The Ramsey Show - App - Self-Control Gives You a Better Quality Life (Hour 3)

Episode Date: December 26, 2018

The show about you

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. You jump in, we'll talk about your life, your money. It is a free call at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Jimmy is with us in Phoenix.

Hi, Jimmy. How are you? I'm okay. Thanks for taking my call, Dave. Sure, man. What's up? So my wife and I, we've taken FPU individually before we met each other. And, um, the biggest stress in my life is, uh, our finances.

And I just don't know the best way to get on the same page. I've talked to her about budgeting. I've talked to her about, um, our monthly expenses that we've done tracking. Um, or the only debt we have is our house. And so I don't think I should feel the financial stress that I'm feeling. And I just didn't know the best way to approach the situation. Okay. So I don't understand what you're stressed about.

Tell me what you're stressed about. I'm stressed each week about money being in the bank to pay the mortgage, pay all of our bills that we have. So you guys are not doing a written budget? Correct. And you don't agree on your spending? I've done expense tracking for three months. Yeah, but you don't agree. You've done it, but she's not involved.

Correct. Well, I talk to her about it each month, but we don't make any changes, and I just don't know the best way to approach it because I've approached it about three different ways on how to do it, and I just didn't know if she had any advice for me on how to get on the same page. How long have you all been married? We got married in 2014. And how long ago did she take Financial Peace University? Probably 2012.

Okay. Well, so here's what we tell people to do, as you know, is we tell people to sit down together before the month begins and spend every dollar on paper to accomplish the goals that we, husband and wife, are both in agreement that we're trying to accomplish. And we lay that out. And if you lay out a written game plan before the month begins, and the both of you agree that that game plan is taking me where I want to go,

it's taking her where she wants to go, then we have a reason to stick to the game plan because it's taking us where we want to go, and we communicate about it, and then we don't spend any money except as we've both agreed because that plan is taking us where we want to go. So what's breaking down in that? What's breaking down in that?

Where is that not happening? It is not happening in the sense of there's all these what-ifs that come up. Like what if it costs this much, or have you thought about this expense and this expense and this expense? It's very reactive, and I've tried to generalize it, to create it. Wait a minute, wait a minute. I don't know. I'm sorry.

So because of the what-ifs, she doesn't want to agree to a plan? Is that what you're saying? Yes. She doesn't think the plan covers everything. Well, then tell her to put together a plan that covers everything. I've done that, and nothing happens to the results. So I'm thinking, and I don't know. I've talked to my small group, and, you know, they said,

why don't you guys take a look into having, it might be time for Dave Ramsey to tell it to you, not you telling it to your wife, but you and your wife receiving a message from presenters in our church. Yeah, I guess. I mean, it sounds like maybe you all need to sit down with a marriage counselor. I don't understand why the two of you can't sit down and both of you write out an agreement and you talk back and forth and compromise until you come up, cooperate until you come up with an agreement that both of you can live with. Probably because there's wants that the other person doesn't think that are needs.

So, but, yeah. Well, it sounds to me like that you're being a super-duper tightwad then, and her reaction is that I'm not going to play. Yeah, probably. Okay. So you need to lighten up and lose a few battles so you can win the war. All right. Lighten up on the clothing budget or lighten up on the eating out budget

or lighten up on something to where you get agreement, and then when you get agreement, now we've got to stick to it. Then you have the right to hold her to that. But you're trying to run this super, super tight budget. But you told me you're debt-free but the house, right? Yes. Yeah, so you need to lighten up. I think you're being super nerd.

Okay. And you've chased her away from the table. She doesn't want to come to the negotiating table. Right. So give me an example of where she had a category that she thought was valid and you said, oh, no, that's crazy. I don't know about crazy, but I just don't see it as an expense every month, but it's a massage, but she doesn't use a massage every month.

Okay, so a massage costs what in this case? About $75 a month. But she doesn't always do one a month? Correct. Okay. And your household income is what? Right now, she's on maternity leave, so it's about $75. Okay.

