The Ramsey Show - App - Real Talk About Money Shouldn’t Be Taboo

Episode Date: April 4, 2022

Rachel Cruze & John Delony discuss: How much to spend on a wedding, Americans' avoidance of talking about money, Getting out of debt as quickly as possible, Dealing with a loved one passing without a will, Getting out of an upside down car. Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6

I'm out. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, this is The Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. I am Ramsey personality, Rachel Cruz. Alongside me today, Dr. John Deloney. And we're here to answer your questions all about your money, your life, your relationships, anything and everything. We are here for you. So we're going to go right to the calls this hour. And Jason in Cleveland is up next. Hey, Jason, welcome to the show.

Hi guys, thanks for having me. Absolutely, how can we help? Yeah, looking for another set of ears on our situation. So my wife and I have $87,000 left of student loans. We had $200,000 to start the plan. We're paying about $4,000 a month, so we're getting after it as best we think we can. We had a five-month-old along the way now. Wow, congratulations. How long have y'all been on this, man? About two years since we got married. What were the loans? What did y'all go to school for um my wife's a veterinarian okay all right so you need some extra ears you said to um

of encouragement what do you need because you guys have been on you've been at this for a long time yeah it's a long haul and not really sure if I can't imagine an hourly job would make much of a dent in the progress that we are making. Are we just in the grind, I guess? Do you need to finish this out or any other suggestions on how

to affect this better? How much are you guys making a year? About $175,000. Okay. And you have $87,000 left. Yep. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, this is kind of the part of the debt snowball journey where it can start to feel a little defeating because the normalcy of the sacrifice is, like, setting in, right? Like, people that can do it, you know, and they kind of do the shot in the arm for nine months months and it's like, we can do anything for nine months. But when you look at six figures of debt, it's a longer process. And that's why we kind of say it is that marathon. It's not a sprint. Did you run some numbers? Were you? Yeah, I was just looking to see. So

I've been there paying off six figures of student loans and you're sending these massive checks and there's that feeling we make too much money to be living like this is that what y'all are feeling yeah it's just exhausting and it's putting life on pause for four years yeah yeah i just read i read the math so at your current payoff it's four years. Yeah. I just read the math. So at your current payoff, it's four years. Here's another way you could look at it. So I get that when you're putting $4,000, adding working extra jobs to pay another thousand a month can feel like a beating, right? But if you think about it this way, every four of those, you get a month back, right? So for every, if you work extra jobs, you make another thousand bucks a month, every fourth one of those, you've just earned a free month or you've got ahead a month. So it's

going to take you a little bit longer to catch up. But if you do it four and then four and then four, so you see what I'm saying? You're accelerating your process. And you're going to be, what, is that four months ahead by the time you pay this off? So you'll have moved up. And if you can do more than $1,000, you're talking you've moved up. You've knocked six months off by just getting an extra $1,000. What do you do for a living, man? I'm a PM in the healthcare industry.

Okay. Man, if there's any possible way for the two of you, she can work on Saturdays, pick up Sunday shifts, and you'll take care of the more domestic stuff, whatever that looks like for you all. Man, I would much rather – here's what I did. I took on an extra two jobs. My wife took on a second one, and we limited our expenses to basically zero

because I couldn't do a four-year sprint. I can't run that far for that long. And so we did everything we could in short order to get it done. And so I think it's worth it to suck it up and figure out how can we scratch and claw our way to $1,500 or more a month, and you're going to knock off at least half a year, if not more. Yeah, and it is. It's that. that it's the worst continuing to be in it but what's hard too is it's like that a little bit of the math game you know like what you're saying we're in the

numbers of what you can but then feeling defeated at the same time too with the interest all of it right so it's just like getting continuing that almost anger toward the situation that you're like i'm so done i'm so done. I'm so done. And because I'm not done, I'm going to channel all that anger and get mad at it and get it out that much faster. But it is. It is a complete journey. I mean, it is.

You keep on going and going and it's day in and day out and that the little sacrifices, they do make a difference. It's those little things. And you don't think add up. It works the other way. With the expenses side. Is there a way to cut expenses? And it's hard too, Jason. You guys added a baby in the mix too. So I'm like,

your whole world has been turned upside down with this new little one in the home. So I'm like, you're exhausting me, all of it. So there's a lot of life. We hear that and empathize with that. I've been there. Oh my gosh. We're telling you to keep pushing. But thanks for the call.

