The Ramsey Show - App - The Hard Road Is The One That Moves You Forward

Episode Date: November 26, 2025

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Normal is broken common sense is weird, so we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network and the Fair Winds Credit Union Studio, this is the Ramsey show. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Rachel Cruz, number one best-selling office. Ramsey Personality, and my daughter is my co-host on this Thanksgiving Eve. If you don't know, William Henry Seward, William Seward, was Abraham Lincoln's Secretary of State. He was also the brains behind that presidency in a lot of ways, including he wrote a lot of Abraham Lincoln's speeches that became world-renowned and famous, including the this proclamation that was issued October the 3rd, 1863, right in the middle of the Civil War. The Civil War would end about 18 months after this was, the proclamation was issued by the
Starting point is 00:01:15 President of the United States of America. Here's Lincoln. The year that is drawing towards its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. to these bounties which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come. Others have been added, which are of so extraordinary in nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften, even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity,
Starting point is 00:01:57 which has sometimes seemed to foreign states to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations. Order has been maintained. The laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theater of military conflict, while that theater has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defense have not arrested the plow, the shuttle, or the ship. The axe has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore.
Starting point is 00:02:49 population has steadily increased notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp the siege and the battlefield and the country rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom no human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things they are the gracious gifts of the most high God who while dealing with us in anger for our sins hath nevertheless remembered mercy it seemed to me fit and proper
Starting point is 00:03:32 that they should be solemnly reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American people I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day of Thanksgiving and praise
Starting point is 00:03:58 to our beneficent father who dwelleth in the heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners, or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the almighty hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the divine purposes to the full and
Starting point is 00:04:46 of peace, harmony, tranquility, and union. In testimony whereof I have heretofore set my hand and caused the seal of the United States to be affixed done at the city of Washington this third day of October, the year of our Lord, 1,863, President Abraham Lincoln. Wow. I've read that every year that I've been on the air for 30-something years, and I never get over it. Some of you people think I'm a cornball, but it's my show, so shut up. I'm just signing up for head cornball, that's me, but I mean, the president of the United States
Starting point is 00:05:23 issues a proclamation to say thank you to God for his blessings. And if you didn't hear that in there, you weren't listening. That's exactly what this says. And it's so far afield from the way people think today, and especially people in Washington, D.C., think today. And, but man, what a great reminder of the greatness of these men. Yeah. And that their source was their faith. Yeah. Well, and the acknowledgment of where they were at. You know, they were not naive to what was going on. And even the line with the, I don't know if I've ever, I mean, you said you've read this for every, yeah, I read it every Thanksgiving Eve.
Starting point is 00:06:08 Apparently, I haven't done the show with you on this day. The other part of the cornball experience, the other part of the cornball experiences, as you call in today, you have to tell us what you're thankful for. That's your ticket to own with the show. There you go. One thing. I love it. Um, but no, it was the part with those who are mourning and those who are orphaned and widowed. You know what I mean? Like it's, it's the reality of the world. And so I like that they don't shy, that he doesn't shy away from it. And yet, rising above to the greatest message of what can be and what we're all, you know what I mean? It rises you up out of it. Yeah, it's a different. I, yeah. And even, I mean, Seward is Secretary of State. So he goes ahead and sends a message.
Starting point is 00:06:46 to the other countries that think they might come in while we're weakened and let them know that we're at peace with you and you probably want to keep it that way. He just sent a little a little shot out over the bow there. This is it. This is what caused Thanksgiving, like this was the official. This is the formation. Now, George, George Washington did a proclamation that actually I don't know whether AI's got this wrong because it's picking it up out of Reddit because nothing you read on Reddit's true. But somebody posted the thing the other day that sounded similar to this from Washington, so I don't know if that's a mess up or if Seward stole some of Washington's proclamation. But George Washington did do a Thanksgiving, but this is the
Starting point is 00:07:26 time that the actual made it a national holiday, the third Thursday of November. And it was in the middle of the Civil War. And it is so poetic and people don't say beneficent anymore. I've never said beneficent in my life, except when I've read this. So, yeah, that's just, I mean, it's amazing, though when you just say the hand of the almighty yeah i mean this is vernacular that we don't use and we probably should hello we probably ought to step back and go who is really in charge here guess what it's not a republican or a democrat get thank god you know i mean because they can mess up christmas and thanksgiving and so i mean my gosh but i thank god you know thank god it is god that the watchful providence of Almighty God.
Starting point is 00:08:18 And the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of a nation and to restore it. Beautiful. Yep. Beautiful. Very poetic. Happy Thanksgiving, y'all. Happy Thanksgiving. Amen.
Starting point is 00:08:28 Open phones here at AAA 825-5-225. Bradley is with us with us in Oregon. Bradley is with us in Oregon. What are you thankful for? I am thankful to live in America. Amen. A lot of countries in the world, like, you know what, for all the problems in America, I'd rather take care of. I'm thankful that Almighty God put me here.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Amen. Amen. Thank you, sir. How can we help? Yeah, a quick question. This might be one of the shorter calls on the Ramsey show. My question is, where in the baby steps is a person financially secure enough to quit a job that they don't like and start doing what they do want to do?
Starting point is 00:09:38 My current job is paying decently well, but otherwise I don't like it. it. As soon as I get to the point where I know that I can quit, I will hand in my resignation notice. What would you go do? What would you go do? Training horses and trimming their hooves. I can make pretty good money underneath a horse. The only problem is that I need to get the clientele built up, and so there would be a couple months timeline there that I need to have something.
Starting point is 00:10:09 So is it called a furrier, a furrier, what's it called? A ferrier. Ferrier. Ferrier. Horshering, trimming, that kind of thing. Okay. And so why can't you start that as a side hustle? I do that on Saturdays and holidays and evenings and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:10:25 As I do, my current job, I'm working up to 60 hours a week. So there's not always a whole lot of time in evenings and stuff like that. Can you dial back the hours on the job you hate? Unfortunately, no. Okay. Because what I'd love to do is it's not a baby steps thing, and it's not really how much money you have in the bank thing. It's a, when you can get your income on the ferrier side hustle up close to your current income, then it make, you know, you can make as much doing that, then go do something you like instead of something you hate, right? So what are you making as a ferrier? What was your income last year? Well, I don't have, it's not a full time. It's just, I know. Did you not pay taxes on it?
Starting point is 00:11:09 No. Okay. So what did you make? Do you have any idea? It's about $100 an hour when I do it. So a Saturday could be $300, $400 without any problem at all. So let's say you're making a couple grand a month on a good month. Yeah. What do you make at your day job? About $5,000 a month. All right. So how close do you want to get the $2,000 to the $5,000 before you walk? out is the question pretty close i want to step into the boat i don't want to leap to the boat right
Starting point is 00:11:45 exactly so i'm going to figure out some way to dial up the side hustle and get that moving and the only other thing you could do is just pile up a huge pile of cash to cover you to and make the transition but honestly i've had people that that that screws them up because then they live out of that cash instead of making their business work and i want you to make this new business work and know that it's going to work and know there's enough horses in your area and enough business in your area for you to make $5,000, $6,000 a month. And do you feel like realistically, Bradley, that that's possible? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:18 Yeah. It's definitely possible. There's quite a bit of money in this area and a lot of horses, pasture ordinance, kind of thing. Who's your competition? Not very many people, unfortunately. Failures have a reputation for not returning calls and stuff like that. So anybody that returns calls and-
Starting point is 00:12:38 So if you price reasonable and- your price reason is going to return the call and show up, business is going to be all over you. Probably. Bradley, for a month, how much does it take to operate your household where you're not stressed, but you're like, you're comfortable? $4,000 is pretty tight. Okay, okay. Does your wife work?
Starting point is 00:12:58 She's full-time stay-at-home mom. She works more than I do. I didn't mean that. I mean, I should have said, does she earn an income? I'm sorry. Okay. No, is the answer. So she does not earn a income.
Starting point is 00:13:09 income. Yeah, I just want you to get close to where you're not just, you know, jumping off and praying there's water in the pool, right? So that, and the only way to do that is some, I would prescribe, and I've done this, that's why I can say it, I would prescribe that you take your side hustle and make it highly uncomfortable for a year because you're working like an absolute maniac to prove to yourself and your wife that you can make a living do it. that by getting your income up to three, four, five thousand dollars a month on the side hustle
Starting point is 00:13:44 and push back on your existing job, try to get as much time as you can away from them legally without hurting them in any way and that kind of thing. But 60 hours is pretty much a stretch. If you can get dialed back towards 40, you could really use that extra hours to crank up. And that means you're not going to see a television or a sporting event. You're going to be doing horses hooves for a year, dude, like all the time. Because if you prove to yourself that you can do this, walking out on the other thing is very easy. Yeah. Let me give you an example.
Starting point is 00:14:16 Let's pretend, and this can't happen, but let's pretend that you could make $7,000 a month with a side hustle. You could quit your job in about 30 seconds, right? Mm-hmm. That's what I'm trying to get you toward. You're not going to get to seven. But if I can get you close to the five, then it's easy to make this decision. Well, and I assume, too, if there's people around, if you're making two to three thousand, on just Saturdays and nights, you can easily pick up another thousand.
Starting point is 00:14:44 So to me, it feels doable. Yeah, I think what I'm telling you is crank up the intensity about six notches on the side hustle to prove to yourself that it's okay to quit and make it your full-time gig. That's the prescription. It's not a baby step thing, and it's not, you've got to have $10,000 in the bank. It's not any of that. Because if you had $40,000 in the bank and you burn $4,000 a month in 10 months because you suck at doing this business on the side and it doesn't pan out.
Starting point is 00:15:12 All you did is quit your job and go broke. And that's not what I want you to do. And sometimes people do that stuff. So doing it this way makes you prove to yourself that the market is there, that you can make a living doing this, and you build it and grow it from there. And that's exactly the direction I would go. Abby's with us in Virginia Beach. Hey, Abby, what are you thankful for?
Starting point is 00:15:35 Hi, I'm thankful for family. I have a husband and two little babies right now. Yay. Busy at your house. How can we help today? So I have a question about debt and then buying a car and then renting versus buying. But anyway, my husband and I are on baby step number two. We have about $50,000 left in our debt.
Starting point is 00:15:59 And we have $202 right now. And we're thinking about purchasing a new car just because of two little kids, our cars are cramped right now. And then also, we're renting currently. My husband's in the military, but we were thinking about buying a house. So I was just curious what your perspective on those would be. Are the cars, are they running okay, Abby? Yeah, yeah. They're both 2015.
