The Ramsey Show - App - The Hard Road Is The One That Moves You Forward
Episode Date: November 26, 2025🤔 Think you’re good with money? Take our Money in America... quiz! Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze answer your questions and discuss: "When is a person financially secure enough to quit a job they hate?" "Can we buy a house and a car while we are in Baby Step 2?" "Am I being unfair to my wife by leaving only one of my insurance policies in her name?" "How do I get my wife to be more gazelle intense?" "My daughter wants us to pay for her destination wedding but they have already been married for two years". Next Steps: 📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 weekdays from 2–5 p.m. ET or send us an email 📱 Get episodes early in the free Ramsey Network app 💵 Start your free budget today by downloading the EveryDollar app 🛒 Lowest prices of the year—24 hours only. Don’t miss Cyber Monday gifts as low as $3.99! 🤓 File your taxes with 100% accurate software that’s less than half of the price 💻 Find out where you stand with your money and get a free plan. Connect With Our Sponsors: Stop paying more and start shopping smarter at ALDI Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp Go to Boost Mobile to switch today Go to Casper Sleep and use promo code RAMSEY to learn more Learn more about Christian Healthcare Ministries. Get started today with Churchill Mortgage Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe Go to FAIRWINDS Credit Union for an exclusive account bundle Debt collectors hassling you? Take back control of your life at Guardian Litigation Group Find top health insurance plans at Health Trust Financial Use code RAMSEY to save 20% at Mama Bear Legal Forms Visit NetSuite today to learn more For more information, go to SimpliSafe Get started with YRefy or call 844-2-RAMSEY Visit Zander Insurance for your free instant quote today Explore more from Ramsey Network: 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
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Normal is broken common sense is weird, so we're here to help you transform your life.
From the Ramsey Network and the Fair Winds Credit Union Studio, this is the Ramsey show.
I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Rachel Cruz, number one best-selling office.
Ramsey Personality, and my daughter is my co-host on this Thanksgiving Eve.
If you don't know, William Henry Seward, William Seward, was Abraham Lincoln's Secretary of State.
He was also the brains behind that presidency in a lot of ways, including he wrote a lot of Abraham Lincoln's speeches that became world-renowned and famous, including the
this proclamation that was issued October the 3rd, 1863, right in the middle of the Civil War.
The Civil War would end about 18 months after this was, the proclamation was issued by the
President of the United States of America.
Here's Lincoln.
The year that is drawing towards its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields
and healthful skies.
to these bounties which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come.
Others have been added, which are of so extraordinary in nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften,
even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God.
In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity,
which has sometimes seemed to foreign states to invite and to provoke their aggression,
peace has been preserved with all nations.
Order has been maintained.
The laws have been respected and obeyed,
and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theater of military conflict,
while that theater has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union.
Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defense have not arrested the plow, the shuttle, or the ship.
The axe has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore.
population has steadily increased notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp
the siege and the battlefield and the country rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented
strength and vigor is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom
no human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things
they are the gracious gifts of the most high God
who while dealing with us in anger for our sins
hath nevertheless remembered mercy
it seemed to me fit and proper
that they should be solemnly reverently
and gratefully acknowledged
as with one heart and one voice by the whole American people
I do therefore invite my fellow citizens
in every part of the United States
and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands
to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next
as a day of Thanksgiving and praise
to our beneficent father who dwelleth in the heavens.
And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions
justly due to him for such singular deliverances and blessings,
they do also with humble penitence for our national perverseness
and disobedience commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners,
or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged,
and fervently implore the interposition of the almighty hand to heal the wounds of the nation
and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the divine purposes to the full and
of peace, harmony, tranquility, and union.
In testimony whereof I have heretofore set my hand and caused the seal of the United
States to be affixed done at the city of Washington this third day of October,
the year of our Lord, 1,863, President Abraham Lincoln.
Wow.
I've read that every year that I've been on the air for 30-something years, and I never get over it.
Some of you people think I'm a cornball, but it's my show, so shut up.
I'm just signing up for head cornball, that's me, but I mean, the president of the United States
issues a proclamation to say thank you to God for his blessings.
And if you didn't hear that in there, you weren't listening.
That's exactly what this says.
And it's so far afield from the way people think today, and especially people in Washington, D.C.,
think today. And, but man, what a great reminder of the greatness of these men. Yeah. And that their
source was their faith. Yeah. Well, and the acknowledgment of where they were at. You know,
they were not naive to what was going on. And even the line with the, I don't know if I've ever,
I mean, you said you've read this for every, yeah, I read it every Thanksgiving Eve.
Apparently, I haven't done the show with you on this day. The other part of the cornball experience,
the other part of the cornball experiences, as you call in today, you have to tell us what you're
thankful for. That's your ticket to own with the show. There you go. One thing. I love it. Um, but no,
it was the part with those who are mourning and those who are orphaned and widowed. You know what I
mean? Like it's, it's the reality of the world. And so I like that they don't shy, that he doesn't
shy away from it. And yet, rising above to the greatest message of what can be and what we're all,
you know what I mean? It rises you up out of it. Yeah, it's a different. I, yeah. And even,
I mean, Seward is Secretary of State. So he goes ahead and sends a message.
to the other countries that think they might come in while we're weakened and let them know
that we're at peace with you and you probably want to keep it that way. He just sent a little
a little shot out over the bow there. This is it. This is what caused Thanksgiving, like this was
the official. This is the formation. Now, George, George Washington did a proclamation that actually
I don't know whether AI's got this wrong because it's picking it up out of Reddit because nothing
you read on Reddit's true. But somebody posted the thing the other day that
sounded similar to this from Washington, so I don't know if that's a mess up or if Seward stole
some of Washington's proclamation. But George Washington did do a Thanksgiving, but this is the
time that the actual made it a national holiday, the third Thursday of November. And it was
in the middle of the Civil War. And it is so poetic and people don't say beneficent anymore. I've never
said beneficent in my life, except when I've read this. So, yeah, that's just, I mean, it's amazing,
though when you just say the hand of the almighty yeah i mean this is vernacular that we don't use and
we probably should hello we probably ought to step back and go who is really in charge here
guess what it's not a republican or a democrat get thank god you know i mean because they can
mess up christmas and thanksgiving and so i mean my gosh but i thank god you know thank god it is god
that the watchful providence of Almighty God.
And the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of a nation and to restore it.
Beautiful.
Yep.
Beautiful.
Very poetic.
Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Amen.
Open phones here at AAA 825-5-225.
Bradley is with us with us in Oregon.
Bradley is with us in Oregon.
What are you thankful for?
I am thankful to live in America.
Amen.
A lot of countries in the world, like, you know what, for all the problems in America, I'd rather take care of.
I'm thankful that Almighty God put me here.
Amen.
Amen.
Thank you, sir.
How can we help?
Yeah, a quick question.
This might be one of the shorter calls on the Ramsey show.
My question is, where in the baby steps is a person financially secure enough to quit a job that
they don't like and start doing what they do want to do?
My current job is paying decently well, but otherwise I don't like it.
it. As soon as I get to the point where I know that I can quit, I will hand in my resignation notice.
What would you go do?
What would you go do?
Training horses and trimming their hooves.
I can make pretty good money underneath a horse.
The only problem is that I need to get the clientele built up, and so there would be a couple months
timeline there that I need to have something.
So is it called a furrier, a furrier, what's it called?
A ferrier.
Ferrier.
Ferrier.
Horshering, trimming, that kind of thing.
Okay.
And so why can't you start that as a side hustle?
I do that on Saturdays and holidays and evenings and stuff like that.
As I do, my current job, I'm working up to 60 hours a week.
So there's not always a whole lot of time in evenings and stuff like that.
Can you dial back the hours on the job you hate?
Unfortunately, no.
Okay. Because what I'd love to do is it's not a baby steps thing, and it's not really how much money you have in the bank thing.
It's a, when you can get your income on the ferrier side hustle up close to your current income, then it make, you know, you can make as much doing that, then go do something you like instead of something you hate, right?
So what are you making as a ferrier? What was your income last year?
Well, I don't have, it's not a full time. It's just, I know. Did you not pay taxes on it?
No. Okay. So what did you make? Do you have any idea?
It's about $100 an hour when I do it. So a Saturday could be $300, $400 without any problem at all.
So let's say you're making a couple grand a month on a good month.
Yeah.
What do you make at your day job?
About $5,000 a month.
All right. So how close do you want to get the $2,000 to the $5,000 before you walk?
out is the question pretty close i want to step into the boat i don't want to leap to the boat right
exactly so i'm going to figure out some way to dial up the side hustle and get that moving and
the only other thing you could do is just pile up a huge pile of cash to cover you to and make the
transition but honestly i've had people that that that screws them up because then they live out of
that cash instead of making their business work and i want you to make this new business work
and know that it's going to work and know there's enough horses in your area and
enough business in your area for you to make $5,000, $6,000 a month.
And do you feel like realistically, Bradley, that that's possible?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's definitely possible.
There's quite a bit of money in this area and a lot of horses, pasture ordinance,
kind of thing.
Who's your competition?
Not very many people, unfortunately.
Failures have a reputation for not returning calls and stuff like that.
So anybody that returns calls and-
So if you price reasonable and-
your price reason is going to return the call and show up, business is going to be all over you.
Probably.
Bradley, for a month, how much does it take to operate your household where you're not stressed,
but you're like, you're comfortable?
$4,000 is pretty tight.
Okay, okay.
Does your wife work?
She's full-time stay-at-home mom.
She works more than I do.
I didn't mean that.
I mean, I should have said, does she earn an income?
I'm sorry.
Okay.
No, is the answer.
So she does not earn a income.
income.
Yeah, I just want you to get close to where you're not just, you know, jumping off and
praying there's water in the pool, right?
So that, and the only way to do that is some, I would prescribe, and I've done this,
that's why I can say it, I would prescribe that you take your side hustle and make it highly
uncomfortable for a year because you're working like an absolute maniac to prove to yourself
and your wife that you can make a living do it.
that by getting your income up to three, four, five thousand dollars a month on the side hustle
and push back on your existing job, try to get as much time as you can away from them
legally without hurting them in any way and that kind of thing. But 60 hours is pretty much a
stretch. If you can get dialed back towards 40, you could really use that extra hours to
crank up. And that means you're not going to see a television or a sporting event.
