The Ramsey Show - App - Should We Downsize Our House? (Hour 3)

Episode Date: August 24, 2023

🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Pods Moving and Storage Studio, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. I am Ramsey Personality, Rachel Cruz, co-hosting today with my friend and Ramsey Personality, Dr. John Deloney. And we are answering your calls, and it's a free call anywhere in the country at 888-825-5225.

All right, first up this hour, we have Chuck in Madison, Wisconsin. Hey, Chuck, welcome to the show. No, you're supposed to say, what's up, Chuck? That's my good throw-up joke for the day. What's up, Wisconsin. Hey, Chuck. Welcome to the show. No, you're supposed to say, what's up, Chuck? That's my good throw-up joke for the day. What's up, man? Sorry, Chuck. Hey, that's all right.

Hey, thanks for getting me on. My wife and I are big-time listeners to the show, but we're going through a little bit of a, we're not on the same page, but something we wanted to get your take on. Perfect. We're the perfect people to ask. Rachel and I agree on everything, Chuck, so we got you. Cool. Okay.

So anyway, my wife Jamie and I started the – we went through Financial Peace University, started at the end of last November, and we've been working the steps. We finished step two the middle of last month. Congratulations. Debt free. Yeah. Yeah. We paid off about $40,000. Awesome. Yeah. And so we're working step three. We're building our emergency fund. You know, we got, you know, we're getting there. But anyway, the dilemma is my wife and I have different views on what to do next. After we build the emergency fund, she would like to start looking for houses, sell our house and downsize, you know, buy something that we can afford, obviously.

And have a lesser mortgage, but have a mortgage. And my thought is, I really dig the idea of being, like, just hammering away at the house we live in. And having it paid off, I'm not sure how long that would take, maybe two, three years. And then having all that money afterwards to go buy whatever else we want, you know. And I don't know. I'm not. My wife's super smart. She's super efficient.

You know, I love her. And I'm not trying to win because I know at the end of the day, I probably wouldn't win. I think I won, but I didn't win. So I just want to hear from you guys what you think. Yeah, okay. Tell me your current house. How much do you guys owe on it? We owe $148,000 on the house.

$148,000. How much is it worth? It's worth about $350,000, $360,000. It could be worth more. I'm not sure. Yeah, and how much do you guys make a year? $132,000. $132,000. Okay.

And her big reason to sell the house is, what's her number one reason? She just wants to get out of debt that much faster? She doesn't like the house? Why does she want to move? No, she loves the house. It's bigger than she would like. She would like less cleaning. I mean, we both clean, but loves the house. It's bigger than she would like. She would like less cleaning. I mean, we both clean, but she does, you know, more just because I'm out in the field a lot working. Yeah. Not in the field, but, you know, out on the boat. And yeah, she said we'd have less to pay off if we, you know, because we're going to because we'd make some money off the house,

and we'd have less of a mortgage. We'd have a mortgage, but less of a mortgage. She's right on that. Your idea of I want to be debt-free and not owe anybody anything is noble. That's awesome. She's trying to tell you, hey, I could expedite that. It doesn't sound like the money's the issue. It sounds like you love your house.

I do. It's a great house. I mean, and the truth is we moved from this house. We lived in a house. I had two daughters I raised on my own for a long time. And we had about 900 square feet. And we moved to a house that's really nice and big. So it is, excuse me, it's a little emotional for me.

Yeah. This house is the signal to the world that you made it. You bounced back. Is that right? Right, right, right, right. And you have your wife who you love telling you, hey, honey, I love you. We made it. Yeah. Let's go be yeah yeah that's it i mean that's it and and i know we'd land on her feet wherever we were

wherever we end up i know we'd be okay um together um but it's hard for me okay so that's really the big question is what why this house plays such a role for you. I mean, it does for many reasons. Right. Yeah. Right. So how much of like Chuck's identity would just die a little bit if you guys moved to a smaller home? Like what does that just do to you?

Good question. Yeah, I mean, I just think it would just be a little ego deflating yeah let me let me tell you something like hold a sign like we're okay we're actually going to be debt free completely let me tell you something happened to me this is embarrassing and it's the first time i've ever told this publicly okay yeah so i have been chasing for my whole life. My sister was one of the most brilliant people you can possibly imagine. My little brother missed like two questions on the ACT or something. And then I was the dumb football jock. Okay.

