The Ramsey Show - App - This Is Dumb, Don’t Do It! (Hour 2)

Episode Date: January 2, 2024

🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. George Campbell, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today open phones at triple a 825-5225 thank you for joining us and happy new year to you dalton is with us in indianapolis to start this hour hi dalton welcome to the ramsey show hello thank you for having me. Sure, what's up? So about a year ago, soon after I got my first job, I invested into an IUL due to talking to my parents' financial advisor. And since after having kind of seen some of your work and I saw one of the videos you guys talking about it and I kind of looked into it myself, I kind of decided I would like to get out of this. However, the problem is, is there the surrender charge so I have about um I've been

invested since last November and I have about like $1,500 invested but if I were to try I can't transfer it into anything else if I try to leave it I'd be left with $400 and the surrender charge doesn't go away until like another 10 years and I'd have to keep investing. So I'm not sure what to do about this. Well, it sounds like you've lost $1,100 to me. Yeah. And make note that this guy screwed you, putting you into this product. I mean, he put you in a product that the only way

you avoid surrender charges is 10 years oh man how old are you uh 20 good lord man i'm sorry this is we file this one under stupid tax and we've all paid our version of it but i hate that you have to deal with this and lose that 1100 but it's not the only other option is continue to pay them money and lose even more yeah what are you paying into this thing um it's 150 a month what do you make um 22 000 a year oh my gosh what do you do for a living dalton i'm a diesel technician okay all right well um as painful as it is and i'm hurting with you right now and i'm kind of angry at this character for putting you in this thing um as painful as it is, I would stop. Now, and let me just tell you, here's an interesting story. I was 22, and a guy that was in a fraternity that my wife had been the little sister to the fraternity

came to our house with Northwestern Mutual, sold me a whole life policy, and I've got a finance degree. I should know better um and oddly enough dalton that was a long time ago but it was 150 a month and when i discovered like you have about a year in that i had to stop that i'd been screwed then i canceled it and you know how much of my cash value i got zero i. I lost about the same amount you're going to lose. And I was 22 years old. But that doesn't mean that I would, you know, staying in it would have just been worse. Yeah.

You're going to pay $1,800 this year just paying into that thing. The bad news for Northwestern Mutual in my case is that I've gotten to tell this story now for 40 years about how they screwed me. They've lost a lot of customers thanks to you you know it's cost them a lot more than the little bit of money they got out of me and i've gotten almost as much satisfaction as the money they got out of me so it was worth it yeah but you're not going to get that opportunity i doubt as a diesel mechanic you might you might tell some other diesel mechanics not to do business with this particular guy but yeah i'm sorry dalton but the actual actual proper correct thing to do is just if you have a hole in your pocket sew up the hole don't keep putting

money in it yep yeah that's kind of what i figured but um you know i just want to make sure there's no other options but you know and don't be mad at your mom and dad they don't know any better the financial advisor should know better. But a financial advisor that sells universal life is not a financial advisor. A financial advisor that sells universal index is an insurance agent. They're not a financial advisor. Yeah, that's what I kind of started to learn because my parents also are invested through him, and I found out what he has them on is also another life insurance product. So I think he just, you know.

He doesn't really do investments. just sells insurance yeah he makes a lot of money on it too like he made as much as you lost on this deal this year yeah that's the other thing i talk about this dave in my new book breaking free from broke i have a whole chapter on investing traps and i took a lot of time on the permanent life insurance section because too many young people are falling for this it's you know it's come back around back around it's got you know the tiktok idiots have stepped up and are really hammering this stuff well they call themselves dave tax-free wealth strategists that's what they don't call themselves financial advisors anymore because it's it's cooler to call yourself a wealth strategist here's the here's the dumb butt part of that okay tax yourself a wealth strategist. Here's the dumb part of that, okay?

