The Ramsey Show - App - Taking Advantage of the Bankruptcy System Leaves You Broke (Hour 3)

Episode Date: June 19, 2018

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Starting point is 00:00:00 🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Tyler starts off this hour in Colorado Springs. Hey, Tyler, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show.
Starting point is 00:01:03 Hey, Dave, how are you doing? Better than I deserve. How can I help? So my question is, I guess I'm wondering what the consequences of bankruptcy are. Like, there are some people I know who, I guess, are purposely going towards bankruptcy, spending more money than what they have, and just thinking when they file bankruptcy that all the problems and money will go away. I just want to know, I guess, how to explain to them when we get in conversation the consequences of doing that.
Starting point is 00:01:36 Well, if you were to study a group of millionaires, you would not find any of them that became millionaires by using bankruptcy as a technique. That's mythology. Okay? Yeah. And it is not a technique for building wealth. Bankruptcy laws are very strict and very, very precise. When you come out of bankruptcy, you come out of bankruptcy with nothing except a portion
Starting point is 00:02:02 of the equity in your home, depending on how much equity you have in your home and depending on the state that you live in as to what the homestead exemption is, and a very small personal allowance for personal property. So if you don't have much furniture, you probably get to keep your furniture, you know, that kind of stuff. And if you didn't have any equity in your house, you might keep your house if the mortgage company will let you reaffirm. But, you know, you are what's known as broke when you get bankrupt so you're starting from zero so it's not a method for you know you go buy a bunch of cars you can't afford you go on vacations you can't
Starting point is 00:02:37 afford you buy a house you can't afford you run up a bunch of credit cards that you can't afford and then you file bankruptcy um yeah you got all the stuff and the experiences. You give up the cars in the bankruptcy, or you pay for them, one of the two. You don't get to keep them. You give up the house, or you pay for it in the bankruptcy. You don't get to keep it unless you pay for it, even in a bankruptcy. The credit cards are wiped out, and any other miscellaneous debts like that are wiped out, but you're starting back from zero.
Starting point is 00:03:07 And, of course, you have zero credit at that point, too. Yeah, and I guess that's what you're saying. You're just the continuous loop of being broke, pretty much. Yeah, you're just starting again from zero all the time. And so, yeah, you can do that, but there's no end game for this because it's a loop. And, of course, you can't file a Chapter 7 but every seven years anyway. And that's another, if I could ask another question real quick.
Starting point is 00:03:38 My brother, he's out in Japan. We talk sometimes. They have a friend out there who had just recently filed bankruptcy, and she's getting herself into the same situation. And one of her attitudes was, it doesn't matter, I can just file bankruptcy again. No, she can't. So you're just going to be stuck in debt pretty much. Yeah, you're going to be stuck, and if you get sued, they'll garner your wages.
Starting point is 00:04:03 They'll pick up assets and execute on the judgments. I mean, you're going to have know messing with you to no end it'll be bad uh and she's on she's you cannot get under the protection of bankruptcy but once every seven years now you can file a bankruptcy like a chapter 13 as an example and then voluntarily dismiss it and refile. But then you have no benefit from having filed the first time. You follow me? So, I mean, you walk in out of the cold, and then you walk right back out into the cold. And then later on, you can walk out of the cold again if you want to. But, you know, she can't just file bankruptcy. Every seven years, you can on a Chapter 7, which is a clean slate.
Starting point is 00:04:45 The Chapter 7 is the clean slate bankruptcy. So there's all this stuff that's mythology that floats around, and, you know, people say, well, you know, so-and-so got, you know, he got wealthy by filing bankruptcy, and that's just laughingly ludicrous. It's not a wealth-building methodology. I mean, it's just kind of... Yeah, that makes sense. And, you know, people that think they're going to take advantage of that system pretty quickly are drawn up.
Starting point is 00:05:16 And the other thing is, you've got to remember, it's federal court. This is not a traffic ticket. And so if you stub your toe in federal court in other words if they lie about one thing it's a federal case it is i mean you do not there's a there's a lot of things on this planet you might want to mess with but a federal judge is not on the list and it's just nasty and i see people you know they stroll in there like they're like they're trying to get a traffic ticket waived and go to class or something and um i've seen some judges tee off on some people man it's it's not pretty so it is something you want to stay away from
Starting point is 00:05:57 uh i mean it's you know like going through a divorce it's not something you know every time i have a fight i can just start again right i'll go get another wife you know it's like going through a divorce. It's not something, you know, every time I have a fight, I can just start again, right? I'll go get another wife, you know? It's like, you know, that doesn't work, man. I mean, it's not a methodology for a high-quality life or for winning by any stretch of the imagination. Good question. Good discussion. Lori's with us in Boise, Idaho. Hi, Lori.
