The Ramsey Show - App - Should I Change Jobs for a Better Quality of Life? (Hour 2)

Episode Date: November 25, 2021

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I'm out. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Christy Wright, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, host of the Christy Wright Show, one of the Ramsey Network podcasts that is uber popular, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Jake starts us off in Garden City, Kansas.

Hey, Jake, how are you? I'm better than I deserve. Dave, how about yourself? Just the same, sir. Just the same. How can we help? I am 24 years young, and I've done a lot of dumb in my life. I'm a mechanic.

I've got a question on if I'm doing the right thing here. I've got almost $22,000 in debt on my tools, um, which I have to have to do my job. So I'm paying that off as quick as I can. Uh, I'm in a place right now that my house, I have two offers on it for, to where I can get out and get, uh, a fair amount of equity out of it. Right now I'm paying on it and I'm paying the PMI on it and all that. And I'm on a 30 year mortgage. I didn't get into it very smartly, but I have good equity in it. And for what I'm getting offered in this market, it is a very good deal. And I'm going, I found another place actually 30 minutes down the road in another town that would still allow me to get to work easily. And it is already a place that I have equity in.

And with the equity I'm pulling out of this place, would be able to put a significant down payment on it, get out of the PMI. I also have my pickup right now. I was upside down in it and and the market has gone up. I'm sorry. You're going to have to stop, Jake. What is it you need? When I sell my house, do I invest into another house if I can get good equity into it and get under the PMI, or do I use it to pay off credit card debt?

I've got $5,000 in credit card debt and some snap-on tool debt. Do I use that towards the debts there, or do I use that to get into another house that I can be paying on? How much are you going to get out of this house? Approximately $35,000, a little over $35,000. And you're 24 years old, and you're single? Single, but I have a seven-month-old son. Okay. And you make what a year?

I make about $75,000 to $78,000. Good for you. Okay. And you make what a year? I make about 75 to 78. Good for you. Okay. All right. And you got 22 in tools and how much other debt? 27 on my pickup, which I think I can sell and get a cheaper vehicle. And 5,000 in credit cards. Okay. So if you pay off the tools and the credit cards, you're renting right now? That would be correct if I did that. Yeah.

You sell the truck, and you build up your emergency fund, and then you build up a down payment, and that's what I would do. Yes. Yeah, no, I would not buy another house right now. Okay. And let me just tell you, from a business perspective, and knowing a tiny bit about your business, and one of my best friends was in the Snap-on business for a while, those guys are very, very good at what they do, which is selling you tools. And that line of I have to have these tools to make my living is partially true,

but it's not true of $22,000 worth. Some of that was bought because you just wanted one. And in your world, adding to that toolbox, unless it absolutely comes out of that toolbox and causes your income to go up more than the cost of that tool, sometime in the next 90 days is BS. Yes, sir. People in your world overbuy tools. Yes, sir. All the time.

It's not that you don't need good tools. A Snap-on's good tools. It's good quality stuff. But they will sell you a line that, well, you have to spend money to make money, and this is what you do your craft with, and all of those lines are technically true, but it causes you to buy a good 30% more than you need in most people in your business. And subcontractors do it in the construction business. Computer people do it.

People in the video world do it. They buy a bunch of crap, and they buy a bunch of equipment, and they spend all of their profits back out in equipment, and it's not stuff you have to have to do business. We've talked about this before, Dave. Even with women that i work with through business boutique there's an element of buying stuff whether it's equipment supplies whatever that we overbuy because it somehow justifies the business because it somehow makes us feel like this is real i'm really doing it i'm a real fill in the blank it's kind of like i use the example but when i needed to go needed to go buy a

suit to interview for my first job out of college, like I didn't have interview clothes. I just want to feel like I've got a new suit. I've got a new computer back. You don't need that to do your job. And so when you start looking at when you run your own business, that that money is coming out of your paycheck because it's taking away from the profitability of the business. Then you start thinking, how many tools do I really need to have? Is this going to ROI or can I get by with less and not justify the validity of the business with purchases? Because what justifies the validity of the business is money.

Yeah. So here's the thing. You got $22,000 worth in your box. You're making 78. You probably don't need any more for a while. Yeah. Yeah. Not going to make Mr. Snap-on very happy.

