The Ramsey Show - App - Stop Playing the Victim Role! (Hour 1)

Episode Date: June 17, 2020

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. My co-host today on the Dave Ramsey Show, Ramsey personality, Christy Wright. The newly launched Christy Wright podcast, or newly named, was previously the Business Boutique podcast, and now it has expanded, and Christy's talking about a little bit of everything on its third episode this week. Yeah, it's been really fun to see how it's received, because you know how it is with any new project here. You've got all this dreaming and planning, and you think you've got it all together, but you don't really know how it's going to be received until you put it out there in the marketplace.

And it's been really fun to see the response. So many people saying the same types of feedback, man, I really needed this man. This really spoke to me today. And so it's been cool to be able to help women in more ways than just business. We want to help them in their life and not just create a business they love, but help them create a life they love and build confidence in themselves in the process. And it's been really fun. It's just been three weeks, but help them create a life they love and build confidence in themselves in the process. And it's been really fun. It's just been three weeks, but it's already got off to a really good start. Good stuff.

Christy Wright, the podcast, The Christy Wright Show. You can check it out. It's a member of the Ramsey Network, of course, and you'll be able to find it anywhere great podcasts are viewed, Spotify, iTunes, Google Play, whatever. So be sure and check it out. Our phone number to talk today about life and money. We are here to help you.

Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Jonathan starts off this hour in California. Hey, Jonathan, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, Mr. Ramsey, how are you? Better than I deserve. What's up in your world yeah so I just had a quick question um I'm 22 years old and I started a business back when I

was in high school and it's grown very well where basically right now I'm doing these small utility contracts doing inspections specifically in the drone industry and basically get to travel and um do these really fun contracts. Anyways, part of that, though, since I travel so much, is that oftentimes I need to have a vehicle in these very random places around the continent. And being under 25 and without credit cards, it's been very difficult. I've ended up buying several vehicles in random places and then selling them after I leave. But I was just curious if you knew of any rental companies that would offer rental cars, specifically trucks even, to people who are under 25 or if

there's a way to get around that without credit cards. It's not the credit card that solves the problem, it's the age. And so I am not aware of any of them renting cars to people under 25. And I honestly don't know what the policy on that stands for other than the fact that they're afraid that they must have some statistical evidence that uh people under that age uh tear up the car more often uh that would be my guess yeah hurts and i think the dollar the dollar rental place both offer car rentals to under 25 however the required credit cards instead so dollar does not the dollar does not no dollar does not but but here's the thing today i don't know who's going

to be open and who's not hertz went into chapter 11 bankruptcy and so uh but dollar had converted all of their locations except all of their corporate locations which is all of them except a handful of franchised locations, to take debit cards. And that's why we have the Dollar Car Rental Studio on the Dave Ramsey Show, is that we helped them launch that because it was in line with what we're doing. So if they take people under 25 and if they're still open, now I've talked to people like for a week uh here and other places that are traveling that are having interesting experiences uh where you land and you try to rent a car from anybody because people are

understaffed and the cars are they're coming out their ears there's something like 30,000 cars on the hertz lot in orlando can you imagine and four people work just sitting there you know because they've laid off everybody yeah and uh so it's it's just a very you know it's going to be hit or miss in anywhere any kind of rent-a-car thing for a little while all of them are struggling um and so but in quote normal times then Jonathan uh unquote as if there was ever such a thing. But prior to April, Dollar was taking the debit card, and if you say they rent to people under 25, I'll take your word for it, then you would have that as your solution.

Anywhere there's a Dollar rental car, you'd been fine. And as long as they're operating the way they had been, I think, and I've not heard anything to the contrary, but there's not anybody out there renting cars much right now. So not a lot of travel, not a lot of car rental going on. It's very limited compared to the volume, say, six months ago. I wonder if there's something you could do, Jonathan, just to get scrappy, though. I mean, we're really good at that around here where we just start thinking of out-of-the-box ideas.

I wonder if, you know, when you're negotiating with the client, whoever's in that town, if, if transportation could be, they could help you arrange it. Or maybe, you know, I don't know if there's Uber in that town. Like, I just wonder if you could get creative where it's other options of getting around other than just, um, just a real call. You know, when we go do outside speaking, Dave, we have a contract we sent. It says it's going to include these things. You know, I just wonder if he couldn't say like, Hey, like you were having some struggles with rental cars. Do you have solutions? Do you have someone on your team? I don't know. I wonder if you could get creative and scrappy and plan it on the front end so it's not all on your shoulders when you get there to figure it out, but think that through with the client.

