The Ramsey Show - App - Should I Find a Job Closer to Home? (Hour 2)

Episode Date: January 22, 2021

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, this is the Dave Ramsey Show, and it's where America hangs out to have the important conversations of life, money, relationships, work that matters deeply to you, getting out of debt, making more money,

healing in relationships, mental, emotional health. We're talking life. We're talking about every facet of it. I'm Ken Coleman, joined by my colleague, Dr. John Deloney, and we are what they call around here, Ramsey Personalities.

Dr. John Deloney hosts the Dr. John Deloney Show on the Ramsey Network. His website is johndeloney.com. I host the Ken Coleman Show. Yes, we know how creative those show titles are. We go all out. We spend hours and hours and hours and tens of dollars on those names. Dozens of dollars.

And I'm at kencoleman.com. But we're thrilled to be a part of this wonderful place called Ramsey Solutions. If you're new to the show, you'll see and hear us as we co-host with Dave on just about a weekly basis as we all roll through here. And we always enjoy it when we get to be together because we're not money personalities. You're focusing on relationships and mental and emotional health, and I'm focusing on purpose in your life and in your work and those things intertwine they do intertwine very closely and so the phones are blowing up so you've got a a toxic work situation toxic co-workers you have no idea what you want to do with your life you know what you want to do with your life you're not quite sure how to get there you've got some mental and emotional issues or family members that do

well all of that that's what we do are you and your wife maybe you discovered in 2020 you'll have different political views and now you can't even sit by each other on the couch really after these political attention calls man they're just yeah we'll take those apart and workplaces apart and churches apart come on man yeah let go. Let's figure it out. 888-825-5225 is the number, and here we go. Sean is up in Louisville, Kentucky. Sean, how can we help? Hi, Kenan.

John, how are you guys doing today? Well, we're living the dream. What can we do for you? I got a bit of a dilemma, and it's almost similar to the last caller. I'm in a job that I've been doing for 23 years, and it's become very toxic over the past probably year. And I've looked outside and had an offer for another job, and it's going to be about a $20,000 pay cut.

And I'm not sure if I should go for it and take it. A little background, my wife and I, we're on baby steps four, five, and six. Great. And we can afford the pay cut, but I'm not sure if I just need to basically suck it up and stay where I'm at and keep the big money that I'm making or take that leap. How much are you making now? I make about $85,000, and where I was offered, it's about $62,000, $65,000. And that's really, everywhere I've looked, that's what's going to happen.

It's going to be a pay cut. Is that a temporary situation? In other words... No. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. You tell me, is that going to eventually, like a year, year and a half, 18 months? I mean, what does the trajectory look like if you moved over to this new company? Eventually, it will go up throughout the years, but I don't believe that it will ever reach the potential of where I'm at currently.

Why is that? What is the work? Is it the same kind of work? In a sense, I'm a truck driver, and the truck driving that I do, I actually unload my truck physically. And this is going to be, and also I'm gone two nights a week from home, and so I'm going to be going to a job that's home, everyday, local, and a lot less physical work with it. And thus the difference in the pay scale.

Thus the difference, yes, correct. What do you not like about your current job? Just a lot of stuff like political stuff, like we can't deliver this know, we can't deliver at this time, we can't deliver at that time. You know, we just have to really watch our P's and Q's on, you know, a lot of things. And I just really just want to come in and do my job and go home. Okay, so let me challenge you for a second. Based on what you just said, Sean, we're missing something. I'm missing something that says that this thing

is super toxic because you've been there for 23 years and you said in the last year it's become more toxic and a guy who says to me well Ken I just want to come and do my job and go home feels like if you just do that you should be okay if you're not engaging in those conversations that are obnoxious

or whatever I guess what am I missing here because I think there's got to be a key deciding factor on how much longer you can put up with this toxicity. Because if we say no to this current situation that you've been offered, and we kick the can down the road, which I'm fine with, I haven't really decided where I'm at yet, you're going to have to confront leaving this place eventually, unless it just all of a sudden gets better. Do you understand where I'm at? Do you agree with that or disagree?

