The Ramsey Show - App - The Best Way To Buy a Car (Hour 3)

Episode Date: November 14, 2022

Rachel Cruze & Dr. John Delony discuss: Losing passion in a career, Buying a new car, Selling a business. Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Pods Moving and Storage Studio, it's the Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life, your work, your relationships, and your money. I'm John Deloney, joined by my good friend, best-selling author, Rachel Cruz, and we are taking your calls at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Let's go out to Nicole in New Haven, Connecticut.

What's up, Nicole? Hi. Can you hear me okay? Absolutely. Can you hear us? Awesome. Yeah. Oh, yeah, definitely.

Fantastic. Hi. Oh, my God. It's such an honor to hear us? Yeah. Oh, yeah, definitely. Fantastic. Hi. Oh, my God. It's such an honor to talk to you guys. The honor is all ours. What's up? Glad you called. Yes.

So I'm having a little bit of analysis paralysis when it comes to my side hustle. I currently do massage therapy as a full-time career, and that usually is about 35 hours of massage. So the thing with that is that I make about $50 to $75 an hour doing that, but I really do need another side gig. And anything else, I start to feel like, oh my gosh, if I do that job, it takes me six or seven hours to make what I would make in one massage. But I'm getting incredibly burnt out with my career that I decided was like a passion. And now it's become almost like a burden. And I'm not really sure how to go about a side hustle. Does that make sense?

I don't know. Yes. No, no, it totally does because you want to be able to enjoy what you're doing and still make great money. Cause I'm like, you're like,

I don't want to sacrifice the financial side. Um, but you also want to want to enjoy what you're doing as well. So is there anything else on the horizon that you're thinking of job wise? They're like, man, I would love to do this or that. Is there anything specific,

uh, career wise that you're passionate about? I mean, down the line. Yeah. Eventually I would like to get into a more of a counseling, including massage type of, um,

like my own business, but I need to, uh, get myself out of debt before I do that. So, um, but like I've been looking at other side hustles, like, um, I mean, silly, but like pet washing, you know, you can do that. Um, but those things, you know, they don't make a lot of money. It's like 10, $13 an hour. And it's, uh, it's like a love. I would love to do that as a side gig. But at the same time,

it's like, Oh, how much did you report? How much of your salary did you report last year, Nicole? So I grossed $60,000. Okay. How much debt do you have? I have about $65,000. Okay. What was your net take home? So I pretty much take home about $19 two weeks. So almost 4,000 a

month. Okay. Um, and I also do massage on the side for my other job. So that's my full-time job. So I have, um, another massage gig, which I thought was going to be my side hustle, but there's, they're not consistent enough. So I know I need to get something that I have to actually go to and kind of clock in and do so that I know that I'm definitely going to be making, you know, a set amount, like whether it's $300 extra week or whatever. So let me, let me pose it to you this way. And then I know Rachel's, she's demonstrated an earlier hour. She's infinitely smarter than me coming up with a path here. So you've been around our gang a little bit,

so you've heard about gazelle intensity, right? Yeah. And the idea being that gazelle is running to not die, right? That gazelle is running from a lion that's trying to kill it and eat it, and the gazelle is going to run maniacally away from this thing. What that gazelle is not going to do is go, oh my gosh, there's a lion. A cheetah.

Or a cheetah. Cheetah. This path is... Let's look for a smoother path. Hang on, cheetah. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Let's look for... Okay, this path was fast hang on hang on hang on um let's look for okay this path was fast ah for a minute but then i gotta go over there and the grass is tall

the cheat the the that gazelle is just gonna run right gazelle's gonna run towards a goal and the goal is not dying right your goal is going to be to get out of debt so that you can actually get on with your life doing what you really want to do and you can make real good money doing it. Is that fair? That's completely fair. So what if you put a star on the calendar 24 months from now and said, I will have paid off all of my debt by 24 months. What do I have to either A, earn collectively and you can do death by BB gun, right? 300 bucks here and 25 bucks here and 75 bucks here feels insulting until you look up in a month and you've knocked out 500 extra dollars and then you've looked at right so it starts to snowball in itself or how what can i cut out of

