The Ramsey Show - App - The Best Calls of the Year So Far (Part 3) (Hour 3)

Episode Date: September 28, 2023

МУЗЫКАЛЬНАЯ ЗАСТАВКА МУЗЫКАЛЬНАЯ ЗАСТАВКА Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. He is the number one best-selling book of Own Your Past, Change Your Future, and also the host of the Dr. John Deloney Show on the Ramsey Network. It's a very popular podcast. We're talking about your life and your money.

The phone number, 888-825-5225. Rebecca is with us in Louisville. Hi, Rebecca. Welcome to the Ramsey show. Hi, Dave. How are you? Great. What's up? Um, I really, really would love your advice. Um, my husband, I recently just found out that he committed what you call financial infidelity. And I, I don't know honestly what to do at this point okay so he's been lying to you about money about what yes because he didn't tell me that he was spending it okay what did he spend it on what how much he spent about two grand on his credit card for like just stupid stuff like sports equipment, hunting equipment, and golf clubs.

And it's a big deal because we're on baby step number two, and we're trying very hard to get out of debt right now. And we just paid off his credit card this month, and I just can't believe that he just did that. And I never would have found out if I hadn't gone and checked the Amazon receipts. Do those receipts match up? You didn't notice golf clubs in the house? Well, that was how I found out.

I came home from work, and I saw a huge box, and I saw that there was golf clubs in the box. And then I was like, what the heck is this? So he's not really good at lying no he's not and listen when you're saying that we are working so hard to get out of debt you're not accurate you are he is not he is living his best life? I know. We stick to the, well, I stick to the budget, and we're going through Financial Peace University.

We got married six months ago, and that was when we really found, Dave, like your book, Total Money Makeover. I read it in like a day, and he's still halfway through the book, and we watched Financial Peace University, and he tries to fast forward through half of it and I mean your name unfortunately is now a crossword in our house

and I never meant for that to happen so I'm sorry Dave can handle it let's get beneath that there's other things that have happened in this last six months that are tearing you up what else? I just feel like he is, like, I just feel like the trust has been broken,

and I feel like he's really angry and going through something, and whenever I try to talk to him about it, like, he gets angry again and defensive and just usually ends up in him yelling and huffing and puffing, and I don't know like i thought i mean most of the time are really good except like whenever he just gets mad and i don't know if it's the shame because all the debt is from him i think it's like i'm confident there's shame there, but there's something different, and that is he didn't fully understand how much his life would change when his world went from all about whatever he wants whenever he wants it

to building a new life with somebody else that we are going to both sacrifice for. And this is called being an adult. It's called being a grown-up. It's called having character. He doesn't have that. He's a child trapped in a man's body. They got a credit card that can just buy whatever he wants. And he can keep his wife happy by letting her run around with her little plan

while he goes and buys whatever he wants. Yeah. I asked him why he did it, and he said because he felt like he deserved it. There you go. That's the child's entitlement. And so the challenge I hear folks make at this stage is you want to make it about the money. And I want you to hear me say there are bigger fractures in the foundation of your marriage that need to be addressed. You think I can say this?

A hundred percent. I have not a doubt in my mind. No, I don't think you can. Y'all can. But I think he can and you can together. Yeah, y'all can. Yeah. But you can't.

You've been trying to fix everything by yourself so far. Money, him. I sent a note to the counseling, couple counseling. I've asked them before in the past. Well, then go without him. Go without him. Go without him. Go without him. I'm going to counseling to figure out if this marriage can be saved. I wish you

would go with me, but if you won't, I'm going anyway. And then your counselor will give you words and help you work through the decisions of whether this makes it or not. But you cannot, by yourself, make a marriage. That's the definition of a marriage. I want you to remember this. I thought we were on the same page. I want you to remember this line. You're not on the same page on anything. Nothing, yeah.

Behavior is a language. And if you say what Dave said verbatim, I'm going to see if our marriage can be saved. I hope you'll go with me. I hope you'll go with me. And he goes, nah, I'm going golfing. Behavior is a language. He is telling you loud and clear what he thinks.