Tax-free wealth strategist. Now, let me tell you how you get tax-free money out of a permanent life insurance policy. Number one, you pay into it for years and years and years and years. In tune of $150 a month. Pass this thing. He's got no cash value right now. After a year of paying in $150, just what we've been telling you for years, they keep it all. Once you get past that, you finally build up a little bit of horrible pocket change

piss poor returns and you got two thousand dollars in there you keep doing it for your whole stupid life and it would be a stupid life um and you got 50 000 bucks in there you know how you get your 50 000 bucks out tax-free borrow it borrow it well guess what if you go the bank and borrow ten thousand dollars it's tax-free borrowed money never is taxed it's dumber than hell but it's not taxed it sounds cooler when you put tax-free in front of it that's unbelievable yeah of course it's tax-free you idiot not you thank you not you dalton but they are hurt yeah dalton but the the the guy i'm a tax-free wealth strategist well of course you are the way you get your money out you borrow your own stupid

money out of this policy and you pay them interest of course it's tax-free borrowed money has never got taxes on it that's dumb don't poke holes in their genius strategy dave it's a gene there's a bunch of gene i'm a tax-free wealth strategist. I have a hot take for every investment trap, Dave. Go down to the bank and borrow $15,000. That's tax-free. Here's what I say. I said, permanent life insurance as a wealth-building tool is a legal scam peddled by insurance

agents posing as financial advisors. It gives them fat commissions and locks you into a lifetime of stupid tax. Dalton is Exhibit A. And luckily, he's getting out. I'm Exhibit A. And luckily he's getting out. I'm Exhibit A. He's B. He's B. Dave did it before it was cool.

Now it's trendy on TikTok. That's why it still makes me mad. Oh, my goodness. Of course, the guy, the fraternity bro, right? Makes it even worse. You know how long he was in the business? About 20 minutes after he sold our policy, he was gone. 80% of those agents are out of the business in one year.

So much turnover. 80%. Well, they must lose their soul in the first three months selling this crap. They don't lose their soul until they sold all their family and friends. There we go. And then when they try to sell it to individuals who are actually using their brain instead of the relationship to make the sale, then they find out they lost their soul. That's what happens.

And they get out of the business they run out of steam but the business is set up to the industry set up to milk your your sphere of influence so they put you in there as a greenie they milk your sphere of influence your natural market and they tell you go after your friends and young people and college students we're going to serve your natural market oh my gosh with a tax-free wealth strategy. Shoot me. Brilliant. Just shoot me.

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chministries.org slash budget. That's chministries.org slash budget. George Campbell, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Deanne is in Atlanta, Georgia. Hi, Deanne. Welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi. Hey, what's up? So, my husband was laid off yesterday on New Year's Day.

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Happy New Year. Yeah, really? husband was laid off yesterday on new year's day um oh my god yeah happy new year he is he was a direct operation so he was right under the owner for a luxury landscaping and hardscaping um company that works in buckhead um they work on commercial homes and all kinds of stuff. So the business owner, um, basically has lost his behind and is dissolving everything. And we kind of have the opportunity to not purchase the business from him, but get the equipment, purchase the equipment for him, from him, what he, for what he owes on it, and then he will give us his client book freely. And he's been very open, like wants to help. So he's closing up shop. He's closing shop, and there's a lot of money left to be made on the book scheduled,

and he's washing his hands of it. So my question is, like, how does it go about? What's a lot of money um right now they probably have two to three months on the books and i think there's about 250 000 on the table give or take on the table being gross revenues not counting expenses right correct what will those what will those jobs net you have any idea? I don't know. Your husband's ops manager. You ought to know his margins.

Yes, yes. What would it cost for you to buy all the equipment? So one machine he owes $30,000. It's worth $60,000. Another he owes about $30,000. It's worth $60,000. And then he has another machine that's brand new. It's worth $30,000, and machine that's brand new um it's worth 30 and it

he owes about 30. Okay what are you guys having money? Um we have about 30 to 40 35 to 40 in cash just hidden away um we have 16 in the bank and um we still owe $11,000 on his truck, his personal truck. Do you have to buy all of the equipment for this deal to happen? Or would he give you the client book anyways? He bought the two 30 over 60s and leaves the 30 over 30 for him. Yeah, he will give us the client book no matter what. He's very, he's very encouraging and will be very helpful.

