The Ramsey Show - App - Sell Home to Pay Off Daughter’s Student Loan? (Hour 2)

Episode Date: November 19, 2019

Business, Debt, Insurance Tools to get you started:  Debt Calculator: http://bit.ly/2QIoSPV Insurance Coverage Checkup: http://bit.ly/2BrqEuo Complete Guide to Budgeting: http://bit.ly/2QEyonc Interview Guide: http://bit.ly/2BuGnZE Check out other podcasts in the Ramsey Network: http://bit.ly/2JgzaQR 

🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us.

Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. George starts us off this hour in Arizona. Hey, George, how are you? I'm doing well. Thank you, Dave. Thank you for taking my call and thank you for everything you do. Because of that, I've been debt-free for two years now. Good for you. My question, thank you. I have a small HVAC business here and my view on money and credit cards has totally changed since listening to you. So I do not have any credit cards and I run my business completely debt-free. when I talk to some friends or family about

spending in my business, when I buy parts and materials, I immediately pay it with a debit card. And people think I'm crazy for not using a credit card to earn the dollar points or cash back rewards for it. My question is, what's a good response to tell them why I don't care to even have a credit card to earn those points that I could be getting? Well, to start with, you need to understand that there's not a response that's going to make them be okay. And so you've just got to understand you're going to do what you're going to do. And there's always going to be some people that are not okay. You know, those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still, my grandmother used to say.

And so you just really can't talk someone into not being stupid. They can decide to investigate and understand something, but the chances of them saying, well, you're an idiot for not getting all your miles, and you having a response that changes that is probably not there. Now, if you have a question in your mind then we can address that but um you know the bottom line is is that heating and air companies that run a bunch of debt and misbehave with the handling of their expenses fail at a much higher rate than people who run no debt

and who are very careful with their expenses that's the real answer and there's not ever been a millionaire ever that i met with that says you know i made all my money on those airline miles that was my breakthrough financially but almost all the millionaires that when we did the largest survey of millionaires ever done over over 10,000 North American millionaires surveyed, almost all of them in the 80 percentile range said they don't use consumer debt, and the biggest mistake they ever made in their life was back when they were younger and did, and that they correlate becoming wealthy with avoiding debt. None of them said, oh, man, I'm really glad I ran all my expenses through a credit card so I could get airline miles because it changed my life.

None of them said that. Yeah, it doesn't make much sense to me. I mean, being debt-free for two years, it's the most exhilarating feeling. I mean, it's just... And so, you know, the rule of thumb is if broke people are making fun of your financial plan, you're right on track. It's like fat people making fun of your diet, you know? Yeah, it's not the broke people. It's just people that have money.

But still, they ask me and they think I'm crazy, which... That's fine. I've crazy, which I'm not. That's fine. I've been crazy for a long time. It's working for me. Great. All right. Thanks, Dave.

That's all I needed. Hey, man. Appreciate the call. You're just not going to get people to behave or to understand all the time. It's just not going to happen. So there you go. Open phones at 888-825-5225 hilda is with us in new york hi hilda welcome to the dave ramsey show hi dave uh i just want to start off by saying

thank you so much for everything that you do and teach well thank you how can i help this year i just want out of gratitude i started coordinating FPU this year for the first time. Well, thank you. It's been an amazing experience. Thank you. Yeah, thank you. So my question for you is, I'm 56. I am a single mom.

My daughter's now 34. I'm late to the retirement saving game. But I'm out there swinging. I'm on step six, about $40,000 left to go to pay off my mortgage, and I earn about $100,000 a year pre-tax, pre-business expenses. My question for you that I really wanted to pass by you is, I do feel partially, my daughter just graduated with a master's degree. At 34?

At 34. She worked for quite a few years before she went to undergrad. Okay. Yeah. So she's a grown woman that made a decision to go get a master's degree in what in art okay and what is she going to do oh she's out there swinging to uh utilize that degree and earn her living no doubt what's she gonna do well she is on the track to be a gallery artist she's working with galleries she's um selling her artwork that was the goal okay good um and the masters helped her do that

oh yeah because of where she got it i mean um she got it from yale The networking is quite a bit. It's important. Okay. I think particularly for that track. Okay. When she went to undergrad, I remember distinctly her turning to me, because I have always hated debt personally, though I have not. I've been terrible at saving money.