They may be able to help you. That's a good idea. And in that same vein, you could just become a corporate client and sign a contract with them to rent from them, and then you're set up. Yeah, then they take care of you. We're also a corporate client of hertz and dollar uh so when we travel all of us and we all travel a lot in normal times um you know it's it's with a hertz car or a dollar car or whatever at one of their products because we're under contract with them and you don't need all the, uh, you don't have to worry about all the other issues and you just walk up and it's on the, it's on the corporate

account. And so that could solve it. If you got signed up for that, Clara is with us. Clara is in Washington. Hi, Clara, your question for Christie and me. Hi guys. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So I have a small business idea and I don't really know how to get it off the ground. So in 2016, I lost 75 pounds. Um, I'm a teacher and I have two young kids. Thank you. Um, I'm a teacher and I have two young kids. And anyways, I've kept the weight off since then. And on a pretty regular basis, I have, like, family, friends, colleagues, you know, come up and ask for tips or advice. Yeah, how'd you do that? That's impressive, yeah.

I keep the keto diet. Anyways, you know, people think it's a fad but i don't know i'm i'm a big fan anyways um and a lot of times i get people asking for advice and i'm a teacher so i love sharing and i love teaching but you know i i've been trying to figure out like how can i possibly like monetize it and turn it into like a monthly coaching or something like that. Um, I, I'm just not, I'm not trained in, I'm trained in teaching and I feel like I have the connection with people in the relationships because people can resonate with, Hey, if she has, if she's working full time and she has two young kids, she can do it, so can I.

But I don't know how to get started with the business side because I have no background in that at all. Okay. That's a great question. I'll tell you what, you hang on through the break so we can give you a good thorough answer, and we'll come back after we make a little money and talk to you about how to make a little money. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Families all over the country are discovering a faith-based and budget-friendly way of meeting health care costs, whether they're anticipated or completely unexpected.

For example, take the Olcheski family from LaGrange, Texas. Jeff and Carice had just celebrated the birth of a new baby boy. Shortly after, they had another expensive medical issue come up. They could have faced a huge financial setback. But thanks to Christian Health Care Ministries, the Olcheskis were spared from a ton of medical bills. As members of CHM, they're part of a group of believers who financially and spiritually Thank you. nearly $97,000 to help the Olcheskis. To be a part of Christian Healthcare Ministries, visit chministries.org. That's chministries.org.

CHM is a proud sponsor the Dave Ramsey Show. Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author of the book Business Boutique and host of the Christy Wright podcast. Make sure you tune into that. We're talking with Clara in Washington who lost 75 pounds and kept it off. And people keep asking her, how did you do that? And she's trying to figure out how to turn that into a business. Yeah, Clara, this is so fun. I love even how you asked your question because you're aware that you into a business. Yeah, Clara, this is so fun. I love even how you asked your

question because you're aware that you're a teacher. So when you say you don't have the ability, you don't have the business skills, whatever you do, you're a teacher. You know how to teach things. And what's really cool is how you're getting this idea to start your business is how I see a lot of people get ideas to start a business. They do something, they have some type of success or transformation and family and friends show up and say, how'd you do it? Teach me. Can you help me? And so on. And so you have an incredible story. I would just give you two things to think about. And then I'm curious with Dave jumping in here. One of the things I want you to think about is what specific problem are you solving through this business idea? It sounds like it's weight loss. That's what you did successfully. You've kept it off. You didn't just lose the weight. You lost the weight and have kept it off. It sounds like

that's what it is. But I want you to really think about what specific problem you're solving for people, how you're helping them change their life. And it sounds like with you, it might be through keto as a method. That's your unique way that you're doing it. But then the second thing that I want you to think about is how you want to solve it. There's so many ways. You could write a book. You could do coaching. You could do a podcast. You could do a blog. You could do a course. You could do an ebook. You could do in-person training, consulting. There's so many ways. The best place for you to start would be the method that is in your strengths and sweet spot. So if you're a teacher, maybe you like being in person, maybe on video, maybe, you know, that verbal communication, maybe it's not necessarily