Starting point is 00:06:19 How are you? Hi, Dr. Hi, Mr. Ramsey. Hi. How are you? You are a godsend, I have to tell you that. Well, thank you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:06:28 How can I help today? So I talked to you in December, and I asked you if I should sell my rental home, and you had suggested yes, which I did. Okay. And I profited $60,000. Mm-hmm. And now I'm selling my office building because it's a lot of money. And so I would get another $70,000. So I owe $160,000 on my home.
Starting point is 00:06:55 So what my question is, I have liquid cash and mutual funds. Would I take out the extra $30,000 to pay off my home? Sure. Or do I make that payment for a year? I'll just pay it off. Just pay it off because it's making more interest than what I'm paying on my home interest. Maybe. Not necessarily after risk.
Starting point is 00:07:19 I mean, what would it feel like to not have a payment in the world? I know. I would be debt-free completely. I don't owe anything. And what's your income? $100,000. Yeah. And so whatever little $30,000 or $20,000 withdrawal you make,
Starting point is 00:07:35 you'll put that back in no time if you don't have a house payment, right? Right. Because I would save about $3,000 a month. Exactly. So that would be $36,000 a year, and that's exactly what I'd do. And all the data points tell us that that's the way to go, meaning all the studies we've done and people we've worked with and this millionaire study we just completed, Chris Hogan and the team completed.
Starting point is 00:07:59 It will come out in his new book. It will come out in January. One of the things we found was millionaires pay off their homes as fast as they can, typically around 10.2 years. That's pretty cool. Because not having a house payment, it kind of makes sense. You've got money then to build wealth. Well, duh.
Starting point is 00:08:18 So, yeah, that's what I would do in your situation for sure. Good question. Thanks for joining us. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. What will your family do if you die? Did I get your attention? Good. If you're a father, mother, husband, or wife, it's your responsibility to have life insurance. No matter where you are
Starting point is 00:09:05 in the baby steps, you have to deal with this right now. How will your family pay for the mortgage, put food on the table, or pay for education? How will they deal with retirement and stay the course for getting out of debt and accomplishing something with their lives? This is what life insurance is all about. I knew when I started this show it was something my listeners had to have, so I went out and found a company I could trust to offer the plans I believe in. That's why I've been talking about Zander Insurance for over 20 years.
Starting point is 00:09:33 If you haven't dealt with this, please go to zander.com or call 800-356-4282 and let them help. This is a priority. It's not expensive, it's not complicated, and you need to do it today. That's Zander.com or call 800-356-4282. Heather's with us in Lubbock, Texas. Hi, Heather. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show.
Starting point is 00:10:17 Hi, Dave. Thanks for talking to me. Sure. What's up? So my husband and I, as of last week, paid off all of our debt, and we are really, really excited. But now we are saving up for a down payment on a house, and I never had any debt. My husband had debt when we got married. We got married last year and paid it all off.
Starting point is 00:10:39 And I still have this credit card that has just been used but paid off every month so that I could, you know, quote, build my credit. And now we're trying to figure out what the best next step is. Do we continue to just use this credit card like I've been using it for a long time so that we can get a loan for our house with a better interest rate? Or do we just get rid of the credit card altogether and just try to go a different route for getting a loan for a house? Okay.
Starting point is 00:11:10 There's only two ways to get a loan for a house at the premium interest rate, the best interest rate. Okay. One is a very high credit score, and one is a zero credit score. Mm-hmm. And the way to have a zero credit score is have zero accounts open of any kind for six months or more. Okay. And then eventually your credit score will absolutely disappear.