You're going to be doing horses hooves for a year, dude, like all the time.
Because if you prove to yourself that you can do this, walking out on the other thing is very easy.
Yeah.
Let me give you an example.
Let's pretend, and this can't happen, but let's pretend that you could make $7,000 a month with a side hustle.
You could quit your job in about 30 seconds, right?
Mm-hmm.
That's what I'm trying to get you toward.
You're not going to get to seven.
But if I can get you close to the five, then it's easy to make this decision.
Well, and I assume, too, if there's people around, if you're making two to three thousand,
on just Saturdays and nights, you can easily pick up another thousand.
So to me, it feels doable.
Yeah, I think what I'm telling you is crank up the intensity about six notches on the
side hustle to prove to yourself that it's okay to quit and make it your full-time gig.
That's the prescription.
It's not a baby step thing, and it's not, you've got to have $10,000 in the bank.
It's not any of that.
Because if you had $40,000 in the bank and you burn $4,000 a month in 10 months
because you suck at doing this business on the side and it doesn't pan out.
All you did is quit your job and go broke.
And that's not what I want you to do.
And sometimes people do that stuff.
So doing it this way makes you prove to yourself that the market is there,
that you can make a living doing this, and you build it and grow it from there.
And that's exactly the direction I would go.
Abby's with us in Virginia Beach.
Hey, Abby, what are you thankful for?
Hi, I'm thankful for family.
I have a husband and two little babies right now.
Yay.
Busy at your house.
How can we help today?
So I have a question about debt and then buying a car and then renting versus buying.
But anyway, my husband and I are on baby step number two.
We have about $50,000 left in our debt.
And we have $202 right now.
And we're thinking about purchasing a new car just because of two little kids, our cars are cramped right now.
And then also, we're renting currently.
My husband's in the military, but we were thinking about buying a house.
So I was just curious what your perspective on those would be.
Are the cars, are they running okay, Abby?
Yeah, yeah.
They're both 2015.
My car, I mean, they're both, you know, 10 years right now.
So they are starting to have little things.
Like I just replaced my AC a couple months ago.
my husband just had to get something down on his car. I can't remember. But they're both kind of
like having small hiccups currently. Yeah. And do you guys have any money saved? We do. We have about
$17,000 in like our savings emergency fund. Okay, okay. And how much debt do you have 50?
Yeah, so I would... About 50. Yeah. So you didn't loan debt. My husband went to the law school.
So we've paid about 25,000 of it. Or no, I'm sorry, about 30,000 of it. But we have
50 to go.
Okay.
Well, yeah, so I would, honestly, Abby, I would throw that money at the debt, and I would be
driving the cars until you guys are out of Baby Step 2.
So, no, you don't need to buy a house, and I really wouldn't even buy a new car.
I mean, I would push myself, and it is, I know there's probably so much stuff, but with two
kids.
What's your household income?
He makes about $100,000 a year.
So if you put 16 of the 17 on the debt and had $1,000, $1,000.
which is the true baby, then you would actually be on baby step two.
Right now you're not, okay?
Okay.
Then you would have $33,000 left, and you make $100,000 a year,
and you live on beans and rice, rice and beans,
and you attack this debt with a vengeance.
Aren't you out of debt in a year?
Yeah, I would hope so.
I would hope so, too.
And so one year from now, you move up in cars,
and then you start saving towards your emergency fund,
and then you start saving towards a house.
Okay.
I guess to not hold you guys up, but also with the, like, attacking the debt, is it, I guess, how do I say this?
I don't work.
I'm a stay-at-home mom, so, like, sometimes trying to attack debt is hard because I don't work.
No, it's not hard.
You make a hundred, your husband makes $100,000 a year.
You need $33.
That leaves $67.
that's if you want to do some side stuff that's fine but you have too little as you being at home
we're not going to shame you for if that's what you're asking but you know buckle the kids in
the tight little car for a year and get yourself clear girl and then you can go live a good life
Brian is in Oregon.
Brian, what are you thankful for on this Thanksgiving Eve?
Family, for sure.
Amen.
How can we help today?
So thanks for taking my call.
My fiancé and I are having a debate we want your help with.
So May 8th of 26, we will be blending families,
and we have five children, 30, 29, 28.
27 and 23.
I have two life insurance policy, one that she is the sole beneficiary of, and then one
that my children would be the sole beneficiaries of.
So she thinks that I should leave both policies to her and let her distribute that
equally, which I'm not in disagreement with.
We're just kind of looking for some direction that way.
okay the purpose of life insurance is not to leave an estate the purpose of life insurance is to support the people you leave behind that are counting on your income to eat none of those grown people should be counting on your income to eat okay and so I would not keep a life insurance in order to distribute to them whether directly or indirectly through her that's not a reason to keep life insurance I wouldn't go to the expense I would use my money bill wealth and let that be distributed
to either her or them in the will.
And you can decide that then.
So what do you make?
A year?
Well, that's a great question.
Barely graduated from high school, almost flunked out of college,
but with Drew before they kicked me out,
and I make probably about $180 a year.
Well, sounds like you've overachieved.
Well, done.
Good for you, buddy. What do you do, man? That's awesome.
Well, I'm blessed. I have a dream job. I'm an electrical inspector, and then I have a side hustle.
Good for you. And what does your fiancé do? She's a teacher.
Ah, okay. So she makes what?
She makes maybe 60 to 70 a year.
Okay. Cool. All right. So what I would do is put
your new household together in such a way that if something happened to you that she's in good
shape that's what insurance is for and the same thing vice versa if you're dependent upon her 70 a year
to eat then we would want to replace that income by having a lump sum to invest and that's what
life insurance is for but to leave it to a 31 year old child no not a chance i'm not keeping that
i'll put that money in my pocket and tell tell you to know that she's probably smiling very
big right now because she said that very same thing oh wow so i do wonder though it's always hard
with blended families when you get married later and you have adult children and a new spouse
enters when you are redoing your will your estate very difficult how you so that would be
more of a question brian i think for your kids of what's left to them of yours um i mean let's
let's say you had a million dollars in your 401
K's right you're saying instead of life insurance we're changing the discussion to keep the
but to keep the spirit of the question alive for a second um yeah what would we do with that how
do you distribute that to a blended family well the first thing i would do um i don't know okay so
uh or like if you came into this marriage with some money as an example that that that kind
of in your mind is allocated to your kids upon your death more than your
spouse, but you obviously love this person and want to take care of them with some of the money
you're bringing into the marriage. So that's something, that's the same sticky wicket, as they say,
that you've got to have that same exact discussion, but with a different product, not life
insurance, but a pile of wealth. If you don't have a pile of wealth today, you don't have to
figure that out, but it's, it does, it is a good, it's a healthy discussion to have, especially
in the fiancé stage. Well, that's what I was wondering with your fiancee, where the spirit was,
don't leave them anything? They're fine? Or was it, oh, no, it's life insurance. They don't need
life insurance. Do you know what I mean? That's what I was trying to gauge of. Yeah, no, I think it's
more of what you said that they're 30-year-olds. They don't need any kind of large lump sum of money
to, and it's not that she wouldn't distribute it equally. It's just that I just had a notion that I
just wanted to do it that way. Well, I mean, so what I would tell you guys to work through a
similar question so the question is she wins on the life insurance thing okay you don't need life
insurance to do that so let's don't do that but now let's have a similar discussion that says as
we build wealth if i die before you or you die before me how much of it's going to be left to the
remaining spouse and how much of it's going to be left to the kiddos and um if you guys are
starting without much wealth right now you're starting your new marriage without a big
net worth, it probably would just be, it all goes to spouse and the spouse figures it out.
But oftentimes when you got blended, one of you is coming into the, like, I own a house
and I got $400,000 worth of equity in that, okay?
And the fiancé's, how does that go to the fiancé's kids?
Right.
You know, that doesn't make sense, kind of, you know, and you kind of got to go, ugh,
I don't know, now I've got to talk through that.
And these are good, healthy discussions because it makes you work.
through because what you know what what because people assume things yes and you
don't want to assume things and what he just said a little bit of like well she just
said they don't need a big pile of money okay well they don't need a big pile of
money from a life insurance policy because that's that's not the reason for life but do
they need a big pile of money from their dad who worked hard and has some and then you just get
you know what I mean like that's a different pile of money yeah and I don't know how to I
I don't know. But that's a decision and discussions you guys have to have. When it comes to your will and your estate and your assets, that's hard. That's hard. But it is, the reason it's important is to, if you can come into alignment on those kinds of things, when there are no emotions or limited emotions, because we're not in the middle of grief or we're not in the middle of a cancer diagnosis, or we're not in the middle of an argument after,
death with the ones left behind, you know.
Well, Daddy always said he's going to give it to me, and now look at that
the gold digger, she took it all, you know, that kind of crap, right?
And that's exactly how it sounds 99% of the time if you don't work this stuff out
ahead of time.
So you need to work it out ahead of time because you guys coming into agreement on
that is more important for your marriage and your relationship than it is actually about
the distribution of the money.
Yeah, and the health of the family after, you know.
And everybody, and then everybody knows.
Yes.
You know, she and I decided you get nut and honey.
That's what, just like the cereal, you get nut and honey.
That's the deal.
What's that?
It's a cereal.
Honeynut Cheerios?
Yeah.
Nutten, honey.
Yeah.
It's a thing.
Probably in the early 80s.
Well, it might have been in the 70s.
I don't know.
I have flashbacks these days.
It's my age.
Oh, no.
Flashbacks from commercials from the 60s.
Oh, my gosh.
Anyway, that's what you get, nothing, honey.
I mean, you just tell them up front.
Everyone needs a will, and if you're going to piss somebody off with a will, do it while you're alive.
Don't leave it to the people left behind to do all the getting, everybody getting pissed off thing.
Go ahead and deal with it.
And do have the backbone to implement it.
Have a reading of the will while you're alive.
It's highly uncomfortable.
I call it the Monty Python meeting because I sit there and listen to what's going to happen when I die that I have planned out and I'm going.
it's just a flesh wound. I'm feeling much better. You know, I'm really not sick. And so, you know,
when Dave dies meeting. That's like basically what's on our calendar. That's what we call it,
when Dave dies meeting, you know, once a year. And everybody knows that way. There's no freaking
confusion. And it's really healthy for everyone involved, but particularly the husband and the wife.
