The Ramsey Show - App - Remember: It’s a Starter House Not a Dream House (Hour 1)

Episode Date: February 15, 2023

Ken Coleman & Dr. John Delony answer your questions and discuss:   "I'm not sure what I want to do for a career", Saving for a starter home, and why you shouldn't let comparison drive your decision, from the blog: How to Save for a House, "What should I do for work after I retire?", "I can't get a promotion in the family business". Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Pods Moving and Storage Studio, this is The Ramsey Show. It's where we talk with you about your life, specifically your money, your relationships, and your work. And all three of those areas are absolutely tied together. And if you're not winning in one of those areas, I promise you this, you're losing in the other areas. And we want to give you some practical steps so that you have a clear path forward. Hope-filled advice. I'm Ken Coleman. He is Dr. John Deloney.

We're here together for you. It is a free phone call, 888-825-5225, 888-825-5225. Now listen, I got to call this out. For those of you that are longtime listeners, new listeners, you're going, hey, this really is more than just a money show. And you got two non-money experts today. So take the advice with, shall we say, a light grip, John. Sell the truck. Then we'll just go ahead and say it now. That's what we're going to say. We're going to say no debt, and we're going to give you your basic money advice. But I do want you to take advantage of this opportunity.

John and I, we get the awesome privilege to travel together all around the country, and we do kind of a pre-event free-for-all where we sit together on a stage at Building Wealth Live, and we take people's questions around relationships and mental health and work. And John, we find many times at those events that we end up both answering the same question. It's all braided together, man. It's all braided together. So mental health, struggling. Hey, here's one how about taking uh john and i for a spin on toxic workplaces you're in a toxic work environment those are fun for us because they do involve both of our vantage points and uh so whatever your money question your relationship

question anxiety questions mental health work all of it together john and i are here so let's go blake is going to start us off in Madison, Wisconsin. Blake, how can we help? How's it going, guys? We're having a blast. What's going on with you today? I'm starting to turn my life around here. This new year has been a big start in the right direction, but right now I'm back from college. I'm a coving addict and I'm not sure exactly what I want to do. I have so many ideas in my head for a career. And I'm just like, I got to make sure I'm doing the right thing here. What's the nature of your addiction, brother?

Oh, sorry. I don't know if you could hear that. That was an alarm. No, I didn't hear it uh my addiction was alcohol and everything on my phone tv i'll say everything okay food so what uh what what what flipped the switch for you what um opened your eyes and you thought to yourself oh i don't want this life i want to do something different i was sick of it i was just sick of it dude i i hear me say man how old are you i'm 22 i'm so proud of you thank you because i mean when you're talking about food you're talking about digital communication talking

about alcohol that also means you had to come up with a new set of friends, and you had to wrestle. Dude, you're an absolute gangster. I'm honored to get to talk to you. It's awesome. It's awesome. Thank you. And I love the nature of this question, Blake, because you've got some ideas that have come from your heart, and they're swirling in your head.

And I'm so glad you got John and I together, because you have gotten sick and tired of being sick and tired. And now you're ready to make a contribution. And can I just tell you before we even get into this, that you're going to get so much natural soul level juice from contributing something positive to this world. Do you understand what I'm saying? You'll never have to medicate again if you realize how valuable you are. So let's talk about these ideas. Anytime I talk to somebody, John, who's got multiple ideas, I like to just have you list the top two or three and the order that they pop in your mind, because I think we're going to see a pattern here. So let's go.

What are these ideas? I do have them on paper. Great. If that's okay. It's perfect. Read them to me. They all kind of connect. I knew it. I have a local meal prep company with a supplement company that I want to start. I want to own a gym eventually. I want to influence others online who want to live a healthier life and are looking for it. And I also want to potentially do like a nutrition coach for sports. Okay, great.

Now, let's look at the pattern. You said this yourself, so I want you to share with John and I what you see the connection as being. What's the thread between those three ideas, local meal prep, nutrition, then own a gym, and then also influence people online for exercising, nutrition, and then nutrition for athletes. What's the common thread there? Well, it's positive influence on mental and physical health.

Yeah. So coming at it from a food standpoint, food and exercise and the positive mental health impact, yeah? Yeah. Well, I mean, John, you've actually gone deep and gotten to be really good friends with these dudes, and there is a connection. So what I'm seeing here, Blake, is I'm seeing a ladder that we need to develop for you. So I think you can do all three of these things. You may do them separately. You may do a combination of the three. But I think it's a process for you as you come out of some real tough stuff that we create the right path for you so that you keep walking forward and adding to the skill and the experience necessary to one day get to that point of having your own business. Does that make sense?

Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm stuck at like, where do I start? Yeah. Let me tell you where you start on a lower rung. I don't care where the ladder is. And let me explain what I mean by this. And John, I want you to actually speak into the mental side of this with this advice. My advice for Blake is let's just get in the nutrition space. Yes. Big giant space. I don't care if it's working at GNC for five months. Go get a job at GNC. Go get a job at a local gym. Get a job at a gym.

See how that machine works. I want him in the space doing two things. Getting experience and getting clarity. That's right. Now, what I mean by that, Blake, and I want to turn this over to John for him to add something right here in this moment, and we'll keep coming back to the long-term path. But when I say I want you getting experience, I want you just winning. I want you going in and being a part of solving a problem that you care deeply about, which you've already given it to us.

Nutrition and exercise and its role on our mental and physical health. Boom. I'm there getting experience, being a part of the solve. That's huge for you to get some wins and, oh, by the way, paychecks. That's right. Then you're going to start to develop not just out of the experience. You're going to get some skill set. But more importantly, you're getting clarity on how the industry works,

where I want to be, and it's in a low pressure. Someone's paying me to observe where I ultimately want to end up, John. That's what I'm thinking. And Blake, let me tell you this. How long have you been sober? It's 28 days. All right. Excellent. Excellent. So I often get like, let's say there's a married couple and one of them cheats on the other one and they decide to stay together and they go to counseling a few times and then they want to write a book and go on a speaking tour. What I would tell them every step of the way, don't tell your personal story. Don't go out and try to heal the world until you've got both feet on solid, firm ground.

Ken's advice is right on because you need to get into these industries, learn it while you're still healing because you're not there yet. You're not even 30 days in, brother. You've got a ways to go before you turn the corner. This is going to give you opportunity to practice, practice, practice, practice, practice across the board on yourself and on your job. And, Blake, we're going to help you. Hang on the line. We're going to give you my Get Clear Career Assessment, which is going to give you even more of a focused direction long-term. But take our short-term advice.

Blake, proud of you, number one. Number two, go that direction. That's where you're supposed to be. We believe in you. welcome back america you've joined the conversation about your life specifically your money your relationships your work all three of those are inextricably connected and you need to be winning in all three and we're here to help you do that dr john delaney joins me i'm ken coleman ramsey personalities here for you this hour triple eight eight two five five two two five is the number to jump in triple eight eight two five five two two five let's go to new york city new york the big apple tom is there tom how can we

help what's going on guys thanks for taking my call today. You bet. So my wife and I are just about finishing Baby Step 3. We finished paying off all our student debt and cars, everything except our mortgage, just at the end of last year. Great. And now that we're coming up on the end of baby step three, having saved about six months for an emergency fund, I know the next steps that are in the baby steps are saving 15%, investing that in retirement and paying off our home early. But we're at a point where next year we're looking to kind of start a family. And right now we live in like a one bedroom apartment and we're, we're looking at,

you know, saving up to save up for a home. So I guess my question is what's the best way to kind of save up for a home, but also, you know, still continuing on those baby steps. Yeah, well, the next baby step is what we call baby step 3B. You don't have the child yet, correct? Did I hear you properly? That's right, yeah. So am I hearing in your question a little bit of uncertainty as it relates to how much money should we be saving for the baby before we start saving for the house is that what i'm hearing no it's mostly just for for that house just to have because we would we would need a little bit of more space or um sure when we do

start okay all right so let's just look at real numbers you guys planning to stay in the area that you're living in now? Yeah, pretty much. We live just outside of New York City. Okay. So have you done any research in the marketplace on a house that's a good starter house for you guys? Certainly big enough for you and mama and baby? Yeah.

All right. So what are we talking about? We're looking at the market just to get a feel. What's the price range that we're looking at that's realistic? It's not like the nicest brand new neighborhood because I can tell you john and i'll tell you that doesn't matter we just want a nice safe uh not a uh uh you know a trap of just money going into an old dilapidated house so based on that what are we looking at as a purchase price yeah so i think uh something that would be doable for our range would be kind of something around $500,000, which seems to be on the lower mid-range, but just enough that we would need for us.

