The Ramsey Show - App - This Is the Fastest Way To Pay Off Debt (Hour 3)

Episode Date: June 5, 2023

Dave Ramsey & George Kamel answer your questions and discuss:  "How do I find a house without an HOA?" "How do I start paying off my debt?" "Should we get another mortgage?" How to pay for med sc...hool, "My husband and I disagree about credit cards" Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Join a Personality-led FPU class. Click here! Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3cEP4n6 Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Interested in advertising on The Ramsey Show? https://ter.li/s64ye3 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Девочка-пай Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the pods moving and storage studios, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Open phones this hour, George Camel, Ramsey personality, co-host of Smart Money Happy Hour with the one and only Rachel Cruz on the Ramsey Networks and the new George Camel YouTube channel. My favorite part is the snark. You don't want to miss it. Check them all out.
Starting point is 00:01:04 The phone number here is 888-825-5225 daniella is with us in albuquerque new mexico hi daniella how are you hi good grateful to be here cool how can we help i'm currently house hunting but i do not want an HOA because I want backyard chicken however in my price range I can't really find anything that I like I'm what I want to put 20 percent down but I just want to know if I'm being too picky and how do I know if I have unrealistic expectations well first thing that comes to mind is with an hoa there's a bunch of clucks but that doesn't matter yeah but it was a pun in here so there had to be something in here yeah i'm with you i'm not a fan of hoas although i am and a few of them lord jesus
Starting point is 00:02:00 pray for me help me and um, I don't blame you. I'm not sure I want to buy a house based on chickens. What's the heart behind the chicken ownership? Well, most of it is, yes, I don't want an HOA, and also I just want chickens to have their own eggs, eventually, you know, mini homestead sort of thing. Yeah, so you're actually looking for a small piece of ground and not in a neighborhood, more than the HOA issue. Because, I mean, you're not going to homestead
Starting point is 00:02:34 and have multiple farm animals in a suburban situation even if there is no HOA. They have stuff called codes, usually. Possibly. I just know that New Mexico is pretty lenient on that. That's true. That's true. In suburbs, you know, their neighbors,
Starting point is 00:02:52 we have goats and chickens. Yeah, but neighbors aren't always real lenient. Right. I mean, a certain number of barn animals, farm animals in a non-farm situation will go away, but after a while, the neighbors are going to get, whether you've got a HOA or not, somebody's going to shoot your chickens.
Starting point is 00:03:07 I mean, they just don't want to get up at 5 o'clock in the morning. So, yeah, it is New Mexico, so it's a little bit like Tennessee. But, yeah, I think you're looking for a piece of ground. How much money have you got for your down payment? I have $70,000. Good. Way to go. what do you make uh i mean it ranges but in between 85 to 96 good for you and you're single i'm single i'm 26 years old have you
Starting point is 00:03:36 lived this farm life before oh no okay you know what i we had a ramsey personality for a while that did this remember right Christy Wright's story? Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's got a great story about when she was a farmer. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. That thing, you remember? And, yeah, you've got to be old. Look that one up.
Starting point is 00:03:54 But, anyway, the, hmm. You know what I would do? I would try to find a place that allows animals that has, like, five or ten acres and rent it for a year and let's give this a shot before i invest based on the whole homestead farm animal thing when i've never done it i might i might try that um i i recommend that sometimes in vacation home settings where someone says you know i've always wanted a beach house and then they go rent there for a year and find out there's sand um and on everything you touch for days there's sand and you can't get rid of the sand and they don't i'm not gonna live here so um yeah that that's what ends up happening so yeah i think i'd give this a run as a renter
Starting point is 00:04:38 uh for a year and let's experiment and see if we do want to live out a little bit and have a little bit of acreage and as a 26-year-old young lady be running some farm animals around. That might end up not being as fun and romantic as it sounds like. Yeah, and I would be working with a good real estate pro as well in your area who can find these pieces. I mean, your options are going to be more limited, and so you've got to be okay with the consequences of that choice of going,
Starting point is 00:05:04 I want a little piece of land and here's what i want on it yeah but i do think you're probably gonna be uh outside of suburbia you're probably gonna be just outside of town so to speak and um you can do that and that and albuquerque that might not be a bad thing yeah you know it might not be a bad thing albuquerque is a great little town but um but but there's some pretty areas out there particularly you head over towards taos and all that it's beautiful over towards the mountains so uh it starts to get expensive over there too by the way but yeah yeah so just um but but anytime you've got activities other than just normal shelter involved in your housing like farm or whatever then let let's i always suggest giving
