The Ramsey Show - App - This Dream Could Become a Nightmare (Hour 1)

Episode Date: September 26, 2023

Live Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author of the book, Own Your Past, Change Your Future. And the new book, what's on my mind, man, this book is absolutely going crazy. It comes out one week from now, Building a Non-Anxious Life. One week it's going to be out and uh that's why i got john on here for this first segment because this book is setting all kinds of publishing records at ramsey

and sales it's doing really good apparently there's some anxious folk out there yeah can i tell you the coolest thing that's happened so far the numbers are amazing and they're fun like no no doubt about it making money is great and helping people this many people saying hey helping that number of people is what's important yeah what's been really amazing dave is um as a part of any book sale you send out um galley copies which are just for the press right and you know that and it's i'm doing these interviews podcasts podcasts podcasts podcast radio interviews from people all over the place and we're getting done with the podcast and they're saying hey you got a second i read this book and my wife and i sat down i had a hard conversation last night or i just pre-ordered three of these books for my family members and so the folks who

are getting the early early drafts of these things yeah they're not being a broadcaster they're being a person they're they're turning it's it's it's been really powerful um if you turn if you turn media people into humans, this is a magical book. So, yeah, I'm getting excited to get it out there, man. Yeah, that's cool. Anxiety is not the problem. It's the symptom. It's the fire alarm going off that says something's broken.

Right. And so you talk about the six choices in your daily choices in the book that we can make to build a solid foundation in our life so when something scary comes at us, we can be prepared instead of overwhelmed with anxiety. Right. And most people say, where do I start? Where do I start? Where do I start? We've all heard of the phrase, the attention economy. I think that is a scandalously positive spin on what I like to call the distraction economy or the look over here economy. And so we've been trained for the last 25 to 50 years. If you've got a problem, it's somebody else's fault. Buy this, scroll this, run over here, look over here here numb out netflix it away

instead of getting to the root problem and the challenge with that is your body knows yeah your body knows it doesn't matter how nice your cars are your body knows you're probably about to get fired it doesn't matter how many dates you've been on, your body knows my marriage is falling apart. And so you have to start by choosing reality. And that's just step one, right? What is the actual state of your health? When's the last time you got a blood test? When's the last time you sat with a doctor and said, I'm not feeling great? How overweight are you? When's the last time you sat with your wife or your husband across the table and said, we're not all right. Or when your kid walks in their house and they just immediately beeline into the room and they slam their door and you just go, and said, we're not all right. Or when your kid walks in their house

and they just immediately beeline into the room and they slam their door and you just go, oh, it's those teenagers, your body knows. That's not right. That's not right. And so you have to own reality, choose reality. That's step one, right? And there's six of those choices.

And we just, we pull them apart in the book and just say, hey man, here's the problem. And here's how to fix it. The good news is if you order it in the last week here before it actually comes out, for $20, you get $75 worth of free bonus items, including instant access to Dr. John's talk, Smoke, Fire, and Freedom, which he did the other day in Chicago at the SMART conference. It was a big hit. The e-book of Building a Non-Anxious life and the audio book of building a non-anxious life will also be delivered to you uh next week when the book comes out all of that for just 20

dollars um next uh one week or one weekend one hour later uh you won't be able to get those deals as soon as tuesday the third gets here that's uh that's all gone it's just the book is for sale at that point. And so, hey, we want to help you guys out. This is an important subject, and this is a fabulous treatment of an important subject. Go to RamseySolutions.com, hit the bookstore, get the $20 book, Building a Non-Anxious Life this week while you still can with all of the add-ons it's a great deal and you know we're real careful at ramsey we have a a uh a high percentage like a hundred percent of our of our books are on the bestseller list uh we're not a publishing outfit that just prints

stuff and hope something works out we're very very selective very careful and we beat the snot out of these manuscripts these authors the marketing plans the whole thing to make sure that we're actually serving you guys that way when we bring you the next book you know it's also going to be good it's not we're just throwing crap out there to see if you guys will get a shovel or not i was gonna say i i've defended two dissertations and i'd rather do that a third one than sit in front of you guys and defend my manuscript again y'all i mean it's it's yeah we believe to be unclear is to be unkind y'all are very clear very kind very kind i think you're wrong galoney no i love it man it really sucks you need to get to the point that's right.

Iron sharpens iron. Wow. Could you have said this in one page instead of 114? But yeah, man, it's a refinement process. But you end up with a book that's clean and very clear and direct, which is the opposite of most of the publishing industry. And helpful. And we're not just throwing stuff out there on paper to see if it'll work.