All right. So, John, based on what we teach, we're looking at anywhere from 10% to 20% down payment. So there's your number. Yeah. And a common trap, dude, that I fell into, I'm confident Ken did too. This baby, when you bring this baby home, the baby weighs like six to ten pounds. And so we get this idea, like, I got to have another room and a special laundry section, and it's eight pounds it's like a a heavy football and so um both ken's been open about this too both ken and i had very clear pictures we probably you probably like me we went my wife and i went to dinner it's like we're gonna we're

starting the family planning process and And it took my family years. It took Ken's same thing, years. And so what I don't want you to – I'm telling you that to tell you this. I don't want you to get manic about buying a house because you have to have one before you have a kid. Yep. And then you're going to go rush off and buy something stupid that you can't afford because you're going to go in with a budget of five. And then she's going to see something that she likes that's $650. And then you're going to feel like shame that you can't provide and it's a whole domino dude that almost every guy i know goes through and then you end up with a house and then it takes two years

three years four years and now you're in another conversation about having starting a family i'd tell you to relax and get get 10 to 20 down and then you're in a position to kind of buy what you want when you need it. Right. How long do you think it'll- That makes sense. Yeah. How long will it take you to get to that 10 to 20% mark? So we're looking at 100,000 at the most. How long would it take you to save that for 20% on a $500,000 house? Yeah. Yeah. That's a good question. So right now, my wife and I each put 5% into our retirement, right? So if we were to keep that and just continue saving as if we have done for our emergency fund, I think by next September, we'd be able to have that 20% for a $500,000 home. Do it. No brainer. That's it. Do it.

And you've got to listen to what John said. John's right. We're going to go ahead and save for it, but we're not going to feel in a rush to do it. That's right. And hey, I've talked about this on the show too. When my son was one and a half, maybe two, we sold our home and moved into a dorm, a residence hall. It was a one and a half bedroom i mean it's a two-bedroom apartment

and my son was a maniac he was super fun but i'm telling you you don't need to sprint out and go create this vision for this thing do it the right way i want your kid to be born into a stress-free house whether that is 650 square feet or that 6,000 square feet. And the best way to assure y'all have a stress-free home is that y'all are communicating together. Y'all on the same page and you don't have money wars, man. And you can have some peace that this baby comes home to. So good for you for thinking ahead, man, but I'm with you a hundred percent. Save that money, get that down payment, and then get back to investing as soon as you can. John, I don't know if you have ever been back to, I'm assuming you have.

Did you ever go back to one or the childhood home you grew up in? Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember thinking this? This is what I thought. I was like, holy cow, this is teeny tiny. Oh, dude. Yes.

But I remember as a kid thinking, man, my house is huge. It was cavernous. We had so many rooms. I thought it was cavernous. My favorite is going back to, like, if you go back to your elementary school in the lunchroom, it felt like a football stadium. Oh, yeah. And then you go in there now, and it's like you've got to take a knee to get a drink,

and it's about 35 square feet total. Yeah, it's this little bitty thing. And the reason I bring that up is I think it just really accentuates what we're saying here and what you're pointing out, that, you know what, it's one little kid. That kid won't even, to the age of 8, nine, ten, still won't have any kind of idea. I stayed in our first home until we were 12. Yes. And I remember going back years later at 22 going, how did we even get along in here? It looks like we would have sat on top of each other. Yes. And yet as I walked through each room of that house, going back in my recollection i was like i i used to think this

room was the coolest room ever yes this is not a room i have a walk-in closet as big as this now i again it was it was it was made clear to me in a powerful way when my son was three or four my wife got an opportunity to go teach at a school in brazil um to go train some teachers as a part of university project and they paid for me and hank to tag along so we went down there and dude it was this magic i had it all planned out father son two cans were flying around like they were just like blue jays we were picking mangoes off the trees it was this whole thing he has zero recollection yeah none none has no we rode donkeys and nothing he has no recollection of that now i'm none. None. We rode donkeys and nothing.