Yeah. But my goal is not to make him happy. My goal is to make you happy. Can he sell some back, do you think? No, but those guys are on a route, and so they'll swing by and see him every so often and sell him a new one. We got a new thing. We got a new thing. You got to have this thing.

You need this thing. Yeah, and here's what's happening with that. Look what you could potentially make with this. There's certain tools that a 70-year-old version of it will actually still work perfect. Right. Right. Other tools need to be brand new. Right.

And so, but you just have to be careful because that's the business that they're in, and they're very, very good at it. Well, and I would be willing, but there's an element of business analysis to this where you go, okay, they snap on tools, salesman guy comes by, and he's like, oh, we've got this new thing that does this new thing, and you go, I don't have a request for that. You know what I mean? Like, the requests that I have are oil changes, the brakes are bad, I need new, you know, rotors. Okay, you've got the tools for that.

Cool. Do get the tools for the things you actually use, not the new widget that someone's trying to sell you, because you don't have people coming in with that. It doesn't matter. Yeah, oftentimes that's very, very true. So be careful with that. It's all a morning yawn, Jake. But I think you're right.

You sell the house, you become debt-free. You sell the truck, you become debt-free. You sell the truck, you become debt-free. Get you a beater, finish your emergency fund up, then save your down payment. And that's probably a year to a two-year process for you right now from today. But during that two years, you're going to be so unbroke because you won't have any payments that it's going to be a wonderful place to be. And you're carrying more stress maybe even than you realize right now between the credit card, the tool debt, the truck, and the house. And when you step out of all of that and you're just a renter for a couple years and you say, okay, by the time I'm 26, I'll be back into a house.

And I'm paying a really good strong down payment. No PMI. And I won't have any debt. And it's completely different decision making than it is to doing it today. Yeah. And kind of what you're doing is you're cutting halfway through the thing. And I'm just saying, cut all the way through it. Yeah.

Cut all the way through it. Yeah. So good questions. Good question. Christy Wright, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. This is The Ramsey Show. Most people know me as the guy who did stupid with a lot of zeros on the end. I made my first million dollars in my 20s the wrong way and then went bankrupt. That's when I set out to learn God's ways of handling money,

and I developed the Ramsey Baby Steps. By following these steps, I became a millionaire again, and this time the right way. After three decades of guiding millions of others through the plan, the evidence is undeniable. If you follow the Baby Step steps, you will become a millionaire and get to live and give like no one else. And now I'm excited to share with you that I've written a new book

called Baby Steps Millionaires, and it's available for pre-order right now. You'll learn how ordinary people built extraordinary wealth and how you can too. I'll walk you through how to invest, build wealth, and bust through the barriers preventing you from becoming a millionaire. For those who are ready, it's game on. You can baby step your way to becoming a millionaire. Pre-order your copy today at Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today.

When it comes to making big money or big life moves, like buying a home or getting married or having a baby, it's likely the last thing on your mind to make sure you have the right insurance. I understand that. But big changes can be overwhelming. But I tell you what, if you have a problem and you didn't take care of the insurance adjustment to adjusting to the new life situation, bad idea. You buy a house, you don't put fire insurance on it,

burns two weeks later, it's a bad idea. Don't care if you're overwhelmed moving or not, you should have gotten the dadgum insurance in place. you kick your own butt right you know what i'm saying so if not having the time or energy is what's keeping you from getting the right coverage with your insurance then work with an endorsed local provider an elp insurance agent they're independent agents they will shop all the coverages get you the best price among a bunch of different companies and they do it all free of charge and you save money and you you the best price among a bunch of different companies, and they do it all free of charge, and you save money, and you get the best coverage.

Independent agent shops all around, and they do it all for free. Text insurance to 33789 to get connected with an ELP and let a pro help you find the coverage that fits your life at the best price. Text insurance to 33789. So, Christy, if you're 22 or you're 42, and you get really, really enthused about a new thing, it is human nature to want people that, you're doing something that's working for you.

You're winning because you got this thing, whatever it is. is human nature to want people that you're doing something that's working for you. You're winning because you got this thing, whatever it is. And then you want other people to win. You want other people to experience the success that you've had. It is natural to want to tell your brother to sell his car, to tell your mom and dad to get their act together. Our whole family's always been bad with money, and I found a guy who's good with money. It doesn't matter if you're 22 or you're 42.

