The Ramsey Show - App - Should I Pay Off My New Husband’s Debt? (Hour 3)

Episode Date: February 7, 2022

Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Delony As heard on this episode: Sign Up for a FREE trial of Ramsey+ TODAY: https://bit.ly/3rZTUAx Tools to get you started:  Debt Calculator: https://bit.ly/2Q64HME I...nsurance Coverage Checkup: https://bit.ly/3sXwUn5 Complete Guide to Budgeting: https://bit.ly/3utmVXi Check out more Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3fHhbVE

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I'm Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and a paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloney. Ramsey Personality is my co-host today assey, your host, Dr. John Deloney. Ramsey Personality is my co-host today as we answer your questions about your life and your money. It is launch day as we launch the pre-sale of John's brand new book, Own Your Past, Change Your Future. You got to be sure and check this out. It's all about mental health and wellness and really
Starting point is 00:01:03 about just relationships and getting control of things, creating healing in the land. John, I'm really excited about this. Thank you so much. This is 10 years in the making and lots of personal stories and personal experiences and all the academic training and sitting with family after family after family. It all comes down to a not-so-complicated approach to how we need to get back on the wagon when it comes to our mental health and relationships yeah and it's uh you know so here's the thing every person listening right this second has some relationship something going on inside your head that could get better that's right including both of us sitting here that's right absolutely and so
Starting point is 00:01:42 it's a constant process it's a constant growing it's constantly evolving you get better at handling your money you get better with your marriage you get better with your parenting you get better at your relationships get better at you know managing the stories in your brain and where that takes you yeah and we joke about this there there will never be a i'm not depressed there's no depressed free scream or no anxious free scream right because the moment you scream that you go outside and pandemic will hit someone let you know that your mom passed away so this is more a set of principles for how to get we've created a world for ourselves that our bodies can't live in and we're dragging these
Starting point is 00:02:20 stories from our childhood and from our from us everywhere. How do we sit this stuff down and live a well life amidst this chaos that we've got in our world? Yeah, very cool. I'm excited about it. Good stuff, good stuff. Open phones at 888-825-5225. You jump in, we'll talk about your life and your money. The new book is on sale with all kinds of pre-sale goodies thrown in,
Starting point is 00:02:44 including 13 days of free counseling with the folks at Better Health, and they are pretty incredible. Yeah, Better Health really stepped up. I could not have been more excited when they stepped up and said, we'll give a free month's counseling to all the pre-sale folks here. It's how much they believe in the book, and we've got a great partnership. But you can finish this book and quickly realize i probably should call somebody and i love that we're able to say all right here's a number and there'll be a counselor
Starting point is 00:03:08 into that line for you ryan is with us to start off this hour in louisville kentucky hey ryan welcome to the ramsey show hey dave and dr john thanks for taking my call sure what's up so i need a little bit of advice um before i ever knew who Dave Ramsey was, I had a credit card, a Discover card. And the largest credit limit on the card was ever $4,200. And so 2015 and 2016, to make a long story short, worst year and a half of my life went through a really bad divorce, lost my job, so I was without a job for about three-quarters of a year. And that Discover card payment that just kept coming in, I kept wanting to bury my head in the sand and act like it wasn't there and act like it wasn't there.
Starting point is 00:03:49 And so eventually that $4,200 credit limit ballooned to about $10,000. And in 2017 was served with a judgment from Discover card for a total of $10,976.92. So started a payment plan with a collection law firm that started in June 2017 and went all the way till January of 2019 was the last payment I made to them because in February, something happened in that year. I can't remember what it was, but a payment didn't get made or it got returned. And then I never heard from them again. Like I never heard a thing from this company. I never got a bill in the mail. I never got anything until October, 2020, they reached out, sent me a letter and were like, Hey, you owe us money. And so I know you've touched on this topic in the past, but they just recently sent me a letter here at the end of January stating that I could make a payment to them of $1,932.77, and it would be good to go.