Paper's too dead cum expensive to do that. So, ramsaysolutions.com slash store. You can hit the bookstore there, the store with all of our stuff in it, and pre-order this new book, Building a Non-Anxious Life. You've got one week to do it and get all of the goodies. So your hope for this when someone reads it is what? My hope is someone who reads this, the first thing they do is they feel not alone. And I think most of us are spinning out in our own minds, in our own cars, behind our own

headphones, thinking we're the only ones feeling like this, that our marriages are the only ones like this. So I want people to read this book and not feel alone. And I want to provide a picture. I tell a lot of stories from calls I've had in my own personal life. Oh, dude, I'm not the only one. And the second one is I want people to have a roadmap just to do something different. Their parents did the best they could. They just had a limited amount of tools in their toolkit. The culture is telling them a completely disastrous other thing to do. This is a roadmap to build a life that quite frankly, you deserve it. You deserve that peace in your life because man,'s hard life's hard and so on those moments that when life's not

just slapping you around and it's a map it's a it's a guide it's a roadmap now i think you might actually discover that your facebook friends aren't real friends right right exactly or you might which might be a revelation for some of you i don't know facebook friends would actually meet with you for coffee or for a drink or for some nachos if you'd actually just say, hey, date and time, here's where I'm going to be. Maybe. Or maybe not. Maybe you'd realize, oh, they're not for real. I need to do something different. You might

realize my marriage is better than I thought it was and while things are good, we can start playing for the next stage that's coming. If you think they're really good friends, let's just have a COVID thing and see if they show up. Exactly. Yes. You'll find out who's real real fast real fast all right building a non-anxious life dr john deloney at one week to go guys go get it at ramsay solutions.com don't miss out thanks john this is the ramsay show This is The Ramsey Show.

Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. We're glad you're here, America. Thank you for joining us. Sarah is in Charlotte, North Carolina. Hi, Sarah. Welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi. Thank you so much for having me.

How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? So I have a two-part question. The first part of my question is, at what baby step do I figure out if I get term life insurance? I'm a single mom to two daughters. And then the second part of that question is, if it's worth it to me um just based on the fact that um the other parent um my daughter father and i are no longer together um and there's a history of domestic violence so i don't necessarily trust what will be done with life insurance and my parents don't live in the country

um so i'm just wondering if that's a viable option for me and what baby step I would incorporate that to. Okay. It's not a baby step. It's a now. Sorry. It does not go in a baby step. The life insurance is a purchase out of your budget immediately. What baby step do you put car gasoline in? Not a baby step. You put it in your budget.

You need car gasoline to run your car. You need to take care of your children if something happens to you. And so life insurance is an immediate purchase for you and so who is going to take care of the children if you were to pass away um their father um i thought he had domestic violence issues yeah he still has custody um due to the fact that the domestic violence is against me and not my children. Oh, that's encouraging. It was just you. Yeah. I feel so much better.

It was just me. Yeah. That's sarcastic. They did supervise visitation for a few months, and then they deemed him fit. So in the event that I passed, unfortunately, they would go to him, and as someone who has filed bankruptcy twice, I don't trust what he will do with that money. No, he doesn't get the money. He gets the kids.

Right. Okay. So there is, if I were to go and speak to someone, there is a way. You would have the beneficiary of your life insurance be a trust, and the trust would be managed by a trustee, which is someone you select that you trust with money and to do your wishes and the trust would say something like the children can have the income off of the investment what do you make a year about forty eight thousand dollars okay so

if you had a five hundred thousand dollar policy and you instructed the trust to invest that in mutual funds and it made fifty50,000 a year, that would replace the income that you've created. You probably don't need that much because hypothetically, this guy's actually going to feed these children anyway. So, but, you know, let's just say that you did a 48,000. Okay. So $4,000 a month. If it made $4,000 a month, you could distribute that to him as child support, and he gets a monthly income to take care of the children for the good of the children as long as he is taking care of the children. The money goes where the kids are.

