The Ramsey Show - App - Sell the Car… It’s Putting Your Family at Risk (Hour 1)

Episode Date: September 14, 2022

Take our Audience Survey & Enter to Win a $500 Visa Gift Card: Click here to take the survey Dave Ramsey & Ken Coleman discuss: Fear over investing in mutual funds vs. real estate, What to do with a pension, Dealing with finances after the death of a spouse, Dealing with a stressful income situation, Sometimes you just have to sell the car, Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Pods Moving and Storage studio, it's The Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. We help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. As we take your questions about your life and your money, the phone number is 888-825-5225.

That's 888-825-5225. Just a few minutes ago, Ken and I jumped off the plane and ran over here to do the show today. We're back in from Phoenix this morning. Two wonderful back-to-back sold-out events in Phoenix. Thank you, Phoenix. We appreciate you. We love you. We appreciate the turnout.

It was an absolutely incredible couple of days. Incredible, great crowds. They got there early, and they stayed all the way through and just a tremendous amount of momentum that you're feeling in the lives of those people as we get to greet so many people after the event signing books taking pictures people are winning and that's not a narrative you hear very often and it's exciting to get out among the people and talk real practical principles to build wealth where it has nothing to do with relying on the government or quite frankly anybody else and uh it has nothing to do with relying on the government or, quite frankly, anybody else.

And it's exciting to see that. These are the building wealth events that are all sold out for this fall. We'll be also in Sacramento and Minneapolis, in San Antonio before it's over. And those are all sold out as well. There might be a few tickets to Minneapolis left, I think. But it's basically gone. And it's fun to run into folks. Like you said, this is, um, this crowd at building wealth. We ran into a lot of baby steps, millionaires showing up and they're just there to relearn that the things they've been doing all these years are still

smart. That's right. And, and, you know, it was exciting to see so much optimism, you know, it's, first of all, it's nice to be out and get into a full room. And the energy that comes from a live event. If you hear about one of our Ramsey live events coming to a city near you, jump on it. It's a special, special night. And there's something about being together. It is. That's exactly what it is.

You're fired up. Even the Everyday Millionaires. Excuse me, the Baby Steps Millionaires. Even they're there because they're just like, you what we're still teaching financial peace university we're leading these classes and we do it because it meant so much to us yeah yeah there's a huge move out there right now well thank you guys we appreciate you phoenix we appreciate you america again open phones here right now at 888-825-5225 let's start this this hour with Tyler in Riverside, California. Hey, Tyler, what's up?

Hi, thanks for taking my call. Sure. So my husband and I are in a little disagreement about where we should invest our money in the future. I want to invest into... You want to invest into what and he, you want to invest into what your phone cut out. Oh, I want to invest in the mutual funds and he wants to only invest in the property because he's afraid of doing the stock market and everything. So I just want to know like, what, how we should go about that or if we can do both, even if we're not very knowledgeable about it,

or how I can talk to him about how it works. Well, investing in real estate, unless you have the money to pay cash for it, is not what we would recommend. Borrowing money to go into real estate is a lot more risk than anything the stock market represents as far as risk goes. So, but paying cash for some rental properties and having some mutual funds in your Roth IRAs and 401ks is a great idea, a good mix of that. That's what I personally have. And so, yeah, doing both would be, you know, what, if that's what each of you kind of, your husband has more of a real estate idea

and you have more of a mutual fund idea, then I don't know why you can't do both. Is he completely opposed to putting any money into the stock market? He's really wary about it. Even when I try to tell him how it works, based on just, you know, what I hear from you, knowing that, oh, we don't have to worry about it. We have to do it ourselves. Once it's in there for 20 to 30 years we know it's going to be good but he what is what is he wary about he really thinks because it goes up and down that if it goes down it could crash and it'll just all be bad okay but based on what is it going to crash what is he basing that on because it never has except except 1928 okay so he's he's I think he's just in the back of his mind that anything