I do. I agree. So, you know, can you overcome this? Is this something that you can go, I'm going to expect this, and I'm going to deflect this? Or is it just something that's always going to be in your face, and this is only a matter of time? That I'm not sure of um just the things with covid everything's changed in this past year obviously and and things are making it to where actually i'm gone away from home more and more and more

and i think ultimately what i really want to do is have more home time with my family now we're on it now we got okay now we've gotten to what's really want to do is have more home time with my family. Now we're on it, man. Now we've gotten to what's really going on. So here's where I want to challenge you. I don't think that you have to take this current job, but if you guys can absorb the $20,000 and not make it super tight, there are other ways that you can kind of come in and go, well, is there a little side hustle that I've always wanted to mess around with that now that I'm home more and

I've got some more balance in my life that I could do that? That's one option. The other thing is for you to take this opportunity as a sign that it is time to leave. And I'm going to look for some other things where I am driving and I'm a really valuable employee for somebody because of all this experience of driving and unloading stuff, and I'm going to look for some better, more lucrative opportunities that don't have me on the road as a road warrior. I'm not sure you've exhausted all of your options yet.

Would you agree with that or disagree? I will agree. It's just I've come to the point, I guess, where I think, like you said, it's time for a change. And I'm just one person that is very scared of change. Well, but here's the deal. We don't have to make a change, Sean, until we've verified that it's actually a really good move. So no one's saying you've got to jump off a cliff. Whee!

That's only romantic in movies and stuff like that where they make this big, bold change, super scintillating and awesome and all that courage. Yeah, there's no background music, bro. Yeah, this is real life. So, Sean, I'm telling you to go find something else that you've got the talent to do and you can enjoy the work and you can make somewhere close to that $85,000, if not a little bit more, and not have to be a road warrior.

I don't think that what I'm suggesting is a needle in a haystack, and you don't think it is either. So then you go, well, what am I really afraid of? You're afraid of making a decision that hurts you financially and sets you back. Well, brother, you're in baby step four, five, and six. There's no chance of you doing that. That's fear lying to you. You're not going to do something dumb, so don't worry about doing something dumb.

Let's find something that you're going to step into. We go get qualified for it if we have to, and then we get the opportunity they offer to us, and we say, peace, I'm out over here, and we walk with a beautiful stride, shoulders back, head up into the next thing. None of that is scary. Don't move. More of your calls coming up. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. People all over the country are discovering a faith-based and budget-friendly way of meeting health care costs through Christian Health Care Ministries. Christian Health Care Ministries, or CHM, is a nonprofit organization that helps members

carry one another's burdens with healthcare expenses. And they have successfully shared each other's medical bills for nearly 40 years. See if CHM is right for you by visiting chministries.org. CHM is a proud sponsor of Dave Ramsey Live Events. The Dave Ramsey Show continues. I'm Ken Coleman, joined by my colleague, Dr. John Deloney, as we take your calls about life, relationships, mental health, relationship and emotional health. Working on purpose.

How many of you are just sick and tired of working at J-O-B? You don't like it. You're not even that very good at it. You're miserable. Well, life is too short to be miserable on Mondays and live for the weekend. We'll take your calls around all those things. We'll take your money calls as well. 888-825-5225.

Let's go to Pocatello, Idaho. One of my favorite places that I've never been to because I just like saying it. I can say it all day long. It's a phonetical playground. Where are you from? Pocatello. Hey, me too. I'd like to say that.

I'm from Pocatello. Yeah, that'd be fun to say just once. All right, let's see how Nick says it. Nick, how can we help? Hey, I'm doing great. How are you guys? We're having a blast, man. What's going on?

Hey, Nick, is there a Pocatello High School in Pocatello? If you can get us a couple of Pocatello High t-shirts and send them our way, I'd be grateful. You know what? This is a great point. What's the mascot of Pocatello High? I feel like it's... It just changed. It used to be the Indians. Oh, so it just changed. You can't do that anymore. Pocatello's coming around. Look at that.