Starting point is 00:05:48 her a little rent and give her a little try well our pal christy's story was she got fed up with it in about two years yeah if i recall well and dr john deloney had some chickens and he just told me there was some kind of like rat infestation they had to get rid of the chickens and so his that was just the other day yeah his dream of chicken ownership is gone i have no well it's that's i'm that's not a credible source though john john and chickens that's not that's not credible i take all of his stories with a grain of salt i think um well yeah rat and fist yeah so who gets that deloney but the uh but yeah christie's was i think hers was valid i mean she just ran farm animals and got tired of it and then decided i wanted to be like in the city again and so i'm i think she was
Starting point is 00:06:31 glad she didn't own it yes this is the end of the story so um if i recall i remember hearing the story a few times so um that's where we'll go that's how i would look at it thank you for the call tim is in detroit hi, Tim. How are you? Good. How about you guys? Better than we deserve, sir. How can we help? Well, I'm about $75,000 or $80,000 in debt, mixed between credit cards, consumer
Starting point is 00:06:55 debt, mostly vehicle payment. This is all not including the house, and looking for your advice on how to get out of it. Okay. How much do you owe on the car? Roughly $38,000. What do you make? I bring home about $1,100 a week.
Starting point is 00:07:13 It fluctuates a little bit, but $1,100 is about average. Sell the car. Okay. It's completely insane. I agree. Yeah. You bought way too much car. It's not brought you the joy that you wanted it to bring you.
Starting point is 00:07:29 It's brought you more stress. Now, there's times when you sit in and turn the key. It's joyful for a moment. But then when you remember the payment, it makes you want to throw up a little in your mouth. No. Question for getting rid of it is I've got, I think I've heard in the past you recommend getting a personal loan to pay off the difference in what it's worth. Is that what you would recommend doing? Yeah, what's it worth?
Starting point is 00:07:53 Or should I borrow 1K? No, what's it worth? It's worth about $28,000. Who said? That's what Kelly Blue Book said. On private sale or trade-in? I believe that was private. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:06 How long you had this car? About just over a year. Did you roll negative equity into it? I did. Yeah, okay. That's the only way you get that far in that fast. Yeah. So you already had the...
Starting point is 00:08:21 I would get a personal loan at the credit union for $10,000, and I would sell this puppy and get you a hoopty. That's a good start because you got a $750, $800 car payment, and you make $50,000 a year. This is no fun. This is not the definition of fun. I want you to get your life back, man, and drive like no one else so later you can drive like no one else.
Starting point is 00:08:41 Let's get you where you're not broke anymore and then get you a good car. That's how I would do it. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, you guys. Health insurance costs are only moving one way, and that way isn't down. And if higher costs aren't enough, the wait times to see your doctor are longer,
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Starting point is 00:10:10 It was off the chain. And the weird thing is I can honestly say the only one better is going to be next year's. And it's going to be. I am absolutely thrilled to announce. And a large number of these tickets are already sold, and I think the hotel that we're going to is already sold out. But I'm going to go ahead and announce this anyway. Entree Leadership Summit, which is possibly the premier leadership conference in America today.
Starting point is 00:10:37 We happen to do it, but it's so good that if I wasn't doing it, I would go as an attendee. It's amazing. It's really, really good. If you're a business leader, investing in your own growth is something you do. Our friend John Maxwell says leadership is the leadership ability is the lid that determines a person's level of effectiveness. You got to invest in yourself if you want to grow in leadership. And the premier conference next year, Entree Leadership, you're going to be challenged. Listen to this. Top minds. James Clear of Atomic Habits.
Starting point is 00:11:08 Craig Groeschel of Life.Church. Mike Rowe of Deadliest Catch and Dirty Jobs. Carrie Lawrence. Carrie was the first female fighter pilot in American history, and she is a motivational machine. She's something else. And I'm going to speak to Dave Ramsey, Dr. John Deloney, Ken Coleman. Next year's summit will be our 10th year anniversary.
Starting point is 00:11:31 We're taking over the Gaylord Texan in Dallas to celebrate. If you want to grow and you want to be there, you need to go right now. I think the platinum tickets are gone. The preferred are almost gone. I think the hotel rooms are gone. There was less almost gone. I think the hotel rooms are gone. There was less than 900 left the other day, and I'm pretty sure we sold them out. But maybe not. You can check.