could happen if we're not looking at it or anything could happen if you drive to work yeah I really don't know how to convince him because he's very scared of putting it somewhere where someone else is moving it and we're not the ones doing it. Oh, you should be doing it. You need to be picking the mutual funds, but just like you pick a neighborhood to buy real estate in. How old is your husband? He's 30. What does he do for a living? He's a bike salesman right now. Okay right so here's the thing there's two kinds of fear the fear that is a reality that's like don't touch a hot stove

don't stand in the middle of the interstate with an 18-wheeler coming at you okay that's that's fear that's reality and you want to avoid those kinds of fear. And that's fear telling you how to survive, right? The other kind of fear is false evidence appearing real. And so what it amounts to is he's heard his buddies at the bike shop, who are financial idiots, talk about how the stock market's going to crash. And they have no idea what they're talking about. And so he needs better sources of information he needs to learn some more because the more knowledge you have i mean the first time you get

behind the first we'll use a metaphor that works here the first time you get on a bicycle when you're learning to ride a bike when you're four or five or whatever it is right you're afraid but then once you've done it a long time you have knowledge about how the bicycle works and you're now functioning and so all he's lacking here is knowledge he's not basing this from what you're describing on anything uh other than a vague feeling right yeah yeah and you don't need to make decisions in your life on anything on vague feelings. And so I would just encourage both of you to continue the learning process. And yeah, I would have some real estate in there if you're willing to pay cash for it.

But if you guys are just now getting out of debt and you don't have a big pile of money, you're probably not going to be in the real estate market for a while. And buying real estate on debt is much riskier than the stock market is. You're asking for it when you're doing that. So we tell people not to do that. I don't do that. Tyler, I would suggest two things. One, if you've never contacted and met with one of our SmartVestor pros, go to ramseysolutions.com, set up an appointment, and maybe set up two or three so that he can sit with you in the office of one of our smart investor pros and let them answer all of his questions is my new uh the minutiae to the broad that's the first step but i also tell him to go in there not don't buy anything yeah this is a

information this is a we're going to go to class right we're going to and you're going to do this as a favor to me right then the other thing is i I'm going to tee Dave up really quick, Tyler, because over the course of 50, 60 years, what's been the average rate of return on the stock market? A little over 11, close to 12. She's got to speak in super simple terms, almost the Ross Perot poster board. Here's the graph. Here's what it's done over a long period of time. Simplicity will help. Yeah, but I mean, you just learn the history of something. That's the graph. Here's what it's done over a long period of time. Simplicity will help. Yeah. But I mean, you just learn the history of something.

That's right. And then you don't worry about it as much because facts are your friends. Fear is not your friend. This is The Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Susan is with us in Portland, Maine. Hi, Susan. Welcome to the Ramsey show hi dave good afternoon so i have a rather um uninformed question so i apologize for my lack of information but i'm calling about a lump sum pension uh distribution from my husband's employer. So the amount of the distribution, well, we're both 65.

We were both planning on working for probably another two years. But he's been talking with people in his work who are retiring this year and who are planning to retire in 2023. And I have a question about the withholding, that the employer is, I believe, required to withhold from your distribution. Is that correct? Well, there's two options on that. One is if you actually take the distribution in cash and bring it home, put it in your checking account, they are required to withhold 20%, and it will be taxed on your actual tax rate, which will probably be more than 20%.

What's the lump sum? How much is it? Well, the lump sum from the pension is $475,000. That's its value right now. So I don't think it's going to go up a lot. Okay, so here's what you want to do instead of that. You want to go to your SmartVestor Pro, your investment advisor, and do a direct transfer rollover of the lump sum distribution

into an IRA and mutual funds. Because you don't need $400,000 in your checking account right now. And there's no reason for you to pay taxes on it right now. And so I would roll it all to an IRA in mutual funds that you sit down with your SmartVestor Pro and pick, and there's no taxes withheld and no taxes due when you do that. And so they're telling my husband that there is a 20% withholding. There is if he takes it home. But there is a 20% withholding, and the taxes will be greater than that

