The Ramsey Show - App - Rebuilding Trust After Financial Infidelity (Hour 1)

Episode Date: September 1, 2022

Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Delony discuss: Rebuilding trust after financial infidelity, How to invest $2.5m. Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Pods Moving and Storage Studio, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. We help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Dr. John Deloney, number one best-selling author, host of the Dr. John Deloney Show, is my co-host today.

Big day today around Ramsey. Hundreds of folks out here in our lobby watching this happen. If you didn't notice, we just changed the intro live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions broadcasting from the Pods Moving and Storage Studio. We have a new sponsor for the studio. And an incredible group of people. They are. They're incredible. It's pretty cool. And, you know know one of the beauties of the the life that i get to lead is i get to meet behind the scenes people that have done huge things and you know people that like i would wanted to have meet when i was a kid if i could meet that guy you know and

these pods the pods leadership team are those kind of people and we've known them for a long time and we've known how well this company operates and how their values are because we don't just you know put the Ramsey show or the Ramsey name and Ramsey logo alongside anybody who writes us a check we're not that easy a girl I'm just saying so I mean we really we really uh we we want to align ourselves with companies that think the way we do all the way through and that way we know that when we tell you guys out there that something's ramsey trusted that you can trust what we said that we didn't just we're not sellouts right you know and so lots and lots of diligence gone into this we're

really really careful and uh we wondered is there a connection to a moving and storage company and uh well we've endorsed real estate agents for decades right i mean i don't know maybe millions of transactions certainly hundreds of thousands of transactions with ramsey real estate elps and uh if you sold your house i reckon you needed to move right and uh both into and out of right exactly you got it there's a lot going on there right and so um and you need a company that you work with moving man moving companies some of them are like yeah it's tough man it's like i mean some of them are good but some of them are like the whole idea is ick to start with having to uproot myself and my stuff i have my little nest made and i gotta be disorganized

and i'm ocd i can't stand that you kind of live in that world but that drives me nuts me too and so you know then you get a company that like sort of does what they're supposed to do so no no no we're not doing this we're not doing this we're not doing this we need a company that that you can work with that cares about you cares about your stuff shows up when they're supposed to. You know, and we searched high and low, and then we got connected with these guys, and we're really excited about it. I have, sitting behind closed doors, listening to the conversations and walking through this product and what this, more so than the product,

just the service this group offers. I think of myself, my wife, and my two little kids trying to get from point A to point B, and, hey, we're going to move on this day, and then this happens, and then we can't move on that. This company's thought through everything. They've thought through everything. And they make it accessible for a knucklehead like me to actually get out of my home and stay married and still have a, like, not have buried my kids in the yard. You can kill each other moving. To death.

You can kill them to death. Kill them to death. Exactly. That'll do it. Yeah, so it's just, man, it's so cool just to see the stuff and think man so 23 million people will move each year in the u.s one in five ramsey listeners tell us that they plan to move in the next year and pods has been trusted with over six million moves they're the industry lane leader in container and container moving and storage

you can pack store move your container move do it on your terms so they bring it to your driveway set it there they'll leave it there as long as you want right pick it up if you your closing gets messed up they can store it for you and deliver it later or they can pick it up and take it straight to the new house and all that the flexibility. And nowadays everything's so chaotic. Well, it changes on the fly. And so you just pick up the phone and go, ah, we're not going to really be dropping this thing in such and such city yet. We've got to get that deal fell through,

but we're going to have to put it in storage because we've got to get out of the other house. We're in corporate housing for a little bit, and our stuff is in storage. And you don't have to move it six times in and out. Unpack it, pack it, pack it, pack it. That's the part that breaks up couples, right? That breaks up people's brains.

Oh, man. And the drivers that drive the containers, they all work for the company like they're team members. That's the part that is their love the most. Hey, Joe, just get the thing out there and throw it around. Or you hire this company who then outsources it to this guy who then halfway he outsources the rest of it it's not you don't know it's not contract we don't know who's coming in here yeah this is a guy matter of fact the guy that brought we've got a pod outside and the guy that brought it lives over my old neighborhood in antioch yeah and so me and will been hanging out out there and uh great guy he's the driver that brought it brought the one we got

one sitting outside and as soon as i got here this morning, the team started asking, are we moving? That's right. No, it wouldn't all fit in one pod, hon. I'm just telling you. But, yeah. So, really, really good stuff. And the cool thing, I saw this video. They started talking to me about this.