All right. And it would seem to me that if you have no payments but a house payment, you could probably meet your financial goals if you included a 75 massage in your budget no i agree with you on that there's just you know swim lessons for our under our sun um and uh so that adds to it and it's not that we can't afford it i just don't there isn't a plan you're right about that so lose a few of these category battles to win the war of everybody being on the same page let me tell you what will happen okay if she's not getting a massage regularly she will she's an intelligent person she'll look down and go i don't need to put this

in there but every other month i could put a half of one in a month because I average about one every other month you know she's going to look down and do that but right now it's become a power struggle between her having a life and you having your budget okay and um you got I did this too that's how I can recognize it because I am super nerd, and when I get on something, I can get all the way on it, and you're all the way on this. You're still wanting to tighten this down and really hit some big-time goals. You're still trying to be gazelle intense, but you're past gazelle intense. You're up into baby steps four, five, six,

and that is when you're supposed to lighten up and have a massage. I mean, you can put that in the budget and have swim lessons. You can put that in the budget at that point. So lose a few of those things. Here's the thing. If you see four months in a row she didn't use a massage, you have the right then to bring that up and go, we don't need to put this in here.

You're not going anymore. Now, if you want to do something else with the money, we can move it to something else. But let's have the budget reflect reality. And she will go, okay, cool. I want to get something else with the money, we can move it to something else. But let's have the budget reflect reality. And she will go, okay, cool. I want to get my nails done instead. Okay, cool. Let's just move it over to that.

Let's just call it what it is. Everything needs a name, and we need to be in agreement. So try losing a few of these battles that make you cringe in order to get everybody on the same page. Together as a couple, we have our arms wrapped around the overall thing. And you need somewhere you're going with this. What's your why? Why is it we're controlling money? What is it we want to do when we get some wealth?

Let's start working towards those goals, those dream goals again. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Let me tell you a story about two families that are very much alike in a lot of ways. Both families have two working parents and a couple of young kids. Each has debt and a struggled to make ends meet. But they're starting to make headway with their budgets and smarter decisions with money. They have dreams and plans, and the only real difference is that one family has the right amount of term life insurance, and the other doesn't.

Big difference. If one of the parents die, and that does happen, their well-being would be destroyed. Paying for the mortgage, utilities, food, and other bills would be impossible, let alone saving for education or retirement. That's why every day I talk relentlessly about getting term life insurance. Just go to ZanderInsurance.com or call 800-356-4282 and see how inexpensive it really is. Be the family that takes those deliberate steps to be different and responsible. It really does make you the hero of your story, and it puts you on course for better things

ahead. Thank you for joining us, America. Chris is in Cleveland, Ohio. Hi, Chris. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure, man. What's up?

Well, I was just trying to figure out, we're debt-free other than some rental properties and our personal home. Good for you. Trying to decide which way to pay. What should I focus on first? Well, generally pay the house off if they're equal, but if the rentals are tiny, I might knock them out. What's the balance on the rentals? About $230.

Each? Total. Break them down for me. Okay. But if the rentals are tiny, I might knock them out. What's the balance on the rentals? About $230,000. Each? Total. Break them down for me. Okay. About $35,000 on each two of them, and then around $65,000 on two others, and about $50,000 on the fifth one. And the other two that we have are free and clear. Okay.

And your household income is what? About 250. Okay. Awesome. Good. Great income. That's amazing. What do you do for a living?

I'm a real estate agent. Oh, good. And your balance on your home? About 190. Okay. All right. Good. Well, here's the analysis, and then you can decide, okay?

I look at things because I went broke in the real estate business. I love real estate, by the way. I've got a bunch of it, and I'm a big believer in real estate. But I went broke because I was stupid and borrowed too much money and a bunch of 90-day notes back in the 80s when I was in my 20s, okay? And so I've gone through losing stuff because of debt. You follow me? I don't think that's what you're facing. But still, I have to give you the background because that causes my decision-making process to be different than some folks. So I always ask myself, if things go really sideways, if the world turns on its nose,

and I lose something, which one do I want to lose? Well, I'd want to lose my house last. Right. I'd want to lose the investment properties before I lost my home. And so generally speaking, I go pay off the house first using that risk analysis, if you will. You follow me? But you've got a big, you know, 190 mortgage. You've got a great income.

