The Ramsey Show - App - Should I Take a Gift With Strings Attached? (Hour 2)

Episode Date: November 28, 2023

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create amazing relationships. I'm George Camel, here with my co-host, Mr. Ken Coleman, best-selling author and host of The Ken Coleman Show. And we're here for you, America, taking your calls on money and work and everything in between at 888-825-5225. Rebecca's going to kick us off in Pensacola. Rebecca, welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi, thank you for taking my call. Sure. How can Ken and I help? I am fortunate to have a parent who wishes to help

me out a little bit. I'm in a tough situation right now with my vehicle and I have a parent who says, I just found out that she has a bond that she had purchased years ago with me in mind and is offering to cash that bond so I can get a vehicle, a safer vehicle, a better vehicle. And while I'm very glad of that, there are going to be strings attached. And I'm wondering if there are points that I might be able to diplomatically make with her to convince her that I am mature enough to find you know shop and find a vehicle on my own without it being relegated to my brother who is in a you know a thousand miles away she and my brother live a thousand miles away. There's an interesting family dynamic.

What's the strings? The strings attached are the money is only for a vehicle only if they buy it. And I know how I drive and the things that I like to do. And I would like to have some agency in picking it. And on the outside chance that I can find something nicer you know nice enough for less than the full amount of the bond perhaps I could put some of that money away for maintenance or for a little saving um and you've told them this you told your mother this I have I just found out about it. So, no, I just asked if it had to be a vehicle, if they had to pick it, and she said yes. Yeah, that part's confusing. It sounds like she doesn't trust you.

No, she's controlling. It's always been like that. And while I am very grateful for the potential gift. How much are we talking here? Possibly up to $10,000. Okay. And are you in debt currently? What's your financial situation? I'm not in debt. However, I am an unemployed and I'm living off my savings. I am, you know, I'm, I'm worried and struggling and trying to get a job and, you know, I don't know what the future is going to hold for me. It's just like everybody else.

But I'm really, I'm not in a good financial position. I saved and worked my butt off and put money away. And I've been living off savings. But are the strings attached over? Like, let's just say they just gifted you a car. You had no idea about it. It was not the car you would have chosen, but it's say they just gifted you a car. You had no idea about it. It was not the car you would have chosen, but it's a free car and you're going to take it. How would you feel about that? Okay. You know what? I get the point.

I would just be like, hey, a free car. It's amazing. It's not my dream car, but I'm going to... Now, here's the thing. What if you saved up and you were like, you know what? I'm going to upgrade. I'm going to sell this car and upgrade to the car I really want down the line. Would they then be upset? It's possible. I don't know. Because that's the part that worries me is that we're not done. There's more strings attached to this string. That's the part that scares me where I'd go, you know what? Thanks for the offer. It's very kind of you. I'm going to handle this one. I'm going to get a job and just save up and upgrade over time and get the cars that I want. But otherwise I'm taking the free car, but it sounds like there's more to the story that you're not going to share in this call.

I want to dig a little bit more. Can I? Because I think George is onto it. He's got great spidey senses. Spidey senses were tingling. Yeah. When he asked you you would there be strings attached if you upgraded meaning you sold this car they gave you and down the line and you said um probably but i'm not sure it doesn't feel like there would be a whole lot of blowback that wouldn't be your answer if you thought it was going to be like a big deal. Am I right? You may be right. Actually, I think part of my hesitation in answering was simply because, wow, I hadn't even thought of it until you started leading up to that, that, hey, you can, and I was processing what you were leading to. I was

thinking, well, why couldn't I just do that? We've just seen it all on this show, and no one thinks through all the different angles and what's going to happen three years from now and all the relational issues that could pop up. And so I'm just thinking ahead going, okay, but what if? But what if? I love your scenario, George. So, Rebecca, what if you did what George said? Yeah, why not? And now this is an upgrade responsibly. Is there any scenario by which your mother would get upset over that?

I don't think so. I don't either. I'm just like, I hate to see, I guess there's a trust issue. I don't trust them to get a good car. He isn't known for that. He has, my brother has like lots of junky cars that he's going to buy and stuff and turnover and all that. And I'm like, wow, I hate to see all of that money just blown on,

oh, this looks good. Let's get her this. But isn't it your call? Isn't it your call, though? No. I missed that. I think it's going to be up to him. Oh.