He's very sad about the situation, you know, but he just gave up. He just gave up. Yes, he did. He just gave up. Why did he lose his butt?

If there's all this money laying there, you know, I, from an outsider's perspective, honestly, I don't know, but they all drive Porsches. They have a big old house in Buckhead, and it just looks like he's selling his house.

He's filing bankruptcy. It's just all not good. Okay. Well, there's a lot going on here. Number one, let me stop with the last statement. If he files personal bankruptcy and tractor number one, he owes $30,000 on it and it's worth $60,000, he can't sell it to you. Oh, okay. Okay. His plan was, he told my husband this week to take all the equipment that is owed on back to, like, the tractor company and give it back to him and just say,

here, you know, I'm done. It doesn't matter. If you buy it from the tractor company, that's fine. But here's the thing. Anything that happens within 90 days of him filing bankruptcy that was an asset can be undone by the bankruptcy court oh okay it's called a preference period and you're not allowed to give one creditor preference over another so for instance those voluntary repossessions your husband takes the equipment over there turns it in that dealer is not going to turn around and sell it to your husband the next day, that

$60,000 tractor for $30,000. Right. And if your husband buys it for $30,000 and it's worth $60,000, the bankruptcy court's going to come in and say, we could have got more than $30,000 for that tractor and given it to the creditors. Okay. And they're going to take it away from you yeah that's not good no okay so um this guy he he doesn't if he is if he if he files bankruptcy 90 days from now you'd be safe okay but if he if he files bankruptcy immediately which it sounds like this guy's very um emotional impulsive yeah and it's probably going to file soon because he's in freak out mode

yeah he's yeah yeah probably yeah ouch okay um what if we you know what what i would do what i would do is do what he said to do and um see if you can talk the dealer into selling it to you as you take the keys over there okay but you need to turn it back into them and then if they it's been repoed and what the bankruptcy court would then have to do, I'm not a lawyer, but I deal with this crap all the time. The bankruptcy court would have to come in. The trustee of the bankruptcy would have to come in and come to the dealer and say, that repossession that you did, you've got to undo it, which they usually won't do that.

But they would undo an individual transaction that benefited your husband versus the creditor. Okay. You see what I'm saying? Yes. So here's our strategy. Okay, I got down in the weeds there for a minute, but yeah, the book of business, you sound like you are excited about it. Is your husband?

Yes. Okay, you think he can take it and run it. So in that case, what I would do is the first thing you need to do is do an autopsy and you really do need to know what the crap went wrong right why this book of business is not worth hanging around for okay what what is wrong what is this guy doing is he doing cocaine i mean what's the deal what happened here you know i gotta know if it's the business model that's broken you don't need to book a business of a broken business model right no thank you yes i'll take the book of business if i can figure out what caused it and if the book of business is

clean and i can still cut the deals with those guys and they can i can still make that profit i'll step into that and go do it and then I would buy one or maybe two of these pieces of equipment with cash. Okay. If you can get them for $30,000 and they're worth $60,000. So that's more cash than we have. So that was my next question. Oh, no, you only have $30,000. You've got $40,000 and $16,000, right?

Right, yes. What do you make? Well, he did make about $80,000 a year, and we paid off all of our debt. Good, except the one truck. Except the truck, yes. I quit my job working in the banking industry. Okay, so let me stop you. Then you got 16, and you said you had 40 other

yes 41 or something 40 in cash 40 okay so you got 56 all right you get one piece of equipment you pay off the truck and the rest of it's your starter emergency fund can you pull off the projects with that? You can rent the equipment. Go rent equipment and do the project. Okay. Yes, we could rent the equipment. Yeah, rent the equipment. And then cash flow the rest of the equipment you need. Do not let that dealer talk you into financing that equipment.