He has no recollection of that. Now, I'm sure he built some synapses, dads can be trusted, all that. The time was good. He's got no memory of it. And the number of young parents who mortgage their souls because they have this image of,

we've got to have their own bedroom and it's got to be all decorated out, it's got to have all these giraffes painted on the wall by Banksy and all that. You don't need any by you know banksy and all that you don't need any of that stuff not at all right you don't need any of that stuff do it the right way over and this is from a guy who did it the wrong way man who leveraged my family into a massive hole that my kids got to live the stress getting out of that hole right i'll take you back to when stacy and i lived here in this area for the first time and we bought our first house. And I remember it was $195,000. And the stress that it brought me, three bedrooms, it was a nice little house, starter house. The house is $11 million in Nashville right now. Yeah, but we barely made

any money on it three years later when we moved to Atlanta. Here's my point. If I had to do all over it again, I would have probably just rented, and instead of putting the down payment on, I would have invested that, saved it until we got to Atlanta, rent for a while. We made some decisions that I'd do all over again now going, it was the two of us. Absolutely. We should have been in a teeny tiny little matchbox of a house. That's right.

So that's the idea, folks. Don't get this fever for impressing other people or creating a situation where your status feels really good, but it's not doing anything for your lifestyle at all. That's the rub. Be careful of that. I really appreciate the call, Tom, and we're so excited for your future. You're doing this thing the right way. All right, don't move. He's Dr. John Deloney. I'm Ken Coleman, and you're listening to The Ramsey Show. More coming up. All right, folks. Glad to have you with us here on The Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman, joined by John Deloney here for you this hour.

888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. All right, John. You've got to weigh in on this one. Today's question of the day comes from Kyle in the – this always makes me laugh when we say this – the official Ken Coleman community on Facebook. Dude, I don't have a community. Is there an unofficial Ken Coleman community? I'm unaware of this.

Yeah, there's probably seven or eight of them. Yeah. So here is the question. I'm a soon-to-be retired principal, and I'm looking for ideas for work outside of education. After 33 years in education, I would love to have some ideas of what people have done for work after the education career. Well, that's a big, big onion to peel. And if I were talking to you in person, Kyle, I would ask two questions. What did you enjoy most about being a principal or educator? Because presumably you were a teacher and you moved up. So if you look

at your 33 career, 33 year career, I want to know, as you look back, the tasks or the role that you played that you had great enjoyment. I want to write that down because those are clues to the future. And the second thing I would ask is the flip side of that. What part of being an educator or principal, what part of that role, those tasks drained you. So in other words, what lifted you and what drained you? And I want those two separate lists. And here's why I would ask you to do that. In those two answers are the clues to your future. I would also say, John, and I'm curious to know your take on this as an educator, former educator, I don't think that he needs to be looking

necessarily through a different lens. Different area, yes, but I think once an educator, always an educator. Once an instructor, always an instructor. Different environment, different industry, yes, but I'm guessing that his answers to those two questions are going to reveal the type of work that he will do in the future and i think he will always be in some ways an instructor a leader an administrator just different context that's where i'd start looking roles that are similar but different lanes because he's got great experience to offer that's uh thoughts on that yeah it's easy to feel like i've done 33 years in a box and yeah i'm useless outside of this box and so when i read this i was thinking okay i've hired a ton of

people in my career kyle um back when i was working university especially i hired i can't count how many people i hired. The number of people who I would like to have the experience of dealing with angry parents, dealing with nonsensical local politicians, being able to write, you got to be able to write, to be able to deal with crisis and intervention, to be able to deal with you as a principal. Let's say you're an elementary school teacher.

I mean, elementary school principal. You've got 30 to 75 direct reports. All the teachers report to you. That's right. You've got to deal with all kind of drama. I can't think of a person who's more fit to walk into just about any industry you just want to walk into, Kyle. It's you deciding what do I want to do and you going into those conversations knowing I'm not useless just because I'm outside of the box I was in for 33 years. In fact, it's the opposite. I can bring a whole new perspective on customer service, on dealing with crisis, on taking care of people who are hurting, on dealing with institutional drama, which is about

every company on planet earth right now. You can do do anything so really it's going back to ken's questions what do you want to do i do know educators who did not want to talk to a human right like i've done it for 33 years i loved math and i became a math teacher i'm done talking to people awesome it's clear clarity like i know i don't want this but you hit it on the on the nail on the head can most of us who are in education um end up in some sort of teaching role a human relations role human resources role where we're taking honoring and taking care of people because it's very and you just who we are the operating word here is people right so what people work am i good at what people work do i enjoy yes different way of asking the same question i just listed but that's simple then you go okay What people work am I good at? What people work do I enjoy? Different way of asking the same question I just listed. But that's simple.