Starting point is 00:11:51 Go to RamseySolutions.com slash summit. April 21 through 24, next year. And it's on sale right now. It goes on sale today to the public, so you're the first public to hear about this. RamseyS solutions.com slash summit andrea is with us in des moines iowa did i push the wrong button i did andrea is in des moines iowa how are you andrea i'm great thank you so much for taking my call david george sure what's up so my question is we're in baby step seven and i was wondering if it's okay or
Starting point is 00:12:23 if it's violating the principles to get go back into debt for a mortgage to get a bigger house so the situation is I've started working again our household income went up seventy thousand dollars so we're at about two hundred thousand dollars annual income we have a net worth about about $800,000, and our primary residence, our only residence, is worth $350,000 about, and we have over our emergency fund about $100,000 in savings. And you want to move from $350,000 to what? To about $750,000 or $800,000. Mm-hmm. Okay. or 800 and um our current house is like 1300 square feet plus 1100 square feet finished
Starting point is 00:13:10 basement and we have five kids okay um well there's not a uh a principle in the ramsey process or baby steps that prevents you from doing that as long as the payment's no more than a fourth of your take-home pay on a 15-year fixed. I've got to share with you the truth. I mean, you make $200,000 a year. Sure. You have $100,000 saved. You have $350,000, so that's $450,000. $550,000, $650,000, $750,000.
Starting point is 00:13:40 You can do this in three years if you just save it. Okay. Would you delay investing for that to save it um i mean you got you have an 800 000 net worth at what age 41 yeah you can if you want i i would have to figure it out because I don't borrow money and it would be particularly hard for me to go back into debt once I had received personally. This is just a personal observation, not a discussion of the baby steps or the principles. The principles are you can go do it as long as you do it on 15 year. But I just couldn't do it it emotionally i just couldn't put myself back in there i i i i value my freedom more than i do my style of living standard of living yeah that's
Starting point is 00:14:35 where we're at my husband is on team what would dave do and i'm on team dave wouldn't yell at me yeah well dave's not gonna yell dave's not gonna yell at either one of you you're rock stars i mean you're amazing oh you can't say rock stars anymore after the commercials. But yeah, you're amazing. You're fabulous. And you've done a great job. You're approaching a million dollar net worth. You're making $200,000 a year. You got five kids. Everything's paid for. There's no Dave yell at you anywhere. Thank you. all at you anywhere but i just got it i would be sad because i just couldn't do it emotionally gotcha i just it would just it makes my stomach hurt a little bit thinking about it and that mortgage would be we're talking a four hundred thousand dollar mortgage so that's that's sizable that's more than the house is worth they put down 400 after fees you wait till spring maybe 300 but still and but then you could pay it off in three years.
Starting point is 00:15:25 That would be the goal. If they did this move, it would be how fast can we pay this off to get back to them. Put it on $100,000 a year. Because you just increased your household income by 70 the other day. So I think you could put $100,000 a year on this and probably still do investing. But I would have to, and if you were saving to buy, how deep would you sacrifice to save up to pay cash so that you could do it in two and a half years rather than four and a half years? You know, if you just put a little thermometer, a savings thermometer on the refrigerator and you colored it in, right?
Starting point is 00:15:55 Made it a big goal. How fast could we get there? Because that's honestly how we do everything. We can't do it until we can see how we can pay for it. Because we don't borrow money. Because I just can't go back to having anything in my mailbox or my inbox that looks like a bank. No more payments. I just can't do it. Life is too good.
Starting point is 00:16:19 I've been free for too long. I mean, it's a little bit of slavery, okay? Would you yell at me for some slavery no i'm not gonna yell at you but i'll be sad for your slavery well once you live without that payment i mean it's it's not what would dave do that's not the point it's not me i mean it's it's you know why did you do all this work to get to here and then want to go back after you got here. It feels like we're, you know, I lost 600 pounds. Is it okay to eat a box of donuts? Yeah, but probably not going to give you what you thought it was going to give you, you know.
Starting point is 00:16:56 And it's just probably not going to feel good when you finish. You're probably going to wake up with like a sugar hangover. A little regret. Yeah, it could happen. You know, I haven't had a drink in 10 years. I used to be an alcoholic, but I think I'm going to try some bourbon tonight. You know what I mean? I just don't get it.