Okay. Don't go back in debt. It's not worth it. I agree. Listen, if this business works, it will cash flow enough to buy equipment for cash. I agree. So just take your time buy your equipment take the which which of the two thirty thousand dollar worth 60s is the best deal and the best piece of equipment take that one if the dealer will tell sell it to you for 30 when you

take it over there and turn it in on his former boss's behalf okay if they won't if they try to jack it up above the loan then no don't do it and do not buy it from your former boss buy it from the dealer after repo okay because the bankruptcy court will come take it from you okay it's like it's like buying stolen goods from a fenced operation kind of gosh even if you didn't know they're stolen you're screwed when the police come yeah we don't want that yeah that's where you're going to end up it's called a preference period in bankruptcy you can look it up you'll see what i'm talking about but yeah i i would buy i'd spend 30 on this and i'd pay off my truck and i'd have a little bit of cash and let's get going let's get going resurrect this business that sounds fun she's got her head around it oh absolutely that's

what was giving me a lot of hope. I have hope for this. Yeah. This is The Ramsey Show. George Campbell, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Sabrina is in San Antonio. Hi, Sabrina.

Welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi, sir. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Hi. So me and my husband, we are on babysit two. We're almost done. We have about 12,000 left on our car. And my husband keeps trying to convince me that we should trade it in because we have, I guess, equity in it right now. And so we have $12,000 left. I, Kelly, blue-booked our car. It's around $22,000. He is thinking we should upgrade to a bigger vehicle.

So this value of the new vehicle would be $25,000. So about $3,000 more. And so I just wanted to see your opinion. I refuse to go to the lot because I don't want to make a bad decision. So we have about six months left projected until we pay it off. And he just thinks we should trade it right now and we're going to pay it off regardless this year. So that's kind of his mindset. I just want to get your opinion. How old are you guys? We're 29, 28, and we've done this stupid 10 years of car payments, and I'm so over it.

But he just thinks we should upgrade to the biggest one, which is the Yukon. Right now we have a GMC Acadia, so he's wanting the more. Why do you need to upgrade? His reasoning, or the big reason would just be more room. We have four kids, and so there's really no trunk space. I know it's silly, but... You do know they have large SUVs that are cheaper than 20, don't you? Yes. Does he?

Yes, he does. So part of the problem is we are not on baby step two. You are. He's not. He's wanting to stay into debt, it sounds like. He's trading in one car payment for a slightly bigger car payment. Yeah. debt it sounds like he's trading in one car payment for a slightly bigger car payment yeah like his his like view is because i told him you know um you know billy ramsey does it is we cash flow and then we trade it in and then we pay the difference and he's like well why don't

we just do that now and then pay it off um all at once but i'm like no i'm so ready to be done and he's like it's just three thousand more and i'm like well that, I'm so ready to be done. And he's like, it's just $3,000 more. And I'm like, well, that's just. Well, the dealer's not going to give you $22,000 for it if you trade it in. Yeah, that's true, too. But let's just stay with the concept for a second. The concept, though, is he's willing to continue to borrow money to get what he wants. Yep. When he wants it.

Yes. You got a fifth kid in the family. You didn't even know it. Yes. Mm-hmm. it yes you got a fifth kid in the family you didn't even know it yes so i don't think the car is the issue i think the car is revealing the issue that you all are not on the same page okay yeah yeah and if'm you, that's what's disturbing. Mm-hmm. Because here's what you would really do if you wanted a bigger car. You would buy an $18,000 one instead of a $25,000 one.

And that would get you out of debt faster, and you'd have a bigger car. Correct? Correct. Yeah. So I think we have a discussion. I think the two of you need to have a discussion about the fact that the way you feel about debt and the way you feel when he acts this irresponsibly and contrary to what you believe and how you thought we how you're you thought we were you know it sounds like this honey i thought we were agreed that we were getting out

of debt and staying out of debt and now you're coming in here and extending the time that we're in debt to buy something that we obviously can't afford why didn't you come in here and suggest we buy something 18 000 that is larger because there's 18 thousand dollar suvs out there agreed agreed yeah yeah and why didn't you bring that in and then we'd had something to talk about because that gets us out of debt faster and we get a larger car but instead you're scaring the crap out of me that i'm going to have to struggle with you the rest of our lives on this money issue. This is really scary for me.