Starting point is 00:04:52 The balance on the account right now is $4,831. So I just wanted to know your advice and how you should handle that. Okay. Well, obviously, these things don't go away. They have a high rate of resurrection that's my friend les parrot says so uh yeah it's it needs to be dealt with because it's not going to go away until you deal with it but and here's the thing you legitimately owe some money uh you possibly have paid already more than you legitimately owed because it sounds like they beefed this thing up to no end to me.
Starting point is 00:05:28 And I think it kind of sounds like you feel that way as well, right? Yes. Okay. So do you know how much you've paid them so far? Have you ever totaled it up? I paid them from June of 2017 up until January 2019. I paid them $6,145. Okay.
Starting point is 00:05:46 All right. So what I would do is jump on the phone with them and give them these couple of numbers, okay? How far behind were you when you first got contacted by them? So when I first got contacted by them was when the sheriff's deputy showed up at work with these papers yeah how far behind were you then i mean it was it was i guess after all the interesting stuff had been i'm saying how many years how many years um that was probably 20 2015 was the last time so that would be about a year and a half, I guess. Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:27 So here's the thing. Discover sold that account to a debt buyer. Okay. Debt buyers buy old, bad debt to collect on it. They collect on a very small percentage of it, and based on the fact that it's very hard, difficult, and almost impossible to collect on even a little bit of it, they don't pay much for the old bad debt. In general, it's about a nickel on the dollar. Okay?
Starting point is 00:06:58 So they probably paid $200 for this debt. It's $4,200 on the books. Right? debt it's 4200 on the books all right so um you know one percent or ten percent would be 400 bucks five percent would be 200 bucks so somewhere in that range is what they paid for this debt and uh so what i would go to them and say is this i met with my financial coach, and he says, you guys bought this for pennies on the dollar. It was originally $4,200. I have already paid you over $6,000, $6,192.42, or whatever the number is. So I'm not feeling like I owe you anymore. However, I will make you this offer.
Starting point is 00:07:46 I will give you $600 to completely close this account up and be done with it and begin a negotiation based on the fact that a you know that they didn't pay anything for this b you originally owed 4200 and have paid over 6 000 back now and c i'm tired of this crap and i want you people to go away permanently so if you send me in writing that you will settle the account by email or in the mail either one that you will settle this account for six hundred dollars cash i will then wire that to you the next day but i'm not going to pay you nineteen hundred dollars more you've screwed me all you're going to and just argue with them and you're going to get an argument get ready them. And you're going to get in an argument. Get ready.
Starting point is 00:08:26 And go back and forth. And if you settle it for $800, fine. If you settle it for $1,100, fine. But get it settled for less than $1,900 and use that negotiating process and be prepared to argue and fight through it and get it in writing or don't give them any money and don't give them electronic access to your checking account.
Starting point is 00:09:02 People all over the country are discovering a faith-based and budget-friendly way of meeting health care healthcare costs through Christian Healthcare Ministries. Christian Healthcare Ministries, or CHM, is a nonprofit organization that helps members carry one another's burdens with healthcare expenses, and they have successfully shared each other's medical bills for nearly 40 years. See if CHM is right for you by visiting chministries.org. CHM is a proud sponsor of Dave Ramsey Live Events. Marriages across the country could all use a date night right now. An evening to come together and focus on what matters most, connection and communication. Maybe the challenges of the past year have pulled you closer together, or perhaps you've drifted apart with homeschooling or job loss or financial stress.
Starting point is 00:09:57 No matter what your marriage looks like right now, we can help you achieve better unity and communication at our special Valentine's edition of Money and Marriage. It streams live this Friday, February the 11th at 7 p.m. right into your computer, right into your home. Rachel Cruz and Dr. John Deloney will guide you and your spouse through an unforgettable evening where you'll realign the goals of your marriage, learn how healthy communication can improve every area of your life, and unify your financial goals to put an end to the money fights for good. Tickets for the Money and Marriage live stream are available. They're only $20. They will not last long. And get that $20 in your February budget and head over to RamseySolutions.com slash events. Buy your tickets because the time for a stronger marriage is right now.