When they set the thing down, if you pick it up and it slants, you know, all your crap slides to the back and crashes into itself and breaks, right? Yeah, they've got these, like, supercomputer supercomputer things out there it's called a podzilla and so it slides it grabs it and keeps it level picks it up sets it on the truck podzilla is a great name i was gonna say that's if anyone named a podzilla it would be dave ramsey that would well i mean this is like you know yes boys with trucks you know's what I mean. Yeah, you put the Podzilla. It keeps it level the whole time. And when they set it off on the other driveway, if you're like in Tennessee and you have a hill, there's levelers, and they can keep the thing. It does never slide all your junk to the back or your precious items. I'm sorry, not your junk.

Your precious items to the back. You don't want to throw your precious items to the back. So they're hanging out with us today. We've got hundreds of people in the lobby today. And you people in the lobby, there's hats and there's all kinds of good swag stuff, good drink glasses and what do you call them? Tumblers. Tumblers. Thank you. But they're like a hot, hot, hot thing. So that's good. Yeah. Check them out. We got good pods moving in storage. And with our headsets on, we really can't

wear these proper hillbilly way sideways or cool dude way or i'm you kick you kick the brim up that's i'm friendly that's not what that means put this down you put this down it means i i don't think i'm friendly right so you're a country music star we can't do well yeah there's that or wannabe one that's exactly right there anyway you guys get the swag out there it's out there for you guys we want you to enjoy it um and make sure there's none left for the people tomorrow just don't don't leave anything for the people tomorrow i'm telling you and hey let's reiterate this as as an employee coming in here i had to turn over mris and x-rays like that's how thorough you vetted me this company was super our eyes we want to know if you had any

back problem that's exactly right you didn't really but you you were very thorough and when it comes to vetting of partners like you said it's not a sign-up sheet and it's not just writing a check. This is a company that's thought through how can we take care of people. And then behind closed doors, they're great human beings. Yeah. And that, to me, is the winning combo. I mean, can I trust you and we actually do what you say we do? The Bible talks about the anointing drops from the beard.

If the leadership team sucks but the company's good, it ain't going to be long before the company sucks. That's right. And so, you know, and even if the company's got issues, if you've got a good leadership team, they'll fix the issues. Right. So, you know, we do. We have issues around here sometimes, but we fix them. Right. You know, and so we've even talked to some of our team members that have used Pods Moving and Storage.

They loved it. The new Pods Moving and Storage Studio. It's not a new studio, same old studio, but it's now a newly named Pods Moving and Storage Ramsey Studio. Woo-hoo! Welcome to the gang, guys. Welcome into the family, boys and girls. This is the Ramsey Show. We'll see you next time. 19 minutes after the hour dr john deloney ramsey, is my co-host today. We are newly broadcasting from the Pods Moving and Storage studio. Got a little pod up here behind us, John, in the bookshelf.

So those of you watching on YouTube, you can see our little miniature pod. There's a full-size one outside. Hey, we know a lot of you are scared right now. I was just taping a spot for Fox News just a few minutes ago, and the number of 20 million people getting ready to have their electricity cut off. That's pretty scary. Wow. That's pretty scary.

And if you feel like you're drowning and you feel like you're terrified and you don't have enough to take care of your family, you don't have to live in fear. I've been there. I know how it feels. And finally, at the bottom of that, my fear changed to anger, and I said, I've had it. I've had it.

I'm not living like this. You can't keep doing the same thing over and over and expect a different result something's got to change and maybe it's time to try financial peace university you've been thinking about it somebody's been telling you about it you've been putting it off and maybe it's time to go all in on the ramsey way the course will teach you our step-by-step plan to get out of debt save save for emergencies, build wealth, be outrageously generous. It's worked for almost 10 million people have been through this class. Right now, we're offering it at the lowest price we ever have.

