The Ramsey Show - App - This Whole Thing Sounds Like a Mess (Hour 1)

Episode Date: February 14, 2023

Dr. John Delony & Jade Warshaw answer your questions and discuss:   Dealing with a messy financial situation in a relationship, Mindset around wealth, discussing a recent viral video from a Chad Johnson interview, "Should I skip Baby Step 3?", Selling a fancy new car, "How much fun money should we budget for?" from the blog: Why You Need Some Fun Money in Your Budget Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Девочка-пай Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Paz Moving and Storage Studio, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Give us a buzz at 888-825-5225. they love and create actual amazing relationships. Give us a buzz at 888-825-5225. I'm John Deloney joined here by my good friend, Jade Warshaw. And we're here to burn this thing to the ground.

Come on, John. I hope y'all are doing well. 888-825-5225. Taking your calls on life, money, all of it. There's been a lot of buzz about getting you and I on the show together, so I'm excited for it. Oh, yeah. I'm excited for it.

This is the next decade or so. It's going to be awesome. Pure pandemonium, John. I can't wait. Let's go to Jennifer in the BCC in British Columbia. What's up, Jennifer? Hi. Thank you so much for taking my call, you guys.

Of course. Thanks for calling. What's up? I'm calling because right now I'm just going through a trying time in my relationship. My fiance and I purchased a house last year, and I just needed help getting on board with paying bills as well as just pretty much paying the bills. And I'm currently on maternity leave, and I was wondering if I should come off of maternity leave to double our income so that we're able to pay off our bills faster. What's beneath... Money's a part of this. What else is happening? I think it's also a communication problem.

What's happening is that my parents have been very helpful to us. So I think what happens is, along with the bill, that they kind of rely on me. So if everything is not paid, my parents will pay for it. And I'm just in a stage of my life where I kind of want to stand on my own and not really have so much help from my parents. And I'm just trying to get my partner on board with my fiance on board so that we could crush our like financial debts together. So he's resting on the laurels of your parents being the safety net. Am I, am I gathering that correctly? Pretty much. I have a big problem with this. Yeah. The whole thing sounds like a mess. I have a, I have a big problem with this. Yeah, the whole thing sounds like a mess. I have a big problem.

You're pregnant. How far along are you? No, I'm on maternity leave. Oh, you're on leave. Okay. Yeah, she's currently five months right now. Five months. So here in Canada, we get like a year.

So right now, I'm just making making 80 of my income from my job but if i go back to taking contracts and coming off of maternity leave i could make 100 or plus what's he making um a month like if you're at 80 of your income is, is he at 100% of his? And what does that mean? He's at 100% of his. And how much is that? A month he brings home after taxes, roughly $4,000. What problem are you trying to solve, Jennifer? I can't tell if you're married. I mean, you're not married, but I can't tell if your relationship has fallen apart,

if y'all are in the hole financially what's what's happening it's both because i'm one i don't know another 20 is going to change your life much um i agree but i think it's just the miscommunication between us and i think because i'm totally dave ranting he not, it makes things a lot hard. If I say, let's create a budget, let's do this together. He's just like, oh, it's OK. We'll work things out. So that's a foundational thing.

You know, you've got to be able to work together. And this is a really strong indicator that this is not going to just come up in finances. This is going to come up in so many other areas of your life and you got to be able to work together. Why is he so dismissive of your needs? I think because he knows that like we have a safety net, I think. No, no, no, no, that's different than that's, that's financial, right? That's, that's financial. No, no, no, no, no. That's different than, that's financial, right? That's financial. When you say, I want this or I need this, and he's like, I don't care. Why is he so dismissive?

I'm not sure, to be honest. I think you guys have got some real work to do, some real digging to do. Hey, can I just be honest with you? If it were me, this would be a major, major red flag. And I know you've got a kid with this dude now, but this is a problem. And what John is getting at

is that it's far deeper than money. And I agree with him wholeheartedly. Now on the phone today, I'm happy to help you with the money stuff, but please please don't let that make you feel like it's solved okay do we agree if I help you with the money if I help you with the money stuff we know the relationship stuff is not solved okay yeah so give me give me a couple of numbers so I can give you give you a jump off point here. Okay. So what kind of debt do you guys have?