Which means to do a will. We had our money and marriage event, Dr. John Deloney and I a few weeks ago,
and we were walking through a financial checklist in one of the sessions, talking,
through. I mean, it was kind of boring. I was like, free spirits, you got to stay with me because
it's kind of like boring adult stuff. But we talked about a will for a good bit of just what that
looks like, what to do. And then afterwards, at the end of the whole weekend, we had people
write what they're going to do with their marriage when they leave, you know, certain things
they're going to implement. And we, you know, I was thinking like communication, you know,
our thoughts about intimacy, like all these big discussions we talk about. There were so many that
said we're making a will, which means they don't have one. So it's a reminder to all of you out
there, make a will. Mama Bear legal forms is a great side. We need to get Mama Bear to throw that
in in the package when they come all the way over here. I'm not kidding. The amount of people
that were like, we're going to do a will. Do a will while you're sitting here. Like you have
to do a little workshop. So do a state specific. Well, if your state's not complicated, you can do an
online one. You can save the fees for all the attorneys and everything. If your net worth's over a
million dollars, you need to do a, you know, a more detailed one, but I'm telling you, do a will.
When did you do your will at a marriage conference?
Do you ever feel like you're doing everything right with your money?
Maybe you've made changes and you had a few wins, but something still.
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Jake is in North Dakota.
Jake, what are you thankful for?
I'm thankful Christ died for my sins, Dave.
Amen and amen.
I better get for that.
Never gets old.
Never gets old.
the greatest story ever told.
How can we help today?
Amen.
Well, I recently read your book, Total Money Makeover.
My wife and I have been kind of paying attention to your show for about a year now,
and we've been able to merge our finances.
We used to have separate accounts, but we've merged everything together.
We've been paying down on our debt, but I would like to be more intense about it,
and I don't know how to get her on board with that.
I don't want to be forceful.
it's not my will to be forceful about it with her, but I would like us to be more intense
and get out of debt.
Okay, so what does that mean practically?
Do you feel like you could be, I mean, how much more money do you feel like you could
be throwing at the debt per month that you guys are just spending?
Quite a bit.
We've got, we've got two car payments that I would love to get rid of.
I'd like to sell both vehicles.
She's not on board with that, at least at this time.
debt-wise, we have just under $300,000 in debt.
Counting your mortgage?
That's everything, yeah.
Yeah, how much is that your mortgage?
How much is that your mortgage?
About $184 in a mortgage.
You have $16,000 in debt?
No, no, no, no, $160, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, I missed it.
Okay, $116, okay.
That sounds about right, yep.
And is that, what does that consist of the second mortgage?
Okay.
What's your household? What's your household income?
About 160, 170 a year without overtime.
How long you all been married?
Boy, since 2012. I've got to think for a minute.
13 years.
Okay.
When did you guys just start this? You said you just read the book and you're starting this process.
How long has it been?
We started this at about the end of March of this year.
That's when you combined the finances?
Yes, sir.
talking about doing it for a number of years, but we just never pulled the trigger, did it.
What does she do for later?
We both got ourselves into.
She works for, trying to find the words for it.
She, they deal with, like, selling health insurance benefits to businesses.
She's like a consultant doing that.
Okay.
And what's her hesitation when she, when you said, I want to sell the cars and she doesn't?
What's her reasoning behind that?
she just doesn't want to she likes the car and i don't i don't blame her they're i mean we bought both
of them brand new in 2021 yeah um but you know she she doesn't want to sell that and get into
something unreliable we live in the north where it's uh winters are harsh and we either one of us
wants to be in something unreliable driving our kids around but yeah yeah um out of the 116
how much are the cars what are the car paying the car loans the 25 000 o o
on hers and 23 on mine.
So half of its cars.
Okay. Yeah. The other hat, well, almost.
And again, 49 is the second mortgage. We have about 18,000 in credit card debt, which
we've been hemorrhaging money and paying down a lot of credit card debt.
Have you cut up your credit cards?
I have not cut that one up, but it is not carried with it. How often do you go out to
eat? We don't. We cook at home. I hunt and fish, so we provide as much of our food the natural
way that we can. Well, that's nice. Well, you've got a good place to do that. Um, so do you,
so again, this not selling cars would not be gazellant tense. I understand that. And then per month,
how much could you, where else could you be saving money? What else would you cut out that you would if
if it was up to you, where are you guys spending that you want to cut?
Um, I guess we, we budget, uh, a little bit extra in the, um, each month for just, you know,
things, pursuing our own interests, I guess.
So this mainly comes down to the question of intensity or gazelle intensity, mainly comes
down to the car discussion. Is that what you're saying?
One hundred percent.
Okay.
All right.
Um, that's fair.
All right, so here's what I would do.
I would just sit and keep having the discussion.
Sell your car, Jake.
Yeah, that you can lead by selling yours.
Yep.
And not hers.
And I'm looking into that right now.
But tell her, but we are making this decision, not you.
Okay.
We are, I'm willing to get rid of mine so that we can advance.
And here's the thing.
The reason that people don't cut up a credit card,
the reason that people continue to go out to eat,
the reason that people go on vacation is they don't think they're going to win.
If you think you're going to win, you'll sacrifice to win.
But if you sacrifice and don't win, no one wants to do that.
That's psychotic.
Okay.
So selling your cars and then being broke for the next five years is not a good plan.
That's weird.
We're not asking to do that.
You're not asking to do that.
But right now, you're talking about selling the car instead of talking about the dream of what it's going to be like when we don't have a stinking payment except our mortgage.
and we can actually build some wealth and pay cash for whatever kind of car we want.
We're going to live like no one else so that we can live and give like no one else.
Talk about the second part.
The two of you dream together in high definition of what life is going to look like
when we finally get all this crap away from us and we're not normal anymore because normal sucks.
And Jake, as much as you can, I think it's sometimes helpful because it sounds like she's probably
more of the free spirit in the relationship.
You're probably more of the nerd.
would you say that's right?
Very much.
Okay.
So use your nerd advantage and honestly make some, make some scenarios.
I feel like that's always helpful when people feel like that there's just like, this is the only thing and like, and exactly what Dave was just saying, like sell the cars and then it's like, okay, well, what's after that?
Like, what are we doing?
There's something about having a scenario.
Scenario one, Jake sells his car.
We find an extra $800 a month in the budget, like whatever it is.
Like boom, boom, boom, boom.
we're out of debt in X amount of time, then we're going to be able to save X amount per month
to upgrade the car. And here's the reality, right? And then scenario number two, if we both sell
the car, scenario three, if we don't sell either car and we just pay it off, here's how long we'll
be in debt, like actually have some reality to it because sometimes just the idea can just
feel a little bit like nebulous or something. So if you can get some details down and you guys
look at a couple of different options and different plans of how to get there, how to get to this
goal of being debt-free, it feels more realistic to. Let me give you an example of what Rachel's
saying. Let's pretend you didn't have a car and you're calling me and saying, I want to take out
a car payment. And I say, well, the average car payment's $500. It's not anymore. It's a lot higher than
$7.226. Okay, so for 10 months, I want you to save $750. What is that? $7,500. Buy a $7,500
car for cash 10 months from now. 10 months later, you'll have $7,500 and a $7,500 car doesn't go down
much in value, so you can sell it for $7,500. Put that with the new $7,500. You've got a $15,000.
car. A scenario is that 20 months from now you are driving a $15,000 paid for a car
instead of being saddled with a stupid butt car payment of $750. That's a scenario. That shows
you a way out. Instead of like, drive a hoopty, that doesn't take me anywhere. I need something
more than that. So where are we going at this thing? That's what Rachel's saying, and that's the
way to handle it, Jake. And you're a good man, she's a good woman. This is going to work out for you
guys. It's going to be okay.
No matter what you want to do with your money. You need a budget. Start budgeting for
free today with the every dollar app. The easiest way to budget. Track your
and reach your goals faster go to every dollar dot com today welcome back to the ramsie show in
the fair wins credit union studio i'm d'amsy your host happy thanksgiving to you rachel cruise number one
best-selling author, host of the Rachel Cruz show.
Ramsey personality, my daughter is my co-host.
Thanksgiving around Ramsey, we're pretty much a cheese factory around here.
We like celebrating this stuff, and we like Christmas, and we like anything that makes
the kiddos smile, which makes Papa Dave smile, and makes the mom and daddy smile, and that's
what Turkey does.
So we are a thankful family.
We believe in gratitude.
We believe in generosity.
These are things that bring you great happiness.
So when you call in today, your ticket of entry is going to be what you are thankful for.
The phone numbers, AAA 825-2-2-2-25.
Mike is with us in Tampa, Florida.
Mike, what do you thankful for?
I'm thankful for my wife and the life we have here in Florida.
Awesome.
How can we help?
Yeah, Dave.
My wife and I have been using every dollar for the last 10 years.
We went through Financial Peace University, and we've been debt-free for five years.
I'm at retirement age now, and we have, we're a blended family with four adult kids,
and one of my adult children, a daughter, eloped with her now husband to Hawaii last year,
and just sent me a text and said that they're going to have a wedding, a destination wedding, in Spain this summer,
and traditionally is the parents' families' responsibilities to pay for that wedding or to contribute.
And my wife and I discussed it.
We don't agree with that.
They will have been married over two years by the time this event takes place.
And we don't feel obligated to support that.
Okay.
And just wanting to get your advice.
I like it.
I mean, it's your money.
So where did this entitlement that she's entitled?
titled for this come from?
I think she was raised that way by my ex.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Was there discussions?
There's some of that attitude.
Okay.
Was there any discussion, Mike, a year ago before they eloped that you guys were going to plan a
wedding and you were going to help with it?
And then they were like, you know what?
We don't, we just want to elope.
You know what I mean?
Like, was there ever discussions, any expectations that was set at any point that you
were going to help?
or is this just like come okay so that that was never even talked about
has another daughter gotten married and you paid for it and you said well whatever
we did for her we'll do for everyone nope no I didn't I didn't my other my oldest
daughter got married didn't ask for anything we went to the wedding oh wow yeah but
this is they they wanted to call us and even tell us they were married and we
went up as soon as we heard we bought airline tickets went to where they live we went
for the weekend to celebrate their wedding, took them out to dinner, spent the weekend with
them, and we felt like that that was the right thing to do.
