The Ramsey Show - App - This Is a Major Problem With Our Culture (Hour 2)

Episode Date: November 22, 2023

🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create amazing relationships. I'm your host, Jade Warshaw. I am joined by Dr. John Deloney who is making silly faces at the camera if you're watching on YouTube we're going to take your calls all hour give us a call the number is 888-825-5225 and we're going to try to help you out it's the day before Thanksgiving and I am

excited I've actually been really on 10 this whole month because John you got your fancy book out well i don't know how fancy it is but i'm pretty proud of it super fancy thank you number one you're on a cover and you're fancy and two the stuff in it's awesome and three we sold a bajillion redefining anxiety quick reads and your book is way surpassing the way mine got out so it's a pretty pretty exciting man well it is exciting and you can still pre-order it uh the actual drop date as they say is not until december so until

then pre-order because you get some cool things uh in the process you get three months free of every dollar premium which is the business if i do say so myself so go ahead and pre-order it today here's the thing it's ten dollars like it's ten dollars you can't even get you can't get anything for ten dollars anymore that's two cups of coffee two cups of coffee and not at starbucks because you don't even think about it because starbucks drinks are that's a cup and a half at starbucks okay ten dollars and you can finally get to the bottom of why you have not been able to stick to your budget. That is the number one question. Jade, I made the budget.

Just can't stick to it. Or Jade, I tried it, but for some reason it's just not working for me. We are getting to the bottom of that in this quick read once and for all. And by the way, it's called a quick read because you read it quick. It's fast. You can read this thing in maybe two, two and a half hours.

If you're me, it might take you like 2.45 because I read a little bit slower, John. I don't know why I always have. Here's what's also good about that. If you are 55 and you make a good income and you still can't figure out how to hold it together, you can read it. And if you are 14, you can hand this to your kids and say, I want you to read this now because you're going to, by the time you get there, they're going to have some other scheme they're trying to get you on. They're not going to be Bitcoin. It's going to be, I don't know, whatever they're trading, stuffed animals, toys, whatever. Read this. It's for everybody. It's awesome. The book's called Money's Not a Math

Problem because it's not. It starts up here in the old cranium. That's what we're talking about. The things you believe, the lies that you believe, and anybody can read it. It is me talking to you. It's not a bunch of facts and numbers. It just it's just us talking so pick up your copy today i would be so grateful if you did or give it to somebody as a gift they'd be so grateful if you did let's go straight to the phone lines we've got lenay in jacksonville florida my state home state what's going on lenay hi i am i'm calling to see if i can get you all's opinion or advice on whether or not i should sell my home. Okay. Just a little background information. I purchased my home in December of last year. Now this was purchased prior to me finding the Dave Ramsey steps. Okay. I am on Ramsey step number two. I have $95,000 in debt.

That is a mix of student loans and some consumer debt there. Do you mind breaking that down a little bit further just so I can have a good idea of it? Absolutely. Absolutely. So $70,000 for student loans. Okay. And the remainder would go to car,

which is about $1,500, not much left on that, credit cards and personal loans. Okay. So $70,000 on student loans, not $7,000. Yes. Okay. Sorry, I misheard. $70,000.

I gotcha. Okay. thousand on student loans not seven yes okay sorry i misheard 70 000 i gotcha okay and then the other the other uh 13 000 is about various things yes credit cards and um yeah personal personal loans there okay keep going keep telling us more you got it my take-home pay or, yes, after insurance is taken out and for 3B investments is around $6,600 to about $8,000 a month. And that is if I pick up some extra shifts with another practice that I work with. So my mortgage is $3,600 a month. And it's just, I want to get y'all's advice on, Hey, can I buckle down and for sure, just still try to make, tackle this debt or is it best for me to go ahead and sell this home so I can have more to be able to put towards the debt? Because again, I'm about, about 95,000. Yeah. Sheesh. Okay. First, thank you for for sharing all that because it's not easy to get

on the air and just lay it bare right so thank you um absolutely so as it says yeah your your your mortgage is more than half of your income on a on a lower month those months that you don't do the the extra um the extra work you've got the 403B contribution. Are you able to stop that? I can, yeah. Okay. How much a month is going towards that? 600. Oh, 600. Okay. That's helpful. Okay, good. I like to hear that. So now we're doing better. So now we're closer to 7,200. So I like that. The point is, can we find another 20% of income to keep coming in all the time so that we can get this from 50% at least into the 30%, 29% range? Because that I can feel good with. Does that make sense? So we just found $600