because you're going to have a $400,000 income that year, so you're going to have a 40% tax, 39.2. Okay, so you're going to get hammered. But they are not required to do that if you do a direct transfer rollover they are required not to touch it as a matter of fact okay okay and then there's no withholding the entire amount goes into it exactly it's called a direct transfer rollover meaning it doesn't come home to you it goes from one type of retirement to another type of retirement you're just moving it around all still under the protection the umbrella of the retirement plan so that it

doesn't get hammered by the government okay and then when you of course when you do take out anything you take out it's going to be taxed right and you're going to have required minimum minimum distributions beginning at 72 yeah okay so on okay and is there so i'm sorry another unimportant question but there there isn't a capital gains tax correct there's no capital gains at all on any of this in any situation it's all ordinary income it's all your regular tax on your what your income is and basically in future, that'll be whatever your income is, plus whatever you withdraw from this in any year is income. Right. So when you bring some of it home from this direct transfer rollover later,

like if you pull $100,000 out, that's $100,000 of income that year. Correct. But there's no capital gains at all on it. Okay, so I already have to have an IRA account established. No, no, you need to go to your SmartVestor Pro or whoever you guys work with, and you're going to establish a new one. It has to be a separate new one, but it's an IU. Open an IRA.

Then they send the paperwork from that IRA, from that mutual fund company, over to your husband's company. Your husband's company sends the money directly to them. It doesn't come to you. Don't let them write you a check. Right, right, right. I don't want it to come to me. You write for the reasons that you just stated. Correct.

And is the employer required to do that? Yes, they don't have a choice. They can't say no. This is regulation. This is tax regs. Okay. All right. They may be ignorant about it, and somebody has to teach them,

but usually if somebody's got a big enough pension that there's $400,000 in it, they know enough of what they're doing that they know you can do a direct transfer. Yeah. 100 grand in it they know enough of what they're doing that they know you can do a direct transfer yeah and is there any benefit then to like retiring this year and taking that versus working i mean we were we were both going to work another two years so if he can take the lump sum next year there's there's no problem the only thing is that it when you move this money it doesn't die when he dies but a pension dies with him right oh yes of course so if he if he if he wants to work into 23 and then dies before he gets that money out of there that's a four hundred thousand dollar error even if i'm the beneficiary just tell him don't die okay all right all right no pressure

all right and and i mean and we both have 401ks as well so i guess we'll be facing this perhaps the same situation exactly you'll do the exact same thing with your 401k when you leave okay well i'm i'm relieved thank you so much and. And I did reach out to the SmartVestor Pro people that your site recommended, so thank you. And I heard back. So I was just hoping to be a little bit informed before going to them. So thank you so much. Well, they'll tell you the exact same thing, and it's a fairly standard process. And that'll keep a big chunk of taxes out of Washington, D.C.,

which any time we do that i think that's a character thing yeah we should have a sound effect like a little show party sound effect anytime we help a listener or viewer avoid taxes to the government it should be a celebration be some kind of confetti digital confetti right boy it is with us in houston heyd, what's up? Oh, not much, you know. Better than we deserve, sir. How can we help? I had my wife pass two years ago, and she was looking after all our money. And I got hit with a tax bill of $140,000. So I put a mortgage on my house.

It was free. Then I put a mortgage on my house to pay them. Then she passed, and I've been trying to figure out, I had $2.2 million to start with in my 401k, but I didn't want to make any movements on it until I got everything because looking after the money is a hard job. And now I've been listening to your show. This is not the time.

I was just going to take out enough to pay this all off. I would. But now they're saying, is that right? Yeah, I'll pay off your house today. You got $2 million. You got a $140,000 mortgage. I'll pay your house off today. Yeah, let's drop down to $1,700,000.

Yeah, it'll come back up. I'm not worried about that part. I just want you to be rid of the mortgage. How old are you? I'm 66. Okay. Okay. Are you confident about what you're doing with all this stuff?

How did you end up with a $140,000 tax bill? Oh, I worked overseas and I didn't report something. Oh, okay. Okay. overseas and i didn't uh didn't report something oh okay okay so i had to either pay them up and i shouldn't pay them up front yeah oops yeah okay so that but that was while she was alive yes sir she looked after all that okay i'm so sorry that's a hard thing to go through and then it leaves you half knowing what's going on or not feeling confident in any way of what's going on. But obviously you guys have done a wonderful job saving and investing.