I've never. I don't have debt. I hate it. But she did turn to me and say, what do I do? I can't, I'm going to have to take out loans to pay this. And this was when she went into undergrad. And I remember distinctly saying to her, I guess you take out loans. It's what everybody seems to be doing. We'll figure it out later. So I do feel now tremendous partial responsibility for the debt level that she has why partial so she was a grown woman she decided what she was going to do

oh she is she's a grown woman now she called you up and said well she was a grown woman when she did her undergrad you said i suppose but you know the truth is dave here's how I look at it is I'm a grown woman at 56 certainly and I am just getting a handle on this and it's because of your program you know so I kind of feel like that's different than you being held responsible for her decisions oh she's not holding nobody's holding me responsible good me and that's and that's oh yeah no she has not asked me for anything. She doesn't even know I'm thinking about this. So how much student loan debt did she run up to get her master's in art at Yale? Well, it's about $80,000.

Good Lord. Oh, that's undergrad and grad. Good Lord. But here's the question I wanted to ask you, and just see if you think I'm crazy or if you think it's a good idea but um so my net worth is not very high uh at this point but uh and most of it's in my house uh my thinking is okay we ran out of time so you'll have to hold through the break we'll come back and get your question I'm sorry this is the Dave Ramsey Show. Are high health care costs getting you down?

Are you confused trying to navigate your options? Do you wish you could find an affordable affordable biblical solution to your health care costs? Based on New Testament principles, Christian Health Care Ministries, or CHM, helps Christian families, churches, and ministries join together

as the body of Christ to share their major health care costs. Christian Health Care Ministries is the original health cost-sharing ministry. A Better Business Bureau accredited organization, CHM members share to pay each other's medical bills. It's not insurance. It's Christians

financially and spiritually supporting each other. It's what Christian Healthcare Ministries has done for over 35 years, and our members have shared over $2.5 billion in medical bills. To learn more, visit chministries.org. That's chministries.org. Christian Healthcare Ministries is a proud sponsor of Dave Ramsey Live Events. chministries.org. Thanks for joining us, America. We're glad you are with us. We say it all the time, but it's worth repeating. Seventy-eight percent of families are living paycheck to paycheck.

Think of 10 of your closest friends, and that means 8 of them are underwater. Maybe more. They might be even struggling to put food on the table, but at least they're living paycheck to paycheck. A lot of them feel trapped and hopeless, and they put up an Instagram life that is not real. Most people are hurting, and it doesn't have to be this way. If you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, there's hope. You can learn to manage money, and you can take control. And it could start for you at Financial Peace Live.

At this brand-new event, we're going to give you the momentum and the plan that you need to kick-start your goals. It's the Baby Steps on Steroids. It's Chris Hogan and me. Tomorrow night, Wednesday, November the 20th, we're going to be broadcasting from Charleston, South Carolina. We've got about 3,000 folks scheduled to be with us there at a sold-out event. And we're going to live stream that event. Live stream passes are on sale now and can be purchased at DaveRamsey.com slash events.

Or you can search our site and find one of the local areas that is carrying the live stream, and you can attend there free. If you just want to watch it in your home, you can pay the $9 or the $19 or whatever it is. You can watch it for free. Or you can attend in person. Well, you really can't. Attending in person is sold out. But there you go.

So check it all out. It is tomorrow night. Chris Hogan and I are going to be doing a live stream of our Financial Peace live event. We're going to laugh together, cry together. I'm going to walk you right up the baby steps and if you've had someone you've been trying to get on board a friend a spouse a parent a kid plant them in front of a screen somewhere and somehow get this information to them tomorrow night again it's um free if you go to one of the locations that is holding it all over there's 2 000 locations holding it free all over america or if you want to just of the locations that is holding it all over. There's 2,000 locations holding it free all over America.

Or if you want to just sit at home and watch it from your recliner, you can do that. And just do that again at DaveRamsey.com slash events. It is being live streamed. No, it will not be replayed. It's a live stream. That's where the name comes from.ilda is with us hilda is in new york and we are talking about uh your daughter who got a master's degree in art from yale is eighty thousand dollars in debt at the time that she took out the loans you all had a discussion

and you're feeling worried for her and kind of heading towards a question where you want to help you're not responsible you're absolutely not responsible here's my question dave i if i what do you think if i sell my current house and try and create a win-win situation at the end of which i would definitely have a much smaller house but my goal would be to be mortgage free and release about 40 000 in equity that I would put down on her loan. I don't think you're wealthy enough to do that. Yeah. You're 56. You have no retirement. About $100,000 in retirement.

