The Ramsey Show - App - The Harsh Reality of Childcare Costs (Hour 2)

Episode Date: March 28, 2024

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us, America. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality number one bestselling author, is my co-host today, and we're happy to talk to you, America, about your life and your money. So when I wrote the first book I wrote, Financial Peace, in 1994, raise your hand if you weren't born yet. Okay.

They did in the lobby. Yeah. When I wrote that book, I proposed a concept in our seminars that we were doing in those days. And it was a different world in 1994. Sure, yeah. The 90s are back a little bit. I proposed a concept and I got so much. One of the first times I got just showered in hate.

Oh, I can't wait. It was fabulous. And so the concept was this. And I don't remember the exact numbers, but they were a whole lot lower than they are today. So I'll make up some numbers that would be similar to what they probably were. job she has two kids and daycare is a thousand dollars a month and she buys clothing professional clothing to go to that job and she dry cleans the professional because in the 90s you were wearing suits to go to that job for a lot of well they weren't yeah they weren't wearing sweatpants to work in those days or your pajamas um and so it's a different world like i said and if she were and if because she was working she didn't prepare meals from scratch at home because time and fatigue the family would go

out to eat more and they would spend from scratch but just meaning like well spend more on because pre-prepared things or going out to eat yeah because of fatigue ordering pizza because i'm tired i don't feel like cooking or the husband is choosing not to cook yes well whatever i'm just saying and so uh 1994 i know this is the night just hang with me here but uh and i propose that if you add all of these things up making twenty eight thousand dollars a year paying a thousand dollars a month for child care these other things added in after taxes come out and gasoline to drive to said job and wear and tear on the car to drive to said job when you take all of those things out she's probably losing money working

and it might be cheaper net net net net net to stay home with the kids if she wants to I didn't say she should be at home barefoot and pregnant I did not say that I said if she chooses to and wants to be at home now people said I said a lot of things I didn't say but that's exactly what I said but even on the premise that she can't afford she's not making enough to justify working. Yes, or he's not making, yes. With the expenses at that time. And I caught hell for suggesting that net of daycare, net of all these other expenses, she might not be making anything.

Because I did some math. And dad blame, if I didn't get blamed for the other side of that, not that, but the other way of not understanding the cost of daycare and that you can't afford to work because of the cost of daycare. The stinking Wall Street Journal, some woman writes an article trashing me. Recently, not in 94. No, just the other day. Just the other day.

I said on the air that day women that they can't that that daycare is is ridiculous and so you just need to shut up and go to work i didn't say that at all i've said quite the opposite since 1990 freaking four and i get i don't if you're gonna hate me hate me for the right thing okay if you're gonna bitch about something dave said pick out something he actually said. Okay. But I think they clipped. I think there was a clip of you saying that's a ridiculous amount to pay for child care. And they clipped that not knowing the whole call.

Well, of course. And that's because it's the freaking media. I know. But that's specific. And some idiot on TikTok. Yes. That specific guy was paying. But he was paying like $ eight thousand dollars for one kid yeah

that is dumb well i don't yes average right now yes average right now is sixteen thousand yes okay so depending on where you are if you're in new york city in manhattan that is going to look different that guy was calling in he was trying to put his kid i don't remember i don't remember i'm just telling no i don't know it was gucci daycare he was signing up for i don't remember. I'm just telling. No, I don't know. It was Gucci Daycare he was signing up for. I don't know. His upper lip was sunburned because his nose was in the air. We don't know that. Yes, I do. No, we don't.