I was the dumb kid in the middle. And I had been chasing with all of my heart. I want to show you that I'm smart. I'm smart too. I'm smart too. And I kept going to school, I kept taking out loans I kept getting all these certificates and achievements spent time at Harvard, I went everywhere

trying to get all these external indicators that I was smart and then I took a job at Ramsey and I'll never forget my onboarding day with the head of HR's name Armando, he's awesome and I said hey where

do I send all my transcripts and my degrees and he looked at me and said I'm not here I don't need them and I said no no but like what do you like where do I send my my certificates because they're in really fancy frames and he was like hey we've already hired you man like uh we hire people who can do the job well and hey listen i was i didn't know what to do i i was stunned at how much my identity was wrapped up in being able to prove to people that i had this class one time right i want to tell you this it took some time unwinding it i can't tell you how free i am of all of it my wife loves me and my kids are healthy and they love me and that's about what i need wow i want to tell you if you will do that work of walking through that house room by room and

praying over it and saying this is where this memory was and we made it and then go to the next room if you can untether yourself from that however many years you have left on this earth you will run free freer than you can possibly imagine because now i don't care now i don't care man i just don't care yeah does that make sense yeah amen brother yeah and chuck i don't want to throw this like wrench into the beautiful thing john just said but let but let me just, I just want to say, as we get off the phone here, that like you guys aren't in a dire situation. You don't have to sell it. Right.

So if you guys keep it, you can, yeah, you can pay it off. Your wife's like, Hey, we, I don't really want this big of a house, all of this. So it's more of your reasons of why. And if your reason of why is staying, because it's just unhealthy and Chuck wants to feel like, Oh my gosh, I've made it. That's not a reason to stay. And if she's exhausted from cleaning it, it's too big. She's like, oh my gosh, I've made it. That's not a reason to stay. And if she's exhausted from cleaning it, it's too big. She's like, we can downsize and be so happy.

It'd be a challenge for you, but I think it's more of an emotional play than a money play. Either way, you guys are fine. You're fine. Stay in the house. Financially, you're fine. Move. Financially, you're fine. You're fine. But it's more of a question of why. Why are we staying? And the why is not sounding like the healthiest. Unhook yourself from those extrinsic markers, man. They don't matter. Thanks for calling, Chuck. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I am Rachel Cruz hosting this hour with Dr. John Deloney and taking your calls. If you'll do us a favor, you guys, and share the show, that would really be very helpful because so many of you are new on YouTube or podcasts

and getting to spread the word of the show is so helpful, not only to get the show in front of more people, but ultimately what that leads to hopefully is, you know, the idea that people are now gaining control of their life, whether it's their money, their relationships or job, we just wanna spread hope. And the more people that listen, hopefully the more hope that is spread.

And the best way you can do that is by subscribing, leaving a review, and again, forwarding maybe some of these episodes on to your friends and family. It would help us so much. All right, up next we have Jordan in Greenville. Hey, Jordan, welcome to the show. Hi, how are you? We're doing well. Thanks for calling.

How can we help? All right, so I'm married. I'm 23. My wife is 21, and we have a six-month-old son. Oh, congratulations. My wife is a stay-at-home mom. Oh, thank you. My wife is a stay-at-home mom, and so I work full-time and take care of both of them.

I make between $55,000 and $65,000 a year because I'm a mechanic, so it's flat rate pay. And we have two car loans. So I have an $11,000 car loan and a $9,000 car loan. And we're in baby step one right now, but I'm getting a big paycheck at the end of the month, so we should have that done by then. Great. And then I want to see basically what's the best way to pay off this debt and should I sell the cars and get one car that we can pay cash for? Because we only really need one car since my wife is a stay-at-home mom. Yeah, yeah. Well, Jordan, one of our big goals is to get you

out of debt as fast as possible because your income is going to be your largest wealth-building tool. Your income is going to be the thing that's going to help make you more money down the line to be able to do anything with your life that you want, hopefully, and be generous and all that. So freeing up these car payments is going to be one of the next step that we're really going to focus on, like you mentioned, for Baby Step 2. So, I mean, the numbers are not completely out of whack, but I will tell you, you know, talking to Jade Warshaw, one of our other Ramsey personalities, her and her husband Sam went down to one car for a season, and they were like, we just want to get out of debt as fast as possible. And for some people that's, hey, I'm going to take on an extra job. I don't know how much you can cut. Lifestyle wise, Jordan, you may not have a ton. You guys may be just living right,