You need to be building retirement, and you need to have a paid-for home when you come into retirement. If you had $10 million or $1 million and you wanted to pull $80,000 out and pay off your loans just as a gift, not as an obligation or a responsibility, which I don't think either are here, but if you just wanted to do that as a gift, it'd be fine, but you don't have the margin. This is going to affect your retirement dramatically. My thinking was, again, with the goal that at the end of that I would be mortgage-free in a smaller house, and then I could just keep swinging away at putting money away at retirement.

So what is your current home worth? $230,000. And you owe how much? $40,000. Okay, so you got a $210,000 equity, or I'm sorry, a $190,000 equity, not counting expenses, and you would buy a home that's how expensive? Well, my goal, if I can make it happen, which is very difficult in our area, would be to buy one for like $130. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. There's only one reason you're doing this, is you want to help your daughter. Yeah. That's the only reason you're doing this. Yes. And that's very, very sweet. I wouldn't do it.

Okay. I don't think you're being financially responsible. If her Yale connections are so valuable and her master's degree in art is so valuable, she'll make the money to repay this loan. Okay. You claim it's worth that. I have my doubts, but you think it's worth that. And if you're right, then she should make the money to repay this loan. She's a 34-year-old woman.

Is she married? She is engaged. Great. And what is his income? About $70,000 a year. And what has she been making in the art world? What's her best year of income? Yeah.

Well, she just graduated in May, so I don't have a yearly figure. So does she have a job, or is she just painting and trying to get her foot in the door? She's been selling artwork. Oh, how much? But I don't have per piece. I mean, how much money has she made since May when she's been selling artwork oh how much um but i don't have uh per piece i mean how much money has she made since may when she's selling artwork oh since may i i don't know okay i don't know i'm sorry yeah i mean do you think she made ten thousand or a hundred thousand uh no i would say ten to twenty okay maybe okay so it sounds like if she duplicates that and it grows,

that she could make $40,000 or $50,000 a year in the coming years, and her husband makes $70,000, they make $120,000, they can pay off an $80,000 student loan. Okay. I appreciate that you're worried about your daughter, but don't let that suck you into a tunnel, a vortex, that causes you to do such damage to yourself that I'm talking to you when you're 80 and you don't have the money for food

because you start making these moves out of this perceived guilt that you have, this perceived responsibility that you have that, frankly, is not accurate. She made her decision to do this. You didn't. And you didn't tell her she had to. You didn't tell her you'd pay for it. You didn't tell her any of that. And so I don't think she's in a situation where she can't eat.

She's going to have to buckle down and go through Financial Peace University and get these loans paid off. And she's going to have to utilize the degree and the knowledge that she got in the art world to make a good living to pay off this money and prove that her theory and your theory that Yale contacts make it worth it. So far they haven't. So far she's made $10,000. And you don't pay $80,000 to make $10,000.

Those aren't contacts that are worth it, but maybe they do evolve into something. I sure hope so. That's my goal for her and my wish for her and your wish for her. Thanks for the call. Christy is with us in Florida. Hey, Christy, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure.

What's up? I have a question. My husband and I recently got married. Good. And we are trying to move our money together. However, we both don't have like good kind of like a lesson of money and stuff like that, like a good growing up. So we kind of just wanted to figure out, like, should we put our money together now

or should we kind of just go through your plan a little bit more and then move it? So we're just kind of asking about that. One of you doesn't trust the other one? No, not that at all. I just feel like we both don't have, like, I mean, our parents didn't handle money together. His parents didn't handle money well. And none of them have any money. Yeah. I mean, our parents didn't handle money together. His parents didn't handle money well. And none of them have any money.

Yeah. So there's a high correlation between couples that win financially and that handle the money together. There's very few of the millionaires that we interview that handled their money separately. And so there's your data uh what i would suggest you do is the two of you go through financial peace university together and learn to handle your money starting now ready set go i'll pay for it hold on and we'll give it to you as a gift merry christmas madison will pick up and get you guys signed up this is the dave ramsey show This is The Dave Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage, Sean and Sidney are with us. Hey, guys, how are you? Better than we deserve.

I love it. Congratulations. And where do you guys live? Boise, Idaho. Well, welcome to Nashville from Boise. Good to have you. Awesome. And how much debt have you guys paid off? Just over $758,000. Good to have you. Awesome. And how much debt have you guys paid

off? Just over $758,000. Good Lord. Okay. Wow. And how long did this take you? It took us three days shy of six years. Six years. Very good. And your range of income during that six years? We were lucky to have a pretty big shovel and consistently made over $225,000 throughout the process. Okay. All right. Cool. Very good. And what was the debt? The $758,000? $27,000 was a car.

