The Ramsey Show - App - Should I Pay Off My Boyfriend’s Debt? (Hour 3)

Episode Date: April 11, 2023

Dave Ramsey & Jade Warshaw answer your questions and discuss: Renting vs. buying a home, "Should I pay off my boyfriend's debt?" "Does it make sense to retire outside the US?" "When should I get term life insurance?"  from the blog: What Is Term Life Insurance? Intensity vs. intentionality. Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3cEP4n6 Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the pods of Moving and Storage Studios, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. This is The Ramsey Show. The phone number is 888-825-5225.

Jade Warshaw, Ramsey personality, is my co-host. Nate is in Baltimore. Hi, Nate. How are you? Hey, Dave. Jade, how are you guys? Better than we deserve. What's up?

Oh, great. Glad to hear that. I'm calling because my wife and I just recently, very recently, got out of debt after a long journey here. And we're wondering if we should continue to rent and remain debt-free, or if we should, would you recommend us going and buying a house that we've been wanting for a long time? And if so, are you cool with us spending $800K on it because the housing prices here in Maryland are through the roof and the kind of house we want is sort of in that range? And then in addition, if we buy, what should we work on next?

Is it the mortgage or what would you recommend? I mean, are you guys, it sounds like you kind of have been, are you a listener of our steps? It sounds like you've been walking through the steps. You're out of baby step two. Do you have three to six months saved of expenses? We do. Okay, that's good. All right. Have you worked on a down payment separate from that three to six months? Yeah, so our down payment is going to be, and the three to six months is all lumped into what we obtained from the sale of our house. That's kind of how we finished off our day. It's all lumped in from, sorry, I missed that last part. The sale of his house. Oh, okay. So how much money is in your account right now? About $160,000. Okay. How much of that is your...

How much of that should be your rainy day fund? Yeah, I didn't do the math on that. Okay, three to six months of your monthly expenses. What's your household income? So we're $280,000. Okay. Probably three to six months of expenses might be like $40,000. You set that aside and never touch it.

It's just for emergencies. Okay. You said you had 160 in there, so that leaves 120 to put down. Did I do that right? That's right. Okay. And you make really, really good money. Congratulations.

And the house you sold, it sold for how much? $380,000. Okay. Congratulations. And so if we, and the house you sold, sold for how much? $380,000. Okay. So you're doubling house, going from $400,000 to $800,000. Yeah. Okay. Which also tells me that there are $400,000 houses in Baltimore. That's good.

Oh, I said you would say that. Just for anyone wondering. Yeah. No. Just in case I just you know just in case i ever hear any rationalizing language coming out of you again however i think you can actually afford an 800 000 house with the guidelines that we use yeah so you know the way we teach is we want you we don't want your payment to be any more than 25 of your take home and i mean that's

everything included we're talking about your taxes on your insurance. On a 15 year. So put down $120,000 on $800,000. That's going to put us at $680,000. The payment on a 15 year fixed that is no more than a fourth of your take home pay, we are okay with, with the goal then of putting 15% of your income into retirement and starting with any other income you can get your hands on. Let's go ahead and pay that house off in the next few years and make that part of your wonderful wealth building plan. And Nate, there's a great calculator we have. It's called how much home can I afford? And you can really put the numbers in there and see it and play around with that because there's you can probably afford 800,000 dollars. You can afford a $680,000 mortgage making 280 with the numbers we're talking about

okay exciting you can do that i mean because you're making is this money is this income stable yes it's stable good okay yeah you did great man you're killing it so yeah you the numbers will work but you ought to run them out for yourself to be sure the point of this all is a 15 year fixed you can get paid off in eight or ten uh and where your payment is only a fourth of your take-home pay that gives you all kinds of wiggle room to make sure your investing is happening the next car you pay for in cash the next vacation you pay for in cash and by the way this year christmas will be in december and you pay that in cash so stuff doesn't sneak up on you you leave room in your budget to be able to pay cash for things

so there's no future debt sneaking up on you because you became house poor. Right. And that's the whole reason for this formula. But I think you're in good shape. I think you're able to do it. That's exciting. That's really exciting stuff. Very well.