What is it? What's the new one? I think it's the Thunder. I'm actually not from Pocatello. I'm from Utah. Oh, okay. Go for it, man. What's up? How can we help? Yeah, I'm in a really unique situation i'm really blessed to have a job that i love i'm a pilot i fly a route between salt lake and pocatello every day

okay my domicile is pocatello so in the eyes of my company i live up here but i live down in utah so i just commute on monday up here and i commute saturday back down down to Utah. So the time I'm up in Pocatello is the time I'm really supposed to be at home. So I have like eight, seven hours every day that I'm up here, but I just don't, well, Tuesday through Friday, I have about eight hours to, you know, be up here at home. But I was wondering what I could do to work. I had a retail job that I was working before like Christmas. and I did that, but then when the new year hit, that job ended because it was just seasonal work. I'm just kind of wondering what I could do.

I'm just looking for something to do and want to make some extra money. I'm a hard worker. I think this is fun. I think this is really fun. This, to me, is the blank canvas, Nick. Because I obviously want you to do your dream job and I think you're doing that. And outside of that, if we can get you in your sweet spot where you're doing something you're good at

and something you really enjoy doing, that creates a result that you go, you know what, that's pretty cool, man. I dig that. And I just want you doing it in Pocatello. That's all I care about. We know how you feel. That's fantastic, man. Yeah, you just want him to work for the gift shop at the local high school.

Anything Pocatello. That's what I'm rooting for, Nick. So, Nick, let's put this to the test. What's something that you've always wondered about, you'd love to do it, and because we've got this extra time during the day, during the week, and there's no pressure to perform and turn it into this big-time career, what's something you've always wondered about? Recently, I've been looking into coding,

and I just don't even know where to begin with with something like that well the first thing we have to do is we got to get qualified to code so do you know how to code no great so this is awesome because there might be another answer here nick but let's run this one out you've always thought about coding you want to code but you know what no idea where to start. Well, we've got to get qualified. And so we've got to find out what classes can I take. And there's all kinds of online cheap options. The Ken Coleman Show partners with an organization called Bethel Tech. You need to call Bethel Tech today, as soon as this call is over.

Say, hey, I just talked to Ken Coleman of the Dave Ramsey Show, and he tells me you guys got a program. It's really affordable. They'll let you cash flow it. And in less than nine months, they get you ready to be a full-time coding professional. And you don't even need that. But that's one option. That's just one. There are other many plethora of options out there where you can learn how to code.

So that's what you would do with that extra time right now is invest in yourself, become trained to be somebody who codes and then go, okay, what kind of coding work would I most like to do? What's available in Pocatello? And so now all of a sudden, we just start going that direction. We go, hey, I'm qualified and I'm here. This is how many hours a week I can do it. And if it's part-time, fine.

If it's a full-time gig that they allow you to do remote, that's perfect for you as well. But that's just one example of how you could step into something you've always wanted to do, and now it becomes a labor of love that also makes you some extra dough. Thoughts on that? Questions? No, I think it's great. Yeah, like you said, it's a blank canvas. So I think part of it's just overwhelming, even knowing where to start, to start because it's like wow there's so many things i could do and you know there's lots of things i've kind of wanted to experiment with like coding is one of them but it's just kind

of overwhelming like where to start well but again don't let it be overwhelming you're making it overwhelming what i just broke it down for you i make coding not so overwhelming yes or no yes because what did i do i simply took the unknown out of the equation john and i were just talking about this on the on the break when we as human beings don't know something that fear of the unknown is paralyzing it's the number one fear i think certainly in the space that i'm in where people go oh and it's like wait a second if i go get qualified while i'm getting qualified the people that are qualifying me are going to tell me all the different types of jobs that I'm just now getting qualified for, Nick. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. They give you a catalog, if you will, to sift through. Then you

actually, while you're getting qualified, guess what you're doing? It's stage three of my seven stages to meaningful work. Stage one is get clear. You're clear. Coding is an option. It might be another one. Two or three, you said. Stage two is get qualified to do that work. Stage three is I'm getting connected. While I'm getting qualified, John, I can be in stage two and stage three at the same time. I'm making connections. I'm meeting people who are in coding and Pocatello. I mean, companies that are doing it.