Starting point is 00:16:26 My car, I mean, they're both, you know, 10 years right now. So they are starting to have little things. Like I just replaced my AC a couple months ago. my husband just had to get something down on his car. I can't remember. But they're both kind of like having small hiccups currently. Yeah. And do you guys have any money saved? We do. We have about $17,000 in like our savings emergency fund. Okay, okay. And how much debt do you have 50? Yeah, so I would... About 50. Yeah. So you didn't loan debt. My husband went to the law school. So we've paid about 25,000 of it. Or no, I'm sorry, about 30,000 of it. But we have
Starting point is 00:17:05 50 to go. Okay. Well, yeah, so I would, honestly, Abby, I would throw that money at the debt, and I would be driving the cars until you guys are out of Baby Step 2. So, no, you don't need to buy a house, and I really wouldn't even buy a new car. I mean, I would push myself, and it is, I know there's probably so much stuff, but with two kids. What's your household income?
Starting point is 00:17:27 He makes about $100,000 a year. So if you put 16 of the 17 on the debt and had $1,000, $1,000. which is the true baby, then you would actually be on baby step two. Right now you're not, okay? Okay. Then you would have $33,000 left, and you make $100,000 a year, and you live on beans and rice, rice and beans, and you attack this debt with a vengeance.
Starting point is 00:17:49 Aren't you out of debt in a year? Yeah, I would hope so. I would hope so, too. And so one year from now, you move up in cars, and then you start saving towards your emergency fund, and then you start saving towards a house. Okay. I guess to not hold you guys up, but also with the, like, attacking the debt, is it, I guess, how do I say this?
Starting point is 00:18:17 I don't work. I'm a stay-at-home mom, so, like, sometimes trying to attack debt is hard because I don't work. No, it's not hard. You make a hundred, your husband makes $100,000 a year. You need $33. That leaves $67. that's if you want to do some side stuff that's fine but you have too little as you being at home we're not going to shame you for if that's what you're asking but you know buckle the kids in
Starting point is 00:18:44 the tight little car for a year and get yourself clear girl and then you can go live a good life Brian is in Oregon. Brian, what are you thankful for on this Thanksgiving Eve? Family, for sure. Amen. How can we help today? So thanks for taking my call. My fiancé and I are having a debate we want your help with.
Starting point is 00:19:22 So May 8th of 26, we will be blending families, and we have five children, 30, 29, 28. 27 and 23. I have two life insurance policy, one that she is the sole beneficiary of, and then one that my children would be the sole beneficiaries of. So she thinks that I should leave both policies to her and let her distribute that equally, which I'm not in disagreement with. We're just kind of looking for some direction that way.
Starting point is 00:20:00 okay the purpose of life insurance is not to leave an estate the purpose of life insurance is to support the people you leave behind that are counting on your income to eat none of those grown people should be counting on your income to eat okay and so I would not keep a life insurance in order to distribute to them whether directly or indirectly through her that's not a reason to keep life insurance I wouldn't go to the expense I would use my money bill wealth and let that be distributed to either her or them in the will. And you can decide that then. So what do you make? A year? Well, that's a great question. Barely graduated from high school, almost flunked out of college, but with Drew before they kicked me out,
Starting point is 00:20:53 and I make probably about $180 a year. Well, sounds like you've overachieved. Well, done. Good for you, buddy. What do you do, man? That's awesome. Well, I'm blessed. I have a dream job. I'm an electrical inspector, and then I have a side hustle. Good for you. And what does your fiancé do? She's a teacher. Ah, okay. So she makes what? She makes maybe 60 to 70 a year.
Starting point is 00:21:27 Okay. Cool. All right. So what I would do is put your new household together in such a way that if something happened to you that she's in good shape that's what insurance is for and the same thing vice versa if you're dependent upon her 70 a year to eat then we would want to replace that income by having a lump sum to invest and that's what life insurance is for but to leave it to a 31 year old child no not a chance i'm not keeping that i'll put that money in my pocket and tell tell you to know that she's probably smiling very big right now because she said that very same thing oh wow so i do wonder though it's always hard with blended families when you get married later and you have adult children and a new spouse
Starting point is 00:22:13 enters when you are redoing your will your estate very difficult how you so that would be more of a question brian i think for your kids of what's left to them of yours um i mean let's let's say you had a million dollars in your 401 K's right you're saying instead of life insurance we're changing the discussion to keep the but to keep the spirit of the question alive for a second um yeah what would we do with that how do you distribute that to a blended family well the first thing i would do um i don't know okay so uh or like if you came into this marriage with some money as an example that that that kind of in your mind is allocated to your kids upon your death more than your
Starting point is 00:23:00 spouse, but you obviously love this person and want to take care of them with some of the money you're bringing into the marriage. So that's something, that's the same sticky wicket, as they say, that you've got to have that same exact discussion, but with a different product, not life insurance, but a pile of wealth. If you don't have a pile of wealth today, you don't have to figure that out, but it's, it does, it is a good, it's a healthy discussion to have, especially in the fiancé stage. Well, that's what I was wondering with your fiancee, where the spirit was, don't leave them anything? They're fine? Or was it, oh, no, it's life insurance. They don't need life insurance. Do you know what I mean? That's what I was trying to gauge of. Yeah, no, I think it's
Starting point is 00:23:40 more of what you said that they're 30-year-olds. They don't need any kind of large lump sum of money to, and it's not that she wouldn't distribute it equally. It's just that I just had a notion that I just wanted to do it that way. Well, I mean, so what I would tell you guys to work through a similar question so the question is she wins on the life insurance thing okay you don't need life insurance to do that so let's don't do that but now let's have a similar discussion that says as we build wealth if i die before you or you die before me how much of it's going to be left to the remaining spouse and how much of it's going to be left to the kiddos and um if you guys are starting without much wealth right now you're starting your new marriage without a big
Starting point is 00:24:29 net worth, it probably would just be, it all goes to spouse and the spouse figures it out. But oftentimes when you got blended, one of you is coming into the, like, I own a house and I got $400,000 worth of equity in that, okay? And the fiancé's, how does that go to the fiancé's kids? Right. You know, that doesn't make sense, kind of, you know, and you kind of got to go, ugh, I don't know, now I've got to talk through that. And these are good, healthy discussions because it makes you work.
Starting point is 00:24:59 through because what you know what what because people assume things yes and you don't want to assume things and what he just said a little bit of like well she just said they don't need a big pile of money okay well they don't need a big pile of money from a life insurance policy because that's that's not the reason for life but do they need a big pile of money from their dad who worked hard and has some and then you just get you know what I mean like that's a different pile of money yeah and I don't know how to I I don't know. But that's a decision and discussions you guys have to have. When it comes to your will and your estate and your assets, that's hard. That's hard. But it is, the reason it's important is to, if you can come into alignment on those kinds of things, when there are no emotions or limited emotions, because we're not in the middle of grief or we're not in the middle of a cancer diagnosis, or we're not in the middle of an argument after, death with the ones left behind, you know.
Starting point is 00:26:01 Well, Daddy always said he's going to give it to me, and now look at that the gold digger, she took it all, you know, that kind of crap, right? And that's exactly how it sounds 99% of the time if you don't work this stuff out ahead of time. So you need to work it out ahead of time because you guys coming into agreement on that is more important for your marriage and your relationship than it is actually about the distribution of the money. Yeah, and the health of the family after, you know.
Starting point is 00:26:26 And everybody, and then everybody knows. Yes. You know, she and I decided you get nut and honey. That's what, just like the cereal, you get nut and honey. That's the deal. What's that? It's a cereal. Honeynut Cheerios?
Starting point is 00:26:40 Yeah. Nutten, honey. Yeah. It's a thing. Probably in the early 80s. Well, it might have been in the 70s. I don't know. I have flashbacks these days.
Starting point is 00:26:48 It's my age. Oh, no. Flashbacks from commercials from the 60s. Oh, my gosh. Anyway, that's what you get, nothing, honey. I mean, you just tell them up front. Everyone needs a will, and if you're going to piss somebody off with a will, do it while you're alive. Don't leave it to the people left behind to do all the getting, everybody getting pissed off thing.
Starting point is 00:27:08 Go ahead and deal with it. And do have the backbone to implement it. Have a reading of the will while you're alive. It's highly uncomfortable. I call it the Monty Python meeting because I sit there and listen to what's going to happen when I die that I have planned out and I'm going. it's just a flesh wound. I'm feeling much better. You know, I'm really not sick. And so, you know, when Dave dies meeting. That's like basically what's on our calendar. That's what we call it, when Dave dies meeting, you know, once a year. And everybody knows that way. There's no freaking
Starting point is 00:27:39 confusion. And it's really healthy for everyone involved, but particularly the husband and the wife. Which means to do a will. We had our money and marriage event, Dr. John Deloney and I a few weeks ago, and we were walking through a financial checklist in one of the sessions, talking, through. I mean, it was kind of boring. I was like, free spirits, you got to stay with me because it's kind of like boring adult stuff. But we talked about a will for a good bit of just what that looks like, what to do. And then afterwards, at the end of the whole weekend, we had people write what they're going to do with their marriage when they leave, you know, certain things they're going to implement. And we, you know, I was thinking like communication, you know,
Starting point is 00:28:15 our thoughts about intimacy, like all these big discussions we talk about. There were so many that said we're making a will, which means they don't have one. So it's a reminder to all of you out there, make a will. Mama Bear legal forms is a great side. We need to get Mama Bear to throw that in in the package when they come all the way over here. I'm not kidding. The amount of people that were like, we're going to do a will. Do a will while you're sitting here. Like you have to do a little workshop. So do a state specific. Well, if your state's not complicated, you can do an online one. You can save the fees for all the attorneys and everything. If your net worth's over a million dollars, you need to do a, you know, a more detailed one, but I'm telling you, do a will.
Starting point is 00:28:49 When did you do your will at a marriage conference? Do you ever feel like you're doing everything right with your money? Maybe you've made changes and you had a few wins, but something still. feels off because not because you failed but because money isn't just math it's emotional and that emotional fight can quietly sabotage your progress that's exactly what jade washaw's new book what no one tells you about money's all about it puts you in the driver's seat for your life and the problem with money is people think it's just math and it's not it's all about the person in your mirror and that includes emotions it's a spiritual walk an emotional walk a relational
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Starting point is 00:30:38 or podcast, click the link in the description. Jake is in North Dakota. Jake, what are you thankful for? I'm thankful Christ died for my sins, Dave. Amen and amen. I better get for that. Never gets old. Never gets old.