The problem is people don't care that you're excited. And it's like if you lose a bunch of weight and you run around telling everybody they have to do what you did or you whatever. I mean, I'm glad you lost a bunch of weight. I lost 37 pounds this year, so I needed to. I got fat during COVID. And so but I haven't run around made everybody else do it. You know, now some people ask how I did it and what I did.

And I've shared that with them then. But I didn't go up to him and go, I'm looking at you and I'm thinking you need to lose some weight. I didn't do that. You know, that's kind of unappealing. It is. And it's interesting because I think everybody, regardless of your personality style, is resistant to someone telling them what to do. On an unsolicited advice, someone just coming up to them saying, hey, you need to sell your cart, regardless of if you're family members. The difference is, like you described, if someone shows an interest, hey, how'd you do that? Hey, how'd you pay off all your debt?

Hey, how'd you lose all that weight when they initiate because they're interested because they've seen your example they are so much more receptive to the path the plan the principles then someone just uninvited comes up to them tells hey you're doing it wrong here's what you need to do different the natural inclination is to dig your heels and go whoa whoa whoa whoa you don't know me it's not your business you know i missed the part where i asked regardless of who you you are, that's in the human nature to resist that. So how you do it, it matters as much as what you do. And so setting that example and letting people come to you and then being open to say, hey, here's what I did. Here's what worked for me.

This can work for you, too. Yeah. And what you can do is just start asking some questions. You can start telling your story. Tell your story. And, you know, we can use the weight loss example. You can start telling your story. Tell your story. And, you know, we can use the weight loss example. We can use the money example. You can go, hey, man, I just paid off $22,000 in debt.

Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. And people are going to go, oh, wow, that's kind of cool, man. Yeah. How did you do that? Yeah. And, well, you asked. That's right. See, don't ask.

That's right. Because now you're going to get the plan. So the whole thing is to trick them into asking., you asked. That's right. See, don't ask. That's right, because now you're going to get the plan. So the whole thing is to trick them into asking. There you go. Tell your story, and then they invite you into their story. Well, then you've earned a right to. You've earned a right to be heard. And I think that makes a big difference versus just going around pointing a finger,

casting blame. No one responds well to that. But when you set an example through your life, when you talk about what's's working for you you've earned the right to give that advice because you've actually lived it hey watch my debt free scream on youtube you know hey look here this is what i did man or you could just go you know i was really scared and i didn't know what to do man i got on this budget and just being on a plan i feel like i got a race and again all you're doing is telling your story and you keep telling your story until they ask how'd you do that that's right and if they never asked you can't say that's you should do this too because you get as soon as you cross

that line if they if they don't invite you to the party you are an uninvited guest at the party that's stinky that's nobody likes that that's rude nobody wants to be the uninvited guest and so and it's the the worst is when you try to do this with your parents because you have the powdered butt syndrome once someone has powdered your butt they don't want your opinion on money or sex and so i i you know i i have very accomplished and successful children i do not need their opinion unless i ask that's right but you know my son daniel rams and i were talking about a business thing the other day he was showing me this thing he's redoing in one of the area of the company and it was impressive and he wasn't telling me what i should do that wouldn't work no right but he was

what he was he was inviting me and i i did i stepped right into it i said that's pretty cool how are you doing that and then he gets to tell me instead of coming in going we need to change this around here and you don't know what you're doing and i'm like hey dude you weren't even a gleam in your mother's eye when i started this thing, so you need to shut up. That's right. But instead, he, oh, my gosh, you know. You've got to be strategic with it. He did. He was taught by a pro.

He completely suckered me in. But that's it. You tell your story, and that invites people to come in. And, you know, that's true of your faith. You want to talk about your Jesus? That's the most rude, offensive thing in the world is a bust up in somebody's face talking about Jesus. And you don't even have to know them. And they don't care what you think about Jesus. Instead, you start talking about what God did for you.

What was your story? That's right. This is what happened to me. I was here and now I'm here. I was there and here I'm in a different place now and you can you can tell your story all day and very few people are offended by you telling your own story you know i um i answer questions at the end of the christy wright show and i got a question i draw questions out of a fishbowl so i don't know what's in the what's in the bowl

and several weeks ago i drew a question out and the question was why did you choose jesus over other religions? That's how it was worded. And Dave, I was so caught off guard because normally it's like, how do I balance it all? Right? Like it's like these practical questions. I was so caught off guard, but I just, in that moment, just told my testimony. And it was that exact moment of going, I've been invited to share what this is to me and

what, how my life has been transformed by this Jesus I talk about. And because I was asked, I was able to I was able to share that in a different way. But you're right. It's setting the example where people want to ask, what's different about you? What's different about you? Yeah, that's why when somebody knocks on your door and forces a book in your face, that doesn't work. I mean, I saw something the other day on social media.