you know, where you are, but if there's anything to cut and get extra money to throw at this debt, but I think upping your income would be the probably the best step and that may be working nights that may be working weekends or or yeah do you sell do you sell these cars get one car for a while that's not awesome but it runs and then you guys save on the side up for a car because you don't have these car payments like how many what's the car payment on the eleven thousand dollar car a month well with a three hundred and eleven dollars a month okay two hundred and thirty six okay smaller loan yeah so i mean like uh yeah i mean i mean you're yeah you're looking at golly 550 freed up a month in car loans of what you could save to continue to replace it right because i think

about cars because you know you can you can sell a car you can put some savings on top step up in car save on the side keep stepping up you can work your way back up to cars so i'm wondering have you kelly blue booked these by chance i'm just curious what they're worth so the eleven thousand dollar car is a older toyota 2009 and it's worth. So the $11,000 car is an older Toyota 2009, and each of the cars are worth about $1,000 less than what we owe, is what I figured. Okay. So either way, we'd be not incredibly upside down, but sort of.

Yeah. So as a flat rate mechanic, are you allowed to go work at another shop on Saturdays and Sundays? Are you allowed to do work at your house? So right now I work six days a week. So I work about 60 hours a week by choice. Most of us work about 50, but I've been working Monday through Saturday. And I'm looking into maybe picking up an extra shift for like a retail store or.

Just putting some headphones in and driving uber here's what everybody i know that has done this successfully has sat down with their spouse and had a season of sacrifice and what that would mean for you is you're gonna miss some big moments and there are little moments but you're gonna miss some playing in the backyard time. And you had this picture, I'm going to be this kind of dad. And what I would tell you is the greatest gift you can give your kid is your presence. And there's a caveat to that. It's a non-anxious presence. If you are home and stressed about money and you and your wife are anxious and you're sitting apart from each other on the couch that's not the kind of presence that's great for your kid and so it's better to sacrifice if you and your wife sat down and y'all mapped it out and you said hey if i take a retail job i deliver pizzas i drive for uber whatever on the way to work on the way home from work i pick up another

shift um i work overtime whatever it is and i do that for nine months and we're done we owe nobody anything and we've got part of our emergency fund completely packed up i'm telling you right now being a dad on the other side of that that nine month commitment would be worth it and you'd hate every second of it and it would stamp into your soul i will never borrow money again yeah absolutely yeah does that make sense? Yeah, that makes sense. And that's my big thing is like, I just, I hate the burden of knowing that we can only save not a ton. I mean, occasionally I get a good bonus that lets me save a little bit. We've only just recently gotten to this point where we're really serious about budgeting and we have the every dollar app good so especially being on only my income the idea that i can get us

debt free so that we have more margin to where we can have some peace in our house yeah amazing yeah so jordan i mean looking at your numbers i'm like okay you're going to be two grand upside down right a grand a piece per car so if you guys took out you know um an eight thousand dollar loan two grand for the difference that gives you six grand to go buy a car and be a one car family for a season uh i mean that's eight thousand versus twenty thousand right so that gets you out of debt faster i'd rather be working towards eight grand than 20 grand and keep these cars the cars cars are not crazy, though. It's not one of these that like, oh, gosh, you absolutely have to sell them. Your numbers are not that extreme.

But again, we find the people that go the most extreme, which that would be it. Selling both cars, getting a beat one beater, going down to a one car family, get you out of that debt and up on level grounds faster. And then you guys be, you know, you're saving up for probably half of an emergency fund, half of another car. If you got, if you know, if your wife's like, all right, it's been four months, I need a car.