a book, but it's with people, some medium where you can be expressive and explain that type of thing. So if you think through the unique problem you're solving and you think through the way that you want to solve it, that gives you the two most important pieces of information that you really need to start this business, to take this idea, put some plans in place, and turn it into action. But I'm excited for you

because you already have the skills as a teacher. And Dave, you've talked about this before where someone has called in and they say, I'm a teacher, but I can't make any money as a teacher. And you say, well, there's a lot of ways to be a teacher. I'm a teacher. I've heard you say that before. Absolutely. That's true. And Claire, I think Christy's advice and obviously business boutique is something that you need. We'll send you a copy of her book, Business Boutique, as our gift to help you get this started. The thing I don't want you to do is to try to open a media empire the first day. Uh, just take some baby steps. Um, we've got a sign on the wall

that we can see from where we're sitting across the lobby that says, don't despise small beginnings. Don't despise humble beginnings. Um, it's a biblical phrase, but what it amounts to was that I was coaching counseling, I called it, people with their money at my church as a ministry. The pastor, associate pastor, walked by and said, you need to write a book, to which I said, you have not talked to my English profession. I do not need to write a book, to which I said, you have not talked to my English profession. I do not need to write a book. We need another get out of debt book in America, like Oprah needs another diet book. You know, that was my response to him. And his response back was, yes, but God gave you a unique story with having gone broke and now

having recovered from that. And now you're teaching other people how to get out of debt. God gave you a unique story. And it can start with something as simple as coaching. Just one-on-one. It doesn't have to be a big to-do. You don't have to make it complicated. And it's a side hustle.

Keep being a teacher. And you say, you know, two nights a week I'm going to dedicate, you know, to help people with this. And you sit down and charge them something. It doesn't have to be a lot. You're what we call proof texting your concept. You're putting it out in the wild and learning what works and what doesn't and you will adjust i mean i started with a yellow pad and a calculator and as soon but pretty soon i had budget forms based on what i was seeing all the time and i so i sat down on the computer and typed up budget forms and then ran them off instead of doing the stinking writing them all out every time

on the yellow pad then i started handing those out and then those are in the back of the book and then uh and then i started doing a class. But it started with just one-on-one kneecap to kneecap across the table, helping people solve their problem, utilizing teaching skills and my unique story. It's so cool, too, because all those stories of people you were kneecap to kneecap with were the stories that informed the future book, that informed the future thing. They taught you what people needed. You saw the themes and the patterns and the problems, and you also have their story to tell. So as you create other, whether it's classes or books or

whatever, like we talked about, you'll have more content, more refined content. You've dialed in that messaging and the themes and patterns based on that coaching or consulting or phone call, you know, however you structure it. That's such a good point yeah but you have a unique story you're a walking billboard for your idea i have a unique story i'm walking billboard for getting out of debt i lost everything because of that so it's not i'm not really going to negotiate with you about this issue and my pastor my former pastor had a great saying, used to say, a man with an experience is not at the mercy of a man with an opinion. And so someone that doesn't like your process, all they can argue with is you're 75 pounds lighter.

And you have a, and you did what? Nothing. You just bitch. Okay. All right. So I got it. And that's what people do. They gripe about somebody else who's actually winning and instead of celebrating with them. And so you move on past those pretty quick because you have an experience. Yeah, I love that. All right, Missy is with us in Missouri. Hey, Missy, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave and Christy.

Thank you so much for the opportunity to speak to you guys personally. I really appreciate it. Our honor. How can we help? Well, I have a question. I'm in baby step two and for 13 months I worked two full-time jobs and I was able to pay off over $24,500. And now I'm down to just home, student loan and a medical bill. And in end of April, I went back down to one full-time job. So I'm back down to one income. It's just me. I'm single. And so I started looking at what I could do to get this taken care of. And I reached out to Churchill Mortgage and I reached out to my telecom credit

union here in Missouri. And they could offer me a home equity loan to where I would roll it into my mortgage now to where I could pay off my student loan, get a smaller interest rate, change it from a 30 to 15 year and pay off everything and just have a mortgage, which I couldn't imagine losing this baby Joey of a student loan I've had for so long. It'd be such a blessing, but it's something I've been praying about. I've gone through Financial Peace University and like I said, I've worked my tush off for 13 months trying to get it down. So I just want your opinion. I know you don't recommend usually moving debt around, but because I could lower it down, Churchill could lower it to 3.8.