Starting point is 00:11:33 And you do not want to have a medium or low credit score. And so I'm a little bit afraid that you paid off all your debts that even if you keep using that card, your score may drop. So I don't know. I don't know what it'll do for sure. There's no guarantees on what the score is going to do or not going to do. But the only thing we know is you can get what's called a manual underwritten, manually underwritten loan on a mortgage. This with someone like Churchill Mortgage can help you do that. If you don't have any credit score at all, which means every single account that's showing on your credit bureau report
Starting point is 00:12:12 has to not only be paid but be closed for six months or more. If that works for you, then, yeah, go ahead and close everything. But you cannot play around in the middle ground and just say, you know, we're only going to have one credit card, and we're going to pay that off every month. Your scores are going to drop if that's going to happen. Because the credit score is only maintained by your interfacing, your interacting with debt. And when you quit interacting with debt, it starts to go away.
Starting point is 00:12:43 It starts to erode. And because it is not a measure of financial well-being. It is a measure of how much you play kissy face with the bank. That's all it is. And so once you get that, then, you know, you're there. But you cannot, you know, the best way to get a house is have an ultra high credit score, which means you're paying a lot of interest, you're constantly paying, you're constantly engaging in debt, and your score, if it's high now, it may stay up high enough for you to go ahead and get you a loan and then cancel the credit card after that, or go the other route and just cancel them all. But make sure every single thing is closed.
Starting point is 00:13:22 Very important. If you have one account open, you're going to end up with just a low credit score, and you don't want that. Carol is with us. Carol's in Miami, Florida. Hi, Carol. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi.
Starting point is 00:13:34 Hi, Dave. Hi. What's up? Thank you for taking my call. Sure. Okay. I'm a single mom right now. I'm working.
Starting point is 00:13:44 I paid off all my debts. I don't have any debts right now. I'm working. I paid off all my debts. I don't have any debts right now. Good. However, I also pay my house, which is good. I pay my apartment. I have a two-bedroom apartment. But I own a house in New York that I had some tenants, but they didn't pay me for a few years. They were, I had to tenants, but they didn't pay me for a few years. They were, I had to refinance, and I own $300,000 in a 40-year mortgage right now,
Starting point is 00:14:15 which right now is being paid by itself because I have it rented again. And I don't know what to do with the property. I don't know if it's a good idea to keep it. You should sell it. You should sell it. You should sell it. I should sell it. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:28 You know how I know? I'm sorry? Here's how I know. If you did not own that property, you would not wake up one morning and go, I need to go buy a house over there and go $300,000 in debt to have a rental property. You only ended up with this by default. It was not your plan. Yeah, that's why you should sell it.
Starting point is 00:14:50 It's not got, you know, and, you know, you've got a big honking mortgage on it, and every time that thing goes empty, you have a problem again, and you don't want it. You don't need any more of these problems, and so I'd get rid of that. I don't think that's a blessing at all. I love rental property, but I don't think this is going to be fun for you. So, hey, thanks for the call. Nick's with us in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Hi, Nick.
Starting point is 00:15:14 How are you? Hey, Dave. Doing good, man. It's good to talk to you. I appreciate everything you do. Sure. What's up? So I am an assistant pastor, and so I make about $20,000 a year right now.
Starting point is 00:15:28 It'll probably go up next year a little bit. My question to you is I have about $30,000 in debt between student loans and credit cards, but that's all that I have. Student loans are about $25,000, $26,000, and the credit cards are about three to four. Um, and I have three vehicles. Um, they're all paid off. I had one's a car, the other two are trucks. And the, one of the trucks I just use, you know, in the wintertime when it snows and
Starting point is 00:16:00 it sits pretty much 10, eight, ten months out of the year. It's worth approximately, you know, $4,000 to $6,000 depending on, you know, the times and all that. So my question to you is, since they're paid off and it's not on my car insurance, so it's not costing me anything really, do you think I should sell it and then put that toward the debt? Or do you think, you know, since it's not really hurting anything, I should hang on to it? So you have $40,000 in debt. Did you say that? It's $30,000.
Starting point is 00:16:37 $30,000 in debt. And you said you make $20,000? Yes. Yes, I make between $20,000 and $ 20 and 25, give or take, after taxes. How old are you? 26. Okay. So what is your career game plan to get your income up?
Starting point is 00:16:57 So I'll be finishing seminary here in probably about two years. And then after that, you know, then I would proceed into a full-time pastorship. Ah, okay. All right. Very good. So that's why. I know it's not a lot of money right now, but I know that. Well, I just wanted to hear that you were going somewhere with it.