Then you go, okay, great. And it's about what you want to do because the message is you can do so many different things. John, the experience and skill that anybody gets over 33 years is wildly valuable. Right. So let's start with that narrative. That's the proper mindset. I've got something to offer. Yeah.

Where do I want to offer it? Where do I want to offer it? Yeah. Especially in this job market. Yeah. We follow the heart. Let me tell you this. This was, in fact, I may call your show one day. You can help me unpack this.

That would be great. I remember explicitly, so my dad was a SWAT hostage negotiator. So when someone's going to jump off a building or somebody had a bomb, my dad, they called him and he walked in and he was kind of the all shucks guy. He would sit down and say, talk to people like, Hey, what's going on in your life? Tell me about your kids. And I remember calling him one night when I was finishing a crisis call. I just had to tell a mom that her young kid had passed away. It was a hard night, but I remember leaving and asking and reflecting to myself on my drive home. It's two 30 in the morning, the neighborhood's asleep. I'm driving home and I called my dad the next morning and I said, what do I do when I

realized that the thing I'm best at in the world is giving people really hard news with grace and being there with them in that first moment, that first aftershock moment. And I called him because that's what he was great at. And he said, he gave me a profound, he said, be really grateful you found it. And now become really good at that skill and make sure you've got an environment that allows you to do your job well because that meant you're gonna have to have some good friends you're gonna have to have a counselor you're gonna have to be on the same page with your wife because that what you're good at is really hard so kyle may sit down and go through like here's what i really loved you know i really loved i really loved dealing with drama it took my soul from me but i was really good at it and it fired me up. So that means I'm

going to have to create a world where I'm going to go into another corporation, help them deal with their institutional drama, with their HR issues or people fighting with each other. And I'm going to have to create a world where I can do that in a healthy way. It's a really good point. Let me jump in because I don't think you meant to say it, but it didn't, the hard stuff didn't take his soul away. The hard stuff for you, you're still doing it every day. That's right. Right. It gives me, it gives me're still doing it every day. That's right, right. It gives me –

It depletes you. It depletes me. But now here's the key. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the moment, it does not. No. Exactly. In the moment, it fires you up.

Yes. And John's heart, if we were to think of it like an engine with pistons – It's running and gunning. It's going like this, and it's great. When you're done – Yes. And you leave a show, or you leave a live event. I'm wiped out.

But here's the difference. And your dad's advice was right. You cannot give what you do not have. That's right. So a person who, and I think there's some people that listen to us today that feel burned out. And what happens is, John, if you don't replenish after being depleted, so you've given everything you got. When you were in those crisis situations at 2, 3 in the morning, you're all alarms, everything you got. You get in the car on the way home, and it's like a balloon

that's lost all of its air. That's right. So how do we fill John back up? And so this is the thing. But if we don't figure that part out to go, wait a second, I should feel exhausted. I blame the job and I walk away from something that I love and I'm great at. No, what you got to blame is your process for filling back up. That's right. So now we got to go to your dad's point. He was so on it. Yeah. Your wife, your friends, exercise, nutrition, all the things we're learning, our bodies are

machines. Yeah. You got to take care of them. And we got to support the heart. Because if we go heart, heart, heart all the time, no matter how many times I say, follow your heart, don't miss the other part of the advice. I got to follow my heart, but I cannot give what I do not have. And so if I-

You got to change the tires and you got to change the oil. Yeah. Because I got to go home and give to Stacy and the three kids. I'm also a relational being. I'm not just this occupational dude. And so I think that's the thing that is so important to understand. There's only so much your heart can do if you don't replenish your body. And so-

And vice versa. What would you do? Would you go watch a funny movie? I mean, in all honesty, like those crisis situations in that law enforcement, what would you do to replenish? I was fortunate to have a supervisor who would call me at three o'clock in the morning

and say, walk me through what you just saw. How are you doing? And that was a, get out of your body. You start talking about it. Yeah, grief demands a witness, right? So I just saw some stuff. I'm experiencing it. Occasionally, I went in and woke up my son and hugged him after a hard one.

And that's a real transfer of energy there. I needed to put my hands on my son and say, he's still here, right? And then there was moments the next morning when I went and called the counselor and said, I just need a debrief and just going to vomit and I'm going to leave and we'll high five. So everyone's got a different process, right? I'll tell you what works for me, folks. When I'm giving advice and speaking all day, I've got to go home and read something. I've got to learn something.