Congratulations on that part. But the problem is I get all this advice from people, but the majority of them don't have any money. Well, I don't need advice from people. People are stupid. Yeah, you don't need advice from people. People are stupid. Yeah, you don't want to do that. You need to get with a good investment brokerage firm like one of our SmartVestor Pros that has the heart of a teacher and let them teach you to increase your confidence. That changes everything, doesn't it, Ken? It really does, and I just want to encourage

you, Boyd, getting with one of our SmartVestor Pros with the nest egg that you already have and the advice that Dave has given you, you're going to be absolutely debt-free. That investment and that fund is going to grow. Now you're going to have knowledge of what to do in the future. Take a deep breath. You're going to be okay, and you're going to be able to get out of this. But go see a SmartVestor Pro or two or three and pick one that you feel like you've got a great connection with and let them teach you. You make the decisions because you're going to be really clear,

and that's going to give you confidence. Theme for the hour so far, knowledge displaces fear. It's true. Displaces lack of confidence. It's true. Clarity always does that. Displaces lack of peace. Knowledge.

Know what's going on. This is The ramsey show Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Victor's in Atlanta. Hi, Victor. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Victor? Did I push the button? I did push the button. Victor, are you there? All right, we're just going to put you the button. Victor, are you there?

All right. We're just going to put you on hold, Victor, and figure out what happened there. Chris is in San Jose. Hey, Chris, what's up? Hello. How are you all doing? Thank you for taking my call. Better than we deserve.

You're welcome. How can we help? Yes, we're in kind of a unique situation. We just recently moved to San Jose from Oklahoma, and we sold sold our home there and we want to follow the baby steps and listening to the show for a little bit. But we also want to be able to buy a house someday. We have four children and we're not sure if we should follow the baby steps, even though I normally know you would recommend doing that. We have about three to six months of reserves, but my job is not necessarily very secure because I'm a pastor. And because it's so expensive here,

it would put us in a really bad spot if we were to use the money that we have in savings to pay off our two vehicles, which we could pay them both off right now, but it would leave us with no savings. We just bought a new van because we have a fourth child. So we're not sure how to proceed. We have no retirement to speak of except for my wife's retirement, who's about to be a stay-at-home mom as well,

based on the situation that we have four children. She has about $12,000 in her retirement account. What's your income, Pastor? Make $75,000 per year, but that's before tax i'm considered um self-employed but then i also get another 2200 per month from a va disability why is it why is it not stable well just why did you move your family from oklahoma city to california to a not stable situation i found out more about the finances after I got here. I was a full-time student before that going through college or seminary. This is my first job as a pastor. I

didn't understand that we didn't have as much money in terms of the church and what we're bringing in. And this is the first time they've ever had two passers on staff. They already had one on staff. So I was not completely aware of how it could be. We're getting by. It's been a year now, and everything's good thus far. It's just, I suppose it's unstable in the sense that if something went south at all, God forbid something like COVID happened again or whatever, I might be the first one that gets let go is my fear there. if something went south at all, God forbid something like COVID happened again or whatever, you know,

I might be the first one that gets let go as, as my fear there. So what do you owe on your cars? We owe a little less than 11,000 on one vehicle. And then the one we just purchased is we owe 32,000. We just bought that one. You can't afford that car pastor. Okay.

You way overbought on car that's i looked for about a year bullcrap the inventory bullcrap not buying it you make seventy five thousand dollars a year you bought you got a fourth kid your mother your mother your wife told you to go buy a van and you did but you way over purchase you put your family in jeopardy with that with that purchase that purchase was very unwise and that's me being kind okay you need to sell it and you need to get a van that'll haul your kids for about 10 000 bucks and then let's just pay all of that off and uh then all of a sudden your life is stable again the destabilizing factor here is this van that's what's caused everything to go on tilt you didn't have this van situation you'd

be able to pay off the other one you'd be able to pay off a cheaper van and still have money left over and you wouldn't be freaking out but the fact that you want to pay off something that you can't afford forty thousand dollars total thirty and eleven and then leaves you with no money when the church is also financially unstable, that's a problem. Now, I don't know how you're going to go home and sell that. Yeah, it depends on how new it is. You've got so much tied up in things that are going down in value. No, I mean, I don't know how you're going to sell that to Mama. Oh, yeah, I agree.