So if the state comes and takes them because he commits domestic violence on them, then the money would just be that you would instruct the trust to keep the money and build it up for when they're an adult. Okay, that makes sense. But you don't give him $50,000 or $500,000. Correct, yeah. You give him monthly income to help feed the children because he's not capable of even managing his own money. So we need to send some money over there for food what a disaster this is not id this is not this is not fun for me i don't

i don't love the idea the kids going over there and i really don't love the idea the kids going over there with money but i would rather them go over there with money than without money yeah um it's not been a fun four years for sure yeah so like if God forbid something were to happen I know all of the children they're five and seven they're pretty young yeah like obviously that's my concern and my parents don't live in the United States so I wouldn't be able to make them like an executor. They can be a trustee. They don't have to be a U.S. citizen to be a trustee.

They can be in charge of the money. They can be in charge of the money. You can leave them as the trustee. Okay, it could be someone who does not live in the country necessarily. That was my other concern was they're not a U.S. citizen. They don't have to be. They're managing money on behalf of a trust, not on behalf of themselves. So, you know, if you go to mamabearlegalforms.com,

you can get what's called a family trust form and get a will, and the will says that the money is going to be and then buy a life insurance policy from Zander Insurance and make the beneficiary of the life insurance, meaning where the money goes upon your death, the name of that trust, the Sarah Trust, I'll call it, okay? And it's the big chunk of money, whether it's $300,000, $400,000, is about all it needs to be here, goes into that and then instruct your parents to invest the money as the trustees and to disperse a certain amount of money per month to him as child support

okay and if he no longer is managing the children the trust no longer sends the money to him okay so if he no longer is managing the children, the trust no longer sends the money to him. Okay. So if he were to, well, I guess this is hypothetical. We don't know. Okay. So, I mean, would your parents take the children if they could? If they could, they would.

Obviously, being from a different country, myself included um it's a bit trickier um i've entertained the idea of moving back home but um he would not allow it but i think in a hypothetical where his back was in a corner um and they were my parents would be willing to yeah um take them yeah so i mean i want to stipulate a bunch of things there that as long as they end, if they end up taking care of the children because the state takes the kids from him at some point, then they would also be receiving the money from this trust. I want to make sure these kids are taken care of. That's all we're doing here. Okay.

So, the purpose of life insurance is to replace the care through money that you give your family. And so if a guy's making $100,000 a year and his family is eating out of that, he needs a million dollars in life insurance because a million invested at making 10% will be $100,000 a year. We've replaced that guy if he dies. We replaced the income that he's creating. We replaced the guy. But we replaced the income that he's creating that sets him up to be able to win

or sets the kids to be able, the family that's remaining, up to be able to win financially and not make more money than they would have made with him here, but at least replace what he was doing. In your case, Sarah, she, what she was doing, replace what you're doing to care for these children income-wise because your ex is obviously not responsible enough to send you money over there, so you're taking care of these kids.

He's not responsible enough with money. He's not responsible enough with his own emotions. This is just not a good guy. There's nothing in this story that sounded exciting to me for him. I'm so sorry. Sorry you're facing all that. But Mama Bear Legal Forms, get your will and trust in place. Zander Insurance, get $300,000, $400,000 in life insurance.

It's not very expensive. It's about the cost of a pizza. And you can make that fit in your budget especially as you get out of debt and start to have more and more margin so god bless you honey sorry what y'all have been through over there open phones here at 888-825-5225 some of the most courageous people in the world are those that are the other side of a domestic violence situation and i'm an old redneck hillbilly i don't even like the phrase domestic violence it makes something extremely horrible and rage inducing sound very lame it's not lame at all. It changes family trees. It puts a curse on a family that is unbelievable,

that can only be broken by the power of God. I mean, it is a nasty mess when somebody's engaging in that stuff. And sadly, in the world we're in, we get to see it fairly often. And it just still just, I'm just an old redneck. It just pisses me off. It's that simple. This is the Ramsey show. Ken Coleman Ramsey personality is my co-host today.

Thank you for joining us. America open phones at triple eight-825-5225. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage, Charlie and Katie are with us. Hey, guys, how are you? Hey, we're doing well, thanks. Better than we deserve. I hear you. Welcome, guys.

Where do y'all live? We live in Chandler, Arizona, which is a suburb of Phoenix. Absolutely. Good to have y'all. Welcome to Nashville. So you're KTSA listeners, maybe? No? No. You're listening to us on the radio there? Okay. is a suburb of phoenix absolutely good to have y'all welcome to nashville so your ktsa listeners maybe no no you're listening to us on the radio there okay because that's one of our biggest we just watched on youtube yeah also youtube youtubers all right that'll go well youtubers

will like ken's sweater today yes so does baskin robbins and so uh oh dave with the jokes uh this is gonna be good it's gonna be a good show today. It's going to be a good day. Yes, it is. It's going to be fun. I can just tell. All right, guys, how much debt did you pay off? We paid off $335,000. $335,000.