All right, next up we have Kathy from Williamsburg, Virginia. Hey, Kathy, welcome to the show. Hi, Rachel and Dr. John. Thank you so much for taking our call today. Absolutely. How can we help? So what is my responsibility, especially in terms of starting a probate process? Who passed away? My mom died on Friday evening.

I'm so sorry. Oh, my gosh, Kathy, like just over the weekend? Just over the weekend. I'm so sorry. Were you expecting it or was it unexpected? Let's just say she went downhill quickly. Oh, I'm so sorry, Kathy. My plane ticket on Saturday was supposed to go see her in the hospital.

Oh. And then we got the call Friday night. Oh, I'm so sorry. So my husband and I who are sitting with me, we've been day followers for about five years, but the rest of my family is not. So she did have a will that was dated 2003. She has outstanding debt, minimal assets. She has a, a mobile home, a trailer that she's lived in that, um, costs, I don't know if it was $5,000 when she bought it. She'll get a social security check here,

uh, the middle of April. Um, as I said, my husband and I are day followers. Her legacy drawer was essentially three grocery tote bags that were on a hook in the bathroom in the trailer. So going through all that, finding all of this paperwork. My brother, who lived with her, does have access to her debit cards and her accounts. And I just, I don't know what I am supposed to do. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to hang on the line and we're going to go to a break right here. And we come back from the break. We're going to unpack this and we'll walk you through the step-by-step. Yeah. I am so, so sorry. Hold on, Kathy. We'll be back with you. Okay.

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This is something every family has to deal with. That's Zander.com or 800-356-4282. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. Our last caller, we held her over on this break. But Kathy, your mom just passed away on Friday, and you and your husband are now kind of digging through everything that is from your mom's estate, figuring out really where she is financially. She didn't really have much of what we would say a legacy drawer, which has all of your important documents. So you guys are in the process of grieving and trying to help the situation with your family, with your mom's passing suddenly. Is that a fair recap, Kathy? Correct.

Okay. So, Kathy, are you the executor of the estate? So I'm looking at the will and the documentation, and there doesn't seem to be any executor listed. Okay. Well, that's fun. Okay. So here's what we're going to do. The first thing is we're going to go through the funeral.

We're going to spend all of our efforts and energy on the grief process here. Are you all going to have a funeral? She wanted to be cremated. Okay. So, and then she's going to be buried with my stepfather. Okay. But y'all will have some sort of family ceremony of some sort? There won't be a family ceremony.

It's, yeah, we're not from the area. She's in Florida. So first and foremost, please, please come up with some sort of thing. Invite a couple of friends over. I know family can be estranged and they can be spread out all over the country and different levels of relationship there.

I get that. One of the most important things you can do is have some sort of touchstone. Even if it's just you and your husband, that you all write a letter to your mom and you read it out loud over a sunset. You all go light a fire and you throw some notes, whatever that is, have invite a couple of friends over to have a glass of wine and cheers and play your mom's favorite records, whatever that is. Even if you and your mom did not have a great relationship, it's important to have a touchstone moment.

Um, uh, people always ask me, should I just go ahead and skip the funeral? And I said, come hell or high water, skip that funeral. So if y'all aren't going to have one, I'm going to look to you to say, hey, this is something that we need to do. The second thing is I think without an executor, let me back up. It doesn't sound like there's anything there. But it also sounds like you have taken it upon yourself to go through this. Walk me through why you're doing that.

You know, I spent decades in the military, and, you know, that's what you do. You take responsibility for taking care of these loose ends. Yeah. Do you have brothers and sisters that are fighting you on it? Oh, no. My brother is on disability. He is really disengaged. When we went to the hospital, the first thing he wanted to do was go through her purse and get her debit card.