You're saving up for, yeah, you're saving up for a second car and your emergency fund. And you just kind of keep trucking along that way, right? I mean, that's it. So it's basically how fast you guys want to get out. And the fastest way would be to sell the cars and take out a small loan to get a to get a beater and that and that's what you're working or you choose to buckle down and say hey we're going to pay these off it's gonna be 20 grand of car debt how long is that going to take us so i would map it

out i would sit down jordan with your wife and you guys map out. Did you say you guys have a six-month-old, right? Yeah, he's six-month-old. Yeah, so I would map out exactly a very detailed timeline, honestly. It helps me when I see information in front of me. And I would say, okay, let's say we went with plan A and we sold the cars, all of that. We'll have eight grand we have to save up. We have to get out of debt for. How many hours am i going to

have to work how many days is that how many saturdays like map it out jordan all the way and then say all right and then if we want to buy a five thousand dollar car for you how long is that going to take to save up all that like map out that situation a and then map out situation b we keep both cars but we're going to work hard and pay them off and pay off this 20 grand how long how often do I have to work? How many hours? How many days? And you guys pick your scenario, right?

You're not, I don't think either one's right or wrong, but you just say. The only thing you have to do in that conversation is be honest. Yes. I can't breathe with owing this money. Yep. Is I don't feel safe being at this house at a single income house and owing $20 something thousand on these cars. You've got to be honest.

And that's hard for folks to do sometime at that meeting. Yeah, that's right. When your wife says, well, I don't want you gone that much. Okay, you've said what you want. And I hear that. And I need to be honest with you. I can't sleep at night. I can't sleep.

Yeah. And I'm pacing the house while you're asleep. And you don't even know it because I can't believe I've put us in this position, right? So everybody's got to be honest. And for everybody listening, when Rachel said go down to one car and you thought, oh, but that would screw up nap time for... Yes, we know.

We know. It'll mess up everything. And it will free you forever. Yes, that's right. Absolutely. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I am Rachel Cruz hosting this hour, Dr. John Deloney, and we are taking your calls. Up next, we have Jodi in Milwaukee. Hey, Jodi, welcome to the show. Hi, how are you? Hi, we're doing great. Thanks for

giving us a call. How can we help? Hi, so I currently own a condo with my mother. Oh no, oh no. I don't even know what you're about to say, but oh no. Yes, so I want to get it in my name within the next year. And my grandfather wants to give me $15,000. But my mom said I have to spend 100% of the $15,000 renovating the condo, which I don't think it should be spent that much because I purchased a condo. We purchased condo under market value, but only $8,000 under market value. So I feel like to spend $15,000 in renovations, I don't even know if it would resale for that much. Yeah. How much did you spend on the condo? So it's a one-bedroom condo. We spent $66,000 and they're selling for like 72. Okay. And you're with your, and you, you took out a mortgage. Is it just your name on the mortgage? No, it's both of our names. Both names. Whose names are on the deed?

My mother's. Your mom's. Okay. Yeah. So I'm telling you this, Jodi, Rachel, you tell me if I'm wrong, but I'm telling you this, Jody, for the sake of your soul. And if you happen to have kids, their soul and your relationship with your mom long term, I would do what I could to sell my part of that or to get out of the deal or to walk away. Because it's going to collapse your relationship with your mom and a one-bedroom condo for $72,000 is not worth that. There is no condo worth your relationship with your mom. But this is just going to be the beginning of it. Yes.

Do you feel that, Jodi? Or would you say, no, John, everything's great. We have a great relationship. It's fine. Yeah. It's been a little difficult um but she's telling me where to spend my money or what needs to be renovated i pay a hundred percent of the mortgage yeah she helped me get the car yeah no no no no then we're selling a hundred percent of that

of the condo if you're paying for it what is she contributing to it um well basically i didn't have much of a credit score so she she kind of put in her name for me and said I have like a year and a half to get in my name, but I pay 100% of the mortgage and HOA fees. But she lives there. Yeah, I live here. She doesn't live here. Oh, she's not living with you. No. Oh, okay. So you live in the condo? Yes. Okay okay so you need to refinance and get her name off the mortgage correct yes okay the issue is i want to refinance and use the money my grandfather wants to give me but she uh yes she doesn't get a say she doesn't get a vote yeah that's the complication she just became his uh poa like just a couple weeks ago.