Starting point is 00:30:54 the greatest story ever told. How can we help today? Amen. Well, I recently read your book, Total Money Makeover. My wife and I have been kind of paying attention to your show for about a year now, and we've been able to merge our finances. We used to have separate accounts, but we've merged everything together. We've been paying down on our debt, but I would like to be more intense about it,
Starting point is 00:31:19 and I don't know how to get her on board with that. I don't want to be forceful. it's not my will to be forceful about it with her, but I would like us to be more intense and get out of debt. Okay, so what does that mean practically? Do you feel like you could be, I mean, how much more money do you feel like you could be throwing at the debt per month that you guys are just spending? Quite a bit.
Starting point is 00:31:42 We've got, we've got two car payments that I would love to get rid of. I'd like to sell both vehicles. She's not on board with that, at least at this time. debt-wise, we have just under $300,000 in debt. Counting your mortgage? That's everything, yeah. Yeah, how much is that your mortgage? How much is that your mortgage?
Starting point is 00:32:03 About $184 in a mortgage. You have $16,000 in debt? No, no, no, no, $160, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I missed it. Okay, $116, okay. That sounds about right, yep. And is that, what does that consist of the second mortgage? Okay.
Starting point is 00:32:20 What's your household? What's your household income? About 160, 170 a year without overtime. How long you all been married? Boy, since 2012. I've got to think for a minute. 13 years. Okay. When did you guys just start this? You said you just read the book and you're starting this process. How long has it been?
Starting point is 00:32:43 We started this at about the end of March of this year. That's when you combined the finances? Yes, sir. talking about doing it for a number of years, but we just never pulled the trigger, did it. What does she do for later? We both got ourselves into. She works for, trying to find the words for it. She, they deal with, like, selling health insurance benefits to businesses.
Starting point is 00:33:09 She's like a consultant doing that. Okay. And what's her hesitation when she, when you said, I want to sell the cars and she doesn't? What's her reasoning behind that? she just doesn't want to she likes the car and i don't i don't blame her they're i mean we bought both of them brand new in 2021 yeah um but you know she she doesn't want to sell that and get into something unreliable we live in the north where it's uh winters are harsh and we either one of us wants to be in something unreliable driving our kids around but yeah yeah um out of the 116
Starting point is 00:33:43 how much are the cars what are the car paying the car loans the 25 000 o o on hers and 23 on mine. So half of its cars. Okay. Yeah. The other hat, well, almost. And again, 49 is the second mortgage. We have about 18,000 in credit card debt, which we've been hemorrhaging money and paying down a lot of credit card debt. Have you cut up your credit cards? I have not cut that one up, but it is not carried with it. How often do you go out to
Starting point is 00:34:18 eat? We don't. We cook at home. I hunt and fish, so we provide as much of our food the natural way that we can. Well, that's nice. Well, you've got a good place to do that. Um, so do you, so again, this not selling cars would not be gazellant tense. I understand that. And then per month, how much could you, where else could you be saving money? What else would you cut out that you would if if it was up to you, where are you guys spending that you want to cut? Um, I guess we, we budget, uh, a little bit extra in the, um, each month for just, you know, things, pursuing our own interests, I guess. So this mainly comes down to the question of intensity or gazelle intensity, mainly comes
Starting point is 00:35:10 down to the car discussion. Is that what you're saying? One hundred percent. Okay. All right. Um, that's fair. All right, so here's what I would do. I would just sit and keep having the discussion. Sell your car, Jake.
Starting point is 00:35:23 Yeah, that you can lead by selling yours. Yep. And not hers. And I'm looking into that right now. But tell her, but we are making this decision, not you. Okay. We are, I'm willing to get rid of mine so that we can advance. And here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:35:41 The reason that people don't cut up a credit card, the reason that people continue to go out to eat, the reason that people go on vacation is they don't think they're going to win. If you think you're going to win, you'll sacrifice to win. But if you sacrifice and don't win, no one wants to do that. That's psychotic. Okay. So selling your cars and then being broke for the next five years is not a good plan.
Starting point is 00:36:05 That's weird. We're not asking to do that. You're not asking to do that. But right now, you're talking about selling the car instead of talking about the dream of what it's going to be like when we don't have a stinking payment except our mortgage. and we can actually build some wealth and pay cash for whatever kind of car we want. We're going to live like no one else so that we can live and give like no one else. Talk about the second part. The two of you dream together in high definition of what life is going to look like
Starting point is 00:36:31 when we finally get all this crap away from us and we're not normal anymore because normal sucks. And Jake, as much as you can, I think it's sometimes helpful because it sounds like she's probably more of the free spirit in the relationship. You're probably more of the nerd. would you say that's right? Very much. Okay. So use your nerd advantage and honestly make some, make some scenarios.
Starting point is 00:36:56 I feel like that's always helpful when people feel like that there's just like, this is the only thing and like, and exactly what Dave was just saying, like sell the cars and then it's like, okay, well, what's after that? Like, what are we doing? There's something about having a scenario. Scenario one, Jake sells his car. We find an extra $800 a month in the budget, like whatever it is. Like boom, boom, boom, boom. we're out of debt in X amount of time, then we're going to be able to save X amount per month to upgrade the car. And here's the reality, right? And then scenario number two, if we both sell
Starting point is 00:37:25 the car, scenario three, if we don't sell either car and we just pay it off, here's how long we'll be in debt, like actually have some reality to it because sometimes just the idea can just feel a little bit like nebulous or something. So if you can get some details down and you guys look at a couple of different options and different plans of how to get there, how to get to this goal of being debt-free, it feels more realistic to. Let me give you an example of what Rachel's saying. Let's pretend you didn't have a car and you're calling me and saying, I want to take out a car payment. And I say, well, the average car payment's $500. It's not anymore. It's a lot higher than $7.226. Okay, so for 10 months, I want you to save $750. What is that? $7,500. Buy a $7,500
Starting point is 00:38:04 car for cash 10 months from now. 10 months later, you'll have $7,500 and a $7,500 car doesn't go down much in value, so you can sell it for $7,500. Put that with the new $7,500. You've got a $15,000. car. A scenario is that 20 months from now you are driving a $15,000 paid for a car instead of being saddled with a stupid butt car payment of $750. That's a scenario. That shows you a way out. Instead of like, drive a hoopty, that doesn't take me anywhere. I need something more than that. So where are we going at this thing? That's what Rachel's saying, and that's the way to handle it, Jake. And you're a good man, she's a good woman. This is going to work out for you guys. It's going to be okay.
Starting point is 00:39:04 No matter what you want to do with your money. You need a budget. Start budgeting for free today with the every dollar app. The easiest way to budget. Track your and reach your goals faster go to every dollar dot com today welcome back to the ramsie show in the fair wins credit union studio i'm d'amsy your host happy thanksgiving to you rachel cruise number one best-selling author, host of the Rachel Cruz show. Ramsey personality, my daughter is my co-host. Thanksgiving around Ramsey, we're pretty much a cheese factory around here. We like celebrating this stuff, and we like Christmas, and we like anything that makes
Starting point is 00:39:57 the kiddos smile, which makes Papa Dave smile, and makes the mom and daddy smile, and that's what Turkey does. So we are a thankful family. We believe in gratitude. We believe in generosity. These are things that bring you great happiness. So when you call in today, your ticket of entry is going to be what you are thankful for. The phone numbers, AAA 825-2-2-2-25.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Mike is with us in Tampa, Florida. Mike, what do you thankful for? I'm thankful for my wife and the life we have here in Florida. Awesome. How can we help? Yeah, Dave. My wife and I have been using every dollar for the last 10 years. We went through Financial Peace University, and we've been debt-free for five years.
Starting point is 00:40:40 I'm at retirement age now, and we have, we're a blended family with four adult kids, and one of my adult children, a daughter, eloped with her now husband to Hawaii last year, and just sent me a text and said that they're going to have a wedding, a destination wedding, in Spain this summer, and traditionally is the parents' families' responsibilities to pay for that wedding or to contribute. And my wife and I discussed it. We don't agree with that. They will have been married over two years by the time this event takes place. And we don't feel obligated to support that.
Starting point is 00:41:26 Okay. And just wanting to get your advice. I like it. I mean, it's your money. So where did this entitlement that she's entitled? titled for this come from? I think she was raised that way by my ex. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:41:44 Okay. Was there discussions? There's some of that attitude. Okay. Was there any discussion, Mike, a year ago before they eloped that you guys were going to plan a wedding and you were going to help with it? And then they were like, you know what? We don't, we just want to elope.
Starting point is 00:41:58 You know what I mean? Like, was there ever discussions, any expectations that was set at any point that you were going to help? or is this just like come okay so that that was never even talked about has another daughter gotten married and you paid for it and you said well whatever we did for her we'll do for everyone nope no I didn't I didn't my other my oldest daughter got married didn't ask for anything we went to the wedding oh wow yeah but this is they they wanted to call us and even tell us they were married and we
Starting point is 00:42:29 went up as soon as we heard we bought airline tickets went to where they live we went for the weekend to celebrate their wedding, took them out to dinner, spent the weekend with them, and we felt like that that was the right thing to do. Yeah, totally. And now she's in Spain. Wait a minute, wait a minute. So how long have you been divorced from her mom? Oh, 20 years.
Starting point is 00:42:53 Okay. And she's how old? 33. Okay. So she was 13. Correct. Okay. And so a lot of times in that scenario, you end up rebuilding a relationship a decade after the divorce.