How long did this take? 60 months. Wow. And your range of income during that five years? Started at $200,000 and ended at $292,000. Whoa. What do you all do for a living? I'm a registered nurse.

I guess you are. And I'm a financial advisor. Of course you are. That's perfect. What a great combination. Two great careers, obviously doing very well at them. $335,000. Did you pay off your house?

We did. Uh-oh. You're weird, people. I love it. I love it. Very cool. So what's this house worth? It's about $800, people. I love it. I love it. Very cool. So what's this house worth? About $800,000.

Of course it is. And Mr. Financial Advisor, how much is in your investments? About $900,000 with about $50,000 in precious metals and cryptocurrency. I love it. So here we go. Other than $50,000, you've been really smart. Well done. Great job, guys. I love it, man. So a

million seven, right? Yeah, net worth. And how old are you guys? I'm 49. I'm 52. And you did this by 50 years old. Wow, look at you. I'm so proud of y'all. Way to go. That's so fun. Okay, tell us what happened. What started this journey with paying off the house thing five years ago? Yeah, so Dave, our journey really started back in 2012. After about 10 years of marriage, unfortunately, we found ourselves in the middle of a divorce. Uh-oh. Yep. And as you can imagine, that's a pretty difficult thing to go through.

You too? Yes, sir. Oh, wow. Yeah. And at that point, a good friend of mine had recommended a ministry that you may be familiar with called Divorce Care. Absolutely. And I went through Divorce Care, and they teach you about things like how to deal with anger and loneliness and depression and all of the fun things that go with the train wreck called divorce. And as a part of that, you're in one of the segments, actually.

Yeah. In one of the versions for Financial financial peace talking about things like how to stay out of credit card debt and use a budget wisely and things of that sort so the program was exceptionally helpful for me it really softened my heart and so much so that even though we were divorced and not living together at the time and whatnot um i mentioned the program to kate and she attended you know uh three or four months later. So, and at that point, we, you know, after two years of being fully divorced, we got to sitting around and talking one day that, you know, how did we end up in this situation? What happened to us? And what if we had gotten

a second chance? And part of divorce care and the wonderful part of that ministry, which we have now been a part of for the last seven years is reconciliation. And by the grace of God and the wonderful part of that ministry, which we have now been a part of for the last seven years, is reconciliation. And by the grace of God and the power of Jesus Christ, we were able to reconcile and restore our marriage after three years of being divorced. And so that's just been a real blessing for us. One of the non-negotiables for us when we got back together was we never wanted to end up in this situation again so um getting our finances in order was certainly going to be a cornerstone of that of that process so we attended financial peace university back in 2016 or 17 as part of the reconciliation process correct to get on the same page correct which is what reconcile means exactly wow look at you Look at you guys. Whoa, what a journey.

So going into the original divorce, what percentage of the marriage problems were money problems? Money fights. Good percentage. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I think we were pretty normal. It's the number one cause of divorce.

It certainly didn't help anything. I mean, we made a lot of mistakes along the way. We bought a rental property with a HELOC. We, you know, used to take trips and spend, you know, wildly with credit cards and things of that sort. And while I would say that the money issues were not the primary cause of divorce, they certainly did not help. That's for sure. Yeah, put extra stress on top of stress. Correct. Right, right. And coming together gave you a common language uh as a part of the whole reconciliation process yeah yeah wow that is a great story i love you guys you're amazing what a fabulous life you've built oh man and i healed a healed life yeah there's a lot of healing that goes.

This is a wholeness. This is not somebody that tripped backwards into this. You walked headlong into it. Yes, sir. And it's been a while now. So we got divorced in 2012, and we reconciled at the end of 2014, almost three years later. So we've been together since. So we're coming up on nine years.

