The Ramsey Show - App - This Is REAL Bad! (Hour 3)

Episode Date: May 31, 2023

George Kamel & John Delony answer your questions and discuss:  "Should I take out student loans so I can make a career change?",  "My husband keeps lying to me about our financial situation",  from the blog: Overcoming Financial Infidelity How to decide about selling your house when moving, "Should we continue living with family when there's major tension between my wife and my mom?",  What to do when parents are stealing money from their kids.  Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Join a Personality-led FPU class. Click here! Enter The Ramsey Cash Giveaway for a chance at $3,000! https://bit.ly/TRSgvwy Shop our bestsellers during the $10 Sale! https://bit.ly/TRS10Sale Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3cEP4n6 Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Interested in advertising on The Ramsey Show? https://ter.li/s64ye3 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Pod's moving and stored studio. Bit my tongue there, John. I got so excited. This is The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create amazing relationships. I'm George Gamble, joined by Dr. John Deloney today, and create amazing relationships. I'm George Campbell, joined by Dr. John Deloney today, and this is Your Show America. So call us up at 888-825-5225. And if you like this show, please consider subscribing, leaving us a review wherever you're listening,

and sharing this with a friend. John, we just got some really cool data in from our listener survey, and it's amazing to see how many new listeners came from word of mouth. People saying, hey, John, you've got to check out this show. You've got to check out this show. And there's only a certain amount humans can handle in their life, in the repertoire of podcasts and shows they listen to. I have like four hours a week I can listen to a thing. Exactly.

Two of those hours, murder. They're saying, hey, Ramsey show, you're going to get an hour of my time. That means the world to us. And we truly believe that these principles, while it can be entertaining to listen to the show, it can also change your life. And one of the things we talked about in there was the word of mouth. It used to be I worked with the same 25 people and I might tell one of them over lunch or a couple people about, hey, man, I did something crazy. I paid off all my debt. Right. And they like, what?

Like that used to be word of mouth. Now you can just listen to a podcast episode. And if it's meaningful, you can just text it to 25 different people. And so it's expanded this idea of word of mouth, or you can just forward the link of a YouTube clip or a YouTube episode to your mom or your friend or whatever. And so it's the ability to send these episodes out. So if you listen to an episode, if you watch an episode, and it's meaningful to you, it's impactful, and you think, man, this would really, my mom needs to hear this call. Send it to her. Forward it on to her, man, and bring everybody into our weird little gang.

It's a party. We love it. Grateful for you guys. This is your show. Let's get to it. Tanisha is with us in Washington, D.C. to kick off this hour. Tanisha, welcome. How are you doing? Hi, I'm okay. How are you? We're doing well. How can we help today? So to make it plain, I am bored at my job.

I want to take this immediately. Thank you for your answer. Tanisha, me too. Me too. No, you're not. You guys are loving each other. I know. I am having a good time. Okay. So you're bored. You want to get out of this thing?

Yes. And I work from home, and I am pulling my hair out, but I have a second job. And I got it because I started the baby steps. So I'm paying debt. So I paid my credit cards off and now I have student loans, but the career I want to go into, I have to get a master's. So I'm like, do I take out more debt or do I wait? What's the job? I don't know what to do.

Um, what was the question? What's the job you want to go do? So I want to either do school counseling or be a social worker. Excellent. Excellent. And what do you do now? I'm a research assistant right now in cardiology. A cardiology research assistant.

So here's what I would do if I were you. Well, George, tell her the sad news. The sad news is I would not take out any more student loans, and you'll move at the speed of cash. I can't get out now. Ever, ever, ever. I know. Which means this may be a two-year journey instead of a now journey. Or let me tell you what might happen.

So let's do this. Let's say from this point forward, Tanisha is a person who never borrows money. It's just not on the table. This is not who I am. What that means is now Tanisha is a person who never borrows money. It's just not on the table. This is not who I am. What that means is now Tanisha is a person who figures crap out. I will figure this out. My first bachelor's degree, master's degree, and PhD, all loans.