Starting point is 00:43:17 Does that sound right? Right. Huh? Yeah, yeah. She, we had a call last Sunday, and she pretty much unloaded that kind of stuff on me. That goes back to when I remarried. So, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:31 Yeah. Okay. Okay. So the reason I bring that up is the way you described, she didn't tell you she's married, so we're going to go visit. That kind of felt like olive branch stuff from someone you're not real close to. Yeah, I'm not, frankly, not close with any of my daughters. Okay. For pretty much the same reason. Yeah, yeah, because divorce is nasty, yeah. And, yeah, yeah. Okay. so then this request is not entitlement it's a guilt trip uh partially and partially i think it is and i think she does have what i call the princess complex she she feels like she comes for
Starting point is 00:44:12 money and yeah um i mean she'd have to go find that source because you're apparently not it no maybe you have it but that doesn't mean it's hers yeah yeah i'm um you know uh so here's the think pick up a book by dr henry cloud called boundaries and you and your current wife read that because you need to be prepared she does not respect boundaries and when you set boundaries with a boundaryless person they seldom react positively in other words there's not any version of no she's going to be okay with right and um and so i just want you to be prepared for that because there's some heartbreak that goes with that so you mean you've been trying to reach out you've been trying to reengage as her dad as an adult dad a dad of an adult
Starting point is 00:45:08 daughter and now she's coming in with this wild thing and it's going to harm whatever positive moves you've made but that is also the proper still the proper thing to do but I just want you to know it's not this is not going to be easy for you it's going to hurt right because she's going to throw a fit and say i'm never going to speak to you again or something like that well she's going to turn into the victim yeah yeah you've never been there for me and you're not there for me now you know and this kind of bull crap right yes sir that's the exact conversation we had last week yeah yeah so you've already told her you already told her no yes i i i she she basically pushed it so i called her to ask her you know why why this place why they felt like
Starting point is 00:45:56 they needed to have another event after they were already married. It didn't make sense to me. And they both went and got master MBAs. And I don't think financially that they should be spending money on a destination. I think they've probably got some student debt. I don't know. I don't know their finances, but I would assume that. And so yeah, I just don't think they're making wise decisions and um and i actually shared that i thought maybe they could have made a different decision they didn't like she didn't like my answer yeah i i there's no form of no but piling on to their financial decisions it probably didn't help at all so um but the anyway i think i would just keep it very clean and very simple and just say listen my love for you and my desire to have
Starting point is 00:46:50 a relationship with you guys going forward has nothing to do with money and it has nothing to do with how handle your money and it has nothing to do with Spain, you know, but I'm not, I don't feel at this stage the way our relationship is today, the way your life is built today, we don't feel good about this and so we're not willing to pay for this. I'm so sorry. I know you probably don't understand that and I'm prepared for you to not understand that. Yeah, and I almost would be, I would caution putting it on a condition on her. I wonder if it's a, hey, we've talked and we've decided we're choosing not to spend this money. We're looking at the situation.
Starting point is 00:47:28 My hope is that, Mike, you know, that there is some reconciliation in the relationship, but again, this is going to be a barrier to that, which is so sad, you know, what, it was going so well until she started demanding that. Right, right. So, we, we like, we like the husband. We, we offered to come and support the event. We just, and we told her that, you know, we had put in our budget for all the travel and all to go, but that we just couldn't afford to also contribute to pay for it.
Starting point is 00:47:58 I'm not going to pay for it. I don't think you're wrong. I don't think you're wrong at all. I just want you to be prepared for the backlash. I'm sorry. Countdown to Christmas is on. Do you believe it? A ton of great deals for Black Friday and Cyber Monday right now with us. Special one-day sales.
Starting point is 00:48:42 And we're talking hardcover books, audio books, assessments. All stuff is low as $3.99. What? Yeah, check it out. Go to ramsysolutions. com slash store. Click the link. in the description if you want that might be the easiest way to get there thomas is with us in
Starting point is 00:48:58 austin texas thomas what are you thankful for hi my wife and kids cool how can we help hey so i'm on babysat three i've been doing great falling off plan and recently i got approached by a family member about some uh financial advising so we did a couple sessions but now they're trying to tell me that my term life policy is not great and i should be getting disabilities insurance and term 80 and it just all feels like more of a self-pitched than financial advising and now as a family member I don't know how to think about it am I crazy and I just don't know how to approach that okay so what you're telling me is is that you smell stink yes sir okay then in the conversation absolutely
Starting point is 00:49:49 the sessions are great but I don't I don't care what they're selling even if what they're selling is good, you always end the conversation around money when you smell stink. Because your smeller is better than anything out there. Trust your instincts is what I'm saying. Okay. I don't know what this product is. You haven't described it.
Starting point is 00:50:14 I don't even know what the family member does. I don't know if they know what they were doing. Maybe they were changing oil at Jiffy Loop three weeks ago. Now they're a financial planner. That happens fairly often. Okay. I don't know any of that, but you smell stink, Thomas, and I trust your smell. Just end it based on that. Just say, listen, thank you for the help so far. We love you. We're just going to remain good family members, and we're not going to move forward with any financial products with a family member at this time. Have you already put your money with them, Thomas?
Starting point is 00:50:50 No, no, yeah. Okay, okay. Don't. Yeah. okay so just stay with what I got stay the course don't argue about the products
Starting point is 00:51:02 don't argue about family don't argue no is a complete sentence this is a very quick calm kind sentence we've talked about it my wife and I and we've decided not to move forward
Starting point is 00:51:19 with any financial products at this time yeah and we just want to keep our money and our family member separate and it just feels cleaner that way and thank you thank you for what you're done for offering all this we appreciate it have a good night bye-bye it's like a that's like a 15 or a 22nd thing here we're not getting into a day-long debate about this okay okay so what i want to do is give you give the power back to you how close is the family member thomas is it a sibling is it an aunt or uncle it's a cousin it's a cousin Okay.
Starting point is 00:51:52 Cousin Eddie. Yeah. It's got stink on it. So, listen, here's the thing. How long has cousin been in the business? Financial business. A couple months. I just graduated college this year.
Starting point is 00:52:07 Oh, okay. Yeah. I think you're good. Yeah. So you're smelling the right smell. Let me tell you about the business, okay, from the outside end, just to give you some more power. I don't want you to share any of this with cousin.
Starting point is 00:52:18 I just want you to have the knowledge base, okay, because it will give you some strength. 80% of the people that start selling life insurance are out of the business in 12 months. Wow. Yeah. Here's what their life insurance business is based on. They hire your cousin so he can work what's called his natural market. That's what they call it. His natural market are people that he has influence with, not because of his financial ability, but because of his relationships and so he calls his old friends from high school his fraternity brothers from college he calls his wife's friend on the soccer field he calls all of his cousins and he sits down and once he's run his run through that list he's out of prospects and he goes out of business because
Starting point is 00:53:13 they don't furnish him any new leads they use people to get to their relationships that's their marketing model. It's called working the natural market. And that's why 80% of them, once they run through their natural list, they're out of the business. And that doesn't mean they're bad people, but your cousin is, quite frankly, being taken advantage of. You see what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:53:40 So if you put your money with them, you're not going to be working with him in a year. He won't be there anymore, 80% of the time. So he couldn't get a better job. this is the one he took, bless his heart. Or he fell for a sales pitch of how much money he could make and all the things. And all that bullcrap. So please walk away. And especially, and let me just give you this.
Starting point is 00:54:07 I'm like, he just graduated college a few months. I'm like, he's just a kid. So like genuinely, if he was like had been in the business for 30 years and he had a reputation. Do you know what I mean though? And I think it would be kind of a harder kind of slap in the face of like, dude, this is my job. I've been doing this for 30 years. And you know what I mean? If it's your old uncle and he's good at it, it'd be kind of like, oh, sorry, that's awkward.
Starting point is 00:54:27 But he's like a 21-year-old who just started this. So I'm like, yeah, you're good. He's selling knives next week. And we don't want to buy the knives either. Thank you, Cutco. No, Cutco is great knives. Yeah, but guess who sells them? Same exact model.
Starting point is 00:54:39 Which is great. Same exact model. You go sell your grandma, you go sell your aunt, some knives, and then you're out of the business. And that's what you work in natural markets, the exact same pots and pans thing. It's an old marketing distribution method. And it's not a wrong. It's not a, okay. If you don't think the person's going to succeed once they finish working their list
Starting point is 00:55:00 and you're only hiring them to access their list, that is wrong. Yes, that's ethically wrong. Okay, that's fair. That's fair. Okay. I think about the Girl Scouts, you know? They go to the neighbors. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:55:12 Well, the Girl Scouts are not making a career off of your money. That's fair. Okay, that's fair. They're just making you fat with a thin mince. That's fair. We love the Girl Scouts. We love you. And so, yeah, that's it.
Starting point is 00:55:24 That's how the thing works. Now, so there's a good rule of thumb. What I'm trying to get you to do, everybody out here is trust your instincts. Okay. I just love the proverb that says the simple sees danger and moves forward and is harmed for it. the wise senses danger and seeks refuge and becomes safe and so when we go against this smell test every one of us have that moment or in the middle of doing something stupid with money and you have the opportunity to not do it and you go I knew better I knew better
Starting point is 00:56:08 how many have you have done something dumb and you look back and you go right in the middle of it I knew it but I just was caught up in the moment I was caught up and it was a family member and I just felt guilty and I felt trapped and that, that, that, that, and you, you knew, though, that it was bad. And Thomas, I'm just telling you, man, trust the smell. And it doesn't mean your cousin's a bad dude. I'm not saying that. I'm not even sure these products are bad. I think they probably are. I think it's probably a whole life bull crap, but, but I'm not sure. I don't know who, what it is or what he's selling. Doesn't matter. The point is, you don't need to be doing business with him. And because the hair stood up on the back of your
Starting point is 00:56:44 rattle snake in the bush that's what happens your your body has a physical reaction when you sense danger and it's it's the lizard brain prompting you and going don't do it smells bad skunk in the bush don't get over there you know it's a simple thing but we we we get all all of us get all intellectual and sophisticated and rationalize our way past and want to be nice that's and we want to be nice we want to pass you know and we just walk right past the stink right into the scum. Yep, yep. There's a book,
Starting point is 00:57:15 The Gift of Fear, and it's a guy who used to do security, but he wrote this whole book and mostly towards women about physical safety, but how many stories. It's like,
Starting point is 00:57:24 oh, I got a bad feeling, but I still let them help me unload my groceries to my door. You know what I mean? Like bad things out. And it's like that whole, I mean, that's like his number one thing.
Starting point is 00:57:33 And don't, don't be afraid that like, you know, you want to be a kind person, but sometimes it's like, you don't have to be nice. It's okay. It's real.
Starting point is 00:57:41 Better be not nice than dead. Yes, the gut reaction is true. So, Thomas, whether it's this or something else, trust your instincts. It's God's spirit in you speaking up. It's saying, don't do it. Don't do it. And, Thomas, you notice how quickly I took you there, Thomas. I didn't even know what was going on.
Starting point is 00:57:57 I was depending on that smell test. Well, Music Well, it's the season. It's that time of year, In a few weeks, we're going to be doing a special giving edition of the Ramsey show. We want to hear stories from you about how generosity has impacted you. Maybe you've been the giver or the receiver.
Starting point is 00:58:54 Maybe you've been in a, had an incredible story that will inspire others to give by something that happened to you or through you. We want to hear about it. Go to Ramsey Solutions.com slash ask and put giving in the subject line. We do this every year at Christmas time. and it is one of our most popular shows. It's going to be December the 18th. So start sending in your stories now.