Starting point is 00:17:18 All right. That's great. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sure. So are you paying cash for seminary as you go? Yeah. So actually, the church is helpingary as you go? Yeah. So actually, the church is helping me for one and for two.
Starting point is 00:17:30 You know, they kind of do a 50-50 match, plus the church is going to help me with the rest of it. So it will be probably 90%, and then the other 10% I can finish paying myself. Perfect. Very good. Okay. So you have a four thousand dollar truck and your car is worth what the car the car is probably worth uh probably about two grand and then my second truck is probably worth fifteen hundred okay so i mean if you want to keep like
Starting point is 00:17:59 the truck or something i guess for snow that's fine Or why don't you just drive it and get rid of the other two? You are paying insurance on all these. Yep, I'm paying insurance on all of them except for the big one that, like I said, it doesn't, you know, it's off the insurance in the hot, you know, in the hotter weather because there's no snow. But, like I said, I took it off the insurance the other day, and then I'm thinking to myself, like, why is this really worth keeping, you know? So that's why I wanted to call yeah i think
Starting point is 00:18:26 i think it's a good idea to simplify your life right now you don't need a car collection right now and particularly a collection of beaters right because none of these are like anything that no no classic car there's no memory there's no nothing here it's just some junk sitting in the driveway and yeah i would i would pick the one I want to drive for the next little while until I get out of seminary, and I'd keep that one. And I don't care which one it is, and let's get rid of the other two. None of these are particularly out of line. It's just kind of a pile of stuff sitting in your driveway, really. And they're eating money. They're not making money.
Starting point is 00:19:04 So we might as well use that and pay some of that $30,000 down. You know, you might scrape together $5,000, $10,000 between all this and pay it against that $30,000. That sure would be a nice push. So, yeah, I would do that. I think you're right. I think that's a good suggestion on your part. I would go with that and sell some stuff. Good question, man.
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Starting point is 00:20:44 chministries.org. Andy and Robin are in Eugene, Oregon. Hey guys, how are you? Good, how about yourself? Better than I deserve. I see on my screen you're debt free congratulations thank you very much how much did you guys pay off we did 84 000 in 24 months wow excellent and your range of income during that time um 80 started at 80 went to 140 cool big increase what do you guys do for a living i I'm an educational administrator. And I work in insurance. So how come your income went up so much in two years?
Starting point is 00:21:33 I went from a teacher position to kind of just moved up a little bit. And I got a promotion. Okay, both of you. And a lot of overtime. Working your butts off, both of you. Good. Cool. What kind of debt was the $84,000? So we had about, we had $5,000 in taxes. We had $16,000 for our van, about $31,500 for student loans, and $36,000 in medical. Wow.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Okay, cool. So what happened 24 months ago? What lit you guys up? I got sick and tired of being sick and tired, and we took the FPU class. Ah, Financial Peace University. Okay. Very cool. Just your church was having it, or you just looked it up?
Starting point is 00:22:11 It was a friend of mine actually told me that she was going to be coordinating the class with her husband and asked if we were interested, so we signed up with her. Ah, okay. All right. And both of you were on board from day one then? I was kind of apprehensive about it until like the first class. And then after that I was full throttle. Okay. Here we go. Game on. And so you guys have been married how long?
Starting point is 00:22:35 Almost 13 years. Okay. Have you ever been debt free until now? No. No. Never. Okay. How old are you? I'm 37. 36. Okay. Good for you. Very cool.
Starting point is 00:22:46 So how does it feel? You don't have any payments. I cried. It's very liberating. We've been able to do some things for people and things that we never would have been able to do before. Absolutely. Absolutely. Very cool. So when people ask, how did you pay off $84,000? That's a lot. Yeah. In 24 months. What do you tell them the secret to getting out of debt is? Your why has to be bigger than your but. What's your goal? You know, you have to have your goal and you've got to work towards it. That is good. That's a great line.
Starting point is 00:23:26 I love that. Your why needs to be bigger than your but. So what was your big why? Me, I want to sail around the world, to be completely honest, and I can't be doing that with death. And for me, I just want to help people. Okay. So generosity and travel. Right. And this stuff's in the way to help people. Okay. So generosity and travel.