All loans. Same with my wife. Lots. Six figures. Lots. Then we said, never again. And so in my next job, they had a benefit where I could get one class. And then I went and said, hey, I got these professional development. You pay to send me to a conference every year. What if instead of going to that conference,

that dollar amount's about the same as a class? Can I trade you for that? And my boss was like, yeah, that's fantastic. And I said, it would be more of a benefit. That's great. And so I would love to see you go apply at hospitals that might pay for you to go get a social work degree that might pay for you to go get a nursing or might pay for you to go. It's going to support you in that journey, not make you go into more and more and more debt. I would love to see you get on the phone and see if you can make that happen. I think you can find that place. I'm afraid of that, though. I know.

Because I don't know if they're going to help. Are you more afraid of being told no, or are you more afraid of being completely chained to debt? It's a worst case scenario that they say, no, we can't do that. And you go, all right. All right. Well, cool. Shake it off.

Have fun. So what's it going to cost to go to an affordable program in your area or online? If I go to community college, it'll be like $33,000. If I go to a private school like Liberty, it'll be like $37,000. So $33,000

total. Wait, hold on. $33,000 at a community college? Yes. You are out of your mind. It is not right. Wait, hold on. 33,000 at a community college? Yes. You are out of your mind. It is not right. I'm not kidding. Well, master's degree, they don't have master's degree at community college.

Well, the one where I am, they're the master's degree for school counseling. Mm-hmm. Yeah. If I were you, I'd get on the phone with local school districts who are so desperate for mental health professionals and teachers. And I would see if there's a possibility that they would hire you and help you get credentialed.

When we get to school? I never thought of that. A hundred percent. Yes. Like schools are struggling all over the country to keep people and you might have to leave dc because dc is really really really expensive yeah i stay with my parents so i know i can't even afford to be on my own well it may be time to start looking across this great country and figuring out another place to go but again since you're a person who never borrows money you're a person who has to figure it out and figuring out another place to go. But again, since you're a person who never borrows money, you're a person who has to figure it out.

And figuring it out means we have to do stuff that we didn't plan on or want to or think that would be great, but that's what we're going to do because we don't borrow money. That's just who we are. We choose freedom over everything else. How much more debt do you have left? I have $65,000 in student loans. And what was the degree in that you got? Sociology.

Okay. And that's all of your debt? That's all of my debt. I just paid off my credit card a couple of months ago. Awesome. And what are you making? Combined with boat jobs, about $50,000. Okay. That's after my paying taxes and everything. At least that's what I made last year. And living with your parents, your expenses are super low? Yeah, I pay like $300 in rent right now.

That is a blessing. Let's take advantage of that. Knock this debt out as fast as we can and then cash flow the most affordable program that we can do. And like John said, there's so many ways and it's going to be, you're going to get super creative and go, oh my gosh, I had no clue that they would be willing to pay for my education. And see if you can find an online program. I know. Hey, here's why. Cause we love you. And here's the other reason. I don't want you to put $36,000 of debt on top of the 65 you already have. And then make

be, oh, a hundred to $110,00060,000 as a social worker. You know why? Because I know them. Those are my friends, and they can't breathe. And it takes the fun out of social work and the dream that you had. There's not a lot of fun in social work. Now it becomes,

I got to pay the bills. How am I going to do this? You can't serve somebody else. You can't save somebody from, you can't pull them out of the ocean when you're drowning. True. Right?

And so my friends who are mental health professionals, and it's almost my entire community, who owe crazy amounts of money, they can't breathe. Don't add yourself to that number. Love those future clients enough to go in with non-anxiously. I don't owe any money. Now I can really jump all in. Hey, you guys, health insurance costs are only moving one way, and that way isn't down. And if higher costs aren't enough, the wait times to see your doctor are longer, and it's harder than ever to get anything approved through the bureaucracy. So if you feel like the system is working against you, try a biblically-based alternative to health insurance, Christian Healthcare Ministries.

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CHM programs start as low as $98 a month. So learn more today and join at chministries.org slash budget. That's chministries.org slash budget. I'm George Campbell, joined by Dr. John Deloney. You're listening to The Ramsey Show. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Mariela joins us up next in Lexington, Kentucky. Mariela, welcome to the show. Hi, thank you so much for having me. Absolutely. How can we help today? Well, there's a ton of things, but the main concern right now is my husband has been lying to me,

and we've been working through baby step number two, but he's been hiding financial purchases that are really big. How is he hiding them? Um, well, this past week, I found out that the vehicle that we have been paying hundreds of dollars in this month, over a thousand in repairs, he had put a lien on it several months ago. So we couldn't even scrap it this month, which we're down to one car now. And so that was one of the bigger lies recently. Why did he put a lien on his own car? He's been, he told me. Did he borrow against it? Like the equity out of his car?

