The Ramsey Show - App - Should We Pause Paying Off Debt? (Hour 3)

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Our phone number is 888-825-5225. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, host of the Dr. John Deloney Show, author of a couple of number one bestsellers. The latest is Building a Non-Anxious Life. He's my co-host today. Open phones, 888-825-5225.

Josh is in Huntsville. Hey, Josh, how are you? I'm doing great, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? I knew you were going to say that. John, how are you?

I'm even better than that. Well, thank you so much for taking my call. I really appreciate and love what you guys are doing to educate the population on so many levels. So thank you so much for that. Thank you. What's up, man? How can we help?

I'm kind of at a crossroads. I'm 27 and I no longer have to work. That's not exactly what you think, but I'm at a crossroads. Do I go back to school for free and get paid to do it? Do I enjoy this type of retirement, or do I just get a passive job? I mean, where do I go with all this?

That's a little bit vague. It sounds like you're out of the military. Yes, sir. I served in the U.S. Army, and life didn't go as expected, and I got a lot of injuries. So that passive income I talked about, that's where that comes from. So you were 100% disabled? Sure, yeah, we'll say that. Okay, so what's your income off the military?

So it's non-taxable. It's $4,400 per month. Okay, cool. Are you single? No, I'm lucky. I'm married. Okay, good. What does she make?

Her gross income is about $36,000. Okay. Go ahead, Dave. At $86,000 a year, you don't have to work anymore. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, pretty much. Okay. All right.

What are the natures of – by the way, thank you for your service. And I'm sorry you were injured in the course of serving your country. We appreciate men. I'd do it again. We appreciate men men and women like you what's the nature of your disability josh uh it's it's a long list i got like over a thousand pages of documentation but it's both physical uh some mental i need a total hip replacement i I'm only 27. Bad knees. My back is all tore up. So when it comes to employment, it's a desk job. And I was a loan officer for a long time. How's your emotional state?

It's ongoing. It takes a lot of work to overcome some of the things you've experienced and seen in life. I bet. I'm better than I used to be. I bet. Well, good for you. You still working on it? I work on it every day probably for the and seen in life. I bet. I'm better than I used to be. I bet. Well, good for you. You still working on it?

Yeah, I work on it every day, probably for the rest of my life. Outstanding. I like that attitude. Good for you. Okay. Well, I think you're asking the wrong question, man. Can I challenge you to ask a fourth question? I love questions.

Go for it. What do you want to do for the next 60 or 70 years of your life? You know, that's the darndest thing. People talk about retirement, and they wait for retirement to enjoy their lives. Living around the house has been cracked up. You know, I've cracked up, as everyone says. No, it sucks. It's terrible.

It's terrible. Yeah. Man is designed, woman is designed to do things. Couch potato is not a natural state. Yeah, it's not a natural state. So, yeah, John's on to something here. So I think you start asking yourself, okay, chapter one was Josh was in the military,

saw some stuff, and got the hell beat out of him in the process. Chapter two is Josh takes the income and the free education from that chapter one experience and goes and becomes a hero in another area. So let's what's chapter two. That's what that's the question. It's an encore. You know, like when they when the band does a really good job and the audience is standing and cheering so the band comes back out and the curtain comes back up after they've already played a great concert that's the encore

right yeah that's you dude what's your encore and can i tell you my dream for you is when you turn 50 and you and your wife are celebrating your 25th anniversary, that one of the lesser impressive things about you is your military service. That's my challenge to you. Yeah, that you went and changed everybody's life doing something else. Or you went and built this thing doing something else. Or you went and did, and you're known inside your own head and inside your group of friends and people who see you from the outside looking in. You're known as something other than what you're known for today. You're a hero already.

You've already got that checkmark. Well done. But now there's a whole other thing. What's the encore? So you've thought about it. What do you want to do? What do you want to do? You've thought about it.