And 230 clears up either all your rentals or it clears up your mortgage, whichever. So if you said, we're going to pay $100,000 a year for two years, and either all the rentals are gone or the mortgage is gone, then you just ask yourself, which one do I want to do first? Because the next two years, you're going to do the other one. Right. So I don't know if this factors into the decision-making, but the rental properties, the debt on them is right around 50% of the value. Yeah, it doesn't.

The only thing it does is it just ensures you could get out of them if you had trouble. And, you know, I'm sure your loan-to-value on your house is small, though, too, isn't it? What's the house worth? Like $400. Yeah, so 50% there, too. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, so here's the thing.

$100,000 a year for four years, they're all done. Which one do you want to do first? Gotcha. Now, let me ask you one other question real quick, because I have another situation that might make this a different, not a different decision, but just a faster one. Okay. We had a lot of land that we sold to somebody, and we held a note on it, and that's about $130,000. It was due a long time ago, but they negotiated with us, they're paying us about 15% of the money interest only. Yeah. So I could just call that in and I

would have, you know, obviously be able to probably do both in a very short period of time. But I look at that and I go, but I'm making 15, 16% of my money. Is that a wise decision to do that? Okay. Yeah, but if you call it, you may get the property. I don't think so. They built like a $600,000 house on the property. You think they'd go find the money?

I'm certain they would. I'm certain they could get it. That's weird, though. Why would they not? I've already done done that if they're paying 15 freaking percent? These are not bright humans. Fair question. He's a builder, and I think he uses the money to do other things with his business, and I don't pretend to understand why I would never do it.

Okay, so the way I ask some of the questions like you're asking me, I try to reverse them and say if it was reversed. Okay, if I had $100,000, $130,000 laying on my kitchen table, would I use it to pay down my mortgage on my home and then turn around and knock it out in about six months or a year or less than a year, right? Or would I buy a note that I could make a 15% yield on? Yeah.

Given that way, that lets you know that from a balance sheet perspective, it's as if you borrowed on your home to own this note. Right. So I'm probably calling the note okay plus this note just is weird it is it is it's always in the back of my mind like why are they doing that yeah and why and when am i going to end up owning this and how's this going to go sideways and how am i how many years am i going to spend in trying to get this out of a chapter 11 when this guy goes belly up and right you know so forth yeah i think i'm going to go ahead and let him know i mean within reason i'm going to

try to take the guy's house or cause him undue hardship but you know let's say 60 90 days or something give him time to go search some reasonable money out and take you take care of you and then in that case i that would that would propel me to put the house at the front i would my personal home. I'm going to go ahead and get your personal home knocked out. And then let me just tell you what's going to happen, too, though. Dude, you're making so much money already. You're killing it, Chris.

You are on fire. What's going to happen is you're going to end up making more money. And here's why. Something happens for those of us that are in sales that own our own businesses. Something happens when we have no debt anywhere. There's a sense of the ground is solid under your feet, and you are able to make different moves in your business emotionally that you never thought you would move or do before.

I find business people and straight commission salespeople like you make more money after they've gotten these debt cleaned up than they ever made in their life. And I predict that that's coming for you. So, hey, thank you for the call. We appreciate you joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. We're so glad you're with us, America. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. We're so glad you're with us, America. Thank you for joining us.

Robin is in Houston. Hey, Robin, how are you? Good, Dave. How are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up? Thanks for taking my call, by the way. Okay, I just really need some clarification or more information on the four categories of mutual funds.

And then I guess you can just ask me questions if you need to, but we're just getting started in retirement, and it just seems like it's not as – I just need clarification on kind of what those are. Okay, growth and income, aggressive growth, and international. Right. So let's walk through them. The least volatile of the four, the calmest of the four, is the growth and income fund. Okay. That is sometimes called a blue chip fund or a large cap fund.