No, we don't. But I am not. I'm on quite the other side of what I got blamed for, which is what I'm upset for. I did not. I mean, all I'm talking about that particular instance, it's like somebody calling up and going, I'm paying $ six thousand dollars a year for my child to attend a private elementary school and i make sixty thousand dollars a year what do you think of that i think you're a moron that's what i think of that okay you can't do math your kids shouldn't be in a school that fancy okay because you're just stuck up that's all that is and that's what this guy was it had nothing to do with the

actual cost of daycare i think i think the thing is it is such a it's such a hard subject because unlike 94 you fast forward to today where it is it's it's like child care it's i think it's ludicrous 30 to almost 40 percent in some areas since like 2019 it's going up faster than tuition i i know that yeah for working moms and so and parents no it's not different than 94 so the exact same thing is true some people now with the cost of daycare aren't making money that's right after they i totally agree so i'm still saying the same thing yes no i know i know now i'm getting hated for saying the other thing that i didn't say i know but. But I think, too, the conversation of a household income, because so many families are dual

income. And a lot of families are dual income and make on average, right, like in that 60, 70 range per year. Yep. And then in order to pay the mortgage and have the food. I mean, like there is a. And these days, mama might be making more than daddy. A hundred percent.

That's not unusual at all yeah that's the other option is that that the that the spouse who's making more goes home i don't care that's not the point it's a math thing is all i'm looking at and the problem is though again people are getting to this place now because it's risen so quickly that it is hard that they're having to look now at exactly what you're saying at the options of like oh my gosh and i've known some moms that they're like i gotta go home like i have three kids under the age of five and we can't afford it literally can't afford it or you make you make forty thousand dollars a year today and you have three kids on the age of five in daycare you're not making money i know that's that 1994 example in 24 dollars right Right, right. $20, $24. I know, I know.

And there's some other ways you can look at it. I mean, there's creative options. You've got to find an alternative child care situation if you're going to work in that situation. Yes, yes. Because you're not actually making money. Yep. You're working and going backwards. And what's hard is for the single mom, too, who doesn't.

Oh, it's almost impossible. Yeah, who almost doesn't even have that option. But here's the other thing. $16,000 is the average nationally. This includes expensive markets, inexpensive markets. Yes, yes. And it includes expensive daycares and inexpensive daycares. And so there's a lot of ways to skin the cat.

There's a lot of ways to take care of the kids. But it is a valid thing to sit and look at it as a family and make and make a call and the values yes but people don't use they get emotional because it's a the issue is their children and their brains melt down yeah and they quit doing math because as a mom with little kids who works you go you go through some of these places you're like i don't want to i don't feel comfortable sending my kid here too right so don't there's i know i know but it's the idea that it's's a, it's a hard subject for a lot of people. It is. Hey, you guys, health insurance costs are only moving one way and that way isn't

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It is high and it is hard. The trick is to not be irrational and justify stupid numbers because you love your children. Love of your children does not make math go away. Math still will roost. It'll still come home. So we want to help you face this high cost. And if you go to RamseySolutions.com, we have a blog there called 13 Ways to Afford the High Cost of Child Care.

Almost like everyone at Ramsey knows that child care is high. Just in case some of you on TikTok weren't listening, we're aware that child care cost is high, but that does not mean that you suddenly get a pass on math the cost of real estate in manhattan is high but some of you can't afford to live there because of math it's that simple the cost of real estate in tokyo is high and some of you can't afford to live there because of math so we'll help you with this and but i'm not going to help you with denial or the system is broken so i'm going to ignore math no that's not what you we're not going to go down that alley no but there are some there are some

different ways creative ways to kind of look at it and one of the options is what we talked about in the last segment was maybe one one uh parent decides to stay home right like maybe it gets to a point that's a valid option yeah so here's the interesting thing i'll add one more thing i said we weren't going to extend the rant but now we are okay there are parents out there right now uh with this thing you and i have talked about this at length mom guilt if you work you're guilty because you're not home if you're home you feel guilty because you're not working moms can't win yep they got guilt either way society and heaps on them they help heap it on themselves if i'm at work i feel guilty because i'm not home with the kids if i'm at home with the kids i feel guilty because i'm not using my degree and i'm not

out making money and so you just can't get away from it. Guys don't struggle from this, by and large. Yeah, the mom guilt is a very real thing. So in the midst of that statement, there are ladies who really would prefer to be at home with their children and have never sat down and done the math that says you should be. And so this sets you free. Because stay-at-home moms. I want to set you free if that's you

yes if you if you're a professional lady rachel's in the workplace my other daughter works if you're a professional lady in the workplace i'm not trying we're not trying to say you should go home or you're not a good mom we're not saying that at all we're saying if that's your choice to be at home but you feel like you should the family needs money for working and yet you're not netting anything, this math is going to give you permission to go home. Yes, there's a value, a dollar value for stay-at-home moms, the amount of work that they do.