Starting point is 00:17:12 It's dangerous. I don't know if those metaphors play or not. I'm sorry for you people in the addiction field. But, yeah, oh, my gosh, yeah. But there's something there. I just, um, and it's, y'all don't need my permission out there or Georgia's permission to do stuff. We're just trying to give you principles and guidelines that are your shortest, best route
Starting point is 00:17:38 to a great life of wealth and prosperity. We want you to be there and we want you to stay there when you get there. So I don't know i i'm uh but yeah technically we don't tell people um if you wanted to go upgrade the house and take on a people do it all the time they do it all the time and then they turn around but i gotta tell you you're probably gonna hate it so much you're probably gonna go bananas and pay it off really really fast because it it's probably going to drive you. Which again, if you stay there with five kids, you're going to want to save up really fast to go, we got to upgrade this thing.
Starting point is 00:18:11 So either way, it's going to happen. Yeah, I think that's the way we do it. And either what happens is we either get increasingly motivated and cut deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper to get to things sooner or to get to that goal sooner or we um or we get decreasingly motivated and we realize we didn't want it and we abandon the goal one of the two the last time we did this that i can remember where we cut at the ramsey place really really really deep uh was about gosh i'm trying to think it's probably 15 years ago when we bought what is Financial Peace Plaza. Oh, yeah, our old headquarters.
Starting point is 00:18:47 Our old headquarters. And I bought that building for $5 million, and it was the first time I had bought something that expensive. And there was a timeline to that, right? Yeah, and I had to close it by a certain date. I had an option on it. And if I didn't close it by that date, I was not going to get it. And by the time the date was up, the building was worth 13 million and I had it tied up at five. Wow. So I had $8 million on the table. That's some incentive.
Starting point is 00:19:09 That I was going to walk away from if I didn't come up with the money, but I wasn't willing to borrow it. Man, we scratched every nickel out of the corner of the couch. We turned couches upside down and shook them. You did a GoFundMe before it wasn't cool? I mean, we did everything and we barely closed on that building, but I would have walked before I went into that. I would have walked away from it. You're crazy, Ramsey. Yeah, crazy like a fox. This is The Ramsey Show.
Starting point is 00:19:39 George Campbell, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Thank you for joining us, America. I'm Dave Ramsey, your my co-host today. Thank you for joining us, America. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Common sense here. It's so rare now. Having it is like having a superpower. Vivian is with us in San Antonio, Texas. Hi, Vivian.
Starting point is 00:19:56 How are you? I'm great. How are you guys? Better than we deserve. What's up? So I'm an undergrad student right now, and I found you guys through my sister about a year and a half ago. So I actually just recently started listening to you guys every morning.
Starting point is 00:20:11 And so my question is that, oh, thank you. You guys have really taught me a lot. And it's kind of made me a little bit more aware of my financial situation. And I plan to go to medical school in 2025. And I'm unsure where I want to go right now, but Texas seems to be the best bet just because it could be cheaper, and I like Texas overall. But I want to feel more confident in my financial situation.
Starting point is 00:20:35 So my question is, how can I set myself up for success knowing that I have about $40,000 in undergrad debt right now while I plan to go to medical school? Wow, good for you. And so you're currently working on your undergrad? Yes. Okay. How's your GPA?
Starting point is 00:20:52 It's good. So I'm hoping to get my science GPA up a little bit more to be more competitive to kind of have more options for medical school. Yeah, you're going to need a 4.0, aren't you? Well, yes, basically. That's the goal of trying to get as high as possible. Yeah. Okay. That to need a 4.0, aren't you? Well, yes, basically. That's the goal of trying to get as high as possible. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:21:09 That's why I asked. And how much do you have left in your undergrad? I have one semester left. I'll be graduating next fall. So you're graduating this Christmas, right? Yes. Or you're going this summer and you're graduating in September. What are you saying?
Starting point is 00:21:27 I'm sorry? You're going to graduate this coming September or this coming December? December. Okay. All right. So about six months from now, you're going to be done. And that's 2024, and then 2025 is med school. What's the gap?
Starting point is 00:21:43 The gap is just to kind of get some money together that way and build up my resume. That way I can actually be more competitive, like volunteering, getting shadowing experience and good for you. Just like a pile of money. Very, very well done. I love your, I love your plan. Love your plan. And you're going to clear the 40 grand while you're doing that. You can clear that living on nothing. Can you live at your parents' house while you're doing all this?