I don't know how I can top my military. Oh, easy. I do know I like business. Easy. Okay, you like business. A billion-dollar company. Yeah. I was a millionaire by the time I was 26, but all the property that I owned just about

was lower-income property. That's a nice way of saying I was a slumlord. Uh-huh. That was my first chapter. I was a millionaire by the time i was 26 that's pretty cool how can i top that yeah how can i top that well i did many times over a lot more rewarding being a slumlord i'll just tell you that so um not like you were a slumlord i'm not saying you that that's not you josh but i'm saying that you know how can you top being a millionaire by the time you're 26

it's tough you can do it you know and the beautiful thing for you is you got a check coming in every month. And so it doesn't. And they'll pay for you to study to be whatever this next thing is. That's right. You can go get a degree in counseling. You can go get a degree in banking. You can go be an engineer, architect. All those are sit-down jobs.

And all of those in some shape, form, or fashion can become work at when you want to work or how you want to work. And that's just four I just read off the top of my head. You can be any number of things. So here's what we're going to do. We have a guy in the Ramsey suite named Ken Coleman that studies careers and studies people finding meaning in their work and teaches people how to do those things. He's got a couple of bestsellers and he's got a career assessment tool. And I'm going to give it to you for free to say thank you for serving your country. And I'm going to give you the book that goes with it.

And I'm also going to send you his book, From Paycheck to Purpose, which is what we've been preaching at you for the last few minutes because we think you're impressive. Thank you. I really appreciate that. Is that cool, brother? Life comes very fast. Tell me why you're choked up.

You mentioned finding a new purpose topping my military career uh sometimes i struggle with a lot you know you lose friends before they're even 21 and you're like what do i do with my life if i don't do something great if i don't find happiness or purpose i feel like i'm just wasting it compared to my friends. Here's what you get to do. You get to get up and tip the barista and have a hot cup of delicious coffee, and they don't get to do that. You get to go for a walk. It's going to be slow because you're hips and knees, but you get to go for a walk. You get to see a sunset.

You get to live life and see beauty, and that's where you start. And I'm with you. I think you have an obligation. You've got to live a life and a half now because those guys didn't get to i think you're right but it doesn't mean you have to go make a bajillion dollars or else you've you've wasted it it's not true every breath you take is the breath they don't get to take so keep going man yeah the challenge the definition of success here is intentionality that's right be intentional and we're going to give you some tools and help you do that you call us back anytime you want son The definition of success here is intentionality. That's right. Be intentional. And we're going to give you some tools and help you do that.

You call us back anytime you want, son. We love you. We appreciate you. Hold on. Christian's going to pick up and take care of you. Hey, you guys. Health insurance costs are only moving one way, and that way isn't down. And if higher costs aren't enough, the wait times to see your doctor are longer,

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So learn more today and join at chministries.org slash budget. That's chministries.org. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Thank you for joining us, America. Selling a house the Ramsey way makes homeownership a blessing instead of a curse. When you buy a home the wrong way, it makes you broker. That's why they call them brokers. So, I mean, you need to buy a house in a way that causes you to. You've never heard that, John?

No. That's the oldest old man joke I've heard in a long time. That's the best dad joke ever. I've been using that for 30 years, man. That's why they call them brokers. That's fantastic. Yeah. Seriously, I mean, when broke people buy a house, it makes them broker.

That's what happens. It's a problem. We see it all the time. And so getting yourself straightened around and then getting with a good real estate agent that knows what they're doing to help you find the right house and help you sell your home if you're trying to do that. And in a weird market like this, this market's weird. Interest rates are up. People are buying houses and prices are going this this market's weird interest rates are up people are buying houses

and prices are going up it's weird and so it's not like the market went down it didn't we told you it wasn't going to by the way so if you want to find the top agent in your area that we have vetted and that we trust to be this and i've had my real estate license since 1978 and i trained the team that does the vetting here because i don't want to put my name ramsey trusted on these agents unless they actually know what the flip they're doing and here's an idea if you're a real estate agent you ought to sell a house occasionally like you know your uncle who just got his dadgum license and he thinks she ought to list your largest asset? I don't think so. I think you ought to have somebody that sold like 60 houses or 100 houses last year,

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They're our endorsed local providers for your local city, your local neighborhood. Olivia is with us in Houston. Hi, Olivia. How are you? I'm doing good. How are you guys? Better than we deserve. What's up?