my life that's really the only two things you can do right but the goal here is i'm going to be away from this cheetah i'm going to be safe in 24 months, whatever it takes, big jobs, little jobs, small jobs, not shopping, not eating at restaurants, selling the car, like whatever I've got to do, right? It's a much different way of looking at it then. Well, I make this much here and also I make this much here. I'm tired. All that makes sense. And I do the same thing. We do it with speaking gigs, right? We do some gigs here and they offer X and some offer Y. If they just offered Y, that's fantastic. But if I compare it to X, it feels like, man, I'm getting ripped off. I'm not getting ripped off at all. It's all a blessing, right? It's just, it just depends on what I'm,

what my goal is at the end of the day. Does that make sense? Completely. I think, yeah, thank you very much. I knew that sort of of reiteration because that's what I've been thinking. And unfortunately, I share things with people and like all of my friends and family, they're all incredibly normal. And so they come at me and they're like, oh, no, you know, just do more massage. Or, you know, they don't, they're not actually helping because they're just like, oh, we'll just get another credit card. It's fine. You'll be fine. Yeah.

And they're incredibly broke and they're incredibly exhausted and their marriages are incredibly on thin ice and all that stuff. Yeah, it's just normal. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So I would just plan out. And if I'm a unicorn, I'm like, okay, I have two years, two years. And if that means I'm going to get more per hour on, you know, doing the massage versus the dog washing i'm going to pick the massage even if i'm feeling like i'm getting burned out like i'm going to do what i can to get the most money as

possible as quickly as possible because we're running and if there's a day that's down and i can get on an app and walk a dog on rover i'm going to i'm going to sign myself i'm going to do it right like it's you're you're kind of plugging in where you can just like john is saying to get as much as possible. And it's going to be exhausting and it's going to be tiring and you're going to do things, you're like, I hate this. But it's also going to motivate you

to be like, I'm going to do more of this because I hate it because I hate this debt so much and I'm so pissed at it and I want it out. I want it done. So let that be the motivator too. And it's not forever.

It's not forever. That's the other thing is you can go back and enjoy life again in two years. Remember this, Nicole. I've got a lot of friends who I love. Like I love it. I just love being around strange people and fun people and bonkers. Like I've got some of the greatest friends on planet earth. They would do whatever.

I mean, they would be here in a heartbeat to help me, but they don't get a vote on how I spend my money. They don't get a vote on how I live my life or what I think peace looks like. There's a few people in my life that I've given that vote to. And so you've got a group of people in your life that you love, that you care about, but they don't give good money advice

and they don't give good life advice and they don't give good peace advice. So love them, hang out with them, share a drink with them, have some nachos, but they don't get to speak in your life about money because you have hit the road. You are running as fast as you can. And in 18, 24 months, we're going to be completely done with this nonsense, whatever it takes. And then you are going to be free. And then you're going to be explaining to them what financial peace actually

feels like. We'll be right back. 888-825-5225. This is The Ramsey Show. Let's go out to Eric in Philadelphia. What's up, Eric? Hi, how are you? Outstanding, brother. How are you? John and Rachel.

Great. Good deal. My question is, I have a car that broke down recently, and I don't have cash. I'm really like on baby step one, and I don't have the cash to fix it, and they said the transmission and the engine both need to be replaced, and it'd be like $9,000. Whoa, that sounds like a dead car, my brother. Yes, so I have two options. One would be to lease something because my credit is pretty good. I've been putting things, trying to put money aside, but I've been paying down my debt all along, keeping the car going.

But now it's like it might be too expensive. So, should I finance something or should I lease something for like under a hundred bucks a month? Or. Or. Option three. Or finance something. Oh, there's an option three? There could be an option three.

Okay. There's a bunch of other options. Lots of options here. Okay. So remind me, what do you have saved in the bank right now? Zero. I'm like on baby step one trying to get to the $1,000 point. You're trying to get to the $1,000 point.

Okay. But you're saying you're paying down debt or do you mean you are just paying minimal payments and staying current? Yes, that's correct. Okay. So you're staying current on everything. And when you do your budget at the end of the month, you have nothing. Is that what you're saying? Basically, like every dollar is being...

And I'm working. I make about $75,000 a year, and I work a lot of overtime. What's happening then? Because there's a gap between what you're making and what you have every month. Where's it going? Well, I'm about $'m about a hundred uh about 102 000 in debt what kind of debt um uh credit cards uh student loans um uh personal loans those sorts of things okay and that's what they told and i'm a budget, and so I've been trying to figure out.