That's my understanding. Like he got a certain amount of money. And then this is when we were starting to work together on the baby steps he said that um we paid off some things using that money because i was asking him where did it go like why would you do that but he said we he didn't feel like we had any money and um so he went to one of those payday lenders who said we'll give you three thousand dollars but i'm holding the title of your car like a title max looks like an old pizza hut one of those places i just learned all of this not very long ago and so we we had also um had like similar things happen in our relationship, like with Lowe's, he spent thousands that I didn't know about there.

At Lowe's? Yes. What's he buying? Well, I talked to them not too long ago because I received something in the mail. That was how I found out in the first place was the card was originally primarily in my name because we got, this was like years ago when we first got married, we got a washer and dryer. Then recently, like he purchased a lawnmower

that was for him to use at his grandparents' house. And it was like $6,000, and I didn't even know he bought it. But that's almost paid off. That's the promotional purchase. And there's about $9,000 in just random less than $299 items, they told me. We need to come to Jesus' meeting tonight. And we say everything gets put on the table. Every bank account, every car.

Before that, walk her through how she can pull her credit report and find out what's out there. Yeah, you can pull your credit report for free annually. And it'll tell you every piece of debt that is owed to your name. And he needs to do the same. Here's what I think mariela can i just be honest with you i don't want to be alarmist but i can be honest with you i think this is real bad is what i think and either he is a bumbling goofball of a ding dong who just is walking through life like a three-legged turtle,

or he is a very deceitful person who is spending money on all kinds of things and lying to his wife's face. And when that happens, it's very rare that they're not hiding some sort of addiction or some sort of other person in the relationship. And I'm not telling you that to freak you out. I'm just telling you this is what we do for a living. It is rare that somebody just keeps blowing up money and spend $6,000 for a mower for your grandparent. What are you doing? You know what I mean?

I mean, that's just madness. And that tells me there's somebody who's out of control. If it's okay, I was just going to tell you. Yeah. The back story to that was kind of his, he lost his grandfather, who was essentially his father figure, a couple years back. And I think part of it is like in his mind,

he feels responsible to take care of things for her. Totally get that. Totally get that. So I think that's kind of where that came from. And I was getting to where I could forgive that. And we were working together, I thought. So now I'm at square one again because I'm like, you tell me you're telling me the truth and then you're not.

But there's also a difference between I need to take care of my grandmother and I have to spit on and completely dishonor my wife. You don't have to do one to do the other. I can completely honor my grandmother and get on Craigslist and buy me a mower that barely runs that will get the work done.

She did have a push mower, I believe. It's just... I know. I know. Here's the thing. How long have you all been together? Five years, approximately. At some point, and that doesn't have to be today.

At some point, you're doesn't have to be today, at some point you're going to have to stop defending him because you've been defending him for a long, long time. Right? Right. You have an answer for everything I'm calling out. And George and I are both husbands. We know how this game works.

But you keep defending him and so you can defend him all you want till the end of time but you can't breathe right now and george and i can both hear it he's broken your trust and that is the foundation for any relationship and it's going to take a long time to repair and it's going to take even longer if he continues to make these financial mistakes without talking to you and even if he explains it, you get a vote. And right now, you haven't had a vote in this relationship, have you?

It's always been him going, well, you don't understand. I'm doing the, I'll figure it out. I got it. Don't worry about it. And you're going along with it, right? Well, before he had like complete control over everything money wise because I didn't have a job because I had two small kids. No. But now. That's not. Hold on. He doesn't get the money because I didn't have a job because I had two small kids. No, that's not. Hold on.

He doesn't get the money because you don't have a job. My wife stays at home. She works some, but she stays at home, and we do this thing together. That's not a reason. Well, now it's not that way, and he did come to a point where he said, okay, you have a turn and you try it. Like he wanted to let me see if I could do a better job because we both knew it wasn't working with him making the financial decisions. He's been in the driver's seat long enough and he's been crashing the car.

