The Ramsey Show - App - There's No External Plug to an Internal Hole (Hour 1)

Episode Date: October 2, 2020

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🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, this is the Dave Ramsey Show, where America hangs out and have a conversation about your life, your money, your mental state, everything. I'm so excited to be co-hosting this show today with my dear friend, good friend, Dr. John Deloney. My name is Anthony O'Neill, Ramsey Personalities. I'm here to take your phone calls, and we are excited to talk with you. So give us a call, 888-825-5225, 888-825-5225, and we would definitely love to have a conversation with you and going straight to

Jackson Tennessee we'll have a conversation with Zach Zach good afternoon how can we help alright how's it going guys outstanding how are you good man doing pretty good just had a

quick question wanted to get your input on a situation that i'm going through um so a few weeks ago we were driving down the highway my wife sees a little boy standing by the road and uh he decides to throw a big huge rock at our car so pretty fun well uh you know we pull in the little boy takes off running in the woods end up long story short we talked to the boy's mom she she says that she's going to handle the situation you know whatever it costs to get the car repaired the big thing when it scratched the paint you know whole nine yards so yesterday I went to get the car looked at to see how much it would cost. So I get the estimate, and I contact her, and she's now saying she's not going to help at all.

You know, she's not even offering to do anything. So being a Christian, you know, I want to do the right thing, and I want to make sure that I'm not just getting run over as well. So I'm wondering if I should take it to like a small claims court to try to get the money. It's like a little less than $900. So should I just let it go, or should I do what I can to get the money to get the car fixed?

Do you have insurance uh zach yeah i do but i mean you know it caused my rates to go up to apply my insurance so yeah yeah um what do you want to do man i mean you know i go back to the word of God and, you know, it's like I've been forgiven so much, so I want to forgive it and just say, you know what, just let it go. But at the same time, I mean, it is going to have to be taken care of and we don't have the money to do it. So I don't know. I'm just kind of torn.

Gotcha. You don't have an emergency fund, Zach? No, I don't know i'm just kind of torn got you you don't have an emergency funds that no i don't okay all right all right here's the thing it's going to cost you uh some money to go to small claims court um and here's the thing too if she doesn't have it she's not going to pay for it even even if she here's the deal. I'm friends with Glady on Facebook. It's a small town here. She's on Facebook, you know, asking about how to get the new PlayStation 5 and talking about, you know, how good her husband's job is and stuff. But she's telling me that she has no money to pay.

Well, Zach, so once you try to get into her, try to get into her head. Yeah. Once you try to imagine what's in her checking account, you have left the idea of justice and you've, you've wandered over into retribution. Okay. And so that, if this isn't a, a church service type of show, but if you want to get into the biblical part, that's, that's the, that's the concern there. Um, that there's concern there. Right.

That there's a difference between I need you to pay for something that you damaged, and then I'm going to pile on, and I need a million dollars for pain and suffering. Right? So there's a difference between justice, there's a difference between the right thing to do, and then there's a difference between retribution. So I don't see any moral or legal or spiritual obligation. I mean, spiritual challenge to you going with the rules of the society that we all live in to get your car taken care of. I also want to want to really suggest you lean into what Anthony was saying. At the end of the day, you're going to have a lot of heartache, a lot of drama, a lot more expense than you think so going after $700, $800, $900 and something that a kid did.

And so at the end of the day, you're going to have to sleep at night with whichever side you choose, I will tell you that if you start trying to figure out what you think she's worth and how she should be spending her money, man, that is a fool's errand. You're going to end up like the federal government, where you're going to be sitting across an aisle from somebody throwing crayons at each other, trying to solve problems by blaming. I get what you're saying. It just kind of feels like being spit in the face. It's like, I don't have any money,

but yet, you know, I can't help you out. But she already agreed to help. You know what I'm saying? She already agreed to take care of it. Sure. Well, here's the thing, Zach.

It's like a slap in the face. Here's the thing, Zach, and I'm going to be honest. You are being done wrong. I'm just going to be real with you. Yep. Her son did it, and she said she'll fix it and now

she coming now she's coming back i think dr d and i are both agreeing what's happening to you is rogue okay we're not we're not trying to take up for her what we're trying to do is help you move forward in a peaceful way and so if i was you this is what i will be doing it's not what dr d will be doing maybe but it not what Dr. D would be doing maybe, but it's what I'll be doing. I will unfollow her from Facebook. I would reach out to her one more time. Say, Hey ma'am, I really need this taken care of. Your son did this. You all are responsible for this. This is putting me into a bind. Can we handle this peacefully before moving forward? And just give her that opportunity. And then from there,

if she says yes, figure it out. If she says no, then okay, thank you so much. And then if you want to take it to small claims court, you have every legal right to do so.