Unfortunately, my wife isn't on board with me, but I've been doing this for a little over a year now and trying to get ahead, stay afloat. But unfortunately, and I've also put a little bit of money into the car along the way. Well, you had to do that. Hold on, Eric. Hold on. You were trying to drive a race car with the parking brake on.

Okay? Okay. You're trying hard. I could hear it, man. You know what you sound? You sound tired. Are you tired? Yes, I am. You sound not even tired. You sound exhausted. Are you tired? Yes, I am.

You sound, not even tired, you sound exhausted. Exhausted because your wife won't get on board with you. Exhausted because you got all this debt and you can't breathe. Exhausted that you are working way too hard to be this broke. And there's that embarrassment moment. How old are you? I'm 54. Yeah, there's that moment when you think like,

dude, I make $75,000 plus overtime, and I literally can't go get a car. Is that where this is? Right? You feel that shame that's just piling up around, you know what I mean? Yes. Are you, like, Rachel's going to walk you through this,

but you got to say, dude, I'm ready just to do it completely different. Mm-hmm. Are you there yet? Because if not, man, you're just going to tread water and you're just going to keep treading water. You're going to look up and you're going to owe $130,000. You're going to owe $150,000. Well, I'm pushing forward trying not to do that,

but I'm doing a lot of it on my own because my wife's not on board. Why won't she be on board with you? She thinks that I should just make more money, and that's okay. And I've been pressing along to try to win her over, try to get her to understand, but she just won't. Does she work? I work a lot of overtime. Yes, she does. We make roughly about the same amount. So you have a total household income of, gosh, $150,000, $175,000? Yes, probably more like $200,000. Man, you realize you could be debt-free in 18 months?

Yes. If I could get her on board, yes, I do. Okay, have you gone to her? Here's what we hear a lot, and you can tell me if I'm wrong. We hear people say, hey, honey, I've got this plan that we can get out of debt. And then they call and wonder why that didn't work. Have you sat down with your wife and taken her out to dinner? Or I love going to breakfast because the sun is shining and it's in the morning.

Have you sat down and said, honey, I'm scared to death and I can't do this anymore. I'm scared that we are one heart attack, one twisted ankle, one knee injury, one car issue. And if we will just change our life for 18 months, we're talking about the back half of our lives being a totally different experience. Have you sat down with her that way? No, I have not.

Most? I'd like to get her to go out with me, but I have not. But if I could get her to go out with me and do this, it would probably, she may consider it, but I think she believes that you shouldn't have to sacrifice. You should, you know. She's sacrificing her husband. You can't keep doing this, my brother.

You're about to die. You're one of the guys that their wife calls in because their husband just dropped dead from a heart attack because he couldn't hit an elephant on his chest for 15, 20, 30, 40 years. Right? Right. You are swimming as hard as Michael Phelps, man,

and you're going nowhere because you're attached to the buoy in the middle of the lake, man. So you said you think you can get your wife to go out with you yeah i think i can try you don't think she'll just go to dinner with you if she won't go to dinner with you you've got bigger marriage issues my man yeah that might be the case yeah and that's eric i mean that that's what we find so much is that when you get down to it and realizing okay so why is this not

working it's like oh okay well there's another person part of the equation that's not working the plan so you're digging out a hole and the bottom keeps sinking in lower and lower and lower and so it's just like it's not it really i mean i don't want to sound hopeless for you but it really really is hard for this plan to work it It's impossible. Both people are on board and you're experiencing it. Like you're telling us that and we're, we're hearing it. And so, and so out of that, even listening to you talk about your wife and stuff, I'm like, that money is just a tool, right? The end game of life is not just to go and just pile up a bunch of money. That's not the, that's something, but what money does in our life affects everything. When it's not handled properly, it affects us emotionally.

It affects us relationally. It affects our mental health. It affects our sleep at night. It affects so much. When it's handled the right way and seen, okay, this can actually like amplify our lives. We can actually give to other people that need it. We can save it for our future we can do all of these things and we're going to use it as a tool to create a life that that we want

like that that's what it's there for and so that's what i would say is now starting to expose even you and your wife because you guys aren't even y'all aren't dreaming together you're not looking at the future together you're not even eating together, my man. Yeah, so I, Eric, before the money stuff is solved, the marriage stuff needs to be talked about too. So I think you guys... Yeah, this is one of those hard moments. Do you want to stay married? Y'all are there.

