mom. I love her as a mom because she's a practicing pediatrician still. She still sees clients and patients, kids, and then she also

writes and speaks and does all of that side. You get the whole package with Meg Meeker. She's just phenomenal. kids and then she also you know writes and speaks and does all of that side so it's you get kind of the whole package with meg meeker and she's just phenomenal the big book she does strong father strong daughter is teaching your you know the interaction between dads and their daughters and how that turns a young woman into a confident competent and healthy with their interaction with their dad is a big part of that. And so that book was something we latched onto when we first met Meg years and years ago. And, you know, one thing she talks about, and I don't know if it came up on this show or not with you,

because I haven't viewed it, but... You haven't? No. It's fantastic. You're on it. They didn't send me the link. You? And so I need to get the link.

But once it comes out, once it comes out... Do it today. It hit today? Yes, it hit hit today i'll watch it with the rest of you okay hope it's good it is good and i'm gonna tell other people if you're a fan of the show here dave ramsey show our segment's great and you're it's a kind of a different side of you which i appreciated you will you number one we're on my you were a guest on my show yeah instead of being a guest on your show even this is a little bit of a bigger show, but that's okay. But just beginning to talk about parenting

and dads and our memories and things that you did, things that you regretted, things you wish you had done better, things you're glad you did as a dad. I mean, all of it. So it was just, I think it was a really fun conversation

with you specifically. But go back to Meg. Sorry. I'm just floored that you haven't seen my episode. That's okay. That's okay. I'll Meg. Sorry. I'm just floored that you haven't seen my episode. That's okay. That's okay. I'll get to it. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. They usually send me a link the week before, and I watch it before it airs. But anyway, Meg is, one of the things she talks about was to spend time working on character, working on the inside of the kids instead of the outside of the kids. Yes. So if they can dance and play a piano and are a soccer pro but they have organic food and gmo and everything else but they're but their internal character they have no integrity they have no self-control they um you know they don't have it's all just

mush on the inside you worked on the wrong part. And she would rather you give up a few extracurricular activities in lieu of working on the inside of the person. Did she talk about that? No, not not fully. We gazed a little bit of that stuff because we actually had viewer questions from kids of every stage of life. So she answered different. Yeah. No, but but that's a great point.

And that's one thing that I she's such a balanced voice in the space of parenting and you're exactly right i remember one of her talks i think at the smart conference she did she said and i and as a parent of young kids i feel this pressure of like they have to go to the right school you have to live in a great neighborhood with great other kids you have to you know put them in certain curricular activities you want them to play piano and be musical but you also want them to be athletic. And you want to make sure that they're eating the right kind of foods. And you want to make sure they're getting the right kind of grades.

And it's just like all of this pressure as a parent that you're putting on your child and your child feels on themselves. At the end of the day, it's like, no, that stuff, yes, well, that's good. And that's a blessing in its own right, in its own way. That's all parents focus on. And it's like if you can sit there and have a family dinner, was like twice a week i think was the stat she gave you know how your children don't end up in trouble in their teen years i mean it's like all the statistics but a lot of it is tim me as a family and pouring into your kids in that way which i love because i was like god so refreshing to know that you don't feel like you have to have like this perfectly

well-balanced child what the world sees on the outside. You're painting the exterior on the child, but you're not working on the interior. Yeah, yeah. That's a big deal. Yeah, it's powerful for sure. So in the episode, we do talk about how to raise great kids when money is tight. Yeah, and you talk about that through your story, which I love, talking about in the early years of you guys going bankrupt and what

that looked like. Because there's a lot of guilt that parents feel and a lot of moms I talk to as they're getting out of debt, feeling this, you know, idea of, okay, I'm almost, it can feel like I'm punishing my child because of decisions I've made. You know, as parents, we decided to go and get into debt and credit card debt and student loan debt. And now we're having to sacrifice all of our family's lifestyle and our kids are now at the detriment of our choices. So like that conversation, a lot of parents feel and a lot of moms that I talk to. And so kind of debunking that idea that your kids are resilient and they're

going to be okay. And so that's kind of a little bit of your story of when it came out of raising us in a world that we had nothing, like literally nothing. Like you guys were like basically going into foreclosure at that point. And so, yeah, just giving parents a little bit of the permission of, hey, sacrifice is okay. And your kids are learning boundaries and limits because they're seeing parents, you

as parents doing those things, especially when you're making choices like getting out of debt. It's impossible to make enough money to never tell your kid, no. You can never get there. At some point, they're going to ask for something. No. No, I can't buy you the Empire State Building. I mean, at some point, there's not enough money.

And so you might as well get used to it when the numbers are small and the kids are small. Yeah. No is a wonderful, wonderful word. We live in a finite world, and it's it's not no forever it might be or it might be but it might be just no for now you know we're living like no one else so later we can live and give like no one else i mean um in my generation lots of families uh as we study these millionaires for instance lots of families never went on vacation ever.

And those kids were not damaged by the lack of a visit. Right. Right. I mean, I never saw the ocean until I was 12. Yep. You know, and you guys were on airplanes of all kinds bouncing. You know, it wasn't long. Well, sort of.