But I'm not taking her the same to small claims court because I don't have time for the frustration, the drama, the issues over $900. We're not talking about 9,000. We're not talking about $9,000. We're talking about $900.

And, Dr. Deep, this is why Dave, Hogan, myself, Rachel, this is why we talk about having an emergency fund. Right. Because in situations like this, life happens. And this wouldn't be an extreme emergency. This would just be like a dang man i wasn't expecting to do this but hey i gotta take care of it that's right you know and and i what you just said anthony is so wise here's what he can control his side of the equation yes quick

unfollow her from facebook yes right if you think somebody has shown their character on the internets which i'm always going to debate that because that's fantasy land um then you can spend your energy and your soul and your blood pressure yeah trying to go to war in fantasy land or you can just hit the unfollow button you know what some of my friends would do in america do not do this we're just on the show having a conversation my friends my friends will guilt if she posted about the PlayStation 4, they will literally go in there and be like, hey, you're going to buy a PlayStation? Can you fix my car first? Right, right, right. So don't do that.

Don't stoop to their level. You stay high and just focus on your piece moving forward. Focus on the things that you can control and do not stress on the things you cannot control. This is the day ramson show with dr d and myself here be keeping it real relevant and righteous somewhat too we'll be right back folks i love telling you about well-made well-thought-out products today i'm talking about grip six belts i don't know about you but I'm not a fan of traditional belts. They never fit right, and they're uncomfortable. Grip6 belts are unique. Owner BJ designed a truly

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about 150 000 on it. And, you know, I put the healthy down payment. Well, I've been thinking about life a little bit and things that I want to do. And I feel a little bit mediocre in my life right now. I'm debt-free and whatnot. I have been just a mortgage. And I need a win on my 40th birthday. Matt.

Yes. Matt. Did you just say you feel like Mitterracher because you're debt-free? Like you haven't accomplished nothing already? No, he's feeling, you're feeling mediocre and you're debt-free. Well, there's so many things I want to do, but it costs a lot of money and I want to do it cash. And so one of the things I want to do is I want to pay this house off. I bought it on my 36th birthday, and I did the calculations.

And if I grit down, I could pay this thing off, the last payment approximately on my birthday when I turned 40. And I love that idea of buying a house and having it paid off inside 48 months. What it would cost me is that I'm going to have to take my retirement contributions down to 6% a year for the next two and a half years. And in doing so, I will free up so much cash flow that I can just obliterate this mortgage. And I got to tell you, being 40 with a paid off house and then being able to finally save up for cash and buy that boat I want in two years seems pretty attractive. And I just want to know if you think, you know, would this be kind of poor judgment? Would it jeopardize my future retirement nest egg to kind of put the brakes

on my retirement planning, you know, from going at like 18% contribution to 6% for two and a half years. You're contributing 18% right now. Yeah. And, and after it's done, I will be contributing the legal maximum to the 401k and the Roth IRA. And I'll still have excellent cashflow because I won't have a debt period. So two and a half years of slowing it down and then busting it out when I turned 40 and leaving it wide open in terms of investing for the rest of my working days till hopefully 60, 65, 70. How much do you own a house right now, Matt? I own about a hundred thousand.

How much is it worth? Probably 150 to 160. How much did you buy it for? 140 plus 10,000 of a renovation. 140 plus 10,000 to $160,000. How much did you buy it for? $140,000 plus $10,000 of a renovation. $140,000 plus $10,000 of a renovation. So that means you've gotten about $7,000, $8,000 in equity out of it right now? I've got quite a bit. I put 20% down.

I think... No, no, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying from the price of the house to what you owe right now. So how much equity have you built from the price of the house to that right now? About 8,000. I think I've got, I think I've got about $30,000 of equity in this house now.

Cool. You bought it for how much? 140. How much is it worth now? One. I think it's worth about one 50 conservatively. So that means you've gained $10,000 in equity. Yes. Okay. So if means you've gained $10,000 in equity? Yes.