In fact, he got rid of the car. And then he handed the keys to you and he crashed another one. He went and bought another one on credit. Hey, George was right. George is 100%. Tonight, this ends. Tonight, you have to look across the table and say, you've been committing financial infidelity.

You're violating our vows. You are cheating on me. And I think we get really obsessive in our culture about fidelity being one thing and one thing only and it's intimacy with somebody else. And I think fidelity is my commitment to you. I'm all in is way bigger than that. He's cheating on you. He's stealing from you. He's lying to you. And at some point you got to say, hopefully it's tonight. You put a, put a piece of paper down and you say, this ends right now. How much money have you borrowed in our family's name?

How much do we owe and where is it? Because, man, you made that one call to Lowe's and you made that one other call over here and you found out a whole litany of things. You shouldn't have to call Lowe's to figure out what your husband has been up to. No, he should be able to pull out the statement and hand it to you. Here's how bad it is.

But how dare he? You take a turn at the money and they keep borrowing more money. That's wild. And I was going to say, I asked him the other day, like those kinds of questions. Are you cheating on me?

What other money has been borrowed? That sort of thing. He did mention another credit card. Not like thousands or anything. It was like $300 or something. At this point, I don't trust him. I want to see his credit report. I don't either, so I don't know

what to do. I tell him to bring his credit report to the table. Both go to annualcreditreport.com. You can pull it for free. Both of you have to pull that. We're going to look at this thing with a fine-tooth comb, lay out a plan, and go, if you're not on board, this is not going to work. We have to have a different conversation. No more lies. You cannot continue this relationship on a throne of lies. It will not work. So I'm wishing you the best, Marielle, but you got some work cut out for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm George Campbell, joined by Dr. John Deloney. Well, folks, your chance to win $3,000, it ends today. That's right. All month long, we've been asking you one question.

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And it could not be easier to enter. All you got to do is go to ramseysolutions.com slash giveaway. It'll take you less than 15 seconds to enter. And it's probably the easiest money you could ever win. Even easier than crypto, John. I've heard it's really easy. There's no such thing that's easier than crypto.

Crypto will save us all. Well, here's the best part. There's no purchase necessary. You don't have to buy any crypto, which is so great. And you do have to be 18 or older to win. Sorry, kids. Tell mom and dad. So hurry up, enter the Ramsey Cash Giveaway today. Before it ends, ramsesolutions.com slash giveaway. Let's go to the phones. Alyssa joins us in Fresno. Alyssa, welcome to the show. Hi, thank you. Sure. What's going on? My question is, my husband and I are on baby steps two and four, and we paid off all of our debt. Hold on. Whoa, I'm confused. Hold up. Is it two or four? How is it both? We're on two. Okay. We were on four, then we bought a car. Alyssa, what are you doing?

I know. So here's my question. You're like, I know. All right. What's next? Kicking myself, but we're enjoying the car, so we'll get there. Here's my question. We own a home here in California, and my husband recently was given a job opportunity

about two hours away at the coast, which would be fantastic for his career, for a stepping stone, future job, advancement, things like that. Obviously, the cost of living at the beach is much, much higher than where we are now, but the quality of life we would have there would be way better than what we have now, I would say. We have some family in the area over there, and the climate is much better. Is it wise to keep our house as a rental here and move over there knowing that the potential

is there for a long-term rental with very little chance of actually owning property. So you're saying we won't be able to afford a house, so we're just going to rent in the new location, keep ours as a rental? Yes, with the potential of moving back here to retire someday. I don't like making that big of a decision based off the potential for something. Yeah, do you own your house right now or are you still renting it? I mean, you still have a mortgage on it. I don't like making that big of a decision based off the potential for something. Yeah. Do you own your house right now or are you still renting it?

I mean, you still have a mortgage on it. We still have a mortgage, yeah. So how much equity do you have? I would sell it, yeah. We have about $165 in equity. What's it worth? $450. Okay.