They're 1,000 miles away in a Rust Belt state. I'm in sunny Florida where I can get a car that isn't a rust car. I got to bring George back in here knowing what we know. I either missed that, but if the brother's buying the car and he's got a track record of buying garbage and she doesn't get to buy the car, that makes me nervous. Yeah, because then it's going to be her problem that she's driving around and then paying for repairs and maintenance. I wouldn't do it. If it were me, I would not take the car.

I would say we can have parameters on, hey, I'm going to get this car inspected. Here's the amount I'm going to spend. I'm not going to spend it frivolously on other things. But outside of that, this is my decision. Oh, good answer, George. Do you think the brother would allow you to do that? The car he picks, he's got to take it to a mechanic? I don't know why this is his business.

No. He's clearly not a car expert. Well, because he's the designated mom, his designated brother is the expert. Is that what I'm guessing? I think so. And there's a very codependent relationship between, it's almost like they're an unhealthy marriage. There it is. It's mother and son.

And so it's like, they're both very, very controlling, including trying to control me, which, you know, we're all much past the age of that. This whole thing just feels weird. Over 10 grand. I just,

I would tread very lightly because I think there's more where this came from down the line. And he's going to be talking to mom about what you did with that car. And it's going to just cause more relational drama down the line. you just got to be prepared for that if you choose to do this i'm out yeah i'm out what about taxes rebecca i'm out if i were you i wouldn't do this this stinks well you'll pay sales tax on the vehicle yeah and if you're registering in florida it would be the florida sales tax on vehicles that's right so you'd have to factor that in to the equation. I'm so sorry. Yeah. Would there be a tax just on her cashing this bond? Will there be a tax to me

if it says POD in my name? Because I don't think that I'm actually on the bond. I saw it and I saw a picture of it and it's in her name with her social security number only. It's my name and social security number. My social security number is not on the bond, but it just says at the bottom P-O-D. It gives Rebecca's name. If she's the owner of the bond, that would count as income on her. And so I would look into that as well because that could count as taxable income for you. It's not going to be a deal breaker, but it's something to think about as you file taxes. I'm out.

We're out. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm George Campbell, joined by Ken Coleman. You've probably heard us talk about EveryDollar. It's our world-class budgeting app that helps you manage money the Ramsey way, and it simply works wherever you are, iOS, Android, or online. And you can start EveryDollar for free and immediately see where you stand with money. It's like a mirror for your finances. It's going to help you get organized, personalize your budget. It's going to help you stop overspending and save more money. And if you're new to EveryDollar, we'll show you a long-term financial roadmap, which helps you track your net worth, your debt-free date, your retirement date, your baby step progress, and more. So go download the free EveryDollar app for iOS and Android,

or go to everydollar.com and get started. Adam joins us up next in Omaha. Adam, welcome to the show. Hey, thank you guys so much for having me on the show. I really appreciate it. Absolutely. What's going on with you? So to get to the point, about three weeks ago, my job was dissolved. I put that in quotes because I was laid off and that's what they told me was the reason. And so I'm out, I listen to your show every day. I've been listening to you guys for years, first-time caller. And I've applied for lots of jobs, gotten callbacks. And now I've been getting, I got an offer in, but it's lower than I was making. And so my question is, does it behoove you to take a lower-paying job while you're still looking or would it be better to either like

maybe get on unemployment or just use your what emergency savings you do have to while you're looking for a job to get some more money in well it currently does work so yeah i think it depends on your financial situation is the answer to that question do you guys have the ability to live off can you live off of her income for a few more months if that's what it took? It would be pretty tight. We'd probably have to sell some stuff. We're maybe set to, and we've gone, we went from Dave from Ish, the full blown. So we've gotten rid of all of our extra money and put it into all the bills that we had. How much less, how much less money would you be making if you take this current offer

than what you were making? How much money less? Over 20,000. Okay. So the question then becomes, could you make that amount of money with a couple of part-time gigs and not take this full-time gig, that's one question. The other question is, if you take this full-time gig that's paying you less, things aren't going to be tight, but would it look bad if you were to move on two or three months later? Is it in the same field? Is there a negative for you taking this current offer and then moving on maybe a few months later? No, and that's something that my wife had brought up was, is to take, it's outside my normal field. I'm retired IT, military, and it's going to be, it'll be working with veterans, helping them, helping veterans, but it's not in the IT field.