I'm walking in going, hey, look, I got a full-time job. I'm a big shot pilot. If I love coding, I'm looking for some extra work. 20, 25 hours. I'm getting qualified right now. Just wanted to say hi real quick. If you ever need somebody, a little remote work, I'm your guy. I gotcha. Hey, Nick, here's another thing to keep in

your back pocket. And I don't talk about this, but I don't think I've ever talked about this on the show. We talk a lot about I went to a lot of grad school, didn't have a lot of friends, and so I've got two big fancy degrees. I also started a MFT program in my early 20s. i got in and i dropped it i started a theology program took some classes wasn't my thing didn't dig it human development

family studies i wanted to learn how um people grew and how families grew together i just i didn't i didn't dig it one of my things i So I took some classes and it wasn't for me. The temptation here, Nick, is to feel like you have to pick the one or it's over. No, that's right. And then here I am 20 years later, 15 years later. I love what I'm doing, man. It's just silly. I got their credentials and I was dumb enough to stick my nose in a bunch of different things and find out which ones I liked, which ones I didn't.

So you try a coding class, you don't like it? Yeah. I'm not into coding, man. I thought I was. I checked it out. It's not for me. You still got a paycheck. You're still rocking Pocatello.

And then you go on to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing, right? It's keeping those options open, man. Yeah. And the same process, Nick, if you've got other ideas, run it out. What would I need to do to get qualified to do those things? How much is that going to cost me? How long is that going to take? And now you've got yourself another plan. And that's how

that works. And by the way, John and I are dead serious. If you want to run by the old high school there and get us a... I'd like a hoodie. You want the t-shirt? T-shirt's good for me. And I'll send you a check for the cost of the hoodie. I'm a big hoodie fan. Yeah, we'll hook you up, man. The Pocatello High School Thunder. Make it happen, Nick. If I rocked one of those in downtown Franklin, I'd be the only one.

The only one. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, I like that a lot. You know, John, we were talking about that. I want to expound on this a little bit, this idea of the fear of the unknown. I talk about it from a practical standpoint. Here's how you get over it. We dive into the unknown, but talk about the psychology behind that.

Why is it so gripping? I think one of the core principles that everyone navigates and stumbles through life is I want to be fully known. I want you to know me and see me. And I want you to love me. And we hedge the front end of that because we're scared of the second part of that. I'm not going to really tell you what I think about this. I'm not going to tell you my true fears because I'm nervous you're not going to love me. So I'm going to go halfway. I'm going to tell you most things.

And I talk to couples who have been married for decades, and they don't fully talk to each other. Because if I go all in, man, that's a vulnerability level I'm not comfortable with. And so they don't. But the problem with that is the only way you can truly ever be captivated and loved is by being all in. And there's that fear. And it's innate in us that we want to be loved and we're scared. And so we hold back and we just stumble, stumble, stumble. You have to say, I'm going to just go because every relationship, every job, every move is a risk.

Every marriage is a risk. Having a kid is a risk. Every kid is a risk every relationship is a risk and it's going to hurt you're going to have times when you you weep and it's and it's hard and there's nothing richer and more important for our lives than to be connected and be in relationship with other people period it's all a risk that's right you got to go man you just got to jump and go all right right. Hey, don't move. More of your calls, your big live questions coming up. This is the Dave Ramsey Show continues. I'm Ken Coleman, joined by Dr. John Deloney.