About $208,000 was a rental property. And then we had a first and second mortgage on our house for the remaining part. Paid off your house? We did. I'm looking at weird people. Absolutely. Way to go, you guys. Awesomeness.

Very cool. So what's the house worth the house is worth about 925 to 950 000 whoa way to go excellent job neat and in boise that's a big house yes we're pretty lucky yeah that's neat congratulations very very fun so what do you guys do for a living i work in medical device uh sales and i work for an orthopedic distributor great well there's some great incomes yeah way to go guys very fun so what puts you how long you've been married uh eight and a half years okay so a couple years into marriage you look up and say we're making bank and uh we ought to get out of debt tell me the story it actually started about eight years ago my parents who are here with us, paid for us to go through SPU.

But at the time, Sean was traveling a bunch, so he didn't go to the class with me, and it didn't stick. Of course. So a couple of years after that, we were on the verge of a financial cliff, as we call it. We had all of this debt, and then we were looking into purchasing a vacation home in Sun Valley and fleecing a luxury vehicle for me. And we looked at the numbers and something, it just scared us. And something caused me to order the total money makeover. And I read it in one night when Sean was out of town and I looked around our living room and it hit me that this is our home, but it's not our house. It's the banks. And it terrified me. So I started working on Sean to try and get him on board

and couldn't get him on board until I bribed him and told him I would make him any five dinners he wanted if he had it read by the time he came back from his next business trip. And I am very food motivated.

Food! There we go. Touchdown. She knows how to get her man's attention. I like it. So you read the book. Yeah, so I read the book and took off on my first flight and did the first leg, which is about two and a half hours, three hours, and read it.

And I landed on my layover and called Sydney, and she asked me, what do you think? She's all excited. And, you know, I hadn't quite hit home with me yet because we weren't at a place where necessarily step one, two, and really three applied quite. But I said, you know, I think I'll keep reading it. It makes sense, but it doesn't necessarily apply to us and where we're at right now. When I hung up the phone, a young lady sitting next to me said, you know, I've been meaning to ask you what you thought of that book. And she

hadn't talked to me the whole flight. She said, two years ago, I became debt-free because of Dave, and now I'm a couple years away from becoming a millionaire, and you really should finish that book. And I went, all right. So the next leg, I read the rest of the book and got excited. It hit home. It made sense. Called her by the time I landed in Dallas and said, I'm in.

Let's do this. Wow, just like that. She has no idea how much she changed our life. Exactly. That's amazing. Yeah, there are no coincidences. It. Just like that. She has no idea how much she changed her life. Exactly. That's amazing. Yeah, there are no coincidences. It's not an accident. She ended up sitting beside you. That's pretty incredible.

So did you pay up? Did you cook the five meals? Of course. Yeah, she did. Good for you. Well, you should. That's awesome. Very cool. Very cool. So you... And begins a six-year journey. Yep. And you pay off $758,000, your home and everything. And as you said, you've got a good shovel, so life is good, but you just got really, really intentional.

So what are the keys to getting out of debt? You know, stay focused. I think keep that end game in mind and where you're going. It was really hard for us in the beginning of the journey because we had that rental property. We decided we should sell it. We were kind of under on it. And it sat empty for a long time. And the AC broke.

And the furnace broke. Murphy hit, right? And this is the beginning of the journey. And we didn't have kind of those small wins to begin with. And it was really discouraging. But we kept talking about, you know, our family tree and what we want our future to look like, and we plugged through and stayed motivated and, again, keep that end goal. And then start now.

We wish we had started when I did FPU. We're grateful we started when we did. So anybody that's thinking about it, just start now. You'll be so grateful in a year, three years, five years. grateful so how old are you two i am 33 i'm 34 and you're millionaires yes yeah easy no i mean the house is worth almost a million so then you got 401ks and stuff on top of that i'm sure uh from before you started and and uh so well done y'all how's it feel? free it's so freeing we knew it would feel good to get to this point but we didn't know how good it would feel

just the freedom to choice of what we want to do how we want to live our life what we want to do with our family it feels like it's up to us now our lives are ours to decide now we're not going to be forced into anything and it feels surreal to be here we watch watch debt-free screams like every day for the last

all of these years. So it's really cool to be here doing this. Wow. Well, we're glad you're here. Congratulations. Very, very fun. That is amazing. Well, and with this kind of an income and only 33 years old and 100% debt-free and already worth a million, I mean, you're going to be, zoom, zoom, you're going to be in a position to do outrageous generosity, not to mention live an incredible life and not to mention absolutely slam-dunk changing your family tree. Yeah. So, very cool. And during the six years you had a baby.