I'd do it. So it could be something I absolutely love for. I would do it. I would do it. Here's why. It's going to stabilize you financially and emotionally. It sucks. It really sucks to lose a job.

I don't care what they say. It's dissolved or whatever. We know from psychology research that losing a job has the same emotional impact as losing a loved one. It sucks. And getting a job where you're working with veterans, even though it's not in your field of training, I would guess that's going to help with your healing. These are brothers and sisters in arms, if you will. You've got a connection there. I think it's going to stabilize you just by getting back out and working again, not being at home.

I think it's going to help the healing process. That's what I mean by stabilize you emotionally. And we know it's going to stabilize you financially because even though it's a little bit of a hit, and I mean over $20,000 is a significant hit. I don't want to minimize that by saying a little. The point is that it's not going to hurt. You guys aren't going to be hurting. You're not going to be as tight, and I think it sets you up. And then when you get back into IT, because I believe you will,

you're not going to look like a flake at all. You're like, look, I went and helped veterans while I was looking for another IT job. I think it's a great move, George. Yeah, I'm with that. I would take this lower paying job, especially if you've got to make this decision soon. If you don't have time to go look for that better offer, I'd rather you take this one because what we've seen is people call the show and they go, well, when's the last time you're working? Well, it's been six months and I've just been looking for a job. I haven't found the right perfect one yet. And I'd rather you be working in the meantime like ken was saying um you know

adding to the resume having that impact getting out of the house making that money versus just continuing to look for this needle in a haystack now what if it's so yeah something going from like friday one job monday to the new job but what if it's a mind of loving and i know that i've heard Ramsey say, he talked about, well, and I even heard you guys talk about if you can make more, go to help get a bigger shovel.

But what if I end up loving this job and it's not the biggest shovel, we can still make it and we'll still have, our margin will still be somewhat decent to get out of debt within two years. The key here is to not slow down your gazelle intensity.

And so if that means picking up an extra side job on top of that to get out of debt within two years. The key here is to not slow down your gazelle intensity. And so if that means picking up an extra side job on top of that to get out of debt by your debt-free date you guys had in mind, that's fine by me. I agree with George. What I would tell you is if you love this veterans job, you know what you do? You go get yourself a freelance tech job, IT, because you're good at it.

You're freelance. Yeah, I've been doing it for 25 years. You're very good at it, very connected. So, yeah, I think George is absolutely right. I just pivot and I go, I stay in the veteran's job, serving veterans. I love it. And I'm going to make some money in IT on the side and get out of debt and get the emergency fund funded.

And I think that's a no-brainer. And then once you're out of debt and you're in a better place financially, you get to make the call. Do I drop the side job? Is this enough to keep our bills going and help us accomplish our goals? So thanks for the call. All right, let's go to Jordan in Irvine, California. Jordan, welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi, thanks for having me. Yeah, absolutely. How can we help?

So wanting to know if it makes sense to sell our current home in California, which we still have a mortgage balance of about $650,000, use that equity that we've gotten from the appreciation and the California house, rent it out, and then take out a second mortgage loan for a new home that we'd potentially be moving to and living in? Well, I'll tell you which one sounds more stressful. Option B. I can probably guess. Yeah. Double mortgage, trying to be a landlord, long distance, all of that is going to not really give you a smooth move. And when you land, you're not going to have as much peace as you would if you had no payments in the world and you got to then save up. And if you wanted to buy an investment property in your new location, you can do that because you don't have a mortgage payment.