I mean, after as soon as we started making money. Yeah. I was going to say we had had many campground vacations. Oh, we did do that. We did do that when we were broke. But that goes back to this idea of the standard of living that our culture is set that's so different than it was in the 60s and 70s, right? Like where we are today. And then you're seeing everything via social media and what everyone else is doing.

And it's this crazy standard of living that we've accepted as normal. And it is. It's crazy. When you look at it, you're like, you're expected to go on vacation once a year. And that's just the minimal. Like, that's what, you know what I mean? That's normal for people to take a road trip to the beach. Like, that is so normal.

But man, as the expenses add up and yeah, and the idea of saying no to that seems like it's the end of the world sometimes. Rachel Cruz, number one bestselling author of the book Smart Money, Smart Kids and Love Your Life, Not Theirs. One of our Ramsey personalities and my daughter joins us this half hour to take your questions and talk about kids and money. That's one of the things that will be covered in this month's or this biweekly episode of the Rachel Cruz Show on YouTube.

Jump over there and watch it. It releases today and you can watch it on Facebook as well. It's an all-new video series, and we're doing those on every other week, a rhythm around here. And it really, for those of you not used to watching something on YouTube, which means that you're probably older like me, this is like a full-on TV show on YouTube, though. And there's no commercials, so it goes pretty fast. So be sure and check that out.

And you can watch it at rachelcruz.com. You can go to YouTube and subscribe to her YouTube channel. So anytime she posts anything video there, you're going to see it pop up, which is her most likely way to post something these days. So we'll be back with your questions and more comments on this subject on the Dave Ramsey Show. Folks, the real estate market is on fire all over the country. If you're looking to buy a home and you need a mortgage, don't sell yourself short by going and getting a typical pre-approval. That's a false sense of security, and it's just not good enough in today's fast-moving market.

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This is a paid advertisement. NMLSID 1591, Equal Housing Lender, 761 Old Hickory Boulevard, Brentwood,, answering your questions. And we're reminding you that a new version of The Rachel Cruz Show dropped on Facebook and YouTube today. And it's all about kids and money. Meg Meeker is a guest. I'll be a guest on this episode, among other subjects that are always discussed. If you've not joined Rachel on YouTube, you will find it to be funny. Every episode is funny.

You are funny. You really are. You're fun. Well, thanks. All right. Marie is with us. Marie's in Columbia, Missouri. Your question for Rachel, Marie.

Yes, yes. Thank you, Rachel, for taking my call. We're assisting in all ways of raising our grandchildren who live with us along with their mother. And obviously, we want to avoid the mistakes that we must have made raising our daughter. We're trying to strive to be an example to our grandchildren, financially, spiritually, in every way possible. Do you have any suggestions for financial boundaries? How old is your daughter, and why is she living with you?

Well, I'm embarrassed to say. No, don't be. She's 32. That's okay. And how many kids? And she has two children. And why is she there? She went through a divorce and she's bouncing back?

No, honestly, children are out of wedlock and she cannot hold down a job, or will not hold down a job. Gotcha. Okay. Well, that's good. Well, I think you're in a powerful position, Marie, as a grandparent, because not only the proximity of where your grandkids are, considering they're living with you, is great, but your example in the meantime is even bigger, right? I mean, grandparents make such an impression on their grandkids, no matter

how close or far they are. I even think about even my mom's parents, they lived in East Tennessee, and growing up, we saw them probably twice a year. And I still have great memories and lessons I learned from them, even though it was not a ton of time spent. And so I just, number one, want to encourage you that you have such a powerful position right now over those grandkids. And so I think that there's a point that, yes, you need to be respectful to your daughter because they are her kids, obviously, but you are in a position of much more authority over them because of the situation you guys are in. And so I would say to lean into that and to realize that more is caught than taught for any kid in any proximity of an adult and especially with you.

And so they're going to be watching you, but your influence is great. And so I think having your daughter on board with you and to say, hey, you know, even just the money side of it, right? Because you could go just like you said, spiritually, intellectually, you could go into so many different areas of their lives, but the financial side to sit down with your daughter and say, hey, here are things that I'm learning and I'm thinking that kids can really pick up

and simple things, right? Like working and getting paid and giving, saving, spending, starting with the basics and really winning your daughter over and saying, I want to instill this into the kids. And I would love for you to help me with that if you choose to, but to kind of give your

blessing for us to start training them really well, because I think there's such an opportunity there. So I would go about it really winning your daughter over, but also knowing that the example you have is heavy and a really, really exciting opportunity for them. Yeah, absolutely. Good advice. I would say if I were in your shoes, I probably would touch base with a pastor or someone that does some good family coaching

and get some insight there as to what place you can do. Because I'm going to be an armchair psychologist for a second. It sounds like that you're the only adults there. I'm being mean to your psychologist for a second it sounds like that you're the only adults there um i'm being mean to your daughter for a second but uh if you're going to be the only adults there that's different than the grandparent role that i would play in rachel and winston's kids they've got two daughters and so i'm not going to be as heavy-handed with their kids because they're managing their household they're running a complete unit i've got a different set of boundaries rather than you don't work and you live in my house and so i've got an i need to be the emotional adult for your kids uh that would be you speaking uh over the situation i think but

again that's armchair psychology which is pretty dangerous so sit down with a good coach a good family coach a good pastor and get some guidance on that. And so, you know, if they were in my home, I would probably be very heavy-handed on a lot of this stuff in terms of not being mean about it. But I'm going to be more like the dad than the grandpa if that situation was in my house where she's not working and where she lives at my house. I hear that, and I agree. But, I mean, there's a sense of like when – wait, what's the Dale Carnegie book? When Friends and Influence People, right? I mean, there's an element of being able to get her daughter on board that she has that powerful position to win her over in this whole idea. The goal would be for her to be on her own two feet.