He's done. That's what that means. But go anyway. Go anyway. Of course. Maybe your counselor can give you some. If you've got a good therapist that has a backbone that can give you language to begin to draw this, draw him into a bigger and better dream of what this marriage can be or, you know, draw it to a close. One of the two will happen because one of those two is going to happen anyway.

But all we're trying to do is give you the tools to do it with some uh wisdom and before there's a house and kids and the whole thing sideways and also let me give you a little bit of peace it is other than the sun coming up every day couples who have been recently married in the first six months experience whoa didn't expect that didn't see that now they don't experience outright lying all the time like you are but every couple goes through six month hiccups like i didn't think this was going to be like this i didn't think it was going to feel like this and so let's let's um pretend he doesn't have the tools to he didn't know how to start how to be a

grown-up and not act like a child. Great. He needs to go to counseling and learn some tools because he doesn't know how. Yeah. And you can model what that looks like by going. This is childish and selfish behavior on his part.

I'm sorry that you got dragged in. And sometimes women do this. Sometimes men do it at all ages. It's not an age thing. It's not a guy thing. It's not a gal thing. And I'm not even positive, to be honest with you,

that he was lying to you. I think he just did whatever he wanted to do and it wasn't like he was sneaking around the golf clubs were put on your front porch so this isn't like he had some pattern of financial infidelity is when you have a pattern of lying that is a broken trust and i don't think that the i think the only trust that he was going to follow this plan was in your mind. I don't think this guy ever signed up for the trip you took him on. Well, I thought he was maybe lying because we have a budget, and he has a budget of pocket money, and he put on there like some of the stuff he bought. Well, then he did lie to you on that he broke he broke his

contract he said i'm not going to spend any more than x and i did whatever i wanted to do because as all five-year-olds say i deserved it five-year-olds and congressmen this is the Ramsey Show. Jade Warshaw, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Thank you for joining us. This is The Ramsey Show. Kate is with us. Kate is in Jacksonville, Florida.

Hi, Kate. Welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Hi, Jade. Thank you for your time today. Sure. What's up? I have a question of whether or not I should pay off my mortgage using some of my CDs and investments.

What kind of investments are they? They're diversified with capital growth, made capital growth, cord bonds, those kind of things. Non-investment. It was a life insurance policy from my... I'm sorry? Non-retirement. Well, it's kind of turned out to be retirement. No, is it in a 401k or an IRA? No, it's with an investment company. My previous husband passed away,

and so it was his life insurance policy. Oh, my. I'm so sorry. Well, he passed away during COVID. It's been a few years. So I invested it because I didn't know what else to do with it. There's nothing wrong with that. We were debt free except for our home. Yeah, you didn't.

We were debt free except for our home, and I wanted to pay my home off, but just in that time when I hadn't invested it. And I've since remarried and we would just like to use, you know, our money properly. And I'd like to kind of honor my late husband because we both wanted to have a pay-forward home. Yeah. So I just, I want to know if this would be a good idea or if we should just buckle down and pay off what is left, what the balance is, because I have very little, and my interest rate is super low. What is the balance? What's your balance, Kate?

The balance is $164. How much is in your investments? We have a net worth of $780. What's in the investments? That's probably about a total of $780. What's in the investments? That's probably about a total of $467. Oh, yeah. So you could pull some out and be mortgage-free quicker than you know it. Just know that you're going to be on the hook for some taxes when you cash this out, right?

Okay. Well, the CDs, I guess not, because when they roll over, I probably wouldn't do it in a big chunk. I'd have to, you know, because they're rolling over at different times. I have about four different CDs that I could pull from, about $100,000, and then probably have to take the excess from the funds, so there may be a penalty with that. Is that correct? No, there won't be a penalty.

If you've invested in mutual funds, the only thing you'll have is taxes on what it is increased that you've not paid taxes on. If you get any capital gains on it, that's all. But your broker can tell you that. I wouldn't wait on the CDs to roll over. I'd just cash them out and do it. I'd be debt-free this week.