Starting point is 00:59:17 Ramsey Solutions.com slash ask, put giving in the storyline and in the subject line and tell us a little bit about the story. And we'll get in touch with you and make you part of our annual giving show. It's very inspiring. John is in Los Angeles. Hey, John, how are you? I'm doing well, Dave. Pleasure to talk to you today. You too.
Starting point is 00:59:36 How can we help? So quick question. for you. A little advice. I have a feeling I know what you're going to say, but I just need confirmation, I guess. Um, so, uh, father of six, been married for 15 years, um, income around just north of 200. We have zero consumer debt. I have a outstanding mortgage balance of about 220 with a mortgage rate of about 2.875. Um, I've come into a sum of money, which about 200 and so what I want to do what I think I know I should do is just pay out of the house and move on with my life but that's easier setting down
Starting point is 01:00:25 you're sitting in the driver's seat and you got that interest rate okay there's several there's several layers to the answer okay I'll give you a couple of the A couple of the lenses through which you can look at this that reinforced the answer. Number one, we did the largest study of millionaires ever done in North America, Ramsey Research Team, 10,167 of them. The number of them, out of 10,000 millionaires, 89% of them were first-generation rich, meaning they were not inherited money. nine out of ten of America's millioners are first generation rich okay then we start asking okay how'd you get there what technique did you use where'd your money come from did you win the lottery the number of them that said I had a good interest rate on my mortgage so I didn't pay it off
Starting point is 01:01:25 and I invested the difference and that's that made me a millionaire the number of them that said that is precisely zero yeah so this idea that you used borrowed money on your house to become wealthy is mythology it's not true it doesn't happen in the real world so your theory is bull crap is what I'm saying it's not your theory it's a theory that floats all through our culture yeah but you can just understand how I can understand it but I'm telling you what I understand how you got there but I'm telling you what the data says okay so that's one way of looking at the second way of looking at is through a spiritual lens the borrower is
Starting point is 01:02:06 is slave to the lender. And people react to their careers differently and their generosity differently when they don't have a house payment. Yeah. Regardless of the interest rate. And so they tend to maximize their careers because they're not trapped.
Starting point is 01:02:27 Yeah. And they don't feel like they have to put up with some unethical or inefficient or crummy job because I got this stupid house payment even though the interest rate's great. And, John, out of all the people we've talked to throughout the years, whether it's at events on the show,
Starting point is 01:02:44 and people that have paid off their house and we ask them, do you regret it? Do you hate having a paid off house? Precisely zero. Nobody regrets it. And even if you do regret it, you can go pull out a mortgage again. If you want to Google Dave Ramsey, sucks, you'll see a lot of reasons that I suck.
Starting point is 01:03:04 Oh, yeah. But never, never one time will you see that Dave told me to pay off my house and I hate him. There's not one. They'll tell you I suck for a lot of other reasons that I'm awful. Yeah, no, I don't think you said. I know, but I'm just saying. It's just weird. Of all the trolling and all the critics we get, they're all people that haven't paid off their houses.
Starting point is 01:03:26 But we don't get people that paid off their house because I told them to that are mad at me. None, zero, nada. So do it. Pay it off. and enjoy your great life, dude. And if you hate being debt-free, go get you a new mortgage later. You know, you can always go back in debt.
Starting point is 01:03:42 I promise you they'll put your butt there if you want to be there. Tyler is in Atlanta. Hey, Tyler, what's up? Hey, Dave, how are you? Better than I deserve. What are you thankful for today? Just another grateful day on earth. That's all you can wish for.
Starting point is 01:03:58 Amen. How can we help? So, me and my wife, we got married in May, we were actually, we got married at the courthouse, but we're having a wedding in March of next year. So not a lot of people know that we're married, and we live in Atlanta now, and we're going to move back home down south. We have a couple thousand saved up in the bank. My wife wants to buy a house immediately when we move, but I want to live with my parents or her parents for a couple months and save up even more for a bigger down
Starting point is 01:04:35 payment so we don't have more of a payment on a house and be able to save for how old are you guys uh i am 24 she is 26 and what's your household income sir uh 8 grand a month okay there's nothing evil about any of the choices that you put in front of me uh there's only things that are smarter one thing smarter than another thing that's the only question question okay so in other words if you do any of these things you're probably not going to ruin your life you follow me so if you move into your parents probably not going to kill you for a little while if you go buy house probably not going to kill you my answer is I wouldn't do either one of those things I go rent a one-bedroom apartment for a year
Starting point is 01:05:21 as cheap as I possibly could over the garage of a rich old lady's house and mow her grass for half the rent and pile up as much cash as you can pile and don't be living with your mommy. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I'll pile up as much cash as I can pile up and learn the neighborhood and learn the area because it takes a year of being married to know how far from your mother-in-law you should buy.
Starting point is 01:05:49 Oof, yeah. They're great people, so. I'm talking about your wife. Yeah. Be newlyweds and not go share a kitchen with your parents. You make $8,000 a month. You're killing it. Yeah, just go.
Starting point is 01:06:10 Y'all go rent somewhere for a year. And you're going to a small town, I got a feeling. Yeah, yeah. And we're in Atlanta more paying two grand a mark. Whose town is it, yours or hers? It's actually both of ours. Oh. We both grew up there.
Starting point is 01:06:25 Both of our parents are there. Okay. So you know the town. So you know the town. Are you, Tyler, are you guys debt? free consumer debt-wise or y'all have payments um so we have a little bit of debt uh probably all together it's probably 10 grand but we have 70 in the savings 70,000 yes 70,000 savings okay well um okay we are six grand is for our honeymoon and then we have some other
Starting point is 01:06:56 yeah pay that pay that off tonight honey okay it's not it's not a pet Get rid of it. Absolutely. Yeah, it's not, it's nothing to case. Yeah, and then you guys figure out, you know, your emergency fund, which is going to be part of the 70, and then beyond that, what you want to save in a year for a down payment, because you guys are getting to get close. And with a small town, hopefully housing prices, you know, it's not like the Bay Area, so hopefully you can get into something.
Starting point is 01:07:22 And y'all would be great. Yeah, and I can modify it a little bit since I found out both of you are from there, and it's a small geographical area. You already know the town. so I don't have to give you a whole year, but at least six months. Just go rent something for six months. Get settled in, become married people. Everybody knows you're married.
Starting point is 01:07:40 It's a March thing happens, all that stuff. And then you start looking for a house. And by then, you can have saved up a little bit more money. And that's quick. That time is fast. You guys are going to be fine. It's a marathon. It's not a sprint.
Starting point is 01:07:55 You're doing good. I'm going to be you know. I'm going to I'm going to I'm Thank you. Sylvia is in Seattle.
Starting point is 01:08:43 Hey, Sylvia, what are you thankful for? Well, Dave, this is a hard Thanksgiving. My sister died a few months ago. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So the holidays are difficult to say, at least, but I do have things to be thankful for, and so I'm trying, she would want me to live
Starting point is 01:09:04 and not to, you know, just survive. So that's what I'm trying to do. And so thank you for asking. That's a healthy outlook. So, yeah, people need to realize. I'm a registered nurse, and so people need to understand how important your health is. Dave, real quick, I'm a registered nurse. I'm 66.
Starting point is 01:09:27 I retire in June 40 years, emergency and pandemic and such. I was raised. I'm the youngest of seven Army brat and was raised by parents. and the depression telling us to pay yourself first, know the difference between wants and needs and to save. And so that's what I've been doing. Currently, I have a home. I just bought a year ago after losing one in the recession in 2008.
Starting point is 01:10:00 It took me a while to build back up, but I bought a year ago. That's my only debt. That mortgage is $3,400 a month. I have an emergency fund of about $130,000. I have investments of about $1.2 million. I'm getting, I'll get $3,500 in Social Security and $2,000 in a pension. My question to you, which is different from most, is my whole life, my father's voice is in my ear to save, save. My financial counselor now tells me, Enid, it's time to.
Starting point is 01:10:39 to rent or to start spending. So I don't know how because in my head, it's like, keep saving, keep saving. And so I wondered if you could help me or give me some advice as how I flip that switch and start to live. Cool. My sister would want me. One detail. What is the balance on your mortgage?
Starting point is 01:11:08 500. Ooh. Okay. All right. To your question, then, there are only three things that we can do with money. We can save it and invest it, which you have done with Glory. You're a millionaire. Way to go. Congratulations. By the way, what's the home worth? About 850. Okay. All right. So you're worth about $1.5 million. is your net worth, okay? And the,
Starting point is 01:11:42 so that's absolutely incredible. You're a millionaire nurse at 66 years old, and you're obviously with the language you're using single, were you ever married? I was part of that whole early on in my 40s. We got divorced, and he had debt, and I had to pay off. So, you know, it's taking a lot of.
Starting point is 01:12:09 So that also left a mark, yeah. Okay. That makes sense. Yeah. So, again, there's three things that we can do. So Rachel and I wrote a book years ago was her first number one bestseller called Smart Money, Smart Kids, on teaching children how to handle money. And we taught children that there are three things that they can do with money. And parents' job is to teach them to do all three things, to give, to save, and to spend wisely.
Starting point is 01:12:39 okay, and to teach them to work, which is where money comes from, to do all three of those things, okay? So that's the lessons we teach kids. As adults, there's only three things we can do with money. We can give it. We can save it, and we can enjoy it, or spend it, which is what your counselor is saying. Now, we don't want to ever do just one because it's not a well-rounded life, and that's what your counselor's saying. You've become an expert saver. Your savings muscle is really big.
Starting point is 01:13:10 You have big muscles on the savings side. Your spending muscle is puny. Your giving muscle is probably underdeveloped. Am I right? Not accusing you of being greedy. I'm just saying you don't give a lot of money. I, you know, give to my church. I have done, I don't have children, and my will, I finished my will.
Starting point is 01:13:40 I'm talking about your monthly giving in your budget. Yeah, so it's other than to my church and what have you, yeah. Yeah, and that's 50 bucks or 100 bucks or something, yeah. Right. Yeah, okay. That's what I'm saying. So, and you're a millionaire, almost a multimillionaire. So I want you to increase your giving.
Starting point is 01:14:02 I don't care to what and I want you to increase your spending now I don't want you to be irresponsible if your 1.2 million is invested in mutual funds it should be producing about $10,000 a month in income you don't need that much income yeah how much income do you you're going to have 3,500 already coming in
Starting point is 01:14:27 in 2000 with a pension and so you're going to be a $5,500 coming in can you live on that comfortably? I'm living on that now, so, you know. All right, good. I mean, do you want to live on that, or do you want to spend more than that? I mean, both my sisters, you know, as I told you recently passed, we're going to do some things once I retired.