Cool. Susie is next up in San Antonio. Hi, Susie. How are you? Hi. Hello, hello. I cannot believe i'm on here well we're glad you're here how can we help you all the time yes um so i just probably had like two questions should i help my boyfriend pay off his debt i know you're very against that we're not no

no let me get i thought you said you listened to this show. I listened to you for, I mean, I know, I know, I hear. But let me give you a little background. No. We've been together. Okay, well, let me. No. We've been together for about six years.

I have a son, and we've been living together for that amount of time. We bought land together. I'm sorry, how old? We paid it off. I am 30. No, how old is the boy? He is 31. How old is your son with this man? He is six.

He is six years old. Okay. So why aren't we married? We've been together for about five years. Why aren't we married? I know we're doing everything backwards. We plan on, we're not going to have this huge wedding. We're just going to probably go to the courthouse and then go to Friday.

I mean, I wish we could go Friday. It's been six years. Painter, get off the ladder. If you get married on Friday, you can pay off his debt on Friday. That's true. That's true. Well, the reason why is because we're trying to save up for our future home. Being married does not prohibit you from saving.

Look, all of this... It causes you to save. Yes. You're talking about good... What you're talking about are good ideas, but they need to be done the correct way. All right, you guys? Right. You're saving up for a house.

Right now, you're putting aside money. He's putting aside money. There's no house until you get married right now. You're trying to pay off debt. He's paying off his debt. You're paying off your debt until you get married. And I know that it feels like you're already married because you got a kid and you're probably living together and all these things. But legally, that's not the case. You're completely leaving yourself vulnerable. I love you too much to do that it's um if you were my little sister i would say don't pay this guy's bills unless right you're married to him and i think you i think you're already married i think you're already married

and everything except legal right basically i mean so you need to just do it. Put the bills on everything. So do it. I'm debt-free. I've paid off everything, so I know if I help him, we can finish by the end of December. Friday, Susie. Friday. Hey, what's stopping it? Is it you or is it him or is it both? No, I think it's him.

I think it's mainly because he doesn't have the money to give me, like to give me the ring or the wedding or whatever. He gave you a kid. I know, right? No, this actually isn't his. It's not his kid. He's the stepfather. Yes. I thought you said you've been together that long. This guy's a keeper. He's raising somebody else's kid. Rope him. Friday. But don't pay off that debt before. Don't you write checks on him.

No, you do not pay other people's bills until you're married. You will get burned. You'll change the tone, the tenor, the feel of the relationship. If you want to screw up a friendship, loan somebody a bunch of money. Messes up everything. Don't do it. Go get married Friday and solve this. Hey, you guys, health insurance costs are only moving one way, and that way isn't down. And if higher costs aren't enough, the wait times to see your doctor are longer, and it's harder than ever to get anything approved through the

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and for them when they experience a medical event. So listen, y'all, there's no better way to take care of health care costs. CHM programs start as low as $98 a month. So learn more today and join at chministries.'re doing here at the Ramsey Event Center in May. Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs and I have, over the last two or three years, had a lot of wonderful conversations and become friends. We have this, both have a love affair with hard work work ethic persistence perseverance so we know that in today's crazy world small business owners are facing setbacks everywhere they turn since 2021 we've seen four million people a month leave their jobs political economist nick eberstadt tells us there are seven million able-bodied males

my copy says men but i'm going to call them males because they're able-bodied males opting to sit at home being supported by someone else instead of working they are not in the unemployment statistics because they're not actively seeking employment. So why are people giving up on work? There's this drift to mediocrity that is plaguing America right now because people aren't finding meaning in their work because socialism and this idea that someone owes me something, a participation trophy is on the rise. Our government told us, told some of you that you are not essential. I don't know of any more demeaning, dignity-stealing phrase that we've come up with than you are not essential.