Yeah, totally.
And now she's in Spain.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
So how long have you been divorced from her mom?
Oh, 20 years.
Okay.
And she's how old?
33.
Okay.
So she was 13.
Correct.
Okay.
And so a lot of times in that scenario, you end up rebuilding a relationship a decade after the divorce.
Does that sound right?
Right.
Huh?
Yeah, yeah.
She, we had a call last Sunday, and she pretty much unloaded that kind of stuff on me.
That goes back to when I remarried.
So, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay. So the reason I bring that up is the way you described, she didn't tell you she's married,
so we're going to go visit. That kind of felt like olive branch stuff from someone you're not real close to.
Yeah, I'm not, frankly, not close with any of my daughters. Okay.
For pretty much the same reason. Yeah, yeah, because divorce is nasty, yeah. And, yeah, yeah. Okay.
so then this request is not entitlement it's a guilt trip uh partially and partially i think
it is and i think she does have what i call the princess complex she she feels like she comes for
money and yeah um i mean she'd have to go find that source because you're apparently not it
no maybe you have it but that doesn't mean it's hers yeah yeah i'm um you know uh so here's the
think pick up a book by dr henry cloud called boundaries and you and your current wife read that
because you need to be prepared she does not respect boundaries and when you set boundaries with a
boundaryless person they seldom react positively in other words there's not any version of no she's
going to be okay with right and um and so i just want you to
be prepared for that because there's some heartbreak that goes with that so you mean you've been
trying to reach out you've been trying to reengage as her dad as an adult dad a dad of an adult
daughter and now she's coming in with this wild thing and it's going to harm whatever positive moves
you've made but that is also the proper still the proper thing to do but I just want you to know
it's not this is not going to be easy for you it's going to hurt
right because she's going to throw a fit and say i'm never going to speak to you again or something
like that well she's going to turn into the victim yeah yeah you've never been there for me
and you're not there for me now you know and this kind of bull crap right yes sir that's the exact
conversation we had last week yeah yeah so you've already told her you already told her no yes i i i
she she basically pushed it so i called her to ask her you know why why this place why they felt like
they needed to have another event after they were already married. It didn't make sense to me.
And they both went and got master MBAs. And I don't think financially that they should be spending
money on a destination. I think they've probably got some student debt. I don't know. I don't know
their finances, but I would assume that. And so yeah, I just don't think they're making wise
decisions and um and i actually shared that i thought maybe they could have made a different
decision they didn't like she didn't like my answer yeah i i there's no form of no but piling on
to their financial decisions it probably didn't help at all so um but the anyway i think i would
just keep it very clean and very simple and just say listen my love for you and my desire to have
a relationship with you guys going forward has nothing to do with money and it has nothing to do with how
handle your money and it has nothing to do with Spain, you know, but I'm not, I don't feel at this
stage the way our relationship is today, the way your life is built today, we don't feel good
about this and so we're not willing to pay for this. I'm so sorry. I know you probably don't
understand that and I'm prepared for you to not understand that. Yeah, and I almost would be,
I would caution putting it on a condition on her. I wonder if it's a, hey, we've talked and we've
decided we're choosing not to spend this money.
We're looking at the situation.
My hope is that, Mike, you know, that there is some reconciliation in the relationship,
but again, this is going to be a barrier to that, which is so sad, you know, what,
it was going so well until she started demanding that.
Right, right.
So, we, we like, we like the husband.
We, we offered to come and support the event.
We just, and we told her that, you know, we had put in our budget for all the travel
and all to go, but that we just couldn't afford to also contribute to pay for it.
I'm not going to pay for it.
I don't think you're wrong.
I don't think you're wrong at all.
I just want you to be prepared for the backlash.
I'm sorry.
Countdown to Christmas is on. Do you believe it?
A ton of great deals for Black Friday and Cyber Monday right now with us.
Special one-day sales.
And we're talking hardcover books, audio books, assessments.
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in the description if you want that might be the easiest way to get there thomas is with us in
austin texas thomas what are you thankful for hi my wife and kids cool how can we help
hey so i'm on babysat three i've been doing great falling off plan and recently i got approached
by a family member about some uh financial advising so we did a couple sessions but now they're
trying to tell me that my term life policy is not great and i should be getting disabilities
insurance and term 80 and it just all feels like more of a self-pitched than
financial advising and now as a family member I don't know how to think about it
am I crazy and I just don't know how to approach that okay so what you're telling me
is is that you smell stink yes sir okay then in the conversation absolutely
the sessions are great but I don't I don't care what they're selling even if what
they're selling is good, you always end the conversation around money when you smell
stink.
Because your smeller is better than anything out there.
Trust your instincts is what I'm saying.
Okay.
I don't know what this product is.
You haven't described it.
I don't even know what the family member does.
I don't know if they know what they were doing.
Maybe they were changing oil at Jiffy Loop three weeks ago.
Now they're a financial planner.
That happens fairly often.
Okay. I don't know any of that, but you smell stink, Thomas, and I trust your smell.
Just end it based on that. Just say, listen, thank you for the help so far. We love you. We're just going to remain good family members, and we're not going to move forward with any financial products with a family member at this time.
Have you already put your money with them, Thomas?
No, no, yeah.
Okay, okay.
Don't.
Yeah.
okay
so just stay with what I got
stay the course
don't argue about the products
don't argue about family
don't argue
no is a complete sentence
this is a very quick
calm kind
sentence
we've talked about it my wife and I
and we've decided not to move forward
with any financial products at this time
yeah and we just want to keep
our money and our family member separate and it just feels cleaner that way and thank you
thank you for what you're done for offering all this we appreciate it have a good night
bye-bye it's like a that's like a 15 or a 22nd thing here we're not getting into a day-long
debate about this okay okay so what i want to do is give you give the power back to you how
close is the family member thomas is it a sibling is it an aunt or uncle it's a cousin it's a cousin
Okay.
Cousin Eddie.
Yeah.
It's got stink on it.
So, listen, here's the thing.
How long has cousin been in the business?
Financial business.
A couple months.
I just graduated college this year.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
I think you're good.
Yeah.
So you're smelling the right smell.
Let me tell you about the business, okay, from the outside end, just to give you
some more power.
I don't want you to share any of this with cousin.
I just want you to have the knowledge base, okay, because it will give you some
strength. 80% of the people that start selling life insurance are out of the business in
12 months. Wow. Yeah. Here's what their life insurance business is based on. They hire your
cousin so he can work what's called his natural market. That's what they call it. His natural market
are people that he has influence with, not because of his financial ability, but because of his
relationships and so he calls his old friends from high school his fraternity brothers from college
he calls his wife's friend on the soccer field he calls all of his cousins and he sits down and
once he's run his run through that list he's out of prospects and he goes out of business because
they don't furnish him any new leads they use people to get to their relationships that's their
marketing model.
It's called working the natural market.
And that's why 80% of them, once they run through their natural list, they're out of the
business.
And that doesn't mean they're bad people, but your cousin is, quite frankly, being taken
advantage of.
You see what I'm saying?
So if you put your money with them, you're not going to be working with him in a year.
He won't be there anymore, 80% of the time.
So he couldn't get a better job.
this is the one he took, bless his heart.
Or he fell for a sales pitch of how much money he could make and all the things.
And all that bullcrap.
So please walk away.
And especially, and let me just give you this.
I'm like, he just graduated college a few months.
I'm like, he's just a kid.
So like genuinely, if he was like had been in the business for 30 years and he had a reputation.
Do you know what I mean though?
And I think it would be kind of a harder kind of slap in the face of like, dude, this is my job.
I've been doing this for 30 years.
And you know what I mean?
If it's your old uncle and he's good at it, it'd be kind of like, oh, sorry, that's awkward.
But he's like a 21-year-old who just started this.
So I'm like, yeah, you're good.
He's selling knives next week.
And we don't want to buy the knives either.
Thank you, Cutco.
No, Cutco is great knives.
Yeah, but guess who sells them?
Same exact model.
Which is great.
Same exact model.
You go sell your grandma, you go sell your aunt, some knives, and then you're out of the business.
And that's what you work in natural markets, the exact same pots and pans thing.
It's an old marketing distribution method.
And it's not a wrong.
It's not a, okay.
If you don't think the person's going to succeed once they finish working their list
and you're only hiring them to access their list, that is wrong.
Yes, that's ethically wrong.
Okay, that's fair.
That's fair.
Okay.
I think about the Girl Scouts, you know?
They go to the neighbors.
I don't know.
Well, the Girl Scouts are not making a career off of your money.
That's fair.
Okay, that's fair.
They're just making you fat with a thin mince.
That's fair.
We love the Girl Scouts.
We love you.
And so, yeah, that's it.
That's how the thing works.
Now, so there's a good rule of thumb.
What I'm trying to get you to do, everybody out here is trust your instincts.
Okay.
I just love the proverb that says the simple sees danger and moves forward and is harmed for it.
the wise senses danger and seeks refuge and becomes safe and so when we go against this smell test
every one of us have that moment or in the middle of doing something stupid with money
and you have the opportunity to not do it and you go I knew better I knew better
how many have you have done something dumb and you look back and you go right in the middle of it
I knew it but I just was caught up in the moment I was caught up and it was
a family member and I just felt guilty and I felt trapped and that, that, that, that, and
you, you knew, though, that it was bad. And Thomas, I'm just telling you, man, trust the
smell. And it doesn't mean your cousin's a bad dude. I'm not saying that. I'm not even sure these
products are bad. I think they probably are. I think it's probably a whole life bull crap, but,
but I'm not sure. I don't know who, what it is or what he's selling. Doesn't matter. The point is,
you don't need to be doing business with him. And because the hair stood up on the back of your
rattle snake in the bush that's what happens your your body has a physical reaction when
you sense danger and it's it's the lizard brain prompting you and going don't do it
smells bad skunk in the bush don't get over there you know it's a simple thing but we we we get
all all of us get all intellectual and sophisticated and rationalize our way past and want to be nice
that's and we want to be nice we want to pass you know and we just walk right past the stink
right into the scum.
Yep, yep.
There's a book,
The Gift of Fear,
and it's a guy
who used to do security,
but he wrote this whole book
and mostly towards women
about physical safety,
but how many stories.
