The Ramsey Show - App - Stop Trying To Live Someone Else’s Lifestyle (Hour 2)

Episode Date: November 9, 2023

🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create amazing relationships. I am Ramsey Personality, Rachel Cruz, hosting this hour with best-selling author and Ramsey Personality, Ken Coleman. So give us a call. It's a free call anywhere in the country at 888-825-5225. So first up, we have Damon here in New York City.

Hey, Damon, welcome to the show. Hi, how are you guys doing? We are doing great. How can we help? So I've made a decision about two years ago that haunts me up until today. Okay. Where me and my family, we were renting and we decided that we were going to purchase a house together. And we all put like maybe like $10,000 each to get like 50,000 to put, get the house. And the house was four 20 and at a 2.8%.

So ever since we moved to the house, I haven't lived there because I was still going to school and I was still commuting, spending maybe up to $500 per month in gas. And we decided that we were going to, we made a verbal agreement that we were going to continue to pay even though we don't live there anymore. And I realized how bad of a decision that was. And I want to tell them that I can't continue to pay this anymore, but knowing how my family is, I know Thanksgiving is not going to look the same for me if I tell them this.

And I don't know where to go, and I haven't been able to sleep. I just stare in space all day. Like, I don't know what to do and I haven't been able to sleep. I just stare in space all day. Like I don't know what to do. Oh my gosh. Okay. So who all, when you say your family,

is this like your parents and siblings or who does this, what, who did, what makes up this? Parents and siblings. Parents and siblings. Is someone renting this house right now since you all aren't living in it? We,

we all are living in it, but we all put together to contribute to the mortgage and the bills. But in the past year, I haven't lived there, and I've been paying religiously nonstop every month towards the bills, $600 and another $100 towards utilities, but $600 towards a mortgage. And so you're renting somewhere else? I'm living with a friend because it's closer to my job.

Okay. But I'm not able to save, and my student loans are about to kick in, and I have credit cards, and I just don't know what to do. Well, sure you do. You know exactly what to do. This is, you said you're in a fog. I'm using my words. You said you just stare into nothingness all day long. I mean, this is absolutely shutting you down.

You're not going to be able to live forever with your friend. You're going to get kicked out of that eventually. This is slowly breaking you down. You know exactly what to do. You have to sit down with your parents and your siblings and say, I know I gave you a verbal agreement, but here's where my life is. And here's how I got there. Student loans, you show them everything. I can't afford to pay you $700 a month. And they're going to say, well, then why don't you live here? And you go, I don't want to live here. And you're going to tell them all the reasons why you don't live

there. And it's going to suck, but you're going to have to choose your own livelihood and I mean like as in living well being you're going to have to choose you and you're going to have to have a big boy conversation and own it if they get mad at you for a while and Thanksgiving sucks I would rather have a sucky Thanksgiving or two or three than a sucky life yeah yeah and i think that's what and i also think it's fair because on their end they're thinking yeah well we've agreed to this and you're and you're and you're breaking that but damon but to ken's point it has to like this doesn't sustain this you can't you can't live like this so i think that even saying i understand i'm backing out of what i said but i i don't even have that i don't have the ability i don't have the ability anymore to do this and so

if there's something else i can do to maybe help but i i think too damon like i think owning it is is um a very humble thing to do and i would do that but also for your sake and i would hope your i would pray your parents, which I always think the best about relationship. I'm always like, I'm sure your parents are wonderful. So you would pray. Thanksgiving's going to be wonderful. You would pray that your parents would say,

yeah, we see this in our son. We see the numbers and the situation and we don't want to put that on our son. How old are you? I'm 30. How old were you when you did this deal i'm 28 okay so it's just two years ago do they find it like was the was there going to be a point that you guys would have this like paid off and then you would split the equity like what was the plan the plan was

because we moved to america so the plan was to have somewhere to live and have a family home. And everyone contribute. Will this put them with your parents? Do you know the math of when you do choose to stop paying? Will they still be able to cover the payment? There are enough

adults in the house where they will be able to cover the payment if I stop paying. They will be able to cover the payment if I stop paying. They will be able to pay like maybe 200x and, you know, they'll just have to adjust their spending habits. But one of my siblings already cut communications with me attempting to have a conversation about this. And that's the kind of person they are. Yeah. I'm sorry about that.