just in your 403 contribution. And by the way, I'm not saying that this is the situation for always. This is just temporary while we're paying the debt off, right? Fair. So tomorrow I turn that off. I turn that off instantly so you can get that money back. And then if you add your overtime work, we're getting there, right? So obviously that's not, like nobody wants to work overtime the rest of getting there, right? So obviously, that's not, like, nobody wants to work overtime the rest of their life, John. So the next part is we've got to get this debt paid off, and then we've got to get our income up. Is there a trajectory that you see your income going up long term that's not you overtiming and side hustling? Not currently. What do you do for a living?

I'm a nurse practitioner. You're telling me there's not a job trajectory for you as a nurse practitioner? Again, remember, we're just looking for 25%. We're looking for 25% more money. And you're paying to a 403B.

Are you working at a nonprofit? Yes, correct. Okay. Are you at a 403B. Are you working at a nonprofit? Yes, correct. Okay. Are you at a university? No, no. No. Can I, like, I hear in your voice that you're trying, you want us to tell you to sell this house.

No, I mean, honestly, I love my home. I really do. It's just a matter of, you know, I'm already trying to work some extra shifts outside of my primary role so that I can get that extra income. So then it becomes, okay, how else can I bring in some extra income to really make a dent in the debt? I may have missed this. And truthfully, obviously, I want to pay it off as soon as possible. I may need to be a bit more patient, be a bit more realistic in it, you know, going away. Me and Jay don't like patient. We like to just get stuff done. If you sold this house right now, what would you pocket? I purchased price was $415. Currently, it's looking at about $440. Okay.

So after your realtor fees, you wouldn't take home a ton, but it'd be some, right? Right, right. This is tough. Look, at the end of the day, you can look at this equation. I love, honestly, I love my home. I would love to stay in it, but at the same time, you know, I want to be able to. Yeah. You want freedom. It's paycheck to paycheck. Right. I get it. And the thing is, you've got one of two paths here. You can either find a way that you're earning 20 percent more. Right. Because, again,

the 25 percent is off your gross. It's not your gross after your deductions. Right. So we found some of it with the 600. You got to find 20 percent more income. And you have to ask yourself, is this me getting my career up over time? Or am I not going to find the 25% and I'm going to get out of this house? The choice is yours. This is The Ramsey Show. What's going on? This is The Ramsey Show. I'm Jade Warshaw. This is Dr. John Deloney on the right of me. And we are taking your calls all afternoon long. Give us a call. 888-825-5225 is the number. I will talk to you

about the things that have to do with your money. And John will jump in on that because he knows the stuff too. But he's the guy that's going to help you with the relational stuff, what's going on,

all the other stuff, right? I feel like money is almost, it's never just money, right? It's always... Always something going on. It's always something going on and we'll help you with that. So give us a call. Um, we'd be happy to have you on the line. Let's go to the lines. We've got Lakin in Nashville, Nashville, Tennessee in the bill. What's going on Lakin? How are you guys? We're doing good. How can we help you?

Well, I was just curious of how I could do better or what I could change. I don't know if I'm missing something, but I'm 23. I'm a student. I work part-time. I don't have any debt. I have some money in 401k and I have some stocks. I have $2,500 in a high-yield savings account and then about $3,500 just in a regular savings account. And so I'm just wondering what else I could be doing. How old did you say you are? 23. Okay. What's your living situation? I live with a roommate in just a little townhome. Cool, cool, cool. And what's your job? What are you earning?

Because you're doing a good job, an excellent job. Thank you. I work at Starbucks. I'm a barista, so I get free tuition to them, so I don't have to pay for school. I make about $800 a month with everything taken out. And then through college, my parents give me $1,300 a month. Okay. So you got kind of a combined situation there. Cause I was going to say, how did you manage to save this money? Making $800 a month. We got a little allowance here for mom and dad. I'm not mad at that.