Starting point is 00:22:06 No. My parents actually live in a different state, so I'm on my own over here. Oh, okay. But I do have low rent, so that's something that has been going for me lately. Yeah, and you're not afraid of work and you are a planner. I like this conversation so far. So what is med school going to cost? I'm not sure.
Starting point is 00:22:22 So usually they say, let me see here. So there's only two places in San Antonio, but mostly I would say it's about, it can be up to like 30,000 a year or no, that was 50,000 a year or so. Depending on the place I go, I'm hoping that I can go to a place that has like maybe 30,000
Starting point is 00:22:39 and that way it won't be so much. And plus San Antonio has low cost of living, thank God. So that way I can hopefully just get things under the belt. It's a great city. You're in a great place. So all that's a good plan. Well, the thing I want to do is exactly what you're doing. To start with, most people who want to go into medical school are so desperate to go to medical school that if
Starting point is 00:23:06 someone accepts them regardless of the cost they go oh that's it god god is here i'm going you know and so instead you're going i think i'm going to shop for a better deal i like your plan a whole lot better yeah it's a much better attitude a much better approach that's going to save you 150 or 200 000 your attitude will yes i'm hoping so no it will it will because you That's going to save you $150,000 or $200,000. Your attitude will. Yes, I'm hoping so. No, it will. It will because you're not going to do it if you don't. And so we're going to pile up a pile of money. We're going to clear the $40,000 during the gap year.
Starting point is 00:23:33 We're going to apply until we get into a place that is the least possible expensive to get a medical degree, which, by the way, that doesn't hurt you. I've been to a lot of doctors in my life. I have never once asked one where they went to med school. Never once. That's something that has been, like, making me a little nervous of these top-notch schools that people kind of say, oh, so here you have better resources. Yeah, maybe.
Starting point is 00:23:59 That's mostly just marketing. That's mostly a bunch of, yeah. I can't even read the font on the frame in my doctor's office, okay, let alone figure out where he went. He just has good bedside manner, and I trust him, and that's all it is. It depends on, I mean, obviously, if you're going to do research in some kind of muckety-muck situation where you go to school, it might matter. But if you're going to practice medicine, no one asks the nurse,
Starting point is 00:24:22 no one asks the lab tech, no one asked the anesthesiologist right before they stick in the needle where they were, where they trained. They just go, are you going to kill me or are you going to heal me? That's all we want to know. Yeah. Right. And so that all joking aside, that's the most overstated bunch of garbage in the world where you went to law school or where you went to med school.
Starting point is 00:24:42 Sorry, boys and girls, but there's life. And now, so you're going to go where you can afford med school sorry boys and girls but there's life and now so you're going to go where you can afford to go the most now so we've at a minimum you have limited your student loans to almost nothing the second thing the second component of that i think is already built into your plan after talking to you because you're wise beyond your years is that a whole lot of people, when they're doing graduate work, feel like there's no reason not to borrow the money because they're going to make a lot of money later. And so about as much as 50% of student loan debt, undergrad and grad, goes to lifestyle, not to education.
Starting point is 00:25:23 So people spend like they're in congress when they're in school and uh you know used to when you went to school you live like a poor man's life while you're getting your school and you're just trying to scrape together the nickels for the tuition now we borrow enough to rent the apartment with a skylight a jacuzzi and a racquetball court and oh they may need to have pickleball these days too so um but yeah that all that and none of that matt none of that has anything to do with getting your medical degree so you've already kind of got a lifestyle thing going if you keep that going you don't borrow money to eat if you borrow money at all it's a few nickels that you couldn't rub together for something else and i
Starting point is 00:25:59 don't recommend that but that's at least going to limit the damage that this does and how long it takes the patient to recover to stretch a metaphor so um then the last thing i'll tell you is this i would talk to every medical establishment i could there's a shortage of docs particularly in certain types of practices and service if you agreed to work for hospital company of whatever and you named it uh and and you agreed to work in their hospital that was in a rural environment for three years after graduation and they paid you very well for working there but you agreed to work in a place where they have trouble getting docs they might scholarship you okay i'm gonna go shopping on stuff like that because there's such a problem post-covid with uh medical folk particularly in what we call underserved areas which would
Starting point is 00:26:54 be rural areas and inner city areas they can't get nurses they can't get docs and so eight the hca I'm sorry, go ahead. I also have a question. So I do have a Roth IRA that I haven't been contributing. I started it. No, you're a better investment. Put all the money in you. Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:16 That's exactly what I was going to ask. Should I even be putting any money, or should I just leave the amount that I have and just focus on debt? Exactly. Exactly. Leave it, and let's completely focus everything on this singular goal. Because the good news is if you can graduate and pass your boards and you're a doc, you're going to make really good money if you're smart, and you're smart.