I don't make light of that, but I mean, you have no choice. You either choose to not have an awkward situation with them or you choose to have an awful life. And can I say, if they choose to cut off communication with you because of this, that's their choice. You can't control that.

And it would be one of the most painful, terrible scenarios when there's fractured relationships in life. I think it's just, I mean, there's grief in that. I mean, it's terrible. But you didn't choose that. You still want relationship with them. You just can't make a $700 payment

to a house that you don't live in anymore. And that's what you're asking to be out of, not out of the family. And so if they choose to take a different route, sadly, that is on them. Yeah. Where did you guys move from? Where were you guys from originally? We moved from New Jersey to New York. But before, you said we came to America. Oh, we moved from the Caribbean to America.

Okay. Because I do know, too, you know, that certain level of loyalty in your word and certain cultures, right, holds way more weight than others, right? So I know that that sometimes is at play as well um but i do i i would own what i what i signed up for and that i can't fulfill it but them choosing to not communicate with you anymore that's that's their stuff right and if it's not this and if those are the kind of people they are i hate to say it there's going to be something else in life you marry someone they don't agree

with you raise your kids a certain you know what i mean like yeah eventually that that happens but i'm so i'm so sorry damien you are a bad person i i think you were calling for permission we don't have the power to give it to you but i i will tell you that we're in agreement on what you should do and so are you and you need to do this you're not a bad person for doing this and I think you need to give yourself some forgiveness for not living up to what you agreed to and knowing that you got to make a different decision which is the right decision app feature uh that has over four million budgeters is closing at the end of the year and we've been in the personal finance

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It is worth it. We have some different deals that are going on. We even have some EveryDollar webinars that we do to actually coach people and show people how to budget and what this looks like. And you can go to everydollar.com slash, I think, budgeting for that webinar. But make sure, yeah, to check out EveryDollar. Budgeting, again, is a crucial part to you winning financially. And with closing, again, there's going to be millions of people that need a budgeting app. So make sure to check that out. All right, let's go to the phones at this hour.

We got Dale in San Antonio up next. Hey, Dale, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for taking my call. I really appreciate it. Absolutely. How can we help? So I think your screener kind of helped me figure out what my question really is. And that is, I've got a good income. I'm working really hard to be 100% out of debt. Although with my mortgage and being 63 years old, I'm not sure that I'll ever make that happen a hundred percent, but I'm going to work on it. And, uh, the biggest challenge I think I have is, uh, getting my wife on board with all of the aspects of being completely debt-free,

having a real budget and sticking to it and knowing where your money goes. So today I ordered the book, Total Money Makeover. Of course, I've been listening to you guys. We had purchased a new car in 2022, which I'm more than doubling the payments now so that I can get that paid off as quick as I can. I don't have any credit card debt. The only other debt I have is we ended up putting in a pool last year. And so working on get the car paid off, get the pool paid off, and then really hit the mortgage. Luckily, we have a great amount of equity in it, but about half of my income every month goes somewhere, and I can't seem to

find the way to get my wife on board with knowing where it goes and managing that. Okay. Well, getting spouses on board, I feel like is one of the more common themes that we hear a lot. And I would say sometimes the issue more is weighted on that spouse that doesn't want to be on board. And sometimes Dale, we find the issue is actually the person that wants to do all of this, but they are maybe a little controlling and all that. I'm not saying that's you. I'm not saying that's you. But I would ask when you do approach these conversations, what's her hesitation? What's her feelings are negative around it? Does she express why? She doesn't really express negativity. What she expresses is that all of the purchasing that

she's making is for a reason yeah and that every purchase that she's making is with is with absolute a lot of research making sure it's the best value for the money etc but when I walk into the house and I see 15 boxes sitting there on the table that haven't been opened yet and I'm wondering what is all of that um most of the time if I'll ask her something specific uh about well what is that she said I'm not sure I need to check because um I I think that's her full-time job. That's her full-time job. Okay, so there's a couple things.