Nine years remarried. Correct. Yes. Okay. Wow. And how long were you married prior to that? Almost ten. Nine okay so nine on each side so far okay all right good deal wow wow and your kiddos are with you what are their ages uh pierce our oldest is 16 and nina our youngest is 14 okay so they were around through every bit of this yes they experienced both sides

and the middle they did yeah wow what a thing you've done for your family tree not counting the money even but just the whole thing the healing this is impressive yeah it's uh i'm really struck you know by the emotion um and and that has to be so rewarding to be standing here today at the finish line knowing that you guys did what very few people will do which is actually try to reconcile much less actually do it I'm curious what did the FPU getting on the same page with money and when you guys finally got back together how did that affect your communication in other areas of your marriage now that you're coming back and go we're giving this another shot

definitely made it much better we were were more focused. We had a common goal moving forward and that kind of bound us together and everything moving forward. Rowdy. Love it. Yeah, I would say it definitely improved our communication. So I like what you said in the divorce care video about when you start off with a budget, you're going to be terrible at it the first month and then get a little bit better month two, a little bit better month three. And that certainly was us. And we met on a weekly basis. I'm the nerd of the, you know, the financial advisor, the family. So, you know, those meetings used to last an hour and a half, then an hour, then 45 minutes, so on and so forth. Now we can do a budget meeting about a

minute, you know, two minutes or something like that. So, but it really did help to improve our communication. And I would say that when we were apart or before we were apart the first time we were married, we had separate bank accounts. We had one joint account for, you know, dual bills and so forth. But then we both had separate bank accounts. But combining everything now has just really helped us out tremendously. And just throwing grenades into the other account all the time. Correct.

What are you doing over there? I'm curious to know, did this debt-free journey have a tangible effect on you all making more money? I think without a doubt. I mean, I think we didn't have peace in a lot of ways prior to getting divorced. And now I'd say that, you know, we certainly don't fight about money. We don't fight about, you don't fight about you know anything like that anymore so yeah no we're on a different it's a different level of communication and understanding and relationship indeed yeah it's a whole different whole different set of people yeah be not conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind you guys are impressive i love it it. Fabulous. Wow.

What a fabulous story. All right, bring the kiddos up. They need to be in the debt-free scream. They got to be enjoying the end result of this journey anyway. So excellent work. Hey, we've got the live and give box for you, the Baby Steps Millionaires book, the Total Money Makeover book,

the Financial Peace University, and you can give that to somebody because I'm sure you're constantly ministering to others now you can't keep yourself with that journey from doing it so i'm so proud of y'all thank you for sharing an amazingly inspiring story it's just your heroes man i mean you faced some real demons you really faced them down and run them out with a stick man that's just uh that's beautiful just very very impressive very well done all right it's charlie and katie pierce and nina they got out of debt but that's only a part of the story 335 000 paid off house and everything baby steps millionaires redeemed lives 60 months making

200 to 292 count it down let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Yeah! Woo-hoo! Ah, they're free as so much. Oh, my goodness. Powerful. This is the Ramsey Show.

Thanks for listening, America. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Matthew is with us in Fort Worth, Texas. Hi, Matthew. Welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? My father has retired and owns a small RV park, and he recently asked me to use my buying power to buy another property to mimic the RV park that he owns, but on a larger scale. So I recently made an offer on a home and put earnest money down, but I'm just kind of rethinking the whole thing and just wanted to get your opinion on that on a home and put earnest money down, but I'm just kind of rethinking the whole thing and just wanted to get your opinion on that. The home and property we are purchasing is listed at $295.

We paid $295 for it. The home is where the second RV park is going to be? Yes. Okay. I'm a little bit confused uh he he can't afford to buy another rv park so he wants you to buy one for him well he knows that my buying power is capable of buying a bigger piece of land because he doesn't have a job anymore he's retired so he knows that as far as buying power i can not buying power borrowing power right okay right borrowing power is is bigger anyway so we could get a bigger

property and the investment overall would end up paying more yeah but that would be yours not his correct so the the terms he was going to say is he puts the initial infrastructure in to get it um they get it making money and paying for the the mortgage of the property and we would split any profits above the mortgage of the property 50 50 okay are you interested in doing this or do you feel obligated to consider it because it's your dad i am interested i think that the the property is beautiful that i've i've frequently hung out at the rv park that they own and it's a really nice lifestyle uh really good people that you meet you get plenty of opportunity to spread the word to lots of different people.