It's like,
oh, I got a bad feeling,
but I still let them help me
unload my groceries to my door.
You know what I mean?
Like bad things out.
And it's like that whole,
I mean,
that's like his number one thing.
And don't,
don't be afraid that like,
you know,
you want to be a kind person,
but sometimes it's like,
you don't have to be nice.
It's okay.
It's real.
Better be not nice than dead.
Yes, the gut reaction is true.
So, Thomas, whether it's this or something else, trust your instincts.
It's God's spirit in you speaking up.
It's saying, don't do it.
Don't do it.
And, Thomas, you notice how quickly I took you there, Thomas.
I didn't even know what was going on.
I was depending on that smell test.
Well,
Music
Well, it's the season.
It's that time of year,
In a few weeks, we're going to be doing a special giving edition of the Ramsey show.
We want to hear stories from you about how generosity has impacted you.
Maybe you've been the giver or the receiver.
Maybe you've been in a, had an incredible story that will inspire others to give
by something that happened to you or through you.
We want to hear about it.
Go to Ramsey Solutions.com slash ask and put giving in the subject line.
We do this every year at Christmas time.
and it is one of our most popular shows.
It's going to be December the 18th.
So start sending in your stories now.
Ramsey Solutions.com slash ask, put giving in the storyline and in the subject line and tell us a little bit about the story.
And we'll get in touch with you and make you part of our annual giving show.
It's very inspiring.
John is in Los Angeles.
Hey, John, how are you?
I'm doing well, Dave.
Pleasure to talk to you today.
You too.
How can we help?
So quick question.
for you. A little advice. I have a feeling I know what you're going to say, but I just need
confirmation, I guess. Um, so, uh, father of six, been married for 15 years, um, income around
just north of 200. We have zero consumer debt. I have a outstanding mortgage balance
of about 220 with a mortgage rate of about 2.875. Um, I've come into a sum of money, which
about 200 and so what I want to do what I think I know I should do is just
pay out of the house and move on with my life but that's easier setting down
you're sitting in the driver's seat and you got that interest rate okay there's
several there's several layers to the answer okay I'll give you a couple of the
A couple of the lenses through which you can look at this that reinforced the answer.
Number one, we did the largest study of millionaires ever done in North America, Ramsey Research Team, 10,167 of them.
The number of them, out of 10,000 millionaires, 89% of them were first-generation rich, meaning they were not inherited money.
nine out of ten of America's millioners are first generation rich okay then we start asking okay
how'd you get there what technique did you use where'd your money come from did you win the lottery
the number of them that said I had a good interest rate on my mortgage so I didn't pay it off
and I invested the difference and that's that made me a millionaire the number of them that said
that is precisely zero yeah so this idea that you
used borrowed money on your house to become wealthy is mythology it's not true it doesn't
happen in the real world so your theory is bull crap is what I'm saying it's not your
theory it's a theory that floats all through our culture yeah but you can just
understand how I can understand it but I'm telling you what I understand how you got
there but I'm telling you what the data says okay so that's one way of looking at
the second way of looking at is through a spiritual lens the borrower is
is slave to the lender.
And people react to their careers differently
and their generosity differently
when they don't have a house payment.
Yeah.
Regardless of the interest rate.
And so they tend to maximize their careers
because they're not trapped.
Yeah.
And they don't feel like they have to put up
with some unethical or inefficient or crummy job
because I got this stupid house payment
even though the interest rate's great.
And, John, out of all the people we've talked to
throughout the years, whether it's at events
on the show,
and people that have paid off their house
and we ask them, do you regret it?
Do you hate having a paid off house?
Precisely zero.
Nobody regrets it.
And even if you do regret it, you can go pull out a mortgage again.
If you want to Google Dave Ramsey,
sucks, you'll see a lot of reasons that I suck.
Oh, yeah.
But never, never one time will you see that Dave told me to pay off my house and I hate him.
There's not one.
They'll tell you I suck for a lot of other reasons that I'm awful.
Yeah, no, I don't think you said.
I know, but I'm just saying.
It's just weird.
Of all the trolling and all the critics we get, they're all people that haven't paid off their houses.
But we don't get people that paid off their house because I told them to that are mad at me.
None, zero, nada.
So do it.
Pay it off.
and enjoy your great life, dude.
And if you hate being debt-free,
go get you a new mortgage later.
You know, you can always go back in debt.
I promise you they'll put your butt there if you want to be there.
Tyler is in Atlanta.
Hey, Tyler, what's up?
Hey, Dave, how are you?
Better than I deserve.
What are you thankful for today?
Just another grateful day on earth.
That's all you can wish for.
Amen.
How can we help?
So, me and my wife,
we got married in May, we were actually, we got married at the courthouse, but we're having a
wedding in March of next year. So not a lot of people know that we're married, and we live in
Atlanta now, and we're going to move back home down south. We have a couple thousand saved
up in the bank. My wife wants to buy a house immediately when we move, but I want to live with
my parents or her parents for a couple months and save up even more for a bigger down
payment so we don't have more of a payment on a house and be able to save for
how old are you guys uh i am 24 she is 26 and what's your household income sir uh 8 grand a month
okay there's nothing evil about any of the choices that you put in front of me uh there's only
things that are smarter one thing smarter than another thing that's the only question
question okay so in other words if you do any of these things you're probably not going to
ruin your life you follow me so if you move into your parents probably not going to kill
you for a little while if you go buy house probably not going to kill you my answer is I
wouldn't do either one of those things I go rent a one-bedroom apartment for a year
as cheap as I possibly could over the garage of a rich old lady's house and mow her
grass for half the rent and pile up as much cash as you can pile and don't be living
with your mommy.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And I'll pile up as much cash as I can pile up and learn the neighborhood and learn
the area because it takes a year of being married to know how far from your mother-in-law
you should buy.
Oof, yeah.
They're great people, so.
I'm talking about your wife.
Yeah.
Be newlyweds and not go share a kitchen with your parents.
You make $8,000 a month.
You're killing it.
Yeah, just go.
Y'all go rent somewhere for a year.
And you're going to a small town, I got a feeling.
Yeah, yeah.
And we're in Atlanta more paying two grand a mark.
Whose town is it, yours or hers?
It's actually both of ours.
Oh.
We both grew up there.
Both of our parents are there.
Okay.
So you know the town.
So you know the town.
Are you, Tyler, are you guys debt?
free consumer debt-wise or y'all have payments um so we have a little bit of debt uh probably
all together it's probably 10 grand but we have 70 in the savings 70,000 yes 70,000 savings
okay well um okay we are six grand is for our honeymoon and then we have some other
yeah pay that pay that off tonight honey okay it's not it's not a pet
Get rid of it.
Absolutely.
Yeah, it's not, it's nothing to case.
Yeah, and then you guys figure out, you know, your emergency fund, which is going to be part of the 70,
and then beyond that, what you want to save in a year for a down payment, because you guys are getting to get close.
And with a small town, hopefully housing prices, you know, it's not like the Bay Area,
so hopefully you can get into something.
And y'all would be great.
Yeah, and I can modify it a little bit since I found out both of you are from there,
and it's a small geographical area.
You already know the town.
so I don't have to give you a whole year, but at least six months.
Just go rent something for six months.
Get settled in, become married people.
Everybody knows you're married.
It's a March thing happens, all that stuff.
And then you start looking for a house.
And by then, you can have saved up a little bit more money.
And that's quick.
That time is fast.
You guys are going to be fine.
It's a marathon.
It's not a sprint.
You're doing good.
I'm going to be
you know.
I'm going to
I'm going to
I'm
Thank you.
Sylvia is in Seattle.
Hey, Sylvia, what are you thankful for?
Well, Dave, this is a hard Thanksgiving.
My sister died a few months ago.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
So the holidays are difficult to say, at least,
but I do have things to be thankful for,
and so I'm trying, she would want me to live
and not to, you know, just survive.
So that's what I'm trying to do.
And so thank you for asking.
That's a healthy outlook.
So, yeah, people need to realize.
I'm a registered nurse, and so people need to understand how important your health is.
Dave, real quick, I'm a registered nurse.
I'm 66.
I retire in June 40 years, emergency and pandemic and such.
I was raised.
I'm the youngest of seven Army brat and was raised by parents.
and the depression telling us to pay yourself first, know the difference between wants and needs
and to save.
And so that's what I've been doing.
Currently, I have a home.
I just bought a year ago after losing one in the recession in 2008.
It took me a while to build back up, but I bought a year ago.
That's my only debt.
That mortgage is $3,400 a month.
I have an emergency fund of about $130,000.
I have investments of about $1.2 million.
I'm getting, I'll get $3,500 in Social Security and $2,000 in a pension.
My question to you, which is different from most, is my whole life, my father's voice is in my ear to save, save.
My financial counselor now tells me, Enid, it's time to.
to rent or to start spending.
So I don't know how because in my head, it's like, keep saving, keep saving.
And so I wondered if you could help me or give me some advice
as how I flip that switch and start to live.
Cool.
My sister would want me.
One detail.
What is the balance on your mortgage?
500.
Ooh. Okay. All right. To your question, then, there are only three things that we can do with money.
We can save it and invest it, which you have done with Glory. You're a millionaire. Way to go. Congratulations.
By the way, what's the home worth?
About 850.
Okay. All right. So you're worth about $1.5 million.
is your net worth, okay?
And the,
so that's absolutely incredible.
You're a millionaire nurse at 66 years old,
and you're obviously with the language you're using single,
were you ever married?
I was part of that whole early on in my 40s.
We got divorced,
and he had debt, and I had to pay off.
So, you know, it's taking a lot of.
So that also left a mark, yeah.
Okay.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
So, again, there's three things that we can do.
So Rachel and I wrote a book years ago was her first number one bestseller called Smart Money, Smart Kids, on teaching children how to handle money.
And we taught children that there are three things that they can do with money.
And parents' job is to teach them to do all three things, to give, to save, and to spend wisely.
okay, and to teach them to work, which is where money comes from, to do all three of those things, okay?
So that's the lessons we teach kids.
As adults, there's only three things we can do with money.
We can give it.
We can save it, and we can enjoy it, or spend it, which is what your counselor is saying.
Now, we don't want to ever do just one because it's not a well-rounded life, and that's what your counselor's saying.
You've become an expert saver.
Your savings muscle is really big.
You have big muscles on the savings side.