Okay. So kind of a lot going on with my situation right now, but I might possibly be becoming a kidney donor for a family member, and I guess I just need to know, like, does this put me in storm mode, or how do I best prepare for this situation? Wow. Impressive act of generosity. Yeah. Tell us about the story.

What's going on? So my aunt's been dealing with the kidney disease for a few years now. And one of her kidneys is completely non-functioning anymore. And the other one is about an 11-12% functionality. So she's on the donor list and none of, like her daughter is not a blood type match and her husband and her sister are, but because of other health conditions, they're not candidates. And I don't know, it's just been on my heart to try to find out.

Are you a match? Oh, you don to find out if I'm a match. Are you a match? Oh, you don't even know if you're a match. So I just found out I am a blood match, but I still need to undergo all the other testing because it's pretty thorough testing. They want to make sure you don't have any other pre-existing conditions. Mostly they want to make sure your blood pressure is good and that you're not diabetic, but there is further testing. I'm just waiting on them to call me back to get that set up.

But I know that once I undergo that testing, things are going to move pretty fast because of the percentage that she's at. So I'm just kind of wanting to make sure I have all my doubts. So assuming the testing comes through, have you made the decision 100% to do this? I have. And, you know, I just want to be able to make sure that i can get all my questions answered with the doctors but i've pretty much made the decision that yes i want to move forward with this you know assuming everything is good to go well the

second question then i would learn about if i'm you is what's the downtime associated with this and um okay go ahead i was just going to say it's a six-week recovery and i've been doing What's the downtime associated with this? Okay. Go ahead. I was just going to say it's a six-week recovery, and I've been doing kind of my reading and my research on it so far, and this is one of the things I'd have to ask the team, the medical team, but I know it's a six-week recovery. I don't know if I need to fully take that full time off of work just because I sit down all day,

but I also don't know how that's going to go with my recovery. So I'm expecting it to be the full six weeks for sure. Yeah. Okay. Is your aunt and uncle in a position to help out with some of your bills while you're pulled off? I'm not sure. Well, that would mean no. Well, I'm not sure because I know that for sure as far as the actual procedure goes her

insurance pays for everything i don't know we're talking about your lost income yeah do they have money to give you so i'm i am married and my husband you know has his income so i think with his income alone we're good i mean his income essentially pays for all the bills what is on the low end it's like 45 right now but it can be a little over six thousand you've said the words i think i think i think several times here's what is going to be important for you i want you to know i want you and your husband to do a budget that's realistic no i'm sorry i have it it's just it's on my phone and I know. I just want you to be able to rest. This is a big decision you're making and it's one that's very noble

and it's incredible. It's incredibly generous, but you're going into this, well, you kind of, you know, like you and your uncle and your aunt need to sit around a table. You all need to look each other in the eye and say, I'm about to do this thing. Not just have a doctor communicate between you or whatever. You all need to sit down and be the eye and say, I'm about to do this thing. And not just have a doctor communicate between you or whatever.

You all need to sit down and be adults and sit down and have this hard conversation. I'm about to make this sacrifice for you, and I'm grateful, and I want you to be okay. And if there's going to be a budget shortfall in your house, it's not contingent, but if you need that and you think they can help out and they just don't even know, then I don't have any moral problem with saying, this is going to cost us this much for for me to do this and my rent is this see what i'm saying but i just want you to have those numbers i want you to be firm on those numbers and not think like i think

we're going to be okay and i think they don't have it and i think that there's a lot of i thinks i want you just to be concrete going into this thing because there's gonna be a lot of variables regardless of what happens and so i want you to shore up all the variables that are just hanging out there and the answer to your question is yes i would push pause on your total money makeover baby steps and pile up cash starting today okay until you know what's going to happen here and as soon as you know what's going to happen uh if you're gonna if you are going to be a donor and you do have a six week downtime then um you when you come back from that, you push play again. Okay.