But if we're asking about how to teach the kids, I'm going to be actively teaching those kids. A hundred percent. But then also bringing the mom on board of that plan and having her participate, which I think is big, right? Because as a 30-something-year-old woman with two kids, I'm like, if you can get her on board, then that, I mean, that's...

Or the only shot I've got with you in Winston is to get you on board. Because there's a healthy set of boundaries there you're operating your own lives successfully and so i don't have the right the ability i don't have the power to step into that because i'm not financially supporting you right you're working you're you're being functional you're functional in your marriage you're making good value-based decisions those kinds of things so anytime that i'm going to influence those kids it's going to be as grandpa, not as dad. Yes.

And they've got a dad. And so there's a different setting there in that situation. Right, no matter what, she's going to be able to teach those kids about money, whether the daughter is on board or not, but not to be so heavy-handed in the beginning. By heavy-handed, I just mean it's the role that you're assuming is much more inserted, which is a different way of saying what you said, actually, I think. Good. Good discussion.

All right. Kathy is with us in Oklahoma City. Hey, Kathy, your question for Rachel. Hi. I have a nephew who is coming out of college, a baseball star. And he is entertaining five meetings with major league teams this week and i'm having trouble deciding which of the ramsey solutions books to gift him so that he doesn't squander away what he makes uh in the major league baseball okay what kind of kid is he now obviously obviously he's

great baseball player but what kind of kid is he he? Obviously he's a great baseball player, but what kind of kid is he? He's a really good kid. He managed to work through college and come out debt-free. Okay. That's awesome. So it's not a matter of influencing him. It's just a matter of giving him some additional information because he's already trekking towards common sense. Exactly.

Yeah. Well, the good thing about our material is it's at an eighth-grade reading level, and you can read them pretty quick. So I would say, I mean, for sure, Total Money Makeover. What are you saying, Rachel? Well, there's not just like one book. If I'm like, I had to choose out of all the books, all books you could read in a week if you really wanted to. I mean, it's not like you're sitting there with thousands of pages of this. Yeah, I would probably.

So Total Money Makeover. And then I'd say Love Your Life, Not Theirs. And then go through Financial Peace University online. OK, there you go. That's exactly what I would do. That's very very good line. And so except that eighth grade part. I mean the one I'd say love your life

not theirs. That would be my pick. Out of yours? Well you know what? Truthfully with an athlete that's getting ready to be walking into a lot of peer pressure, that's not a bad suggestion. Well, it's more of the heart's contentment piece.

But Total Money Maker, obviously, it's the playbook to everything we do, and it's brilliant, and it walks you through step by step for sure. But the habits and everything is love your life, not theirs. Well, and I hadn't thought about the athletes through the viewpoint of a lot of the garbage they get into is caused by peer pressure. Oh, sure. Because the guy two lockers over just bought a $300,000 Aston Martin or something. And so you feel like you've got to go do that just because you've got a signing bonus.

Yep. And that's a different level of peer pressure, but it's real with the athletes. Oh, sure. It's just magnified of what the other average 21-year-old kid. So what's the one thing in the Rachel Cruz show that just released that people definitely want to see that they don't want to miss? What's the big deal?

Of the episode? Mm-hmm. I mean, I guess if I'm on the Dave Ramsey show, I should say Dave Ramsey. No, no, no. No, really, though.

I mean, all the segments are fun and they're all different. Too late. You already said I was at the eighth grade level. Too late. Well, it is.

All of our writing, we're intentional about not making it like crazy over people's heads. What is in the show this week that they need to see? I'd say Meg Meeker's segment in your segment is great, but there's also some fun. She works hard saving money, celebrating people, saving up money. That's a good segment.

It's so fun. It's a really good segment. It's at the end, so watch for it. Number one bestselling author of the book Love Your Life, Not Theirs, and the host of the Rachel Cruz hit show on YouTube. Rachel Cruz joins us. Thanks for stopping by. Yeah, thanks for having me. This is the Dave Ramsey Show.

Hey, it's Kelly, Dave's phone screener. We finished 2017 with a bang as the fourth most downloaded podcast of the year. Thanks to all of you for listening and helping us spread the word. Okay, I need you to listen to this. Because one normal routine that everyone does can cause total chaos in your life. I'm talking about the simple act of using Wi-Fi. When you're on Wi-Fi anywhere in public or at home, you're at risk of hackers easily seeing every site you visit and every search you're doing online. It doesn't matter if you're on your cell or your laptop.

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