Your spending muscle is puny.
Your giving muscle is probably underdeveloped.
Am I right?
Not accusing you of being greedy.
I'm just saying you don't give a lot of money.
I, you know, give to my church.
I have done, I don't have children, and my will, I finished my will.
I'm talking about your monthly giving in your budget.
Yeah, so it's other than to my church and what have you, yeah.
Yeah, and that's 50 bucks or 100 bucks or something, yeah.
Right.
Yeah, okay.
That's what I'm saying.
So, and you're a millionaire, almost a multimillionaire.
So I want you to increase your giving.
I don't care to what
and I want you to increase your spending
now I don't want you to be irresponsible
if your 1.2 million is invested in mutual funds
it should be producing about $10,000 a month in income
you don't need that much income
yeah how much income do you
you're going to have 3,500 already coming in
in 2000 with a pension
and so you're going to be a $5,500 coming in
can you live on that comfortably?
I'm living on that now, so, you know.
All right, good.
I mean, do you want to live on that, or do you want to spend more than that?
I mean, both my sisters, you know, as I told you recently passed,
we're going to do some things once I retired.
They already had.
Now they're gone.
You know, I guess I'll, you know, I don't know what I'm, I've got to start thinking
about what I'm going to do when I retire as in hers.
travel you know I don't I right I don't want to travel by myself but yes I can try I can travel
um yeah I got to start thinking about this stuff and yes I will be giving away my money my
no I don't mean I'm not saying all I'm saying is is that I want you instead of giving a hundred bucks
away a month I want you give away a thousand a month yeah and uh and and and and just find somebody
that needs some groceries you know right and just because there's great joy
in that. And then I want you to look up and I want you to say, I'm making $10,000 a month on my
investments above what I need to live. What does that look like on spending? What are we going to
spend that? Some of that on. I don't want you to spend it all. But here's the point. If you spend
$15,000 a month for the rest of your life, including your pension income and your investment income,
you will die with $1.2 million.
You're okay.
You did it.
Yeah.
Okay?
And if you get that math in your head, then it gives you permission not to be crazy.
I don't want you to go spend $300,000 on a car.
That's not what I'm saying.
Okay.
But I am saying $15,000 a month is way more than you ever thought about spending it.
That blows your mind just saying that, doesn't it?
Yes, I can't imagine.
Yeah, and I don't think you're going to do that.
You're the chances of you overspending are zero.
Now, what about this mortgage?
Yeah, I'm worried about this mortgage.
I want this mortgage to go away.
That becomes a second part of the goal is we need to clear this debt
because it's the most destabilizing thing in your life right now.
It's a big mortgage.
And I don't really feel good about taking $500,000 out of your $1.2,000.
paying it off today but I'm going to start working out of that 15,000 a month
and work that mortgage down too okay because I'd like you to have no mortgage
and and and and so increase I want you to build up your generosity muscle and your
spending muscle up to and your debt reduction muscle those three things up to 15,000 a
month once you start drawing down on the 1.2 so you sit down with your financial
advisor and you start drawing the income off of the 1.2 to go with your pension and go with
your other stuff and you throw it in a checking account. Any part of you would just take like
200 of it and just kind of make a dent? I'd like to get the mortgage down ways and then just
knock it off. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to make a front end dent. I'd make a back end. Probably.
I just, she's, yeah, we've first got to get her enjoying the money a little bit. Yes.
It's time for sure. So I think you've got a good person in your corner, whoever that is,
counseling you. I like their advice. Good question, Sylvia, the chances of you overspending
are almost zero. No chance we could get you in Congress.
No matter what you want to do with your money, you need a budget. Start budgeting for free today.
With the Every Dollar app, the easiest way to budget, track your expenses and reach your goals faster.
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Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fair Winds Credit Union Studios.
It's Thanksgiving Eve here at Ramsey.
So we are asking you what you're thankful for.
And there's always something to be thankful for and stopping.
And as the old saying says, count your blessings is not a bad idea.
By the way, it's your entry to the show today.
If you want to get on, we're going to ask you what you're thankful for.
That's how it works.
Open phones at AAA 825-5-225.
Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality, number one bestselling author.
My daughter is my co-host today.
Noah is with us in Cincinnati.
Hi, Noah.
What are you thankful for?
Oh, gosh, too much.
My family and friends and everything in between.
How are you guys?
Better than we deserve, sir.
How can we help today?
Well, I have been wondering for, gosh, a year or two now if I should buy a new car.
my wife has a nice car it's probably worth about 20 grand it's kind of a family car um i drive a van
for work and i drive um when i need to i have about a two thousand dollar car and there's
nothing wrong with it and i drive it all the time and i guess i'm i've just i haven't bought a new
car because it feels kind of frivolous because i don't need it and i've been looking at them for
for so long and I just am not sure if I should do it.
How much money do you have, Noah?
Well, I know what you're going to say.
You're going to laugh at me.
I've got probably about $540,000 between investments and in a brokerage account.
Okay.
Why would I laugh at you?
That's great.
Well done.
Yeah, I just, I guess because I'm just so hung up on buying a car.
Oh, so we're going to say you have enough money.
Do you have any debt?
Yeah.
No, just a house.
Okay, what are you all in your house?
About $200.
Okay.
All right.
I'd buy a $10,000 car and pay off your house.
I thought you might say that.
How about a $30,000 car?
I don't care.
You got the money.
Okay.
I don't know why you want to go from a 300 to 30,000, but if you want to, I don't care.
Yeah.
And what's your household income, sir?
About 175.
Okay.
And so the two cars together would be about 50, and that's way less than half your annual income.
And, yeah, there's nothing wrong with that.
That fits.
Pay cash for it and pay off your house.
And so, yeah, you're not doing anything wrong, but I would move up in car just from a reliability standpoint.
And, you know, it's just they don't make them like they used to.
Thank God.
New cars are, and the newer models are a lot nicer.
I mean, I've got a 1960 Corvette rebuilt and, you know, and I've got a fairly new Corvette.
And the new one's a lot better, you know, so, yeah, I'd move up a little bit, you know.
And the other one's kind of a cool antique, I mean, but it's not, you know, it's, yeah.
The other one's a better ride.
You'll, yeah.
Enjoy it, Noah.
Yeah, enjoy it.
You're doing a good job.
Have some fun this holiday season.
But it's just, you know, we're going to give you permission to have lived like no one
else so that somehow making $1,000, what was $175,000 a year, you amassed 550,000.
Now, let's do something smart with it.
Now, if you said $5 million, I probably would have left, but I won't laugh.
Half a million, Noah.
That's not the laugh level.
The laugh level has seven figures.
But you can afford it, Noah, so do it.
Enjoy.
I've worked hard.
You've done it.
You've done a great job.
Saul's in Boston.
Hey, Saul, what's up?
Hi there.
I'm very good.
I'm so excited to be in the phone with you guys.
You too.
What's up?
Oh, by the way, what are you thankful for?
Oh, I'm thankful for my friends.
Yeah.
I have a great group of friends that I'm super thankful for.
Oh, I love that.
Very good.
How can we help today?
Yeah, so my husband is 25.
I'm 26 years old, no children.
Our household income is $110,000 a year.
We are currently living on my income and saving his income,
which is $4,000 a month.
Next year we're planning to start a long journey of savings
to buy our first home cash.
We made our minds that we don't want to owe a penny to anyone
ever. And our goal is to save $500,000. We live in Massachusetts, so the real estate here is very
expensive. We concluded that we will achieve that in the max of seven years. As long as I leave
my current job, I have a master's degree, and I'm currently working with a career coach to
get a higher salary. Additionally, while saving for the house, we're thinking of maxing out both
of our rough IRAs every year so that we don't fall behind in our retirement goals and then
save more aggressively afterwards.
But the reason why I'm calling is one of the biggest arguments in this journey is a house
that is worth $500,000 now could very much be worth like $900,000 in seven years.
So I just would love to hear your expertise and perspective on that.
And do you have any recommendations on how to invest those savings so that they can
grow between now and then.
Okay.
Well, the savings, if you're going to leave it alone three years or more, we would move a bunch
of it towards something like an index fund into a good mutual fund, like an S&P 500, so that
it's growing a lot faster than a high-yield savings account.
But if it's three years or under, and a portion of it, either way, I'm going to leave
in high-yield savings so that you're earning some.
But really the interest rate or the return on your money is not going to get you the house.
It's your savings rate, the amount you put in that gets you the house.
So if you make 3% or you make 10%, it's not going to be that big a difference in a short period of time, like 3 to 5 years before you get a house.
The second thing is that life never works on a straight line.
And what you've done is you have taken the current life that you have, the snapshot of today,
freeze frame and you projected that out and life doesn't work that way okay 100% of the time
five years from today your income is going to be different than it is today usually it's going
to be more yeah okay and we don't know what exactly but typically on a career track like you guys
are on at your age your career your income is going to hockey stick it's going to go on a curve
upward and that's going to impact the five to seven year and probably turn it into a three
to a four year and that changes the discussion on how much houses will have gone up in value
I don't borrow money for anything ever so it doesn't matter to me what they go up I simply
cannot buy until I have the money now with one thing on this show that we there's only one
thing on this show that we that I don't do personally that I tell other people they can do
and that's take out a small mortgage on a 15 year fixed and pay it off as soon as possible.
I won't do that, but I don't yell at you for that one thing.
I don't borrow on anything else and I will yell at you for borrowing on other things
because it's dumb.
Okay?
But if you, if you saved up half of this money and you bought in two years, that would truncate
even more of the weight and the increase in value during that time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think it's a good plan sold, but I would be, yes, I would still be investing 15%,
even if that's more than maxing out the Roths during this plan.
I would be saving in retirement.
Yeah.
I think you got too long.
If you're going to be more than three years, you need to be maxing.
You need to be putting your 15% baby step four aside.
our question of the day is brought to you by why refi defaulted private student loans don't define you and they don't have control of your future why refi helps you start fresh with low fixed rate refinancing made for real people go to why
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not in all states.
Today's question comes from Vince in North Dakota.
I have followed your principles for years
and do not believe in debt personally or in business.
My career has been doing HVAC and plumbing for an employer
who has always pushed financing.
I recently opened my own business
and I don't want to add to the slavery of debt,
but I also don't want to lose out on jobs
because I refuse to play that game.