Starting point is 00:27:35 You're going to be someone who maximizes this education and turns it, monetizes it, turns it into a good return. Yeah, these, especially with med school, it's like the people who say, well, Dave, I live in California. The math doesn't apply here. The same mentality happens with folks going to med school. They go, well, your plan's out the window. I'm going to go in as much debt as I need to. Blank check, monopoly money. We'll figure it out later. Well, I mean, the number of times in 30 years I've talked to someone, like not that long ago, a lady called. She's 32 years old, medical doctor, making $250,000 year she has she had a new baby
Starting point is 00:28:07 special needs she wants to quit but she's got four hundred thousand dollars in debt she wants to quit take care of her new special needs baby but she's got four hundred thousand dollars in debt see life doesn't exactly roll out the way that you this idea that if i borrow money it's all going to be okay because i'm going to make money yeah maybe until dot dot dot called life you know and so that's the problem with the assumption on this stuff assumptions yeah those are dangerous this is the ramsey show our scripture of the day john 15 13 greater love has no one than this that someone lay down his life for his friends mark twain said the trouble is not dying for a friend but in finding a friend worth dying for he has a way with words at twain oh that's wrong heather's in phoenix arizona hi heather welcome to the ramsey show hello thank you so much for taking my call sure
Starting point is 00:29:15 what's up so um my husband and i are on baby step two um but he's made it clear that once our debt is paid off, he doesn't want to close the cards. And I just feel like it's completely unnecessary because we have six credit cards. And his argument is, as long as we stick to the budget, you know, we'll be fine. He uses miles and points with certain cards, and it's just chaotic to me to track all of those payment deductions, and so we're kind of at a disagreement there. I don't really know what to do. Sell the husband. That easy. I wonder what we know what to do. Sell the husband. That easy. I wonder what we could get for him. I wonder if you could, can you get miles on that transaction?
Starting point is 00:30:14 Oh, my gosh, Heather, I'm sorry. How long have you all been married? Eight years. Okay. How long have you been working on this? Two weeks. We did do the, well, I did the baby step two in three years ago and paid off $50,000 of credit card debt by myself in one year because he had lost his job. But then I'm kicking myself because I didn't go beyond that step. And he lost his job again in April. And we're still in the same place where we have less credit card debt, but we're not really, you know, we didn't really go beyond that so we didn't have the three to six months of
Starting point is 00:31:05 living expenses um we had bought a new car last year which i'm met now mad about but um you know let me just tell you let me tell you what i hear okay when i first started talking to you i thought i heard it and now that i've heard a little more i'm positive i heard it in your voice when you're talking about him and his behaviors i hear fear his behaviors are terrifying you because his job is irregular his principles for handling money are stupid and they're leaving you at risk and you know it and it doesn't make you mad. It scares you. Yeah. You don't feel safe.
Starting point is 00:31:49 Totally. Yeah. So this is not about credit cards. This is not about credit cards. This is about marriage. Yeah. And so I don't know exactly what will fix this. It is not unusual for couples to disagree about everything, So I don't know exactly what will fix this.
Starting point is 00:32:09 It is not unusual for couples to disagree about everything, including money. If Larry Burkett used to say opposites attract, then if one of you, if you're just alike, one of you is unnecessary. So it's okay that you're opposites. And how old is he? 35. We're both 35. Okay. So when I was 25 i was him sharon didn't get a voice she didn't get a vote i was smarter than everybody and i did
Starting point is 00:32:34 whatever the flip i wanted to do and she felt very unsafe not physically unsafe not like i was abusive that's not what we're talking about and she had a reason to feel unsafe because it wasn't long after that that we went completely bankrupt because I was a moron. Okay. That's how I can to hear this sound in your voice because I've heard it at home a long, long time ago, 30 plus years ago now. Okay. So I'm telling you all that to say you're not wrong, but I'm not also asking you to be mean. But I am telling you that this is not a sustainable relationship the way it's working now. It will not end well if we don't repair and develop a better method of negotiating things in your house. And so worst case, not worst case, case but a case an element could be marriage counseling
Starting point is 00:33:28 that wouldn't be a bad thing by the way it helped me considerably um the the actual facts around the issues are very easy to dispute but i don't think that we're dealing with facts here i think we're dealing with he has an opinion and he really doesn't want you to have a vote. And you watch his opinions play out, and they're terrifying you because he's so wrong. He keeps messing everything up. And so, you know, it's laughable that you guys are in financial trouble because of his instability in his career, and yet he has a plan to make everybody rich with airline miles. That's humorous.