Stop living in fear. Go to RamseySolutions.com slash FPU. RamseySolutions.com slash FPU. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Sarah is in Fresno, California. Hi, Sarah. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi. Hey, what's up? Okay. Hi. How are you two doing today? Great. How can we help? Okay. So in September, I applied for a mortgage forbearance, and initially I did not tell my husband and it went on until about this past July. I woke up in the middle of the night with anxiety and God was pushing me to tell him. And so I talked to him about it. We have not combined our incomes. And I'm just overwhelmed

and I don't know what to do at this point. What about him made you feel like the best path forward for your safety was to lie to him? Honestly, I just didn't want him to get mad and I didn't want him to know about my spending. And I was going to only let it go on for about a month or two. So this, this wasn't you being scared of, of an abusive guy or a frightening guy. It was you hiding from him. Yes. Shame. Yes.

Shame. Yes. Um, at the end of November, my, my stepson passed away, so I just, his son. And so I just let it go cause it was stressful time. Yeah. Okay. I just his son and so I just let it go because it was stressful time yeah okay so the house that you and your husband live in you're supposed to be financially responsible for by yourself um well well we I pay the mortgage and he pays the other other bills but or in this case you don't pay the mortgage yeah are you not paying because you don't have any money are you not paying because you spend

out of control you don't have and you're not saving right yes that's it i spend out of control and i'm not saving anything and we have a lot of debt and five years we'll'll marry six years next month. So how far behind are you on the mortgage now? About $16,000. The forbearance is over and the past due has been added to the end of my term. So I have to start remaking payments. So you're current right now? Yes. The 16 got laid on the back? Yes. So he knows all of this? Yes, I discussed it with him. And I've been asking if we could just combine our incomes and do a budget, and we talked about all of our expenses, but I have the EveryDollar app,

and I just want to be able to do everything with him. And it's just hard getting him to sit down with me and do a budget. But hold on. You've been cheating on him for a year. Yeah. Right? And so I can imagine his trepidation to sit down at the table with you and be like, oh, okay, it's all cool. You see what I'm saying?

He's going to need some time to heal, man. You've been lying to him, especially through a trauma, right? And so you said we discussed it. That's usually a word for we passed along information back and forth. Have you sat down and said, I wronged you and I'm sorry? No, I haven't. Okay. In our world, in the financial world, the phrase we use for this is financial infidelity.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, that's why John said you cheated on him. Because it's a breach of trust similar to, not the same, but similar to sexual infidelity. And so this is what you're dealing with. This is a pretty serious schism, canyon, scar in your relationship that we've got to work to heal. Okay? Yes. And so, now, I don't know, John, you can throw this out.

I don't expect him, and you don't either. I don't think anybody in this discussion expects him to trust you instantly, blindly. That's right. There's no reason to. He'd be nuts if he did yeah that would be that would be weird okay but can we rebuild communication and can we rebuild trust yes we can't and the best way to do that is to work on your money together and both of you are watching everything the other one does because we are doing this together all of his spending all of your spending all of the bills are all accessible to both of you because we are working our house our plan together and so get it you know um maybe the way to work on it is this um uh i'm with john you start maybe with an apology

to lead the conversation this time. Hey, I missed you over. I didn't want to. I did it out of shame, but it doesn't matter. It's just the same thing. It's a breach of trust, and I'm really sorry. Now, I'm scared. I'm scared about two things.

Number one, I'm scared because I don't want to do this by myself anymore. I need some help. I want to be engaged. I want to be accountable. I want everybody to know what's going on. And so I need your help. And I'm scared that if we're not working together and you're not seeing everything, it's going to be hard for you to rebuild trust so if we were to work together it would be you helping me and simultaneously you get to trust me over time because you see us doing this together the right way this money stuff

how's that conversation go a lot better than it had in the past because i want you to catch the magic of what dave just told you that conversation is entirely about you you're not sitting down across the table saying hey you need to be doing this stuff for me it's not that it's you saying i screwed up i'm scared will you help me will you walk with me and i want to rebuild trust and a good way to do that is for you to see everything while we're doing it together. Yeah, that would be amazing. I know I take responsibility, obviously, because it's my responsibility.