Yeah, because you're going into a storm, the good news is you've had a good forecast, and so you can detail out the forecast and know exactly what the storm is going to look like or as close to exact as we can possibly do with a medical procedure but we know okay we're going to have four weeks of discomfort and two weeks at work that is uncomfortable of my so that's my six-week recovery or it's three and three or it's six period don't go back to work or it's i don't know you need to get that nailed down and then you get need to get nailed down what your budget looks like and then you pile and you stack cash because you have a very defined storm that you're walking into of your own choosing and then when you come out the other side of it you just take

that cash and push play and start you know start back on your get out of debt or whatever baby step your own mode get back and moving again on that. And that's exactly how you do it. So, um, you're, you're an incredible young lady. That's, that's pretty cool. I've known a handful of folks that did this. Um, uh, and, um, I think the most unusual one I met was a pastor. I was speaking at his church and, um, he, in his prayer time prayer time um had a name pop into his head and he ended up meeting the guy and um donated his kidney to a perfect stranger wow this name popped into his

head and uh it was about two years later but it was he journaled it all out he had it all written down and uh and he was uh just nonplussed about it he was just matter of fact it's like well that's what you did wow it was like yeah yeah it's not yeah yeah it's what i try to give james to like give us high fives he wouldn't even give us that much less a kidney not a kidney yeah this. This is the Ramsey Show. That's awful. In our self-obsessed society, we're obsessed about our own diets, our own workout routines, our own jobs, our own social media feeds, everything. It's easy to forget that no one can do life alone. And I don't care if you're an introvert, an extrovert, or whatever you want to call yourself, we all have to have a community and a support system to do life with. It's time to shift the focus from doing it all by ourselves to knowing that we can only

be well and whole when we ask for help. Therapy can be a great source of help and support for any area of your life. And if you're thinking about starting therapy, try BetterHelp. BetterHelp is 100% online therapy, so it can fit with your schedule. To get started, just fill out a short online survey to get matched with a licensed therapist. And if it's not the right fit, you can switch therapists at any time for no extra cost. This month, start to build your support system with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash Ramsey Radio to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash Ramsey Radio. Thanks for joining us, America. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host.

You're welcome to drop by and visit with us in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions. Watch the show happen. We do it on the glass every Monday through Friday from 1 to 4. It's free, and it's worth every dollar you pay. So come by and hang out and uh the coffee's free the homemade cookies smells like mama's kitchen when you're walking here the girls over at baker street cafe do a great job and we'd love to have you join us in the middle of that lobby is the debt free stage and jc is on the debt free stage hi jc how are you good how are you better

than i deserve where do you live? Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Ah, very cool. And how much debt have you paid off? $138,494. Good for you. How long did that take? Took just about four years. Good for you. And your range of income during that time? So we started at $113,000 up to about $140,000 and then down to $65,000. Okay, cool. And what kind of debt was the $138,000? So, a few credit cards, a family car loan, and the majority, about $125,000, was student loan debt. Whoa, okay.

All right, cool. Very cool. So, what happened four years plus ago that made you decide to get after it so we had heard um we had heard of dave ramsey several years prior um and then about december of 2019 um we had started attending a new church in Allentown, Pennsylvania, and they were offering FPU. Oh, very cool. I had mentioned it to my parents. They were like, we're going to pay for that for Christmas.

It's your Christmas gift. All right. Way to go, Mom and Dad. I like you. So we started the class in person January 2020. A few months later, we didn't get to finish in person the last few classes because of covid yeah what church was this um faith church in allentown very nice good okay so you went to the class but finished uh finished online yep finished online um you know at first my my husband

was a little hesitant um to begin the class he wasn't quite sure most of the debt was his that he brought into the marriage. And then after pretty much after the first class, he was like on board and he was telling everyone about it. You know, we started just hustling during COVID. You know, a lot of, fortunately, we were able to kind of make some extra money, you know, with side hustles and just working as much as we could. Fortunately, our jobs, you know, allowed us to continue down the path. So I am a clinical dental hygienist and a dental hygiene educator. So I work at the local community college. Ah, okay.