So you got a big old mortgage on this thing. Yeah. Okay. So what if we sold it and we got out of debt and we had our emergency fund and we began to save up for a down payment in this new location and started planting roots there? That's our other option, yeah. I wouldn't keep it and be a long-distance landlord

because right now you guys are already broke, and now what if it needs a new roof or the HVAC goes out, you're two hours away, and you have to pay up $10,000, $15,000 for these repairs? Yeah, I see. It went from a blessing to, oh, my gosh, why did we do this? We thought it was a good idea. Yeah, I would sell that and cut your ties.

And if this job is incredible, then that's, I mean, it makes all the sense in the world. It sounds like, and by the way, it sounds like you're going. It just sounds like, I mean, you gave me all the reasons why you should go. So y'all are going. I would go in with our eyes wide open. And George just said something really important. I don't want you to miss it. Don't go into it saying, we can never do it.

You can. You might have to squash this beach lifestyle for three or four years and really save and really scratch and really claw, but you can. You can. 100% you can. He's getting a raise, right? Yes. And I imagine the cost of living is higher,

but you're also going to have a higher income. Are you going to work? Yeah. Yes. And I imagine, you know, the cost of living is higher, but you're also going to have a higher income. Are you going to work? Yeah. Yes. So I work here and I could continue to work remotely. What's your new household income going to be? It would probably be $8,800 a month. That would be your take-home pay?

Yeah. Okay. And then what would your rent be? Probably about $3,500. That's a lot of rent. I know. So my goal would be, let's get in a home when it makes sense, and that means a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage

where the payment's no more than a quarter of our take-home pay. And so that means you've got to get that mortgage down below $3,000 for this to make sense, which means saving up more down payment. Are we talking like a million dollars for a condo over there? What's the going rate? Yeah, probably $800 for a condo or a million for a house. Okay. So this might mean we got to get our income up ASAP and we're going to live on less than we make. We're going to put away 10, 20, 30 grand a year towards this down payment,

50 grand a year towards this down payment. And in a few years, we're going to be able to get a house there. And it may be a condo or townhome because you're living in one of the most expensive areas of the nation. But you don't get a pass on math, which is unfortunate.

I wish, because we get so many people who live in big cities, expensive cities, and they go, this plan doesn't work. I'm like, it's especially not going to work if you avoid it and do what you want to do and your rent is half of your income. So that's the important thing. You can, it's just going to take sacrifice. And the question you'll have to ask yourself is,

do you want to live the beach life and go to the shows and go to all these things and do rad stuff and buy depreciating assets with borrowed money? Do you want to be those? Or like, no, we want to buy a house. And so we're willing to sacrifice for five years. We're going to live kind of low key and we're going to do free things on the beach because it's so stunning and beautiful because we have one goal and that's we're going to buy a house. Man, you could do that. You can do that. It's just going to come at a cost. The same as it's going to come at a cost if y'all choose to play and party and have fun. It's going to come at a cost of you're never going to own a home, and half of your income is going to be taken up with rent, making somebody else

rich. So you got a choice either way. I know the choice that I think would be wiser over the long haul. For sure. Thanks for the call. Let's get a quick one in here from Robert in Syracuse. Robert, what's going on? Robert! Thanks so much for taking my call. Hi, guys. Hey. What up? So, okay, I'll try to make this quick. I'm a father and a father of four children, husband. For the first five years of our lives, we lived by ourselves in a little tiny hovel in upstate New York. I worked for the church. I expected never to make too much because the situation we were in, it was a decision we made so that we could serve the church, and we expected there to be very little when it came to money. Five years into the marriage, our parents moved into the area, and they bought a house, and they offered for us to move in and enjoy the benefits of a multi-generational household, especially as our kids were getting older and we were homeschooling. And it seemed like a really good idea

at the time. And for the first few years, it went really well. Recently though, there's been a lot more tension and especially the two women in the household uh about who's going to be uh head head mom and um bro move out robert move out this is your wife and your mother-in-law your mom move out so her my mom my mom and my wife yeah yeah move out yeah i mean that's that was the question you gotta find a place it would mean saving up for a while though because well no it doesn't it it means you may have to reconsider because you've created a life you've got four kids yeah y'all created a world that cost x amount of dollars yeah and you want to serve you want to work at small rural or underprivileged underserved churches which is noble and good but you've created a world where at this time in your life

that's not possible. Yeah. Because you got four kids. So it doesn't mean you're going to put this on for a long, long time because you got four kids growing up in tension so thick they can't breathe. Yeah. And so it might mean you got to take another job. That might mean you got to leave upstate New York where it's expensive to live and find another place to live.