We charge a fair rates,
but I know that I'm running the numbers myself
and I see how expensive it is to grow a real business.
How do I compete in this industry without resorting
to pushing debt on my customers?
There's plenty of heat in there guys that run huge businesses
without being pushing debt.
Some of them just to let their, you know,
the financing, the customer get their own financing.
A lot of people put it on a credit card.
or they run over at the bank and borrow the money.
But the heat and air company doesn't have to furnish the financing to be successful.
You know, now, if you're going to work a, you know, a lower end market, you're probably going to
struggle because the people you're competing against there are probably signing up the thing.
And, you know, for instance, on the car lot, okay?
The car dealers today on new cars make more money profit per car.
on the financing package than they do on the sale of the car.
And that could be true of some heat and air companies that are pushing financing hard,
that they're selling the paper or they're getting paid a kick from the finance company
for pushing the paper.
And they're making as much on that as they are on the actual heat and air unit.
But that's not normal in the industry.
you know your father-in-law is in the heat and air business yeah and your brother-in-law with him and they
don't they don't push financing and they make a really good living and we know a bunch of other
people in the business over the years and so but I do know some people that are quote more retail
and um you can kind of tell by their advertising when you hear their ads or you see their ads
you kind of can tell oh they're going to want me to finance this because they're going to charge a lot you
And so, you know, I think you provide a fair rate.
Some customers are going to finance, and I wouldn't not do business with them because they chose to go pay for it the way they wanted to pay for it.
That's not your obligation.
Yeah, yeah.
But in terms of, you know, you're in the heat and air business.
You're not in the banking business.
As long as you stay there, you're going to be okay.
And know that the product you're selling is expensive.
I mean, like that's one of the biggest expenses.
So you can't be shocked if people don't have the cash.
cash because 40% of Americans can't even cover a $400 emergency.
So you are in an industry that's expensive.
So it's, yeah, you shouldn't be shocked if a lot of people use it, you know.
I think the difference is where you get the icky factor in the heat and air world
is where they think they're in the banking business, where they're peddling it hard.
And your old employer was one of those.
Yeah, that's where you get the ick factor, okay?
So if it's somewhere around your business or in your business.
So for instance, I talked to a guy the other day.
he owns two pizza locations he makes pizzas restaurants and he said am i doing something wrong
by taking credit cards for the pizza and i'm like good lord no you know you're it's not now would
dave rant would ramsie solutions be doing something wrong to take credit cards yeah because we're
telling people actively like our brand is telling people not to have a credit card okay so if
you came into our bookstore and used a credit card and we let you do that that would be hypocritical
on our part because it's straight up unethical based on our advice.
It's hypocritical.
But now when you're in the pizza business, I'm in the get out of debt business.
I'm not the pizza.
You're in the pizza business.
If you take credit cards at your pizza restaurant, it's the same machine you use a debit
card on.
And so either way, you're going to be paying your merchant fees on both of them.
It lowers your profits.
It would be weird if you were a diet company, but then you were selling ice cream as
they're walking out the door.
That feels hypocritical, right?
I mean, like, you know, so I mean, it's, but that's not your industry.
So, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, if you have a health food store and, you know, but you sell snickers, you know, I mean, that's a problem, you know, I mean, but that's the thing you're looking for on the ethics side of things.
So I would have it available or have a local, you know, hey, the bank, this credit union over here finances for some people and you can call George over there and Henry over there, they'll do it.
And, you know, I'd have that available if I were you, but I wouldn't be peddling it.
that's the difference you know i'd say this is how some people do it they put it on a credit
card some people do this some people i fix it and just get it to where it limps along so they
can save up the money and then i come back next year and put in the new unit um and sometimes we do
that with people and those people are going to remember you as the person who helped them with
their heating and air not who got them into debt and so that that's you know you're fine i think
you know just just remember what business you're in that's what screws
up. I mean, like, Victoria's Secret forgot they were in the small underwear business.
You know, they make more money on their credit card lines than they do on the small underwear,
okay? And so the girls that work in Victoria's Secret, if you don't sell a certain number
of credit cards per shift, regardless of how much small underwear you sell, you don't get to
keep your job because they got in the credit card business. It used to be like that. I don't know how it is now.
Well, I mean. But that used to be a big. That was a big deal. Yes. And so there's all these companies that
confused seers got in that business and then they went bankrupt yeah pennies got in that business
and then they went bankrupt and so you just see the stuff they get confused about what business they're
in be in the business you're in and if there's financing around it so what unless you're teaching
people like we are not to go into that and then that would be the you know the diet place selling ice cream
as rachel said that's true all right up next is going to be dave in san antonio hey dave what's up
Hey, how are you?
Better than I deserve.
How can I help?
Well, I am currently living in South Texas.
My family and I have a wife, three, two, well, I was two, now three kids looking after my nephew.
We would like to move to Nashville, and I want to do that as soon as financially feasible.
I have two jobs at the moment.
I was active duty in Marine Corps for 14 years.
I still do that as a reservist
that do you want net
or gross figures typically
a month?
Gross.
Gross.
The military is grossing me
about where to go.
Sorry, get back to me in a second.
It's around a five grand or so.
And then I also fly for an airline
which would make it very convenient for me
to be your neighbor in Franklin.
That's grossing me.
about just under 21 a month.
Oh, I'm sorry, there it is.
They're military, about 4,400, and airline about 21,000.
Okay.
So why do you need to, what are you waiting on to move if you want to move?
Well, unfortunately, the military thing that I do down in South Texas is very convenient
because I do that.
Oh, I thought it was military retirement.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
No,
no,
no.
It's actually a side hustle.
Okay,
so you go from $25,000 to $21,000 income if you moved without the military thing.
Yeah, roughly.
But it also makes the 20-year retirement for the military a lot harder to get because, you know,
a full schedule for me flying for the airline is working about 12 days a month,
which is great.
I have great flexibility.
I can pick up extra.
I also have to fly on base about five days a month.
Now, that's easy.
Take the kids to school, go fly on base, and then I'm done by like two.
So that part's simple.
If I were in Nashville, that's two legs on a plane.
So why would you want to move to Nashville?
South Texas is not a place we want to be for the next 30 years.
We're in early 40s, and we'd like to...
How much longer do you have to do the military?
gig two and a half years do that and then move that's kind of we're thinking uh and a bigger
question that i've heard you have different had opinions on as far as building or buying up in
the tennessee within i'd probably just buy you got enough going on without getting in the building
business building a house is a lot of work for the consumer
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It's the eve of Thanksgiving.
What are you thankful for, Jenny in Savannah?
Yes, hi.
Yay, so I did to connect with y'all.
You too?
What are you thankful for today?
Yes, very thankful for my family, my two daughters, and my help.
Cool.
Good for you.
A lot more.
How can we help?
Okay, so I am 54 years old.
I have $75,000 in legal fees, about $12,000 in credit card.
debt. I have two car payments that total about $28,000. And I make $86,000, about $86,000 a year.
I'm paying rent for $2,300 a month. The reason why I'm in such horrible financial is because I went
through a divorce in 2016, and my ex-husband is an attorney. And so, like, every time I wanted
to try to get child support, I had to go back to court. So it's been going on for 10 years.
Um, so my question is, um, how old are the kids now?
Sure.
Okay.
So I have, um, one's a senior in high school and then the other one's a junior in high
school.
Um, so my question is, um, I have them on scholarship that helped me, you know, pay off all my
debt, but that would put my kids about 30 minutes away from their school and it's kind of a
rural, it's a very rural town where he lives.
And, um, so I'm wondering, you know, should I stick it out for another year for, until, you know,
my younger one finishes high school and then move in or should I just try to move in now
just because it's my rent is really high.
It's $2,300 a month.
Yeah, for Savannah, Georgia, that's really high.
Yeah, yeah.
So, okay.
So you're kind of looking at your numbers.
You don't have a lot of margins, so you're kind of spinning your wheels right now
making huge progress because of all these different.
You high rent, you've got all these debts.
looming over you and so forth.
What are the boys' plans as they come out of school?
Yeah, two daughters.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I don't know why I thought they were sons.
I apologize.
No, that's okay.
No.
So, okay, so I have my oldest daughter just got into, well, she wants to go to Northwestern.
She applied early decision for Northwestern, but she got into University of Georgia
and the honors program because she would qualify for the Zelle Miller Scholarship
and the Hope Scholarship would be practically free.
the younger one, you know, they both definitely are set on college,
but the in-state tuition for Georgia is absolutely amazing.
But my ex-husband is, he lives in Chicago, and he's, you know,
just kind of a bug in their ear, and I'm going to be responsible for half of their tuition.
No, we're not going to Northwestern.
You don't have the money to send a kid to Northwestern.
Mm-hmm.
Sorry.
Yeah, I agree.
I've been trying to talk.
I don't have to talk her out of it.
The answer is no.
Mm-hmm.
I'm a broke single mom.
If your freaking father wants to pay for this, we'll talk about it.
Mm-hmm.
But he ain't paying for nothing.
No.
And so you're going to Georgia, kid.
Now, you can couch that a little nicer if you want, but that's the bottom-line message.
Go dogs.
Uh-huh.
They're playing football.
I mean, it's life's good.
As a ball fan, but that's what I want for her, which hurts my heart a little.
but yeah yeah in state tuition i mean i'll never forget rachel having two people come off the
stage and there were two hundred thousand dollars both of them in debt getting married and saying
they wanted to be missionaries at northwestern you were speaking it's not the well-known northwestern it was
one outside of minneapolis oh excuse me okay i just said northwestern but it was still they both
come off the stage making 200 grand getting married they got 400 grand in debt and sociology
and they want to be missionaries so no she's
not going to some Northwestern.
She can't afford it.
Yeah.
Her mother's broke.
Well, she says, I don't care.
I'll take out all the way.
No, I care.
I am not, I am not participating in this.
I'm your mother.
Yeah.
This is your destruction.
No.
Yeah.
This is a thousand percent agree.
It's 100% stupid.
Not even 99.
It's 100% stupid.
Yeah.
Okay.
So should Jenny move back home?
Yeah.
No.