Yeah, she spends a lot on the family. Yes, and what we find a lot of times is that in a household, sometimes, not always, it's a little stereotypical, but it just ends up being true for a lot of people, is that the woman is the one that usually is kind of the CFO of the household, meaning she's the one that's kind of keeping track of the paper towels and the toilet paper and who needs a Costco run and who's needs to do this right like like that functioning aspect not always but a good amount of time is on the woman and so I'm sure that's the role that she has played to a degree and so I would I would say, Dale, sometimes it could feel, because I'm more of the spender,

my husband's more of the saver. So I actually, in some ways, may relate to your wife getting a package in the mail. And I'm like, oh, let me check the Amazon app. I can't remember what I ordered. So I get that to a degree. Now, I don't want her to be irresponsible or lying or sneaking things around or anything like that. But I would say in your language, I would change the, well, what did you buy? What is this? And it's things pointing at her. And talk about you. Talk about Dale and say, man, sit her down and just say, hey, I'm genuinely fearful that we're not going to have money to be able to retire, to live the life we want, this debt on the pool, our cars. I'm starting to feel the weight of this. I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm feeling stressed.

You're speaking to you and what you're feeling. And that's always my piece of advice for couples is to say your why. What is it? And for some women that I talk to out there, it's that they have to go to their husbands and say, will you help me with this because i'm scared if something happens we're not going to be okay right like there's always that under current that is happening that's causing you to say oh my gosh i have to order the total money makeover book oh my gosh i need to figure out where our money's going so so i would express that to her not in a oh we're walking through the four year and hey i i feel like we should figure this out a true sit down really sitting down and saying I want to map out the rest of our life we have two to three decades ahead of us how can we best do this together and and do this and and really focus because I'm I'm I'm

fearful I'm scared you know whatever it is Dale for you explaining that why and then I think it's always helpful to have a plan and just to show her and knowing that she can change what she wants on it. But to map out some level of a plan just to say, hey, I kind of just did a mock budget. Here's kind of what this is looking like for us to have some margin to be able to throw out the car. Because if we do this, the car can be paid off in 18 months or whatever. And then we can get the pool paid off by the time we're 65. And then we can do retirement there. I'll have to work another, you know,

maybe five extra years to make sure to get where we are. Like at least do some of the legwork and a plan and show her. Cause sometimes the accusation of, well, they don't want to budget. They don't want to do this. It's because they don't know what to do. It's all this theory in their head. But when they see facts on paper for them, not always, but sometimes that's helpful and when

she hears from you when she hears from her husband where you're at you see a plan and the bigger conversation too is dale like i want to work as a team it's been you over here spending this it's me over here and i just i want to do this together and having that conversation does that make sense it does and i'll tell you just to give you one little piece, a couple of days ago, I took a look at the mortgage and I figured out a way that I can pay it off in seven years. Yeah. And I let her know about that and she was pretty excited about it. Yeah. Yeah. I think she's very much open to making it happen. I just don't know the budget that she wants. We talked about a budget, and the budget that she wants, I'm not completely comfortable with.

I think it's a little high. And so I guess we just need to continue working on it. Do you all have every dollar premium? We don't. Okay, hold on the line when we get done with this call because we're going to give you a year of that because i want you guys to sit down together look at your income for the month and both of you dale both of you sit down and plug in numbers and have these conversations go line item by line item and say hey for food and she's gonna say we need eight hundred dollars

for groceries and you may be like what that? That's crazy. We only need 400. And she's going to say, no, no, no. Have you, you haven't done this. Let's look on average what we spend to run this. And this is what it is. You know, so you need some reality too, into her world and what she's been seeing. Yes. But also she can't go and just spend whatever she wants either, Dale.