No question. For sure. Ashley in Savannah, Georgia. Hi, Ashley. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, y'all. Hey, what's up? Well, to continue off of what y'all are talking about how do my husband and i pay off

debt rebuild our savings and potentially have another baby while living in this world where expenses keep increasing like daycare and rent what do y'all make what's household income we both make 80 000 okay so you make 160 yeah you make 160 000 well our joint well that would be how much debt do you guys have um so i have so we are renting at 2300 um and then obviously like power and all that stuff how much do you own your cars just debt yeah we have we have no car notes car loans, car loans. My car is paid off, but she is reaching 200,000 miles, and my husband has an old Blazer that we just can't rely on.

Do you have any debt? What debt do you guys have? So I have two credit cards. One is $3,700 that I'm making minimum payments on. Unfortunately, one was charged off recently, my other card, which is about $15,000, and I'm pretty sure there's some medical debt floating around. How long have you all been making $160,000 and overspending?

The $160,000 just happened this year. What were you making in the other years? Well, COVID really rocked us. A 60-day furlough turned into over this year. What were you making in the other years? Uh, well, COVID really rocked us. A 60 day furlough turned into over a year. Um, and then I took a job for 50,000, um, and I just got back up to 80. What was your husband making? Um, he's been slowly, uh, progressing as well. So, um, probably about 60 and just got to 80 as well. Okay, so you're around that 100 mark for a while. So here's what's happened, okay?

You went through a downturn in your incomes, and you slowly progressed back to and beyond where you were before, and faster than your income went up, your spending went up. Because you didn't give me anywhere. Nothing you've given me so far tells us where $160,000 is going. I have no idea why you should be this broke. How in the world do you have a $3,000 credit card charged off making $160,000 means you're out of control, disorganized, and chaotic in your house.

So the credit card, I haven't put anything on a credit card in years. This is like really direct. Yeah, but why didn't you just pay it off? You make $160,000. It's $3,000. Because you didn't have any money because all your money is going to restaurants and trips you can't afford. We're not eating out. We're not going on trips. i'm not getting my meals done i haven't got my hair seriously where's your money going seriously where's all your money going then if you're in

control and you have a budget laid out where's your 160 000 going because it's not going to rent you don't have that much rent it's not going to rent? It's not going to debt. It's $2,300, she told us. Your rent's low. You don't have any debt. Where's your money going? All of our money goes to bills. What bills? You don't have any bills. This is hilarious. Yeah, what bills do you have?

Don't yell at her. What bills do you have? Don't yell at her. What bills do you have? Hello? For help. I'm sorry, what bills do you have? All of our bills combined are $4,000 a month. Okay, that's $2,300 for rent. What's the other $1,700?

$1,250 for daycare, which keeps going up year over year. Yeah, it does. Okay. And then power, electricity, all the basic minimum. Okay. So did you say $4,000 a month? Did I hear you right? Correct.

That's $48,000 a year. And then plus child care. No, no, no. That includes child care. Did it? The $4,000 included child care? It's $1,250. $1,250 for child care. So that's $ child care did it the four thousand is twelve hundred and fifty dollars twelve hundred fifty dollars for child care so that's forty eight thousand dollars out

of 160 so somewhere i'm still missing a hundred and two thousand dollars taxes okay somewhere i'm still missing almost a hundred thousand dollars that's what i'm talking about this is recent and then any money that we have left over is going into the snowball method how much is left over per month that you guys have about 500 i'm sorry 500 we're just dumping that into savings 500 okay you're something's really really really really off in your math. Because you gave me $48,000 worth of debt. $500 is $6,000. That's $54,000 out of $160,000. I'm still over $100,000 that's missing, not counting taxes.

You following this? Are you looking at a yearly number? Yeah, I am. Like monthly. I am. $500 a month is $6,000 a year. Hold on. Ashley, how much hits your checking account every month, income-wise, after taxes? What are you guys bringing home now?