It's like, if one more person gives me a Dave Ramseysey book i'm gonna kill him you know i appreciate people buying my books but i kind of agree yeah you know an unsolicited give me a diet book what are you saying you know what's your point okay unsolicited give me a dave book what are you saying you say i'm a doofus yeah you probably are. But, you know, you just insulted somebody with that. Now, take back your time book might not be quite as bad. It might not be quite as bad. I always give you a hard time because when someone gives someone your book and says,

you have a problem, when someone gives you one of my books, like Business Boutique, it's like, I believe in you. See, I need to write a believe in you book. There you go. That's what I need to do. I don't know you got your brand very on point with what you're doing here dave what are you saying the brand's offensive what are you saying christy we all know our strengths dave we all know our strength i'll

know where we're supposed to be sitting oh my god that is if you want to convince someone particularly people you love we tend the closer we are are to them, the tackier we tend to be. We violate even just basic persuasion technique. You know, we just go, because it's my brother, I can say anything I want. Yeah, and you always talk about this motivation, similar to the topic of balance, but, you know, you get asked this all the time through Entree Leadership, how do I motivate my team? And you say you don't.

You hire motivated people. He even asked, how do I motivate my family? And you say you don't. You hire motivated people. He even asked, how do I motivate my family? You can't motivate other people. You really can't. No, but what you can do is put inspiration in front of them and they may hook their wagon to it. And you, my son, are the inspiration. That's it. That's the deal.

So tell your story. Even if it's... The story doesn't have to be over. You could be just starting the story, But tell your story. Don't wag your finger at them. That's your only shot, folks. This is The Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage, Brian and Andrea are with us. Hey, guys, how are you?

Doing great. Doing well. How are you? Better than I deserve. Where are you guys from? Atmore, Alabama. Atmore. Now where's Atmore? It's about an hour away from Mobile. Okay. Alright, wonderful. Well thanks for being in Nashville to do your debt-free scream.

How much have you paid off? $53,800. Good for you. Awesome. And how long did this take you? 24 months. Yay. And your range of income during that time? Starting at 50, now we're at 65. Cool. What do y'all do for a living?

I'm an accountant. And I'm a game attendant at Wind Creek Casino. Wonderful. Good to have you guys. Well, way to go, guys. How long y'all been married? Eight years. Okay.

All right. What kind of debt was the 54 000 it was uh my car a mattress our shed his truck and then we finally finished it off with the house you paid off the house and everything we did everything wow wow it's not much of a house but it's all ours now it's paid for by god there you go what's the house worth uh our guess is about 80 000 like i said it's not much but it's ours how old are you two i'm 27 and i'm 29 i gotta tell you you're way ahead yes you are you don't need to apologize for that house it's a paid for dadgum house that's awesome i'm so proud of y'all. Thank you. Well done. Okay, so you're married eight years, but something after six years, two years ago, changed.

Yeah, what happened? What lit the fuse on this? So I started it. It was funny because there was nothing that really happened. There was no tragic moment. I just kind of just got tired of stressing about the credit card bills being due and all the other bills being due. The accountant, huh? What am I going to pay?

What is he going to pay? Because we had separate bank accounts at the time. Oh, no. So a lot has changed since then. We combined incomes, combined bank accounts, and cut up the credit cards and did the whole shebang. Wow. So how did you get connected to us?

Google. Nice old Google. Okay. So that night you were just, that night you were doing the bills, you just got frustrated and Googled what? Well, it was actually March 3rd, 2019. And I'll be honest, I don't pray too often, but I did pray. I said, God, I don't know what it is.

I don't know what I need to do. I don't know what direction we need to take, but there's something that needs to happen with us financially. I need you to help guide me. And the next day I found Dave Ramsey. Wow. So I can quite say that you and your entire team have been in answer prayer. Your team is just wonderful.

Wow. Wow. Well, we're honored. That's amazing. We're honored. If God would use us, that makes us worth showing up. It sure did. Good for you guys.