And so that would be the time to do that. But if you said, hey, I want to buy two houses at once, we'd go, gosh, that's crazy. And so that's essentially what we're doing here. And I understand that we can get starry-eyed at the numbers of, well, I could rent it for $3,000. I'd more than pay for the mortgage. It sounds great on paper, but the paper doesn't reflect reality of the hassle that it can be to do something like that while having two mortgages and having to cover all the repairs, maintenance, bad tenants, you name it. Sure. And I assume even if we look to have one of the property management companies where they take 10% of the monthly rent, still going to have the headache, still not worth it. Is that your opinion?

Yeah. And I don't think there's been a call on the show where we said, yeah, go ahead and keep it, just be a long distance landlord. In almost every case, and if we could go back in time, I'd tell you, don't do investment property until you can pay cash and your primary home is paid off. And so this helps you sort of have a fresh start. You're going to have a home paid for in cash. That's incredible. What a great way to kick off this move that you guys are making. And I don't think you're going to look back with a regret at the money we could have made on the rental. Sure. No, that always sounded makes sense. One man's opinion. Ken, do you think anything different here? I know Ken, he loves, he's like, I don't sell it. Don't sell it. Yeah. I don't disagree with you. Okay. I think you're absolutely spot on here.

I've just seen too many where people said, we kept it as a rental. We thought it was going to work out. I thought your metaphor was strong where you just said, we'd never tell you to buy two houses. And I think financially it's the same thing. I thought, what do I add to that? A magnum opus. You dropped it and I went, okay. I just wanted to make sure.

No, I think you're right. You look pensive over there like, oh boy. I was thinking through it. I was thinking through the motivations behind all of it. Patience is what I was thinking, but I think the financial advice is great. I would agree with you 100%. Wealth is patience. I'm more of a tortoise, Ken, and some people find that advice controversial these days.

You know what tortoises are? Financially risky. That's true. They're steady. But they make it. They always make it eventually. You look like a tortoise in that shirt, by the way, today. I don't know if that's a compliment, but I'll take it.

This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm George Kamel, joined by my friend Ken Coleman. And we're taking your calls at 888-825-5225. It's a free call, and you can make it if you so choose. If you can get through to our friend Christian, screen the phone calls, he would happily let you through, and we can try to help with whatever situation you've got going on.

Mike is in Phoenix up next. Mike, welcome to the show. Hello, how are you doing? Doing pretty well. How are you? I'm doing good. Thanks for taking the call. Like listening to you guys. And I'm surprised I got a call in or, you know, was able to get accepted. So that's cool.

Welcome. Yeah, thank you. So throughout my life, been a pretty good saver. Followed Dave Ramsey's path and was at Baby Step 4. But currently, it's not looking good. Purchased a house last year and found out that it's filled with mold. And it's pretty bad as far as options. So right now my family, we're looking at possibly having to walk away from the home just because

kind of ran out of options and just, you know, I like, I love listening to you guys all the time. So just figured, you know what, maybe they might have some advice on maybe some next steps to take. What are your current walk-away options?

What does that look like? Short sale. Just because, you know, foreclosure would be an option too, but short sale is definitely a better option. How much damage is it? Are you getting quotes on what it would take to remediate or fix it? That's correct. Yes, it's pretty extensive.

I'd be so underneath, upside down in the house if I were to do the repairs. Is it everywhere? Tell me, paint the picture. Yeah, it is everywhere. We do suspect that there was fraudulent activities going on in the home prior. It was, you know, it was hidden pretty good. Not pretty good,, hidden really well. And you've got a professional mold inspection already done?

Correct. And a hygienist. And, you know, I did all the proper precautions pre-purchasing the home. And the home inspector found a minor spot, you know, in an area that wasn't even in that general vicinity. So, you know, that's kind of, you know, sometimes you'll find that with purchases. So, you know, he figured, all right, you know, that's not, you know, we could deal with that. But then after moving in the house within just a few weeks and things started to show up, you know, that weren't in the area of concern and just started getting real concerned. So at that point, you know, I had a mold

remediation company come out and do an invasive inspection just because home inspections are non-invasive, as I've learned. So you're telling me, though, the seller knowingly concealed this mold problem and provided false information. That's what we're suspecting. If that's the case, I would be going to a real estate attorney. I think you could have a case here. What did they say? We've already gone down that path.