If I'm learning something, I now have something I'm excited to maybe pour back out. That's cool. Whatever your thing is, John, that's incredible advice. Hey, don't move. More of your calls coming up. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman, joined by my colleague, John Deloney. We're here for you, taking your questions about your money. We're also taking your questions where John and I tend to focus all of our time in our separate shows on the Ramsey Network,

and that is relationships and your mental health with the good doctor here. And then I don't have a degree, so I got no title. I'm just a guy who was pretty miserable for a while, John, and realized I was longing for more meaning in my work, and I figured it out, and now I tell other people how I got there. Yeah, but you know what you have? I don't have an official Ken Coleman Facebook page, a Facebook group. I don't have one of those.

Yeah, I feel very special. But that's going to help me when I check in at places and I go, Dr. Ken Coleman, we have a mutual friend who loves to drop the title out. You don't do that. We got a mutual friend. I won't say his out. You don't do that. We got a mutual friend. I won't say his name, but he loves to, when he checks in, it's like, dude, nobody cares. So in my life, my mom was Dr. Deloney first, and then my wife was Dr. Deloney second. And so I'm just like this knucklehead at the table.

You just needed to keep up. They're like, ooh, Phil Fancy, idiot. That's fantastic. They got the trash. Exactly. I'm impressed. It's just too much schoolwork for at the table. You just needed to keep up. They're like, ooh, Phil Fancy, idiot. That's fantastic. Take out the trash. Exactly. I'm impressed. It's just too much schoolwork for me, folks. I have ADHD.

I don't do well in school. But hey, anybody wants to give me an honorary doctorate, I'll sign up for that. I'll take it all. Hey, we got a lot of new listeners, John. We see the data. It's very exciting. And I just want to say, if you're new to this show, there's a lot of lingo, a lot of baby steps talk, a lot of stuff that John and I will say on a regular basis. And some of you are going, man, I feel like I just jumped in and it's about 55, 60 miles an hour.

So we have some genius people. It's probably James, our fearless producer. If you go to RamseySolutions.com and click on the Get Started button, we're going to help you figure out the next best step for your journey to get where you want to go. So don't feel overwhelmed. Go to RamseySolutions.com and click on the Get Started button, and that's going to help you. And by the way, welcome. The water's warm here. We're glad you're here. All right. Also... And it's not because somebody peed in it. Yeah. Well, if anybody would, it would be you. That's actually fair.

That's fair. Hey, you know what else is kind of confusing? Not just jumping into a show that's been around for three decades, but also dealing with your taxes. That's why I hire a specialist, John, because I would be in jail. Not because I was dishonest, but because I'm a disaster. But it doesn't matter. The IRS doesn't care. They don't care about your disaster excuse.

They're going to lock you up. And we want you to get your taxes right. And some of you need the help, and some of you can do it with just a little bit of guidance. So we've got a couple of tax tips for you, all right? If you picked up a side hustle or started a business this last year, you've got a new tax to pay. It's called the self-employment tax, and that's tricky. And the most important thing to be able to navigate all the tax nuances is to get organized. Gather receipts, any tax forms for your income as well as all your expenses.

But we have a free tax prep checklist that's going to take all the fear out of this. You can find it at the Ramsey Solutions website. And if this sounds like too much for you, welcome. That's me. This all scares me. My eyes begin to roll around in my head. It's not good, John. And so I go to a Ramsey-trusted pro, one of our endorsed local providers,

who can help you with everything, prepare your taxes, and make sure that you are making the most and also not going to jail. Go to RamseySolutions.com slash TaxPro. Go to RamseySolutions.com slash TaxPro. That's RamseySolutions.com slash TaxPro. That's one bill, John, that I never mind paying. Nope. I don't want to rat Stacey out. She's not listening, so she'll never know.

But she's always like, man, it feels like they're charging us more every year. And I go, babe, who cares? Whatever. Pay that bill. That's peace of mind that I don't have to, you know, bang pots behind jail or whatever. I don't want to do that. Yeah, exactly.

So that's a good, I don't know what that is either. James is like, what is banging pots? I was trying to come up with an image from, what's it, Tim Robbins? We watch different jail movies, I think. Shawshank. Shawshank. Shawshank. Shawshank Redemption. Either way, we need to move on before I get myself into more trouble.