All right, cool. So that allowed you to work extra? Yes. Okay. Yep. Yep. And neither of us, fortunately, had a loss of income during that time. Okay. And you just plowed right through it. Yep. Okay. So tell us the rest of the story.

You can do it. and so i'll just so during our journey um we were able to uh my husband he i have i owe it to him you know he did most of the side hustle work really um he uh built furniture out of old skis which is probably his favorite side hustle he worked at a ski resort on the weekends teaching snowboarding lessons. You know, and then. That's a good side hustle. Yeah, it was a good side hustle. And we got to lead a few FPU courses along the way. Very cool.

And then this past January on my birthday, we were on our way home from dinner and he was in a car accident and didn't make it. I'm sorry. So. How long had y'all been married? Six years. Wow. What was his name? Andrew.

Wow. So this is his debt-free spot. Oh, it's his. For sure. Yeah. He's supposed to be here for sure he is he's here yeah he's here he's supposed to be it's wrong it's absolutely wrong wow wow so uh how proud do you think he is right now that you're doing this this very yeah yeah it's pretty hard girl i'm surprised you did this i have to yeah you really didn't have a choice did you yeah yeah it's a burn it was burning inside of you

yeah i understand is there a funny story he would tell about y'all's adventures i don't know what was the biggest fight you all had about money while you were doing all this oh it was probably him wanting to go do something that we shouldn't oh okay going out to dinner so he's the free spirit oh oh yes big time and you were you were the nerd yes yes i mean he was making lawn furniture out of skis so yeah but they were pretty cool there's i see all pictures of them they're amazing man yeah those are neat those are neat adirondack chairs out of old uh snow skis yeah incredible and y'all have any little ones we do we have a little girl matilda she'll be two in july yeah he's a pretty amazing dad oh the best yeah wow oh and here's matilda okay cool so who is this

that came with you your mom and dad or his my mom and dad okay and then the friends that went through our fpu class no you were teaching the fpu class they went through and got debt free i met him at the break yeah okay yeah wow very very cool so after all of this tragedy and heartbreak, was the whole debt-free journey worth it in the middle of all of that? Oh, absolutely. I mean, thank God you don't have debt. Oh, thank God. Thank God. Yeah. I mean, we were, so we were really, we were within like $15,000 of finishing when the accident happened thankfully um you know with following the baby steps we had our uh our defense um so um you know we were it did bring a lot of peace um knowing that you know we didn't really have to to worry about the finances so you had a good

life insurance policy place in place yeah thanks to xander yeah wow yeah way to go yeah um thanks to andrew xander xander sold it to him but thanks to andrew way to go andrew and hey i've also that's a good dad told widows um and husbands give your your wife the gift of being able to take a few months and just be real sad right and you're able to just look at that beautiful girl man look at that beautiful girl um but you had the opportunity to just be sad right and just grieve and be with your friends and family and community during that like shape shifting moment in your life wow what a blessing amidst an awful storm man well i'm proud of him and i'm proud of you for having the courage to get on here and do this in his honor.

Way to go. She's going to watch videos of this when she's older, and this is how legacies get changed. She's definitely an FPU baby. Yeah, between teaching the class and going through the class, somewhere in there we had a baby. I'm just saying. Okay. That's funny. Oh, very, oh very very good well jc we're proud of you we love you thank you for having the courage to tell the story and to honor him

in the process we honor him as well and uh fabulously fabulously done well a big shout out to andrew amen the legacy he left all right it's jc and andrew from bethlehem pennsylvania 138 000 paid off in four years making 113 to 140 to 65 count it down let's hear a debt-free scream three two one we're debt-free Free! Yeah! Wow. Wow. I'm not crying. You're crying.