So there's, there's a balance that you both have to bring to this. So I like you say balance, Dale, here's my advice. I would take the offer at the higher budget. One of the things we teach in budgeting is it takes 90 days, 120 days, sometimes as much as six months to get budgeting right. I would take this offer from her. Okay, I'll do this budget. And it may be a little high for you and you may have to adjust some of your payments on the pool and things like that, but let's just get a budget where we're in agreement. And then we begin to, hey, could we adjust it this month? I take what she's offering right now and I'd work from that. I think she's offered you an olive branch. I'd take it. That's good. That's good. Okay. Hold on

the line, Dale. We're going to give you a year of that. Absolutely. Thanks for calling. Thank you. Welcome back to the Ramsey show. I am Ramsey personality, Rachel Cruz hosting today, this hour with Ramsey personality, bestselling author, Ken Coleman, and the holidays are coming up you guys. And here at Ramsey, we always encourage you all to get some gifts that are going to help people and we always do a $12 sale every year so if you go to ramseysolutions.com store there's a ton of our books I know baby steps millionaires is their total money makeover own your past change your future I think some of mine know yourself know your money I think is in there from paycheck to purpose the proximity principle you want a new year new career come on

you know my kids need shoes my kids need shoes i appeal to you uh we're practically giving these books away no uh it really is a great unbelievable sale and our tribe just goes bananas every year but can i talk about this yes were you going to well i was going to say and also in the store can i talk about the 12 sale it's a few more dollars more. Yeah, but this. The kid's book. This. Where's the camera? There we go.

I feel like David Letterman. Remember he used to do that? Oh, yeah. There it is. This is Rachel Cruz's new book. It's called I'm Glad for What I Have. And look at how adorable it is. Can you tell people who's this little bear?

It's just, well, they don't have names. Oh, they don't have names. No, but the. It's obvious I haven't read it yet. No, it's fine. It's fine. But this isn't my genre. There's squirrels, bears.'t have names. Oh, they don't have names. No, but the- It's obvious I haven't read it yet. No, it's fine. It's fine. But this isn't my genre. There's squirrels, bears, there's whales, there's octopuses.

I mean, look at the art. There's giraffes. Look at the artwork in this. This is great. It's like show and tell time. Yeah, the illustrations. There's a Rubik's Cube in there. This is great.

Kelly, I'm reminded of David Letterman and his cuticle. I don't know if my cuticles are up to shape, but I remember they would zoom in. So those of you who remember Letterman, this is a great book. And I'll tell you why it's great, because it begins a very important conversation about gratitude and contentment that will eventually be a huge deal in how they handle money. And that's what I love. You're getting kids early, just under the core of what money's all about. I know. I know parents out there, if you, I always laugh because the Amazon catalog has come to our house and my kids have circled literally everything in the catalog for Christmas.

And I'm just like, oh my gosh. But it is, it's just the stuff and the excitement of stuff. And I understand that, you know, this, I wrote a book called Love Your Life, Not Theirs, because the comparison game, just getting more, staying on top of it all, the upgrades, the bigger, the better. I'm like, it's the American way of life. And what ends up happening financially is people go down the avenue of debt to get that

and they end up in a lot of trouble. Or on an emotional side, you go down this and you think, okay, if I just get this stuff, I'm going to be fulfilled. I'm going to be happy. This is the thing that's going to really scratch the itch and I'm going to be okay. I just need this thing. And we've all said that and we all know it's not true, but there's something bigger and better out there,

I believe, that actually does fulfill us on a deeper level. So we talk about that at the end of the book, but these little animals go on an adventure to find. It's so cute, and it's easy to read. Can I read just one little thing here? Oh, do it. Across the whole world on the sunny savannah, an elephant said to her pops and her nana,

when I get a toy, it's exciting and fun like anything's possible under the sun. Let's just tuck everybody. I think I saw Kelly not off there. Just story time. And my very soft, melodious voice. Just story time. It's just wonderful, though. It's really cute, and it's a great book.

It should show up under the tree everywhere across America. This is what I'm saying. Thanksgiving, Christmas, y'all. Ramseysolutions.com. It's called I'm Glad for What I Have. Go get it. Congrats, by the way. Thank you, Ken.