Okay. So if you stop investing for four years, you're going to lose out on a match and you're going to lose out on compound interest over four years that is worth way more than $10,000, $15,000. So what I'm saying is I love your drive. I love

the fact that you really, really want to go ahead and get this house paid off. I'm so with that. And I want to help you get there. What I'm not a fan of is you robbing for your future to take care of a present thing that is not hurting you. So if you're investing 18%, don't invest in 18%. Go ahead and go down to 15%. Take that other 3% and put that towards your mortgage. But I do not want you to sacrifice all this interest stuff,

and then now you're looking at a paid-for mortgage, but you haven't invested into your retirement. So, yes, you are hurting your retirement if you take the next few years off. But I would say do both of them. The fact that you're 40 years old right now, the fact that you will be 40 years old and you are debt-free, the fact that you're 36, 37 right now and you're debt-free, that is a huge milestone, man.

Understand that 80%, nearly 80% in the world right now are not near what you are, where you are. They're living paycheck to paycheck. You're not. So you have accomplished a lot already. But I love to drive. I want you to become debt-free. But I'm saying instead of by 40, maybe by 41.

Hey, Matt, why are you dissatisfied with just life in general? Well, I mean, I guess, you know, the Lord hasn't really shown me yet my way. I don't really know what my purpose is. And I've always been very conservative in what I do, education and job and go forth. And, you know, I thought it'd be fun to get a camper, but I don't have a tow vehicle. So I'd have to buy one of those in addition to the camper. Well, I don't have a paid-for house, so I can't much save up for that. I thought maybe it'd be fun to go boating, but I don't have a paid-for house, so I can't save up money for a boat. So, hey, Matt, listen to me.

There is no such thing as an external plug to an internal hole. Okay? There is no external plug to an internal hole. Okay? There is no external plug to an internal hole. And I don't know what it is you're chasing. I don't know what it is that you are hoping that you will open some magic door and finally that alarm system in your head will stop, that your shoulders will finally drop, you'll finally have a good night's sleep if you're going to find this thing.

And I'm going to break your heart here, brother. It doesn't exist. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah. Are you alone there in St. Louis? You know, there's not as much. And, uh, as I get older, single older, uh, you know, the rest of the family kind of dies off. So, uh, things aren't what they used to be 15 years ago.

Sure. Do you have a circle? You have a circle of friends, a circle of individuals around you, a church community? Very, very small. I left the area after college and built my career. And then I came back very, very recently. So there's really not a whole lot around here. So one of the things that stinks, Matt, is there is no swipe right app for 35 to 45 year old guys. There is no group like, Hey, I just kind of like hanging out. I like watching games and not,

not hanging on with other people. Swipe right and we can be friends. That doesn't exist. What I would rather see you do, I'd love Anthony's wisdom here financially, chasing down this other milestone. You're going to be 40 and you're going to go, all right, I'm telling you right now, on the other side of 40, it is not going to feel as whole as you think it's going to.

I'd much rather you double down and triple down on trying to find relationships in the St. Louis area, a group of men, a group of men and women, a group of people to hang out with. Yeah, he need to get around some ladies so he can meet a beautiful woman. Go interact with other people. Yes. Because that's going to heal you from the inside out other people and i understand dude that emptiness i understand that black hole i understand that all right i'm debt free uh dot dot dot now what and i understand that oh maybe if i get a boat but i need to do this i need, that feels good. That's going to be an empty victory. It's a hollow victory without other people in your life. And also, man, I would definitely say go get the book Purpose Driven Life. Okay.

And I'm going to say this, and I'm trying to say it in a non-spiritual way, but you said something God hasn't given you a purpose. I believe God has. I think sometimes we miss hearing God because we're so busy doing something else. And I think you've been so busy trying to accomplish things on the external that God is talking to you internally, but you've been so busy and your life has been so loud that you couldn't hear what he was trying to give you on the inside to bring you that purpose, to bring you that joy and freedom that you need and so i i agree that you one stop trying to pay off the house right now just make the mortgage payment make a little bit extra if you want to but spend

some time to really just quiet your external life get around some peers get around some some men get around some um some ladies you know go out on a date and just enjoy where God has you at because, bro, you're a solid guy. But I just want you to sit still a little bit so that way internally, you can maybe hear from God and he can give you your purpose. Yeah, brother. There's some healing that's got to happen in your heart and

I'm sure that's a long journey. You're worth it, brother. You're worth it. You're worth it, man. Hey, Dr. D, it's me and you today. Let's go. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. 888-255-225 if you want to call in and just have a question about anything any area of life, eight, two, five, five, two, two, five. If you want to call in and just have a question about anything, any area of life, money, life, relationships, dating.