And then the other thing is just my concerns. Like I want to speak with you guys in regards to, you know, more information. I've just been kind of nervous just because there is a process that I have gone, you know, down some of the routes that you just discussed. So that's one of the things, you know, that I don't want to say the wrong thing or you know what I mean? Sure. I mean, I don't think you have any recourse here

except legal recourse. Right. I'd rather you fight this thing. And in the meantime, you're going to have to find a different living situation. I wouldn't be living in that house with my family. Right. But I would be looking at all the options and seeing your legal rights are going to be the big piece of this equation to see if they'll, you know, compensate to basically gut

this home and do the mold remediation. Right. And yeah, just for, for buyers, you know, I really am. I'm like, I'm a nervous buyer now. Like I would, buying the next home is going to, is so nerve wracking. Well, you got some trauma now. Well, let me say this. I ran into a situation with our current home and it was a crazy situation. We were just doing some basic remodeling and found a wall with a good amount of mold on it. And it was coming from an area off of the roof that had not been flashed properly. And so once we figured it out where it was coming from, then we were able to address the situation.

And it costs a lot of money. I mean, nowhere near what you're dealing with but speaking to you moving forward i mean a really good inspector and you're checking for mold comes from water so where was the water coming from and and you've got some experience now so yeah and it's from fraudulent activities too that we suspect that it's not a natural experience that homes go through what does that mean that's my trip where they know we don't know what you mean are they spraying the walls on purpose i don't understand what that means so as far as what we what we suspect is you know uh growing okay so they have so they have, it's not a greenhouse, but they were treating it like a greenhouse, an extra moisture to grow illegal.

Yeah, that's the worst aspect. Alright then, so my friend, let's focus on the future here. Alright, I need the future, like my future self. Let me tell you something, you have all the evidence in the world from these remediation companies that there is mold all over the place. I me tell you something. You have all the evidence in the world from these remediation companies that there is mold all over the place.

You absolutely have got to... You find the right lawyer who sees the basic evidence as we've heard it, and they get rewarded. When you get rewarded, I would absolutely get a bulldog on this and fight it. I need a...

What I've been learning is it's not pro bono. That's the other thing. Nobody not pro bono, too. That's the other thing. Nobody said pro bono. Do you have money to pay for a lawyer? Personal injury lawyers get paid on the back end of situations, and so I guarantee you can find a lawyer who goes, we got something here, and I'm going to take these clowns to the bank, and I'll get paid nicely.

Yeah. You sound like a wounded dog, and i get it oh yeah but listen but like you you gotta fight for this i do you don't have any other option don't take it laying down you got you were you were a victim here go find a lawyer who sees it is going to go to the mat for you. Yeah, definitely. So what's the total mold remediation cost? Oh, that's hefty. We're looking at about three, over three. That's just remediation. That's not rebuild. Over $300,000? Yeah. Oh, yeah. We're not going to do that. What's the house worth?

I don't know if I believe that. 1.1. It's worth 1.1. It's a big place? Yeah. And it's totally covered in mold. They found it in every wall. Infested.

Oh, gosh. So basically rebuilding this house from scratch, it sounds like. Like bulldozer time. Golly. Yeah, I would fight this. This is big enough that it's not a, it's a stupid tax, we're just going to pay it. There's no way. Do you know the previous owners?

Unfortunately, yeah. Are they reputable people out there in the community, and this was a side thing? Yeah, probably not. They're not? reputable people like out there in the community and this was a side thing huh yeah i would yeah probably not they're not probably not i wouldn't right yeah yeah you know what i mean well but i mean that's my point is if we pursue suing them like can they even come up with it exactly that's what i'm dealing with too that what i've heard is that i put a lien on you know the home and as you guys know uh being well versed in finances and mortgages and homes and what

and such the mortgage company gets first so um they're getting paid before you do man that is it you know mike mike mike i'm so sorry you're going through this man this is just a bummer all around i we are not lawyers but i hope you find a bulldog and you fight this thing and you call us back with some good news man we are wishing the best for you in this situation this is the ramsey show Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm George Camel, joined by Ken Coleman. We got a lot of fun stuff happening in the Ramsey Solutions store, including a new book from Jade Warshaw.