And decades of bad leadership, bad government, decreased engagement, quiet quitting, the great resignation. This is chaos, people. Productivity is down. Complacency is at an all-time high. And small business owners are stuck in the middle of it all. They're trying to hire in a market where there's just very few hardworking people looking for a job. And they don't know how to move forward without a team to charge the gates of hell with them. But the antidote to fear is hope.

And we need a healthy dose of hope. So here's what we're going to do. On Thursday, May the 4th, I'm teaming up with Mike Rowe and five best-selling authors and experts on the state of work in America today. We're going to address this labor crisis head-on. And we're going to get business leaders solutions for how to find and hire the right people in this environment. Right here at Ramsey, we're going to do this at the Ramsey Event Center, right here on the hill behind me. So if you're a business leader, you do not want to miss this event

in Ramsey's brand-new event center. Again, Mike Rowe and I, and this is on Thursday night, May the 4th. It will be Thursday evening at dinner on up into the night. Tickets start at $79, and you can register starting today at ramsaysolutions.com slash events. You need to be at this event. $79 is a deal. This is some world-class thought leaders in this space, and this is a trouble spot in America right now. And we've got some really good ideas on how to help with it,

not just name call, not just poke fun, although those two things would be really easy here. I'm ready. So, ramsaysolutions.com slash events. Thomas is in Washington. Hi, Thomas. Welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hey, thank you guys for taking my call.

Sure. I just want your thoughts about people who retire early and retire out of the country and live very well on their retirement for very cheap in different countries. I think they're called expats. Well, expat is not just living out of the country. Expat means you have given up your American citizenship to avoid taxation. That means expatriate. It means expatriate, like you are no longer a patriot. That's what expat means.

So I would not do that. But I would, you know, if you want to live in another country because the cost of living is low and you want to live in Costa Rica or you want to live in Mexico and some of the spots are really nice. I'm very aware of several people doing that. I've got friends that live in Cabo full time. And, yes, the cost of living is way less. But as an American citizen, you're always going to have your taxes you're not getting out of that uh but uh you know now granted if there is a low cost of living in another country there's some things that go with that okay a lower standard of living Where do you have in mind, Thomas?

Costa Rica, Ecuador, not Venezuela, that's for sure. You know, Mexico is good. Maybe an Asian country like Thailand or Vietnam, very cheap. Just do your researching and go to these places and see how you feel. What I would do is a couple things. One is I would go to the area that, narrow it down to two or three areas, and go rent a house there for a month. A month, okay.

Not just a week, a month. Yeah. To where your pulse rate changes, your body adjusts to the rhythm of the culture that you're living in. And I've got a buddy that owns 1,000 acres in Costa Rica. It's actually hectares, but not acres. And he's planning to do what you do. And when he goes down there, he says his pulse rate changes, but he has to stay several weeks for that to happen.

And here's the deal. You can build a a compound so to speak have a very nice property and the cost of labor might be really low so you might have lots of folks helping you inside the property right as maids or as chefs or doing the lawn work or whatever but when you leave the compound when you leave your property you're going to go to a different standard of living than you are in the state of Washington. So you've got to enjoy the culture, the culture, the shopping, the restaurants. You've got to be fine with all of that.

And you can be. I'm not saying you can't. But the idea of the concern, guys, is the like health care in different countries. Exactly. That's a that's a that's a part of it. Yeah exactly that's a part of it yeah that's a part of it and you know you're going to but it's quite an adventure and I don't

I don't I would not do it because I hate America I would do it because it's a fun adventure no I don't hate it I love America I love America okay I'm just saying I'm just you asked my opinion so I'm telling you but the and I wouldn't hate it. I love America. I love America. Okay. I'm just saying, you asked my opinion, so I'm telling you. And I wouldn't do it to become an expatriate to where I don't have, you know, I lose my citizenship to give up on taxes.