This week I'd be done. Okay, and so a second part to my question. So if we do this, I have a daughter who is a special needs adoption through the state of Florida. She's 23. She'll always have to be under my care. I do want to give her a sense of independence. We could build something on the property that we're on, this house that we would pay off, or if we could potentially find something in the next few years to move, would it still be a good idea to pay off this mortgage? Pay off the mortgage this week and then decide what you're going to do with whether you're

going to add on or whether you're going to purchase is a different decision and you're going to do that later okay yeah it doesn't it doesn't change anything because there's no time that you're going to lose money as a result of having paid off the mortgage when you if you sold this house and move to another one they're going to give you a check at closing for all of the money. Right. It's not like you're consuming this money. You're moving it from investments to a paid-off house, from one asset to another. And so the money doesn't go away.

It's still sitting there. And so if you two years from now, three years from now, say, hey, we're going to go buy this neat little place that's got a mother-in-law apartment for our special needs 25 year old by then um yeah you can do you just sell your house take the money out of it and use that to purchase the next one maybe with some of your other debt money or maybe not but somewhere in there but pay off your mortgage this week kate this back and forth worrying about this worrying if you did the right thing is causing you more angst than it's worth. Just make a decision, pay off the mortgage, and then you're going to have a sense of peace just from having made a decision. That's right. It's all this all over the place that's driving you crazy. And you're wondering if you're doing the right thing all the time.

And you are doing the right thing. By the way, you didn't do a dumb thing by investing the money. I think that's a very smart thing to do. You let it sit there while you're going through the grieving process. You reset your life, remarried now, and wow, I mean, you've gone through a lot in the last 36 months. And you kept your head about you through that. So congratulations. Very, very well done.

Britton is in Oklahoma City. Hi, Britton. How are you? Hey, Dave. How's it going? Better than I deserve. What's up? So I've got a question. My parents raised me in a Dave Ramsey home where now I'm 27 years old and I don't have any debt on my house, my cars, no student debt anywhere. Man, you got to go home and kiss your parents on the lips you're 27 years old with

a paid for everything way to go great moms and dads yeah but this is this is my question uh i read somewhere dave ramsey's worth 600 million dollars and i want to get into that kind of wealth for my family and impacts that i can make with that kind of money. So I don't know how I get to the hundreds of millions of dollars with the kind of money that I'm making now. I think if I stay disciplined and conservative, I can definitely be multi-millionaire, but hundreds of millions of dollars without taking on debt, I don't see how I'm going to get to that point. I love real estate. My wife is a realtor, and that's what we were really looking into a lot of projects in real estate. But what would

you tell me? I just don't know time-wise. That's the biggest constraint. How do you get to that much wealth? Well, I think you set intermediate goals, number one. Number one, I'm going to work a traditional plan and go for the first five to 20 million and the traditional plan that we talk about here all the time i'll put you in that category but no you're not going to become a billionaire with your 401k it's mathematically impossible so um and what you've got to do in that case is study billionaires for instance you could comb through and say okay uh for Forbes 400 are all billionaires now. You don't make the 400 anymore unless you're a billionaire.

A billionaire is 1,000 million. It's a completely different stratosphere, okay? And it's a completely different discussion. But you asked, so it's a fun discussion. So what we do is we study best practices. We'll study the Forbes 400, okay? What do we find there? Do we find a bunch of trust fund babies? Nope.

You don't find a bunch of inherited wealth. You find the Truett Cathy family at Chick-fil-A. You find David Green at Hobby Lobby. You find Oprah. You find Bezos at the top, you find Buffett at the top, you'll find Michael Dell, okay? You'll find all kinds of things. And so what do you find? And all of those are first-generation rich, by the way. Walmart, Sam Walton when he was alive. Now that money is now dispersed to the next generation down, and I think each of those members are still billionaires.