Starting point is 00:23:46 Right. And this stuff's in the way. It's keeping us from doing that. We make too much money to be this broke, and so we roll up our sleeves and say, game on. That was it. That's right. Wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:57 We actually had the opportunity to coordinate an FPU class through our church, and it was exciting to go through it a second time as a refresher, but we are looking forward to now. I have staff members at school who are interested in taking it, so we're looking forward to doing one for staff members at my school. Oh, very good. Cool. Well, thank you for doing that.
Starting point is 00:24:19 It is very rewarding, and it's a great reminder to keep you on track, right? Exactly. Exactly. I think the biggest thing for us was switching to cash. Get rid of the debit card, switch to the cash. Big deal. That's a big deal. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:32 Well, good for you guys. Very, very well done. What was the hardest part for you? Switching to cash. You know, I think the hardest part for us was giving up things that we were used to and buckling back. We didn't go, well, we didn't pay for vacation over the holidays or, you know, traveling to another location for a weekend. Or we didn't do those things anymore. We quit eating out.
Starting point is 00:25:01 We found out we were eating our extra money. And, you know, so just making sure that we cut back in all those places and making that adjustment. those things anymore. We quit eating out. We found out we were eating our extra money. So just making sure that we cut back in all those places and making that adjustment. And our kids were on board with it. We're working through financial peace with them as well. I think for me, one of the hardest parts was telling my son, you can't do Scouts for a year until we get it paid off. And so watching our kids make sacrifices for it too that's hard for me so it was worth it yeah definitely that was one of the hardest parts for me and he will
Starting point is 00:25:31 have no memory of it well he he might but he understands it you know and they do saving and giving with money they earn too and so they're going to understand it when they're older and appreciate it for sure yeah amen well congratulations. Well, congratulations, you guys. Very well done. Did you have more cheerleaders or people saying you were crazy? We didn't have anybody telling us we were crazy. We had some encouragement to continue some things, but we definitely, Andy's parents were very big supporters,
Starting point is 00:26:01 and she's actually here with us because she's going to scream with us. All right. Yeah. But we had many more supporters and people curious to know what we were doing, so we enjoy being weird. Yes. Okay. You led the front of the weird parade.
Starting point is 00:26:17 Yeah, very good. I love it. Good. Good job. All right, we've got a copy of Chris Hogan's retire-inspired book for you. We want that to be the next chapter in your story where you go on and on and become millionaires and travel the world and be outrageously generous. I think you're on track to do that. You're doing well.
Starting point is 00:26:33 Congratulations. Proud of you. Thank you very much. You guys are heroes. All right. Andy and Robin, Eugene, Oregon, $84,000 paid off in 24 months, making $80,000 to $140,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream.
Starting point is 00:26:50 Ready? Three, two, one. Debt-free! Debt-free! Great job. Absolutely great job. Man, that's incredible. Chris is in Kansas City. Hey, Chris, how are you? I'm overly blessed, Dave. How about yourself today? Just the same. How can I help?
Starting point is 00:27:14 Awesome. I've got a retirement question, and I don't really know what the answer is, so I'm calling you. Okay. I'm of retirement age now, but not at full retirement, I don't need the income from the retirement. My question is, if I take my retirement now, between now and that period where I'm at full retirement, I'd get around $75,000 in retirement income, which would go directly into retirement funds over that next period of, say, four years. Okay. Does it make sense? And I would still continue to work and make up for the threshold of whatever I can make without being overly taxed on it.
Starting point is 00:27:53 Does it make sense to hold off until full retirement age or have it maxed at roughly $75,000 and have that in the kitty along with whatever my nutrition might come out of it. Okay. Well, most of the time, I mean, this is a pension plan, obviously, right? No, no, no. No, I'm just talking about if I go on retirement for my Social Security. Oh, you're talking about your Social Security. Yeah, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:28:19 Yeah, Social Security. Okay. You're not talking about a pension plan with your company or something like that. Correct. Correct. Okay, all right. And again, I don't need the income so I can put all that into a retirement fund along with everything else we have. Right. Well, here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:28:34 We know with Social Security when you die the checks stop. Yep. And we don't know when we're going to die. So which way do you end up with the most money? Well, if you die sooner, you'll wish you had taken it sooner. And if you die later, you'll wish you'd taken it later. So we don't know. We don't know.