We're Ramsey Personnel. We also host shows named after us. The Dr. John Deloney Show. The Ken Coleman Show. Yes, we know how creative those names are, but they are designed to help you, and they do. If you want to check out more about what John is doing in the show, you need to check him out on YouTube and wherever you listen to podcasts. And the website is?

www.johndeloney.com. Do you know you don't have to say www anymore? You're aware that everybody on the planet knows that if you just say kencolman.com, they know that, and by the way, you don't even actually have to type that in. I'm going to show you something. Speak it now? Yeah.

We're just going to do this real quick. So see here, I'm in a web window, and I'm just going to type in Ken, and look at that. I didn't have to do any www. So the next time somebody asks you to promote your website, you don't have to say... You and your little magic box over here can do whatever y'all want to do. All this stuff. I just know that that's funny that you still did the W-W-W. Is that because you're from Texas and you just like to say it that way?

No, people think I'm playing. I don't like spending time in front of these magic boxes. Okay. Well, that's consistent. The www.fantasylife.com on the social medias. Well, it's consistent with who you are. All right. Well, you've got to check out the Dr. John Delaney show. It's great, fantastic stuff. Also, check out the Ken Coleman show as well. And it's www.kencoleman.com.

Thank you. That's great. For everybody that's over 65, they're very grateful that you just shared that information with them. Type in a typewriter. 888-825- 5225 is the number. Let's go to Christian, who joins us in Denver, Colorado. Christian, how can we help?

Hi, guys. It's an absolute honor to talk to you guys. I really appreciate you taking my call. You bet. How can we help? Sorry, I'm nervous. Oh, don't be. I kind of taking my call. You bet. How can we help? All right. Sorry, I'm nervous. Oh, don't be. So I kind of have a question. Excuse me.

That kind of touches on all you guys' Ramsey personality questions. So long story short, I found out about Dave Ramsey and you guys about two years ago. Went gazelle and sold my first time Chevy truck that I absolutely loved and saved 550 bucks a month. And then, of course, 2020 happens. And I know 2020 was rough on everybody, but for me in particular, it about destroyed me mentally. Long story short, I have about $75,000 in debt. And I have a three75,000 in debt. And I have a three-year-old and a one-year-old.

And we just found out that we're having twins. So I'm getting a little emotional here. Sure. But, yeah, so I'm just looking for guidance on where to go and what to do next and some wisdom. It's in 2020. Are you married, man? Yes. Okay.

Happily? Y'all doing do okay but yeah very happily we already said we just found out having twins so they're gonna be our third and fourth kids and i'm pretty terrified and excited but um yeah so in 2020 i got a lot i got fired from an oil and gas job um early early january because of covid and government restrictions and all that crap. Found another job and got fired from that because my dad, sorry, my dad passed away from ALS, with Garrett's disease, in February 2020. And, yeah, so anyways, and then I totaled my car and all I said, just life. But so I'm looking to see where I should go next in the baby steps, especially with the twins coming on baby step two.

So I just don't know what to do. Are you employed right now? I am, yeah. I got a job after unemployment at the post office, USPS, which is awesome. I mean, I'm working like 70, 80 hours a week. What's your income right now? Well, the holiday season, which was, I mean, it wasn't really a slow season because of COVID with the post office,

but during the holiday season, which kind of sort of just ended, I was working like 80 hours a week. Now I'm still 65, 70 hours a week. How much are you making? Give me a ballpark idea what your monthly income is. Well, so my, we just switched over to my insurance. So after that's taken out, like I said, depending on if I'm working 60 or 70 hours a week,

it's roughly about $2,200 a paycheck twice a month. Okay. That's your take home? Yeah. Okay, good. All my wife's paycheck as of now goes to to she works at a daycare where both our two little kids go. So pretty much even with half off daycare, she gets like less than $200 a month paycheck. Hey, so listen, you walked us through a couple of things, and then you just tossed aside and said, hey, that's just life. Let's just move on. And I want to stop there for a second.