She's not going to be happy with that advice. She's not going to be happy with this. She's going to be like, Dave, dave who yeah who did what yeah yeah well you guys you guys did an impulse purchase based on the emotion of a new baby and moving to a new city that you really cannot afford you really really stepped in it and um you know you guys if i woke up in your shoes that's exactly what i would do and then i. And then I would pay off. I'd pay cash for whatever you buy. This will probably sell for pretty close to what you paid for it since you just got it.

But you simply bought something you can't afford. When you have more than half of your annual income tied up in things that go down in value, it's very difficult to prosper. Very difficult. And cars and anything with wheels and motors goes down in value it's very difficult to prosper very difficult and cars and anything with wheels and motors goes down in value period uh and so this is just a it's you know you guys did a lot of you know you graduated you from seminary you moved you took a new job you're in california you got a new baby there's a lot going on. So I'll cut you some slack. But you've got to go back and undo this decision.

Yeah, and I would just challenge you, Pastor, that you know this with your training. You're in ministry. You're going to have to go home and talk to your wife about this. And this is going to have to be vision casting, not demands. You're going to have to. She's got the safety gland, and she's got that desire gland, and she wanted that van. And you got the new baby, and she really loves that van. She she wanted that van and you you got the new baby and she really loves that van she's probably never had a van that nice that's a tough battle to fight

but the way you win that is i would literally take that car payment and i if i were going to do this with stacy i would write that figure big on a piece of paper this is what we're paying per month and then i would just do some simple math, times 12, times 24, times 36, so she can see if we sell this van and we don't have this car payment anymore, look how much more money we actually have and really speak to her safety gland. I think that's the best way to do this. I really do. Proverbs 22, 7 says the borrower is slave to the lender,

and, sir, you are feeling that. You're feeling trapped, and you know you are and that that's what did this and so um sorry but that's exactly what i would do if i woke up in your shoes and if you don't do this you have left your family vulnerable not the church that doesn't that is that is in question not the move not you being called to the ministry none of those things left your family vulnerable a stinking van did so let's just call stuff what it is so that that's what that's what the danger it's a danger point is what it is and it without the pressure of that particular thing this whole situation changes pretty dramatically victor is with it that was victor no it wasn't i tried to get victor a minute ago and i screwed it up

or victor screwed it up or who just who screwed it up victor you or me i have no idea how can we help but i'll take the blame that's okay i sometimes i hit the wrong button i've been doing this a while but but I do it sometimes. What's up? Hey, nothing much. So I'm in the process of selling my house right now, and I'm not sure exactly how much I'm getting back. But I was just trying to see with the money that I do get back,

it might be $30,000, might be a little bit more, because we still own the house. So I was just trying to see with the money that I get, what should I do? Should I save it? Should I pay off some of my debt? Where are you going to live? I'm actually moving in with my sister for now until I figure out a situation. I don't think buying a house right now is the best idea. do so and I'll because the situation in your life yeah okay yeah all right so for right now you're just kind of reaching for some safety yes how much debt do you have sir so I owe 26 on my car and if I

sell the house that would take it get off the house so 26 on my car and maybe like 900 credit card debt what do you make uh 55,000 a year there's a theme here Ken yes yes yeah uh I hear it on the top yeah you know what i'm gonna say then what am i gonna say um the car the car sell the car yeah i would go buy a ten thousand dollar car with cash and i would sell this other one and again you're trying to reach you're moving you're selling your home you're moving with your sister because it's a life situation and you need a sense of safety right now and just exactly like the last caller this car is stealing your safety this over purchase on a car so uh that was the sell the car segment yeah for those of you just joining us this is the ramsey show ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, host of the Ken Coleman Show,

where we talk about, or he talks about jobs, careers, getting the ability to make money, doing something that you actually like and can actually make a big difference in. He's my co-host today. If you've got questions about that, jump in. He's right here to help you. And, of course, we'll talk about whatever you want to. That's what we do here on the Ramsey Show. The phone number is 888-825-5225. Ken, it is worth revisiting because we just sold two people's precious cars, hypothetically, if either one of them do it.