I get $1,800 every two weeks. And what about him? That's around the same thing as well. Okay. That's not $160,000 a year. Before taxes. Yeah. How much you got?

$6,000. You got money going in your 401k? No. Okay. You have way too much withholding. Maybe through taxes. Okay. I'll tell you what. Hold on.

Here's what we're going to do. I can't break this because I can't break her. So I'm going to hook you up with one of our financial counselors, actually, who can sit down and calmly go through this and try to explain it to you. Because I can't. Nothing you're saying makes sense. Well, 60,000, yeah. These numbers are 50, $60,000 off. She's just so far off, it's unbelievable.

And so there's something else going on with your math here. I don't know where your money's going. You don't know where your money's going. All you've figured out is that it's not working. And so you guys have got to sit down because $160,000 a year is not $1,800 every two weeks. It comes to. $60,000 a year is not $1,800 every two weeks. Times two.

Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Our event season is in full swing. We have three events coming up where you can experience the Ramsey teachings live and in person with thousands of people just like you. Our next one is the Total Money Makeover weekend event. Rachel and me, Dr. John Deloney, Ken Coleman, Jade, George, all of us will be speaking at this two-day ultimate motivator event to get fired up and wired up to live the life you've always wanted. Tell every dollar what to do. Make every dollar behave and learn to win with money. Get out of debt. Become wealthy. Be outrageously generous. We're going to show you how to do every bit of it May 10th and 11th here on our campus. We're already half sold out,

so if you want to come, you need to get your tickets immediately. Then on May 21st and 22nd, I'm going to be doing a virtual event with George Camel helping me as we unpack not only the basics of investing, but the Dave Ramsey's investing essentials, something I've never done before. I'm going to open my playbook, my personal playbook on real estate. I own several hundred million dollars worth, and I'll show you what I've done and how I've done it. And it's not a TikTok video.

It's not easy, but I can show you how to really do it. I've actually done it. It's not a theory for me. I not easy, but I can show you how to really do it. I've actually done it. It's not a theory for me. I don't live in my mother's basement. So we're going to walk this through for you. Then Rachel and Dr. John Deloney will be doing the Money in Marriage Getaway October 24th and 26th, through the 26th, that is, here on our campus as well spend a weekend away with your spouse in nashville and with dr john deloney and rachel cruz uh real life answers to real marriage questions gets a little dicey in there sometimes i'm just saying but uh you're going to love the event you're going to learn a lot it's pretty

incredible so any of these three things you can get at ramseySolutions.com slash events. And they all three are likely to be sellouts well before. So get your tickets quickly. On the debt-free stage in the Ramsey Solutions headquarters lobby is Tyler and Jesse. Hey, guys, how are you? Good. How are you? Better than I deserve, man. Tell me, where do you guys live?

Worcester, Ohio. Cool. What's that near? Akron. Akron. All right. Cool. And how much debt have you guys paid? $289,000. How long did that take? 44 months. Good for you. And your range of income? We started at 116 and now we make 169. Good. What do you guys do for a living? I'm a firefighter. And I'm a physical therapist. Very cool. Awesome.

Very cool. What was the 289? What kind of debt? It was two car loans, and then most of it was a student loan. Wow. Nice, y'all. Good for you guys. How long y'all been married?

Four years today. Oh, happy anniversary. Happy anniversary. So fun. They said it in unison. That was perfect. So great. Very cool, you guys. So somebody comes out with a bunch of student loans maybe physical therapy could be i don't know

possible doing a pt degree yeah and you guys get married and you go okay cleanup time tell me how that happened and what the conversation sounded like how How did you plug into Ramsey? So I grew up, my parents did the Dave Ramsey program, the Baby Steps. And so when I graduated in 2017 with my doctorate degree, I asked my dad, I'm like, what do I do about this? And he said, you need to read, you know, Total Money Makeover and you need to get signed up for FPU. It'll be the best money you've ever spent. And so I went to FPU a year before meeting Tyler. And then I met Tyler at work. We started dating the next year. We started talking about marriage and I said, okay, I want you to go through this course with me. And you need to know what comes with me.