We're not here to shame you. It's just the beauty of a conversation like that is you don't have to throw any grenades on his side of the table. You can hold them all in your hands, and that takes you to to some really cool places so um i i think you got a shot at this if that kind of a conversation does not bring the two of you to start working on your money together you need marriage counseling okay and here's one thing i want you to try okay you may need it anyway yeah i i think you're going to anyway because you've been through a trauma he lost a son right y'all been through a lot yeah um and he found out he might be losing his home right that's been that's a scary season he's been through um here's what i want you to do personally i want you to go to home depot or lowe's or something and i want you to buy a cinder block

and i want you to put a piece of duct tape on it that just says, I lied about my money to the man that I love. And I want you to carry it around for 15 or 20 minutes at your house and feel how heavy that sucker is. And your shoulders are going to get heavy and your hands are going to hurt. And then I want you to take it into the backyard, set it down, rip that duct tape off of it and never pick that shame up again. Fair? Yes. Because if every time you sit down to talk about budget, that shame comes back up, you're going to get feisty again.

You're going to blame. You're going to poke. You're going to hide. And we need that shame to be away. And secrets, man, that's the gasoline for shame. No more secrets. When I filed bankruptcy and I was 28, it was my fault. I was stupid. I had to do that exact exercise.

I had to set it down and go, I did something stupid. I am not stupid. There you go. It's not an identity thing. This is the Ramsey Show. Thank you. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage. Casey and Elise are with us. It is Elise? Correct. Good. Welcome, welcome. Where do you guys live?

Des Moines, Iowa. Cool, cool. Well, good to have you guys. All right, Casey, what'd you do to the foot? Broke it in doing yard work here about a week and a half ago. Anything to get out of yard work. Yeah, I wanted her to pack the van before we left. You've got to come up with a better story, man. That you kung-food somebody. I was chasing a bear. I was chasing a bear away from my children. Oh my gosh. Well, welcome guys. Y'all live, where do you live? West Des Moines. So

just west of, on the west side of Des Moines, Iowa. Good deal. How much debt have you paid off? We paid off $260,000, $260,047.86. Love it. How long did this take? 10 years and one month. All right. And your range of income during that time? We started around 70,000. We peaked in 2019 at about $190,000. And then we went down to about $150,000 for a couple years. And this year, we're projecting to be north of $300,000. Whoa! Nice jump.

Okay. Pretty cool. What do you all do for a living? I'm a veterinary technician in surgery. And I own my own MEP,e.p mechanical electrical plumbing engineering consulting firm oh and it's doing well it's just doing really well right now yeah a little construction boom well way to go okay i'm guessing 260 000 over 10 years maybe you paid off your house yes sir i love it how old are you weird people 36 and i just turned 35 last weekend 36 and 35 and what's this house worth about three

and a quarter good deal how much in your uh retirement savings we're 120 130 right now okay so you're bumping a half million dollar net worth already on the personal side and you throw the business in there's a bit more there so oh yeah you might be over a million we're there yeah i love it baby steps millionaire i love it way to go you two 35 year old millionaires i like talking to these with no rent yeah and not a payment in the stinking world way to go all right what's put you on this ramsey way 10 years ago so i was on a trip to chicago for a convention and kelly that's sitting over here and i were in the car together for what six seven hours and i was complaining about my credit card company not increasing my limit for me and he had just gotten married and taken financial peace and was like hey

have you heard of dave ramsey before and i was like well i think i've heard of him on the am radio a couple of times. So we listened to a couple of debt-free screams on the way to Chicago. The way back, we listened to podcasts from you all the way back. I was fired up. And it was like, hey, we got to do this. He came home, was telling me about it. I'm a natural saver.

So I was like, yeah, I'm on board with this. Yeah. Makes sense to me. Where have you been? I was ready to do this before took some goober on the radio to get you to do it yeah way to go guys all right so you sit down what happened after you get home you both said we're in we sat down and i might be a little bit of a nerd i had every dollar we'd spent for the last seven years in spreadsheets but i'd never actually put it together to see how

much we were spending so we put our together. She made some cash envelopes with old T-shirts. She sewed them together. This is after. Oh, that was after FPU. That's right. We wanted to take FPU. And we're like, we couldn't come up with $100. We were making almost about $70,000.

And we couldn't come up with $100 to buy the class. And so Kelly and his wife purchased the class for us. Oh, my. Yeah. Wow, that's cool. Paying it forward. Yeah. Yeah. And now you're millionaires. And now we're millionaires. Way. Oh, my. Yeah. Wow, that's cool. Paying it forward. Yeah. And now you're millionaires.