As a matter of fact, we have a dating question coming up next in this beautiful city of Jackson, Tennessee. Let's have a conversation with Ben. Ben, good afternoon. How can Dr. D and I help? Good afternoon. How are y'all gentlemen doing? Doing good, man. How about yourself?

Doing pretty good. I've got a question. I've been dating this woman since mid-April, and I've tried to move our relationship further along and started getting into finances and asking about how she's financing and budgeting. And I just recently got on the Dave Ramsey plan about September, and I've been able to pay off like $3,500 in like three weeks. Congrats, man. Yeah, thanks.

And, you know, I've tried to get her income up, and every time I mention she's a stay-at-home mom and every time I mention that, you know, she needs to try and get her income up, and every time I mention she's a stay-at-home mom, and every time I mention that, you know, she needs to try and get her income up, she gets mad at me for mentioning, you know, that she needs to maybe try to go back to work and get her income up. Is she a single mom? Yes, she's a single mom with three kids. Okay, and how old are you?

I'm 28. 28, okay. How old is she? Yeah, she's 29. Okay. And how old are you? I'm 28. 28? Okay. How old is she? Yeah. She's 29. Okay. So is she living off alimony, essentially? Well, she's living off child support.

Right. She's basically child support, and she's only getting like $800-something. Sure. And I tried to tell her she needs to get her income up, you know she's gonna either move out of the house she's in and sell her car or try to get her income up because she's never gonna make ends meet listen brother ben i'm telling you this because i love you and you're our fellow tennessean okay the last thing on planet earth a single mom with three kids needs is a boyfriend of about four or five or six months telling her what she needs to be doing with her life. What she needs to be selling.

No, hold on, hold on. What she needs to be selling, what she needs to be doing. Brother, that's way, way out of bounds, way out of anything that makes any sort of sense. Even if you think you've got the math part figured out, hearing that sets off every alarm she's got. Okay? And so the best thing you can do right now is model your own actions and your own thoughts. You can live towards the day of Ramsey.

You're still single. You can be taking care of you in this process. And as y'all continue to date, you met her in the middle of a pandemic. So I'm just telling you things are going to be different over the next year or so. Um, as you are making your way through this relationship further, the thing that she needs less from you is advice. And the thing that she needs more from you is a relationship, is you. Okay? So talking about, hey, here's some things that I'm doing in my life.

Here's some accomplishments. Here's some goals I'm setting and working towards, working forward. But, man, stay out of that, hey, here's what you should be doing. Here's what you need to be selling. You need to get off the couch and start working some more. Brother, that's some dangerous, dangerous West Coast on-fire territory. Well, I mean, that's what I've been modeling for, you know, and telling her this is where I'm going, you know, this is where I'm heading. And she's, you know, she's slowly seeing where I'm coming from.

It's just trying to get her to, you know, go with it, you know, go with the flow and try to get her income up to where she – because I know she's struggling because she's told me a number of times that she's struggling a lot. No question. Hey, y'all been dating for how long again, Ben? Since April. Since April of this year.

So it's about, what, six, seven months? Four months. Four months, four months. Okay. All right, so check this out, man. I'm going to say something again on the day ram to show that some people may not like uh dating the root word for dating is data and so when you're dating someone you're gathering data to see if you want to proceed forward with that individual if this young lady after four

months is showing you that in this season of my life, I do not want to do this. That is data for you now to be like, all right, do I want to live with this or not live with this? And so if you do not want to live with it, then move on. If you do, then it goes back to what you're saying. Be in a relationship with her and do not try telling her about herself. Right. And Ben did the classic. Yeah. Which is, I'm telling you, Ben, this is what I've been doing for 20 years.

And Ben's response is, I know, man, but listen, but listen. This is where, like, I know, but I'm different. Like, this is the right way. Trust me. Yeah. Ben, for 30 days, brother, I want you to not give her one piece of advice. That relationship will get better. It's October 2, November 2.

You've got our number. Call us. I want you to go 30 days, no advice. No advice. I want you to say, call her in the morning and say, I hope you're having a great day. Yes. Anything I can do to serve you today. Can I love you today?

Yes. And then in the evening time, if you don't. No, no, no. Don't skip to the evening. Text her at lunchtime. How's your day going? That's right. Come on.

You know what I'm saying? Then. Text her some song lyrics. Yes. Yes. Whatever it needs to do. In the evening, I hope today was awesome. Yep.

I love you. Right, listen. And I'll see you tomorrow. No advice. Yes. No. If she calls and says, hey, what should I do? I want your answer to be, you're brilliant.