Then listen, if your mom is going to steal the money that your granddad earmarked for you, then walk away from that relationship. She is opting out of relationship with her daughter if she steals the money that was earmarked for you. She doesn't get a vote in that money. Your granddad did not leave you money hurt you money for her to tell you what to do with it but run all your purchase decisions by your mom he said i love my granddaughter i trust her she's been really special and i'm gonna bless her with fifteen thousand dollars and you want to spend fifteen thousand dollars to take your mortgage which is smart which is genius thank you so no i i if your mom steals your money i would walk away from my mom

okay and i listen i am not saying that lightly i understand how devastating that is to say out loud and to hear why does she care so much jody why i mean i don't understand it's not like you're saying i'm gonna go to europe for fifteen thousand dollars and have the time of my life what What's her reasoning? Do you know? I have no idea. She comes to my house and tells me what needs to be replaced. First, she's going to refinance in both of our names.

I don't know if she's going to try to do a cash out refinance. I don't know her plans, but she just kept saying, well, let's just refinance in both of our names for now until you can get in your name. No, no, no, no. No. Yeah, I think, Jodi, I think there's going to be a really blunt,

kind, hard conversation with her. And John's the perfect one to be sitting next to me to tell you how to walk through that conversation. But you need to have some very clear boundaries with your mom. And I think you can be very kind about it, Jodi, but I think you need to say, Mom, how old are you, Jodi? I'm 27 think you need to say mom how old are you Jodi I'm 27 okay Jodi you're 27 mom I'm 27 years old I is this is this

too passive-aggressive John but I would be like you're a total vocal tone tone is yes it's like I'm not passive-aggressive is this too kind because if I'm Jodi and my mom is doing this because her mom I would think your mom's not a malicious person she probably is thinking I'm helping her she's played this role in your life's not a malicious person. She probably is thinking I'm helping her. She's played this role in your life for 27 years. And I think the conversation is, mom, I appreciate you wanting to help me. And I appreciate your input and what you say. And you know what, mom?

You're probably right. You're saying I need to replace my microwave. I probably do. Thank you. But mom, I'm 27 years old. And I'm going to start to stand on my own two feet, which means I don't want input for you right now. There may be a time and a place in life that I open that door back up

because I do appreciate you and who you are. But right now I'm making my own decisions about everything. And so when you come over, I'm not going to allow you in my condo to tell me what to do. This is my condo, and I want you to respect that. And when I go to your house, Mom, I don't want to tell you what to do. I don't want that relationship. So that's the boundary I have to set, Mom.

And another part of that boundary is this money that Granddad has left me, and I'm going to use the money that he left me to refinance into this name so that you're off the mortgage and we can have a more clean relationship because I'm scared that this is going to be a fallout mom. I want to do this to protect our relationship, right? Is that too kind or is that? Because I want to respect your mom in it. I think the key here is everything is about you, not her. I want you to be my mom, my business partner and I'm struggling with how you're my business partner because we both signed this deal and you want your business to look like this and I want it to look like this and I am feeling my relationship with my mom is getting

in trouble and it's not worth any of this and so I'm going to take that money and I want to move this house into my name and your mom that's her job is to come over and say well you should fix the curtain that's fine but i'm not doing any of that stuff if i can't afford it and if i don't want to because it's my house and so i would i when you start lobbing grenades because you're doing this and you keep telling me this then she is has to go on the defensive right she's got to defend herself and then this thing gets into a mess and so i would just sit down with her and say i i i need my mom back and i don't want to be business partners with you so no you're right rachel you're right oh thanks john your approach is the right way um but honestly you said she's not malicious this is bordering on malicious this is bordering on a

mom who can't let go am i right yes i'm her I'm her only child, so she has issues with that. So there may be some magic in you taking her out for coffee or for breakfast and putting your arms across the table and holding your hands and saying, you did a good job. You did a good job and you raised me, a strong, powerful young woman, but I need to start making some of these decisions on my own and learn how to do this. Or I can't keep going to the gym and you keep lifting the weights for me.

I've got to start lifting weights on my own. And sometimes letting a parent know, because there's a lot of anxious energy, they're trying to help and help and help. And prove and probably, yeah. And it's like, hey, whoa, whoa, you did your job. You job you did so good now i just need my mom i don't need a business partner i don't need a complaint partner i don't need a buddy i need my mom and um that may not work but the next step is i'm putting the house on the market and i'm moving or the next step is

um if you steal money from me that my granddad left me then we're gonna have some other issues you see what I'm saying? So Rachel's idea is perfect. Okay. How do you think she'd respond to that, Jodi? Not well. I have not tried to have conversations with her before, so we'll see.