I'm pretty sure they are. But that is inherited wealth there because Sam, the old started walmart but it's walmart money so what you do find when you're going through there and i've noticed this is the vast majority of them are uh it's like 69 or first generation rich okay so that means you get that. It's possible. In other words, uh, then number two, how did they do it? Well, it wasn't funding their 401k. That's not, that doesn't get you to a billion, a thousand, a million doesn't get you there. Okay. Uh, what they typically did was start an enterprise, start a business.

So, I mean, you've got Gates starting Microsoft. You got Dell starting Dell. You got Chick-fil-A. You got Hobby Lobby-a you got hobby lobby you've got oprah is an enterprise oprah's not a brand oprah is an empire uh a huge brand but it's got i mean hundreds and hundreds of employees and so uh i mean i know she's a person but she's also a massive enterprise and so uh that kind of so each of these people uh the i i think almost all of them started businesses and the business made them wealthy the the explosion of the

business yeah and or they took them public yeah and the stock made them rich i mean obviously that's uh buffett's situation um ph Knight. Yeah, Phil Knight, Nike. Yeah, that's another one. But they almost all were business enterprises, and they grew large businesses. And in my case, that's where my money came from. The vast majority of it is from running for Ramsey. I've got 1,100 team members. We do $300 million a year in gross revenues here at Ramsey.

And so, yeah, I mean, obviously, that's where my personal net worth came from. This is The Ramsey Show. George Camel, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Hey, guys, you can help us out if you'd like. You are our best marketing, telling your friends about us. And you can do that by sharing the show, hitting the share button, sharing a link, or just telling people where you listen, however you're doing it, whether it's YouTube or radio station, TBN, it doesn't matter. We'd love to have you tell people about us. And you can use the technology to do that, or you can use your mouth to do that.

I don't care thank you you can subscribe and follow depending on whether your podcast youtube whatever hit the click button it makes a big difference if you actually do that because it it changes the way the algorithms work and it pushes our show forward for other people when they're searching to find it and so it changes the search engines so to speak and so please help us with that by subscribing sharing oh and leave a five-star review that's always helpful too and we've gotten some really nice reviews people are nice yeah there are really nice people out there and the trolls they'll always be there just ignore them well there's never been a statue erected to a critic that's not that i can think of so just keep that I can think of. So just keep that in mind.

If you're a critic, keep that in mind. You may not want a statue, but you just need to know that, in other words, people don't admire that, the fact that you live in your mother's basement and troll all day long. I've got to get my mom to leave a review because she watches on TBN every day. Oh. And she now sees it on a big screen. She says, you need to smile more.

Oh. So I've got to remember, Mom, you're watching out there and thanks mom for the media training so she's my biggest critic right now yeah well and your biggest supporter that's true she's a big fan it's all in love george that's true she loves to critique mama camel and grandma too we got grandma watching tbn now yeah well and mama camel's getting ready to be a grandma that's right we're on baby we could a grandma. That's right. We're on baby watch, Dave. We could change her name. That's right.

All right, Jonathan's with us in Charlotte, North Carolina. Hi, Jonathan. How are you? Hey, how's it going today, guys? Better than we deserve. What's up? Absolutely. So I've had a tough couple months.

I got laid off. The light is at the end of the tunnel. And I got hired last week. Yay! Better job, I bet. Almost doubled my salary. Whoa! The light is at the end of the tunnel, and I got hired last week. Better job, I bet. I almost doubled my salary. Whoa. Thank God you got laid off.

Exactly. So that's what I'm doing. I'm trying to make sure that I'm doing what's best and what's right with that, and I haven't followed your baby steps to a T always. Well, it's time to start, Jonathan. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. And, uh, exactly. So that's where I want to make sure I'm starting this job. I'm going to get the paycheck the first month. I want to make sure that I'm doing this right from now on. Good. I have, uh, $87,000 in student loan debt and I have, uh, $27,000 left on my car my car, and otherwise I have no debt.

I have $8,000 in savings after I pay the rent at the first of the month. I have $11,500 after I pay rent and everything at the first of the month. I'll have $8,000 in savings. So I have step one. I need to build my way back to step three. Thank the Lord I had it there during the layoff. And I still have $24,000 in my Roth 401k. Good, good.