So what you need to do with the hospital, are you still in connection there or have you gone back home? We're still in Florida right now. Okay. Get multiple copies of the death certificate from the hospital. I'd get 10 copies. It's just kind of a rule of thumb because you're going to need to send them to credit card companies and to gas companies, whoever. But I would notify the bank ASAP that she is deceased and to put a stop action on all cards because they're going to come looking for that money. Okay. So I would call the bank, put a stop on it and let the bank know this isn't a time for your brother to run up, run up the bank. And then I would call a probate lawyer and

say, we've got a will here that my mother passed away. We have a will and there is no named executor, and we need some help walking through this thing. And they'll help you file the petition with the county and all that kind of stuff, okay? And then you'll take that death certificate, and you'll send notice to all the creditors and all this stuff. At some point, they may sell off, depending on how much she owes,

they may sell off that trailer and sell off the land, and your brother's going to have to find another place to live. They may not. Who knows how much she owes and to whom and all that right kathy how does that how does how's that hit you yeah um i i can go ahead and uh call the probate lawyer and um get something get something going yeah and i think as much as that you said there were three bags hanging on the back of the door with just loose ends and papers and all that. And as much as you can to go through and as much detail that you can find to sit down because you'll want an estate attorney as well to go through some of that and kind of walk through it all just so that you have a plan.

But as much detail as you can bring always is helpful. And I would let the probate attorney know this is not a, nobody's leaving the estate with assets. This is going to be an asset-free dissolution of this estate. And so I'm not going to come in here, you're not going to make $10,000 off of us. We need to come up with a small fee that we can help you untangle this

and then we're going to settle these debts and then we're going to move on. Um, and we're going to step away from this. And at some point your brother, if he is disabled and unable to act for himself, then you've got to figure out what comes next there. Um, if you take over power of attorney for him and medical power, all that kind of stuff, if he's disabled, but he's still receives a social security check and he's still, or disability from the military, he's still doing his thing, then you and your husband grieve. But please don't leave Florida without some sort of small ceremony, some sort of touchstone that y'all can start there.

And then we'll settle this thing and head back home. And I'm so, so sorry. Rachel, the number of times I've sat with somebody, the nuts and bolts of a loved one passing is so hard. Because that phone bill still comes and that electric bill still comes. And it's just like somebody hit you in the face and hit you in the face.

It just keeps coming. And then the poor people who sold you tires three years ago will send you something that says, hey, so and so, your tires are due to be rotated. And you think they're not even here. You know what I mean? So that kind of stuff just is the worst. Not to mention, how do you sell the house?

And how do you? It's just so hard. The grief process. Have a clear will. Yeah. So I would say a couple of things, you guys listening. It's like these conversations are always difficult when you're talking about death and especially you know when it's unexpected um but to to remember that there are things you can do now for your family to love them really well if something were to happen to you and i

think i love what she said of just taking this responsibility she's taking this on for her mom um but if you're listening things that you can do do, you know, we call it the legacy drawer, but to really though, if you haven't, tonight, sit down and find all of the important documents that you need, that if something were to happen, your spouse, your family member, your grown kids, anyone can pull out a drawer that there is a file

and everything is right there, that you're not going through and finding all these random places and and half of it's not there and it's a bank you know place over here you know a security deposit box and you don't know you know i mean it can just be a disaster because to the point that if something were to happen the grief process is so huge just emotionally the toll it takes on you losing someone that you love and then you're having to throw into these logistics. She's not even, you know, she's three days.

And she's having to sit here and think about attorneys and all of it. It's just hard. So anything you can do on this side to really help set your family up is really to love them well. And here's what a legacy box, there's digital ones now that they're coming out with

that are amazing and awesome. And the old school one like I have in my house like my dad's got in his house is I got a fireproof box with here's where the life insurance policy is here's where the will is here's where these things are

so that anybody who comes title cars has to come to my house real estate anything that's right and who's going to come to my house and go into my home

because I'm no longer alive and is going to have to figure out what to do next and I got two little kids I want it to be right there. All of it, yes. And here's who to call. Here's the right person.

Here's the numbers to those people. And I don't know. It was one of the more peaceful exercises I've been a part of, going through the numbers and the stuff and the this and put it all together. I just felt at peace. And I'll give props to both sides of our family. My parents have done this.

Ann Winston's family has done this. Where they did. They listed out every everything and it's just like, man, the intentionality is so great. So that you guys, if you don't have life insurance, get term life.