And you ought to bring that up to him that way. Okay. Because you don't really, you know, you laughed, but you don't really want to be married to a little boy. You want to be married to a man that's walking along beside you. Yes. Shared goals. And it's not cute that you're the mommy it's not fun for you that's why i ask

how old you guys are because i was a little bit thinking you were a lot younger honestly like you were 22 or something and he still hadn't grown up you know but um but maybe he's 29 and i but you know no i would not go along with this. I would not go to the dealership. I will not sign this. I don't believe in it. You're scaring the crap out of me. But the car is not the problem.

The problem is that you would bring this in here knowing how that's going to make me feel, that you disrespect me on that level. If I'm you, that's how I'm feeling. Yeah. Let's pretend Sharon Ramsey came in and suggested we borrowed money. Can you imagine how that would go? You know, I mean, it's I'd get pay-per-view tickets to see. Yeah, that would be a hillbilly knockdown.

Oh, my gosh. Unbelievable. That'd be one of those fights. Right. But I mean, obviously, we've had those fights long ago in our marriage we got past them but i i want you i'm really concerned that you use this opportunity to get the two of you on the same page more than i'm concerned about the car transaction and maybe bringing up we could buy one for 18 why didn't you bring me that is a good way to

start talking about it but most of all if i were you i would talk about how it makes you feel when he um you know how it makes you scared that that he you know he's gonna mess up everything after you guys have worked so hard to get it cleaned up you know it's just at least he didn't come in and go i want to borrow sixty thousand dollars and buy a brand new something you know he didn't say that so he's still want to borrow $60,000 and buy a brand new something. You know, he didn't say that. So he's still thinking he's going to get paid off in a year. But, you know, that means he's kind of like a two, you know, on a scale of one to ten. He didn't take it all the way to Defconn. We'll make the problem slightly worse. Yeah, yeah.

But the big problem is that that's a slippery slope. I mean, once you stick your toe in that water, the vortex will suck you in. You know, it's just like it's hard to go on the lot of a car dealer and not leave without a car. It is dangerous. It is because they're fabulous cars. And they're great salespeople. Even if the salesman sucks, the cars are fabulous. Start looking at these new features and you're like, oh, man.

We've got a lot more room. These little kids are on top of each other. The one benefit, though, of having them on top of each other is you can discipline them all at once. That's easier. You can reach them all. That might be a, that's the parenting style Dave used to do back in his day. I did.

I grew up in the day when your mother would reach across the back seat and you could not find a way, you could not get away there was no escaping there was no dodging it's hard to do in the yukon it was within it was within reach i'm just saying well some of them have automatics that do that now automatic moms is that a thing i'm kidding that's a feature moms would pay for i would pay for it as a grandparent but there you go just zap you in the seat if you're misbehaving just a little zip zip zip there you go oh so yeah the key here is either sell the car private and uh you'll she'd have 10k left after that and they'd save up and pay for a car with cash or wait pay it off then they

can sell it and upgrade with cash either way or if you want to reduce the debt okay she said she owes 12 it's worth 22 and if you sold it for 22 and you bought something for 18 you would only owe 8 you know and you pay that off in less than a year yeah but that doesn't that's not really the strategy the the reason for bringing that up is to point out that he didn't bother to go that direction it was going if he If he had gone that direction, I'd actually maybe gone with him. You know, I said, sure. Yeah. You want to move up in car and down in debt?

