The Ramsey Show - App - Set Boundaries With Your Parents! (Hour 2)

Episode Date: May 31, 2019

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🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us.

Open phones at 888-825-5225. This is your show. It's all about what you want to talk about. 888-825-5225. Kelly is with us in Atlanta. Hi, Kelly. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Thank you so much for taking my call. I greatly appreciate it. Sure. What's up in your world? Well, currently I'm a stay-at-home mom due to a work injury that happened about two years ago. And we settled on one part of the personal injury case, giving me about $150,000 that I can either invest in, do whatever I need to do with. I'm able to knock out baby steps one, two, and three,

and I'll have everything done at the end of May. But I'm concerned about baby steps number four and five because I'm not working. Should I put some of the money in mutual funds, or should I just get to baby step number five and six? Well, I'd be putting 15% of your household income into retirement. What's your husband's income? Well, that's the thing. I'm single, so I don't think I can do a 401K being single and not working.

So should I do mutual funds instead? You can't. So how are you paying your monthly bills? Currently with my child support and workers' comp. Okay. Does that go forever? Does it go forever? Up until my kids are 18, the workers' comp, because I'm trying to get my ankle better to start back working,

that would be like between six months to a year. Okay. So your goal is to be back at work in a year when you're able to? Yes, sir. And in the meantime, workers' comp is going to take care of you? Well, and the child support money that I have. Right. Okay.

Gotcha. Okay. Good. Good. Well, that's a good plan. All right. Well, there's two parts to the answer. One is what do we do now, and two is when you go back to work.

I want you to take your normal emergency fund of three to six months of expenses because you're in the middle of a crisis, and let's go ahead and double that. Okay. In other words, let's have a little extra cash laying around until we get the other side of this mess you're in the middle of, okay? Sounds like you can see the light, the other side of it, but I want to get there before I tie all this money, because if we take the rest of that money and dump it into mutual funds

and you have an emergency, then that's something else. Now, do you have a mortgage, a home mortgage? Yes, I do. I currently owe $183K on my house, and my mortgage is about $1,248 a month. I was thinking about doing double payments on that as well. I would wait until – let's just hold off doing anything big until you get back to work. Okay. Let's put a chunk into double the emergency fund right now,

and you could just set it all in a simple CD until you get back to work. That wouldn't be a bad thing to do. When you get back to work, then I want to get that emergency fund back down to about half of that because I'm doubling it, about three to six months of expenses. Then you'll be able to start saving 15 of your income into retirement then we've got this money freed up to uh you can fund out this year's roth ira or whatever if you get some earned income to do that with and get your company's 401k help you get going on all of that then uh you know

funding kids college is baby step five and throwing the rest out of it at the house is what i'm going to do at that point but you're not okay you're not permanently barred from saving for retirement. You just are for right now in traditional retirement because you don't have an earned income today. That's right. In this calendar year, will you? Did this happen this year? No. No, it happened last year, but I still don't feel like my ankle's strong enough

to get back to the work that i was doing before yeah but i mean you will someday yes yes i will someday i'm definitely ready to go back to work yeah yeah the uh um do you do you think you'll have an earned income this year i don't think so okay but i know for sure i'll definitely push for next year gotcha okay all right so you're not gonna be able to do any you're just not gonna be a bit yeah i would just hold the money in a pile let's just hold it in a pile when and put your baby steps on pause till you get the other side of this when you get back to work then let's move through and start putting 15 of your income into retirement that's your 401. You might step up and fund you a Roth IRA. Then you could also move towards a kid's college, and let's dump some money into that

and then throw the rest of it at the house. That's what I would do when you're back to work. Restart the baby steps and run right down them. It just took me a minute to get my brain around your situation. I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you've done very well planning and handling it, though. Good job. Congratulations.

Brianna is with us in New York City. Hi, Brianna. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi. How are you, Dave? Better than I deserve. What's up? So I am making $39,000 a year right now.