Yes. That's right. That's right. Yeah. So we had the talk, the money talk yeah how long had you been dating before you disclosed hundreds of thousands of student loan debt uh two months yeah get this out of the way all right just see if he's a keeper or not right yeah so great oh my gosh you guys okay so for four years you've you've been doing this so pretty much since you've been married

you guys have been on this okay so how hard was that because i feel like especially when you have a new event like whether it's marriage or a baby or you graduate from college like whatever it is you kind of want to jump into a new season and just enjoy life so how how hard was it being newlyweds knowing like we're buckling down and doing this it was rough I mean we got married uh during the pandemic oh my gosh yeah and so um my income actually reduced you got married at the height of the pandemic yeah like about the time the quarantine started yeah we were on shutdown whenever we got married yeah this is like this is mark this is the end of march yeah oh my gosh and it's your anniversary yeah whoa okay so yeah so the whole pandemic you guys were doing this then yeah wow yeah Wow. Yeah, trying to. Yes.

My income reduced by half because my outpatient hours were reduced. So it's just amazing because I actually found other opportunities, screening in the ED on third shift, going and doing cash-based physical therapy in people's homes that didn't want to go out in the community. Yeah, God really showed up. Yeah. She got after it too. Wow, you were getting it.

Good for y'all. Amazing. Wow. So you get married right at the quarantine, and then you go wide open into this thing. So what was the hardest part of the whole journey? I think the hardest part was just not playing the comparison game and walking our own path. You know, we're at an age right now where everybody in our life is making different

milestones. And, you know, we just had to celebrate ours, you know, through the debt snowball, the way it's set up, you can still celebrate while you're paying off your debt. So, yeah. What do you think? Yeah. Yeah. Just, just got to shut up and do it i mean

you just yeah yeah you know um i think what got me through was that i was hearing the debt-free screams of all these other people um who you know lost a spouse or you know um you know just different things our life stuff yeah yeah and you know it's like okay they can do what's my excuse how much did you guys work would you say what was like at the peak how many hours a week was like the oh gosh we were like animals um yeah we we would go whole weeks without seeing each other because we worked opposite schedules um with my job i think i sometimes was like somewhere around 60 65 hours in a week oh Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Yeah. As a fireman, I could go upwards of 100 hours a week.

But, you know, sometimes we get to sleep, but not always. It's not guaranteed by any stretch. Okay. So besides work and income, what's the other part of this that you would tell somebody? Yeah. The key. What's the key? What's the thing?

The number one thing. To get out of debt. Oh, just take every opportunity you can to increase your income. I know we did. We just went after every certification. We're at work anyways. We're spending the hours anyways. Let's just do that too. Let's try to get, you know, our time worth more. And then also too at home, just making meals at home, packing lunches. We made our own laundry detergent. I mean, just, you know, all these little things that really add up. Yeah. And just to add on to that, you know, we're lucky enough that the phase

of life we're in, we don't have children yet, anything like that. So we took this time for a lot of professional development. Like our life wasn't on hold really because we've developed a lot. So that's awesome, guys that's otherwise yeah for sure your incomes have increased permanently yeah because of that so so nice no payments you're heroes well done so the first four years you worked your tail end off for four years you're a hundred percent debt free was it worth it yes oh yeah yes it's amazing to walk into work and know that we have the ball now this you know every every you know dollar goes towards our goals if we're not paying some bank you know it's amazing well that's it yeah just put me in coach that's right i love it well done

well done so proud of y'all who was cheering you on i bet your dad yep yep our family our friends um we definitely talked to people who had gone through the steps and were successful with it yeah yeah and it's funny like you know at work i almost have like a second family we brought some people around you know and they were cheering us on at the end too so it was awesome yeah that's great very cool so great you guys well you guys. Well done, guys. Home run. Touchdown. Way to go, heroes.

Hey, we've got an every dollar subscription for you for the premium. You're probably already using it, and then I'll extend it for you. And another one for you to give away for somebody that can't believe you really did this. I'm impressed with these numbers. Very hard work. Very hard work. She's not kidding. Lots and lots of hours.