Thank you. All right, so we're going to go to the phones. Right now we got Josephine in Vermont. Hey, Josephine, welcome to the show. Hello, how are you? We're doing great. How can we help? So I have a question about avoiding lifestyle drift as my income goes up. I am very frugal because I would love to be able to not work past the age of 50. And I'm on track for that as long as I sort of freeze my spending where it is now.

And I'm always sort of torn because I also would like to live a little better sometimes. Can I jump in, Josephine? Can I jump in really quick? Because I think for our audience, this will be interesting. Are you a part of the FIRE movement or at least on the fringe of the financially independent retire early? Is that what I'm hearing? No. I mean, I know what you're talking about, but my concern, I mean, my motivation is more that my dad died when he was 54 and I work really hard and I would love it to be optional at least. Maybe I'll work longer.

But it feels like you're at the point now where you've got a touch of that movement in you where you're working so hard, you just want to enjoy a little bit of life. And I just wonder if there's not maybe loosen the belt one or two notches. Sorry for that man metaphor there, but it's like you're living so tight and you're squeezed with your time because of the money issue and the work issue. And I just wonder if you can still retire at a young age, but also enjoy life a little bit. I wonder, what are you missing? What would you say to Rachel and I, I wish I could do this every once in a while. What's being sacrificed? Well, I mean, really nothing. I guess I live very comfortably. But I guess, I mean, the thing that I sort of go back and forth about is a new car, which I don't need.

And I worry that I want it more because it's like comparing myself to others than really needing it. What are you driving now? It's a 2020 Mazda SUV. Like the CX-7? The 5. The 5. Yeah, it's a great little car. Great for you. Ken knows his Mazda SUV. Like the CX-7? The 5. The 5. Yeah, it's a great little car.

Great for you. Ken knows his Mazdas. Well, I watch a lot of sports. Who knew? So the sport, if you watch it football, the car commercials are like ubiquitous. All the guys are laughing out there. Yeah, that's the only reason I know that. I'm not some car guy.

That's so funny. That's a nice car, though. Yeah, it is. Oh, it's great. You're right. You don't need anything else, and you shouldn't be jealous. You got a nice car. Yeah, and i think josephine there's and so let me say this i i do um for your dad and his and his story what what um what happened at 54 that made that caused him to to pass away he had an accident at work okay i'm so sorry yeah that's yeah that's um that's tragic and

traumatic and all of that um when it's sudden like that so what i would say is there's part of the motivation possibly i don't want to put words in your mouth part of the motivation for you that wants to retire at 50 is a little bit of this fear that may not be a reality in your life. And I'm sitting here next to Ken. And I think for, I think the stars have aligned today because Ken is one of the best talking about the value that you bring Josephine to the world, that work is not something to escape, but it's something that you can actually enjoy and find something that you find meaning from. Now, I agree with you. I wouldn't want to be paycheck to paycheck feeling like I'm still scraping by and that I'm still so nervous

that I'm not going to be able. But at this point in your life, you could, because how old are you? I'm 32. Okay, so at this point in your life, Josephine, I mean, you have a solid 20, 25 years past that 50 point, 52, 55, that you can put away some serious money,

save, but more for the reasons that are not completely fear-based. Because I think part of what's paralyzing you maybe with your lifestyle is this fear of if I spend, then I'm not going to have enough to put away. And if I don't have enough to put away, if something happens to me, X, Y, and Z. And I understand that there's reality to everyone's stories and everyone is on this earth and a limited number of days. And we don't know those days, but, but for you, I think there's some freedom to give yourself to say, yeah, I'm going to shoot for a goal, but the reason I'm shooting for the goal is not out of fear, but maybe out of something else. And I wonder if that motivation is different,

if that feels different in your expenses, that if you do get a bump and a raise and you're still being wise and you're investing 15% of your income and you're out of debt and you have some money saved for an emergency fund and you're doing all this, that it gives you permission to give some of that away and to save some of it, sure, and to spend it and enjoy it. So I would kind of focus in on that. I think Rachel's on it. Josephine, I think Rachel's got a great point. I think this is a mindset switch. Here's what I'm hearing. I'm going to say this really fast.