And now we're millionaires. Way to go, Kelly! Touchdown! I like it! Woo! Man, if you weren't tripping over mowers in the yard, you'd be all cylinders, man. Yep.

I kept waiting for you to say, my company does mechanical, plumbing, electric, and landscaping, but you left that one out. What was your biggest fight in 10 years? What was the hardest thing for you all to work through? We sold the cars in 2013. Yeah, that was a hard one.

When I told her I was selling my Acura TL, she teared up. She knew how much I loved that car. And it was at that point that I was done. I was like, we need to get rid of this debt. Um, she, uh, she lost her job. What we were halfway through the class, maybe a month and a half in, and this was back when it was 13 weeks. And that was a huge wake up call for us because I realized that if I lost my job, we were already in trouble with her losing her job, but I was 70% of our income. If we lost my income, it was bankruptcy is what we were looking at. And so we kicked it pretty hard and sold the cars. And that was a total God situation. Got you in a place where all you had left was the house. Yeah, we cleared $30,000 in debt that month that we sold the cars.

Oh! Yeah. I sold my TL for $6,000 more than I owed on it. I was planning to spend $5,000 or $6,000 on another car and looked at some cute cars that weekend, paid $3,200 for two Camrys, and that then had covered the gap on her car, her Lexus RX350 that we bought right after I bought my TL.

And her parents ended up buying it from us, paying us $3,000 more than the dealership was going to. Which is a better deal for them. Yeah. Good. And then I paid off my last student loan a month and a half later. That finished off Baby Step 2, which was $91,000. How do you stay with it 10 years, we coordinated over 12 classes oh wow at least 12 that we can think of so yeah okay he gave you financial peace university how many have you given

away oh i at least five or ten yeah yeah i figured that $100 cost you $500. Yeah. It was a regular wedding gift. Some other people as well. Yeah, that's what happens to me too. I love that. How has this strengthened your marriage over the last decade? We're way stronger together, bound together tighter. Lines of communication opened up when we started it. And we don't have that stress anymore. There's still things we've got to figure out in the budget,

especially grocery prices going up as they are, and we have three kids that... Medical bills. Medical bills, yeah. But seriously, how does it feel to not have a house payment? Unbelievable. Opens up the doors that we're able to do some really fun things. I've got a cousin that's going through a really rough situation. Recently becomes a single mom of five with no income.

And we just talked to her on the way down. We were able to send her a really nice birthday present. Yeah. Make sure those kids eat. Good man. Good couple. Well done, you two. And that's why we do this, right?

You live like no one else, so later you can live and give like no one else. Touchdown, baby. Touchdown. I love you guys you're heroes man you're awesome very very very cool great job okay you taught all these classes you did it you're 35 years old your baby steps millionaires you paid off your house when someone says how do you get out of debt what do you tell them the key is you gotta have the why you gotta have the perseverance uh to push you through because it's exciting at first but you gotta you gotta get through that marathon it's not exciting at second yeah third or fourth or fifth or third yeah home is exciting first is exciting second third not exciting pain in the butt yeah so yeah you gotta persevere and the only thing that does

that's your why what did you guys define as your why, why you're doing this? For me? Oh, go ahead. No, you're fine. It's helping those single moms, those widows, those people that really need that step up, the hand up, and be able to teach them Christ's love and minister to people in a way that a lot of people can't because they're so leveraged. Yeah, okay. All right, let's bring the kiddos up. I want to meet them. We've got a copy of Baby Steps because they're so leveraged. Yeah. Okay. All right. Let's bring

the kiddos up. I want to meet them. We got a copy of Baby Steps Millionaires for you since you are one. My latest number one bestseller. We've got a Financial Peace University membership for a year. Another one you can give away. That's perfect. And a total money makeover book for you to give away as well. All right. What are the kiddos' names and ages? We have Emilia, that's eight. Jeremiah is five. And James is nine months. All right, go James. Love it.

Good stuff. Good stuff. Well, you guys changed your family tree. You took control of your life, and you went from making $70,000 to making $300,000 through the journey, 100% debt-free and become Baby Steps Millionaire's house and everything. You're impressive. So proud of you.