Cap stands for capitalization. And the reason is that the stocks, the companies that are purchased inside of a growth and income fund are large companies, big companies like Alcoa, General Motors, big companies. And they're boring. They're boring.

They don't shoot way up and they don't shoot way down. And so it's the calm one the growth fund is the mid cap very similar to an s&p fund as well the growth stock mutual fund is this what you're looking for yes and it's i need to know what to tell brokers like they seem to be confused they shouldn't be confused if you have a broker that doesn't know what a growth and income fund is, you don't have a broker. Well, confused on when I tell them, I don't want to deviate from this plan.

You know, I say your name and they, you know, I don't want to deviate from this 25% in each one of these categories and help me get that. Why does that confuse them? One of them said there's no such thing as aggressive growth, that that is a growth fund. You need a new broker. There's tons of aggressive growth stock mutual funds. Tons of them.

This guy's an idiot. So, now, listen, if you want somebody to do the way we do it, just go to SmartVestor. Click SmartVestor at DaveRamsey.com. It'll drop down a list of the SmartVestor pros that we recommend, brokers that we recommend in your area, and they all know how to do this. Believe me, this is the Dave Ramsey Show. Can you believe this real estate market? Home shopping has become so competitive. There's a ton of new buyers in the market, and bidding wars are the new normal.

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win the bidding war without having to bust their budget. Call 888-LOAN-200 or visit churchillmortgage.com. This is a paid advertisement. NMLS ID 1591. NMLSconsumeraccess.org. Equal housing lender. 761 Old Hickory Boulevard, Brentwood, Tennessee 37027. Houston, Texas is calling.

Matt and Tina are on the line. Hey, guys, how are you? Hey. Welcome, welcome. I see on my screen that you guys are debt-free. Congratulations. Thank you, thank you. Well done. And how much have you paid off? It is $139,335. Very good. How long did that take?

Roughly about six years. Way to go. And good. How long did that take? Roughly about six years. Way to go. And your range of income during that time? So we started, we were about 72, and now we're looking around 120. Good for you guys. Well done. Very well done. So what kind of debt was the $139,000?

Well, we had about 10K and a couple of credit cards, but then everything else was student loans. Ah, okay. So tell me the story. What started this journey six years ago? Well, six years ago, we got a, well, actually it was a little more like seven years ago, because we got a book from our Sunday school class. We won it in a contest, and we took one look at that book, and we said, this guy's going to tell us not to buy a house, so let's put that on the shelf.

And then we bought a house, and then, you know, with all these loans coming due and, you know, the new mortgage and a baby on the way, it was kind of like, well, maybe we should take another look at that. And so we wound up picking it up. I think I read it in one or two days. I mean, I just tore through it, and I was like, oh, we need to do this. Okay. And so, Tina, he comes in.

He's read the total money makeover, it sounds like. And he's telling you, we've got to do all this stuff. What did you say? At first, I was really scared because he just kind of threw it at me like we're going to budget extremely. And he brought up, you know, using envelopes. But then only he would have the envelopes, and that didn't work. So, at first, I was very hesitant. Oh, this didn't sound like a plan.

Yeah. Cool. I think I went a little into freak-out nerd mode. I made a really complicated spreadsheet. I had formulas and dependencies and all sorts of weird things going on that I'm the only one that could ever understand it. I love it. I love it. So at what point did you guys get on the same page?

When we downloaded the EveryDollar app. Oh. Because it's something that synced to both of our phones. It's something that I could visually see. And if I wanted something that month and said, hey, can we put a little bit more towards this than that, you know. Gave you a vote. Made that decision together. Gave you a vote in the process. you know, made that decision together.

Gave you a vote in the process. Yeah. Yeah, that's important. Really scratched that nerdage, too, because I can, like, really, really pour into details and things like that and being able to go in there and just kind of look at, hey, what did we do last year when we budgeted for the kid's birthday and all that? Very cool. Good, good.