Yeah. That's a plan. Up in size, but not in value. Yeah. You actually move down in value, going down in debt, but up in size. Yeah, I'm for that. It's like people call up and say, you know, we owe $12,000 on our car. It's worth $12,000 or ten thousand dollars or whatever or you know but it's a you know we have a you know a

tiny little honda or something and we've got like two kids on the way what are we gonna do well you can move to a twelve thousand dollar van it's a break-even scenario but don't go further in debt people use all these events to justify going further in debt. It's so easy to justify going into debt, especially cars. Well, Dave, it's for the safety and reliability. No, it's not. It's for you. It's for you. It's for you, little boy, little girl.

I want my twuck. That's how they sound. I want my twuck. That's all I hear. My twuck. I'm sure your grandkid sounds like that. Say that one more time. I want my twuck. My twuck. That's Dave's grandkid sounds like that. Say that one more time. I want my twuck. My twuck. That's Dave's grandkid right there. This is the Ramsey Show. George Campbell, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today.

Lots of things happening here at the first of the year. You know, when you get stuck in a rut it's kind of like being stuck in an orbit the gravitational pull of stupid is amazingly powerful it will hold you in that orbit is that an einstein quote i just made it up it's the new ramsey theorem ramsey theorem of stupid gravitational pull. But I've been stuck in an orbit on something. You know, it's just your habit. You've got a dumb habit.

You've got a habit of not paying attention to your money, as an example. And so when we're doing this thing, this huge, it's already over 200,000 people registered for it, live stream on the 11th of January. It's completely free. And you've got to go to RamseySolutions.com and register for it. It's called Breaking the Cycle. What we're doing is we're breaking out of the orbit of stupid. You've got to break the cycle. And sometimes it feels like, oh, it's a family cycle.

Sometimes people in my world, in the Christian world, call it a generational curse, right? Well, it's not a generational curse once you're 26 it's just you're being stupid it's in our dna to be broke it's not in your dna to be broke it's in your behavior that's causing you to be broke and you've glorified it by blaming it on your family no you can't do that anymore you got to break the cycle you gotta break the cycle and the way you break the cycle is with new emotions and new knowledge and new ways of viewing things, a new paradigm. And all of that comes from intersecting with someone that can slingshot you out of that orbit.

Break the cycle. And that's what we're going to do. It's a completely free live stream on January the 11th, and we do not want you to miss it it's uh it's at 7 p.m central time eight o'clock eastern time make sure you sign up because even if you can't make that exact time we'll send you a link to watch it and we're doing a special giveaway with this dave this is cool we haven't done this before ten thousand dollars1,000 to 10 different viewers. Now, signing up won't get you in the deal. Viewing will get you in the deal.

Because we're giving it away during the live. To viewers, okay? But 10 different viewers are going to win $1,000 to jumpstart their new year. We're going to announce the winners live that night as we're broadcasting. So that's pretty cool. Must be present to win, apparently. Like that, even digitally. Yeah. night as we're broadcasting so that's pretty cool must be present to win apparently like that even digitally yeah you got to register to win at ramsey solutions.com slash break the cycle

the whole thing's free dr john deloney rachel cruz george camel jade warshaw navigating money anxiety bad money habits that keep you stuck practical money tips that actually work we're going to help you break free of the orbit of stupid. That's what we're really good at around here. We are. We are good at it. We're probably the best in the world at it. And it's one of the reasons this podcast just showed up on Apple the other day.

It was the number one podcast in the world. That was incredible. Out of all the podcasts, millions of podcasts in the world, and we roast the charts thanks to you all out there listening, subscribing. Well, we've been hovering around 10 or 15, sometimes up to up to five but i don't i don't think we've ever even broken three and then we hit number one in december we beat all the true crime podcasts out there there's a lot of those it's gracious we're in the wrong business apparently well maybe not but yeah so hey thank you guys by the way for spreading the word about the show you're

the ones that did it thank you for sharing the way for spreading the word about the show you're the ones that did it thank you for sharing the show and for clicking the five-star reviews and subscribing and all that kind of stuff all that stuff helps the algorithms on that and it drives people to know about what we're doing here and you are our only marketing plan so god help us thank you thank you thank you and you help us ramsey solutions.com slash Break the Cycle, January the 11th. And, man, we'd love to have you view it with us. Samuel is in Madison, Wisconsin. Hi, Samuel.