She said it like six times but she's exactly oh yeah really happened really happened all right it's tyler and jesse from macron ohio 289 000 paid off in 44 months making 116 to 169 counted down let's hear a debt-free Three, two, one. We're debt free! Yeah! Woo-hoo-hoo! Way to go, you guys! And now, their debt-free scream is permanently enshrined in the YouTube Hall of Fame to encourage other people who are in the middle of their hard journey. Telling you, it's worth it this is the ramsey show open phones this hour i'm dave ramsey your host thank you for joining us today's question comes

from anonymous i haven't heard from anonymous in a while he used to write me all the time usually doesn't have nice things to say but let's see what anonymous in a while he used to write me all the time usually doesn't have nice things to say but let's see what anonymous in arkansas says says how do you learn discipline i spend so much of my income on going out to eat i work overnights at walmart and make twenty dollars an hour but my bank account always is a race to zero i borrow money from my paycheck before i get it and use apps like dave yeah there is one it's not cash oh to get cash advance is it really named dave yeah they named it after they did that on purpose oh no dave oh gosh and it charges five dollars for an instant deposit i feel like i can't get out of this three thousand dollar credit card hole that I'm in. I also owe the IRS around $4,000.

If I was disciplined with my money, I wouldn't be in this spot. I'm 27. I need to get my stuff together. Wow. Anonymous, that is a very, I think you have your stuff together. My dad used to tell me that

when you recognize a problem 90 of the problem is solved and so i think you're on a really really good path here um i did the same thing anonymous um during the falchi pandemic i ate every donut in a 50 mile radius and i looked down and there was a thing growing on the front of me. It looked like a belly. It was ridiculous. There's still a little of it left, but I haven't got rid of all of it. But I said, you know, Dave, you're a mess. Dave, you're an idiot.

Dave, you're out of control. It's not good self-talk. If you would not eat everything in sight, you would not be the size of an elephant, Dave. You are not an idiot. No, I was. You're making idiot choices. I was doing idiot stuff. it it's not who you are well i'm just saying i did not have an identity crisis never fear but but i mean the point is is that i look down just

like you did i said what's what i'm doing is not working i'm getting negative results for negative behavior i've got to change my behavior that's a a huge thing. And I did. I hadn't had a donut since the Fauci pandemic. So, and I lost 37 pounds and I've walked every day for 1473 days as of this morning, at least a mile up to five to seven miles in most days. So, yeah, I get it. I understand. But what did I do there to change my negative behaviors that were giving me negative results was I said, what has to be true? What has to change? Well, it's, you know, weight loss is a lot like money. It's a fairly simple concept.

You eat less. There it is. And you exercise more. There it is. And so with money, what are we going to do? We're going to make more. So you need to probably be exercise more. There it is. And so with money, what are we going to do? We're going to make more, so you need to probably be working more. And maybe even at a different place, I don't know. You might make more.

You might be able to find a better job. And then the second thing, Anonymous, is I would be giving the EveryDollar app. You can download it for free. If you want the upgrade, it's just a few dollars and it connects to your bank but that's the world's best budgeting app and what the budget does is it's making every one of your dollars behave before you get them that's the trick to budgeting is you say before it occurs before the money comes into my hand i'm going to already have spent it on paper on purpose on the app or whatever yeah and that will give you control then the discipline

will come from you saying i don't want to live like this anymore so i'm going to live like that i'm going to be the guy that wrote this stuff down i'm going to be the guy that doesn't eat a donut i'm going to be the guy that doesn't sit on his butt and watch netflix he's going to get up and go walk four miles i'm going to be the guy that does something different because i want a different result but you've got something to measure it against and in my case it was the scales in case, it's some debt. And your written down budget will give you tremendous motivation if you really mean it. And I'll be honest, I've been doing this 32 years, reading this email from you, Anonymous. I think you really mean it.

Yeah. And you see things like I spend so much of my income on going out to eat. So like the planning with your money, you plan food, though. I mean, like, you know what I mean? And just to say, okay, I'm going to meal plan on Sunday night, and I'm going to know when we eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every single day, and it's not going to be great food. It's going to be cheap, and it's going to be quick.