Yes. And how old is your baby? He is 14 months. Oh, fun and um what's his name this is conlan okay hey conlan very cool here to do a debt-free scream and doesn't even know it that's right i love it that's so fun well that's a good motivator right there so very well done we got a copy of chris hogan's book for you everyday millionaires you're already one and it'll prove to you why as you get through through it, you'll enjoy that read as well.

So I'll show you how people have really done what you've done, and now you're just one more story that's in there. But it's your story, and it's a great one. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you, Dave. I'm sure your mom and dad are really proud of you. Who are your other cheerleaders?

We've got my mom here with us and Sidney's parents here, and they've been cheering us the whole way. And we also taught FPU, and so we want to do a shout-out. One of the women in our class just finished paying off all of her student loans this month. So, hey, Sammy. Way to go, Sammy. Good. Very cool.

All right. It's Sean and Sidney and Conlon from Boise, Idaho. $758,000 paid off in six years, making over $225,000 as a household the whole time. Great job, guys. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! I love it! That's fun. That's fun.

Well, it is awfully fun to talk to someone at any age that has paid off their debt, at any income that has paid off their debt. But because of the way the numbers work, because of the power of compound interest over time, when I'm talking to these couples that are 30 years old, and I'm doing it almost every hour lately, that have paid off everything, house and everything, they're going to be in a position to not simply be millionaires. They're going to be in a position to live their life beautifully, like I told them, probably have net worths in excess of $10 million or more

by the time they hit retirement age, and have changed their family tree. And it's pretty incredible. And the interesting thing is it's simple to understand. It's just hard to do because everybody's got a stupid butt opinion. All these broke people have an opinion. And all I have to do is put one of these proven things on Twitter, and I can create hate for two days off of that.

Because everybody's got a stupid butt opinion. All these broke people with opinions. Instead, I'm sitting here looking at Sean and Sidney, who are complete freaking rock stars. And that's an opinion you ought to take. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. Thanks for joining us, America. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Open phones at 888-825-5225. You ever feel frustrated that you didn't learn about money when you were in high school?

You know, ever since I've been teaching this stuff, people say, you ought to teach this in high school. So we did. We started teaching it in high school a few years ago. Developed a high school curriculum that meets all the guidelines and benchmarks of the educational systems across america and i've been approved in every state and we're now in about 48 percent of the high schools in america and it's called foundations and personal finance so lots of your teens are going through the stuff that we teach this curriculum curriculum is the real deal, and teachers all across the country know it. Educators really want to teach it because they know it's real practical

and it's something they're actually helping their kids with. But sometimes they run into money problems. They don't have the money to buy the curriculum. And so if you want to learn how your business can be a sponsor and make a difference in this, and you can sponsor foundations and personal finance in your local high school or high schools in the area. Just go to DaveRamsey.com slash sponsor, DaveRamsey.com slash sponsor,

and you can jump in and partner with us, and we'll help these kiddos out into the next generation. Jackie's with us in North Carolina. Hi, Jackie. How are you? I'm well. How are you, sir? Better than I deserve. What's up? My husband and I recently started the program, and at work, they offer us these additional insurances.

Now, a couple years back, I was diagnosed with cancer, and I was left with a really high debt. So I guess it was a scare tactic, and I signed up for all these insurance policies, additional policies. My question is, should I still be signed up for them or just rely on my regular insurance or bribing my work? What you ought to do is kind of go back and visit not the feeling, but what really happened when you got cancer that caused the debt. Well, I was self-employed. I had my own insurance policy, but it didn't cover everything. Okay. My chemos, you know, they ranged.

It went from $12,000 to $15,000. You know, it fluctuated, and I was left with like $250,000 worth of debt. Okay, so you had a bad health insurance plan is what you're saying. Exactly. Okay. Does your current plan, your current health insurance plan with your current employer, is it a good one? Does it cover the type of stuff that you experienced before? Yes.

Okay. So that need has gone away then, hasn't it? Yes, sir. Yeah, and the rest of it is gimmick. Okay. All the supplemental policies are gimmick. Okay. All the supplemental policies are gimmicks. We recommend good health insurance to cover cancer and heart attacks and diabetes and anything else that people run into. It's basic health insurance needs. You need good coverage. How much is your deductible?