That's not the point. I'm not trying to hide. I'm not trying to become, you know, off the grid. I'm just trying to enjoy a high, I mean mean a good standard of living for a lot less money yeah man I would love to be able to have a property outside of the United States and keep a residence in the United States that for me would be the best of both worlds and you can divide up your time I don't know what Thomas's money situation is like but that to me is where it's at but I would spend based on the the circles I run in the mistakes that people have made or where they thought it was something until they lived there.

And so go live there before you drop, you know, a half million dollars, a million dollars, whatever it is, into a property. Because there's a honeymoon period, period too when you're enamored yeah you got to get you got to start to understand like you know if you live in cabo and you call a plumber okay yeah it's not three hours it's three days before they come yeah wow okay so yeah and maybe that's the other thing. So it's true that it's a different call. I mean, you know, when they say in Jamaica, no problem, man. Yes.

That means I ain't coming. Yeah. Yeah. That's island time right there. I mean, I'm smoking pot. I am not going to come help you. That's what that means. That's true.

You have to, you got to, you know you know so somebody's wired like me where the trains run on time and i like high service and i like i like to you know the i like the water to not get empty on my table while i'm in a restaurant and you know i'm not demanding i'm just spoiled yeah and so you know you just got to have a little more laid-back mentality if you're going to be in a different culture because uh you know some some of the uh caribbean cultures don't run on the same speed sure that we run on in the u.s and uh most of them don't and it's quite wonderful uh as long as you adjust your expectations to it so that that's the point so live there a little while it'll uh it'll uh help you make a better decision

wherever it is whether it's thailand or uh whatever and consider politics too yeah i'd be worrying about the politics you know it would be and the stability of the government in a particular location all those kinds of things this is the ramsey personality is my co-host today in the lobby of ramsey solutions on the debt-free stage scott and sherry are with us hey guys how are you hey good welcome welcome where do you guys live uh brookton dale new york love it. And welcome to Nashville. How much debt have you paid off? $64,802.88. Very good.

How long did this take? 28 months, 26 days. Love it. And what was your range of income during that two and a half years? $91,000 to $99,000. Cool. What do you all do for a living? I'm a teacher aid bus driver.

I'm a registered nurse. Very good. Good for you guys. What kind of debt was your 65 000 three credit cards personal loans student loans two vehicles you were normal we were and normal sucks and you discovered that i don't want to be normal anymore broke through okay 28 months ago how long y'all been married 27 years 27 years but 25 years into the marriage you looked up and said this plan's got to change tell me what happened um i had a i had facebook for the first time and i saw one of my friends had posted pictures of her and her family holding wads and wads of money and they paid cash for a new to them SUV and I said how did you do that you know because that was something that I always wanted to do wads and wads of money's good yeah like all of them yeah yeah and

and because I always thought that buying a car with cash was what older people did, not people my age and younger. Or rich people or something. Yes, yep. So I approached Scott and said, you know, I think that we could do this, and I ended up totaling up all of our debt. Uh-oh. And I told him about it, and I think the rest is history. So what was your reaction, Scott, when she comes to you with $65,000? It was overwhelming.

And I read your book, and we took off, and I knew that I had to finish this. I had to do it. It was something that I've watched people do, and we decided we got to give it a shot, and we never stopped. We took FPU, and I promised the FPU teacher that I would do this, that I would be here. Wow.

I love it. Very cool. Very cool. Where did you take Financial Peace University? In Ithaca, New York. Okay. At your church or a church? It was through a church.

A church. Okay. Very good. Very cool. Okay. So this all starts with an innocent Facebook post. Who knew? okay at your church or a church it was through a church a church okay very good very cool okay so this all starts with a innocent facebook post who knew good things can come from facebook that's right it's the first time i just found one yeah it can actually happen i agree all right wads and wads of cash we pay cash for an suv so sherry says uh hey friend how'd you do this and she said those ramsey people.