I have $81,000 in debt, 12 on a car, and the rest are in student loans. I've been working the debt snowball since September, but I want to start a gymnastics company, and I'm just not sure if I take the plunge and invest in it because I do have that $81,000 in debt. Okay. Why don't you start teaching gymnastics in someone else's gym before you take a plunge? Currently, I'm the director of gymnastics at someone else's gym before you take a plunge currently i'm the director of gymnastics at someone else's gym okay um would they allow you to do some side hustle utilizing their gym um not as competition but just like private lessons or something yes i do that as

well you already do that? Yeah. And that's all included in the $39,000? Well, no, it's not because I'm also a personal trainer. So I probably make close to like $46,000, $47,000. Okay. But opening a gym costs what? Well, I was thinking of starting out smaller, like renting out a very small space

maybe a thousand square feet and starting that way and building until i had enough to like get a bigger facility i like that what's that cost um i spoke to a couple people and rent for something like that around here is probably like a thousand dollars plus like five or six hundred dollars a month for utilities okay all right and so um know, you've got to put your business model together on how many students you would have to have. If I could figure out a way to not be unethical with your current employee, employer, and start to gather up your own little book of students that could go with you somehow without having cheated your current employer in the process.

I'd like for you to get the boat closer to the dock before you try to jump, meaning you're going from zero to a negative. I mean, you're going from $40,000 a year to a negative $15,000 a year. So you have to make, you know, fifty five thousand dollars gross revenues to break even the first year with where you are right now meanwhile you got eighty thousand dollars worth of debt that scares me i don't like that plan even though you're starting small you following me yeah because you're telling me your expenses are about 15k a year to get the minimal open that's not that unreasonable.

But the big problem is you have to give up your income to do it. And I don't know, with no promise of business other than just your hustle and your sweet smile, that scares me. I want to build up a book of business on the side somehow that's not, even if I rented that place while I kept my job and did my night gig over there. That might be the way to do it. This is big news, guys. You need to stop and listen. The Fed decided not to raise interest rates. That means you've got a small window of time before rates rise again.

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team of experts will give you more clarity about your options and more peace knowing you're saving significant money in the long run. Call 888-LOAN-200. That's 888-562-6200 or churchillmortgage.com. Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com. They have a 100% satisfaction guarantee. It means even if you mess up, if you mismeasure or you pick the wrong color, they're going to remake your window blind for free. With Blinds.com, you also get free samples, free shipping, and with the new promos they run every month, you're going to save money.

Check out the promo code RAMSY at Blinds.com. Jessica's in Texas. Do I include old debts in the debt snowball or just the current ones? I have a couple of old debts that are still on my credit report, and I'm not sure of if or when to pay them off. Well, they're debts you owe. You should pay them off morally. Legally, you want to pay them off. They'll come after you eventually.

And from a credit standpoint, the only way you'll ever clear up your credit to get it to a zero is to clear up all bad debts. So, yes, you should pay them off. I would pay them off after you pay off your active debts. So if you have debts that you're actively paying payments on and some that are old bad debts that you're not paying payments on, I would have two separate debt snowballs. Do your active pet debts first. List them smallest to largest. Pay minimum payments on everything but the little one. Attack the little one.

Work your way right down that list. When those are all gone, you're going to have a lot more cash every month because you don't have any payments then you call the smallest one of the inactives and you begin to work out your deal with them on what to pay them and many times if it's an old debt it will have tripled or quadrupled because they go crazy on adding collections fees and they just it goes bananas so what i tell you to do is just go back and settle it for what you originally owed it might have been two thousand dollar debt and and now they've got it to twelve thousand well i will give you two thousand you know it's what i owe and um yes technically some interest is due and you can be all kinds of technical if you want but you know

technically the the whole thing's messed up so just get in there and get it straightened out and take care of it as fast as you possibly can by settling it for about what you originally owed or less, something like that. And always get it in writing that you've settled it and never give someone electronic access to your checking account when it comes to collectors, that is. Now, again, we give electronic access to my checking account all the time for stuff like paying your cable bill or whatever. There's nothing wrong with that. But what I'm talking about is don't give collectors access. Scott is in Washington, D.C. Hey, Scott.

Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Great. So to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Great. So my wife and I are 26. We're one year out of college.

We have a gross household income of $125,000. Way to go. We have about $68,000 in total debt, and I'm wondering what to pay off first with our savings. We have about $25,000 in the bank. I'm just in a 1% interest savings account, and I want to eliminate some of this debt. Yeah, I would. Great. I'll just list your debts, smallest to largest, and I'll pay minimum payments on everything but the little one.

Let's take the first $25,000 on that list and knock it out. So you said you've got how much in debt total? So $68,000. on that list and knock it out. So you said you've got how much in that total? So 68K. So of that 68K, 30K is my wife, but she is on the federal student loan repayment program. So that pays 10,000 per year or 833 per month towards her loan. So if we don't touch that in three years, it's paid off by the government. In three years? Yeah, in three years. Yeah. Okay.