You've got to pause, brother, and grieve this. You lost your old man. I could tell in your voice that you love that guy. You wanted him to see these twins, and he's not going to. And don't gloss that over, man. Okay? His memory is powerful and important to you and he's going to miss an important thing

and that's heartbreaking and if you just blow by that man your body will not let you forget that it will haunt you you got fired and then you got up you dusted yourself off and you got fired again

and you got up and you dusted yourself off and you climbed back again and so this has and you dusted yourself off and you climbed back again and so this has been an ugly gnarly season of loss this isn't just life, it is, it happens but don't go comparing yourself to other people look in the mirror and say brother this year

sucked, it was hard and then when you have a season of grieving which you have to have you have to have, you have to have it, and you've got to do it with other people. You've got to get a guy or two in your life that you can be as open as you're being to two strangers on the radio right now that will sit there with you. Then you're going to start making meaning of this stuff on the back end.

And then you know what's going to happen? You're going to realize, dude, I found out I'm six inches taller than I thought I was. I got knocked down twice and I got back up again. I buried my old man and I became a father. I doubled my child load, right? And those kids are going to scare the crap out of you and they're

going to be the greatest blessing all in the same thing because that's what kids are, right? Yeah. And y'all are grinding and accomplishing so much good stuff, and it just feels so heavy because you've got to sit down and just absorb and feel this for a season, okay? Yeah, I feel like I haven't had a chance to breathe or do anything. Just work, work, work.

You're right. You're right. And, hey, you know what? Sometimes you've got to do that. You've got mouths to feed. You are a man of character and perseverance and integrity. You're right. But if you don't stop, your body will stop you.

So, Christian, here's the deal. Your baby steps don't change. None of this changes. So you've got $75,000 in debt, and so you're through baby step one, and so you and your wife have got to sit down and you do need to grieve. And, you know, maybe you take a week where you're not going to work those crazy hours and you just get some time to breathe and begin the healing process like John said. But I've got to tell you something.

I want you to understand that the fear you're feeling, while it's natural, I'm telling you it's not real. You can do this. And if your wife has got to say, you know what, I'm going to have to get a different job to where the money I'm making, it all doesn't go to the daycare. And what else can she do? And what can we do to say, all right, we're going to get gazelle and tents together. And it's not all on you working 70 or 80 hours. Okay. But you're going to work the baby steps exactly the way we teach you.

You're in baby step two. And so we're going to incrementally, we're going to be disciplined. We're going to keep going at this. We're going to work the baby steps exactly the way we teach them. You're in baby step two, and so we're going to incrementally, we're going to be disciplined, we're going to keep going at this, we're going to get gazelle intense, and we're going to knock that debt out. And you guys will be able to do this, but you need more income. Because here's the reality. I got three kids, and I know that when we went from one to two, that was a big adjustment, but two to three wasn't really that big a deal.

I know you got twins, and I know that's intimidating. intimidating but listen you guys are man-to-man defense right now anyway you know what to do there's nothing new coming at you per se but you've just got to double down and go all right you gotta go to zone now right that's it now well they're in the power play the kids are in the power play man you're one man down uh but you're not the first couple to have to do that and i believe believe you guys are really, really strong. And you know what I'm looking at that really impresses me about you, Christian? Yes. Is that you went through a tremendous amount of pain last year,

and yet you're still standing, brother. You're still standing. And there's no shame in pain. In fact, there's coming a day, Christian, where you're going to rub your finger over those scars like I got on my hand right here where I got 15 stitches. I can remember

how I got that scar. It was painful. But John, it healed. That's right. I can touch that scar and I don't wince. Christian, I want you to sit down this weekend and I want you to write your dad a letter. Tell him that you're scared. Tell him that you miss him.

Tell him that you wish you could meet these boys. Tell him that you'll love him and that you'll see him again. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality and host of the Ken Coleman Show on the Ramsey Solutions Network. I'm joined by my colleague, Dr. John Deloney, host of the Dr. John Deloney Show, also a part of the Ramsey Solutions Network. We're here taking your calls.