Starting point is 00:10:56 One thing is for sure, with John and Rachel doing the event, humor will be a part of it. You two caught up way too much. Yeah, she's fun, man. I'm looking forward to this event and to give people some tools. Give people a break, man. I'm so sick of greeting card companies and candy companies telling me how I'm supposed to love my wife. And this is the year to do Valentine's different. So get some sweats, get some food that you love, prop your feet up, and let's have some fun.
Starting point is 00:11:19 Yeah. So Rachel and John will be walking you through the money and marriage event this coming Friday, the 11th of February at 7 p.m. Go ahead and get your tickets. They're only $20. I think Ramsey Plus subscribers are free for. That's right. So you guys that are in Ramsey Plus already, you'll be able to watch it for free.
Starting point is 00:11:38 Just make sure you schedule this and get scheduled right there on the couch and get the tv going the whole thing and a whole new way to go to a valentine's edition money and marriage and gentlemen we will make it worth your while trust me it's not just going to be some it's not a girly thing not a girly thing it's gonna be for everybody it'd be fun yeah yeah it's it's it's a lot of fun i mean you guys you're all humor and uh communication style both of you is a lot of fun. I mean, you guys, your humor and communication style, both of you, is a lot of fun. So you guys will have a blast. Check it out this Friday night. Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com.
Starting point is 00:12:11 Find out for yourself why Blinds.com is the number one online retailer of custom window coverings, free samples, free shipping, and with new promos they run all the time, you'll save even more. Use the promo code Ramsey to get the best possible deal. All right, today's question comes from Catherine in Alabama. Catherine writes, I'm 25, newly married, and we are joining bank accounts. I make about $150,000 a year, and he makes $50,000. I have over $180,000 in liquid savings and could pay off all my husband's debt today in one check. Should I do this, or should we work through the baby steps so his behavior changes?
Starting point is 00:12:49 I don't want to bail him out. Whew. This marriage is brand new and already off the track. Man. So, Catherine, your husband is not a bank. He's your husband. Well, man, then she threw this last little line in here I gotta think about it so yes I think you paid the debt off and get your house debt free that is the baby steps but there's something here I don't know that
Starting point is 00:13:18 he's got some behavior issues and he's not being responsible money that's right that's right in her mind right and whenever i see this i instantly feel whether this is true or not and again these are always one-sided because we're not talking to people you're no better than him or no um more of an extra contributor just because you make more money. You're all on the same team, same dream. You're all headed in the same place. He's got to get his behavior in check. But you don't get to call the shots because you make more money. Y'all are doing this thing together.
Starting point is 00:13:55 And so I want you to sit down and talk to him about that. Yeah, you're not his mom. There you go. I don't worry about his behavior. Sharon does not talk about me that way. Right. Even if she doesn't like my behavior, which happens sometimes, right? But instead, we're like two adults, and, you know, you sit down and go,
Starting point is 00:14:16 you don't like your behavior. Yeah. And this is not okay, and we're not going to go forward this way. We're going to go forward another way. And rather than you somehow dangle the carrot of debt freedom until he learns to behave the way you want him to behave that's right um this should have been a conversation you'll have before you get married yeah like months ago right yeah your pre-marriage counseling sucks if you had if you had any yeah and uh so yeah because you guys got married and you don't respect him on this subject.
Starting point is 00:14:49 And that's devastating to him. So don't take the position of his mommy and don't take the position that he's a bank that needs to be bailed out or that you are better than him. Instead, you sit down and say, look, you're my man. I'm your woman. And we're going to work on this stuff together like two grown-ups, and here's how we're going to handle money going forward, or we're going to have to go see a marriage counselor as our first order of business of being married, because we have to get on the same page about money. Because by the way, money problems and money fights are the number one cause of divorce in north america today and katherine this isn't his debt anymore you got married this is y'all's debt yep y'all's debt so as soon as you've had this conversation and there's a glimmer of light in his eyes and goes
Starting point is 00:15:36 okay cool let's get on a budget together let's uh start giving every dollar a name you got two hundred thousand dollars worth of income in this household. The two of you sit down. Both of you have an equal vote regardless of where the money comes from. We now have a budget where we spend, you know, $20,000 a month or $18,000 a month, whatever it is here, on paper, on purpose, and then we stick to that. And we don't violate that contract because that's like lying to my wife or lying to my husband. If I don't stick to what I said I was going to do with them, that's called lying.