It's a quick read called Money's Not a Math Problem. It comes out December 5th, and you can preorder today for just $10. You'll also get access to a live online Q&A with Jade. On top of that, our friend Rachel Cruz has released a wonderful kids book that is beautifully illustrated. It's called I'm Glad for What I Have. That's also available for pre-order now. And the other things you can get on there is the new Goal Planner for 2024, featuring some of our Ramsey personality friends. And of course, we've got a Cyber Monday sale being extended because we want to make sure you guys can get all your shopping done. And we've

got our best deals of the year happening at ramseysolutions.com. You'll also find my new book, Breaking Free from Broke on there, questions for humans, conversation cards. There's just something for everyone. And so go check it out and stock up for the year. I know a lot of you love to give out the total money makeover as gifts. I do that like, you know, I had a pest control guy over, we start talking about finances and I just, I always have them on hand to go, hey, here's a book. This book changed my life. I hope it helps. Hey, you know, shameless plug here. Don't forget your co-hosts, you know, you're starting out the new year. You're thinking about, hey, I want to do where I finally want to pursue this work that I love.

I want to chase the dream from paycheck to purpose to get clear career assessment. That's right. Don't forget those products, George. And many of the audio books are on sale for as low as five bucks. So if you prefer to listen to Ken. Five dollars? As low as. Man, I'm not making any money on that.

Dave, what's he doing? Listen, I don't call the shots, Ken. I just report the facts. That's right. So ramseysolutions.com slash store is the place to go. Max is up next in Chicago, Illinois. Max, welcome to The Ramsey Show. Good afternoon, George, Ken.

How are you guys? Doing well. Good. How are you? I'm not too bad. What's going on? So my question is, and I called in about three years ago and Dave just kind of hammered me and I never really had an answer to my question, but I'm back in a similar situation. So basically how do you handle financing the retention of a lawyer and obviously ongoing

fees as you go through, you know, whatever it was. Originally it was a divorce. Now I'm going through, you know, fighting over my kids. So just how do you maintain that? I mean, I just blew through my, what I had saved as my emergency fund on the first lawyer. And it's like, now you're back to zero again. And it's like, where do you go from there? I mean, they obviously wanted it immediately. How much have you spent so far on legal fees?

So divorce cost me $60,000. So I paid that all off back to no debt, no credit cards. And that's how I got through that one was I ended up getting two credit cards, paid them all off, got back to zero, had $8,000 saved, heading towards my $25,000 or about $20,000 in emergency fund that I needed, and that immediately was gone. So I've just dropped about another 11, going into a second lawyer now since June. And is this custody battle soon to be over? What's the timeline look like? I mean, is it just never ending?

There's not. And that's the, I guess, issue with the system is they tell you that it's over, but then anybody can go back to court and, you know, file fees or whatever and paperwork, and then it just obviously just compounds time over time. I mean, the divorce is bad enough, but when you're fighting over your kids, it's completely different. Now, how is your ex-partner dealing with all the legal fees? Because this seems never ending. Are they just trying to get you to where you give up because of the fees?

Yeah. And basically, I think hers are just being paid for by somebody else. So I don't think it's an issue for her. So obviously, it's an issue for me. So what are the ongoing legal fees per month? So initial, my first retainer was $7,500, which like I said, about wiped out what I had saved. And then obviously, you know, working through that, he's higher than normal, but became highly recommended, had him since June, just really wasn't doing much for me. So went through that, just hired another one. And this guy was $3,500 retainer. And then basically, so went through that, just hired another one. And this guy was a $3,500 retainer. And then basically once you get through that, you're getting hit with a $3,500 every time you go through it. So we're talking $3,500 a month?