You tell me if I'm right or wrong, and I don't mind being wrong. You're frugal by nature. You're very disciplined by nature. And I think what's going on is you're just dealing with normal comparison stuff that I deal with, Rachel deals with, we all deal with it. Because somebody in your life has got a really fancy something, something, something, and it's a whole lot sexier than a Mazda CX-5. And I think what's going on is, is you're going, man, I kind of want that. Here's what I want you to do when you start to feel that way. Do you want what comes with that fancy car that your friend can't actually afford? And they're dragging around $750, $1,100 car payment. That's real. I'm

not making that up. And I think if you start to go, would I want that? Would I want to have to spend more of my savings on that? You start to go, well, what would I have to do to have what they have? And I think you'll go, ooh, I don't want that. I think you'll be really happy with your awesome life in Burlington, Vermont. You're killing it, Josephine. Keep going. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I am Rachel Cruz, hosting this hour with Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality Investing Author. And we're taking your calls at 888-825-5225. Up next, we have Tyler in Mesa, Arizona. Great area outside of Phoenix. Hey, Tyler, welcome to the show. Hello. Thank you so much for taking my call. Absolutely. How can we help? So my question is,

should I keep the house? My father passed away. I have two younger brothers, and I'm trying to decide whether or not it makes sense to keep the house. Oh, I'm so sorry, Tyler. What happened? He was very sick for a long time, and he couldn't take it anymore. He ended his life on April 3rd. Oh, my goodness.

I'm so, so sorry. Wow. So what kind of situation is the rest of the family in about this? I know you're the one on the phone, but is anybody else involved in this decision? So my, my parents are divorced. Um, my, my, I'm usually living with my mom, with my brothers, my two brothers. They moved out to Casa Grande where my mom lives recently after my father passed. They're shooken up.

I mean, we all are. It's not a... How old are you guys, Tyler? How old are you and your brothers? I'm 20. My younger brother, Cody, is 18 and my youngest is 15. Okay, so they're still living in the house or they're still at home. So they moved with your mom. How far away is your mom's house from Mesa or from where your dad was living? About an hour. Okay. And where will you be living, Tyler?

Will you be closer to your mom over there, or will you be more near your dad's house? I'm still living at home. I'm going to college. But is that home in the home that your dad had? No, it's my mom's home. So you're all with your mom. You're all an hour away from where your dad was.

Did you all get anything else as a result of his passing? Anything else besides the house? Life insurance or anything? So life insurance paid out about $90,000. However, he set it up incorrectly and half went to my mom and half went to my aunt. Fortunately, my aunt is, um, uh, a really great person. And she, she gave, she gave me the money, um, and, uh, and for the benefit of my two brothers and myself. Um, and so that's been kind of keeping the house afloat yeah he um he spent his money as it came in um all like there was yeah every dollar he got he kind of he used

pretty much so so have you been paying the house payment i guess it's only been what three or four months that you've been paying the house payment through the money that your aunt gave you? Yes. So the money my aunt gave me, I mean, and then he was receiving money monthly from a trust created by his father. Okay. And so there was $20,000 in the bank account, and my aunt gave me $45,000. We're down to about $28,000, and everything's on time. The house isn't going to get foreclosed on.

Yeah. How much is it worth right now? Do you know? If you sold it, what could you get for it? About $430,000. Okay, and how much is on the mortgage? About $30,000. Okay.

So it's almost a lot of equity. Yeah. It's appreciated a lot since he bought it. Okay. I know what I would do, Rachel. I know. I know what I would do too, Tyler. I just want to double check.

Does this house carry any level of significance to you in the sense that you want to keep it within the family? Did your grandfather build the house? Is there any emotional ties besides just that your dad lived there? I understand that. But is there any reason you would want to live in this house for you? My youngest brother really wants to keep the house. He's 15 years old, right? He's 15. I mean, the big thing, everybody's telling me to rent it out and that's not a terrible idea. I mean, and it would keep the house afloat and we'd have a little bit of money coming in. Okay, so Tyler, so what I would do, and Ken, I'm sure we're gonna be on the same page with this. I would sell it, Tyler.