Not sure either one of them will, by the way. But the car is the largest thing. And I'm a car person. I like cars. I'm anything with a loud muffler. I'm a good redneck. And so, you know, I get it. But cars go down in value.

They're the largest purchase that we as consumers make that goes down in value. And consequently, the arithmetic tells us that the car payment, and today the average car payment in America is over $700, the car payment is more of a detriment to your wealth, your ability to become wealthy, than just about anything else. That's exactly right. And as you point out all the time, you're putting all that time and effort. You just think about the amount of time you spend at work, how much of a percentage of your overall expenses that vehicle is,

and then remind yourself it's depreciating in value. And you're going to be upside down in it before you know it. And that's what, I mean, George and I co-hosted the show a week or so ago, and he showed me this TikTok video we played for the audience. And people admitting with glee, Dave, that they had a $1,200 car payment. One couple said, we have $2,400 in car payments. And they were saying it with a smile on their face like hey it's just what you're supposed to do and it's mind-numbing the messaging that goes into this that you gotta have a brand new car or a newer car and people are overspending to your point they cannot afford it yeah and and it

really let me just tell you what it is okay it's prestige exactly right status you're right because it's look at my car and everything else you you say about it is a justification and a lie. Completely true. But at the end of the day, it's prestige. Oh, yeah. Because a $32,000 van will haul four kids, and so will a $10,000 van. Exactly. It will haul four kids safely.

We're not putting their little lives in jeopardy. Right. That's a bunch of crap. That's right. And it's not, you know, well, I i want something reliable and all those used cars are reliable you know what your new car is a year after you got it it's used yes and you know it must be about to break down you must be about to die right now and by the way kids destroy a new car as quickly as they do a used car they don't care they're gonna throw their little motz applesauce containers and their cheetos and

goldfish everywhere have you seen you don't care you must have been to throw their little Mott's applesauce containers and their Cheetos and goldfish everywhere. Have you seen Rachel's car? You must have been inside Rachel's car. I haven't. But I know she's got three kids. So welcome. She's got three kids and she's never kept a clean car in her whole life. Oh, boy.

But it's just like, man, it looks like a trash hole. And it's like, but it's got the little goldfish or ground into the carpet. You know, it's like, oh, my God. But yeah, that it doesn't matter what you pay for it that's what you're going to have that's my point why buy a brand new van when the kids are going to destroy it well it's okay if you've got two million dollars if you want to go buy a brand new van i don't care but that doesn't happen very but but we're talking about somebody making 75 000 somebody making 50 000 the 26 000 car 32 000 car and this is um you know and all it is is you get car fever

which you know you which means your your brain quits working right and you start you go oh we have to have something reliable we have to have something safe and we haven't we have babies we have to have room for them all we can't put them in this old thing and well that's true that old thing may need to be changed out for a different old thing but true um but listen you're just you're mathematically saying with that purchase i intend to stay in the middle class yes that's what that is it's a death sentence yeah to your mathematics settle for it well i'm going to settle for the life I have to live just so that I can feel good about myself when I pull up to soccer practice and my car looks like everybody else's or maybe a bit nicer. Yeah.

You really nailed it on the whole status symbol thing. Well, it's even worse than soccer practice. It's the stoplight. Oh, right. At least you know the people at soccer practice. The people at the stoplightlight you'll never meet them and the amount of money you lost while you were sitting there at the stoplight to impress someone you will never meet is astronomical so true i had a young guy call on the show one time and talk about how he was in sales and he needed the really nice car because it went into his entire credibility and i said

let me tell you something you realize there's parking spaces in the back of the lot or around the corner. They don't care what you're driving. You're not driving into the lobby of their building. Park around the back. Look sharp. Use an iron. You're going to be okay. Brush your teeth.