I want to talk about something that's really, really important because we get this call every day here on the Dave Ramsey Show. People looking to buy their first home. When do I buy the first home? What's the financial implications of this? So if that's you and you're ready to buy your first home, we want to make sure that you know now is a great time if you're financially ready due to the low mortgage interest rates.

So keep in mind a lot of other buyers out there hoping to get that first home or upgrade with the low rate. And so it's going to be competitive. So you need a top real estate agent in your area like one of our endorsed local providers or ELPs. Our ELP agents bring years of success and experience to the table. They listen to your needs, answer your questions, and they're going to be committed to making sure your first home is a blessing for many, many years. If you're looking for that kind of an agent, go to DaveRamsey.com slash agents and find a trusted agent near you.

That's DaveRamsey.com slash agents. And, Ken, I always like to just put it out there. Yes, we sell stuff here. That's how we pay our bills. But I personally used one of those ELP real estate agents, and it was phenomenal. It was an extraordinary experience. Well, this is true of our entire endorsed local provider program. Those are folks we use.

We vet these folks tremendously. And so if you, the people, don't have a good experience with those folks, you tell us and we kick them out. Right. And so it really is a trusted network. And to have somebody that knows you're part of the Ramsey tribe and that they're going to treat you with just tremendous, tremendous care, that's the way to go. Hey, the phone number to jump in is 888-825-5225. Let's go to Lisa next. And she is joining us in Denver, Colorado.

Lisa, how can we help? Hi, thanks for taking my call. I had a question. Some bad things happened to me in 2020, and I'm ready for a change. My husband and I are in a good place financially. I don't want to mess that up by, you know, we're considering moving to California. It gives me a lot of pause because everybody's leaving California. California has some tax things on the horizon that scare me.

So I just want to make sure I'm make sure that A, we can afford it, and I'm not doing something that's going to set me up for failure. Why do you want to move to California? Because the way you couched this entire question is I had some bad things happen to me, and it kind of feels like the bad things happen, and we want to get out of our current zip code. Is that what's going on, and then what do you feel comfortable telling me about that? I was physically attacked.

I'm in a city where, like, murders are happening in the park down the street. Oh, my goodness. You know, it's just become. Yeah. Well, that answers it. It's not liberal. It's progressive. Yeah.

And the trauma associated with that. It's crazy. Yeah. Well, that answers it. It's not liberal. It's progressive. Yeah. And the trauma associated with that. It's crazy. Yeah. I don't have a lot of family, so place is really important to me. I feel at home in a place that I, sorry, if you ask me that question, I was going to start to cry. I know. You're good. You're good.

It's okay. It's okay. Because we need to understand your why, why California. And then what we do is we go, okay, what has to be true to make that happen? Because everything you're bringing up is all legitimate and a legitimate concern. So where in California are you thinking? Santa Barbara. Yeah, beautiful place. And why Santa Barbara?

I have history there. I spent part of my life growing up there. The other part of this is we can move overseas to some pretty fantastic places. But my husband's work from home now, and his company is based in California. And just with the time differences, he doesn't feel he would be productive. Like on Zoom calls and stuff, he doesn't feel he would be productive. Like on Zoom calls and stuff, he was working in the middle of the night. Let me hop in real quick.

Hey, so Lisa, when was this traumatic event? When was this? October. Okay. But, you know, by a couple, I mean, I just don't, it's just you can't walk down the street here without seeing drug use anymore. Sure. Or, you know. Hey, listen, you don't have to prove, you don't have to convince us, right?

I can hear it in your voice. You're ready to go. Okay. What I want you to do is to, you've got to find a place to go, and if California's the place, Ken's going to walk you through the transition and all that. What I'm going to tell you is going to sound insensitive, and I want you to hear my heart as I'm telling you this, okay?