So what are you worried about? You're winning across every metric for every college student I know. Well, I wouldn't necessarily say I'm worried. I just want to put myself in a really good position. My parents have done a good job of preparing their lives for me and my sister and helping us out. And I want to be able to do that starting now just for my future and then my kids future and just setting up like my whole family line on a good trajectory so i don't know what else i can be doing look i'm giving you a slow clap i'm just giving you the mighty ducks slow clap because i just love that you're thinking like this do you understand at 23 thinking generationally dude my brain cells were not doing that at 23 and i'm so grateful that you are um hey let's walk through what you told me no debt excellent um you told me you've got a 401k through starbucks that's great um and

you're contributing to that and then you told me you've got uh about 6 000 bucks saved some of it's in a high yield and some of it's just an a regular savings. How much you got in stocks? I just have like $1,000 in stocks. All that's been free. Starbucks gives us stocks every year. And then in my 401k, I have just about $15,000 a little over that.

$15,000 in a 401? Wow. So, look. Again, I'm just very, very good. Shook. So very good. What I would do is the only, I'm just going to walk through and just literally be a fine toothed comb because you're doing such a great job. The money you have saved, I'd probably put it all in the high yield savings account just

so you can get a better rate of return. They're pretty high right now. So that's good. And for what I'm just going to call that is I'm going to call that your three to six month expenses. Right. Because it covers your your rent for a couple of months. How much is your rent, by the way? Well, my portion would come out to maybe $1,300 with like all the utilities and whatnot. Okay, so what I would do is I would sit down with a calculator or sit down with your budget and calculate out what your expenses are,

like basic. I'm not talking about the budget with all the bells and whistles. I'm talking about just the basic expenses it takes for you to get, you know, to live if you were to lose your job. Create, find out what the number is for six months of expenses. And that's your next goal. That's what I want you to save up. You've got 6,000 now. What do you need to put with it in order for that to happen? The stocks, you know, we're not really stock people around here. It's kind of one of those risky things. So I probably, it's not like you're buying it, right? They're just giving it to you. Yeah. Yeah. You know, at some point point if you're ready to cash it out because you're trying to buy a house or something great do that um right now the house is not on fire so i'm not like sell

them sell them immediately but what i do want you to come away from this conversation is that if you're going to buy investment stocks are not what i would tell you to buy right i'd want you to buy mutual funds or etfs that have a lot in it, right? We're not going to do single stocks because that's the riskiest way to invest. So learn that from this conversation. I love that you have your 401k. Technically, you're a little ahead of yourself because you started investing before you've gotten your three to six months saved. Right now, you've got about three months saved. So I'm not going to tell you to stop but I want you to get up to six months saved because I think that's just going to be best for you because it's only you and you're working at Starbucks and mom and dad let's be

honest are providing more than half of your income so let's bump that up very actively and other than that good job you know after this my next big goal would be, when do you graduate, by the way? I graduate, I believe, in a year and a half. Okay, cool. If all goes to plan. You're a junior? Yes. You know, I was actually looking online for the past, like, I don't know, six months of internships with Ramsey Solutions because I was so close.

Yeah, keep looking. Come on over here. Yeah, keep, send an email to HR because we want people like you around here. And I'll tell you this. If you've got a bunch of investment vehicles, I want you to move to the very top of your investment list, you. You are the person I want you to do. I don't know what that means.

Here's what it means. Make sure you get out of college 18 months from now and you don't owe anybody anything. Make sure you have done every internship you can get your hands on, made coffee in every meeting room you can get in, ask your professors, hey, is there a way that I could get invited to this? I want to see this. Can I work backstage at the showcase? Whatever the thing is, leave no stone unturned so that when you graduate, you don't owe anybody anything and And you have a slate of experiences to lay down in front of a future employer and say,

I've already been there. I'm ready to rock and roll. And so you're investing in experiences that, I mean, you're so, I can't tell you the number of adults that we talked to who are 50 and 60. They don't have $15,000 in a 401. You're so far ahead.

So far. So your investment is in you. I want you to be ready to run and gun 18 months from now and you walk across that stage. And you're already researching internships, man. Good grief. People who are worried about next generation need to talk to people like Lakin. I know, that's right.

My dog has it on lock. We're going to be alright. She's going to be great. Wow. Look at this, John. Yeah, if she was looking for a goal, probably my next goal would be to not have to accept any money from my parents. That would be the next thing on my horizon. It's like, okay, they're giving her this stipend

or allowance per se now while she's in school. That's nice of them to do that. When she goes out, graduates, gets her big girl job, it's like, okay, cut them out. And now, honestly, the next thing for her to do is save up to buy a home, save up for a down payment. And, you know, she's set herself. This is why we teach it, John. This is why. Because she, I look at this and I go, man, if at 23, my life would be, I mean, you can't really say it like that because what we go through makes us who we are. But my point is, this is what I want for my kids. This right here. I don't want them to have to make the dumb mistakes that I made with debt.