Thank you. Very, very well done. Good stuff. Good stuff. All right, Casey and Elise, Des Moines, Iowa, $260,000 paid off in 10 years and one month, making $70,300. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream.

Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Yeah! Yeah! Woo-hoo! Love it! How fun is that? This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225.

Danny's in Dodge City, Kansas. Hey, Danny, how are you? Good, how are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up? Well, great. I was calling to find out last year I sold some property that I had had

for around four years in Colorado, and by the time the expenses and everything were paid out and I walked away and put into a trust like 2.5 million dollars I hate it when that happens the CPA and the lawyer that set up the trust for me the cta was talking to me about like annuities and all that and i just didn't at the time think last year was a great time to invest invest it so it's just been in the bank and now i'm starting you know i'm 51 years old starting to wonder is it time to put that to work for me through some passive income or something. And what other investments do you have? Me and my wife each have Roths with about 300,000 minimum apiece.

I have some farm ground that's worth a half million dollars. It's paid off. We have our house. We owe $30,000 on a car. Well, you've done really well. Well, congratulations. Yes, I've done well, and this is money that's kind of just a windfall from that investment. Well, let's just think about some basics for a second, okay?

If $2.5 million owns almost nothing, which is what it's earning right now, or if it earned 10%, that'd be $250,000. So every year it sits there earning nothing, you're missing out on $250,000. Right. So we need to do something with it, to be wise. Right. Okay. And I just didn't know last year where the market was heading.

Well, I don't care where the market's headed on the short term. All I care about long term, because you're not going to jump in and jump out and jump in and jump out. I'm not going to teach you to day trade or buy Bitcoin or some kind of bull crap like that. I'm going to teach you to invest long term. That's what I do. Right. Now, I buy two things, Danny. You can buy whatever you want to buy, but I buy two things,

both of which make me more than a 10% rate of return on average. Some years not, some years a lot more, but an average of over 10. One is I buy a series of good growth stock mutual funds, spreading my investments in growth, growth in income, aggressive growth in international. The second thing I buy is I buy real estate that I pay cash for, that is income-producing real estate. you've had pretty good luck with real estate so you may want to consider some of each uh but even if you went heavy real estate i wouldn't be mad at you

for that it's up to you which one do you want to do but you need to put this in you know go buy you a nice little uh office warehouse or a strip center or an office building or something that's producing you know a couple hundred thousand dollars a year for your you know your two million dollar investment here uh that kind of a thing and or maybe you do a million dollar in real estate you do a million and a half in mutual funds i don't care but we never do investing for the short term that's not investing that's speculating right we do long term when you bought that farm ground you didn't buy it for what it do the next But we never do investing for the short term. That's not investing. That's speculating. Right.

We do long term. When you bought that farm ground, you didn't buy it for what it'd do the next week or two years later. You bought it for what it'd be long term. Right. That's an investment mindset. Investing is a mindset. Speculating is a mindset. So, you know, get with a good real estate agent. Pick you out some income-producing property or jump on Ramsey solutions.com click on smart investor pro and um sit down with one of the

people that we trust in the smart investor world that we're not in that business but they can help you with some mutual funds and do some of each or all in one or all in the other i don't care but leaving it just sit there no no. An annuity, no. And don't use your CPA for financial advice. They're not good at it. Is there a clock on that money, Dave, before it, like with capital gains? No, he already paid it. He's already paid it, okay.

It's done. Okay. Yeah, that's done. Sticking it in a trust doesn't hide it from capital gains. Okay. But, John, I think the important thing, regardless of if it's 2.5 million or if it's 100,000, you know, in your 401k, you need to stop and think about what you're not getting by sitting there.

Yeah, there's some great psychological research on we underestimate what we don't get by sitting on the sidelines. We're so terrified to risk. We're so terrified to put stuff out there. We calculate that and we over-inflate that, but we under-inflate what we don't get by sitting on the sidelines we're so terrified to risk we're so terrified to put stuff out there we calculate that and we over inflate that but we under inflate what we miss by sitting on the sidelines and i think it's the same part of our brain that i read one thing that said if you lose ten dollars a share on stock you have to make fifty dollars to level the feeling to level the feeling out because ten10 does more damage to your psychology than a $50 gain does five to one to your psychology.