My telecom credit union could lower it to 3.5. My current home loan is a USDA home loan, and I'm at 4.75 interest, and I only owe just under $39,000 left. My student loan is $33,000, and then my medical bill is about $10,000. So I'm curious, Dave, what do you suggest you... Isn't it interesting that you said you were going to pay off your student loan? Because you're not. I'm not. Because you're not.

You're right. You're absolutely right. I'm not. Yeah. That's the problem. I know. I'm thinking it would give me that boost because I've been tackling this for so long. You've been tackling it for 13 months.

Well, for 13 months it was a full-time job, two full-time jobs, but in the meantime it had been a full-time and a part-time. But I mean, you've actually attacked the debt for 13 months. Other than that, you just lived with it. Yeah. Yeah. How much did you pay off in 13 months? $24,000. $24,561.93. And in 13 more months you can do that again. We don't recommend home equity loans to pay off, in air quotes, debt, because it doesn't pay it off.

It just moves it, and it makes you feel like you did something. You didn't. Interest rate's not your problem, kiddo. Debt is your problem. I wouldn't do it. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Most people's money problems come from not paying attention. That's why before I spend a dime of my money on something, I do the research and make sure it's going to live up to what it claims.

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That's ShadyRays.com, code RAMSY. People are back in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions. Thank you, Lord. Including Shannon on the debt-free stage from Richland, Washington. Welcome, Shannon. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Honored to have you.

And so you're here to do a debt-free scream. How much have you paid off? $30,000. All right. How long did this take? 21 months. Good for you. And your range of income during that almost two years? $37,000 to $42,000. Very good. What do you do for a living? I work in title and escrow. Okay. And what kind of debt was your $30,000? Oh, Dave,

I had everything. I had a pickup. I had credit cards, the box stores. I had tires, everything mixed in there. You were kind of normal. Yeah. If I wanted, I bought it on payments. Pretty much. Yeah. Or if I thought I needed it. Oh, I needed it. Yeah. I was sure I needed it. I understand. Good for you. So what happened 21 months ago that lit you on fire to get out of debt? Tell me your story. Well, actually, it started back five years ago, my senior year of high school. I watched your high school show on my consumer economics class, and I was so pumped. I was never going to have debt. None of that was going to happen. And I came home and told everybody how crazy this idea was. It was Dave Guy,

and I got shot down on that saying like, oh, you got to have a credit score. You got to buy a house. You got to buy a car, all this kind of stuff. Well, fast forward, and I had got the loan on the pickup, I had gotten a loan on the tires, I got loan on everything, and I just bought a house. And Christmas rolled around of 2016. And I didn't know how that was going to happen. I January came around 2017. And I had taken my budget to my grandmother and said, help me. I don't know how I'm going to do this. And she looked at me and said, I don't know how you're eating.

So fast forward to that. He actually spurred it forward a little bit. He was saying how he's going to trade in his paid off pickup and go get a loan on a brand new pickup. And something inside of me was gears are grinding. Like that wasn't quite the right thing that was supposed to happen. So March of 2017, I got started and moved forward on it. Wow.

How'd you find us? High school. You just remembered from high school, I've got to go back to that? Yeah. I just started listening to the podcast and went crazy. Okay. So that guy's still out here from high school wandering around maybe go connect up with him yeah wow so there's something hanging out in your memory back there so you ever called your

consumer teacher back and tell him thanks no he actually doesn't work in that high school anymore i'm not figuring out where he's working but i have looked for him ah absolutely well very cool well for all you teachers out there that teach foundations and personal finance I'm not figuring out where he's working, but I have looked for him. Ah, absolutely. Well, very cool. Well, for all you teachers out there that teach foundations and personal finance, they may not stay on the wagon, but they know where the wagon is after they fall off, and they will come back and find us. Good for you. Good for you.

How's it feel? Oh, it feels amazing. Who was your biggest cheerleader? My boyfriend was an amazing one, and my grandparents. And literally everybody else I talked to. Because if you ask anybody, I never stopped talking about my debt free journey. They all became my supporters whether they knew it or not. Nobody's going to talk you down this time. Nope. You were done. It was going. You were done. You'd had it with the stress. Yep. It was no longer fun. No. Yeah. Good for you. Will you ever go back? No. The house is next.