Starting point is 00:28:55 I know that what I will likely do, subject to looking at the tax situation, is I always get as much money that's going to die when I die out of their hands into my family's hands as I can, because that way it doesn't die when I die. Right. And so that's simple a concept for me. Now, you know, there may be some taxation situations that cause you to not do that, and you'd want to sit down and crunch those numbers to be sure, I wouldn't want you to refuse to go make as much money as you can make doing whatever you wanted to do because of this stupid calculation.
Starting point is 00:29:34 I'd rather leave your career unfettered and without any reins on it and just let you go do what you want to do, and then take your social later if you want to. If you're going to not earn what you're capable of earning because of that, I would not do that. But aside from that, just the concept of when I die, it's going to be gone. And so I'm going to go ahead and take as much of it as I can take, as quickly as I can take it, turn around and invest it, even though I don't need it, turn around and invest it,
Starting point is 00:30:10 and that's the direction I would go. So, good question. Thanks for joining us. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. For years, I refused to endorse any company that claimed to get people out of timeshares. I told my listeners it's a horrible product and that unfortunately they didn't have a lot of options. Then a few years ago, I sat down with Brandon Reed, the owner of Timeshare Exit Team. Brandon walked me through the timeshare industry, and I learned that you can't sell them and you can't even give them away. And then we
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Starting point is 00:32:02 Struggle is a never-ending process. Freedom is never really won. You earn it and win it in every generation. That is true. Very, very true. If you've listened to the show for any period of time now, you know that our mission is to give people hope. So have you ever thought about joining our team?
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Starting point is 00:32:55 We've got so much work to do, and we need some help. Go to DaveRamsey.com. Click the Dave's Hiring tab on the right-hand side of the homepage, DaveRamsey.com, and click the Hiring tab, and you can find out what we're doing. Tori is with us in Columbus, Ohio. Hi, Tori. How are you? I'm good, Dave. How are you?
Starting point is 00:33:14 Better than I deserve. What's up? I have a quick question for you. My husband and I have one loan right now. We owe about $8,500 on a van. And we own our other car, which is a Toyota Camry outright, worth about $12,000. We were wondering, would it be a crazy idea to sell our Camry that we own outright and to purchase just a cheaper daily driver, like a truck or something, that my husband could also use hunting and hiking.
Starting point is 00:33:47 He's very outdoorsy. Buy a cheaper car and then put the rest on our car debt, or would it be crazy to sell a car that we bought brand new and that we don't owe any money on? It's never crazy to sell a car if you don't want the car anymore um so regardless of how you bought it i mean you just if you look at the car and go i don't like this car anymore it doesn't fit my life um that's one thing do you need to sell this financially probably not what's your household income i'm about 70 000 i'm a stay-at-home mom to one little girl, and we're about to bring another one home from India in just a couple of weeks.
Starting point is 00:34:29 Wonderful. Yeah, my husband's a youth pastor, and he's also in the Army National Guard. And how much debt do you have, not counting your home? Just the van, $8,500. No, I don't think you need to sell a car. Not financially. You need to get the van paid off. You need to lean in and get her done so that you don't have any payments with your house payment.
Starting point is 00:34:47 Finish your baby step two. But you don't have a financial reason to sell the car. Now, if he would rather have a truck and wants to sell the car and move down a little bit and throw some at the van, that's fine. But if he wants to keep the Camry and you like the Camry, then you're not doing anything wrong here. That car is very doable. You should have that paid off well before Christmas with your income. In the next six months, you should be done with that. And then you've got no payments but a house payment, and you'll be fine.
Starting point is 00:35:17 But, again, it has to do with whether you want the car or not. Madeline is with us in Montgomery, Alabama. Hi, Madeline. How are you? I'm fine. How are you? Better car or not. Madeline is with us in Montgomery, Alabama. Hi, Madeline. How are you? I'm fine. How are you? Better than I deserve.
Starting point is 00:35:30 What's up? Well, me also. I had a question about second marriage finances, and it's been kind of a heartache for me. My husband and I have been married just a few years, and everything's separate. We have nothing together. He doesn't believe in combining, but anything that he had before he married me is going to be mine.
Starting point is 00:36:00 So there's a lot of mine and yours, but I know you talked about one time about our pronouns and how important it is toward the oneness, and I feel like we just don't have that. Yeah, you don't. And it's probably because he got taken to the cleaners in the first one. Did he get taken to the cleaners in the first one? Yeah, sort of. Yeah. So are you paying for the sins of the first wife? Yep.