We have like obviously a mortgage and then we owe about $40,000 to our line of credit. Okay. Is that credit cards or it's a HELOC? What kind of line of credit? It's just a credit card. Okay. Anything else? No. That's it? No cars?

No student loans? No, no. Okay. We're definitely in those kind of aspects. And so you said you're at 80% of your income. How much is that a month? Right now I bring in about 45. 45?

So you guys are about $8,500 a month? Yes. Okay. Here's the thing. You do need to get on a budget. You know that. So let's start budgeting because here's the thing. You're not married.

So you're well within your means to do your finances on your own. He's just your fiance at this point. Whether you go forward onto marriage is one thing. But right now, you, Jennifer, need to get on a budget with your $4,500 a month. And if I'm you, I'm not going to depend on his money like that. If he wants to put money towards paying for the kid, that's fine. But pay off your debt. Don't pay off his debt.

So how much of that $40,000 is yours and how much of it is his? It's both of ours. It's joint. No, it's not. Oh, it is. It's a joint like credit card that we have to make purchases for our house. Okay. So right from this day forward, keep those finances separate. Okay. Because I don't like how this looks going forward for you. And I don't want you to continue to get deeper and deeper in shared finances with someone that you're not married to. Because this could get real messy real fast. Am I right, John? It already is. Remember this line, Jennifer, behavior is a language.

And without using words, your husband is telling you, he has no, I mean, your fiance is telling you, I've got no interest in partnering with you on this deal. I have no interest in creating a life together with you. We do have a kid, congratulations to us, but I've got no interest in anything other than what I'm interested in. And if you're my sister, if you're my daughter, I'm telling you to get away from that guy. And I'm telling you as your friend, be as open and honest about what you need.

And so instead of sitting down and saying, hey, we need to do the Dave Ramsey plan. Say, fiance, I'm scared to death and I can't breathe. We have a new baby. I'm scared to death, owing $40,000. I'm sick and tired of calling my mommy and my daddy to come bail us out. It's time for me to be an adult, and I want to invite you to be an adult with me. And maybe for the first time he'll hear it because you're going to be honest and open for the first time too.

This is not a money issue. This is a relationship issue. Let's start there. We'll be right back on The Ramsey Show. this is the ramsay show i'm john deloney joined with my good friend jade warshaw and we are taking your calls on money and life 888-825-5225 We're talking money, talking your marriage, your relationships, your mental health, your work, whatever's going on. Holler at us. 888-825-5225 And before we get to this video here, don't forget, it costs literally nothing. I know times you're

hard, times everybody's strapped. That includes me and Jade. Everybody's dealing with this stuff, man. A great way you can support this show, and more importantly than supporting this show, we're fine. We pat each other on the back a lot. Really, it's a gift to that single mom

with two kids who's sitting at home, who's stuck and doesn't know what she's doing, and she's just scrolling YouTube because she finally got a moment of peace after her kids are in bed, or that over-the-road trucker who's just pulled into another rest stop and he's just scrolling through YouTube or listening to podcasts. Your likes, when you hit the subscribe button, your five-star reviews, it helps kick the

show up into the algorithm and makes it available to more people so that they can get the help that they need. And if you've been a beneficiary of that, I'm not asking for your money. I'm asking you just to hit subscribe, just leave a five-star review and just said, help change they need. And if you've been a beneficiary of that, I'm not asking for your money. I'm asking you just to hit subscribe, just hit, just leave a five-star review and just said, help change my life. And that will get that information in front of more people.

It's a great way to support us and more importantly, to support your neighbors. And it didn't cost you anything. All right. So Jade. What's up? James,

producer James, sent us a video. Yes, he did. Chad Ochocinco Johnson. Yeah. Former NFL wide receiver. Did an interview with Shannon Sharp on his Club Che Che podcast. James is a huge Club Che Che podcast fan.