If someone's dependent upon your income, I mean, again, these are not fun conversations to have, but think about it. Plan about this as part of your financial legacy. So press into this stuff and really leave, um,

leave a great legacy to your family. This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you. The housing market is hot, and it has been for a while, so your house could be worth a lot more today than it was when you bought it. And that means your old insurance policy might not give you enough coverage anymore. And what's the point of paying for insurance that won't swing the cost to repair or rebuild your home? Dude, that would make me... Insane. If you lost your house in a fire and you show up and they're like, yep, here's your check.

And you're like, they only cover half the cost. You're like, well, I don't know how to say this in insurance terms, but sucks to be you. Sorry, lumber's up. Now, some policies will automatically raise your coverage to cover rising home prices or material costs, but not all of them. If your home's value has gone up or it's been over a year since you checked your homeowner's policy, talk to one of our endorsed local providers. Our ELPs are independent agents who will compare multiple policies to find the best coverage. Visit ramseysolutions.com slash home and find out why they're Ramsey trusted. They put you first. ramseysolutions.com slash home. All right. So Rachel, um, during the break, James brought this in. I think it's right along what we were talking about is that it's an article more than half

of Americans feel embarrassed talking to others about their finances. So something when I was doing, I was counseling clients in counseling practice, dude, within two or three sessions, they would talk about their sex lives. They would talk about things they liked, things they didn't like, intimate stuff. They would not talk about debt. How much debt do you have?

They'd just be like, I'm not ready. Like it was such a core thing. And it's been a long time wondering why. And the only thing I can come up with is it's a, it's a actual metric scorecard. You know what I mean? You've said this before.

It is like a, you can't hide. You know what I mean? You've said this before, and I think it's so true. It is like a, you can't hide, you know what I mean? Like you say, I love English class because I can just write a good essay and kind of tell you what I feel about it.

Math class is hard, dude, because there's a right answer and a wrong answer. With debt, I know there's a number here. And most are not sure why money talk may be taboo. Respondents say that most money,

the most controversial money-related topics are about their parents' finances, debt, and wills. 51% said parents' finances. Debt was 45%. Yeah, one out of two. And wills, 43%. Debt in particular is such a taboo topic that nearly three in five people distort their actual money situation. They lie about it. On social media. I love this. They distort it. No, they lie about actual money situation. They lie about it. On social media. I love this.

They distort it. No, they lie about it. They lie. They can't talk about it. To appear that they're financially stable, 58% of people. So I will say this. One of the things that your parents gave you, that my parents gave you, we just talk about stuff.

You've got to talk about your will. This show is ruined because when someone asks a question, I'm like, well, how much do you make and how much debt do you have? I'm like, I'm wrong. I know. That's such a great dinner. But I mean, really, I'm like, you just get so used to it. It's not a taboo.

Yeah, I'm like, I don't know. It's numbers. Like, you're going to die. I'm numbers. Like, let's just go. Yeah, yeah. And are you going to choose not to or are you going to choose to? And have that conversation.

But wow, wow, wow, wow. But it's, I mean, it's tough. Okay, so I thought this was so funny. Although three in four of the respondents, 76% say, I'm an open book. Ask me anything. Ask me anything. And in reality, 63% say they actually have never discussed money at the dinner table. So they're waiting on everybody else to open the book.

Yes. I'm an open book, but no, I'm not going to talk about this. And again, there's a place, a right and wrong place to do this. Not at the family dinner table by the way it's never a good time to be like so let's go around the table

pass the rolls and how much debt does everybody have and why right don't do that but with your kids I'm like

this should be a dinner table topic why not absolutely everything should be a dinner table topic with your kids I think that is true speaking of that

don't you have cards that help with that I do except I do we do have Sheila has said not at the table. No, not the cards all day long, but there are certain topics at the table. She has said, John, not at the table.

And now my kids, I'll bring something up and they'll be like, not at the table, Dad. So you can guess it's usually body humor. But hey, listen, let's just start norming this. Talk to your parents about their financial situation, where they are, how they got to where they are. Start the conversation like this. Hey, I'm in my 30s, I'm in my 40s. I just need some wisdom.