If you're wondering if you can talk her into going to dinner with you or going to breakfast with you, there are way bigger issues than your money right now. How long have y'all been married? I should put that on hold. 27-odd years. No, you shouldn't put it on hold. No, it's all together.

Because we actually find, too, that when you start working together financially, it actually helps your marriage. That's right, because you're working on a common mission together. You actually start to say, oh, wow, we're communicating for the first time in two decades

about my fears and about my dreams and what I want to do and and what where i want to go on vacation like it starts opening up these conversations so you can actually use money as a pathway to start communicating in your marriage again so that's where i would start eric but to answer your original question of why you called in because you don't have a car no we would not lease a car i would not go into more debts no no no and that means you guys having one car for three months until you put some cash away and sell stuff work extra just uber wherever you got to go the next month i don't care save up two grand and go buy a beater

if you have to like that that's what it is do not go into more debt eric this has to stop at some point this has to stop at some point it needs has to stop at some point. It needs to be now. And you and your wife get together. I mean, God, man, go to therapy. Yeah. Today. 888-825-5225. This is The Ramsey Show. I'm John Deloney, joined here by my good friend, Rachel Cruz, and we're taking your calls on money and life. Let's go to Dustin in Evansville, Indiana. Hey, Dustin, what's going on, man? Hello, can you hear me?

I can. Can you hear us? All right. Yes, I can. Excellent. So what's up, brother? I've been recently having car problems to a point where the car isn't drivable. And we recently took it to the Ford dealership for them to look at it.

And they said it was something called a transmission control module. And the part is under a recall, so we don't have to pay anything for it. But they said that the part is on a back order, and it's to a point where people have been waiting months for this part. And they recently said that some of the people have been trading the car in because they've been waiting so long. And I'm looking to see, see i guess what is my best option um i guess my other option was to um to buy like a backup vehicle um or just wait it out

and just use our other vehicle my wife drove me around to work yeah have you gotten a second opinion um i have not um i would be curious than that the only reason i say that dustin is because we had an air thing that went out in our minivan and we took it to honda and went my husband took an uber to or home from the dealership and like oh you took it to the to the stealer ship did you and i was like i was like that's a funny funny way to put it but i do wonder i was like that's a funny funny way to put it but i do wonder like if there's like a you know a mechanic who's not attached to a dealership if wait what kind of options he has i absolutely would do that what are you doing for transportation

right now man um my wife's just been driving me to work every day i work kind of like a hybrid where some days i'll go in and some days I'll just work from home. Since this is a recall, is there any sort of rental reimbursement or something since they've admitted that your car is not drivable because of our fault? Well, most of the dealership that I went to told us that

there was no rental that would be available. I've kind of been doing my research online to see what other people have had the same problem. And they've all kind of had that same answer. And they've kind of just been waiting months for this part to come in. How much is the car, once it's fixed, how much will it be worth? It's probably around, I would say, $6,000 to $8,000. Okay.

Um, are they, will, is the dealership willing to give you that on a trade? I haven't asked about the trade yet. Um, that's kind of, I was just going to wait a little, a little bit longer and see. I'm Rachel. I would, I would absolutely see. Here's, um, again, I don't want to throw any dealership under the bus, but I always look at who's going to make money off this deal. Right. again, I don't want to throw any dealership under the bus, but I always look at who's going to make money off this deal. And I know a dealership makes money when they do a transaction. And I know a dealership makes money when they fix a car. And so if there's a way that they can

encourage a transaction and encourage you to potentially take on a car payment and we'll give you 4,000 for it right now, go ahead and get you another car. It may be months and months. We don't know when you're going to be driving. I'm not saying that they're unethical or they're trying to steal from you. I'm just saying that the incentive is there. A mechanic who just run a mechanic shop has one incentive. That's to fix your car so you'll pay them. I would go check that out first and see. I wouldn't even tell them about your experience at the dealership yet. I would take my car there and say, hey, here's, or have it towed there. And it's worth $120 to figure it out before you go do something worth thousands and thousands of bucks.

And I'd go get a second opinion on that. And once it's fixed, Dustin, is it the kind of car that you've had issues with and you're like, God, I kind of want to upgrade? Like, are you ready for, like, is that the next step? Or once it's fixed, you're like, oh, no want to upgrade like are you ready for like is that the next step or once it's fixed you're like oh no i can drive for another year or two um well it's only got 80 000 miles on it so i'm sure it's got plenty of life still in it yeah yeah i would i mean since the repair is free at the dealership and going getting a second opinion um i would just i would wait it out if you could even even though it's super annoying with having one car, but people do that all the time.