That guy talks about that all the time. But we got a couple of videos here. He was speaking some stuff that might sound a little bit wild. You know, he was talking about money and what he does with his money. And let's let the people hear it. All right. So here is the part one of the video. Don't try to live a lifestyle you can't afford.

When people, they think the cure and the problem the fix for the problem is well give me more money i'm gonna be all right but the more you make the more you spend right if you have no discipline and no structure yes absolutely every time yes every time well just give me more and more no the more you get the more you're gonna spend and people ain't gonna listen because we are caught up in looking a certain way, living a certain way, trying to appease others who don't really care nothing about you. Yeah. Just to say, oh, I got it. Wow.

I got it too and I had it for almost 30 years. That doesn't save, what, 80, 83% of my salary. I don't need validation from nobody on the outside. That's another downfall. In society, we always need validation and acceptance from others. Don't try to live a lifestyle that you know you can't afford. Right. that's another downfall in society we always need validation and acceptance from others don't try to live a lifestyle that you know you can't afford right you can't you can't you can't do that all right so you got a pro football player it said in the in the in the copy there he flew spirit airlines instead of chartering a jet this guy made millions and millions and millions yeah

right um instead of flying southwest, I'm flying Spirit. Right. I mean. Fake jewelry. The whole thing. He's like, man, I don't have to prove myself to everybody. I love it. I love it.

I've been guilty of that. I've been guilty of being in situations where I feel like I have to prove like I belong here. And the way to prove I belong is by, you know, having the same bag she has, having the same shoes they have. And if you do that, it's like a status thing, but it's so deeply rooted in insecurity. It really is. Like, that's not, and I heard him say on another part of the interview too, like, that's not what gives you your worth. Like, what you can buy, are you kidding me? So, I really, I mean, I love love that it makes me think of that scripture one person pretends to be rich yet has nothing and another pretends to be poor but has great wealth i mean what do you want to do you want to you want to be fake rich or real

rich you know what i'm saying and i just i i like what he said this show is a lot about um like exact ratios and what's the exact percentage before I do this and the ratio before I do this and this. Yeah. And so I don't want to get caught up in the numbers here, but saving 80% of his income. Yes, he's extreme.

Well, but he's also making millions and millions. And I have been guilty of, he was exactly right. I've spent my entire career, my thinking, well, if I just made some more money, then fill in the blank. And what ends up happening is my house has gotten a little bit bigger. My car has gotten a little bit nicer. And I, and I realized a few, a few jobs ago, this just never stops until I stop it. I got to get off the train. The goalpost keeps moving. Every single time.

See what I did there? Yes. I see what you did there. Well played. Well played. So don't try to live a lifestyle you can afford. Yeah. Here's the hard truth of this. It's easy to look at Ocho Cinco and say, okay, he's worth millions and millions.

So what we are saying, and I'll say, you can join me or not. If you make $65,000 as a teacher, you've chosen a Corolla life. And that is, teacher, you've chosen a Corolla life. And that is, okay, you've chosen a Camry life until you can, what is it? The third job that's a millionaire, right?

There's engineers and something else and teachers, right? Yep, that's right. On the list. So you can get there. Absolutely. But you don't get to decide, well, I want to have an $80,000 Suburban, which is used, by the way. Right. When your take-home salary is $65,000.

Like, we have to live relative to the job we make instead of trying to live a lifestyle that we can't afford. I mean, I definitely think, yeah, for him, saving 83% of his income looks totally different than, like you said, a teacher, somebody who's making an average salary. It's not the same. I mean, I don't save 83% of my income. Are you kidding like you said a teacher somebody who's making an average salary it's not the same i mean i don't save 83 of my income are you kidding me like you i'd be wearing a cardboard box right now so well and i know there's teachers across the country that just rolled their eyes when i said 65 000 like i don't know what teachers making not that yeah but it's it's when you let me just it this way. Stop trying to pretend to live somebody else's life. If you've made the choice to have job X or job Y, or it's the only job you get, that's fantastic. And be so proud of yourself. Be grateful of the contribution you're making and live that lifestyle. Absolutely. Yeah. You've got to, it's, it points to contentment.