And then I have $20,000 of student loan debt. Most of it is around 4% interest. And then we have $18,000 in a car loan at about 3.2% interest rate. So we have $25,000 in savings, and we're not really working with the $30,000 of her debt right now just because that's being passively paid off right now. Yeah, so why is she on a... Let me stop just a second. I want to understand why she's on a three-year plan for forgiveness. Is she doing some kind of underserved work?

No, sir. It's not the forgiveness. It's the federal student loan repayment program. It's different than the forgiveness one. So this is an active repayment by the government. They're paying $833 per month directly into her student loans. I got you. Because she has, what does she do? She works for a congressman.

Oh, okay. All right. So she's, that's, I get it. Because she has, what does she do? She works for a congressman. Oh, okay. All right. So she's, that's, I get it. Okay. Because that's an unusual program. It's a great program, and I just want to make sure I understood what it was. Okay, good. It is.

It's a great benefit, for sure. So I'm going to ride that out, and I'll tell you how to handle that in just a second. Let's circle back. But that really basically leaves you with about $30,000 worth of debt, not counting that 30, and you've got 25 of it in the bank, right? Yes, sir. About $38,000 total between my $20,000 student loan and $18,000 car loan. So you're going to be debt-free by September no matter what we do, not counting her loan.

Right, right. Yeah, because you're going to throw $25,000 at something, and with your income on a tight budget, you're going to clean 25 at something and with your income on a tight budget you're going to clean up the rest of that very very quickly so it doesn't matter we do have a high rent um in dc we spend about 2300 a month on rent um some other things like that but uh other than that if you put if you throw 25 at the. How quick do you think you're going to pay off that other $13,000? Probably six months to a year. Oh, way too long.

Too long? Way too long to pay off $13,000 and make $125,000. Okay. You need to get on a budget, man. You're going to have to make getting out of debt a priority, or you're not going to get out of debt. We just cleaned out your freaking savings account, man. Exactly. We've got to get this done. I mean, you need to get out of debt. We just cleaned out your freaking savings account, man. Exactly. We got to get this done. I mean, you need to get hoping to leave about 5,000 in the savings account and then use 20 of that to just get rid of one of those loans. What do you think

about that? Well, what we teach folks to do is work what we call the baby steps. Baby step one is a thousand dollars in the bank. Baby step two is take all assets other than the thousand dollars that are not in retirement savings and throw them at the debt and so i'm going to take you down to a thousand bucks and i'm going to throw it all at this debt i'm going to get you on beans and rice rice and beans budget you make really good money let's clean this up if you if you screw around with this and half but do it you're going to lengthen this by triple it's going to 3x what it should be on how much how long it takes you to clean this mess up i want you to get these things cleaned up real fast and then put another 25 grand back in the bank fast as a matter of

fact i want you to put your emergency fund back in the bank plus whatever the balance is on her student loan in case she has to quit that job and then she can write a check for whatever the balance is. I don't mind it paying out over the next three years, but I want enough money, extra money, in your bank account to pay it off so she's not having to stay there if the environment became toxic or something like that. Right. I don't want her golden handcuffs holding her in there

because you didn't pay that off. You know what I'm saying? It's a great benefit until it's not a great benefit so the first goal first goal is take 20 000 bucks and pay off one of those two debts i don't care 25 000 let's get it down to 1 000 and then let's get on a tight budget knock out that other 13 i'll give you about let's see one two three give you five months to do it you need to do do it by Christmas. You need to be debt-free by Christmas other than her loan. And then I want you to start saving your emergency fund of three to six months of expenses. As soon as that is done, I want you to save up in addition to that whatever the balance is of her student loan.

And then we'll move on and start investing in Baby Step 4 and start putting money in your 401K. And that's what we teach. And that's what's helped so many people is to follow that exact plan. It's an intense, very focused plan. But the funny thing about behavior stuff, and personal finance is all about behavior, is that there's no real middle ground. You're either on or you're off, and when you go on with this, you've got to go all on because you've got to get cleaned up so you can get some money back in savings. I don't want you running around without a big savings account for long. So we've got to get right back to that as soon as we can.

Hey, thanks for the call, man. You guys have started really strong. You're making good money. Your rent is outrageous. And don't blame it on D.C. It's because you rented something too expensive. It rent is outrageous. And don't blame it on D.C. It's because you rented something too expensive. It's your fault. But other than that, you really are on fire. You got a great income. You got a great benefit on her student loan. You got a great plan. Somehow you've started

with this pile of money in the bank. I mean, you've got a good hard start here. So let's take it and run with it. Take it and run, man. You got a good thing going. Well done. Very well done. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. I'll see you next time. Paul and Shannon are in Billings, Montana. I see on my screen you're debt-free. Congratulations, you guys. We sure are, Dave. Thanks. How are you?