I mean, you know, whether you move now or when do you want to start making
progress and um well i'm up every night about like just sweating over all the the debt a half
and um you know i've been working three jobs i'm unsure what are the car loans jenny who's are they
you said we had two different ones yeah so those are two those are both ours like we have three
drivers and we had one car and then i i was whatever you said earlier about the the car lane i went
in there with five thousand dollars and somehow got sucked into financing it so um i have to yeah we have
What are the two car loans?
Break them down.
There's an $18,000 for a Hyundai, Kona, which is probably worth way less than that.
And then there's a, there's about a, let's see, I think it's about $10,000 for a Hyundai, Sanefay that's got $125,000 miles on it.
And that's, that's the one you got nailed on to the kids.
Is one of them the girls?
Yeah, the second one is the girls.
Is dad helping at all?
No.
No, I don't get any child support.
I don't get anything.
He got the marital home.
He's an attorney, so he really knew what he is doing.
He would just file for those walks.
So here's the thing.
It scares me that you did a bad car deal for your daughter,
that you're going to do a bad college deal for your daughter.
So please remember the car deal.
When you couldn't look at her and say no,
right this time you've got to say no you're going to bankrupt your kid she's going to spend the next
15 years of her life pissed off at you because you don't stand your ground and not let her go
to a college she cannot afford and george is a great school georgia's fabulous great and georgia
tech too because she's applauded there as well these are both these are both world-class academic
institutions i don't care if they're in state tuition or not they really are they're incredible
I would hire her to work at Ramsey in a heartbeat more graduating from their debt-free
than graduating from Northwestern with $200,000 because she's stupid.
I don't want to hire that.
As an employer, I'm serious.
We look at somebody and go, she's not stupid, she's making stupid decisions.
That's just dumb, okay, don't do it.
I don't want to leave this call unclear.
Okay, so now, then this, yeah, if you want to go ahead and move to dad,
The deal is you just got to drive 30 minutes.
Is that right?
Yeah, it'll be 30 minutes, and so they'll be sad that they're not near, like, I'm like, yeah,
but it's saving me $2,300 a month, and he's getting older, and he really is like asking.
You could probably help him.
I mean, 90 years old.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, we've done.
I, I'm sorry that these children have hard times, that they have to go to an in-state school
and drive 30 minutes to school, but there's.
mother is a single mom who's deeply in debt because of a nasty divorce.
And such is life.
Yeah.
They will survive these 1% problems.
Exactly.
Seriously.
Okay.
And Jenny, and it's probably a level of guilt on your end as a mom.
Yeah.
Because of the divorce and everything that you're trying to provide a great life for them.
Right.
Your motivation is totally understandable, totally understandable.
But you can't let the guilt over.
override really bad financial decisions.
When emotions get caught up, that's what we find.
When people are fearful, guilt, shame, all of it, they end up making bad financial decisions.
So don't let a level of mom guilt of what they've gone through with the divorce continue.
What you think in the moment is a good decision for them because it makes them happy ends up being a bad decision long term for them.
And so, and for you.
How far do you drive to work?
It's about 20 minutes.
25 minutes
Yeah
It's the same difference
Kind of like 30 minutes
Yeah
Like you drive that far to work
They can drive that far to school
Wham
Seriously
You're gonna have to do some smart things
For your family honey
Even if it's short term
It creates a little drama or pain
I love you
I appreciate you
You're stronger than you think you are
Hold the ground girl
Thank you.
Our scripture of the day is Proverbs 1921.
Many plans are in a man's heart, but the counsel of the Lord will stand.
Thomas Edison said, just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless.
Woo.
There's interesting.
Okay.
So let's go back for a second.
Rachel, when we were doing the documentary several years ago called Borrowed Future, which, by the way, you can still watch.
It's award-winning on YouTube.
It's free.
And it's fabulous on the student loan crisis.
And one of the things that you said when we were putting all of that together,
you and I were taking one of those calls on the air,
was that we don't have a student loan crisis.
We have a parenting crisis.
You remember that?
Yes.
We'd say that in live events.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, it's.
And we always kind of, you know,
3,000 people in the audience, they kind of go, ooh, when you say that, right? It's like a slap.
Well, it is because I think there is a level of wisdom as parents that there are certain things
you see that are going to harm your kids. And when they're 18, their frontal part of their brain
isn't even formed of how to make cause and effect decisions, right? And so you have to be able to
step in on really big things in your kids' lives to be able to speak the truth. And I think
sometimes you draw a line in the sand and it's black and white. And it feels harsh at times.
And what you have to realize is you are loving your kids even when it's a hard decision. And
even when there's emotion and they may get mad, they may get frustrated. But what you have to
remember is they're 18. They don't understand. They don't understand the life that
you have lived. They don't understand what they're about to do is about to put them financially
in a hardship for years and years and years where a lot of people regret it. So many people
that come out with high student loan debt and they're just, you know, got their MBA and they're just
trying to find a job. And they look back and they realize, oh my gosh, I don't even know if the
ROI was right on this, right? So whether it is a master's or advanced degree or even an undergrad
a degree at a school that is a private university that you could literally get a fourth,
you could pay a fourth of what you got for the exact same degree somewhere else.
An eighth.
Yeah.
So it's just, it's a conversation about not only the future of them, but also just make
smart financial decisions now, the ROI on what it is.
And so, yeah, college is one of those.
So you can choose as a parent to build your influence through.
throughout your child's life so that you can persuasively lead them away from a college choice
that causes student loan debt, little on you participating by a parent plus loan. And if that won't
and then you don't participate, you don't borrow money. We're borrowing money is off the table
and we're going to go to a school we can pay cash for and we're going to go to a school that
gives us a return on investment for the education. Okay. In other words,
Is the extra cost worth it in a sense that you make more or have a higher probability of success due to that?
That's the return on investment.
It's not, I've always dreamed, and my daddy wanted me to, and it's a pretty town, and oh, my God, the stupid stuff I have heard here on the air on college choice.
The number one reason for student loan debt is choosing to go to a school that you can't afford.
It's not choosing an education.
It's choosing a school that you can't afford.
So we just had this example.
This young lady is an honor student.
She can go to Georgia, the University of Georgia, fabulous Southeast school, business school is strong.
She can go there and go for free with the Georgia scholarships that are available and with the fact that she's stinking honor student and walking in there.
They're going to, you know, and she can go virtually free to, you know, and she can go virtually free to,
you know one of the top schools in the nation or she can go to a name brand school that's
more expensive that's yeah yeah okay now let me tell you how what the data says there's zero
credible research that says where you went to school causes your success zero none none you
cannot find any data that says Vanderbilt and Harvard over Georgia. Northwestern over Georgia
causes success. No data. There's no one has ever been able to do it. Find a credible
study on that. It doesn't exist. It's bull crap in the marketing and in the aristocratic
sticking my nose in the air so my upper lip gets sunburned about where my stinking kid goes to
college. It's all it is. It's the parent's ego, a lot of it. It's parents ego. And it's the
ego of the individual going, saying, I went there.
But the actual data says 78% of the Fortune 500 presidents on the publicly traded big board
went to state schools, eight out of ten, state schools.
So there's actually data that says going to a state school has a higher probability of leading
a Fortune 500 company than going to a muckety-muck with a name.
So the biggest pushback I'm hearing now is it's the people.
that you get to meet.
I've heard that my whole life.
And so far,
so far those people have not caused anyone to be successful.
We can't find any research that says that.
Success comes from grit,
perseverance,
character,
integrity,
and knowledge base,
not hobnobbing with a bunch of snobs.
That is book my fraternity brothers
caused me to be successful.
Horse crap.
It didn't happen ever on this century,
ever once.
never but these people all act like this because they have to rationalize these stupid dollars
they paid for this so vanderbilt right now is 80,000 dollars a year to go to school university
of Tennessee is 12,000 dollars a year to go to school I went to the university of Tennessee and
people that went to vanderbilt work for me now figure that one out this is just this is the way
the life works out here boys and girls so in turn in other words I got enough knowledge base
at the wonderful Haslam School of Business
at the University of Tennessee,
I got enough knowledge base
to build a $300 million company
and my character and my grit
and God's blessings
and the stuff we've all been through
to get here, okay?
And to be honest,
the education you got
was probably a fraction of you actually succeeding.
It is the perseverance.
It is the hard work.
It's the never give up.
You know what I mean?
It's those things.
The education, I use accounting every day.
I use statistics every day.
on the air with you people.
And I learned that academically there.
Yes, yes, yes.
So it is an actual education that has value, yes.
But where I went to school, the number of times someone came up to me and goes,
here's a million dollars because you went to UT is zero.
It's quite the other way around.
UT says, could we have a million dollars?
That's exactly what it is.
I mean, this is, y'all, this is where we get our problem from.
And as parents, you need to speak into this and not participate in all this mythology.
love your children enough to give them a big nope nope nope you're not doing that if you do that
you're not taking this car that's got my name on it if you do that you're not taking a dime of my
money you are on your own if you're going to go live in the land of stupid i'm going to wave at you
from over here i love you and i'll watch you wreck your life but i will not help you wreck your life
and i will do everything i can to talk you out of it and to stand in your way my child tells me
where they're going to school.
My kid didn't tell me nothing with my money.
I told them stuff.
And Rachel can attest to that.
We had discussions and we talked persuasively and I talked to adult to adult until they
weren't acting like an adult.
And then I just told them what we're doing.
And that, oh, you can't do.
Yeah, by God, you can do that.
Tell your counselor when you're 30, but you're not going to be in student loan debt.
Because your dad's a butthole.
Great.
That's fine.
But you're not going to afford the therapist because you don't have loans.
Well, I mean, that's it.
You can afford one because you don't have student loan debt.
But, you know, this is out of control, you guys.
Yes.
And again, this is on the borrowing side.
If you have $5 million, you want to send your kids somewhere, that's fine.
But don't do it on the basis of it's going to cause them to be successful.
Oh, totally.
Oh, 100%.
That's mythology.
Yes, 100%.
It's absolute mythology.
The reason I'm successful is I went to MIT.
It said no one ever.
Really?
Seriously.
well possible exception of Trump but anyway there you go that was fun that was a fun little rant
good so we need a day well happy Thanksgiving everyone everyone was worried about you you're in good
health good spirits you've seen it here everything's good Thanksgiving that puts this hour of the
ramses show and the books we'll be back with you before you know it in the meantime remember there's
ultimately only one way to financial peace and that's to walk daily with the prince of peace
christ jesus
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