It might mean we got bunk beds stacked to the ceiling and it's a big old party in there. We have that already. They're used to it. You need to sit down with your wife this weekend. Y'all go out together. Y'all make a plan, but you got to get out of there and y'all got to make some hard decisions. Not about what you want to do, but what you got to do with the reality that you have created for yourselves. Thanks for the call, Robert. This is The Ramsey Show.

This is The Ramsey Show. Our scripture of the day comes from Luke 6, 27 and 28. But to you who are listening, I say, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Benjamin Franklin said, love your enemies, for they tell you your faults. Hey, before we go take a call, I want to, George, go back to that last caller. Because I know we're going to get some internet grief about it. I think we have in, it's a cultural, I don't say it's a, yeah, it's a cultural problem where we've been told, follow your passions. We've been told have kids. We've been told

you need to buy a house. You've been told you should get a raise just for showing up. We've been told a bunch of things that if you lay them all out and do them all, they don't work. It doesn't work. There's not a unified path forward. And so I've tried over the last decade to figure out what is that path then. And I keep coming back to this starting line over and over and over, which is you have to choose reality, the reality that sits before you. And that reality might be, I'm terrible at basketball. It's not in the cards for me. It's not going to happen. And I can work and work and work. It's not going to happen. It's okay. It's all right. It could be, I, so you put a book in front of me and I just, I just want to pull both of my eyeballs out of my head, right? Fine.

You're probably not going to be a content writer. And so if you have dreams of being a writer and you hate reading and you don't like practicing writing, you have to start with reality. If you've got four kids or six kids and you want to be a person of service, you've created a world that you can't afford, right? So you go back to the New Testament. Paul says, if you have a wife, if you've created a world that can't you can't afford right so you go back to the new testament paul says if you have a wife if you got kids your allegiance has to be to them it can't be to this other thing right so i think for everybody who's i want this but i want this but i've got this

a starting place to being well and building wealth over the long term is being honest about where you are right now that's why dave says pull out one sheet of paper and write down all your debts, smallest to largest. That is choosing reality, right? That's why a mental health professional, when you sit in and they say, how can I help you today, right now? And you lay it out there. The doctor says, where does it hurt right now? You got to start with reality. Otherwise you just end up all over the place, man. It's just, it's untethered feeling. I want this, but I can't have that. And then you end up with four kids stacked to the ceiling on bunk beds in your parents' house and your wife and your mother about to stab each other to death, right? And dad listens to murder

podcasts. They'll never find the body. It's the whole thing's a mess. All because, hey, we have to be honest about the world we've created for ourself and we wanted to do job X. It's not going to happen. We've got to go. I got to go work in IT. I got to start a yard business, whatever it is, because this is my reality. And that's not a pessimistic or cynical take. No, it's a freedom. It's freedom. It's freedom. It's freedom. And if you live in New York City, but you also really want to be a homeowner, it might mean you have to leave New York City city i you know what i'm not brad pitt the chances of me being a lead romantic interest in a movie zero zero so i can spend all that angst and all that energy all that fighting ah or i can try to become the best

character actor of all time first you know i mean i can own reality and be the best at that thing you just sit on something important. You and I both talk to young people who, they just moved to New York. I'm just going to live there. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. And they find themselves living in a three foot by one foot coffin. That's a closet with a full kitchen and a bathroom and a bed in it. And they're paying $11,000 a month for it. And they can't move. And you just got to back up and go,

what life? And they want a yard and a dog too. What? You got to choose reality. I don't know if I could stamp that on the, if I could tattoo that on every person I come in contact with, I think we'd have a healthier world. Well, and the sooner that anyone,

whether they're young or old, the sooner you realize that, the less resentment you'll have later on in life. When you look back and go, oh my gosh, I wasted so much time. And what if, and if I just had known, and if I just made that move. So the sooner you can look in that mirror

with full reality, the good, the bad, the ugly, the sooner you can make the right path forward. Exactly. That's a good word. All right, let's go to the phones. Joshua joins us in Greensboro, North Carolina. Joshua, welcome to the show. Hello, Mr. DeLay, Mr. Campbell.