And again, I feel like we do have to highlight the ratios because it's it points to contentment and again i feel like we do have to highlight the ratios because it's a lot easier for him to quote it's easy to say oh it's easy for him to live on 20 he's got millions but to his point the the like we said the goalpost is always moving and it's interesting because you're always comparing yourself to what's around you like i was watching something i think it was kevin hart and he was talking about you know if you're always comparing yourself to what's around you. Like I was watching something, I think it was Kevin Hart. And he was talking about, you know, if you're on a basketball team or a football team,

you're hanging out with those guys. They're not all making the same money. That's right. Like it's a difference between if you're like first string. And if you're like, I don't know, like the sixth man or like over on the, on the sidelines.

And we're talking hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars difference in pay. So it's like, Hey, after the game, we're all going out really like you're not doing what the quarterback's doing and it's the same thing in our our own life if i go out with a bunch of folks it's easy to think hey we're all here we can all afford the same things and you can't that's right i mean how many times you go to dinner with people and it's like, hmm, well, they ordered the steak, I guess.

Well, maybe I'll order it too. And you start changing your behavior based on who you're around. You go to work, you start looking at the cars in the parking lot. Oh, well, maybe I need that too. And you start comparing yourself, but you don't know. You don't know their life. You only know your life and you're the one that's got to sleep at night. That's exactly right.

And we often don't understand that somebody's mom passed away and left them a bunch of money okay or somebody's granddad passed away and left them a house or somebody else is struggling and that's why they drive that car because they don't care about this dumb depreciating asset on wheels they're more interested in saving up college funds we just make all sorts of stories up about our people in the parking lot next to us. Yeah. Stop. Yeah. I just. Live your life.

All right, let's go to the second one. He has a part two to this. Roll it, James. But everybody's caught up in image and looking a certain way and being rich. It's me. It's pointless. You know how hard it is to live like that all the time consistently and be fly every day?

Listen, eras of rappers. Think about the era before us. Everybody was flashy, stunned, stunned. And after 10 years, what happens? They ain't flashy, they ain't stunning. No, you can't. It's impossible to sustain. It's impossible.

I love that he's talking about athletic culture, hip-hop culture, because 78% of athletes are losing their wealth within three years. And it's because of the culture. More bags, Gucci belts, you know, bottle service, you know, Maseratis, like Bentleys, like this is the culture. I'm so glad that somebody is talking about that, telling us that it's not necessary. This is not what's giving us our wealth. Rappers are not the people who tell us how we have to dress, John. Jay-Z don't tell you what car you have to drive, okay, John? He does.

He texted me the other day and told me I should get some new clothes. And so I am going, Sean. Look, if Jay-Z, if Queen B calls me, I'm coming. But I am not taking out a 401k to loan to do it, all right? We'll be right back on The Ramsey Show. I'm coming, but I am not taking out a 401k alone to do it. All right. We'll be right back on the Ramsey Show, 888-825-5255. I'm John Deloney, joined by Jade Warshaw. We're taking your calls on money and life. Let's go to Tony in Savannah.

What's up, T-Money? How we doing? Hey, how are you, sir? Thanks for taking my call. You got it, my brother. What's up? Hey, we have a military retirement and a VA retirement. And my wife and I were wondering, we have no debt other than the health. And we're wondering if the VA and the military retirement can be used towards the three to six months of emergency fund.

And we can take the rest of the funds, the stocks, the gold, the silver, that stuff, and put it towards our house to pay it off. What do you think? That's an interesting question. I'm going to dig a little bit further. So how much are you getting from the VA? I get $1,500, $1,700, $1,600 right now. Okay. And the other military one?

I think total between both of them is $6,850. That's the total between all of it? $6,850? Yeah. Okay. And is there any other income coming in? Oh, yeah. My wife works.