Starting point is 00:16:11 And so we form a contract called a budget where the two of us both have a vote, and we're both in agreement about where the money goes. Now, if he continues to be irresponsible in that setting, you don't have a money problem. Now you've got a marriage and a irresponsible husband problem and then you've got to sit down with somebody to help coach you guys through this thing and that's really what should have happened in the process but don't take the position of because you know later on you're going to be dealing with a 50 year old man who says well i can't buy something do i check
Starting point is 00:16:45 with mama translation we all know that guy yeah i know that guy i know him very very well we all know that guy yeah i gotta check in with mama and see if i got any money well and this works the other way right yeah you know i have to ask my husband's permission if i'm allowed to buy this dave will you let me do that right it's like, no, you get a vote too, Sharon. We both have a vote. I'm the only one who creates any income, but she created a lot of income by allowing me to create income. That's exactly right.
Starting point is 00:17:16 And so by not having drama at home, that helped create income. So she gets a vote on this piece of real estate we purchased this charity event we're going to give or not give to uh this thing you know this she gets a vote in all of that and uh regardless of where the income comes from so two hundred thousand dollar budget lay it out for the month where are we going to spend our money and we are going to pinky swear and spit shake this is a contract we're going to stick to this now you have a responsible adult working with a responsible adult and the day that you get that glimmer which should be like by the end of the week um that you need to do this right now tonight turn off the stupid television yellowstone await okay 1883 await tiger king await just park it you can do this sit down and uh get this done and then
Starting point is 00:18:10 write a check and pay off his debt and then moving forward let this be the template for how you will always handle both of you challenges that come up in your marriage you're not going to dangle this or withhold that or well i'm just going to do this or no we're going to dangle this or withhold that or, well, I'm just going to do this. No, we're going to sit down and say, hey, in your weekly meeting that you have or your nightly check-in with each other that you have, I'm struggling with this thing. Whatever this thing happens to be. And by the way, you're 25 right now. You'll have a million things over the next 50, 60 years. Guarantee it.
Starting point is 00:18:39 So practice now having these hard conversations because they only get harder. This summer, Sharon and I will be married 40 years. congrats man me and chela are 20 this summer 40 years congratulations and you know what we have to align on more than the budget today because we've been doing the budget for 30 is calendar if we can be in agreement on where our time goes and our money goes we generally are in agreement yeah Yeah. Pretty simple. Beautiful. This is, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions. On the debt-free stage, Otis and Sandra are with us. Hey, guys, how are you? Great.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Where do y'all live? Dale High, Louisiana. Okay. Close to Monroe, West Monroe. Oh, yeah, I've been to Monroe. Okay, cool. We worship in West Monroe at Monroe. Oh, yeah. I've been to Monroe. Okay. Okay. Cool. We worship in West Monroe at church. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:06 I spoke at the Baptist Church, a white building. Okay. One time a thousand years ago. Okay. It may not even be still standing. The best eating on planet Earth happens in Monroe, Louisiana. There you go. That's good food.