And so it's the same thing on that. But what we're talking about here is financial people call it opportunity cost. Yes. You have the opportunity to do this with it. And we used to do this in an old Financial Peace University lesson a thousand years ago. We don't do it anymore. I rolled a Mercedes out onto the, out onto the thing. We disconnected the battery. We were inside this church doing the video shoot. Right. But we rolled this Mercedes out and we said, okay, if you put a hundred thousand dollars in this in 10 years, you'll have nothing right you know or virtually nothing right if you put a hundred

thousand dollars in a mutual fund in 10 years here's what you'll have and it's like a million bucks right and so so even even if the market was half of that just by parking it you're losing out on six figures yeah so you're you know if you put it in the wrong thing and it goes down like a car or you consume it yeah or you do nothing or it says making you know a quarter of a percent of savings account you're missing the upside so it's the by putting the money in the mercedes you miss the opportunity to having invested and it's okay to buy a mercedes of course i've got one okay nothing evil about that but you need to think about when you're doing it, that money is no longer working. Yes. It's now lazy money.

It's depreciating. Or if it's going down in value, it's welfare money, right? It's lazy money. It's going the wrong way, right? Right. But what you want is you've got to think about if that money was working, breaking a sweat, what would it do? And the thing about money is it works 24-7. It never gets sick.

It never quits. It never gets mad at COVID. It never has a hissy fit. It doesn't think it's a snowflake. It just works all the time. It's the best employee you'll ever have. It just works and works and works and works and works and works. But you got to put it to work because it doesn't work.

I'm thinking about this out loud in real time. I've never thought of it. I'm guessing that everybody needs to know where they fall on that risk continuum because I identify with that last caller. If I got a windfall, I would say, I don't know what to do. I'll stick it somewhere, and I'd look up in 10 years and it'd still be there. But I can also imagine other people would rush to just start wheeling and dealing it and they're gonna end up losing some of it so and that's the

other end you gotta know where you are so uh you know being paralysis of the analysis is is not good yeah and being rash and gambling is not good right but you have to take enough risk to not miss out on what life has well it's almost this is why you and i jumped out of an airplane the other day you know you got you got a junk you got it you know you got to take enough risk to live that's right and also it's good to have a former navy seal strapped to your back so you're probably gonna that's helpful you're probably gonna land right um that yeah that's that's really good and heading into that having a plan man having a plan is everything i think about all the training guys in the military will

do so that when they hit a chaotic situation, it just goes to rote. I'm going to do this, and then this, and then this, and then this. Yeah, it goes to muscle memory. Right. So when I- Autopilot. Autopilot. If I live with the little stuff, when I get a $2.5 million windfall or $25,000 or whatever that is, I already have the game plan for what we're going to do with that money. And we were just hanging with some SEAL guys the other day, and they were telling us the same thing. It's not really when you hit chaos or if you hit chaos.

It's just when. It will. That's right. And so if you've done the training, your brain is ready. You're going to autopilot when stuff goes sideways. That's right. Not exactly the way they said it, but yeah, when things go sideways, right? And so, yeah.

But that's what separates folks, right? But it's the same thing's true with money, okay? So, yes, you should not throw money around in something just because somebody said to. You need to understand what you put the money in. That may take a hot minute, but it doesn't take five years. And it doesn't take, you know, like we, you know, I took a call in the early days of the show. This guy had like, he had like 20,000 bucks in rolls and buried in his backyard in a coffee can. And he's like, so what do you think of that? And I said, I think you're losing $2,000 a year.

How long has it been back there? 10 years. I said, you've lost more than the money in the can. And you ought to go check the money in the can because paper money doesn't do real well in moisture. It might be gone by now. So, you know, you do have risk, buddy. It's called rust. And worms.

Yeah. And neighbors with a metal detector. We've got worms. I know it's back here somewhere. I saw him burying it. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, it's John Deloney, co-host of The Ramsey Show. Did you know over 18 million people listen to The Ramsey Show every week?

A lot of those people listen on one of our 600-plus radio stations across the country. To find a station near you, go to RamseySolutions.com slash show.