I would sell it. It's an hour away from where you are. The renting game is something that you guys do not need to burden yourselves with at 20, 18, and 15 years old. And the beautiful thing is, Tyler, you're gonna get $400,000 of equity, which is a huge gift to you guys.

And being able to use that, whether it's for college, a down payment on a home that you want for yourself, I mean, whatever can be used for this money is really gonna jumpstart your life, Tyler, in this. And for reasons that I just don't think is necessary to keep a home that's an hour away from where you're going to be living. And I understand that's so emotional. That's why I kind of even wanted to ask that first question of kind of what emotions are tied in this. Because homes, especially when it involves a death, we hear this

a lot, Tyler, it's very difficult for people you know we talk to people that and their their spouse has passed away or a parent and letting go of that house feels like they're letting go of them and there's a a massive void there there's there's another level of grief almost of letting something like that go but from a financial standpoint tyler i i would sell it yeah i would sell it yeah tyler i would sell it. Yeah, Tyler, I would sell it too. And for all the reasons that Rachel gave you, you do not in the moment of grief at this stage of your life want to be dealing with being a landlord and the amount of profit that actually benefits you and your brothers is limited to none at this point. And I know everybody's going, oh, it's an asset. You could blah, blah, blah, blah.

No, that's not helping you at all versus selling the house. Your dad's legacy lives on in the fact that he did pay the house down and he paid it to a point where, hey, it's a huge asset and split three ways between the brothers. I'm assuming that's what the deal is. That is a massive, massive, massive headstart for you, as Rachel said. And I think it's a no brainer. You do not want to mess with this. You guys can get into real estate down the line, but this could pay for your 15-year-old brother's college, potentially. This has so many benefits. And more importantly, you guys need to grieve. You guys need to be able to grieve without trying to figure out how to deal with a landlord or somebody who's going to operate the house when you're gone. Your mother lives in a different place. There's just too many unknowns

and too many variables to think that this is a good idea. I would take the money and invest it wisely. I really recommend, Tyler, that you at 20, as kind of the older brother, the man of the house, figuratively here, I'd get with one of our smart investor pros. Yes, I'd say that and a real estate ELP. And a real estate ELP real estate elp and and but i get the house sold and then sit with a great investment advisor who will put that money because to work for all three of you because even if we painted a different scenario tyler let's just pretend you were 30 years old married with two kids and you're like and i love this house even if you kept that house you would still have to pay out your brothers

because that's an asset that's split between three people. So again, that could be another conversation if you had the money to do it and that's what you wanted to do, right? So there's different ways to do this, but a really clean way that takes a lot of pressure off you, a lot of work that is unnecessary

of having a renter an hour away that's gonna be calling you at 2 a.m because they're heating an air broke in phoenix and they're hot you know i mean like it's just it's not worth it it's not worth it at this point and again like ken said if you want to get into that down the line i mean i come from a real estate family my husband he's looking at doing flips now i mean like we love the idea of real estate and and uh having renters and all of it but it has to be at a point that it's not a stress point for you,

that you're able to have the cash and the cashflow. And I think that's a season of life too, Tyler. And I hate to like pin an age at you because of it, but I think you have so much life ahead of you. And this money, again, can be such a gift to continue your dad's legacy. And that's how I would look at it. And to say that you're selling, yes, an asset that he had,

but man, you're able to use that and put it in the market, put it in high yield savings, go forward. I just got an idea. You and Winston need a show on HGTV. If he starts flipping, I want to see you two walking through houses. I want to see you with a sledgehammer and your fancy little shoes knocking drywall out.

That America needs to see. We need another couple with a flip show. I like the air conditioning in studios. This is my job, and I enjoy my job. Thank you, though, Ken. Well, thanks to all the guys in the booth for making this show happen. Tyler, thanks for the call.

Hold in line. We're going to hook you up with some stuff. Oh, and Kelly. Yeah, you. Okay. Thanks, America. This is The Ramsey Show.