It's $500. Okay. $500? Yeah. And what is the co-pay after that um co-payment i think it's 20 okay and so if you had a 100 000 bill from a hospital you would owe 20 000 yes okay and 200 000 40 000 and so on okay that's a lot different than where you used to be agreed yeah now of course you're gonna if. Now, of course, if you're going to work our plan, you're going to get out of debt, and then you're going to build an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses, which would cover that copay portion in 90% of the cases, right? Yes, sir. And as you build wealth, you'd have other monies to cover anything above that if you continue on and do our whole process and follow

through. So I'm going to use the money that's going to miscellaneous cancer policies and short-term disabilities and all that kind of stuff to make sure we have, number one, debt freedom, and then number two, build your emergency fund. And that, combined with good health insurance, gives you the coverage. Okay? I don't own cancer insurance. I don't own short-term disability insurance.

I have long-term disability insurance through our group plan here at the office, and I have a great health insurance plan through our group plan here at the office, the company I own, okay? But I don't buy those supplementals. I self-insure through my co-pays and my deductibles with savings, and I self-insure through any kind of income loss I would have that's permanent with long-term disability. Short-term disability you would cover with your emergency fund,

and that's the definition of a rainy day. So good question, and it's a good thing to unpack. But the other stuff is basically, like you said, it's fear-based selling. And it's gimmicky insurance. And you're much better off to spend your money on other things. Like sometimes, thank you for calling in. Sometimes folks, like at their work, have accidental death insurance. And it doesn't cost but $3.

Well, that's $6. dollars that's 72 a year and for 72 a year how much term insurance you could buy whether you regardless of how you die whether it's by accident or otherwise okay so here's the thing you're not double dead if you buy by die by accident and your family doesn't need twice as much money. They need the same amount of money. That's all. And so you don't need these gimmicky insurances. Jonathan is with us. Jonathan's in California.

How are you, Jonathan? I'm doing good, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve. How can I help? All right, so I'm calling in to ask a question about, I think, what you refer to as gazelle intensity. I've been listening for about six to eight months, and I'm hitting sort of like a rough patch over the past year. Because about a year ago, after having just proposed to my then-girlfriend, a few days later, I found out that she had been unfaithful for a number of months.

And I guess, I don't know, for the past year, I just haven't been able to stay motivated in doing things like sticking to your plan. I've done things sort of like uh trying to you know i picked up extra jobs here and there how old are you um i'm 26 how old 26 sir 26 okay cool all right and how long had you dated this girl uh we were together since um we started in community college, so five years until I found out. Okay. All right.

Well, I mean, a normal human being, if you got messed over this way after five years invested into a relationship, a girl you're deeply in love with, you get engaged to, and then you find out she's been messing around on the side, a normal human being, that would be called a heartbreaking situation. A normal human being would be down for a while. If that didn't knock you on your back, you'd be like a psychopath. Yeah. I mean, you were in an emotional car wreck. It takes a little while to recover from a big car wreck, right?

Yeah. Airbag deployed, smacked you in the face dude yeah yeah so you got permission to hurt a little i'll give you permission to hurt a little i would have been crying and whining carrying on sucking my thumb blaming everybody i mean i don't blame you um yeah my um my main concern is that uh it's so it's a little bit weirder than that. It's, you know, it's been a year, and since then, both she and I have attempted to reconcile. Nah, move on. It's a deal breaker.

Yeah. I mean, you live a lie of five years. I'd move on. You do what you want to do. I'm just an old man, okay? But if you were my son, I would tell you, catch your chips, get off this table, dude. Not a chance. I'd be walking and be looking for somebody that's going to be the love of your life.

Let me tell you why you're not winning financially and why your career is not going zoom, zoom, okay? A, your heart's broken and your reason for doing all of this was this beautiful glorious future with rainbow and skittles that you had mapped out that got trampled on yeah okay and um that's uh uh you know what you have to have in order to get excited again is to have a reason to be excited. And just doing the stuff to do the stuff is not exciting. Working your butt off to get out of debt is not exciting unless there's something on the other end of it. What's your new why?

And the question you have to ask yourself about this girl is, you're 26. Let's pretend that everything, you get reconciled, you go through some counseling, and you get married, and you're 26. Let's pretend that everything, you get reconciled, you go through counseling and you get married and you're 35 and she comes home late from a girl's bridge party one night. You're always going to wonder. Always. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. show. You know you can listen or watch anywhere with the Dave Ramsey Show app on your smartphone. Catch the full show or watch the highlights and check out Dave's upcoming guests.

Head to the App Store and download it today.