So it's doable considering that the repair is going to be free. I'd also call the dealership man and see if you can get some sort of clothing. Credit even, like a credit for something. I don't know. And I'm not saying all dealerships are stealers. That's what you said. No, I didn't mean to say that all over America. It was just a funny joke.

It is. I thought it was funny. Just threatening people's businesses. From the Uber driver. I was like, that's a funny, that's a funny. All right, let's go to Chris in Cookville. Hey, Chris, what's going on? Hey, how are you? I have a question about potentially selling a business and kind of what your thoughts are on that. We have two mortgages, one for rental property, one for our primary home. And other than that, we don't have any other debt, but those are obviously sizable debts.

And a couple options for selling the business. One would be, in one scenario, we could potentially pay off both houses quickly at closing. Another scenario, one of the houses, we like the second scenario better because of the people. And I know you guys are all for small businesses. So I guess just kind of wondering what your thoughts are on all of that. Do you want to be out of this business? We kind of do, my wife and I, yes. What does kind of mean?

Well, we're fatigued from it and we're kind of ready to be done with it. What does kind of mean? Yeah, are you in or out? Just say, dude, we want to sell this business. Or does she want to sell it and you want to keep it or vice versa? Or no, we're done. I'd say pretty much leaning towards no, we're done. Kind of, pretty much. Are you in or out?

I'd say out. You feel good about that? Yes. Yeah. And I guess that's really the purpose of the question is there are times I'm on the fence because, you know, I love the income from the business and the potential of where it could go. What do you want to do after you sell? Do you have a... Well, we have some projects we'd like to work on and we would also stay on for a time. Or I would. I say we. So you would take a paycheck for a season? Yeah. While you figured out

what came next? Mm-hmm. I don't know. If you want to quit the business and they're going to keep you on and pay your bills and you're going to be debt-free and have a free rental home,

I'd sell it. I don't know what the concern is. Here's the deal. Just because you miss it doesn't mean it's right. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? It's natural to miss it when you transition out of that. That's okay. You know what I mean? It's natural to miss it when you

transition out of that. That's okay. You can date somebody for a long time and you break up and it's painful, even though the breakup was the right thing to do. And you miss them and you miss laughing and you pick up your phone to call them, but you know that long-term that was the right thing to do. It could be very similar here. The real question is less about what we could do with this money. Like, do you want to be in this business or not, man? Yeah. Yeah, and that's, I guess, the only reason it's not 100% no is because, well, there's just always that doubt. But I think my wife would be much happier if I was not, and chances are my kids would be.

Yeah. And I think, did you start the business, Chris, from the ground up? Yes. Yeah. So you're the first generation, you know, business owner and you guys naturally always are going to have it. Yeah. You're going to have an emotional tie to it. But if it's kind of run its course and you see other things out there in life that you're like that, other things get you excited and you built this thing and you can sell it and you can do some great stuff with the money and then you can continue to live a great life and do other great stuff, then that's awesome. But if you love the business and you want to be in it

and you and your wife still are good with it, you can totally stay in it. You can also keep the business and sell the rental house that you can't afford and hire somebody to provide you some relief so you can spend more time with your wife and kids. So you don't have to box yourself into an either or corner here, right? Yeah.

So in the two scenarios for selling, the one where we could pay off. Yeah. So the second one, it's the people you like. So you have two offers, basically. Yeah. And you like the second people better. Is that right? You know them or you just feel better about that?

But is it a worse offer? How much of a loss will you take if you did that versus the first? Well, the thing is it's almost an equal amount, but it's structured differently. Oh, okay. Just different amount at closing. And so the first one has a less favorable structure, but more closing. Okay. Yeah.

I mean, if you just want to get out, cash out, obviously that's when you just take the money and go. But if it's someone that you love and you're going to be your boss for three, four years, then that might be the better end of the deal is that looking at the actual person. But I guess it's what you guys are. The ultimate, the end game is for you. Is it the money or is it what your life's going to be like in the next and you got to make a call brother and to be a peace make a call Today's scripture of the day is second corinthians 5 17 therefore if anyone is in christ he's a new creation the old has passed away behold the new has come stephen covey says be patient with yourself

self growth is tender it's holy ground and there's no greater investment. Rachel, I love that. Something I've started, it hit me six or seven months ago. I often make life change into moral and character issues. Like you better do this or you're the worst or you suck at this. And I started realizing it. You know what? Most people don't have a set of tools in their toolkit. Like it's a set of skills. And so I'm going to practice. No, I don't know how to talk to my wife after we have two kids because I've never done this before.