Good for you. The house is next. All right. You're a professional. You did it. $30,000 paid off in 21 months. What's the secret to getting out of debt? Tell people that are listening.

I had to quit being a victim. I had to take... What were you a victim of? The world was doing this. It was somebody else's fault. Somebody did this to me on and down the line. I had to change my entire perspective. You are in control of where you spend your money on and what you choose not to. I also had to stop keeping up with the Joneses because the Joneses really aren't real.

Like you like to say, the average car payment in America is $500. And I started looking at everybody in the stoplight and I'm like, their life really isn't that great. Yeah. I like my paid-off car. Yeah, lots of the parts of people on Instagram aren't real. Real. Literally. Yes.

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So you just said, none of this is going to work. I've got to take control. Nobody's going to fix this if I don't. Yes, sir. That is a big deal. That is a big deal. That is a big deal.

That shift in mindset is incredible because some people never have it. Some people live their whole lives playing the victim role, and they never consider that there's another way. That's incredible to me that you had that aha moment and then did something about it. Well done. I mean, that's amazing. I kind of think your grandmother might not tolerate victims. No, no, she doesn't.

No. A lot of us had a good grandmother that way she's like yeah it's your fault yeah but it's your fault yeah pretty much you did this to yourself that that's uh that's good it's good to have people that love you enough to tell you the truth yes yeah that's good well done today very. Very well done. So what was the hardest part for you? Dave, I sold my pickup. Oh! Whoa! While you're talking to a boyfriend who's trying to upgrade his. Uh-huh.

I sold my pickup. Oh. Yeah. That was painful. Ouch. But. What did it sell for? Not what I owed on it.

I know. Yeah. I ended up selling it for $12,000 and I still owed $15,000, but I was able to pay it off with cash. Wow. What are you driving? My beater was a 2004 Toyota RAV4 with 200,000 miles on it, but I just upgraded to a Volkswagen 2006 Bug. Hey, there you go. So it's convertible, and I little bop around town a little bit.

And when you don't have any debt, now you can do that. I can. Yeah. Yes. And you can upgrade again and get a pickup later. That's right. It's not like there's a law that says you can't get another one. That's right.

Yeah. Very good. Good for you. Very proud of you. Thank you. Good job, hero. Well done. Well, we've got a copy of Chris Hogan's book for you,

Everyday Millionaires. We want that to be the next chapter in your story it will we want you to be outrageously generous and outrageously wealthy and i think that's on the track for you i think definitely your next chapter you you never again will wait on someone to fix something oh no oh no this is done yes my mindset has been completely reverted good job all right sh right, Shannon from Richland, Washington. $30,000 paid off in 21 months, making $37,000 to $42,000,

and she sold the pickup, but she'll get another one. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. I'm debt-free! Yeah! I love it!

That's how it's done. Well done. Very well done. You know, there is something that happens. I suppose it's chemically even in the brain. When the switch flips and you go, Washington, D.C. is not going to fix my life. Mommy's not going to help me. I'm going to have to do this.

No one's going to do it if I don't do it. And when you kind of, it's almost like you sink to the point you realize the Calvary is not coming. They're not coming, you know? You're going to have to do this. And something, once you settle in on that, it's kind of a sigh almost. And then, ding, here we go. Yeah, it's this weird mix of feeling empowered because you can take the reins. And also a little bit terrifying like now

I've got to face it I was just telling my debt-free story the other day on my show the Christy Wright show we've got an episode coming up where I'm talking about money and taking control of your money and I was talking about having to call my mom when I was 24 and ask her to put money in my bank account how embarrassed I was wanting to be an independent woman in my 20s and not being able to even afford my lifestyle and and I made a decision that day that I was going to change my life. This is even before I knew you, Dave, or had read the book or anything. But then I had to face it. Then I had to map out all my debts and face it.