Better than I deserve. Well done. Well done. So how much did you pay off? Well, we paid off $200,000 in 10 years. It was just our mortgage. But $87,000 of that we did in the last 13 months. Whoa.

Okay. All right. And your range of income during that 10 years and that 13 months? Well, when we first started, after we got married and bought a house, combined we're about $60,000. And now we're up to about $140,000 between the two of us. Gotcha. What do you guys do for a living? Well, I work for the state of Montana in law enforcement.

I am in a real estate appraisal, and I recently went on my own to be self-employed. Cool. Very cool. All right. So this is your home is all it is. You paid off your home, your debt-free house and everything yes i'm talking to weird people very good i love it very good so uh what happened that the turbo charge kicked in 13 months ago tell me about this well i tell you what you know we we listen to a lot of stories about people and how they get out

of these big mounds of debt and we just always thought it was great. We got married, and we were right on the cusp of going into debt, but after listening to your radio show pretty much every day, Shannon talking to cutting up the credit cards, and we never even went into debt pretty much because of what you teach, except for a mortgage. So we started just attacking this thing, and we could kind of envision the way our lives wanted to be. Once we were debt-free, we could buy what we wanted and do what we wanted.

So we just went all in, like you said, crazy people. We didn't buy anything fun or do anything fun for about two years. We threw it all in the house and 100% worth it. Okay, but what happened 13 months ago? Because you paid off half of it in 13 months. Yeah, we had just been going along and paying off what we could, and then we just decided we were sick of it, and we wanted to be done with it, and we thought we could do this in 24 months.

We could be totally done. And as we started going, we just threw more money at it, and that's about the time I started working for myself and found out we had a little more we could throw at it. And we ended up doing it in 13 months instead of 24. Wow, good for you. How old are you guys? I'm 43, and Shannon's just about to turn 40. And she's being modest, too, because she was working for a company, and actually her boss ended up passing away.

So she had no choice but to start this thing up on her own, and she's been kicking butt for the last two years like you can't believe. We're very proud of her. Good. Way to go, you guys. How does it feel to have everything paid for, house and everything? We don't even know what to say. I mean, you just kind of wake up smiling.

I'm telling you. Way to go. Congratulations. Very well done. What do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? I think pretty much it's just being hyper-focused on not being satisfied with having any debt, making small payments on stuff. Just get it done and just go start buying stuff and having fun, saving some money.

I mean, it's very easy once you set your mind to it. We did have some visual aids, you know, little spreadsheets where we'd knock the month off with a highlighter, and it just went really well once we were on the same page. You've got to be on the same page, you know, with your spouse for sure. Absolutely. Well, well done, you two. Very, very proud of you. Congratulations.

Did you have people cheering you on or saying you were crazy? A little bit of both. You know, some people we know just thought we were crazy. You know, our parents were really supportive of us. But, yeah, it wasn't easy, but completely worth it, I guess, is the main message I want to say, which is just a wonderful thing. We ever go back in debt? Why? No.

No reason to. Now that we're here. Well, you make $140,000 a year. You don't have any payments in the world. You're well on your way. We've got a copy of Chris. Yeah, we're doing really good. Now we can kind of already see the light at the end of the tunnel, sort of an actual retirement, no second jobs for us.

We're going to pull the pin on our jobs here before you know it and just go do whatever we want. There you go. Love it. Very cool. We've got a copy of Chris Hogan's book for you. That's the next chapter in your story, to be millionaires and outrageously generous along the way a retire inspired number one bestseller congratulations you guys paul yeah yeah i said thanks oh i'm sorry i didn't hear you okay hey we wouldn't have done it without you hey you did it

man i'm proud of you paul and sh, Billings, Montana, $200,000 paid off in 10 years, 87 of which in the last 13 months, making $60,000 to $140,000. That's their house and everything. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Love it!

Well done, you guys. Very, very well done. Beautiful. Absolutely fabulous. Ariana is with us in Seattle. Hey, Ariana, how are you? I'm good. How are you, Dave? Better than I deserve. What's up? Hi. Hey, Ariana. How are you? I'm good. How are you, Dave? Better than I deserve. What's up?