Oh, shoot. I want you to think of it this way. If you hold your boundary after you are clear about it and she violates that boundary mom i do not want to talk about x i don't want to talk about y i'm not going to do this and she chooses to force that on you she is the one opting out of relationship with you not the other way around the boundaries aren't what's going to divide you it's going to be her choice to either violate or to uphold those boundaries that you put out there and she's an adult and she gets to make those choices yep Yep. Jodi, thanks for calling. I hope that helps. This is The Ramsey Show.

Our scripture of the day comes from 2 Corinthians 9.8, and God is able to bless you abundantly so that in all things, at all times, having having all that you need you will abound in every good work and today's quote of the day is by the great and wonderful maya angelou she writes nothing will work unless you do golly she's the best so good man so Ah, man. All right. Well, we're going to go to the phones. Next up, we have Mary in Minneapolis. Hey, Mary. Welcome to the show. Hi.

Thank you. Yes, absolutely. How can we help? I guess I'm just wondering, I'm buying a home. I don't know if it's a better idea to buy one or to rent. And then I can go more into detail about my situation. Yeah. What's the deal? Okay. Uh, so I'm getting a divorce. Um, sorry. And I'm, it, you know, I think that's so funny. People say that it, I mean, it's, it's okay. It really is.

Um, it's mutual. It's fine. It is what it is, you know. But I'm just trying to figure out with my situation going on, like, if it's a better idea to rent first or if you think it could be doable to buy a home. Okay. Like, by the beginning of maybe 2024. It doesn't have to be like immediate but yeah i don't even i don't know your financial situation but i would recommend six six months to a year of no major life decisions after this and you can say it's mutual all you want i know how what a mess that process is even when it's amicable it's a mess and the death of that picture i had like unwinding that it just

takes time. And so I don't know. You can work with Rachel through the numbers, but I would not buy anything for a season. Yeah, where are you currently living, Mary? Chicago. Okay, I mean, in a home, are you moving? What's your current living situation?

Oh, I'm living with a parent at the moment. Okay, and will you be staying in the Chicago area then? Yeah. Just so I can save up enough money to hopefully afford a home by next year. But if you think, I don't know. Yeah. Okay. So, um, do you have any money saved? I have about 1500 in savings. Um, yeah, I, I don't know. do have a roth ira obviously i'm not going to use it right now sure okay what kind of debt do you have um i did buy a vehicle uh it's funny that he says that you shouldn't make any like major life decisions because i i made one kind of on a whim because that's why i tell people don't do that yeah I know well like okay so we leased a vehicle

together before we were married so it was under both our names for two almost three years and um I had he was a little pushy on making sure his name was off of it before we got divorced and so yeah no I made I tried my best to make it happen just I needed a vehicle in order to get to and from work and that lease vehicle I wouldn't have been able to afford it yeah um so you took out a loan for how much uh about twenty thousand twenty thousand okay what other debt do you have uh that is it actually that's like the only debt yeah okay and how much money do you make a year about 50 000 50 000 okay um so on a whim i'm curious i know you didn't call about the car but i i would be curious if you kelly blue booked it what it would be um i literally i bought it about a month and a half

ago now um so i'm in the contract, you know, whatever. But yeah, no, I Kelly Booved like that. It's worth about $22. Okay. Yeah, I would. So I know you called about the house. And here's the deal. If I was in your situation right now, I would not buy a home.

I would rent somewhere, not only because of the life change you're going through, but also financially, because I want you to have a fully funded emergency fund of three to six out of this car loan, and you, you know, you're going to make two grand on it and, you know, save up a little bit and get not a great car, but you know, $6,000 car or something to get you to and from work and what you need. That's going to lower your debt amount significantly to be able to get out of that pay that off, save up a big chunk of money for an emergency fund, and then save for a down payment. So you're still a little ways off. Not crazy. It's not too far-fetched. But right now, yeah, in your situation, Mary, I would rent. I think that's a great option. Just because home ownership, it's so expensive. I mean, anytime anything happens,

it's up to you. And it always seems to be when you buy a house, eight months later, the heating and air goes out and then the water heater. It's just, there's a lot of big expenses. And when you have debt and no savings, it creates a burden and a stress point that could have been avoided. So if I were you, I would be renting and saving up for paying off this.