And what's the new salary? How much are you making now? The new salary is $130,000. Wow. Are you married? I am not. Okay, cool. Good for you.

All right. So $114,000 in debt, $8,000 in savings, and $130,000 income. Did I miss something? No. Okay. Well, it's simple and it's hard because you're used to having that cushion of an emergency fund while being very unsafe and insecure on the debt side. And so you're in Baby Step 2.

You keep saying, I got to get back to Baby Step 3. You were never there. We got a step in between that we just skipped. We just leapfrogged it. You can't get to baby step three unless you've done two. That's kind of how the numerology thing works. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to attack the debts.

And your car is your smallest one. And we're going to throw seven of your $8,000 at that. And you're at baby step one one thousand dollars saved now we're attacking doing the debt snowball and baby step two attacking with a vengeance and we're gonna you know do nothing no eating out no partying no vacations no spending money to renting the what i'm tired of renting i don't care you need to get this mess cleaned up. Okay. You're broke. That's why you're a renter. Yeah, so let's not be broke anymore.

Let's get this mess cleaned up. So you got $114,000. If you pay off $65,000 a year, $70,000 a year out of your $130,000, you're debt-free in two years. Zero debt at all. You'll have a paid-for car, and Sally Mae will have been evicted from your house. You'll have your life back. How old are you?

I'm 30. Okay. Or you can wander along the next 10 years and be mediocre, Jonathan, and at 40 still be screwing around with a student loan debt like most people do. Or you can punch the thing in the freaking face repeatedly until it dies time to get with it are those student loans broken up into a bunch of little loans um they consolidated uh but they're still like consolidated federally and i think the average on that uh interest rate is like 5.8 percent yeah so no adding to your retirement no life for the next 18 to 24 months and don't withdraw from your retirement either yeah 18 to 24 months it's game on it's i am so pissed i am

getting this mess cleaned up i felt very vulnerable and afraid when i got laid off and i had 114 thousand dollars in debt so the next time something bad happens not if when something bad happens i'll have no debt it's a different feeling dude yeah but not having i mean i because i didn't attack my debt so hard i had that three months you know safety cushion so when the rain happened i was okay yeah i kind of want to have that so you know i kind of don't care what you want you're broke yeah you call me dude do this stuff i'm gonna be mean to you do it come on i'm your coach it's halftime all right okay okay yeah you first first half in in the first half quarter first quarter you you got a little bit ahead second half you got behind and now you're coming in from the half and it's time to get with it and let's get this thing knocked out you get a new lease on life you got behind and now you're coming in from the half and it's time to get with it and let's

get this thing knocked out you get a new lease on life you got double your you got thank god you got laid off you got double your income and no listen i don't want you to stay with no emergency fund for long the faster you get out of debt the faster you're going to have a legitimate emergency fund that's baby step three but but listen this millions of people have done what i'm asking you to do for you doesn't affect me man but listen don't don't sit and argue with your personal trainer when he's got a six-pack and you have a keg don't argue with your personal trainer you called us do it do it do it do it do it do it you can do it man i'm cheering you on i'm not fussing at you you can do this hang on here's the other part the the student loan pause is really what saved him and that's

coming to an end uh abrupt halt and so those payments are coming back and so you lose another job you owe as many payments as 87 000 makes up so next time that happens you're not safe and that emergency fund is going to get drained real quick if we don't get rid of these payments they're killing you man yeah it's your shortest distance to peace financial peace two words that don't go together like airline service okay it's your shortest distance to peace and your shortest distance to wealth the the distance the path we're giving you please the lady just called right before you and said how wonderfully it worked when she finally decided to work it. That's tough. People go, well, Dave, I'm kind of doing your plan.

I got no debt except for $100,000. I'm like, are you listening to yourself? Just follow the plan. If it doesn't work, come back and yell at us. Play this back later and hear how it sounds. But you can't do half the plan and then get mad when you get half the results. Don't call us back. Here's the problem, George.