Thank you. Well done. Very well done. I'm so proud of you. So y'all went from financing the shed, credit cards, putting everything on payments to paying When you're financing the shed. I know. I heard that. I caught that. You're financing everything. I know. But payments to paint off the house. When you're financing the shed. I know. I heard that.

I caught that. You're financing everything. I know. But then they paid off their house. Like, tell me about we're putting everything on debt to all the way to paint off the house. Like, y'all didn't mess around. Y'all went all in. Oh, no.

Yeah. We did the debt snowball and started from the smallest to largest. And then we were finally done with that where we're like, well, let's just go over the house. It's not much more. So let's just go ahead and finish it all off and be done with everything. Look at you. And just be completely debt free. Wow.

That's amazing. Yeah. And I also want to say that something that really has helped me personally is practicing minimalism. I know you had the minimalist on here every now and then. Absolutely. So that's something that I discovered a couple of years ago. And I took some time off of social media. I took a little break.

And I discovered minimalism and it becomes less of a burden when you start selling things because you don't really have to you really want to anyone that's never heard of minimalism i would highly recommend looking into it those guys are great guys they're wonderful there's just something peaceful about that whole process there's a contentment and there is the mental simplicity that gives you in life yeah you don't think of the effect that physical clutter has on your mental state your emotional state but it does they're actually the guest of the christy on the christy right show that aired this week just yesterday and just after talking to them when we recorded it i was like i went home and i

was like what can i cut out what can i get rid of it's so inspiring yeah right yeah yeah i told him i'm i'm kind of a maximal yeah i'm not surprised with that i have to but i think it's hard to hang out with those two and not go home and look at your closet and go half of this stuff needs to be thrown out 100 you haven't worn that you haven't worn that coat in 17 years you probably ought to get rid of it you aren't going to wear it this week no you don't need it just in case kind of show up, it's borderline hoarding that we all do. It really is. Well, I'm proud of you guys. Way to go, y'all.

So what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? I mean, you're not even 30. You've got a paid-for house. Communication. Big, big factor. The cash envelopes. Really doing the cash because our first trip to Sam's, I got the necessities like the frozen chicken breast that you were talking about earlier. I got all those necessities out of the way

and I wanted a little bit of extras. And for the first time, that humility sank in once I had to take something off of the register. So I put it back. Yeah, once that actually happened, that just hurt my pride a little bit. But it all worked out. Yeah, it turns out that nobody

at Sam's is going to run home and go, that woman had to put stuff back. You wouldn't believe it. Nobody cares. Nobody gives a rip. Nobody gives a rip. Except for me. As a matter of fact, most of us have been there.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's one person on the planet that cares about that, and it's you. That's it. Yeah, that's amazing. But it is embarrassing. It's a moment. I remember that feeling. And it's one thing talking about it, but then actually going through it, oh, it just hurts.

But it's so worth it once you actually switch over to the cash envelope. Well, and it's short term. It's short term that you're making those type of, that level of sacrifice to really, you know what I mean? And so then now it's like you have more money because all that money is not going to debt. Oh, yeah, it's not forever. And I also want to say, I'll let him talk eventually maybe. I want to say that no matter your income and let him talk eventually maybe i want to say that no matter your income and no matter what level of ratio from shovel to income uh anything you set

your mind to you can accomplish it because i was i was thinking we don't make that much we're not going to have this paid off in you know a couple years i would never thought that would happen i was that person and anyone that's listening you can do do it. It is possible. Just you have to stick with it. So, Brian, did she sell all your stuff? Yeah. Not all of it. Not all of it. Just most of it.

Yeah, stuff I didn't need. There you go. All right. There you go. That's fun. So very, very well done. So you Googled and you found the podcast or you found what with us? YouTube.

YouTube. I just, I really, I started watching YouTube videos and I learned everything from that. And I talked, I mean, I looked into FPU, but I was like, I don't even want to spend the money and all the information's on YouTube for free. So I just did that instead. And I really, I wanted to lead an FPU class. I attempted to, I signed up for it. A couple of people came in.

They unfortunately wouldn't, they couldn't, they couldn't stick with it. Some things happen in their life, which is fine, but I I signed up for it. A couple people came in. They unfortunately couldn't stick with it. Some things happened in their life, which is fine. But I would love to teach. I tried. I tried to teach an FPU class. Hopefully someone will hear this and want to do a class. There you go. I would love to. Well, that would be fun. We'd love to have you coordinate one. So well done, you guys.