I would be paying off this debt. I would be saving up for an emergency fund and then a down payment of at least 5% is what I would put down. And Mary, did I hear you say you're in the Chicago area? Yeah, as of right now. All right, so September 15th through 16th, me, Rachel, Dave Ramsey,

several of us are gonna be in Chicago doing a SMART conference. It's an all day event. It's a Friday night into Saturday and we're going to run through all of it. Relationship stuff, mental health, work stuff. September, it's coming up. Money, money, money. Three weeks.

I'm going to hook you up with two tickets. You and a guest are going to be my guest and you can attend on us. Is that cool? Oh God, that's awesome. Yeah, that would be sweet. All right. So hang on the line and aj austin will get you hooked up there and uh we'd love to see you there yeah for sure yeah that conference will be a good kind of jump start to to this new chapter of your life mary you know of starting out because um big changes like that are it's hard it's difficult yeah and you just want to start doing so much so fast and you find yourself in your parents' basement with a car note and a, I don't know what we're doing.

I know, a lot. You've got to sit. Absolutely. All right. Let's go to George in Washington, D.C. Hey, George, welcome to the show. Thank you very much. How are you guys? We are doing well. How can we help? Great. Good deal. So real quickly, I know I only have a couple minutes. A number of years ago, a family friend, I'm actually her uncle, and she refers to me as her uncle, and I call her my godnie. I had told her sort of half casually,

half seriously that I would help her, you know, I would actually get her a car when she got out of high school. But back then, her tastes were like into beater cars and like less expensive cars, and I didn't think it would ever amount to this. But she got out of high school, but back then her tastes were like into beater cars and like less expensive cars. And I didn't think it would ever amount to this, but she got out of high school, ended up getting married. Life goes on. And she's now asked about a car. My wife and I, two and a half years ago, when we got married, you know, offered her a 15 year old Lexus. It was a cream puff with a hundred K miles on it. We would take care of all the repairs if there were any that were needed and she was livid and annoyed about it uh you know kind of in my mind a spoiled brat

that's it hey it's in my mind too everyone's mind in america so good god almighty yeah maybe not hers though but anyway she doesn't get a vote so my question is and i i've had a call with her mom and her and and i said well you, you know, I would help, but I'm not going to be buying you a two-year-old car with 5,000 miles on it for $20,000. That's nuts. So, you know, how do I approach this? What, you know, what do I say to her?

What do I ask her to take in? Or am I completely off the hook if she turned it because she turned down this other car? I mean, yeah. I mean, in a sense, you guys offered her a car. But also, George, I would sit down with your wife, figure out, hey, we have this amount to help her towards a car if she wants to use it towards a car or this amount to buy a car.

It's whatever you guys can financially do that is wise and you feel good about. So if that's $7 seven grand, that's great. You go find a seven grand car and say, hi, sweet grand niece. That's not even my real niece. We talked about a car. This is where we're at financially. If you would like this gift, we would love to bless you with this gift.

If you're going to give me the middle finger and hate it, then God bless and fly and be free. As the great Jay-Z says, brush your shoulders off, man, and just walk on. George, you're a very honorable man. And I think if you feel like you want to stick to your word, you guys figure out together, you and your wife, what is the best amount. But I mean, however she responds is how she responds.

And by the way, there's a huge difference. And you don't have to even do this. You're not even obligated for it. Between telling a high school kid like, hey, I got you. And then after high school, she's like, no, I'm good. And then after college, and then she comes back 20 years later and she's like, hey, remember that time? I know.

And by the way, I want it to be red. It's so true. Good God. Anybody who turns down Alexis. Oh my gosh, George. I don't have the words. I don't have the words. Thanks for calling.

Thank you, America. Thanks to everyone in the booth. John, great show today. Thanks for calling. Thank you, America. Thanks to everyone in the booth. John, great show today. Thanks for listening. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Rachel Cruz. If you love the show and want a deeper dive on your money journey, we have a weekly newsletter that gives you trending and helpful articles

and tips on following the Ramsey way. your money journey, we have a weekly newsletter that gives you trending and helpful articles and tips on following the Ramsey way. Just go to ramsesolutions.com today to sign up for our newsletter. Again, that's ramsesolutions.com to sign up for our weekly newsletter.