You don't even get half the results. Because this thing doesn't, it's not linear like that. Doing half the plan gives you 10% of the results. That's what the problem with ish is it's more damaging than it sounds. Because you feel like you're doing something. Ish. You know, but you're not really doing anything. It's like, you know, you're going to, it's like the people that do yo-yo dieting you know you know what i'm talking about they lose weight and then

they gain back and forth back and then they lose weight and they gain back more and so the net five years later is as they weigh more than when they started considerably and so because they didn't change permanently the grooves in our brain when it comes to the dieting people always say lifestyle you have changed your lifestyle. Well, that's what we're talking about. Paradigm shift, behavior, all of it. Yeah, the whole thing. So hang on, dude.

We're going to send you a copy of the book, The Total Money Makeover. I want you to get a highlighter. I want there to be like hand grease on that book because you're looking at it all the time. Lots of sticky notes all through it. This is your guide. It is a proven plan. Ten million of these total money makeover books out there. It didn't happen because it didn't work. Those sales happened

because this crap works. I don't know how to do nothing else, but dude, I got this down. Hang on. I'll give you a copy of the book. This is the Ramsey Show. Our scripture of the day, Proverbs 16, 3, commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. Stephen Covey said, live out of your imagination, not your history. Ooh, that one's good. Sharon's in Greenville, South Carolina. Hi, Sharon.

Welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi, thank you. Hi, Sharon. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi. Thank you. What's up? I am 75 years old, a recent widow, and we have some lakefront land for sale in South Carolina. And I was recently offered full price, $600,000 in physical gold and i'm having a heck of a time finding any good advice as to the advantages and disadvantages of accepting physical gold and payment for the land and i've listened to you for years and it occurred to me i need to call dave and see what he would recommend um Okay, number one, if this is real, you don't know. You laid eyes on a big, giant chest full of gold bullion? That's what I got in my head.

No, no. I know. I'm sorry. I should clarify. I know the person who is offering the deal very well, and he is a wealthy person who owns a large company that does work in four southeastern companies so he's legit uh you know not a difficult person to check out and then why doesn't he just pay you what do you mean why doesn't he just close the land i mean sell the gold and pay you in cash well i don't i would ask him that question that's a good question to ask he told me

he has been buying gold he's a great believer in the gold standard for the u.s and since he started his company at 18 and he's 80 now he has accumulated all this physical gold so sell some of it and since it's so wonderful and give me my money give me my money okay listen here's the thing let's turn it back let's turn it and let's be a little bit nicer okay here's how i would handle it if i were you okay okay i'm going to play the uh i i always play the uh uh you know for instance, in business, I'll go, oh, we're just a small business. We're not real sophisticated. You got to help us out.

Okay. Okay. So in your case, it would sound like this. I'm a 75-year-old widow. I don't even know how to begin thinking about doing this. You're the guy that has all the money and you're Mr. Sophisticated. So I need you to help me out. I can't do this because i don't know how

so what what i need you to do is just sell enough of it and give me my money that i can do because i don't know what to do with it man and you're the you're the big gold guy you're you're you have all the connections you know how to turn it into money i don't know how to turn it into money so you got to help me out here uh okay well one thing that he's told me and i also confirmed this was that there are no tax consequences there's no doing what yeah there's not so that's awfully attractive when you're looking at a six hundred thousand dollars there's no no no no no no no no no there's no tax consequences to it being gold there is tax consequences to you selling the land yes but but whether you take cash or take gold doesn't matter.

Right. There's no tax. Because it's gold, it doesn't make it have tax consequences. Okay. But there's no way I'm doing this. There's no way you should do this. Knowing how much that you work in real estate, I thought maybe you'd run across that before,

or you just wouldn't recommend it for anyone. I can probably get the gold liquidated, but I wouldn't take it. Right. Because I don't need to fool with it. They need to fool with it. It's their – the gold is their issue, not my issue. I'm not getting in the gold business, and I don't want to be in the gold business for 10 seconds. Just liquid the crap and put it in my account put the money in my account we'll have a

closing okay great it's really it's really there's no advantage to you and there's huge potential disadvantages the disadvantages is the gold goes down three days after you get a hold of it and you know or worse than that this guy is not who you think he is, and it's a fraud. The fact that he's presenting this is very weird, and that alone raises a flag for me. But you're vouching for the guy. I was getting ready to give you a 25% chance this is fraud, but you've narrowed that down to a 5% chance now

because you're vouching for him. But I'm still not doing it. There's no way. Somebody comes up offering me weird crap. You know why stuff seems weird? Because it's weird. You know? The reason this feels strange is because it's strange.