So I'm going to practice and I'm going to ask for your forgiveness. And I'm going to say, I didn't say that one right. The same way as if I'm trying to learn how to do drywall and it hangs sideways a little bit, right? I'm going to practice it. Next time I know I'm trying to learn how to do drywall and it hangs sideways a little bit, right? I'm going to practice it. Next time I know I'm going to adjust a little bit better. But I think that if we stop talking to ourselves in ways that we would never let somebody else talk to one of our friends. And we started giving ourselves some grace and saying, I'm going to practice this.

I'm going to actually show up and keep trying and keep trying and keep trying. I think there'd be a lot more peace in our homes and in our hearts and in our neighborhoods and in our country i really believe that yeah it's just the and i love that idea of just practice it's like i'm trying this out i'm not good at it i'm gonna stumble my way through it so give me grace in it and when the other person extends that oh man it's everything so it's on both ends right extending? Extending grace to people when necessary. And then just imagine you can tell me, like, imagine being a wife. And we'll just use Winston for an example, because let's be honest, he's like one of the worst guys.

Anybody's mad, right? But if Winston was the guy who came home and just had three or four beers and watched Netflix and played the occasional video game and told the kids to keep it down, whatever. And then one day he came in and said, I don't, I'm choosing to be miserable and I'm choosing for us to not have our best marriage. I want to try something different and I'm going to have to practice coming home and I'm not going to say it right. Would you do this with me? I mean, I got to imagine that would just be. A wife would. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I got to imagine that would just be a wife would. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think that'd be amazing, but it takes humility to do that. Right. It does. It does. Or it does take humility, but also takes looking in the mirror and saying, okay, I'm trying to hang this drywall. This way doesn't work. And the walls keep falling. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't I just try

something else? Right. Once I try something different. Um, I remember Dave and I talked about when he, you know, he's three or four years out of bankruptcy. And that's when, you know, you had to pay the piper on your marriage. And he talked about him and Sharon saying, we're getting real close. And they went and got a marriage counselor. And I said, that was rare in the 80s for a guy to have the courage to go to a marriage counselor. And he said, there's a set of skills I didn't have. I needed to learn something new.

And that's the person who knows how to teach me those skills. And I thought, man, if everybody had that attitude, it would be a different world, believe me. Yeah, yeah. All right, let's go to Carol in Wisconsin. What's up, Carol? Hi, it's a pleasure to talk to you guys. It's a pleasure to talk to you.

What's up? I had mentioned to my 16-year-old niece if she'd ever thought about opening opening an ira for herself um my sister told me that i um to mind my own business and i crossed the line i agree carol what in the world are you trying to do? Corrupting your niece with those IRAs. Trying to give her wise financial advice. How dare you, Aunt Carol? Right. Why did she say you crossed the line?

Why did she get mad? She thought it was her and her husband's business to take care of her financial business. What's y'all's relationship in general? What's your relationship to your sister

and to your niece or your brother? Whichever one. Are y'all close? Are y'all like all that? I thought we were. I'm trying to think of my sister. If my sister... It's not like you had the sex talk with a kid or something, right?

If my sister was like, to my 12-year-old, listen, you want to go liquor than beer, not beer than liquor, right? So we're going to take some shots and we're going to, yes, I would say you overstepped your bounds. But if my sister was like, hey, here's how I do money. Here's a 401k. And it disagrees with how I do it. I would say, A, thank you for loving my son. And B, hey, Hank, this is how we do it in our house, right? for loving my son and be a Hank this is how we do

it in our house right yeah I don't know I'm sorry Carol it's really more of her stuff than that like it's more her issues she's she's I don't know what she's feeling John tell her tell Carol what her sister's the only thing I can think of is if you know that your sister and her husband are are in in debt to their eyeballs and are stressed all the time, and you went behind their back and knowingly said, hey, hey, hey, psst, psst, psst, psst, I got a better way of doing it. Then that's overstepping your bounds because it wasn't about a money thing. It was about you kind of flexing as a sub-parent. And that's never cool. If that's what you did, then yeah, your sister's right. But if you just were trying to be loving and thought,

hey, have you ever thought about putting money in the IRA? I don't know. I would call my sister and I would take her to lunch and just say, hey, we got bigger fish to fry. What's going on? Which one wasn't? Sure. I'm not really sure.