I want them to be set up like this. And it's like, hey, what do I want to do next? The world's my oyster. And think of it this way, parents parents sometimes we think that if we take all the we clear all the struggles out of the way so that our kids can have the fastest quickest path from from wherever we are to success and sometimes we try to clear all the hurdles because we have some guilt we were working when they were young we didn't have we couldn't buy them all the stuff when they were little we had to cancel the athletics uh because we couldn't afford the travel sports one year whatever and we try to clear the path. I want you to think of it like this. It's like going into a gym and your kid is in there exercising to get stronger and you

take all the weight off the bar for him. It's not helping him out. It's not helping him get stronger. It's helping him go to the gym and think they're getting stronger and they're actually, they're either staying the same or they're getting a little bit weaker. But like her parents have done, they've told her, you're going to have a job and they're actually getting, they're either staying the same or they're getting a little bit weaker. But like her parents have done, they've told her, you're going to have a job and you're going to work and you're going to make good grades and you're going to do internships. You're going to graduate and we're going to help you a bit. So you're not taking the weight off

the bar, but you are spotting them. And that's what good parents do, right? They don't clear the deck. They walk alongside you or they walk right behind you, right? Awesome job all around. I love it, man. You're way ahead of the game, Lakin. Well done. This is The Ramsey Show. You are listening to The Ramsey Show. Thanks for hanging out with us today. I am Jade Warshaw, your host. Joined by your other host, his name is Dr. John Deloney, and we are here with you hanging out all afternoon long. We'd love if you gave us a call. The number is 888-825-5225. Today's question of the day is sponsored by Neighborly. Neighborly is your home, your hub for home services. The easiest way to find expert local help is to download the Neighborly app where you can find services, schedule appointments, and get exclusive special offers and discounts. Download the Neighborly app where you can find services, schedule appointments, and get exclusive

special offers and discounts. Download the Neighborly app now to get started. All right, today's question comes from Rebecca in Alabama. Rebecca writes, my 25-year-old sibling is married with three kids, six, three, and three months. The couple has never had consistent employment and one is currently a stay-at-home parent. This person's had multiple job opportunities within walking distance, even some that offer free child care, but they refuse to work. During the entirety of their marriage, they have both begged and borrowed for everything they have. They continue to make very poor financial decisions that have caused them to be behind on rent and car payments. In order to play catch up, they took out a personal loan with their place of employment

that will now cost them more than their original rent each month. They've borrowed thousands from family members claiming to need it for bills, but the bills never get paid. At this point, the children are deeply suffering from the consequences of their parents' poor choices. In what way could an outsider help the situation? I'm seriously considering calling CPS, but that doesn't change their financial or long-term situation. Is this something I should come to terms with and let it work itself out? Any advice on helping someone that is oblivious to their wrongdoings?

Man, this is a mess, so I'm just going to go order of importance. When it comes to children, I simply don't mess around with that. My friends know that. My family knows that. My colleagues know that. I do not mess around with this. Because it's your brother or sister, it's a sibling. Before I called CPS, I would probably take them out for coffee and say, I'm offering to take your three kids in for a period of two or three months while you get your crap together. I will call CPS if you decline this option. Well, wait, can I ask you?

Yes. What point? Because we know it's bad, but we don't know what that means. Yeah, let me clarify. The children are deeply suffering. I want to know what that means yeah let me let me clarify the children are deeply suffering i want to know what that means that that's right and i want to know at what point you john would be like that do that whole thing if i'm taking you for coffee if i find out kids are missing meals if i find out kids are walking around the street at 11 o'clock at night because mom and dad are

watching tv if i find out kids uh three-year-olds are spending the night in neighbor's garages which i've heard about right because they don't have they can't get back in the house yeah i'm calling like the heat's off the air is like right if about, because they can't get back in the house, I'm calling. Like the heat's off, the air's off. Right. If mom and dad are leaving at night and leaving the six-year-old in charge of the three-month-old kind of stuff, I'm calling. I'm either going to offer,

your kids can come stay with me. You have two choices. There is no choice here over the next 60 days where they stay with you. I'm with that, yeah. Now, deeply suffering, if it's mom and dad are sitting there watching TV, I parent differently than that.