Take a bath. You don't need a super nice car to close a deal. Yeah. If you do, then you got the wrong deal. Yeah. It's a problem. You know, I've done sales most of my life of one kind or another, and I don't recall is a deal yeah if you do then you got the wrong deal yeah it's it's a problem i you know i've i've done sales most of my life of one kind or another and i don't recall ever making or losing a sale

based on what i was driving it's true when i said when i first moved to nashville years ago and i was in sales i was driving a ford taurus dave that had no air conditioning and the the carpet or whatever you'd call the fabric on the roof head The headliner. Thank you, Dave. I just said carpet. It probably did have carpet. I had shag carpet up there. If it was a Taurus, you had shag carpet on the roof. But the top of the thing, one day, Dave, it started drooping. Yeah. I had that.

Stacey and I were newly married. We'd been married two years, and I literally had a staple gun that I'd bought recently for household duty, and I fell in love with the staple gun. Jeremy Breland, one of our leaders here, saw this. I got out of the car one day. It was irritating it was coming down i'm a short guy and i got home and i went and grabbed my staple gun out of the garage and went in went three staples it was fantastic until i gave it away to a 16 year old girl in our church that needed a car but i drove it for three more years with staples in the headline yeah i've done that too get over it

nobody cared it was a great story actually yeah and you need those stories to be able to tell your kids someday steven is with us in cincinnati hey steven welcome to the ramsey show hey dave how are you better than i deserve what's up so i have a question about giving um i'm 20 years old and i'm on baby step 3B. And I have some close friends of mine who just recently lost their baby that they were carrying. And I really felt led to give them a gift of $1,500. And I know that they're not that good with money and they're pretty normal when it comes to debt and being in debt. And so I really feel led to give this to them,

but I also kind of want to plant the seed and find a way to get them on board with your baby steps and maybe give them my copy of the Total Money Makeover. But I don't know how to do it in a way that's not, hey, you're fat, here's a diet book. And I was just wondering what your advice would be you're a great guy that's awesome you're great man i love you that's awesome that's very good cool beans um you know i the thing i learned to do years ago is i don't have to talk

about them i'll just talk about me and i don't mean that in a self-centered kind of way my point is this you don't need to tell them things about them that you have observed. Just talk about you and just say, hey, you know, there was a point in my life I was really struggling with money, and I had done a bunch of stupid stuff, and there was a lot of stress in our lives, in our life, in our marriage, and all I did was worry about money all the time. And when I finally got control of it it changed everything and uh this book the stuff in this book is exactly how I did it and I don't know if you guys need any of that or not if that if it matters to you or not but I gotta tell you this

book meant the stuff in this book meant a lot to me and so I wanted to give it to you as a gift I have a follow-up I've been following your program and your baby steps since i was a freshman in high school so i can't really come from an angle where i've made big mistakes with money which is a good thing but how about the household you grew up in oh yeah lots of i learned just blame it on your parents and just say, you know, when I was growing up, mom and dad were doing this stuff, and so I couldn't stand the idea of handling money, the stress I saw in our household when I was a kid. And so I started doing this stuff a long time ago, like when I was in high school. This is the stuff I did, and it's kept me from having to have the stress.

Okay. stuff I did and it's kept me from having to have the stress same angle but you're the point is you're talking about your story not their story and you know that's not offensive then if someone gives me a book and they say hey you know I lost a whole bunch of weight doing this and um you know and I feel so much better and I've got a lot more energy and this is the plan I used and hey I don't know if it means anything to you, but I want to share it with you, then you can hand it to me. I may read it. I may throw it away. But I'm not insulted.

You didn't call me fat. This is The Ramsey Show. Dave here. We just launched a brand-new audience survey for The Ramsey Show, and we'd love your feedback. You could be entered to win a $500 Visa gift card. No purchase necessary. Take the survey at ramseysolutions.com slash survey.

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