And it depends. I mean, like the $3,500 lasted five. Okay. So, again, it depends what you're doing, how many times you're going to court, how much paperwork, how much contact you have with your lawyer, every phone call, every email. I'm just trying to find an average here so we can figure out how much you need every month in order to cover this and how long you can go for at this point. And that's, I guess, the hardest thing is you don't know because, you know, when I looked at that, when I looked back at the divorce, there's no way to track it because some months it was like very little. And then other months as you're getting, you know, things sent in from the other side and then you have to respond to them and documentation and putting things together and

meeting with your lawyer. Then the next month is, you know, you've doubled what you spent the first month. So it's just, it's almost impossible to track. Well, is there an end in sight? Is there like a court date where we got the judge and I'm, you know, is there an end in sight? Is there like a court date where we got the judge? And, you know, is there some end in sight on this as to when this gets resolved? I mean, at this point, it's gone on six months. We just extended it into almost January. And that's the other part of it is. I think the lawyers need to have a come to Jesus meeting and go, guys, we got to come to a resolution here.

Why? Lawyers need to have a come-to-Jesus meeting and go, guys, we've got to come to a resolution here. And obviously the downside is that she just wants me to give up, right, and it's my kid. Or just find some compromise. It may not be, hey, one person got it all. What's the custody right now? So we settled after the divorce. We settled 55-45. Okay. And no child support.

She made more than I did, no issue. So, you know, lead three years forward, I'm making more than she is, and she wants full custody and child support. So basically I would not see my kids at all. Listen, neither one of us are saying you don't fight for your kids. I'm not saying that. What I am saying is this kick in the can down the road. I think you've got some good instinct on this and she's trying to bleed you out. And so we stopped that. So we

fight that. We go, no, we're not doing this. We're not kicking it to January. Why do we need to, why do we need to push it to January? You know, it's, this is the deal. This is what the previous settlement is. I would be saying to your lawyer, to her lawyer, like, we're not doing this. Let's get in front of a judge. The judge decides anyway. We have been three times. That's part of the issue is that they just, okay, we're going to follow up. And, hey, it can't be 20 days later.

It's a month and a half later. And, you know, this is when they got time. So the next hearing, yeah, trust me. So the next hearing yeah trust me so the next hearing is in January yeah that will be one that I will need to go to is in December but it will end up in January

well here's I don't want to get down this rabbit hole but I think you got to fight and I think George is right you got to go I have at least a ballpark and I think you tell your lawyer look this is what I can do this is realistic right, you know, you got to go, I have at least a ballpark, and I think you tell your lawyer, look, this is what I can do. This is realistic. I don't need to, you know, we don't have to respond to everything. If the next thing in front of the judge is then, then that's what we do.

At some point, you've got to take control of this as much as you can. And financially, you got to go work. Yeah, you might need to go get an extra job just to cover these fees. But do not go into debt, especially compounding month over month, to try to resolve this for the next year. That's not a solution. So how much do you make? It'll be about $120 this year. Okay. So I would just factor this into the budget.

Take the average of what you've been paying. Maybe you just divide it out over how many months you've had a lawyer. All right. And really need to be budgeting about $1,500. That might mean I need to cut expenses. That might mean I need to go get an extra job in order to cover this through January. But be honest with your lawyer and say, that's it. After January, I'm tapped out, man.

We got to come to a resolution here. And I know that it's easy to say from the desk, but we also can't just kick this another six months because you're going to be 60 grand in debt trying to pay this off for the next three years. Again, yeah, I follow you. So I wish we had a better answer, Max. It stinks. There's not really a beautiful magic scenario we can just lay out here that solves all of this. This is just messy. And this is what it looks like when marriage becomes a business transaction and things get rough. You know what irritates me, George? The lawyers, they ought to go before the judge and go,

hey, judge, we know you're the final say on this. What do you need from us? This gentleman can't keep doing this. At some point, the judge has got to have some stinking common sense and go, we're not going to break somebody financially over a custody battle. Doesn't seem like this is hairy enough to warrant all this garbage. No, sir. Come on. Where's our common decency? I'm just glad I'm not a lawyer, Ken. Come on. Where's our common decency? I'm just glad I'm not a lawyer, Ken. I think we're in the right field. Although you would have made a great lawyer in another life.

It's not too late, Ken. Don't get great. It's not too late. Things don't go well for you here. There's still time. Hey, that puts this hour of The Ramsey Show in the books. I'm George Camel. He's Ken Coleman.

We'll be back.