How does it feel to get to keep your money now? It feels amazing. It feels incredible. So who were your biggest cheerleaders? Well, we have my grandparents over here today with us. They were, throughout the entire process, they were just cheering us on the entire time. Love it. They've always been frugal their entire lives. So the fact that we were being so cheap, they were big fans.

Grandpa, grandma power. Go, baby, go. Go. My mom, she tried to do the cash envelope many, many years ago. Yeah, a long time ago. But she's wonderful, too. She was a big cheerleader throughout all of this. So they made the road trip up here with you to Nashville.

Get to see Nashville and get to throw their shoulders back, stick out their chest and be proud of you, too. Yeah, they wanted to be here with us. Amen. Amen. Nothing better than that. And I had a buddy of mine at work who was also very supportive of it. I wasn't all in at first. It takes me a minute.

I'm open-minded, but it takes me a minute to actually get with the program. Sure, sure. I started talking to a buddy of mine named Danny at work. He actually was doing this. He explained to me that it's real worth it,

really worth it to do all this. It's going to be just absolutely amazing in the end when we're finished. Was he right? He was definitely right. All right, way to go, Danny. That's awesome. Well done.

Well, we got a copy of The Legacy Journey because that's the next chapter in your old story. Legacy is changed. Well done. You're young and you got a paid-for freaking house. It's awesome. You guys are amazing. Rock star heroes, man. Thank you. And a copy of the Total Money Makeover for you to give

away to somebody and help. You can be Danny to somebody. You can give them a Total Money Makeover and encourage them, get them going. And that's what it's for. So very, very cool. Brian and Andrea from Alabama. $54,000 paid off in 24 months, making $50,000 to $65,000. Count it

down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. 3, 2, 1. We a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free. Yeah. Love it. That's awesome. That's how it's done. Really cool.

Why I come down here. You and me, we're an answer to prayer. Hey, how about that. How about that? I like it. I like it. Thank you. Christy Wright, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Debbie is in Boise, Idaho. Hi, Debbie. Welcome to the Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Debbie is in Boise, Idaho. Hi, Debbie. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi. Thank you for taking my call.

Sure. What's up? I've got a few questions. One is, I've tried your program for probably five or six years now, trying to get my husband on board. I can't get him to look at a budget or even sit down and look at the bills. He's a, he's a spender. Uh, he's the free spirit and I'm the, um, nerd. Um, so that's the first thing. Um, so I've done things like refinance the house paid out,

save money and paid off credit cards and gotten rid of them all except for a couple. And then he's created more. So I feel like I'm just going backwards. How old is he? He's going to be 60, and I'm 55. How long have you all been married? 24 years. You know, I honestly expected you to say he was 26 because he's acting like a child.

Well, I know, and it's almost caused a divorce at one point. I can imagine. He came home with a $50,000 boat that he didn't consult with me. A $50,000 boat that he did not consult you on? Yep, he paid for it with our credit. Everything's credit. And what's concerning me is he's self-employed, and his income, he's not as physical as he used to be,

so our income is decreasing. So I'm stressed trying to get rid of the bills because I know we're getting older, and I'm just not able to get rid of the bills because I know we're getting older and I'm just not able to get rid of them when I turn around and he creates another card. I'll pay one off and he'll create another. Debbie, this is not a money problem. This is a marriage problem, a big marriage problem. The fact that he's not consulting with you, listening to you, considering what's important to you. This is, he does not value you by his actions right now and that is a major problem.

Yeah. This is not just about you're trying to pay off bills. Go ahead. Honey, you can't dig out the whole, I mean, you can't fill up the whole faster than he can dig it out. No.

Uh-uh. Yeah. And it doesn't matter how quick you pay it off if he continues to do this. And the level of disrespect you must feel when he does. It's not, again, it's not just about the spending, man. God, the level of disrespect that he's showing you. I've even gone so far as to not pay some bills so that he couldn't get more credit on certain bills because I was trying to pay off other bills.

You're working real hard not to address the real issue, aren't you? Yeah, I guess so. Okay. Do you guys happen to attend a church? I'm trying to, but I can't get him on board with that either. Yeah, okay. So here's what you need to do, Han. Okay, this is a lot more than Christy and I can fix in a radio call.