I work. Probably total, including that, is probably about $150,000 a year. Okay. So I would just, honestly, I would treat this just as part of your normal income and walk through the baby steps as though it's part of your normal income. So it sounds like you said you have no other debt. You're working on the three to six months of savings. Is that correct?

Well, we have that. The three months of savings would be about $24,000. Okay. And we have that. You have that. Okay. And then we're thinking about, can I stop there, use this money to just go right into the house debt and get rid of it? With the rest of the money. Well, I kind of continue to walk up. So this payout, the $6850, that's forever, correct?

Correct. And do you have any other retirement savings besides that? Life has a 401k. We have about a hundred thousand dollars in, in gold and other things. Okay. Yeah. So let's continue to walk up the baby steps again, treating all of this as though it's income, like regular income, putting 50, 15% of your household income, including this money into your 401ks, Roth IRAs, and maxing those out. And then just walking up the baby steps, um, no kids college to save for? None. Okay.

Then now we're going to the house. So once you're at 15% of that retirement contribution, then I would start, you know, doing extra towards the house. Does that make sense? Sure. And understanding that, I just want to make sure I'm clear, understanding that the 15% is on top of what I already make, the 6,800, because we're counting that as just income towards our living. I would. How big are those nest eggs? Like I said, we've got about 100,000 sitting there. 100,000. I mean, yeah, that's not going to, I mean, it's great that you have it. If you

wanted to keep that separate and just take your normal income and invest that at the 15%, I think that's fine. It doesn't make sense to take it out of an investment and reinvest it. You know what I'm saying? So I would take your normal income and do it like that. I would also sell all their single stocks, all your gold and silver. Get rid of that crap. Yeah, you don't need that. And put that cash towards your house. I wouldn't have a problem with that. That's great, John. Perfect.

How much you have in all that nonsense? Probably about $70,000. Oh, yeah. What are you, Tony, what are you doing? What are you on the house? $230,000. Oh, yeah. I like John's idea.

Let's get $70,000 liquid as soon as possible. Throw that at the house and bump up your retirement to 15% out of your take-home pay. Man, you're going to be home free in a minute with this house. That's exciting. Right. Okay, can I ask you a personal question? But I'm not putting you on blast on the radio. I just really want to know. Why gold

and silver? You're in the military. You have either seen it with your own eyes or worked with people who have seen it. What happens when it goes down? What about gold and silver makes you feel warm inside? It wasn't warm inside. It was more of a safety valve.

We were a little bit worried about the stocks dropping so far that we just rolled it. Just so that you had something other than 401ks. So you're saying if there was a major stock market drop, you just liked knowing that you had something else there. Yeah. I mean, that sounds correct. There's a lot of people that feel that way. I get the sentiment.

My promise to you is it won't save you if that actually happens. I had a buddy of mine. He's a, he's a banking guru. And I've told the story a few times that we were, I was, dude, I was hammering him.

I had a whole list of things like what happens when the market does this and the U S dollar is going to collapse. I was going after him. I was like this and then this and then this. And he said something that I'll remember for the rest of my life. He said, he realized what I was asking. And what I was asking was make me feel not anxious, not answer all my math problems. And he finally said, Hey dude,

I don't have a meteorite plan. And I said, what do you mean? And he said, dude, I'm putting money into retirement. I paid my house off and this is a banker. It has nothing to do with Dave Ramsey. He's like, I'm paying, I'm taking all of the variables off the table that I can take off, which is I don't owe anybody anything. I've got retirement. And if the entire Wall Street collapses, and here's this quote, your neighbor's going to try to shoot you for your water and your gold and silver won't save you.

And the way he described, I was like, oh, yeah, I'm planning for an imaginary apocalypse. And so it was this, I was in a weird way, I was planning for an imaginary apocalypse. And so it was this, I was in a weird way, I was free after that. I get the, I want to have an exit strategy. I want to do all these things.