Hi. So, okay. Me and my husband, we are a single income family. My husband's active duty military and we are $7,000 in debt with credit cards with nine different cards and with auto loans, we have $30,000 in debt. So with that being said, since it's nine different credit cards, we're on baby step number two, I believe, of just starting the debt snowball. And I was wondering, do I still have to make the minimum payments on the other credit cards, or should I just knock out a credit card and not worry about that taking a hit on our credit. No, you make minimum payments on everything except the smallest card and the smallest debt, and then you attack the smallest debt.

When it's gone, you take the payments you used to use there and any other money you can squeeze out of your budget and attack the next one down. What's your household income? Only $32,000 a year. Your cars are insanity yeah we have a nine thousand dollar loan on um on an xera and then a 22 000 loan on a ford with a 32 yeah with a 32 000 income that's smoking crack kiddo there's no way that car's got to go. Okay. But so I did my research on that as well. And we're under when it comes to that. So you're under what? So we, we, I was looking at selling it and

we are under $10,000 or negative $10,000 on a $22,000 car. Yeah. So we paid it six months ago, and we got it six months ago, $24,000. We brought it home, and I just looked up how much it would be on Kelly Blue Book, and it said it was $14,000. Dealer trade-in. Dealer trade-in? You looked at trade-in. You didn't look at retail sales. No, I looked at a cash offer a private sale offer okay something's wrong these numbers you there's no car that loses ten thousand dollars in

five or ten months on a twenty four thousand dollar vehicle loses half of its value what kind of piece of crap is this i don't i don't know and that's why what when that's just i did the math i was like oh my god yeah did you have negative equity in a car you rolled into this one no so we we got cash for our our old vehicle and we used that towards that vehicle what kind of car is this what is it i had a 2012 we have that towards that vehicle. What kind of car is this? What is it? I had a 2012 Ford. No, the one that is the $22,000 piece of garbage. What is that?

That's a Ford Explorer. Okay, your numbers are wrong. Something's wrong in the numbers, okay? That car is not. A Ford Explorer did not drop $10,000 in eight months unless you wrecked it. I mean, it just didn't. You're getting some bad numbers somewhere. You're putting something in the Kelley Blue Book wrong or something.

They're not that bad a car. So, yeah, you cannot survive with car payments, with car debt that is equal to your annual income. You should not have car debt. You should not have car debt, period, but you should not have cars that are more than 50% of your take-home pay. And yours is 100%

of your take-home pay. This is why you're starving to death. These are these stupid cars. You're way over on your cars. Something's got to give here, kiddo. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Adrian is in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Hey, Adrian, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, how are you?

Better than I deserve. What's up? So I had a few questions for you. My wife listens to you all the time. So we're trying to lower our debt, and I have a debt collector that I'm currently paying medical bills to. And I owe about $9,000 left. Okay, you're going to have to speak directly into your phone.

You're breaking up. Oh, sorry. It's okay. You owe a debt collector how much? About $9,000 left. Okay. On what? On medical?

Yeah, medical. Okay. And what's your household income it's uh about 60 to 65 000 a year between me and my wife okay all right and why have you been unable to pay them um well i've been paying them you know 250 a month yeah why have you been unable to pay them a thousand a month um well i also own three houses that... You're going to have to speak directly into your phone. I also have three houses that I'm trying to fix up that I recently acquired,

and they had back taxes and stuff like that that I had to pay and get caught up on. Are they for sale? No, they're not for sale. I was going to pick them up and maybe rent them out, I was thinking. Yeah. Well, you're broke, though. Well, that's why I'm asking.

I'm trying to get rid of this medical bill, and I've heard you say before that we could settle with them. Yeah, you probably can if you had some money to offer. I mean, you probably offer them 50 cents on the dollar. They'll probably take it. Be sure and get that in writing if you do that. But I would not recommend someone start buying properties to fix up and rent when you don't have the money to pay a $9,000 bill. You've gotten yourself in a pinch. You have no cash. So you need to get on a very tight budget and start living and managing the $65,000 income that

you have very tightly and very carefully. And use that to get some money together and get these bills cleaned up. And you probably need to flip a couple of these houses before you fix them up and just try to get out of them. Maybe you can make a little money in the process, I hope. That's what I would do. Thanks for the call. All right, Danny is with us in Austin, Texas. Hi, Danny, how are you? I'm good, Austin, Texas. Hi, Danny. How are you?

I'm good, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Well, I'm in a bit of a bad situation with my mother. I'm currently 28 years old, and she helped me take out some student loans, and it was time for me to go to school.