Welcome to the Ramsey Show. How are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up? I just have a quick question. My family, my parents are in financial ruin, and I want to help them out. And so I need some help, I guess. How old are you?

18. What do you make? 37 a year. What's the situation with your mom and dad, huh? Um, well, my dad has been jobless for, since we moved from Madison, um, four years ago, but their plan was to, uh, for a summer, take us out on a camper and travel the United States and stuff. But my mom got stage four cancer, so he's been taking care of her for four years and it's, and she's on hospice and stuff. So I'm the only one that is currently working, and I'm trying to help him as much as I can.

And I'm actually debating on getting a second job. That's one of the main reasons I'm calling you. So your 37.5 is supporting, and he's taking care of your mom while she's on hospice? Yes, but i'm getting a second job so i'm probably gonna be pulling like a hundred dollars a week because uh i got a one i got money saved and savings and stuff like that but i'm not paying their bills i'm just paying for their gas and the phone bills like you don't live there no i i'm living by myself, yes, but I'm still paying their part of their stuff. You're paying for their what?

Their Wi-Fi, the phone bill, some of the propane. How are they eating if your dad's not working? My dad's living off his Roth IRA at 50 years old. How much is in the Roth? I bet he did not disclose. But it's bad. What's the plan once the Roth money runs out? God only knows.

I mean, I'm setting up, I have about $1,500 in investments, and I just opened up a Roth IRA because my company that I work for doesn't get you to my 401k till i'm 21 so what what what hours do you work now uh third shift so i work a seven to seven seven p to seven a yeah 7 p.m to 7 a.m yep all right and um can I be brutal for just a second?

Because you're in an awful situation, honey, and my heart's aching for you. Yeah. How long does the doc say your mom's got? Well, they just told her that they can do no more. Like, she's untreatable. She has a tumor the size of a basketball. Yeah, and the hospice is saying she's got how long? I don't know.

She's on a morphine. This is a matter of days and maybe a couple of weeks. Am I wrong? No. I mean, they gave her a month to live. That was four years ago, and by the grace of of god he's kept her alive so um we're just i mean we're living on hopes and prayers right now but i want to help them as much as my my dream i'm not trying to be i'm not trying to be mean i'm not trying to break your hopes or

prayers or not i'm not messing up your miracle okay i'm all in for that stuff but um if that if the miracle doesn't come it doesn't sound like she's in very good shape to me. No, she has major edema, so she can barely walk. She's swollen. The main reason I'm calling you now is because I have a people there. Do you have any brothers or sisters? Yeah, but I don't really talk to them because they do other things. No other families helping?

All my grandparents are taking care of my mom while my dad is doing side stuff. He's jobless, but he's got a friend that hires him for a seasonal work, but that just got done, so all that money went towards paying off the camper and the truck. But now he has nothing until he takes back his, I mean, he opens up his Roth IRA again. Okay.

Your dad is able to work then when your grandparents are there, and if you're able, I would prefer you to spend some of your day taking care of your mom and your dad to be working and your dad needs to say your dad needs to sell his camper that's um that is the main thing that i want to get to is that he's still living on the dream of going with my mom and all of us and traveling the country and that's holding him back yeah well you don't even talk you don't even talk to your brothers and sisters. You're not traveling the country with them.

Oh, yeah. And your mom's not leaving with hospice and a camper. He needs to grieve this dream and move forward with reality. Somebody's going to have to help your dad out, hon. You working more is not the answer. I think your dad has got to make some changes, and if you can help him to make those changes, and I don't know how you do that at 18 years old, but that's what we pray for. I don't, I don't think you working and throwing another $300 a week at this is fixing it.

Your dad's going to have to make some moves and I'm so sorry you're facing this, what a horrible thing to have to go through when you're time.