It frustrates me and makes me upset. They're not deeply suffering. Sure. If they're having meals, but they're not organic foods, they're not deeply suffering. Sure. I want to be very clear about this,

but assuming the things that I've run across in my professional career, kids are struggling. I'm going to put a very clear thing. So when it comes to kids, I don't mess around with that. I don't play with that. Kids are very, very important. The second thing is, any advice on helping someone that is oblivious to their wrongdoings? I'd reject that. They're not oblivious. They're doing exactly what works because everyone in their life keeps giving them money, period. So they're not oblivious that why in the world would you work if family members keep giving you thousands and thousands

of dollars for you to do whatever you want with it um and by the way family members if you have a family member that comes to you and says hey i really need help to the tune of thousands of dollars to pay bills and you aren't able to help what i would say is i give me the number to the the light bill place and i'll call and pay it give me the number to whatever i will buy you a grocery card at kroger or publics or whatever and we'll take care of it that way you're not just forking i'm not giving you thousands of dollars right because then i'm contributing right oh 100 so um that's number two. Let's take kids off the table because kids is a whole different ballgame.

Yeah. Let's take kids off the table. Clearly mom and dad are contributing to this. Clearly other family members are contributing to this. So in what way can an outsider help a situation like this where they have a sibling that mom and dad are continuing to let make poor decisions or cousin or what?

Nothing. Nothing. And I think one of the hardest things we can do continuing to let make poor decisions or cousin or what? Nothing, nothing. And I think one of the hardest things we can do is watch people we love make decisions that we know are hurting them. Yeah, you wanna try to get in there and fix it. You can't, you haven't been invited in. What you can do is make sure when the call comes and it will, that you have your boundaries in order,

you have your house in order, you're working on you and your marriage and your finances and your parenting. So when the call comes, and it will, can you help that you're in a place that you can help? And the help is not going to be, I'm going to give you a bunch of cash. It might be, I'll take out and help map out a budget with you.

I'll take and give you some hard truth about y'all got to go to work. But we already decided we're going to stay at home with our kids. You can't afford to stay at home with your kids, right? I might do that. But I'm going to work on me right now oh that's so hard you're you're exactly right but that is i sympathize with this person it's so hard it breaks my heart because you're like okay i'm supposed to sit back like this and like i gotta take my hands off the situation because they won't let me like you said

they won't let me in how do you make peace with that and there's no peace i've experienced this personally there is no peace there's no peace you're just like waiting it's a death it's loss yeah so it's it's a grief it's grieving it's pure grief and by the way i think that one of the great cancers of our current culture is everybody trying to insert themselves into situations families they haven't i haven't asked for your help. Yeah, you can't fix it. Do it this way. Do it this way.

I haven't helped. Instead of people going home and looking in the mirror and saying, I'm going to make sure my house is in order. I'm going to make sure my spiritual life, my financial life, my physical life, my marriage is in order so that when people invite me in, I'm ready. Well, then there's the other side of that, John. They might blow themselves up. Exactly right.

And like there might, we hope there's a bright side that comes along, but they might blow themselves up. That's exactly right. And so you have to make some space for that. That's one of the things I learned training with the SWAT guys is we're going to train with every minute of every day so that we have a positive outcome. And because we can't control what other people decide to do, we're going to create a little bit of space for if this whole thing goes sideways. And that's a heartbreaking thing to realize that I can't control everything. But this person is trying to, how do I insert myself into this and fix it? And I would lovingly tell them you can't. Wow. And so then for the person who's listening, who's like, man, I've been there.

I sat, I did the thing. I took my hands off the wheel because they weren't letting me help. They weren't letting me get in and help them drive to get there. And they did implode the thing and it is bad. And now I feel guilty because I'm wondering, was there anything?

Was there anything I could have done? Yeah. What do you say to the person who's got guilt? I mean, you hold that guilt. Just who's got guilt I mean you hold that guilt just hold it I mean you hold that guilt and it moves I mean guilt is a it's a natural thing but should they even feel guilt like should they I don't I I have doing the right thing I haven't been able to figure out how to not quote-unquote feel guilt I can choose to not head into resentment and so that means I intentionally will choose to not head into resentment.

And so that means I intentionally will turn left and head into guilt instead of heading into, I just am so mad at you all the time. I'm going to choose to say, hey, you're an adult. You're running your life. I'm not going to participate in this, but I'm going to be heartbroken. I'm always going to ask myself,

and maybe you write him a letter and just say, I love you guys. And when you're ready to change your life, I'm here to help. That's all you can do. But that's what you can do. But I haven't found a way, especially initially, to not feel that guilt. Yeah, you can't rationalize it away for sure. Ooh, this is tough.