You know? Sometimes you just kind of got to go with that. Valerie is in Detroitroit hey valerie welcome to the ramsey show hi guys thanks so i am 23 years old i just got my master's degree and moved home i took out eleven thousand dollars in student loans and hoped that they would be forgiven of course they're not my dad says he'll pay them from our education savings account but he only wants to pay the minimum payment since they're at a 2.75 percent interest and my younger brother

still has to go to college so the money will basically keep growing in those accounts how old are you i'm 23 okay the educational savings account is no longer your father's it's now yours right he's no longer the custodian he doesn't get to choose you choose take the money out and pay it off okay you think i'm positive even though like i'm positive transfer that money to my younger brother you can't transfer the money to your younger brother you have a debt what do you what'd you get your master's in biostatistics have you gotten a new job yes yes big girl master's job yes Bio statistics. Have you gotten a new job? Yes. Big girl master's job? Yes. I'm living at home

and I'm making $80,000. Why are you living at home? Because I got the job right before I graduated. So I don't know. I'm not sure where I want to live yet. You're not what? She's not sure where she wants to live. But you're sure you want to move out soon, yes? But you have the job.

Probably within the next six months to a year, yeah. I'm sorry, wait a minute. You know where you work, right? Yes. So why do you have to wait to move out because you know where you work? I don't have any friends around or roommates, and I don't want to live alone. Okay. Yeah.

I would solve that, and it's time for you to be out on your own. It's time for you to pay off a student loan. Okay? Okay. As fast as you possibly can. If your dad's not going to give you access to this, your parents are exercising an awful lot of control over you for a 21-year-old that makes $80,000 a year and should be standing on her own.

Okay. It's time for you to move out and be adulting, as they say. And so, yeah, I would get my own place, and I would pay off the student loan, and I would do all of that in the next 90 days if I woke up in your shoes. If you were my daughter, that's what I would tell you to do. I love you, and I would love to have you stay here,

but it's not good for you, so you get to move out. And so I'm kicking you out because you get to fly and be free. Eagles that stay in the nest too long are known as turkeys. So you're not a turkey at all, Valerie. You're not a bad person. You're a wonderful, sweet, kind young lady. But I want you to have some courage and throw those shoulders back and walk into the wind, kiddo, and fly, eagle, fly.

You know, she's very sweet. Everybody could hear how sweet she is. However, one thing I want to mention, Valerie, is that if you go along with this plan, this money that was supposed to be used for your education, and all of a sudden I'm just going to donate it to my brother, I would be concerned about resentment that could creep in and grow. And I just don't think that's healthy. And so this is another boundary issue that Dave's brought up with you leaving. I think there needs to be a boundary on this. If that money was dedicated to your education, use it.

Yeah, yeah. And your dad should just release it. It's $11,000 and you should pay it off. It's really by Friday is what you should do. I don't think you're going to do that because I don't think you're going to stand up to your dad. But I wish you would. I wish you would.

I think it would be good for him, and I think it would be good for you. And the hardest folks, to her dad, the hardest part of parenting is when you no longer get to tell them what to do and now you can't use your dad voice anymore you have to use the older uncle persuasive voice because it's the only one you got they took your other one away when they left and sorry dad but you can't stop it from happening. Time marches on. It's time for Valerie to go. That puts us out of the Ramsey Show and the books.

We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Dave here. You can find all of our shows with the Ramsey Network app on your smartphone. It's the only place to listen to the entire back catalog of episodes. Download the Ramsey Network app in your favorite app store today.