Starting point is 00:20:18 Oh, now you got my stomach growing. I'm telling you, man. Welcome, guys. Good to have you. How much debt have you paid off? $85,38 dollars in 22 months way to go and your range of income during that time 87 000 to 96 000 back to 87 i love it very good what do you guys do for a living i am a medical coder i work from home and i work for
Starting point is 00:20:40 uh life share blood okay what'd you do to get your income up 10 grand and then drop it back down? Lots of overtime, side jobs. And when COVID happened, actually nobody was going to the emergency rooms. I didn't have any accounts to code, so my hours got cut. Uh-oh. But I had a nursing license, so I went and worked at the nursing home. And I worked there for about four or five months. And sometimes I would work at home for eight hours and go work eight, ten hours at the nursing home just to help,
Starting point is 00:21:07 and he did side jobs. That's not only hard working at the time you were doing that. That was a little bit scary for you, wasn't it? It was. Yeah, that's firefighter duty. That was a high-stress situation right then. Yes, it was. What a brave woman.
Starting point is 00:21:18 You're awesome. She is. And they needed you. Yeah. And what were you doing, Otis? I've been in the ministry for about 30 years, but I've taken another job now and doing something else. So we've been working hard together to make things work with us. I got you.
Starting point is 00:21:34 Cool. Tell me about the $85,000. What kind of debt? Everything. Credit cards. Yeah. I thought a student loan would never go away. But it does.
Starting point is 00:21:44 It does. It won't unless you get rid of it. That's right. Car loan, student loan, credit cards, medical. All just kind of normal. Normal. Very normal. Okay.
Starting point is 00:21:52 And you just woke up and said, we make $87,000 a year. This has got to go away. And it sounds like you kind of started this in the middle of the COVID mess. We did right before COVID. Right before. Right before. So he used to listen to you on the radio for years and come home and he'd tell me stuff i'm like wow you know that's not gonna work for us
Starting point is 00:22:10 so read your first book though financial peace and still didn't buy into it so um then when we started was making that kind of money and it was just us two and so i you know was looking at everything and i was like why we have so much money but we still have all this debt? So I saw a friend mention you on Facebook so I thought, hmm, let me check this out. So I started watching your show. I knew it would work all along.
Starting point is 00:22:34 I didn't. Otis, you keep that one to yourself, man. That's right. Bringing that up right now is not a good time. Otis. I've always had good radio stations in Monroe, so I'm not surprised that I got through to Otis on the radio. And then Sandra looks me up on YouTube.
Starting point is 00:22:54 That's right. Us up, I guess. The whole gang here. Yeah. So very cool. All right. So how long you two been married? It will be 35 years on Valentine's Day.
Starting point is 00:23:03 Oh, all right. Just coming up then that's right monday all right very cool what's what happened several years ago that got you on this journey it was like i said everything just yeah just realizing just seeing that debt just being there knowing it wasn't going away we just knew we had to do something different all right so you say we're going for it and then all of a sudden covet hits did y'all have a freak out moment what kept you going maybe a little bit and then all of a sudden COVID hits. Did you all have a freak-out moment? What kept you going?
Starting point is 00:23:27 Maybe a little bit. And then about three or four months after that, we took FPU through Zoom. Oh, wow. And so we did that with a couple, and that just kind of helped because all we had left then was the car and the student loan. And so we really pushed forward, and we got our student loans paid last on Christmas Day. Oh, wow. That was our Christmas present to each other other all right how long did you have sally may around oh too long it goes back many years decades yes decades yeah wow yes well good for you you're free amen right first time in 35 years i bet yeah wow Wow. How's it feel? Great. Unburdened. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:05 That's right. Amen. That's right. Amen. Well, congratulations, you guys. Very, very proud of y'all. Yeah. This past year has been really a struggle for us, so we paid off our debt, and it helped
Starting point is 00:24:16 us to realize that our marriage needed work. So, just pulled us together and saw that, so that's when he decided to leave ministry. We decided to focus on us. We've been doing counseling and better than we've ever been. So we're not only debt-free, we're free from our past. I love that. Healing promotes healing promotes healing. That's right.