Well, congratulations, you guys. What do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? Budgeting. Yeah, that's kind of the key to doing that. You want to take control of your biggest wealth building tool, which is the income, like you say. And it really helps you to get control of your life. I mean, at the same time, another thing that we really started getting control of,

when we started getting control of our money, we started getting control of our health, too. And throughout this process, we've both been kind of dieting and exercising. And between the two of us, we've actually lost 200 pounds. Whoa! They just flashed the pictures up on the YouTube screen. Oh, my goodness. That's amazing. You look like different people.

We lost 100 pounds, and we hit our 100-pound mark together on the same day. Wow, you look like different people. Yeah. The before and after is amazing. Yep. I figured we're close to being debt-free um i actually really want to be able to do vacations and do adventurous things and stuff as a family and enjoy that and into that we both need to be healthy and you know fit so

congratulations wow 139,200 pounds. Yep, sounds about right. Dadgum impressive. That's amazing. Way to go, you two. Very well done. Very well done. Well, it's amazing. Self-control is self-control.

And learning to set a goal for a bigger need, for a bigger, something that's more noble than the moment, allows you to live a better quality life, doesn't it? Yeah, yes, it does. Very cool. Yeah, I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said, Nothing't it? Yeah, yes, it does. Very cool. Yeah, I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said, nothing tastes as good as it feels to be thin. That's what it amounts to. I'm going to live like no one else, so later I can live and give like no one else.

Congratulations. We've got a copy of Chris Hogan's number one bestselling book for you, Retire Inspired, because we want the next chapter in your story to be millionaire status, and you will be, and outrageously generous as you go along, okay? All right. Sounds great. Thank you. Matt and Tina, Houston, Texas, $139,000 paid off and 200 pounds in six years, making 72

to 120. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. One, two, three. We're debt-free! That's how it's done. Amazing. Very, very well done.

Very well done. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Lisa is in Tampa. Hi, Lisa. How are you? I'm good, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve.

What's up in your world? Well, my husband and I are ready to get aggressive about paying off our debts, and we are faced with the option of bankruptcy and just wanted to make sure we make the right decision. Quick rundown, my husband had a business. It was an S-corp, took out some loans for a project. That project fell through. We were stuck with the loans and no income coming in.

So the total business debt is at $150,000. And then we also took out about $70,000 of personal debt, which was also used to cover business expenses and cost of living during that time also. Who is the money owed to? There's an SBA loan, a line of credit, and then several smaller lenders and uh how much is the sba loan a hundred thousand okay and how much is the line of credit twenty thousand okay do both of

those have liens on your home um currently i don't believe so no i do and just to point out okay and i just wanted to point out that we are currently working with an attorney to um to try to settle those right um well sba loans typically take a second on your home it'd be on you or some kind of collateral they don't have a lien against anything they don't make make $100,000 unsecured loans. Well, when we took out the loan, we did not have a home at the time. Okay. All right. And the other $70,000 is owed against what?

Several different credit cards. Okay. And what's your household income? Currently it's about $180,000. Okay. Yeah, I think you're doing the right thing to try to negotiate your way through some of these unsecured debts rather than bankrupt them with your income. Because with your income, you are not going to bankrupt these straight on a Chapter 7.

They're going to put you in a Chapter 13, which is a repayment plan. And if you're going to work a repayment plan, you might as well work it without bankruptcy. Okay. You can settle these debts, a lot of them. Are you behind on anything? Yes, currently on the business loans, but not on the personal loans. Okay. All right.

Well, I would want to know, and I assume your attorney that's negotiating on your behalf or helping you with this does know, but if I'm you, I want to know, if these guys have any collateral on this line of credit or on this SBA loan, if it's all unsecured debt, definitely you can make some cash offers and probably settle some of this on a failed business, even if it's got an SBA backing on it. The SBA backing makes it harder to settle because small business is backing the loan. SBA is backing the loan with the bank. So that's going to make it more complicated, but it can still be done. The good news is you've got a fabulous income. The bad news is that

fabulous income keeps you from being bankruptcy worthy. And they're going to use that income in bankruptcy to make you repay anyway. So you might as well work it as an out-of-court settlement. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Our scripture of the day, Isaiah 41.10 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart, I have overcome the world. Marie Curie said, I was taught that the way of progress was neither swift nor easy. Nola is with us in Canada.