Will you walk me through how and why you did what you did when it came to money? I'm just trying to learn. Everybody likes to be a good teacher. When you talk about, hey, this is how much debt I have. Will you talk to me about how much debt you have? It sounds like, yeah, like, hey, I've got this much debt. I don't know if this is good.

I don't know if this is bad. Can we talk about it? Hey, do you have a will? Like, I want to honor you when you're gone. And we've never talked about this. And I know this is hard. And I'm not trying to, whatever. Can we talk about it, right?

And parents, please, please give your kids the gift of conversation and openness. Get a will, right? Talk about your debt. Talk about it, right? And parents, please, please give your kids the gift of conversation and openness. Get a will, right? Talk about your debt. Talk about finances. Just be honest and open. That's right. All right, up next we have Micah from Memphis. Micah, welcome to the show.

Hello, can you guys hear me? Yeah, you bet. Yeah, how can we help? All right, awesome. I wanted some advice. I'm about $10,000 upside down on a car that I just never got. And I also have about 15,000 student loans. Okay.

And my current salary, how much I'm making now is about $30,000. A year? So the car is worth $30,000 a year. The car is worth about $30,000. Okay. Yes, $30,000 a year. The car is worth about $32,000. And a Kelley Blue Book is saying about $22,000 to $23,000. Micah, what kind of car is it? It's a Mustang. Of course.

I love that you laugh before you know. You know. You got a car that is exactly your annual salary what was in your head man i don't know i saw i walked in they just gave me a call i was i was doing fine i had a nice little corolla and one day i got a call they say hey come in you might be able to get a nice trade in nice trade oh no yeah i mean they oh man they got you. Hey, here's the good news before Rachel's going to walk you through it. What will you never do again? Nothing close to this.

There you go. See? Hey, how old are you, Micah? I'm 24. You do? Way to learn early, though, Micah. Brother, listen. I was doing stupid stuff like this into my 30s, so you won life.

You won life, man. You made it. You made it. Good for you. Oh, my God. my god that's so great well i'm glad you called okay so in this case i'd sell the car you're gonna have to just take out a loan for the difference so instead of a thirty two thousand dollar loan you're gonna have a ten thousand dollar loan but no car so that means you're gonna really have to uh do you have any money saved? Anything? I'm broke. I'm zero.

So what I'm going to you're going to have to do though is you're going to you're going to need a car. It's not going to be a pretty car. It's not going to be a Mustang. It's not going to be a $32,000 car. We call it a beater around here. This is a $2,000 It's an older Corolla than the one you have. You're going to go back a little bit. That's okay. Only for a short period of time, Micah, this is a $2,000. I mean, you're going to go back to that Corolla. It's an older Corolla than the one you have. Yeah. I mean, you're going to go back a little bit, but that's okay. Only for a short period

of time, Micah. Only for a short period of time. Replace that car and then you're going to start working on this debt. So, you're going to have, you know, 25 grand in debt and you're making 30. So, I want you to, what, can I ask what you do for a living? So, that's the other thing. So right now I'm working justice and security, but Lord willing, in two weeks I start another job. Nice. That's making another $30,000.

There you go. I'll be at 80 hours per week and seven days a week. I just want to get over with it. That's what I'm talking about, Micah. Yes. Oh my God, you're going to double. You're sour. Your life's going to look different so soon and I'm so excited for you. So yes, I would

get rid of the car, take out a loan for the difference, and then you're going to have $25,000 that you're going to be working on. You're going to pay off that car loan first. You're going to first get an emergency fund of $1,000, then working to pay off that $10,000, that $15,000. But making $60,000, and are you single, Micah? Yes, I'm single. I don't stay at home with my parents as well.

Yeah, that's great. Well, you know, the expenses, which means are low, so you're going to be able to knock this stuff out so fast. What was your total debt? $25,000. $15,000 student loan? $15,000 student loan? $15,000 student loan and then

$10,000 if I sell the car. If you sell this car. Okay. When I sell the car. There you go.

Micah. So $15,000 is $25,000 and you're still with your parents. On this day in one calendar year you are debt free

sitting in your new apartment. You got all on your own and you're going to call the show and apartment that's you got all on your own and you're gonna call the show and you're gonna we're gonna cheer you on is that cool?

you got one year of hellacious grind ahead of you hang on the line we're gonna send you a one year subscription to Ramsey Plus

to jumpstart you because we believe in you and we love you man so we're gonna send you Ramsey Plus it's got all the FPU videos it's got the EveryDollar app in it. It's got all the stuff that's going to launch you through this year to keep grinding and grinding and grinding.