It's a pleasure to speak to both of y'all. You too. What's going on? Yeah. I have a question. My parents are offering me a car to buy from them. I just got my license like a week ago. I'm 17, and they're offering me.

It's a 2003 Dodge Durango. It's been very well taken care of and everything. They're offering it to me for $1,500, and that's like a deal. I don't think you see it on cars these days. It's a great deal, but I do have some problems with buying it. Financially, it's a great buy, but I was just wondering. I do have some money history with my parents of just stuff that's happened, and I'm wondering, should I just put that all aside and buy this car

since it's a really good deal, or what I should do? What do you mean money history? Are there strings attached if you buy this car since it's a really good deal. I like what I should do. What do you mean money history? Are there strings attached if you buy this car? Yeah. Like I'm afraid that if I buy this car, it's going to like come back to bite me later. Tell me what that means. Like,

um, what has happened in the past? What's happened in the past that makes you think that will happen in the future? Uh, I've had problems with my bank account. I have my own bank account, and I've had my parents go in it before without telling me and taking money out of it.

They have replenished it. They did put it back, and I told them directly, I do not mind if they take money out of my bank account. If they put it back, I just want to know so I know where my money is. Hey, Joshua. What happened to you is not right. I'm sorry.

Mom and dad shouldn't steal money out of their kids' accounts. Like I said, it's not a big deal. Hold on, hold on. It's a huge deal. You're talking to a current parent, and George is about to be parents we're not going to take money from our kids we're not going to steal from our kids it is a big deal and it hurts when it happens it hurt it scared you didn't it and it violated the trust that you have with them so you're learning a valuable lesson

right now that I hope you never lose because all of the world around you is going to try to take this from you. And that is Joshua's trust in Joshua. That feeling in your gut. This deal is amazing. And I don't think it's right. So one of my rules of thumb, one of my rules of life is george and i were just talking about i like i have a guy and that's not a gendered thing it's like i've got i've got a friend and she is a she's a cancer researcher if i have a question i i call her why she's brilliant i got a friend who

is a um trauma counselor if i got a question i call I got a buddy who's a banker. I don't even think about it. But at the same time, I don't do any sort of business ever with people I don't trust. Period. Even if it's the deal of a century. Because like you said, it will come back and bite you. I think you know the

answer and I think it breaks your heart that your parents have put you in this position that you can't even take a great deal because they're not trustworthy. Is that right yes sir well what'll happen is and i think you smell this coming down the road is they say hold on no no we need money we gave you a deal on that car that car was worth five thousand dollars so really you still owe us thirty five hundred or they take it back when you're going to college like uh we hey we need that car we need our car back our car broke down that was really our car back. Our car broke down. That was really our car.

We gave you such a deal. It's not really yours. You can tell these situations. You know it's going to happen, right, Josh? That's what I'm afraid of. And that's the exact reason why you shouldn't do this. Yeah, dude, I hate this for you. The one twist might be

if you got something in writing. And I understand how incredibly difficult that would be. But if you sat down with your mom or dad and said, it really scared me and it broke my heart when you took money out of my account and it made me lose trust, it scared me. And I'm afraid I'm going to buy this car and you guys are going to do something else like that again in the future. And I got some wisdom from some guys who see families hurt each other all the time, and I'd like you to put in writing that move the title into my name. This is my car. And put in writing, I'm selling this car to my son for $1,500,

and he owns the title to it, so they can't come take it back from you. If you want to have that conversation, then I'd entertain it. But that's a really tough conversation for a 17-year-old to have. May just be best to say, thanks, mom, but no thanks. That puts this hour of The Ramsey Show in the books. My thanks to John Deloney, my co-host, all the folks in the booth keeping the show afloat, and you, America. Thank you for listening. Until next time, spend wisely, save intentionally, and give generously. Hey, it's George Camel. If you like what you heard in this episode and want to know more about getting started on the Ramsey Baby Steps, go to ramseysolutions.com and click on the Get Started button. We'll help you figure out the best next step for you based on your specific situation. That's ramsaysolutions.com

and click Get Started.