We had no savings for my college. And about $19,000 of that is strictly in her name in the form of Parent PLUS loan, or it was. I've paid out about half of it now. Our original agreement when we took it out was that she would pay half of the monthly payment every month, and that happened for one month until my stepdad found out and he didn't like that very much so she snuck some cash to me the next month and after that i've been pretty much on my own paying this loan wait a minute a parent plus loan is not in your name it's in her name yes sir okay so have you um have you uh your your agreement was that you were going to pay half and she was going to pay half

and you have already paid half. Yes, sir. Tell her it's hers. Tell her it's hers. Okay. It's in her name. I recently did that. She received some inheritance a large sum payout

from my grandparents recently passing and I had a discussion with her and it did not go well. I don't care. She received some inheritance, a large sum payout from my grandparents recently passing, and I had a discussion with her, and it did not go well. I don't care. Okay. Listen, you are taking emotional responsibility for somebody else's crap because your stepdad is a jerk. Did I miss something? No, sir.

Your mother took out a loan in your mother's name that your mother is responsible for morally with the agreement she made with you and legally to the bank. Am I missing something? No, sir. Okay. I'm not trying to be mean to you, but she's being mean to you. And they're throwing guilt trips at you like they're a travel agent for guilt trips. They are, and that's been my dilemma this whole time.

My husband says that we're done paying it. Your husband is exactly right. He's got a backbone. So here's how the conversation goes. Call and get mom and stepdad on the phone. Okay? Do they live in your area they do they live about 10 minutes away great the four of you sit down have a cup of coffee and it sounds like this mom we made an agreement you took out a loan in your name you were

responsible for half i was responsible for half morally I was responsible for half morally. I was responsible for the half legally, not at all. But I've paid my half. And so now, Mom, this is your loan. That was our agreement. If that upsets you, I'm sorry, but I'm holding you to the agreement you made with your daughter regarding her education. I'm not paying this. It's yours, Mom.

Have a good evening. Okay. Stand up and walk out. And if they flop in the floor and foam at the mouth, that's on them. It's not your fault. Honey, you didn't do anything wrong. They've been playing you like a fiddle. Your emotions have been torn up.

Your stomach's been in a knot. Your throat's been tight for five years over this. Am I wrong? No, you're not wrong. She's been beating the snot out of you emotionally with her erratic behavior. And your grown woman and your husband has said enough. And I'm with your husband. I'm on his team. Your mom and your stepdad are wrong, and your husband has said enough. And I'm with your husband. I'm on his team.

Your mom and your stepdad are wrong and they're out of control with the story you gave me. Yes, sir. So just be kind, but be very, very firm and very clear. You don't have to raise your voice. There's no cuss words involved. Mom and stepdad, I love you guys, and I know you don't understand this, and I know you don't like it, but that really has become irrelevant at this point. The agreement we made was that you were going to pay half.

I have already paid half. It's in your name. Here's the paperwork. I hope it works out for you. Okay. The good news is it's not your name and you're not trying to collect from them it's just it's just right there in her lap and if she doesn't pay it they're going to call her it's not your problem it's not going to be your problem it's her problem that's the beauty of this it's very clean the the downside is is that it's just going

to be a problem in the relationship but guess what there's already a problem in the relationship yes you're being abused and so i'm gonna send you a copy of a book called boundaries by dr henry cloud because your mom and your stepdad don't have any, and you're going to have to help them have some. And I will give you this from experience. When you set boundaries with people who don't want you to set boundaries, who want to cross over into your yard and have their dog poop in your yard, when they cross over the boundaries and then you tell them they can't do that anymore, they have to stay in their

own yard and take care of their own business, they get very angry. It's not unusual at all. So I do not expect this to end well on the short term. I think they're going to have a fit. But I'm past caring on your behalf. I agree with your husband. He's put up with this long enough. I would not give another dime to this.

And if you do, you need to see a coach or a counselor and get some help. Because you've been messed up by this situation. It's just horrible. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. So hold on, and Kelly's going to pick up, and we're going to send you a copy of the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud. You'll actually read the book and go, I know these people.

Yeah, it's in there. Hey, good luck with it, kiddo. But please stand your ground. You've done enough. You've done your part and then some. And you've put up with this far too long. So painful. Well, that puts this particular hour of the Dave Ramsey Show in the books.

Thanks to Zach Bennett filling in for James Childs. And, of course, Kelly Daniel, our associate producer and phone screener. I am Dave Ramsey, your host. And we will be back. This is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. Did you know you can now listen to The Dave Ramsey Show on Pandora and Spotify. For all the ways to watch and listen, check out our show page at daveramsey.com slash show.