Hi, Nola. How are you? I'm very well. Thanks for taking my call, sir. Sure. How can I help? So in the summer, I bought a, well, I traded in my vehicle and I got a new one. And then a huge fire happened and we ended up getting, everybody in town got like a deferral.

So I didn't end up having to make any payments on it until recently. And I then just found out about you and I started watching your programs and trying to follow the baby steps. And so I'm wondering, do I try to get rid of the car, sell it, and then for i don't know under 10 grand cash and know that i have no debt or do i maybe double up on my payments and just try to pay it off as soon as possible and then be debt free because this is the only debt that i have that's good news how much do you owe on the car? $19,000. Say it again. $19,000. $19,000. And what is your household income? Well, with me and my boyfriend, it is $180,000.

Okay. Unless the laws are different than they are in the United States, a boyfriend is not a household. It's a roommate. So what do you make? About $70,000, depending on overtime. Okay. Well, $19,000 is not out of control for $70, depending on overtime. Okay. Well, $19 is not out of control for $70 if you pay it off very, very quickly. I would want you to pay it off, not necessarily doubling the payments.

I'd want you to pay it at the range of about $1,500 to $2,000 a month. Okay. So that it's paid off very, very, very quickly. Here's the thing. Okay. Number one, we don't want to finance things that go down in value. Number two, the largest thing we all buy that goes down in value is a car. And when you finance cars, it pretty much ensures you're going to stay middle class or below the rest of your life

because the math just kicks your butt. Because when you turn a $ thousand dollar car into a fifteen thousand dollar car every 36 or 48 months and you pay payments for the privilege that's pretty much why you're it's hard to get ahead financially so wealthy people are people that the first million when people make the first time they get to a million to a two million dollar net worth right in that range the vast majority of the people under five million dollar net worth in the one million to five million range drive a two-year-old or older car and they pay cash for it because they've they understand that that that car is going down in value like a rock

kelly blue book says the typical car will lose 60 to 70 percent of its value in four years and so again you turn 30 000 bucks into about 11 000 in four years. And so, again, you turn $30,000 into about $11,000 in four years and then scratch your head and wonder why you're broke. So you can't do that. But in your case, you can get this car paid off really, really fast. I probably would not have purchased it, but if you like it and you're willing to roll up your sleeves and live on nothing and not go out to eat and really pound this in the face

and get rid of the debt fast, like I'm talking $1, month then i might keep it i do have a lot saved so i don't know if i should just take that because i was wanting to save up for a house but with your teachings i'm like maybe it's stupid that i'm keeping all this cash and making payments oh how much do you have in savings well in my rsp i can touch only for buying no i wouldn't i wouldn't touch her i'm not touching retirement i'm not talking about that how much do you have in savings? Well, in my RFP, I can touch only for buying a house. No, I wouldn't touch your... I'm not touching retirement. I'm not talking about that. How much do you have not counting retirement? In my own personal savings, I'll have about $18,000.

That's enough to pay the car off. Yeah, let's just pay it off. Okay. Or sell it, one of the two. If you're unwilling to pay it off, that says your emotions don't value the car as much as you value the money true and by keeping it another day you bought it again every day every day you keep anything it's like you bought it again

for its value and there's nothing wrong with that i mean i'm sitting here with a pen and i'll keep it because tomorrow i would have to go buy another one if i didn't keep this one so it's fine you know i bought it again. But if I could have sold it for more, I mean, I might. So you just got to look at that. I'm probably just going to pay this off and then rebuild your savings as soon as you possibly can, as aggressively as I was talking about, $1,500 to $2,000 a month. So we're only talking about 10 months, and the money's back.