Starting point is 00:24:37 It's hard to work on one area and get everything straightened out without working on the others. It just always ends up that way. That is so powerful. Good for you. A lot of brave, big decisions decisions there's two brave people in front of me a lot of big decisions yes career changes uh you know different kinds of commitment changes and if we had not been debt free it wouldn't have been possible for us to focus on that so that's that's made a huge difference yeah after sharon and i went broke we uh we were too worried about eating and feeding kids to even notice what we'd done to each other and it was
Starting point is 00:25:10 about three years later that we decided to try to kill each other you know and we end up you know we end up with a marriage counselor and i'm going i'm gonna kill this woman she goes you're an idiot i was i was an idiot four years ago that's not changed i was there but it was the same kind of thing we healed enough in that area to where it allowed us to go oh crud this other area is broken right and same exact process so very cool you guys very proud of you very well done very well done well we've got a copy of baby steps millionaires for you that's the next chapter in your story for sure and a copy of total money makeover for you to give away and get somebody else's journey going you've been through financial peace university you've checked out the radio the podcast the youtube you've been with us everywhere
Starting point is 00:25:53 thank you thank you for hanging out with us we're honored and then coming to nashville to do this live that's right very cool and i don't want folks to miss before you do this i want folks to miss you're an inspiration because you paid off all your debts and it's incredible but i don't want to miss the other parts of your journey here it takes a brave person a brave couple to say we've been married for 35 years it's time for us to recommit reconnect to do this thing and we're going to need some professional that's hard yes and there's lots and lots and i say lots i mean millions of marriages in that same spot i'm proud of you guys and thank you for the example. You just said for the whole country, it's never too late to say let's redo this thing.
Starting point is 00:26:30 That's right. Good for you. All right. Proud of you. Turns out us old dogs can learn new tricks. You're brave if you can. That's right. But you've got to be brave.
Starting point is 00:26:38 That's right. Good for you guys. It requires a level of courage. So very well done, you guys. Proud of you. Good stuff. All right, Otis and Sandra Monroe, Louisiana, $85,000 paid off in 22 months, making $87,000 to $96,000. Count it down.
Starting point is 00:26:57 Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! free. Yeah, I love it. That is so powerful. So powerful. Personal finance is 80% behavior. It's only 20% head knowledge. The problem with your money is not a math problem the problem with your money is the person in your mirror and the relationships that person engages in over the last 30 years how much of that 80 percent this behavior is communication that first conversation it's got to be a big chunk it's the ability to play well with others yeah you know to tell your crazy cousin no yeah to set a boundary right no i'm not giving you any more money you're a drug addict i'm not giving you any more money to tell your spouse we got to get on the same page we got to heal this thing to look at yourself in the mirror
Starting point is 00:28:01 forgive yourself for being an idiot because i got a phd in dumb i know what stupid looks like i've looked at him in the mirror i know this guy but also know i don't do the same stupid thing twice so i look for new stupid things to do but i don't do the same one twice i'm gonna learn i'm gonna get better i'm gonna evolve i'm gonna heal in every one of these areas and i don't have to repeat i don't have to cycle on any of these areas of my life and you don't and you guys out there don't but this idea that somehow i can simply go make more money and it'll be okay nope wherever you go there you end up my friend you will follow you everywhere yeah the old the old story of the guy on the road and he asked the old man um man, how are the people in that town back there? And he goes, how did you find them in the last town?
Starting point is 00:28:48 That's how you'll find them in this town. That's right. How did you like that last job? Oh, the leaders were jerks. I bet you they are at the next place. Yep. There you go. I bet you there's a good chance of that.
Starting point is 00:28:58 You seem to attract those kind of people. But then you look at Otis and Sandra, and they said, no more. We're going to change it we're gonna break the cycle changing change our family tree good stuff this is the ramsey show Our scripture of the day, Proverbs 3.21. My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight preserve sound judgment and discretion mark twain said good judgment comes from experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment kind of what we were just talking about what a great quote kind of what we were just talking about well it's tax season i don't know
Starting point is 00:30:05 anybody who loves that unless you're an accountant truth is most of us dread taxes it's a pain it's confusing filing taxes is bad and tax software can all time oftentimes make it even worse and then they try to sell you debt on top of that but filing your taxes doesn't have to be horrible we created ramsey smart tax to give you software that you can actually trust. SmartTax has steps that are simple, they're clear, so you know you've done your taxes right. No more headaches, no more second-guessing, and we'll never tack on surprise fees or try to sell you scummy companies, sell your info to scummy companies or something like that when you sign up for ramsey plus it's even easier you even file your taxes with ramsey smart
Starting point is 00:30:51 tax free as a part of being in ramsey plus so don't get taken advantage of by your tax software ever again start your free trial of ramsey plus and file your taxes for free at RamseyPlus.com. That's RamseyPlus.com. That's a pretty good and clean and simple way to do that. Corinne is with us in New York. Hi, Corinne. How are you? Hi, I'm great.