Starting point is 01:14:50 They already had. Now they're gone. You know, I guess I'll, you know, I don't know what I'm, I've got to start thinking about what I'm going to do when I retire as in hers. travel you know I don't I right I don't want to travel by myself but yes I can try I can travel um yeah I got to start thinking about this stuff and yes I will be giving away my money my no I don't mean I'm not saying all I'm saying is is that I want you instead of giving a hundred bucks away a month I want you give away a thousand a month yeah and uh and and and and just find somebody
Starting point is 01:15:26 that needs some groceries you know right and just because there's great joy in that. And then I want you to look up and I want you to say, I'm making $10,000 a month on my investments above what I need to live. What does that look like on spending? What are we going to spend that? Some of that on. I don't want you to spend it all. But here's the point. If you spend $15,000 a month for the rest of your life, including your pension income and your investment income, you will die with $1.2 million. You're okay. You did it.
Starting point is 01:16:08 Yeah. Okay? And if you get that math in your head, then it gives you permission not to be crazy. I don't want you to go spend $300,000 on a car. That's not what I'm saying. Okay. But I am saying $15,000 a month is way more than you ever thought about spending it. That blows your mind just saying that, doesn't it?
Starting point is 01:16:30 Yes, I can't imagine. Yeah, and I don't think you're going to do that. You're the chances of you overspending are zero. Now, what about this mortgage? Yeah, I'm worried about this mortgage. I want this mortgage to go away. That becomes a second part of the goal is we need to clear this debt because it's the most destabilizing thing in your life right now.
Starting point is 01:16:54 It's a big mortgage. And I don't really feel good about taking $500,000 out of your $1.2,000. paying it off today but I'm going to start working out of that 15,000 a month and work that mortgage down too okay because I'd like you to have no mortgage and and and and so increase I want you to build up your generosity muscle and your spending muscle up to and your debt reduction muscle those three things up to 15,000 a month once you start drawing down on the 1.2 so you sit down with your financial advisor and you start drawing the income off of the 1.2 to go with your pension and go with
Starting point is 01:17:36 your other stuff and you throw it in a checking account. Any part of you would just take like 200 of it and just kind of make a dent? I'd like to get the mortgage down ways and then just knock it off. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to make a front end dent. I'd make a back end. Probably. I just, she's, yeah, we've first got to get her enjoying the money a little bit. Yes. It's time for sure. So I think you've got a good person in your corner, whoever that is, counseling you. I like their advice. Good question, Sylvia, the chances of you overspending are almost zero. No chance we could get you in Congress. No matter what you want to do with your money, you need a budget. Start budgeting for free today.
Starting point is 01:18:30 With the Every Dollar app, the easiest way to budget, track your expenses and reach your goals faster. Go to Everydollar.com today. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fair Winds Credit Union Studios. It's Thanksgiving Eve here at Ramsey. So we are asking you what you're thankful for. And there's always something to be thankful for and stopping. And as the old saying says, count your blessings is not a bad idea. By the way, it's your entry to the show today.
Starting point is 01:19:23 If you want to get on, we're going to ask you what you're thankful for. That's how it works. Open phones at AAA 825-5-225. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality, number one bestselling author. My daughter is my co-host today. Noah is with us in Cincinnati. Hi, Noah. What are you thankful for?
Starting point is 01:19:41 Oh, gosh, too much. My family and friends and everything in between. How are you guys? Better than we deserve, sir. How can we help today? Well, I have been wondering for, gosh, a year or two now if I should buy a new car. my wife has a nice car it's probably worth about 20 grand it's kind of a family car um i drive a van for work and i drive um when i need to i have about a two thousand dollar car and there's
Starting point is 01:20:14 nothing wrong with it and i drive it all the time and i guess i'm i've just i haven't bought a new car because it feels kind of frivolous because i don't need it and i've been looking at them for for so long and I just am not sure if I should do it. How much money do you have, Noah? Well, I know what you're going to say. You're going to laugh at me. I've got probably about $540,000 between investments and in a brokerage account. Okay.
Starting point is 01:20:51 Why would I laugh at you? That's great. Well done. Yeah, I just, I guess because I'm just so hung up on buying a car. Oh, so we're going to say you have enough money. Do you have any debt? Yeah. No, just a house.
Starting point is 01:21:07 Okay, what are you all in your house? About $200. Okay. All right. I'd buy a $10,000 car and pay off your house. I thought you might say that. How about a $30,000 car? I don't care.
Starting point is 01:21:25 You got the money. Okay. I don't know why you want to go from a 300 to 30,000, but if you want to, I don't care. Yeah. And what's your household income, sir? About 175. Okay. And so the two cars together would be about 50, and that's way less than half your annual income.
Starting point is 01:21:46 And, yeah, there's nothing wrong with that. That fits. Pay cash for it and pay off your house. And so, yeah, you're not doing anything wrong, but I would move up in car just from a reliability standpoint. And, you know, it's just they don't make them like they used to. Thank God. New cars are, and the newer models are a lot nicer. I mean, I've got a 1960 Corvette rebuilt and, you know, and I've got a fairly new Corvette.
Starting point is 01:22:15 And the new one's a lot better, you know, so, yeah, I'd move up a little bit, you know. And the other one's kind of a cool antique, I mean, but it's not, you know, it's, yeah. The other one's a better ride. You'll, yeah. Enjoy it, Noah. Yeah, enjoy it. You're doing a good job. Have some fun this holiday season.
Starting point is 01:22:33 But it's just, you know, we're going to give you permission to have lived like no one else so that somehow making $1,000, what was $175,000 a year, you amassed 550,000. Now, let's do something smart with it. Now, if you said $5 million, I probably would have left, but I won't laugh. Half a million, Noah. That's not the laugh level. The laugh level has seven figures. But you can afford it, Noah, so do it.
Starting point is 01:23:00 Enjoy. I've worked hard. You've done it. You've done a great job. Saul's in Boston. Hey, Saul, what's up? Hi there. I'm very good.
Starting point is 01:23:08 I'm so excited to be in the phone with you guys. You too. What's up? Oh, by the way, what are you thankful for? Oh, I'm thankful for my friends. Yeah. I have a great group of friends that I'm super thankful for. Oh, I love that.
Starting point is 01:23:24 Very good. How can we help today? Yeah, so my husband is 25. I'm 26 years old, no children. Our household income is $110,000 a year. We are currently living on my income and saving his income, which is $4,000 a month. Next year we're planning to start a long journey of savings
Starting point is 01:23:43 to buy our first home cash. We made our minds that we don't want to owe a penny to anyone ever. And our goal is to save $500,000. We live in Massachusetts, so the real estate here is very expensive. We concluded that we will achieve that in the max of seven years. As long as I leave my current job, I have a master's degree, and I'm currently working with a career coach to get a higher salary. Additionally, while saving for the house, we're thinking of maxing out both of our rough IRAs every year so that we don't fall behind in our retirement goals and then save more aggressively afterwards.
Starting point is 01:24:23 But the reason why I'm calling is one of the biggest arguments in this journey is a house that is worth $500,000 now could very much be worth like $900,000 in seven years. So I just would love to hear your expertise and perspective on that. And do you have any recommendations on how to invest those savings so that they can grow between now and then. Okay. Well, the savings, if you're going to leave it alone three years or more, we would move a bunch of it towards something like an index fund into a good mutual fund, like an S&P 500, so that
Starting point is 01:25:03 it's growing a lot faster than a high-yield savings account. But if it's three years or under, and a portion of it, either way, I'm going to leave in high-yield savings so that you're earning some. But really the interest rate or the return on your money is not going to get you the house. It's your savings rate, the amount you put in that gets you the house. So if you make 3% or you make 10%, it's not going to be that big a difference in a short period of time, like 3 to 5 years before you get a house. The second thing is that life never works on a straight line. And what you've done is you have taken the current life that you have, the snapshot of today,
Starting point is 01:25:43 freeze frame and you projected that out and life doesn't work that way okay 100% of the time five years from today your income is going to be different than it is today usually it's going to be more yeah okay and we don't know what exactly but typically on a career track like you guys are on at your age your career your income is going to hockey stick it's going to go on a curve upward and that's going to impact the five to seven year and probably turn it into a three to a four year and that changes the discussion on how much houses will have gone up in value I don't borrow money for anything ever so it doesn't matter to me what they go up I simply cannot buy until I have the money now with one thing on this show that we there's only one
Starting point is 01:26:40 thing on this show that we that I don't do personally that I tell other people they can do and that's take out a small mortgage on a 15 year fixed and pay it off as soon as possible. I won't do that, but I don't yell at you for that one thing. I don't borrow on anything else and I will yell at you for borrowing on other things because it's dumb. Okay? But if you, if you saved up half of this money and you bought in two years, that would truncate even more of the weight and the increase in value during that time.
Starting point is 01:27:15 Yeah. Yeah. I think it's a good plan sold, but I would be, yes, I would still be investing 15%, even if that's more than maxing out the Roths during this plan. I would be saving in retirement. Yeah. I think you got too long. If you're going to be more than three years, you need to be maxing.
Starting point is 01:27:32 You need to be putting your 15% baby step four aside. our question of the day is brought to you by why refi defaulted private student loans don't define you and they don't have control of your future why refi helps you start fresh with low fixed rate refinancing made for real people go to why refi.com slash Ramsey. That's the letter, y-R-E-F-Y.com slash Ramsey, not in all states. Today's question comes from Vince in North Dakota. I have followed your principles for years and do not believe in debt personally or in business.
Starting point is 01:28:24 My career has been doing HVAC and plumbing for an employer who has always pushed financing. I recently opened my own business and I don't want to add to the slavery of debt, but I also don't want to lose out on jobs because I refuse to play that game. We charge a fair rates, but I know that I'm running the numbers myself
Starting point is 01:28:47 and I see how expensive it is to grow a real business. How do I compete in this industry without resorting to pushing debt on my customers? There's plenty of heat in there guys that run huge businesses without being pushing debt. Some of them just to let their, you know, the financing, the customer get their own financing. A lot of people put it on a credit card.