All these things that seemed like one-offs, I had to lay them out. And that can be a scary thing. But once you can see it, you can tackle it. It's just that initial facing it. And that's what Shannon did. She had debts all over the place. She had to put it on paper, that initial facing it and that's what shannon did she had debts all over the place she had to put it on paper look at it and face it but once you do it you know you can see it and you can tackle it uh but so many people just live with that fear but if you're willing to

face it you can take care of it yeah and it's not like you have a choice yeah um you're either going to live and because victimhood waiting on someone else to fix your life never brings about a good life. No, or being in denial that it's not that bad. You know, some people are just so used to living paycheck to paycheck. They don't consider there's another way. One of our biggest problems is mediocre is really nice. Yeah, yeah. I'm just barely getting by and that's okay.

Mediocre is a really good life. And it's not like you're struggling, really. You're not suffering. You're not at rock bottom. Yeah. But realizing that I've got to fix it and nobody else is going to, it was a breakthrough for me, man. It was an absolute change.

And that's exactly what happened with Shannon. Well done, Shannon. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Please hear me loud and clear. The government is not going to bail you out of your student loans, at least not completely and not without a catch. What they're talking about only impacts federal, not private loans, and you need to take responsibility for what you owe and pay your debt down quicker. Right now, Splash Financial is offering their lowest rates ever.

With lower rates and extra payments, you could just find yourself debt-free in the next five years. Visit SplashFinancial. the Dave Ramsey Show today. Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author. Let's talk to Nathan, and Nathan is with us in New York. Hi, Nathan. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi. How are you guys doing today? Better than we deserve. What's up?

Thanks for taking my call. My parents are both 64. They're retired. And they've kind of had a dream for a long time of, you know, once they hit retirement age to move into a lake house. So that time has kind of come where they're really starting to take it seriously and i just want to make sure i'm giving them you know some good advice if they'll take it okay um so go ahead yeah go ahead i mean what are they paying for the lake house

uh well that's the thing they don't have a set price point they're kind of looking right now though between three and four hundred thousand okay And the current home they live in, are they selling that to live on the lake house? Well, I'm encouraging them to. They've been kind of looking at houses that I think ideally they think that's best too. But as of right now, they've kind of looked at houses that are, you know, kind of three seasonal. They don't do too well in the winter, but ideally they would like to sell their house, yeah, and make this on their primary residence. Okay. All right.

And what would their home sell for? We think around $100,000. It's kind of the best house in kind of a slowly deteriorating neighborhood. Okay. And do they have any money? Well, yes. They do pretty well. They live right now off of pensions and Social Security,

and they also have some money set aside in their IRAs, but they haven't touched any of it yet. How much? And I'm not entirely saying that again. How much? About $400,000. Yeah. Okay.

So we're going to take half of our nest egg and upgrade house. And that's our retirement plan. Well, let me throw this at you, too. That's a little scary. It's a little scary. They have some whole life policies that have accrued some cash value. Together, they're worth about $80,000. And my mom has some inheritance money that she bookmarks from when her grandmother passed away

of about $25,000 that she really wanted to put towards the house. Okay. Well, I would pay cash for the upgrade. Is their current home paid towards the house. Okay. Well, I would pay cash for the upgrade. Is their current home paid for? Yes. Okay. Pay cash for the upgrade or don't do it and definitely got to sell the old house.

There's no point in keeping it. Right. And my advice to them was kind of similar. I thought they could pay cash, although it was kind of risky. But they're kind of really set on they could pay cash although it was kind of risky um but they're kind of really set on taking out a mortgage um and i'm really trying to steer them away from 30 years because who would want to i don't think they should do that they're 94 i don't think there's any circumstance they should do that they should stay where they are before they do that

because here's the thing they're 64 years. The number one cost they have in their budget is housing. Number one cost if you take out a mortgage in your budget is housing. And if you don't have a mortgage, you stabilize your retirement. Their chances of having to move because of financial problems goes up dramatically if they take out a mortgage. Right. And they're destabilizing their whole plan dramatically it's it's going to be really really volatile and so what we find is the people that have peaceful retirements have a nest egg and no mortgages and otherwise you don't have a peaceful retirement you're struggling how do

you tell adult children to talk to your parents that to their parents though because you've talked about this before the powdered butt syndrome where these parents they don't want to listen to even if their adult children are right or have proof or whatever they don't want to hear what they have to say how do you help them do that well i mean obviously you can't make any adult listen yeah you can't make somebody do something all you can do is present a case and um you know i'm not you know here's the problem in the name of being nice sometimes we go along with stupidity and like it's almost as if we've endorsed it with our silence because he's sitting there at the table while they're talking about this obviously yeah and uh whether they're asking his input or not. But, you know, you can you can say,