Micah, you've got this. Yes. You're awesome, man. I hear the resolve in his voice. It's over. I'm pumped for you. Pumped for you, Micah. Thanks for calling.

This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you. The scripture of today is better as one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. Psalm 84 10. I don't know that there are any shortcuts to doing a good job. Sandra Day O'Connor. All right. Up next, we have Lexi in Dallas. Hey, Lexi. Welcome to the show. Hey, how are you? Doing great. How can we help? Okay, so I'm having a little debate with my mom right now. My husband and I got married last year, and we didn't have a wedding. And so next year, we're thinking about having a destination wedding, but we want to pay for everybody to go so

that's generous is the destination like like a movie theater what's the destination can we are we invited lexi we'll come i'll come we'll come i'm in we're trying to go to either destin or to or to Hawaii whoa well those are those are two you are way way better friend than I am way way how many people Lexi about 15 to 20 people Lexi I won't even send 15 to 20 postcards from my trip to Hawaii. Wow. John barely brings his children anywhere. Okay, so what's the debate about, Lexi?

Because, hey, you could have the money to do this. We're kind of just messing with you. But what's the debate? What's the question? The debate is it will be about $30 be about 30 to 40,000 to send everybody and I'm trying to tell her like well people spend 30 to 40,000 on a wedding for one day all the time so that will be a seven-day trip and so we just thought that it would be better instead of spending that much on one day yeah down here with all of our family.

We would rather take everybody, have everybody that we want there, and then it's a whole seven-day trip for everybody. Do you all have the cash? So we will by that time. We're still paying off debt. We'll be done in probably about a month. But we make about $200 a year okay i mean if you're debt free and you're making that kind of money i mean 30 000 bucks isn't out of balance for a wedding i don't think is it rachel i mean no i mean yeah i mean my rule of thumb always is

if you have the money and it's not an crazy amount of your net worth um that you're able to do it so yeah i mean 30 grand uh it's not my i would i'm gonna be dr john deloney for a second i'm just curious like see your um like your motivation behind paying for everyone because destination weddings are a thing for sure but i think a lot of people that are invited are expected um to pay do you feel for some reason like responsible to that or is it really just out of generosity and you guys make a great, you guys are making 200 grand a year. It's awesome. You just want to be

generous. I just want to hear more about your motivation behind it. Well, yeah, because when we were thinking about having a wedding down here, we didn't think that it was fair for everybody to have to pay for their own suits and their own dresses and everything because we were like, well, if we want people to be in the wedding, then they have to pay you know for their own foods and their own dresses and everything and because we were like well if we want people to be in the wedding then we need to

pay for them to be in the wedding so i guess it's the same kind of motivation by bringing everybody down there like if we want them to be there why make them pay for such an expensive trip yeah well so we in my wedding we had, I had a similar thought. But instead of buying everybody's dresses, my wife told everybody to buy themselves a new dress and everybody had something different. So that was just kind of the way. It wasn't a themed thing, right?

Or I had all the guys wear outfits that they all had, right? And so there's ways around it instead of buying everything for everybody and i do think i think there's a difference between hey we're all getting together in dallas for our wedding we want everybody here and they opt in or opt out versus an all-expense-paid trip to to hawaii let's see how old are you? 24. I'll be 25 in August. Okay. Yeah. Whew.

I mean. It's your money. I wouldn't, but that's your money. Yeah. I mean, you have the ability to because you guys will be debt free, right? Will you have your emergency fund in place by then as well? Yes. Okay.

Yeah. I mean, this is buying a nice car, you know, on Baby Step 4, 5, and 6. I mean, it's the, I don't know. John is cringing over there. It's making me nervous. I mean, it's a, okay, here's, gosh, I don't know why I'm like splitting hairs. Because Destin and Hawaii are two very different price ranges. Yes. So. Go to Destin. How about that? Then I'll be happy. and Hawaii are two very different price ranges.