Starting point is 01:29:09 or they run over at the bank and borrow the money. But the heat and air company doesn't have to furnish the financing to be successful. You know, now, if you're going to work a, you know, a lower end market, you're probably going to struggle because the people you're competing against there are probably signing up the thing. And, you know, for instance, on the car lot, okay? The car dealers today on new cars make more money profit per car. on the financing package than they do on the sale of the car. And that could be true of some heat and air companies that are pushing financing hard,
Starting point is 01:29:52 that they're selling the paper or they're getting paid a kick from the finance company for pushing the paper. And they're making as much on that as they are on the actual heat and air unit. But that's not normal in the industry. you know your father-in-law is in the heat and air business yeah and your brother-in-law with him and they don't they don't push financing and they make a really good living and we know a bunch of other people in the business over the years and so but I do know some people that are quote more retail and um you can kind of tell by their advertising when you hear their ads or you see their ads
Starting point is 01:30:30 you kind of can tell oh they're going to want me to finance this because they're going to charge a lot you And so, you know, I think you provide a fair rate. Some customers are going to finance, and I wouldn't not do business with them because they chose to go pay for it the way they wanted to pay for it. That's not your obligation. Yeah, yeah. But in terms of, you know, you're in the heat and air business. You're not in the banking business. As long as you stay there, you're going to be okay.
Starting point is 01:30:56 And know that the product you're selling is expensive. I mean, like that's one of the biggest expenses. So you can't be shocked if people don't have the cash. cash because 40% of Americans can't even cover a $400 emergency. So you are in an industry that's expensive. So it's, yeah, you shouldn't be shocked if a lot of people use it, you know. I think the difference is where you get the icky factor in the heat and air world is where they think they're in the banking business, where they're peddling it hard.
Starting point is 01:31:24 And your old employer was one of those. Yeah, that's where you get the ick factor, okay? So if it's somewhere around your business or in your business. So for instance, I talked to a guy the other day. he owns two pizza locations he makes pizzas restaurants and he said am i doing something wrong by taking credit cards for the pizza and i'm like good lord no you know you're it's not now would dave rant would ramsie solutions be doing something wrong to take credit cards yeah because we're telling people actively like our brand is telling people not to have a credit card okay so if
Starting point is 01:31:59 you came into our bookstore and used a credit card and we let you do that that would be hypocritical on our part because it's straight up unethical based on our advice. It's hypocritical. But now when you're in the pizza business, I'm in the get out of debt business. I'm not the pizza. You're in the pizza business. If you take credit cards at your pizza restaurant, it's the same machine you use a debit card on.
Starting point is 01:32:20 And so either way, you're going to be paying your merchant fees on both of them. It lowers your profits. It would be weird if you were a diet company, but then you were selling ice cream as they're walking out the door. That feels hypocritical, right? I mean, like, you know, so I mean, it's, but that's not your industry. So, yeah. Yeah, I mean, if you have a health food store and, you know, but you sell snickers, you know, I mean, that's a problem, you know, I mean, but that's the thing you're looking for on the ethics side of things.
Starting point is 01:32:46 So I would have it available or have a local, you know, hey, the bank, this credit union over here finances for some people and you can call George over there and Henry over there, they'll do it. And, you know, I'd have that available if I were you, but I wouldn't be peddling it. that's the difference you know i'd say this is how some people do it they put it on a credit card some people do this some people i fix it and just get it to where it limps along so they can save up the money and then i come back next year and put in the new unit um and sometimes we do that with people and those people are going to remember you as the person who helped them with their heating and air not who got them into debt and so that that's you know you're fine i think you know just just remember what business you're in that's what screws
Starting point is 01:33:31 up. I mean, like, Victoria's Secret forgot they were in the small underwear business. You know, they make more money on their credit card lines than they do on the small underwear, okay? And so the girls that work in Victoria's Secret, if you don't sell a certain number of credit cards per shift, regardless of how much small underwear you sell, you don't get to keep your job because they got in the credit card business. It used to be like that. I don't know how it is now. Well, I mean. But that used to be a big. That was a big deal. Yes. And so there's all these companies that confused seers got in that business and then they went bankrupt yeah pennies got in that business and then they went bankrupt and so you just see the stuff they get confused about what business they're
Starting point is 01:34:11 in be in the business you're in and if there's financing around it so what unless you're teaching people like we are not to go into that and then that would be the you know the diet place selling ice cream as rachel said that's true all right up next is going to be dave in san antonio hey dave what's up Hey, how are you? Better than I deserve. How can I help? Well, I am currently living in South Texas. My family and I have a wife, three, two, well, I was two, now three kids looking after my nephew.
Starting point is 01:34:44 We would like to move to Nashville, and I want to do that as soon as financially feasible. I have two jobs at the moment. I was active duty in Marine Corps for 14 years. I still do that as a reservist that do you want net or gross figures typically a month? Gross.
Starting point is 01:35:06 Gross. The military is grossing me about where to go. Sorry, get back to me in a second. It's around a five grand or so. And then I also fly for an airline which would make it very convenient for me to be your neighbor in Franklin.
Starting point is 01:35:26 That's grossing me. about just under 21 a month. Oh, I'm sorry, there it is. They're military, about 4,400, and airline about 21,000. Okay. So why do you need to, what are you waiting on to move if you want to move? Well, unfortunately, the military thing that I do down in South Texas is very convenient because I do that.
Starting point is 01:35:55 Oh, I thought it was military retirement. I'm sorry. Okay. No, no, no. It's actually a side hustle. Okay,
Starting point is 01:36:02 so you go from $25,000 to $21,000 income if you moved without the military thing. Yeah, roughly. But it also makes the 20-year retirement for the military a lot harder to get because, you know, a full schedule for me flying for the airline is working about 12 days a month, which is great. I have great flexibility. I can pick up extra. I also have to fly on base about five days a month.
Starting point is 01:36:33 Now, that's easy. Take the kids to school, go fly on base, and then I'm done by like two. So that part's simple. If I were in Nashville, that's two legs on a plane. So why would you want to move to Nashville? South Texas is not a place we want to be for the next 30 years. We're in early 40s, and we'd like to... How much longer do you have to do the military?
Starting point is 01:36:57 gig two and a half years do that and then move that's kind of we're thinking uh and a bigger question that i've heard you have different had opinions on as far as building or buying up in the tennessee within i'd probably just buy you got enough going on without getting in the building business building a house is a lot of work for the consumer The All right. dollar is here, and now it's way more than just our world-class budgeting app. A ton of advanced features to lead you through the baby steps, teach you the Ramsey way while you're simply doing the budget.
Starting point is 01:38:10 So it's pretty much like taking you through Financial Peace University in the app. It's pretty cool. We're going to teach you everything you need to do while you're doing this. The average person finds thousands of dollars in margin in just the first 15 minutes. Start every dollar for free. Today, get it in the app store, or online. on Google Play. It's the eve of Thanksgiving.
Starting point is 01:38:30 What are you thankful for, Jenny in Savannah? Yes, hi. Yay, so I did to connect with y'all. You too? What are you thankful for today? Yes, very thankful for my family, my two daughters, and my help. Cool. Good for you.
Starting point is 01:38:45 A lot more. How can we help? Okay, so I am 54 years old. I have $75,000 in legal fees, about $12,000 in credit card. debt. I have two car payments that total about $28,000. And I make $86,000, about $86,000 a year. I'm paying rent for $2,300 a month. The reason why I'm in such horrible financial is because I went through a divorce in 2016, and my ex-husband is an attorney. And so, like, every time I wanted to try to get child support, I had to go back to court. So it's been going on for 10 years.
Starting point is 01:39:25 Um, so my question is, um, how old are the kids now? Sure. Okay. So I have, um, one's a senior in high school and then the other one's a junior in high school. Um, so my question is, um, I have them on scholarship that helped me, you know, pay off all my debt, but that would put my kids about 30 minutes away from their school and it's kind of a rural, it's a very rural town where he lives.
Starting point is 01:39:48 And, um, so I'm wondering, you know, should I stick it out for another year for, until, you know, my younger one finishes high school and then move in or should I just try to move in now just because it's my rent is really high. It's $2,300 a month. Yeah, for Savannah, Georgia, that's really high. Yeah, yeah. So, okay. So you're kind of looking at your numbers.
Starting point is 01:40:15 You don't have a lot of margins, so you're kind of spinning your wheels right now making huge progress because of all these different. You high rent, you've got all these debts. looming over you and so forth. What are the boys' plans as they come out of school? Yeah, two daughters. Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know why I thought they were sons.
Starting point is 01:40:35 I apologize. No, that's okay. No. So, okay, so I have my oldest daughter just got into, well, she wants to go to Northwestern. She applied early decision for Northwestern, but she got into University of Georgia and the honors program because she would qualify for the Zelle Miller Scholarship and the Hope Scholarship would be practically free. the younger one, you know, they both definitely are set on college,
Starting point is 01:40:59 but the in-state tuition for Georgia is absolutely amazing. But my ex-husband is, he lives in Chicago, and he's, you know, just kind of a bug in their ear, and I'm going to be responsible for half of their tuition. No, we're not going to Northwestern. You don't have the money to send a kid to Northwestern. Mm-hmm. Sorry. Yeah, I agree.
Starting point is 01:41:23 I've been trying to talk. I don't have to talk her out of it. The answer is no. Mm-hmm. I'm a broke single mom. If your freaking father wants to pay for this, we'll talk about it. Mm-hmm. But he ain't paying for nothing.
Starting point is 01:41:38 No. And so you're going to Georgia, kid. Now, you can couch that a little nicer if you want, but that's the bottom-line message. Go dogs. Uh-huh. They're playing football. I mean, it's life's good. As a ball fan, but that's what I want for her, which hurts my heart a little.
Starting point is 01:41:53 but yeah yeah in state tuition i mean i'll never forget rachel having two people come off the stage and there were two hundred thousand dollars both of them in debt getting married and saying they wanted to be missionaries at northwestern you were speaking it's not the well-known northwestern it was one outside of minneapolis oh excuse me okay i just said northwestern but it was still they both come off the stage making 200 grand getting married they got 400 grand in debt and sociology and they want to be missionaries so no she's not going to some Northwestern. She can't afford it.
Starting point is 01:42:26 Yeah. Her mother's broke. Well, she says, I don't care. I'll take out all the way. No, I care. I am not, I am not participating in this. I'm your mother. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:42:36 This is your destruction. No. Yeah. This is a thousand percent agree. It's 100% stupid. Not even 99. It's 100% stupid. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:42:45 Okay. So should Jenny move back home? Yeah. No. I mean, you know, whether you move now or when do you want to start making progress and um well i'm up every night about like just sweating over all the the debt a half and um you know i've been working three jobs i'm unsure what are the car loans jenny who's are they you said we had two different ones yeah so those are two those are both ours like we have three
Starting point is 01:43:11 drivers and we had one car and then i i was whatever you said earlier about the the car lane i went in there with five thousand dollars and somehow got sucked into financing it so um i have to yeah we have What are the two car loans? Break them down. There's an $18,000 for a Hyundai, Kona, which is probably worth way less than that. And then there's a, there's about a, let's see, I think it's about $10,000 for a Hyundai, Sanefay that's got $125,000 miles on it. And that's, that's the one you got nailed on to the kids. Is one of them the girls?