See, just the very thought of doing my taxes fritzes my brain out. I know. And you're watching a guy melt down right here live on the air. Peds are falling off. Yeah, but Austin's waiting, and he's standing by with great patience. Austin in Madison, Wisconsin. Austin, how can we help? Hey, guys. falling off yeah but austin's waiting and he's standing by with great patience austin in madison wisconsin austin how can we help hey guys uh let's be on and talk to you so i'm currently in a situation with work where climbing the ladder is like an impossible thing um it's uh my wife's family's business.

And the reason it concerns me is I started there about four years ago after two overseas, and I make the same amount I did four years ago. They're not great about negotiating pay increases. And then I also want to set an example for my kids to go out and challenge themselves and do something different than what I'm doing. Hey, Austin, let me jump in really quick. It's a two-part question. Number one, what is making it feel impossible?

Is it just the fact that every time you bring this up, it doesn't get addressed or is a hard no? And that's the first question. The second question is, if all of a sudden you sat down with them today, let's say we were able to give you some master tip, and you sat down with them and they gave you the raise, would you be calling us right now? What's the first question? What's the first answer?

Yeah, can you repeat that part? What makes it feel impossible? What evidence do you have in your mind that says what is it what makes it feel impossible what evidence do you have in your mind that says this is impossible to get a promotion this business started 50 years ago and um one of the guys that works there has gotten four paying increases in 50 years um okay that's pretty good so there's been plenty of people in and out the door as uh times go on and persons go out to people ask for a little bit more it's always a hard no okay and so the next question is if for some reason they

begin to give you regular raises and promotions would you still be thinking about leaving uh probably not no i i enjoy the work for the most part okay that's what i wanted to know now here's why i asked that question i think it's time to leave quit but that's what i wanted to know now here's why i asked that question i think it's time to leave quit but i want but i wanted to know did you enjoy the work and the answer is you enjoy the work so in these kind of situations john it can create confusion for us because we've got this we've got a little bit of a wrestling match jane uh austin and the wrestling match is this i really enjoy the work but I don't feel I'm being recognized and rewarded. And so it's a cocktail of confusion.

Enjoy the work, but then you don't feel good about yourself because of the environment you're in. So all that to say, you know what kind of work you enjoy. We're looking for that in Madison, Wisconsin. And Austin, you're in kind of a strange cocktail here where you've been tasked by your wife's family to take care of her, right? Like be a good steward. And also we're going to pay you less than you're worth or less than you're out in the market. So it's this conflicting world. And what I want to tell you is be a good steward

of your family and be a good steward of your work ethic and the things that bring you joy and treat her family with dignity and respect as you leave. And it's time to go. And don't look back for one single second. Not at all. It's a great season. It's fun. Cool. Bye. Absolutely. And Austin, would you rather make yourself and your wife and your family happy or the family members who are your leaders happy which one would you rather make happy i'd definitely rather have my my family happy and the only obstacle that comes with it is my wife is very attached to how hard her father works and how hard it is to replace somebody in these

positions i get it but have you talked to your wife actually i is to replace somebody in these positions. I get it. But have you talked to your wife? Actually, I want to bring John in on this. I want to bring John on this. What's the conversation been between you and your wife on this decision? So it's hard for her to even talk. Like if I come home from a day and it's like, it's so hard to be efficient. I love efficiency.

It's hard to be efficient because the shop's filled with stuff and at the moment i i say that you know there's like a pack rat in there that doesn't allow you to have space to work her head kind of goes down or to the side but that's because that's because she internalizes that business her that business is her mom and dad so when you talk about the business you you're climbing on her mom and dad, which I don't care how long you're married, that's never cool. And so she is asking you to fix a problem that you can't solve. Bingo.

And that's not your job. Your job is to honor her, take care of your family and provide for your family with whatever arrangement y'all have set up. And so I think it's a clear conversation with her. Hey, I'm going to begin looking for work elsewhere or start having quiet conversations elsewhere. And when you land something, then sit down and say, here's the transition I'm going to make. And I hope you'll join me in this. Austin, you got to do it. You know, you got to do it. So let's win your wife's heart on this.

JD, always good to be with you, sir. I want to thank James and the crew behind the glass for keeping us on the air. I want to thank you, America, for listening. This is your show. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Ken. If you love the show and want a deeper dive on your money journey, we have a weekly newsletter that gives you trending and helpful articles

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