Go to Destin. How about that? Then I'll be happy. Take everybody to Destin for a week. Y'all have fun and tell everybody y'all have to pay for your own food. I'm going to just caution you, Lexi. My caution is things are usually more expensive than you give them credit for. Especially if you're taking, say 20 people yeah there's no

way you do hawaii for 20 yeah for two thousand dollars a person you won't be able to fly them all there i don't think even like the airline tickets themselves will be 500 right like yeah not not you can't fly and stay in hotels and stuff say do this for a week go to ramsay solutions.com slash savings slash wedding loans let's talk about are wedding loans a good idea, but also, which you know we're going to say no. But in that article, it talks about how to save for a wedding, how to budget for a wedding, how to map all this stuff out, how to get on the same page.

Because you may be like, yeah, I think this is right. And your fiance may be like, I don't know about that. So go to Ramesesolutions.com and just in the search bar, put how to plan for a wedding or wedding loans a good idea. And there's a whole article written on this just for this topic here. Yep, yep.

So our answer is a little fuzzy for you, Lexi. It's like, you can, you have money. I know. Is it necessary? No. It's Hawaii and Destin are two very different destinations. You need to price everything out

and look at options all of it but I would say at 24 because I don't I always hate when people like discriminate on age oh yeah

because I feel like I'm always the young one in life and I was like oh my god you graduated when you're so little you know like

I feel like that happens to me all the time so I do not want to discriminate on your age because I think you can be a bright 24 year old you're debt free make it $200,000 a year

yeah I mean it's awesome it's awesome. It's awesome. But I do think, too, after living life, like, you know, not that you would regret this, but I think you will look up in a few years and be like, that probably wasn't absolutely necessary to pay for everything.

Necessary might be it. Yeah, yeah. Or you might be surprised when somebody says, hey, we're going to go to West Destin. I want 20 of y'all to come. I've rented three homes, and we're all going to split up across these houses in these three homes for the week.

Y'all are responsible for getting yourself there or you're responsible for your food when you're there or let some people have some skin in the game. Yes, that's fair. That's fair. And we're going to throw a big party and you'll cover the cost of the big throwdown. Yeah, that feels good, Sean. That was good.

We worked that one out in real time. We'll figure it out. So, so good. Okay. Well, John, I'm excited for you and your book, the pre-sale,

everything going on with Own Your Past, Change Your Future. Okay. So I want to know from you before we end today's show, what's like the number one thing you would tell people

to work on when it comes to their mental health? Because I feel like anxiety is on the rise, depression, like you hear all this, you hear all these stats and it's just wild. So if someone's listening, they're like, oh, I'm kind of, not uncomfortable with the conversation,

but I don't even know where to start. I don't know what to do. Like, what would be like one thing that you would say to someone? Like, hey, here's a great question to ask yourself or here's one thing to, I don't know. Take an inventory of your friends. Take an inventory of your friends take an inventory of your friends write them down who would i call at 2 a.m if my wife was had to go to the er and had to have somebody come over

and be with the kids who would i call who have i hung out with regularly on a weekly or bi-monthly basis for any period of time more than just, more than just twice that I do life with. Here's the big one. Who can I tell good stuff to? Not just the negative stuff that you see in the hallway and you're like, how's it going? Well, it's hot outside. Not that person. If your kid got a part in a play, what friend would you call? And yes, I'm talking to you, truck driver, men, right? Who would you call and say, hey, something good happened in my life? Hey, my wife just got her book published. My daughter just got straight A's in her

engineering class. Who would you call? Who would you call? Who would you tell bad stuff to? Hey man, I just got laid off. Who would you pick up the phone and call? Who would you drive over and see? You'd grab three beers left and a casserole. Take an inventory of your friends and for most people in America, it is

scary because we are a lonely, lonely crew. Then reach out and go hang out with some people. Start over. So good. So good, you guys. Oh, I love it.

That's why I love this show. We talk about money, relationships, your life, your health, everything. All of it. So on your past, change your future. Dave Ramsey,

RamseySolutions.com. Pre-order today. John, so fun hosting with you. And thank you, America. Did you know over 18 million people listen to The Ramsey Show every week? A lot of those people listen on one of our 600-plus radio stations across the country. To find a station near you, go to RamseySolutions.com slash show.