Starting point is 01:43:49 Yeah, the second one is the girls. Is dad helping at all? No. No, I don't get any child support. I don't get anything. He got the marital home. He's an attorney, so he really knew what he is doing. He would just file for those walks.
Starting point is 01:44:04 So here's the thing. It scares me that you did a bad car deal for your daughter, that you're going to do a bad college deal for your daughter. So please remember the car deal. When you couldn't look at her and say no, right this time you've got to say no you're going to bankrupt your kid she's going to spend the next 15 years of her life pissed off at you because you don't stand your ground and not let her go to a college she cannot afford and george is a great school georgia's fabulous great and georgia
Starting point is 01:44:41 tech too because she's applauded there as well these are both these are both world-class academic institutions i don't care if they're in state tuition or not they really are they're incredible I would hire her to work at Ramsey in a heartbeat more graduating from their debt-free than graduating from Northwestern with $200,000 because she's stupid. I don't want to hire that. As an employer, I'm serious. We look at somebody and go, she's not stupid, she's making stupid decisions. That's just dumb, okay, don't do it.
Starting point is 01:45:14 I don't want to leave this call unclear. Okay, so now, then this, yeah, if you want to go ahead and move to dad, The deal is you just got to drive 30 minutes. Is that right? Yeah, it'll be 30 minutes, and so they'll be sad that they're not near, like, I'm like, yeah, but it's saving me $2,300 a month, and he's getting older, and he really is like asking. You could probably help him. I mean, 90 years old.
Starting point is 01:45:40 Yeah, for sure. Yeah, we've done. I, I'm sorry that these children have hard times, that they have to go to an in-state school and drive 30 minutes to school, but there's. mother is a single mom who's deeply in debt because of a nasty divorce. And such is life. Yeah. They will survive these 1% problems.
Starting point is 01:46:03 Exactly. Seriously. Okay. And Jenny, and it's probably a level of guilt on your end as a mom. Yeah. Because of the divorce and everything that you're trying to provide a great life for them. Right. Your motivation is totally understandable, totally understandable.
Starting point is 01:46:19 But you can't let the guilt over. override really bad financial decisions. When emotions get caught up, that's what we find. When people are fearful, guilt, shame, all of it, they end up making bad financial decisions. So don't let a level of mom guilt of what they've gone through with the divorce continue. What you think in the moment is a good decision for them because it makes them happy ends up being a bad decision long term for them. And so, and for you. How far do you drive to work?
Starting point is 01:46:49 It's about 20 minutes. 25 minutes Yeah It's the same difference Kind of like 30 minutes Yeah Like you drive that far to work They can drive that far to school
Starting point is 01:46:58 Wham Seriously You're gonna have to do some smart things For your family honey Even if it's short term It creates a little drama or pain I love you I appreciate you
Starting point is 01:47:10 You're stronger than you think you are Hold the ground girl Thank you. Our scripture of the day is Proverbs 1921. Many plans are in a man's heart, but the counsel of the Lord will stand. Thomas Edison said, just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless. Woo. There's interesting.
Starting point is 01:48:00 Okay. So let's go back for a second. Rachel, when we were doing the documentary several years ago called Borrowed Future, which, by the way, you can still watch. It's award-winning on YouTube. It's free. And it's fabulous on the student loan crisis. And one of the things that you said when we were putting all of that together, you and I were taking one of those calls on the air,
Starting point is 01:48:28 was that we don't have a student loan crisis. We have a parenting crisis. You remember that? Yes. We'd say that in live events. Yeah. Yeah, well, it's. And we always kind of, you know,
Starting point is 01:48:42 3,000 people in the audience, they kind of go, ooh, when you say that, right? It's like a slap. Well, it is because I think there is a level of wisdom as parents that there are certain things you see that are going to harm your kids. And when they're 18, their frontal part of their brain isn't even formed of how to make cause and effect decisions, right? And so you have to be able to step in on really big things in your kids' lives to be able to speak the truth. And I think sometimes you draw a line in the sand and it's black and white. And it feels harsh at times. And what you have to realize is you are loving your kids even when it's a hard decision. And even when there's emotion and they may get mad, they may get frustrated. But what you have to
Starting point is 01:49:33 remember is they're 18. They don't understand. They don't understand the life that you have lived. They don't understand what they're about to do is about to put them financially in a hardship for years and years and years where a lot of people regret it. So many people that come out with high student loan debt and they're just, you know, got their MBA and they're just trying to find a job. And they look back and they realize, oh my gosh, I don't even know if the ROI was right on this, right? So whether it is a master's or advanced degree or even an undergrad a degree at a school that is a private university that you could literally get a fourth, you could pay a fourth of what you got for the exact same degree somewhere else.
Starting point is 01:50:19 An eighth. Yeah. So it's just, it's a conversation about not only the future of them, but also just make smart financial decisions now, the ROI on what it is. And so, yeah, college is one of those. So you can choose as a parent to build your influence through. throughout your child's life so that you can persuasively lead them away from a college choice that causes student loan debt, little on you participating by a parent plus loan. And if that won't
Starting point is 01:50:49 and then you don't participate, you don't borrow money. We're borrowing money is off the table and we're going to go to a school we can pay cash for and we're going to go to a school that gives us a return on investment for the education. Okay. In other words, Is the extra cost worth it in a sense that you make more or have a higher probability of success due to that? That's the return on investment. It's not, I've always dreamed, and my daddy wanted me to, and it's a pretty town, and oh, my God, the stupid stuff I have heard here on the air on college choice. The number one reason for student loan debt is choosing to go to a school that you can't afford. It's not choosing an education.
Starting point is 01:51:42 It's choosing a school that you can't afford. So we just had this example. This young lady is an honor student. She can go to Georgia, the University of Georgia, fabulous Southeast school, business school is strong. She can go there and go for free with the Georgia scholarships that are available and with the fact that she's stinking honor student and walking in there. They're going to, you know, and she can go virtually free to, you know, and she can go virtually free to, you know one of the top schools in the nation or she can go to a name brand school that's more expensive that's yeah yeah okay now let me tell you how what the data says there's zero
Starting point is 01:52:21 credible research that says where you went to school causes your success zero none none you cannot find any data that says Vanderbilt and Harvard over Georgia. Northwestern over Georgia causes success. No data. There's no one has ever been able to do it. Find a credible study on that. It doesn't exist. It's bull crap in the marketing and in the aristocratic sticking my nose in the air so my upper lip gets sunburned about where my stinking kid goes to college. It's all it is. It's the parent's ego, a lot of it. It's parents ego. And it's the ego of the individual going, saying, I went there. But the actual data says 78% of the Fortune 500 presidents on the publicly traded big board
Starting point is 01:53:12 went to state schools, eight out of ten, state schools. So there's actually data that says going to a state school has a higher probability of leading a Fortune 500 company than going to a muckety-muck with a name. So the biggest pushback I'm hearing now is it's the people. that you get to meet. I've heard that my whole life. And so far, so far those people have not caused anyone to be successful.
Starting point is 01:53:40 We can't find any research that says that. Success comes from grit, perseverance, character, integrity, and knowledge base, not hobnobbing with a bunch of snobs. That is book my fraternity brothers
Starting point is 01:53:56 caused me to be successful. Horse crap. It didn't happen ever on this century, ever once. never but these people all act like this because they have to rationalize these stupid dollars they paid for this so vanderbilt right now is 80,000 dollars a year to go to school university of Tennessee is 12,000 dollars a year to go to school I went to the university of Tennessee and people that went to vanderbilt work for me now figure that one out this is just this is the way
Starting point is 01:54:27 the life works out here boys and girls so in turn in other words I got enough knowledge base at the wonderful Haslam School of Business at the University of Tennessee, I got enough knowledge base to build a $300 million company and my character and my grit and God's blessings and the stuff we've all been through
Starting point is 01:54:45 to get here, okay? And to be honest, the education you got was probably a fraction of you actually succeeding. It is the perseverance. It is the hard work. It's the never give up. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:54:56 It's those things. The education, I use accounting every day. I use statistics every day. on the air with you people. And I learned that academically there. Yes, yes, yes. So it is an actual education that has value, yes. But where I went to school, the number of times someone came up to me and goes,
Starting point is 01:55:12 here's a million dollars because you went to UT is zero. It's quite the other way around. UT says, could we have a million dollars? That's exactly what it is. I mean, this is, y'all, this is where we get our problem from. And as parents, you need to speak into this and not participate in all this mythology. love your children enough to give them a big nope nope nope you're not doing that if you do that you're not taking this car that's got my name on it if you do that you're not taking a dime of my
Starting point is 01:55:43 money you are on your own if you're going to go live in the land of stupid i'm going to wave at you from over here i love you and i'll watch you wreck your life but i will not help you wreck your life and i will do everything i can to talk you out of it and to stand in your way my child tells me where they're going to school. My kid didn't tell me nothing with my money. I told them stuff. And Rachel can attest to that. We had discussions and we talked persuasively and I talked to adult to adult until they
Starting point is 01:56:13 weren't acting like an adult. And then I just told them what we're doing. And that, oh, you can't do. Yeah, by God, you can do that. Tell your counselor when you're 30, but you're not going to be in student loan debt. Because your dad's a butthole. Great. That's fine.
Starting point is 01:56:26 But you're not going to afford the therapist because you don't have loans. Well, I mean, that's it. You can afford one because you don't have student loan debt. But, you know, this is out of control, you guys. Yes. And again, this is on the borrowing side. If you have $5 million, you want to send your kids somewhere, that's fine. But don't do it on the basis of it's going to cause them to be successful.
Starting point is 01:56:45 Oh, totally. Oh, 100%. That's mythology. Yes, 100%. It's absolute mythology. The reason I'm successful is I went to MIT. It said no one ever. Really?
Starting point is 01:56:57 Seriously. well possible exception of Trump but anyway there you go that was fun that was a fun little rant good so we need a day well happy Thanksgiving everyone everyone was worried about you you're in good health good spirits you've seen it here everything's good Thanksgiving that puts this hour of the ramses show and the books we'll be back with you before you know it in the meantime remember there's ultimately only one way to financial peace and that's to walk daily with the prince of peace christ jesus No matter what you want to do with your money, you need a budget.
Starting point is 01:57:36 Start budgeting for free today with the Every Dollar app, the easiest way to budget. Track your expenses and reach your goals faster. Go to Everydollar.com today.

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