Wherever you move, Lisa's going to go there too. Yeah, I know. Okay? I think part of the moving is the healing is if it would heal me and what i'm telling you i don't feel safe it it won't okay it will keep you safer it won't heal you you're gonna have to confront the the the lack of safety you're gonna have to confront that trauma you're gonna have to do that work. And through connection with your husband, through relationships, probably through a therapist, and probably go get a professional to walk you through some of this, a change of place will provide you some relief, but it won't heal you. And that's why I tell you, wherever you go,

you're going with you. And so I do want you to find a place where you can transition to, Ken Walker, through that. Yeah, so here's the deal. Your husband, he's working from home, and his company is in California, so he's already got a job, and it's a simple move for him, so no interruption in income. Am I assuming correctly? Yeah, and I would be able to transition as well, even though I work with the public, and we make around $200,000 a year.

Oh, well, sweetheart. Okay, great news. Okay, California is more expensive, but on a household income of $200,000, you guys aren't going to struggle. So I want to relieve you on that. But what you can do, just so you can see what the cost of living is really going to look like, you guys can actually look in Santa Barbara and surrounding areas, you know, and it's like getting out the old realtor.com. It's one of my favorite websites. And you just kind of look at it. You go, okay, what does housing look like? Do real math. Do

real math with rental costs plus a purchasing situation based on your home situation. We go, okay, this is what we're really looking like. This is what a cost of living for our home is going to look like. Then we go, all right, let's call. Let's go to DaveRamsey.com and let's find a couple of tax ELPs out in the Los Angeles area and call them and go, hey, I'm a Dave Ramsey show listener. You're a tax ELP. Can you walk me through the tax changes that I'm hearing about? And they'll be able to because they're experts in California on state taxes. They can tell you what you guys are looking at. You can tell them what you did

last year, your W-2s, and kind of walk through that, and you're going to get a really good picture. And so, Lisa, I got to tell you, all of your concerns are valid, but you can go get real answers to plug into a real budget and go, oh, this is what it's actually going to cost us. This is where we might have to tighten, or this is where, you know, maybe we just make a different decision and live a little bit differently in the type of home out there. But all of that is easily acquired information. Are you tracking with me? Yeah.

I mean, we own a home outright, and we have no debt. So we'd be able to put like $750,000. Oh, my gosh, Lisa. You can do whatever you want. Oh, I knew you were in good shape. I didn't know you were in that good of shape. You're good. Well, and we have, when we move, we'll have about $1.1 million saved.

But, I mean, I see really wealthy people leaving California just terrified of what's coming down the pipeline. Well, but Lisa, Lisa, that's all real. And that's a part of the equation. You have to weigh that. Like, John and I can't tell you, ah, forget what those people are thinking. No, they're leaving for a reason. They're leaving because of the higher taxes and because of a lot of things. And I'm just going to be really honest with you.

You need to do your homework. Go read the LA Times. Go watch the local news. I mean, dig. I mean, there's a lot of stuff going on in Los Angeles right now that didn't look like this a year and a half ago. And I don't think, Lisa, I don't think you want to go to California.

I think you have some good memories there and it feels like a safe home base. You just want to escape Denver. You want to get out of Denver. I'd start looking around at other places that may be warm. I think the whole nation's open to escape Denver. You want to get out of Denver. I'd start looking around at other places that may be warm. I think the whole nation's open to you guys. Be a fun date night. Let's just dream.

Let's discover together. Let's get a laptop out. Oh, man. A couple glasses of wine and go, where would we want to go? Where could we go with this kind of money? A million dollars in Kansas. Hello. Come on, man.

Come on. Man, we're talking country club. You know what I'm saying, John. Yes. All right. I'm not a country club guy, but yes. Lisa, we're sorry for you, but you're going to be okay. Hey, I want to say a big thanks to my colleague, Dr. John Deloney.

I want to say thanks to our producer, James Childs. Our associate producer today, Zach Bennett. And you, America, this is The Dave Ramsey Show. This is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. Once again, you made The Dave Ramsey Show one of the top four most popular podcasts last year. To get your daily dose of motivation and inspiration from the Ramsey Network, subscribe or follow today wherever you listen to podcasts.