This is 24 years of misbehavior. And your husband, I'm his age. He's misbehaving. If one of my friends was treating his wife this way, I would be up in his grill. If one of my closest buddies, and I got about 10 or 15 guys I run with pretty tight, and if one of those guys was acting, the reason I run tight with them is they don't treat their wives this way. And I can tell you this. If I treated Sharon Ramsey this way, I'd have to be dealing with one mad hillbilly woman after about the first round.

It wouldn't have lasted 24 years. It lasted 24 minutes. Right. And that's why I think, you know. Do you work, Debbie? I do. Matter of fact, I'm, well, he's selfemployed, and I'm self-employed realtor. We just sold our business of 12 years and moved to a different state

and sold our house that would work more and bought to reduce that. Okay, let me cycle back. The reason I was asking if you were in church was not a spiritual statement. I'm trying to find somewhere you can get community to get somebody to talk with him. So what you need to do is you need to find a good faith-based marriage counselor as soon as possible. You're 20 years late coming to that meeting. He's not going to do that either but you go anyway because you need someone long form not a radio answer to begin to help you formulate conversations with him

because you're either going to live a miserable broke stress-filled life for the next 24 years or you're going to force his hand on this he's going to change or it's going to end one of the two things is going to happen here and you the problem is is you're really late and it's going to be very hard to get him to hear because he's never had to hear you've cried wolf so many times you've dug him out so many times i don't know if he's going to hear it or not but you need to get someone to teach you how crazy you're being treated this is cray cray it's wrong yeah no and the reason i asked if she worked because i thought well let me dig into this is there it does he think because he makes the money no that he can do whatever it doesn't it

doesn't matter why but you you have to address the real issue. This is not just a financial issue. This is a lack of respect. This is a lack of value. This is a lack of communication. Y'all are not a marriage. You're not a partnership. The things that make a marriage, y'all don't have.

Trust, communication, mutual respect. You don't have those things. You may have a marriage certificate, but you don't have those things. You may have a marriage certificate, but you don't have those things. And so a counselor can help you figure out what this looks like for you, what actions you can take. Begin to speak to him in a way that maybe he can hear you for the first time and give your marriage a shot. Because this is not going in a good direction, hon.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry you're dealing with it. It honestly makes me mad. There is not a financial technique in the world that will fix this situation. No. Not one. Andreas is with us in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Hey, Andreas, how are you? I'm doing well. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? I was looking for some career advice. Right now, I'm a livestock manager on a ranch, and I've come across an opportunity to move to a different position on a different outfit.

It's a lesser paying job with a lesser title, but a better culture, and I believe it would bring me a better home life. I have a three-year-old boy and I'm engaged to get married. And I'm just wondering what your thoughts were on that. How much less? Well, right now I make $36,000 in a salary, and then I usually get about $9,000 in tips and bonuses. And this new job would pay $28,800 in salary, but they offer a 10% match on the 401k and health insurance for the whole family. Okay. And what is the thing that's better for your three-year-old, the health insurance? No, right now my fiancée, she travels back and forth two and a half hours every week. So she spends three days two and a half hours away, her and my son.

So you wouldn't be separated from your family? Correct. Okay. All right. That's a good start. And you get married, and she makes what? She makes right around $20,000. So you're going to have a $46,000, $48,000 household income.

And I think that's a good step one. I would take it. But I wouldn't want you to be doing that 10 years from now. Right. We need a path for growth. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. In your income and in your career.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Maybe something self-employed, Christy. Yeah, and even figure out a sense of dignity and pride of the fact that you're making progress. So you don't feel like you've taken a step backwards and you've stayed there. Taking a step backwards so that you're making progress. So you don't feel like you've taken a step backwards and you've stayed there. You've taken a step backwards so that you can take a step forward. So just don't look at this as like,

we've arrived at this. This is a strategic move because of the reasons you've outlined, but you're going to continue to work on making more, figuring out what that path looks like. What's the wedding date, Andres? I'm sorry?

What's your wedding date? We don't have one yet. You do now, as soon as you move. Okay. Marry this girl. You had a baby with her, marry her, start your life. You want to get your family all together? Let's get everything right there at home,

and then that sets you up for both of you to succeed going into the future. Christy, good hour. Good hour, James and Kelly. This is The Ramsey Show. This is James Childs, producer of The Ramsey Show. Did you know The Ramsey Show is one of the most popular podcasts in the world? Subscribe or follow today wherever you listen to podcasts.