Nope, I'm not crying. You're crying. I think my allergy's just acted up. Oh, my gosh. Wow. That's powerful. That's courage and bravery right there, Dave. Well, it is and it just illustrates um that we don't know what we don't know and so stuff as ridiculous as life insurance

is hard subject to talk about stuff as ridiculous as having a will stuff as ridiculous as getting out of debt set your family on a solid foundation because you just don't freaking know. And when people, Dave, come after us about, why would I pay off my mortgage when the interest rate's so low? I don't want to pay off my student loans. I want to put it in the market and do this. Right there. This is why. Right there. Right here. Right there. That little, beautiful baby girl. And we're looking at a mom and a wife that gets to breathe amidst all that pain because they decided as a couple several years ago, no more. Yeah. It's powerful.

Good for you, Jason. Way to go, JC. You're a hero. Absolute hero, Andrew. This is The Ramsey Show. Our Scripture of the Day, Proverbs 14, 23. In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty. Nelson Mandela said, money won't create success.

The freedom to make it will. Ooh, yes, that would be true. That would be true. Natalie is with us, and Natalie is in in columbus ohio hi natalie welcome to the ramsey show hi dave hi john thank you so much for taking my call sure what's up um i am a 21 year old nurse um i am a ramsey follower on baby step two um i've paid off 90 000 in student loans i have ten thousand10,000 left. I'm looking in vice on my situation. I'm dating somebody with a large net worth.

He had a large net worth when we began dating, but his dad passed in June of 2023 and inherited a large estate. We are talking about our future plans, and I'm so incredibly grateful to be in this situation. It's his parents' legacy, but I'm feeling a large amount of guilt for the amount of money that we have access to at our age and the budget that we are talking about for our home and land. I also feel that I'm not contributing anything to the situation, so just looking for some advice.

Well, you're not contributing money on a percentage basis to the situation. That just looking for some advice i can go over you're not contributing money on a percentage basis to the situation that's a fact but you are contributing to the situation you're 50 of the relationship so there's a you know if you only measure the quality of a relationship based on the financial contribution then we don't have a real relationship so this is the financial is just part of the contribution my wife has not had a work has not worked outside the home in 38 years do you think she hasn't contributed do you think she feels guilty no it would be the answer to both by the way not even close she reminds me when she contributes natalie this this natalie this story has plagued you your whole life who told you you're

not enough um no one i think that i just didn't grow up with a lot of money and i just kind of pictured my whole life blue collar that's right right. And I've been through this incredible situation. The money freaks you out. The money freaks you out, yeah. Because when you were growing up, money was for other people, not for you. Right? Yes. And it scares you to death.

So here's the thing, okay? The word guilty is a dangerous um word in this okay i feel guilty you should feel guilty when you have money only if you stole it if you earned it you should not feel guilty if your boyfriend's mom and dad did a great job and left it to their son who they loved dearly he should not feel guilt he didn't do anything wrong and you should not feel guilt for marrying a man whose mom and dad left him a bunch of money and also who had a net worth before that what is the total dollars we're talking about here um so after taxes and splitting it 50 50 with his brother um it's going to be about 4.5 million

and then how much did he have already he when we began dating it was between 1 million and 2 he makes 135 a year and i make 70 okay and so he's going to be he's going to be about 7 million when y'all get married how old is he um he's 32 and and I'm 29. Okay. All right. Excellent. Okay. I don't know how to tell you to be okay with this, because, you know, first thing you do is you say, when my daughters were teenagers, they had this silly thing.

They said, awkward turtle, like a turtle on its back. It's awkward. Can't roll over. Can't move. It's just flailing about. You know what I'm saying? And so if they were having an awkward conversation, they would just say, awkward turtle.