Starting point is 00:34:11 It's so dumb. So, I mean, really. I totally agree. The credit card company's marketing is working. Yeah. I mean, you know, it's like I always laugh and say, you know, I hired a personal trainer. He has an eight pack and I have a keg, but I'm not going to listen to him.
Starting point is 00:34:31 But I'm not going to listen to him. Why would I listen to this guy? I've got it. Obviously, based on my physique, I have it all figured out. I mean, that's ridiculous. So, no, I've got to listen to Mr. Eight Pack. And if he says eat carrots, not donuts, bubba you need to eat carrots and not donuts bubba or you're not going to get one of these you're going to keep that thing on the
Starting point is 00:34:49 front of you and so you know i mean this is how this works it's not you have to submit yourself to the actual facts so um i want to give you financial peace university because i love your husband because i remember him well he lives deep inside of me and um I want to help him and I want the two of you to go through that class together I'm going to pay for it no cost to you guys all I ask is is that you talk him into watching the videos and going through the class with you and tell him to shut up and listen absolutely i thank you so much i i know it will help it'll help but it and i might you know the lessons are really good and they might get through and that might be all it takes but you also may need to sit down with your pastor with a good
Starting point is 00:35:39 marriage counselor and you guys work on your uh communication style because we've been married sharon i've been married 41 years and she laughingly says uh you know that somewhere around 36 of those were excellent that's a pretty good track record so uh and i think i know where the other ones were they were back there in the early days and so yeah when uh she found her voice she says and well by god she did there's no question about that but we love her for she now gets two votes she used to only have no votes so now she gets two but yeah but the uh anyway we're joke about that but that's it's a it's a good thing for us to be on she and i i had to learn this proverb who can find a virtuous wife for her worth is far above rubies the heart of her husband safely trusts her and he will have no lack of gain so if sharon has a bad feeling about something and she's from the hills of east
Starting point is 00:36:34 tennessee it's a seven syllable word a failing if she has a bad failing about something we don't do it because it costs me a minimum of 10 grand not because i have to pay her that but because i'm getting ready to do something stupid with money is what that means we don't give to a charity a ministry that we both are not in agreement on and have peace to we don't make major purchases that we're not in agreement and have peace about we don't go and buy a car and come home and say look what i did honey or you got to go along with my stupid stuff just to prove you love me. We don't do this. We have peace about these major moves,
Starting point is 00:37:09 and then we make wise major moves, and it's caused us to become wealthy, healthy, and wise. One of the most beautiful parts about marriage is accountability and unity, and one of the hardest parts about marriage is accountability and unity. And for eight years, you guys have not been on the
Starting point is 00:37:25 same page. You haven't had a vision for the future. It's just been his schemes and his plans while you sit back and take the brunt of this. And you need to be very clear with him that you are scared. This is not okay. I don't think this is an intellectual discussion about credit card awards. No. This is way deeper than that. This is just a symptom for something much deeper. And go through the financial peace course, every lesson, and really make him watch and see if you guys can get on a plan and gain that. And listen, if he listens to this and it pisses him off, tell him to call me. I'll be happy to talk to him. That'll be fun. I'd love to talk to him. No, I mean, I'm not mad at him. Has that happened before? You get the spouse to call him later? I'll help him. I'll be happy
Starting point is 00:38:02 to help him. Hey, Skyler, pick up and help them get to Financial Peace University. That puts us sour in the books. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Hey, George Camel here. If you love the show and you want a deeper dive on your money journey, we've got a weekly newsletter that gives you helpful articles and tips on following the Ramsey way. Just go to RamseySolutions.com today to sign up for the newsletter. Again, that's RamseySolutions.com to sign up for our weekly newsletter.

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