you know, I talked to a financial coach. He thinks it's a bad idea to take out a mortgage. Matter of fact, I talked to the financial coach in America. Yeah. It's a bad idea to take out a mortgage in retirement. And so, Mom and Dad, I really don't think you should do this. I mean, you're you're grownups. You can do whatever you want to do. I don't care. It's not going to affect me. I'm not going to pay your mortgage. But I think you're going to, you stand a real chance of this dream of yours turning into a nightmare if you do that. And I'm not going to tell you under any circumstances it's going to be a good idea. But then when you start talking about, well, what's the difference in a 15 and a 30? Now you're starting to endorse it. Yeah. When you

start discussing the terms of the mortgage, the terms of the mortgage is I'm not going to discuss a mortgage. It's a dumb idea. And if you guys want to do it, I'm still going to love you. I mean, I love a lot of stupid people, but I'm not going to do that. And so how do you talk about it is you have to you cannot try to convince them based on the fact that you're kin to them, whether it's talking to your grown kids, talking to your mom and dad, talking to whoever.

Just because you're kin to someone, that's not a convincing argument. How much you love them doesn't convince them. So you've got to just say, you know, you've got to use a different voice and a different tact and say, pretend like this isn't your mom and dad. Pretend like this is just an older friend. And say,

you know, you're 64. You really want a mortgage till you're 90 you really want a mortgage at all i wouldn't do that and you know that kind of a thing and then you know they're they're going to bow up and they're going to do what they're going to do but uh but i i would be i wouldn't be passively endorsing this by not speaking up while they talk about it in your presence. You know, you've got to object. You have a moral obligation to object to them doing things that are going to bring harm to them. And then we'll see how that works. But there's not a great way to do it.

It's a problem. Amelia is with us in South Carolina. Hey, Amelia, how can we help hi thank you for taking my call um so i'm i'm a stay-at-home mom i've got three kids um i've always maintained um some sort of income through art um or illustration various various things um but and my husband works really hard and earns good money for our family and he is our main breadwinner but I often feel I'm in the process of growing my business and I often feel stuck or kind of left behind in in being a hobby because his income needs to be made

first in order to support our family so I guess I'm looking for advice on how to like stay confident and strong in growing towards a full-time business when your spouse is the main means of income and all of the time that takes for him to make all of that income usually doesn't leave much time left over. Why does he need time to do your business? Well, I'm sorry. I might have said that wrong. But he works full-time, and then he works after his full-time job. Yeah, and how does that keep you from doing your business?

Running the house with the kids. Oh, you're not having help. Okay, I got it. Okay. Three, five and under. Oh, yeah. I'm with you, Amelia. We're in the trenches, right? We got the three little ones.

I have a lot of, I've heard husbands ask me before, I want to support my wife. How do I do that? And I tell them how to support them verbally, you know, with asking questions, taking interest. But there's also a practical side, like you're saying, of the responsibilities at home. You need time to be able to do your business so this this makes sense i'm curious what does your husband do um he uh works in um equipment sales okay so what is he doing during the i mean if you've got to uh run the household household because he's working a second thing, what's he doing in the second thing?

He does outside equipment repairs and just kind of random jobs. And how much money does that make? He makes good money at it. What's good money? Probably over the course of the year, $12,000. So like $1,000 a month. Okay. And so what are you making at your business?

Not nearly that much. I'm an artist, but I have my first really big show coming up in July. Okay. Christy? Yeah, I think it's a communication thing. I mean, we could unpack this some other time, but really, Amelia, you need to sit down and get on the same page with your husband like you would with the budget, with values, with how we spend our calendar and say, this is important to me. How can this be represented on our calendar just like your job, just like the other things? And just share your heart and your story.

And lay out a game plan to make more than $1,000 a month doing it. Yeah, you need time to be able to do it. Yeah, but I mean, if I had my time, I could do it this way. Right, right, right. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Hey guys, it's George Camel, host of The Dave Ramsey Show video channel. You can now listen to the show on your smart speaker. Just tell your Alexa or Google device to play The Dave Ramsey Show

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