But I'm going to do that instead of going out. My buddies want to go out for a drink. I can't afford to. Yep, and so it is. My buddies want to go out to eat. I can't afford to. And it's like a muscle. It takes time.

It takes time to build it. And so there's going to be. But anonymous, that couple that was just up here that was making $170,000 a year, they made their lunch and took it to work. Hello? And they paid off $289,000 in debt. And change is hard, though. And I think like. Oh, it is hard.

Well, and we laugh at you sometimes. Or I laugh at you sometimes. Because you're like, change. Just change. You do this like clapping thing. i'm like but it but here's the deal it's it it is it is difficult because there is a norm that you set in it's a human experience of like what i know is normal is comfortable even though i know it's wrong and that change it's going that's almost the scarier step it's almost the scarier step to say I'm going that's why I say maybe step one sometimes the hardest because like I'm engaging in something new and so I you know in a sense changing to do something that feels hard

is hard yes but change is not necessarily hard if you change from uh driving a horrible car to driving a great car that's not hard yeah that's fair i guess that's a good change so that's not a hard change okay if you change from living in a dump to moving into a million dollar house that's not a hard change change is easy when it's but and so what you've got benefit it's when the change has sacrificed what you've got to do is you have to say is this change is this hard change taking me to a better place then i gotta then i gotta work my way through it yeah you know is it worth it and it's like the bumper sticker when i'm you know i'm fat from the donuts i see this bumper sticker and it says nothing tastes as good as it is nothing tastes as good

as it feels to be thin and so don't put it in your mouth you know it's that kind of thing you cannot run a big mac and so you can't do enough exercise to eat big macs it doesn't work so um that's it and so these things you know you get, okay, I'm going to live like no one else so that later I can live and give like no one else. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but it yields a harvest of righteousness. And so instead of sitting down and looking at my numbers and going, well, this can't be done, you know. There's no way. Instead, I start looking at my numbers and go, what has to change?

What must be different? Okay, we're not eating out. We're going to have a written game plan. We're going to look at increasing our income. And when you align yourself to all of those because the belief that you're getting to, that those are going to take you to a better place, you'll instantly be motivated. No one exercises. Well, I won't say that.

Most people don't exercise because it's fun. Some of you do, but you're sick. But most people exercise because it's good for you. But you feel good, though. Endorphins make you happy. You do get a high off of it. And happy people don't kill their husbands. do get a high off of it when you're done but i'm just saying it's not because it's like whoo-hoo you know and so there's i mean

yesterday morning it was raining i did not want to walk it was not fun i did not want to walk what i wanted was the result more than i wanted the action yeah I can't tell you that was fun. You should lift. Yeah, I should do something. But at least I did that. You're trying to find something I can do indoors, I know. But anyway, the point being, Anonymous, I really think you're on to something. I really think there's good things that are going to come to your life.

Because, you know you know discipline no discipline seems pleasant at the time his question was how do you learn discipline but it yields a harvest of righteousness the way you focus on it is you focus on the harvest of what you're going to get but there's also the day in and day out consistency that it just becomes a part of who you are James Clare talks about how new habits you just take on a new identity. I am a person that fills in the blank. I am not a person that borrows money. Yep. I'm a person that does not have credit. I'm a person who takes their lunch to work. That is who I am. Right. I mean, like it's these new identity markers. I'm a person

with four pieces of plastic in my pocket, two debit cards, my driver's license, my handgun carry permit. These are the only plastic I own. I don't have any other plastic. That's the person that I am. And, you know, somebody says, well, you need to borrow money to do that. Well, I can't do that because I don't. I'm a person that doesn't borrow money. And so you're a person that has discipline.

You're a person that works extra. You're a person that doesn't eat out when they're broke. You're a person that doesn't go to happy hour when you should be working overtime. You're a person, you know, and that you're right, that James Clear change of identity and atomic habits is a big deal. Anonymous. I think this is a fabulous question, and I'm really encouraged for you. This is The Ramsey Show. Take care.