You grew three children in your body. Come on, man. What do you think you should do? Well, yes. What do you think you should do? Whatever you do decide to do, I'm going to support that. 30 days. 30 days.

And call us back. Don't call Dave Ramsey back. No. Wait until you see Dr. D and Anthony O'Neal on the show and call us back don't call Dave Ramsey back no wait till you see Dr. D and Anthony O'Neal on the show and give us a call back and I guarantee you

I guarantee you that y'all's relationship would be much better and if it's not let's be real then you need to make the decision with that data

to either move forward or to stay right now one of the things Dr. D I love about the Dave Ramsey show is that we have an amazing YouTube tribe.

Okay. And if you all are listening to us, you can log on to youtube.com, go to the Dave Ramsey show live. And I mean, I'm on here all the time. Just really just in between breaks, looking at it,

talking with them. And I really want to encourage you. If you're ever at home, definitely log on there. You'll see our faces. Dr. D actually had on a shirt earlier that looked just like mine, but my shirt looked better, so we made him change his shirt. I'm the new guy, so I had to go change.

No, but seriously, though, I mean, we love talking with you all. So, Dr. D, I have another question for you because I don't want to answer this question. It's from YouTube. Okay. Jarvis Jackson says, question for you because i don't want to answer this question it's from it's from youtube okay okay uh jarvis jackson says what advice would you give a young single guy like myself that can't seem to find a significant other because most ladies are intimidated by my drive man that's a brother that needs a hug right there i don't think that um that is somebody who has concocted an excuse has created

a oh that's why and has taken on that on as their identity as to why people don't want to be around them and so anybody who walks into a room and thinks to themselves i've got so much drive people in here may not even want to be around me. It's going to assure that nobody wants to be around you. Now, is it possible in your expertise of studies that some ladies are intimidated by successful men? I think all different kinds of people are intimidated by all different kinds of things because all different kinds of people have all different kinds of narratives that they grew up with. They have models.

They have stories. Some people had dads whose jobs are more important than they were. Yeah. And they are intimidated by that. And they're going to find themselves marrying that. Okay. Right. Okay.

Or some people had dads who didn't go to work at all, but were great fathers. Yeah. And they understand what being hungry is about, but they also understand what deep connection with the parents like right so to think that i'm going to walk into a room and make a blatant generalization about everybody here based on my clearly superior way of being my drive yeah man that's not fair to the people around you so one of the things i want someone to do is to walk in a room and say how can i connect with the people in this room so when he meets a young lady because mr jackson on youtube i hope you're paying attention to this

wisdom that you're getting he needs to go up to her and say you know how can i win her over how can i uh calm myself down and just connect better with her so those are two different things i don't ever want to be over i don't want to win over I don't want to win over. I don't want to lord over. I don't want advice over. I want to be with. How can I connect with somebody? And it starts with hi, my name is John. Well, you too.

That's your shout out for today. America, this is Dr. D and Anthony O'Neill right here on the Dave Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. parents i know that you want your kids to be prepared for the real world but teaching them how to handle money the right way can seem like a big job because honestly it is a big job so good news our foundations and personal finance curriculum has helped over five million students let me say that again five million students learn to learn about budgeting saving investing and a whole lot more and this curriculum has been taught in more than 45% of high schools across the country. Because when it comes to money, teens should feel confident, empowered,

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and I promise you your kids will not make the money mistakes you and your significant other made so going out to Virginia we're going to have a conversation here with Nicole good afternoon Nicole how can Dr. D and I help hi guys thanks for

taking my call today I don't know thanks for calling in how can we help? So right now I'm the only one working in our household. My husband is a stay-at-home dad of children of one and three, and I make probably about $90,000 a year. We're currently living in a house. It's about $260,000. That's probably how much we could get for it.

So our question is if we should sell the house to pay off our debt. We have about $55,000 worth of debt. And we owe about $180,000 on the house currently. So it's worth, you said 260 and you owe 180. Yes. All right. So you have about 80 grand in equity and your income is at 90 outside of your mortgage. What was your other debt? And your income is at 90 outside of your mortgage.

What was your other debt? It's about $55,000. Is that student loans, cars? So about $10,000 is left on the car. Okay. And then have about $20,000 on student loans left to pay. And then, unfortunately, $25,000 of that is within a debt relief program, and that's why I want to go ahead and just get it paid off as soon as possible. It's very stressful knowing that we are not making any payments right now on our

debts is the reason why you're selling your house solely to pay off the debt um like if you had no debt would you still love this house and would you still want to be in this house um no i mean we can't picture ourselves being in virginia for album okay um we would like to relocate but um right now we would like to possibly say like sell the house save up maybe in a year or so um living in an apartment to relocate um Um, so yeah. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. Um, if you're saying that you're going to move here within the next couple of years, you have 80 grand in equity. Okay. Um, you're going to take 9% off of that two 60 on average. So you're not going to walk away with $80,000 in equity. You may walk away with right at about 55 to $60,000 in equity. So you're going to have to pay off your, you'll pay off your debt with that.