This is a tough one. I hate it. I wish that we could, don't we all, right? Wish that we could go to our loved ones and tell them to live their life like we want them to live it. Well, yeah, there's that. That's the thing. Like some people, that's the hard part. People's lives are going to look different than yours. And in this case, it does smell bad. Like it looks like there is some real, real issues going on. I don't think this person's being dramatic. I don't think that it's, when she says deeply suffering based off of what she said financially and with their jobs and employment i think that's the case and it's just

i mean the fact is it's like you're watching a car crash and you can't look away even if you look away you still hear it going on right it's like there's no way to get away from it so i feel for them i really do yeah but we live we live in a world where there's different paths people can take and i think we also live in a world where there's different paths people can take. And I think we also live in a world that says everyone should take the same path as us. And I don't think that's right. No, it's not right. And at the same time, man, it's just heartbreaking when people we love are headed to ruin.

Talking about some stuff on The Ramsey Show today. We get into all of it. Relationships, the money. We are not afraid to take your call, whatever it is. So stick with us. This is The Ramsey Show. This is The Ramsey Show. I'm Jade Warshaw, your host, joined by your other host. His name is Dr. John Deloney. He's sitting right here to my right. We're going to take your calls all afternoon. Please give us a call. The number is 888-8 five five two two five we'd be happy to talk with you whatever's going on in your life whether it's money troubles or you've got some things bleeding into your relationship

your spouse is tripping spending all the money whatever it is give us a call we'd love to talk about it um something else i want to talk about is George Camel. He's one of our Ramsey personalities. GK, that's what I'm talking about. He also has a brand new book coming out in January. The book is called Breaking Free from Broke. I actually think I have it here for those watching. I can show you what it looks like because I think that this, I don't know, the cover is just unique. I really, really like it.

Um, we want you to pre-order this book today. You can pre-order it. It's just $. I really, really like it. We want you to pre-order this book today. You can pre-order it. It's just $20, right? But when you pre-order it, you get $100 in free bonus items. So you get access to a talk that he's done. It's called Show Me the Money. I've heard the talk.

It's legitimate. So you want to get that. It's going to help you so much. And you get a free Q&A with George. You get access to the audio book and the e-book. Plus you get a very, very special offer with every dollar. You get three months of every dollar premium. That's like the creme de la creme, three months for free. So that's pretty legitimate. It says the world is filled with money traps and distractions designed to keep you brainwashed and in debt with undeniable research and data.

George exposes the most common money myths and excuses head on. So he's talking about things like credit card schemes. He's talking about investment traps. He's talking about mortgage myths. This is all the stuff he's going over. And I like George because he's kind of like, like he's like Inspector like inspector gadget like he gets in there and finds out everything that's going on i'm the type of person i'm like oh it's too much to read all the books and like look underneath the mattress and he does all that for you yeah he's the guy that reads uh literally the fine

print and then calls the companies like hey you said in said in section four, 2A, that I could have this for free. And they're like, okay, man. Yeah. Yeah. He goes, he knows the bylaws. Yes. And when somebody says, that's not real, dude. He can't sleep until he either realizes he's wrong

or yes, it is. Yeah. He gets to the bottom of it. This book pulls every excuse and just throws it in the trash. It's incredible. That's right. Read it.

I think you should read it because at every conversation, any debate someone's going to try to debate you at money, you're going to just mic drop them every time after you read this book. So I suggest that it's on pre-order. Remember, it's $20. The book is Breaking Free from Broke.

You can get it on ramseysolutions.com or anywhere they sell fine, fine, what is it? Fine reading material. Yeah, fine reading material. So pick up your copy today. Let's go to Los Angeles, California. We've got Dana on the phone line. What's going on, Dana? Hi. So I am 29 years old and I've been planning to purchase a home, but I'm planning to purchase

it with my brother. So is it a smart idea to like have my brother as a co-owner of the property? I mean, majority of the down payment is going to come from me. And so it's mortgage. Yeah. No, no, no,

no. How old did you say you were? I'm 29, 29. Okay. Why can I just, can I understand why, why are you guys doing this together?

What's the purpose in your mind? We've been living together for three years, and we've been planning to purchase a property together as well. But why? Why is my question? Because, well, we're both single, and we don't know. We wanted to stop renting, and wanted to have like our own property. So this is your way, you felt like you couldn't afford it separately. So you're doing it together.