Like, I don't know where she's coming from or what she is feeling. So. Yeah. I think the best path forward is to call your sister and say, Hey sis, what's going on? And just Rachel, just so you know, just as my friend, if you ever see one of my kids, Hank and Josephine, you can be like, pull them aside and be like, Hey, you should put your money in an IRA one day. Feel free to do so. I'm sorry, Carol. Carol, I'm sorry. I don't, yeah, it's a little bizarre to me. Are they, do they struggle financially, the parents? They're really quiet about their financial matters,

so I'm not really 100% sure. So you may have hit a hot button with her. Yeah, a shame button, yeah. There may have been something that like, maybe they struggle, you know, whatever it is, or they thought they'd be further ahead financially and they're not and she's questioning are we doing this right? Are we okay?

And by you suggesting something to the niece could make them feel like, well, gosh, I'm not getting it right and I'm going to screw up my daughter. They're grasping for control or whatever it may be. How dare you talk to her. There's more issues, I'd say, more of her issues than what you did i got what

you did was not wrong unless it was option one like john said here's how to approach it sneaky and like hey here's how to approach it hey you don't seem like you're doing okay are you okay because i love you you're my sister and i clearly made you upset and i'm so sorry for for for making you sad um what's going on and i'd start there yeah all right let's go to uh oh go ahead making you sad i thought you're not i thought your whole thing is like you don't make people with your kids don't okay i'm sorry i made you sad but you can't make someone sad they choose to be sad right i i agree with that yes is that true yes but um yes you're correct um but if i sat down with you and said i'm sorry that I did a thing

and you chose to get mad about it, that's not going to go well. So yes, it is semantics. You're right, but it is semantics. Okay. Yes, you're right. Nobody has the power to make you sad. We accept that, right?

We choose to be sad about things. But in everyday conversation, you don't have to use that language. I wouldn't. There wouldn't be a way I would start an apology. It's scary when people take your advice, isn't it, John? Yeah, it's really great. Rachel, the literalist.

That's the one piece you picked up on? It is. I was like, I can't believe he's telling her something that's not true. There you go, America. Sorry. I'm making this up as I go. Way to go. Way to go, Rachel.

All right. Well, now we're going to... Yeah, we got time. Let's go. We'll go quick. We'll go quick. JD in Cincinnati. We're right up against the clock. Get straight to, Rachel. All right. Well, now we're going to – yeah, we got time. Let's go. J.D. in Cincinnati. We're right up against the clock. Get straight to your question. What's up?

Hey, guys. So I'm saving up about $1,000 a month right now, and come June next year, I should have enough money for a 30% to 40% down payment on my house. Excellent. Now, the smart thing to do would be to take $1,000 and throw it all at my mortgage, but would it be okay or wise to take a part of that $1,000 and save it aside for a really big toy,

namely a convertible Ford Mustang? Do you have another car? I do. I'm not selling that one. Okay. So you'll be on... You're going to be on baby steps four, five, and six at that point. So we always say you can kind of let the foot off the gas, go on a good vacation.

You could upgrade your car. I mean, having an extra car around, you could. I wouldn't spend a ton of money on it. Yeah. How much would it be? No more than $18,000. I'm buying used, of course. Than 18.

Here's what I would tell you. I wouldn't, but I think we don't have a problem with it. It's not a huge deal. You're fine. I wouldn't, but knock your lights out. Just make sure you put 20% down on your home. Yeah, he said 30%, which is great. You should be good.

You're doing great, JD. Hey, thank you, America, for being with us today. We will see you soon right here on The Ramsey Show. Hey, it's John Deloney, co-host of The Ramsey Show. Did you know over 18 million people listen to The Ramsey Show every week? A lot of those people listen on one of our 600-plus radio stations across the country. To find a station near you, go to ramseysolutions.com slash show. Hey, it's James, producer of The Ramsey Show.

This episode is over, but check the episode notes for links to products and services you heard about during this episode. Thanks for listening.