And you get the total money makeover book, which leads you into a financial peace class. Have I got this right? Yep. And we're now financial peace university teachers through our coordinators through our church. Woo! What's your church? Hillside Alliance. All right.

You need to go to Scott and Sherry's class. They're professionals. They paid off $65,000 in debt, and they have wads and wads of cash. We're working on that. Yeah. I love it. Way to go, you two. So proud of y'all.

Thank you. So when you guys were getting out of debt, what did you find? Did you find that, man, it's our income. We've got to do things to get more money in? Or was it really getting on a budget and decreasing you know your outgo it it was getting on the budget we were already following the every dollar um app and paying for that and then we just did the class to give us even more inspiration and more push um so and then just cutting back on a lot of things like we love to go out to dinner we love to travel um so we cut back on all of that

the best camping trip we had was when we took our camper debt free hey to a free campsite somewhere and just stayed in our camper nobody else's yeah i like it that's good nobody else owns it yeah meaning you got it paid off and now we own the truck that pulls it and the Subaru that got us here. Okay. And it's unbelievable. Yeah. Feels different. Cars drive different without a payment.

They do. You know, I can hit a deer, which are, you know, it's very common up in New York. Have you hit one? In the past. Okay. But not lately. Not lately, no. That happens in Tennessee, too.

They're like rats around here. They're everywhere. I was the spender. It was always me. I ate out more than I should, and it showed in two ways. We were broke, and the shirt doesn't fit. I don't know anybody like that, Scott. Keep that to yourself, will you?

Oh, my gosh. Way to go, will you? Okay. I will. Oh, my gosh. Way to go, you guys. Very good. Way to go. How does it feel to be free for the first time in 27 years? It feels really good. My dad always told me, especially when we pulled up into the driveway with a new car, new to us car, he was always like, slave to the lender, slave to the lender.

And I was like, yeah, that's normal. That's when we can afford a car. Now you can afford one, though. Now we can afford one. If you live like no one else later, you can live and give like no one else. Yeah, and I think that that, I mean, besides paying off the debt, giving was our, that's our ultimate goal. That is kind of fun it is fun so what yes it is so what's next for you like what's on your docket like what's that thing

that you're like okay we're debt free now it's go time on this uh the roof is leaking and we're gonna pay cash for that. Hey, love it. That's just really, yeah. That's awesome. That's a great feeling. It really is. Okay, so talk to people, because you guys have been married 27 years. I've been married 40.

Talk to people that have been married a couple decades. How did it change after 25 years of marriage when you start working on this? How did it change your 25 years of marriage when you start working on this how did it change your relationship we got closer our kids are we are a younger kid um graduated hvac school heating ventilation air conditioning and watch this whole process and he will never have a credit card. He wants to be debt-free like us. And it's changed our future, but it's hopefully going to change his forever. Amen.

But there were a lot of mornings that we would get up and sit with your book open and we would, with our Bibles open and study and read those verses over and over again and you know just work on that and praying the promises of god over your life yes and now you see a whole different you catch a whole nother gear in your marriage and in your relationship um you don't have any payments you can be generous you've changed your family tree because your kids are watching and now they're changing and not going to do it it's pretty incredible the uh the effect that all of this has

from one stinking facebook post and can i call out something in you guys's character that's that's worth calling out a lot of people would have seen that post sherry and gone oh must be nice and hated on it and thought well that's, that's, but you asked how, and I think that that's something that is just so, there's not a stitch of pride in that. It's so humble to go, well, how'd you do it, and not be mad at him, and not be jealous at him, and not, well, must be nice, because so many people would do that, and I just think that right there is incredible. Very, very well done. They gave us the book that I read as well. So when she said that, that was the book that was handed to me.