And I think that the security that the cash flow brings in just brings the fact that if I broke my leg at work, I wouldn't, you know, my children wouldn't starve. So you're married? Yes. Okay. And what does your wife say about all this? She, I'll be honest, she is willing to follow me into whatever I get us into. So I don't think she would voice it even if she disagreed with it. But so far, she seems like she's down to follow

me wherever I go. Yeah. Well, if you break your leg at work, your kids aren't going to starve. And then your language, follow me into this, I think is a pretty good indicator of how you see this. Right. I don't think you think this is as good an idea as your dad does. You see risk he doesn't see. Yeah. I see a payment that is a little higher than I can currently afford. It's not much higher than I can afford, but I think it is higher than I can afford. And unless my dad is willing to immediately come in and fork over the money

and we get renters in there quick to where the cash flow is coming, I don't see a problem in it. But, man, if we get out there and there's no renters then we're a big problem you know yeah and the infrastructure could be almost as expensive as the property and your dad doesn't have any money well he does he does have he has enough to lay the infrastructure and i'm a plumber and we have electricians in the family so we do the work ourselves um we've put in four rv spots in a weekend and then rented them the very next week for 450 a spot so i have no doubt that for 35 40 000 we could lay the infrastructure for 10 to 15 spots

okay so now you're in partners with your dad on a piece of property that your home is on and also contains a business that you're in a partnership with your dad. He doesn't have the money to do all this, but he has the money to put up a little bit of money for some plumbing, raw materials, and you guys dig your own ditches. Right. He has the money to do the total infrastructure. I mean, I need-

What is that? I estimated about $40,000 is what the infrastructure will cost. And he has plenty to cover that. Yeah. There's a rule in business. It takes twice as long, cost twice as much. And you're not the exception, right? These are the three rules of business. Okay. So, uh, Okay, so this has got about six different places that it can go wrong, and only one place it can go right. So it's really scaring me, okay? Your dad is a salesman, and he sold you on this,

and you're not opposed to the concept if the piece of property was separate from your home it would remove one of the six problems but if this goes sideways you got a bunch of half-baked rv crap in your backyard right of your home on a payment you can't afford. That's what happens if this goes sideways. If you're, God forbid, something happened to you or something happened to him, and you weren't able to complete this plan and manage this business, now the home where your children live is at risk.

This is, and they have a premium spot. They charge $750 for their spot. It's really beautifully done. I have no doubt that slowly we could get to that point, but we could get spots that point but we could get to buckton quickly that pay 450 a piece and um or not i mean it might be that you have no appeal whatsoever and no price you'll get them in there yeah well i've done some research in the area every part nearby is full there are two major lakes right on either side of us within 15 minutes on either side of us

and um and it's a it's a beautiful area it's four and a half acres well i will tell you the rules that i run my life with and then you get to decide what you're going to do okay number one i don't do partnerships the only ship that won't sail is a partnership because uh because of all the Ds that can happen. The Ds are default, disinterest, drug use, divorce, death, disability. And you've got to think about what happens in every one of those cases with both of you. What happens if your dad gets disabled? What happens if you get disabled? What happens if he decides he doesn't want to screw with it anymore?

What happens if he just decides he doesn't like you? What happens? You know, what happens? What happens? What happens? All you've got is an entrance strategy. You have no exit plans whatsoever because your only assumption is that this is going to work. And that's not how business works.

So you have to have a so number one i don't do partnerships number two i don't borrow for business under any circumstances and in a very real sense you are here number three i don't combine where my children and my grandchildren and my puppy dog and my wife lives with my business property thereby if the business goes bye-bye, my family's homeless. That's a violation too. So there's just a bunch of things here that you're willing to do that I'm not willing to do. And you called me, and so my job is not to be a dream killer.

My job is to be a nightmare preventer. There's a difference in being a dream killer and a nightmare preventer. And there's a whole lot more can go wrong with this, Matthew, than go right. I mean, everything has to go exactly as planned for this to even work. And nothing ever goes exactly as planned. I couldn't do it because it violates about four different things I refused to do. And there were six words that he said towards the end. It's more than I can afford.

And that's where we humans, certainly Americans, it's how we get into this debt, the student loan debt, the skyrocketing credit card debt. It's more than I can afford. That's the end of the sentence. Wait. Get to a place that you can't afford. It's more than I can afford.

The conversation should be over there, and we've got to, as adults, and I'm guilty of this, we've all done this, we want it, but we can't afford it. We've got to go, if we and I'm guilty of this. We've all done this. We want it, but we can't afford it. We've got to go, if we can't afford it, it's done. You've got to walk away. I can't afford it. Conversation over. It's hard, though.

It is, absolutely. You get caught up with a family dream here, and working together just sounds fun until it's not fun. So, Matthew, I've given you all the warnings. If you go forward anyway, at least address those and do it in a document that everybody signs. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, folks. Ken Coleman here.

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