Starting point is 00:36:23 Yep, you are. Yeah. You are, because he's judging you based on that, and that's totally wrong. That means he is not fully healed from his first divorce. And so were he one of my buddies, I'd put my arm around him and pop him on top of the noggin, because he's acting like his new wife is his roommate. In the old marriage vows, it comes out, and it used to say back in the day,
Starting point is 00:36:53 for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, unto thee all my worldly goods I pledge, which means I want you and oneness and unity with you more than I want stuff. Right. And he's got his little marbles over here in the corner, and he's guarding them like you're coming to get them. Yeah, because my name's not even on our home. That's ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:37:19 That's absolutely ridiculous. It's absolutely ridiculous. Yeah. But I understand. I mean, he got really got the snot beat out of him the first go-round. But he needs to address those wounds because it is unfair. It's affecting your relationship because it leaves you out in the cold. It leaves you feeling very separated from your husband.
Starting point is 00:37:42 You do not have the level of unity that you should have. And this is a marriage issue. It's not a financial issue, but it's showing up in the marriage issue. In other words, he's holding back because he's scared. He's still scared. And, you know, I would challenge him to get to the bottom of that for his sake and for the sake of his marriage because of the way it's leaving you feeling, right? Yeah, and I suggested counseling, but he will not agree to that.
Starting point is 00:38:20 Well, that's a problem. You know? Hey, I got a problem with you. You're a jerk. I'm going to go to counseling and talk about you. If you're not going to go, that's what I'm going to do. I mean, this is a problem. This guy's got a lot of stuff going on.
Starting point is 00:38:40 And, you know, you guys need some coaching through this. I don't see this ending well if you guys need some coaching through this i don't see this ending well if you guys don't deal with this because you're getting progressively over this discussion and truthfully you should be i don't want i'm not calling for you to end something i'm not calling for any of that but uh it would be to his great benefit to learn to get on the same page with his wife and not hold his former marriage against his current wife and um if you like your stuff more than you like her boys and girls you should not marry her that's why with very rare exceptions i tell people not to get a prenup a one lady called in and said her boyfriend has a classic car and he
Starting point is 00:39:28 wants a prenup to protect her from getting the car in the event of a divorce. He loves his car more than he loves you, honey. Don't marry him. That was my answer. What a twerp. You have to have a prenup for your freaking car? Seriously? And, you know, that's the same kind of spirit as to what we're dealing with here. And so, you know, unless you've got like a bazillion dollars, like millions and millions and millions of dollars, and the other party doesn't, in an extreme situation, a prenup
Starting point is 00:40:05 is in order because it actually does clean up things relationally then. And it takes away all the, and it's really not even the person you're married that you're worried about. It's a crazy freaking family. That's what you worry about in those situations where there's an extreme differential. But, you know, in a situation where you're coming into a second marriage, this is why pre-marriage counseling is absolutely vital so that you can agree that we have put all of those damaged relationships and broken hearts in the past. And these scars are not going to be carried forward into this marriage. And we are going to set this up fresh, clean, new, and precious.
Starting point is 00:40:46 And we're going to set it up where we are just like two 18-year-old kids getting married and we didn't know any better. We're going to just combine everything. And if you're not willing to do that, that should be an indication to you you've not yet recovered from your former relationship breakup and you're not yet ready to be married. See a good marriage counselor and see if they don't tell you the same thing. That's what we run into all the time. And that's what Madeline's running into. So, yes, Madeline, you all need marriage counseling, darling.
Starting point is 00:41:15 I hope you can get it. That puts this hour of the day, Ramsey Show, in the books. We will be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Hey, guys, this is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. I'm excited to announce that we're now carrying on 600 radio stations across the country.
Starting point is 00:41:40 To find one near you, head to DaveRamsey.com slash show. Hey, this is Dave Ramsey. You know, most of us have gotten behind on our bills at one time or another. That's nothing to be ashamed of. It happens. And many of us know the embarrassment that comes with those harassing calls from collectors. Some of these guys are just scum. But then there are the collectors that are just plain crooks. These are the guys that take it a step further, and they violate the Federal Fair Debt Collection Practices Act on a daily basis. They're breaking the law, and they need to be stopped. The truth is, debt collection is the most abusive, out-of-control industry in America today.
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