Oh, wow. Amazing. They still hand books out today. They sold a house and left a book in the house, in the drawer, and they sold it. So they sort of do those little tricks along the way. So hopefully someday we can do something like that. Johnny Total Money Makeover Seed. Yeah, I like it. I like it. along the way so hopefully someday we can do something like that yeah johnny total money makeover seed yeah i like it i like it i love it a lot well done well done very cool well speaking

of books we've got the live and give bundle for you guys the total money makeover for you to give away and like it's happened for you pay it forward and we're going to help you do that by giving you that the baby steps millionaires book because that's your next step and financial peace university since you're coordinators we're going to give you a membership you can give that to somebody i'm sure you know single mom or somebody that's deserving that needs some help and get them going so you'll find good uses for all of that you guys are special you're amazing people we're so proud of you thank you for coming thank you all right scott and sherry it New York, $65,000 paid off in 28 months, making $91,000 to $99,000. Count it down.

Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Yeah! Woo-hoo! Yeah! That's all. That's done. Ha-ha-hoo! Yeah! That's all that's done. Ha, ha, ha!

This is The Ramsey Show. Our scripture of the day, Psalms 143.10, Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your good spirit lead me on level ground. Mark Twain said, don't let schooling interfere with your education. Good stuff. Candice is with us in Dallas. Hey, Candice, welcome to the Ramsey Show.

Hi. My question is, well, the next thing on our financial to-do list is to get term life insurance. And part of the pricing for that depends on your weight, but I'm two weeks away should either use my pre-pregnancy wait to fill these applications out or the tools out, So that I get back down to a more normal weight for myself before I go and get a policy. Ethically, either one's okay with me in terms of how much insurance are you applying for? Probably about 1.3 mil. Okay. If they're going to require a medical, they may put you on a scale okay and if they're going to do that then you're going to have to wait till post baby right right and so uh what

i would do are you working with zander insurance that's where i went good good call them and ask them what they think you should do on this particular policy with this particular carrier, and they can give you some guidance. If you're going to get put on a scale, you know, because they're coming to check your blood pressure, they're going to do an in-home medical, and on a million-dollar policy, they might. Okay? Okay. How old are you?

I'm 39. Any other medical? No. Okay. So healthy, mother of three. Okay. Soon to be. Soon to be. Okay okay soon to be soon to be okay yeah so i would talk to him about that that if there is a an in-house uh you know the number of times i've had a medical exam for life insurance there's so many it's i can't count them anymore over the years so um but it's always you know they're they're looking for uh blood pressure they're looking at weight and uh

bmi you know body mass index and so on and so uh you know if they're okay with you filling it out with your pre-pregnancy weight that's not really unethical because that is your actual weight you know i mean um what you're going through here is a normal transformational process of having a baby. So that's not wrong. But now, again, if they're going to come three weeks after the baby comes and do a medical, then you probably just need to wait if that's the case, obviously. So I would talk to them, let them talk you through it. Yeah, I would do the same thing.

You would think that there would be something that's kind of in place for that sort of situation. Because like you said, having a baby is a natural thing. It doesn't mean you're unhealthy or that you're, quote, overweight. Yeah, well, weight gain would be, you would need to gain weight. Exactly. That's the healthy state to gain weight. I mean, third baby sometimes, a little more. I've heard a rumor, but I don't know.

And for some people who will remain nameless second baby i don't know this person i do not know this person look those bmis that they measure you by yeah that's real yes but it's completely unfair it's unfair thank you dave it's unfair because muscle weighs more than fat okay well i mean, did you know that old fat weighs even more? I'll take your word for it. Ancient fat. All right. Jim is in Pittsburgh.

Hey, Jim, what's up? Hey, thank you for having me on, and thank you for everything you do. Thank you. I have a quick question about baby step six. My wife and I are in four, five, and six. Good. And we just moved into the house, and we projected we could probably knock out the mortgage in five to eight years if we live pretty frugally. Two-part question, though.