Starting point is 00:31:16 How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up in your world? So both my husband and I work full-time. So our AGI combined is about $94,000, but he also sells computers part-time. He sold about $250,000 in computers this year alone. But we're not seeing any profit. We're only seeing loss on our taxes with business expenses and credit cards.
Starting point is 00:31:44 I'd love to help him, but with 12 hours a day working and traveling to and from work, I don't have time to help him with bookkeeping and things like that. So what would be your suggestion? Should I leave my job and help him and, you know, stay with the kids or should we hire someone? You should hire someone. Hire someone, okay. You didn't tell me you hate your job you just said your husband was struggling right okay i don't hate my job i just feel like i and by the way you're making money and he's not yeah profit what what's the loss here is it the cost of the computers how are you selling 250k and walking away losing money? Right.
Starting point is 00:32:25 Most of the money is filtering back into the business. So he's buying more computers and using the credit cards to pay for more computers and then putting more money back on the credit cards. It's just a vicious cycle. No, it's horrible business practice. Absolutely horrendous. It sounds like this guy knows how to sell computers, but is horrible at running a business. Right.
Starting point is 00:32:50 Money management. Well, managing the business is part of money management. It's part of accounting. You have to be able to do that at a certain level to operate a business. And you can learn it. It's a learned skill. It's very possible but um what he needs to do is jump online at uh at ramsey solutions.com click on elp for taxes and find a uh a cpa in
Starting point is 00:33:14 your area that we trust that we endorse to help you set up a set of books and and the cpa can actually teach him how to do the bookkeeping and And you can get some simple software. There's all kinds of software out there to get started in business that's not super complicated. But this guy does not know how to run a business. He just knows how to sell computers. And he's going to have to learn that or he's going to have to shut this down. Because let me tell you what's going to happen. All of a sudden the sales are going to stop
Starting point is 00:33:40 and he's going to be like musical chairs. The chairs are going to be gone. He's going to be standing there holding the credit card debt and it's over. That's true. That's what's going to stop and he you know he's going to be like musical chairs the chairs are going to be gone he's going to be standing there holding the credit card debt and it's over that's true that's what's going to happen here i've watched it happen tens of thousands of times over the years of coaching small business people and here's the problem with a great he's a great salesman isn't he yes very good yeah i'm a great salesman too and the thing that i tried to do when i was at his stage is i tried to out earn my stupidity. You can't make enough to be stupid.
Starting point is 00:34:10 But salesmen think you can. I know. I am one. Okay? And he really, the truth is, if you tell him that, he'll start laughing. He'll go, honey, we can't out earn your stupidity. You've got to get, you're going to have to get up under this business and start setting up basic operational things basic accounting things shipping you know some of the other stuff he's just he's just running around
Starting point is 00:34:31 hanging on by a thread in every area except sales which he's excelled at so would it be a good idea to help him with that if you can without quitting your job if you can without quitting your job but he doesn't his payroll? If you can without quitting your job. But he doesn't, you know, he could put a bookkeeper on his payroll, and they'll pay for themselves in about 30 seconds. Is he exhausted, Corinne, or is he like this shuffle? It seems like doing this much work. He's doing a lot.
Starting point is 00:34:58 He's doing a lot. He works full time, and then part time, every other time he's doing this, he doesn't sleep. Oh, this is on the side. Yes. What does he make at his full-time job? About $49,000. What do you make at your full-time job? $57,000.