That's true. And then you go buy your house with a paid-for car, nice car, nice house, nice life, no debt, build up an emergency fund. You're right on track then. Jessica is with us also in Canada. This is the Canadian segment. Hey, Jessica, what's up? Hi, Dave. How are you?

Better than I deserve. How can I help? I just wanted to know what you think about my situation. My parents are in financial trouble, but I've only just started my baby step one, and I was planning to be debt-free in seven months. And I'm just wondering if you think I should help out my parents first or if I should continue on my baby steps. How old are you?

I'm 25. And what is the nature of their financial trouble? My mom has to go on sick leave. She's not able to work for the moment. So they're only relying on my dad's income. And they never ask me for money. She makes like $50,000. What does he make? He makes $50,000. Now, what does he make?

He makes $40,000. Okay. And they can't pay their bills on that? Not without her income. Okay. What will they have to sell? I think they have a car on lease, but they never talk about their financial situation. And what do you make?

I make $17,000 an hour. Okay. Well, honey, you're very, very sweet to want to help, but you don't have any money. Yes. You don't have any money, and you don't have any room in this budget. If you told me you make $300,000 a year or something and you wanted to throw a couple thousand their way or something we could talk about it but you don't make enough

to do anything but just make some progress on your situation and i'm not saying that to talk down to you in any way i just want to set you free your your sweet sweet heart i want it to be free from any guilt that you somehow are obligated to take care of your parents who have not done a very good job of taking care of themselves. They need to sell their lease car and get their budget under control, and Dad's going to pick up an extra job, and they're going to make their way right through. What are they, 50? Yes, they're almost 50.

Yeah, time to get with it then. I live at home, and they never ask me for rent, and I was wondering if, like, maybe if I can... If you want to pay some rent, that's fine. It's going to slow down your stuff, and again, you're only doing that because you're feeling responsible for a 50-year-old couple who haven't done a good job. And I'm happy to help them. I'm not mad at them, but I just have no desire for their 25-year-old daughter to pick up. It makes $17 an hour to pick up the thing and fix this for them.

I just don't want you to have that burden. I don't want you to have that weight. Like somehow this is your responsibility. You're a very sweet person, Jessica. You're very sweet. But I don't want you to carry around that condemnation or that guilt or that push to do that. I want to release you from that. Anything you do should just be a small amount, and it would be a gesture at the most.

They have bigger fish to fry than you can help with. Let's pretend they were $10 million in debt. What would you do? It would be useless. They might as well be. That's what the math is. They might as well be. Open phones this hour at 888-825-5225.

Brandon, I've got just a minute. Ask your question really quick. Yes, how you doing, Mr. Ramsey? Thank you for letting me get to know what y'all do. My question is, me and my wife are separated right now, and with the hope of us possibly renewing the marriage and stuff like that, we were on the baby steps, did the baby steps for a while. She's been in a different house.

I'm in a different house. I do have the children. We haven't went through any kind of divorce or any kind of mediation or anything like that. But my question is, how do I stay on the steps at the same time, or what step would I be on? If you're working in Baby Step 2, you can do one of two things. One is you can just pile up cash until you see how this marriage situation goes. The sad thing is a divorce turns a marriage into a business transaction. Right.

And if it goes that way, then you're going to only want to have paid on the debts that are in your name. The ones that are in her name are likely going to be hers in the divorce settlement. So do you have debts that are only in your name. The ones that are in her name are likely going to be hers in the divorce settlement. So do you have debts that are only in her name? She has like a student loan like that. I would not pay on her student loan until we get this solved. I'm sorry? I would not pay on her student loan until we get some of this solved. That's an example.

If she has a credit card in her name, I would not pay on her credit card until we get this solved. Anything that's in your name, you've got to pay it either way. You might as well be paying on that. But before I paid any extra or anything else we would do, we can pile up the cash until the marriage is healed. And when it's healed and we're back together, hopefully that's the result and you can pour into it. That's the Dave Ramsey Show. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Hey, guys, it's Blake Thompson, senior executive producer of the Dave Ramsey Show.

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