How intense do you generally recommend for baby step six, number one? And number two, are we better with that time window of putting the money directly at the mortgage or putting it in, let's say, an S&P fund, letting it grow, and then in five or six years taking that and putting it at the principal? Last question first, directly at the mortgage. And there's a reason why. And for me, you'd probably be putting that money in some sort of a brokerage account. And I just don't like the idea, Jim, of having a big pile of money sitting there because I say it all the time. The minute you've got $40,000, $60,000, this guy named Uncle Boo Boo walks in and he's giving you all these great ideas on what you should do with that money instead of doing what you said you were going to do, which is put it towards a mortgage. So there's nothing wrong with just going ahead and chunking that money to the

mortgage in real time. Now, back to your first question, the baby six thing, the intensity, you know, we say around here that the first few baby steps are about being intense. And then the second few are about intentionality. And that's true. But I think, you know, some people maybe baby step two wasn't a huge deal for them. And so they're ready to put some intensity into something. And a lot of times that looks like the mortgage. And if that's the case, and you and your wife are like, hey, we really want to get this thing paid off. I really think that's up to you guys. I personally, you know, me and my husband, we're working to pay off a mortgage. And I would say we're kind of at that if intensity is measured you know from one to

100 we're like 50 60 we're not doing it the way we did baby step two you know we're we're being very intentional about putting extra money making extra payments but it's not beans and rice rice and beans here's the thing um extreme frugality is hard to sustain for six or eight years. That too. Emotionally. Because you're not participating in ever going out to eat. You're not ever going on a vacation. You're driving an old beat-up car.

You're not buying much clothing at all. And that's an extreme frugality and intention, an intensity that would be gazelle intense and baby steps one, two, three, right? So if, you know, I would not recommend extreme in that I wouldn't personally do extreme, but I am very goal oriented. And every time you spend money on something, it means you're not reducing the mortgage and you're going to have it that much longer. So I'm going to, that that's the intentionality piece i'm going to constantly be making that weighted decision and some people call that frugal i call it being a grown-up being so so maybe instead of a frugal vacation a modest vacation something like that yeah i mean

uh you know like i don't want you making three hundred thousand dollars a year and and you know uh staying in some ratty hotel that's just silly i mean don't do that that's not that's not sustainable and uh if you want to do that for 18 months or something but for six years that's that's a problem you know it's it's very hard to to sustain that relationally now what cause what i'm what i have found in doing what i do is one person might be able to do that but the other one is not along for a joy ride and you start it starts leaving a mark a scar on your relationships at some point the extreme part does now if you're both in and you say hey instead of spending this doing this glorious uh seven day

cruise uh we're going to do a weekend in a nice air and b&b or we're going to you know catch a deal on a nice hotel for four days and uh spend half and put the other half on there that that's intentionality that's not intensity and so that's not extreme frugality that's just paying attention yeah and we did do all that kind of stuff that's a good point because i know for sam and i when i i remember trying to come in hot with the mortgage stuff and the look on his face was like ptsd like we just we just did this like i just want to enjoy a little bit and he was right yeah and a little bit is the key so yeah this going hog wild as soon as you get out of debt is going to get you back into facts

so that that's not what we're talking about we're going to be intentional we'll be doing this within with purpose but i think you guys as long as you and your wife are both at peace and one of you is not dragging the other one yeah true through this then i think you got a pretty good balance at that point so some level of frugality what the culture calls frugality yes right the culture spins like they're in congress well that's a good point because these definitions are different frugality in my mind is very different than what some people might say you know frugality in some people's mind is i don't get everything i want but that's not what he's talking about and so we need to be careful because i don't want you dumpster diving and ramen noodles and you know sewing up your clothes and making four hundred thousand dollars a year and uh and calling that responsible yeah that's

not what we're doing that's not what we're doing nope not during not doing four five six now during one through three we can do anything you want to do. That puts us out of the Ramsey Show and the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Hey, what's up, guys? It's Jade.

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