Starting point is 00:35:16 Okay, so you have $100,000 income, and then he's got a side gig that's basically churning $250,000. Yes. In and out. Yes. that's basically churning 250k yes in and out yes yeah you need a bookkeeper or an ops person operational person a bookkeeper business manager office manager that can do bookkeeping type of a thing that can help him with administrative things including some basic accounting functions um and uh you know it can be a guy can be a gal and a hundred years ago we call them girl friday you ever heard that phrase but it's somebody that comes in and takes so it's And, you know, it can be a guy, it can be a gal. A hundred years ago, we called them Girl Friday.
Starting point is 00:35:46 You ever heard that phrase? But it's somebody that comes in and takes over. It's your business mom, you know, that comes in and helps. That's one of your first hires when you get going in a business. It could be a business dad. I don't care. It's not a sexual, sex thing. It's a man or a woman, doesn't matter to me.
Starting point is 00:36:01 But somebody's got to come in and bring the skill sets that he does not have, or this thing's going to, or he ought to just stop doing it right and let me tell you that's not an option for him he loves he loves it is an option well it is an option don't back yourself into a corner and don't let yourself be backed into one either that's true it's always one let me tell you the relief and peace i felt when i had a supervisor a job or two ago that came to me and said you are really good at this I'm gonna teach you and get you some help on this part and I fought it it was a it was against my ego and I pressed back a little bit and then oh man I was able to breathe and so I would approach this like Dave said talk to him about what he's really good at, and then say, let's make this part right, because we miss you at home.
Starting point is 00:36:48 I miss you. This thing is not working. You're not good at this thing. You may need to raise prices. You may need to change shipping. You may need to whatever. You definitely got to cut up the credit cards and stop cycling the thing and start running it on a cash basis for sure. But cash basis accounting is I buy stuff when i have money hey that's that and that's cash basis accounting and that's how all small
Starting point is 00:37:13 businesses should start some people start them on credit cards 38 of small businesses in america right now are running credit card debt as an operational thing. Wow. And that is suicide. It's terrifying. You know, it's terrifying what it will do to you. So, yeah, you've got to get him out of that. So, yeah, get him with one of our tax ELPs and or find somebody that you can hire to bring in or get the virtual assistant. The people with Belay can help you with that.
Starting point is 00:37:41 That might be an answer. Get with the Entrez leadership team here, and i'll send you a copy of the book entree leadership to help you guys get started on this because it sounds like he's got the beginnings of something that ought to work uh it may just be simply he hasn't got his margins straight he needs to raise prices it may be that he's shuffling this so much he can't tell what's going on, whether he's really making money or not. He may actually be making money and then just dumping it all back in because he's not managing cash. He's managing a shell game, hiding the P. Well, here's another thing she didn't mention,
Starting point is 00:38:16 so I'm just putting this out there. He may not be making that much money, and I would want to see all the numbers out on the table. And this may help from a trust perspective for your marriage, just to say, I want to see the books on this thing. I want to see all the numbers out on table. And this may help from a trust perspective for your marriage just to say, I want to see the books on this thing. I want to see how this thing is running. That's a lot of income to be churning, to walk away, and still the boat's still sinking. Something doesn't feel right to me about this whole thing.
Starting point is 00:38:41 Yeah, it is a lot to have zero profit. Have zero. But you can call it no profit by just dumping it all back in. That's right. Yeah. Just by churning it. Yeah. You know, and trying to parlay it up.
Starting point is 00:38:52 Parlay it up from nothing to $250. Yeah. So somehow he's moved the P that far. But if you're not bringing anything home to support your family, it's a real expensive hobby. Kind of missed the point. That's right. Kind of missed the point. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:03 This is the Ramsey Show. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Have a friend or family member that needs a daily dose of Ramsey advice in their life? Let them know about the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast. It's a quick hit of advice about life and money in under 10 minutes. Check out the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.

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