They would just say out loud, this is awkward. And first thing we can do is just say out loud, this is awkward. It's normal for you to feel some weirdness because this is weird. It's not a normal path. Agreed? Agreed. So if we just say out loud, this weird i don't i've never done this before i've never dated a guy with seven million dollars before i never dreamed i would date a guy in all

of my thinking about dating people i never came up with a dating scenario in my mind that was seven million dollars and here i am so this is awkward and weird even better when you got your job making 70 you thought you were rich didn't you totally yes you'd won you'd won i was i was yeah and he makes twice that so he's twice rich and your boyfriend was like hold my beer here's seven million dollars right okay what kind of house are you going to build um we're thinking about one to one point three that's perfectly reasonable out of seven easy easy uh 30 000 on a wedding perfectly reasonable out of seven million just pay cash for the wedding and be um be smart about is there any uh crazy in his family or crazy in your family that's rolling their eyes at you two um they know about our situation, not about specific numbers.

No, I said crazy. I would say I. Is there crazy people in one of your family that are going to roll their eyes at this whole thing? Possibly, yes. Yeah. Okay. And that's running through your head, too. Yeah, I don't want them to.

Yeah. In hillbilly land where I grew up. Yeah, I grew. I don't want them to um yeah in hillbilly land where i grew up in their face yeah i grew i don't care you didn't rub anything in their face they can choose to pick it up and rub it on their own face but you're not i can tell on the phone that you're a kind generous person you're a nurse for a living you serve others for a living you're not going to rub this in anybody's face but but jealous people and envy people in the noble hillbilly culture i grew up in they would say things like you're getting above your raisin. And I'm like, a raisin?

You're forgetting your roots. Raisin? What's a raisin got to do with this? Oh, my raisin. Oh, my raising. Oh, now I got it. Okay. But yeah, it's that same kind of stuff, right? It's envy and jealousy and that kind of stuff. And it floats around in most families, certainly in most communities. And so, you know know you feel that and so the the the tough thing is is that you're gonna have to have you you're not gonna have some money problems that other people have but you're

gonna have some different problems yes and i think that's part of it. I feel like the weight of the responsibility. Good. That's wisdom. But also, Natalie, tell me I'm wrong. It's been your job to make sure everybody was okay your whole life. Yes, and with my job. Okay, and now you're just got $7 million. You're going to be living in a $1.2 million house.

You're going to be married, and the day you get married, you're going to be living in a $1.2 million house. You're going to be married. And the day you get married, you're going to be a multimillionaire. And it's not your job to manage how other people in your family choose to use that and weaponize it against you because you can't. That's not a thing you can even control. You got to let it go. What you can do is to continue to be a person of character like you already are. And you and your husband go build and make an amazing life and be able to be this generous to your kids and grandkids when the time comes. Do good.

Yeah. Just do good. But stop managing the other adults in your life. You can't. Be good and do good. Absolutely. Be good and do good. May I ask a follow-up question to this?

Quick. Quick. I actually— Quick. Yeah, go for it um um i told him to hold off from an engagement until i pay off my debt do you think that that's reasonable no no it's ridiculous no has nothing to do with the conversation you're trying to earn your way into this yeah you try stop earning your way into this perfect Perfect. I'm not a contributor. Yes, you are.

Yes, you are. He loves you. You're freaking Natalie. That says contributor right there. You're not going to make $7 million between now and the wedding. This ain't going to even up. In fact, for the spiritual exercise, I want you to not do that because I want you to feel that discomfort. He's marrying you despite

your financial the terrible financial situation you awful person you yeah he lifted you up oh my gosh come on 10 grand you paid a trillion dollars you're amazing you're amazing thank you yeah he picked you for a reason okay yes yeah because there's no reason i know there's not but there's nothing in here that's gold digging this is the opposite end of gold digging on the spectrum you don't even know what that is probably but yeah the a lady who is trying to marry someone for their money is a gold digger okay you're the opposite end of this it's like you're almost not doing this because of the money yeah you're generous you're kind and continue to love well listen it's you and him look at each other and and anybody that doesn't like it oh well next

there you go trolls live under bridges keep that in mind that puts this hour of the ramsey show in the books we'll be back with you before you know it There you go. Trolls live under bridges. Keep that in mind. That puts this hour of the Ramsey Show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Thank you.