So you really won't pocket any of that money, but you definitely will be able to pay off your debt. I'm a huge fan of home ownership once you're in it, as long as that, you know, the payment is below 25% of your take-home pay. So I always try to ask the right questions to make sure, because a lot of people think, well, if I have debt, I'm going to sell my house. Well, wait, wait a minute. Let's just make sure to ask the right questions to make sure because a lot of people think, well, if I have debt, I'm sell my house.

Well, wait, wait a minute. Let's just make sure that's the right move for you at this time. And from hearing you, your future, your income, I do believe that you go on ahead and selling your house. That's a good move. And then from there, just make sure you get an affordable apartment. And I would say if you really want to save, try and get that apartment payment right around 15 to 20 percent of your income. So that way you can save a lot more. You can save at least 10 to 20 percent down to go to where you're moving to. Now, where are you moving to? Like, where would you all like to move to?

Possibly to Tennessee. Oh, beautiful. We would have to look more into it, but we definitely don't want to be in Virginia any longer. Okay, okay. Yeah, Tennessee's a beautiful state, you know, and you'll definitely be able to find something beautiful out here. So I think that's a great move. Anything on your end, John? I was going to say, Nicole, I did this exact thing.

It was a good move for our family. We spent a year in an apartment. We had one little kid. It was good. We learned a lot about ourselves and about our family. Can spent a year in an apartment. We had one little kid. It was good. We learned a lot about ourselves and about our family. Can I be honest with you? Yes. You have an existential weariness in your

voice behind the debt. What's going on in your soul, man? You seem exhausted. Well, I am. We've been peace solving back and forth if we sell the house or um my husband works very hard at home and um a one and a three-year-old is very exhausting and you know we've toyed with the idea of him getting a job after I get home from my job because I work six days a week right now. And I just don't think that's fair.

I mean, when I get home, he's exhausted. I'm exhausted. So I don't think it's fair to ask him to get, you know, a part-time job. I've thought about entertaining the idea of getting a part-time job after my full-time job. But, you know, I miss my kids. As a mother, this is a very important time to watch them grow. What do you do for a living, Nicole? What do you do for a living?

I'm a dental hygienist. Okay. So will you do me a huge favor? Yes. Listen to what I'm going to say, okay? We don't think when winter comes that summer's broken. Winter's just the season, and it's cold, and all the leaves fall off. There's no fruit on the trees.

It's just not that great. And we hang on, and then spring always shows up. You have a one-year-old and a three-year-old in your house. You're in the middle of a pandemic. You're in an exhausting, hard job. Most people don't know the research on dental offices is one of the hardest sole taxing jobs there is in the world. And I want to just honor the season, okay? Sometimes there's not a lot to solve.

You guys do have a debt problem. If selling your house is going to be helpful and relieve some of that burden off your hearts and minds, that's great. But I also want you to just exhale. It's just winter. You have a one and a three-year-old, man. You've got diapers everywhere and nobody's sleeping.

There's food on everything. You've got toys everywhere, pacifiers behind the commode. You've got diapers everywhere and nobody's sleeping there's food on everything you got toys everywhere pacifiers behind the commode you got stuff everywhere I want you to give yourself my new friend Nicole give yourself some grace okay this season's

not gonna last forever that one in that three year old they're gonna start talking they're gonna start smiling at you one day I promise they're gonna be able to wipe their own behinds, shower themselves. It's coming. It's just not right now. You're a good, good mom.

You're a good, good wife. Sounds like your husband's doing some hard work. Rest in this season. It's winter. Summer's coming. Summer's coming, Nicole. I was enjoying your time there, brother. I just have a heart for moms who just say,

can I be doing more, can I be doing more? And sometimes you just got to say, this is hard, this is a season, it's going to pass. You almost made me cry there, bro. I'm not going to do it. Oh, man. That was a great hour, y'all. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Dave Ramsey Show.

If you would like to do your debt-free screen live on the show, make sure you visit DaveRamsey.com slash show and register. We would love for you to come to Nashville and tell Dave your story.