Is that accurate? Yes, I think. I mean, personally, I like with the current housing market, I don't think I can afford the monthly mortgage. Well, let's look at it. What do you make every month? What's your take-home pay? I make around every month. Yeah.

Yeah, around $6,200. $6,200? Yes. That's your take-home pay. Okay. So what type of home are you trying to buy like when you when you say here's what i need and you're realistic about what your needs are and you're not going overboard what was what does a cost a home like that cost you in los angeles because i know it's

going to be expensive yeah um since i'm single like maybe like a condo or a townhouse, like with like two beds, like a single bedroom. Like I'm just like living alone. Sure. That's fair enough. What would that cost you in the area that you live? In the area you're trying to be. Yeah, it's around like $450 to $500. I think, no, $450 to $600. Okay, so $450 to $600. that's a big range um and then my next question is what kind of work do you do i work in a as a lab scientist in a hospital a lab scientist okay here's thanks for giving me the particulars i don't think that you should like john said i

don't think that you should buy a home with your brother. There's a lot that can go wrong there. It would be different if one of you were purchasing the home and one of you put the down payment on and said, hey, if you want to live here and pay me rent or pay for your room here, you could do that. I'm okay with doing that. Yeah, that's, that's fine. The hard part comes when it's you're dating somebody and you're ready for them to move out and now they feel like they got the raw end of the deal like there are many things that can go wrong and i just want to call that out so and and there's one other thing when you're married there's a and you get divorced there is a business there's a legal path towards separation

that's why we same reason we tell people don't um buy a house with your boyfriend or girlfriend because the separation isn't so clean it's a mess and similarly if you and your brother just go in as as brother and sister boyfriend girlfriend um just two people the separation part is going to be a disaster. Not to mention, are you seriously, sis, you're going to make me pay you back for your down payment?

Right. Well, yeah. Are you kidding me? I'm your brother. You don't love me? Well, yeah. Or vice versa, right? And so,

or he's going to start dating someone and bringing them to your house and she's not going to like the way you cook. Dude, I just wouldn't. I just wouldn't i just wouldn't i wouldn't and here's the greatest way you can love each other is to not go into a legally binding agreement together see what i'm saying right what if you buy the house and rent it rent a room to the other one i'm fine with that and and and do it right like even when you do the way John said, do a lease.

Like, is it a year lease? Let's just start with a year-to-year thing, right? And do it by the book so that at the end of the day, if something has to, if the hammer has to come down, it's not you doing it, it's the lease, right? You know what I'm saying? Like, hey, the lease is up, we did say, and you can always point back to the terms

of what you guys agreed on. I'm not gonna lie, I still don't love it but it's your life if you want to live with your brother I'm not mad at it um I just went into it man that's all I can say um at the end of the day I here's here's also where I stand though with purchasing a house there is a piece of this whether it was let's say you didn't have a brother and let's just say you were calling and your hope was to get a roommate to live in the house. It bothers me for somebody to own a home that they can't pay for in full on their own. Because like I said, something can happen and whoever's living with you moves out and it could take you a longer period of time than you thought it would to find a replacement. And so now you've got to be able to cover the mortgage. Do you see what I'm saying? So my goal here is to get you thinking about every angle of this thing.

And just with me poking a few holes, I don't love it. Like, look, I want you to have a condo. I want you to have a home. I want you to not be a renter, but I want it to be done in the right way. My question for you next is what would it look like? And this is just for you to brainstorm. You don't have to answer this now. Where you live is really expensive. What does it look like for you to do the same type of work elsewhere? I can move, I guess. But I feel like my current job right now is really good benefits-wise.

It is, but it's not allowing you to live. You want a home. Right. And it's not allowing you to do that. Look, I have family who lived in California for years, and they're married, and at one point they said, she's a teacher and the other one works in gaming, and they said, we're never going to have the life we want here.

And they picked up and moved to Georgia. Yeah. All I'm saying is you may have to consider Hospitals need lab scientists in Kansas City. Right. Where you can buy a condo maybe for $300

instead of $600 or maybe $350 instead of and I don't know Kansas people are going to be like you can't but I don't know. Yeah.

But all to say is you have to decide which dream we want. Which dream. That's so true, John. Ooh. That's a hard one but she's got some options.

She's just got to allow herself to see the options. This is The Ramsey Show.