What happens is people tie up $70,000 while every month you're making a payment to make a mortgage company rich. And I'd rather you take care of those variables or take them off the table so that if something collapses and no one can come take your house from you no one can come take your fill in the blank your cars from you because you don't owe anybody anything on them um which is a different proposition than hey guys i got silver bars you want to trade like man that's that's not

going to get you very far when somebody wants your water right um but thank you so much for the call tony um by the end of today what you're you're going to be $160,000 on that mortgage. That'll be awesome. Yeah. No, like $130,000. He's going to be closer than that. Didn't he say it was $200,000? I thought he said it was $250,000, but either way, he's making his move, man.

That's awesome. Yeah, my guy's about to be debt-free, home included. That's exciting. Good deal, Tony. All right, let's go to William in Chicago. What's up, William? Hey, John. Thanks for taking my call. Can you hear me well? Absolutely, my brother. What's up, William? Hey, Don. Thanks for taking my call. Can you hear me well? Absolutely, my brother.

What's up? Hey, man. Super excited. Again, thank you. Really, I purchased a car last year and I love the car. I want to keep it, but this was

before me reading Rachel's book and getting into Dave. So now I'm kind of wondering at what point is it worth to keep it? I mean, I think I can, I think if things go well, just like it did last year, I think I can get paid off within 12 months, but it is really a toy car. How much does it work? So it's worth about 80. I dropped about 40 for a down payment. So what's the monthly payment on it?

It's 700, but right now I'm paying a thousand a month. And then, um, I, I, I mean, I have the money, I have, I have money in, in savings that I can pay it off completely, but that would kind of leave me with just a little bit of, how much you make what's your salary um so we do sales right so i mean i've averaged over 100 uh last year me and the wife brought in uh it's about 250 how many cars do you have uh i got the wife has her own car i got my car um it's both about clearly new i would say so between the three cars what are they all worth combined um all combined they're probably they're worth about a hundred okay so the way we teach is we wouldn't want you to have more than half of your annual income tied up in cars. My thing is, if you've got the money to pay this off, if this is your only debt, you've got the money to pay it off, why not just pay it off and be free of it?

If you're going to pay it off in 12 months, I'm fine with that. It sounds like it's not killing you. You're just like, should I, should I not? If you can pay it off, pay it off. If you know, baby step to it. If you don't want to do that, pay it off in a year, get rid of it. And just remember that rule of thumb, no more than 50% of things going down in value should be more than 50% of your take home pay annually. This is The Ramsey Show. 888-825-5225 Listen, this is a super exciting day. 888-825-5225 888-825-5225 Listen, this is a super exciting day. I get to announce something I'm jazzed about.

Our Money in Marriage event is back, but it's going to be wilder than ever before. Today I get to announce the Money in Marriage getaway. Join Rachel Cruz and me and several others right here in Nashville for a weekend-long getaway in October that will have you and your spouse feeling more aligned and connected than ever before. The Money Marriage Getaway is designed for you and your spouse to disconnect from everyday life and the anxiety and the stress and the worry and all that mayhem and focus on your marriage.

I'm hearing all over the country marriages are hanging on by a thread. This is for you. Listen, it's Valentine's and right now you're overflowing with love for your spouse. Oh, gross. And thinking about the romantic night that you two have planned or some of you were like, oh crap, it's Valentine's day. That kind of connection with your spouse shouldn't happen just once or twice a year for some manufactured holiday. As part of the getaway, you're going to get a fun date night experience,

time set aside to reflect and grow together, and plenty of encouragement and ideas from me and Rachel Cruz that will help the two of you stay on the same page about your money, your marriage, sex and intimacy, all of it. We're going there and it's going to be fantastic plus we're super excited to meet you in Nashville

in person, here's the thing it's expensive, it's an intimate three day event, the ticket prices start at $699, $699 that's good, I know, I was going to say it's expensive but it's actually not, no that's three nights come on John so if you're in Baby Step 2, this event

isn't for you this year. Head to RamseySolutions.com slash events to get more info and save your spot. It's going to sell out and it's going to sell out quick. Nashville's a fun place to be

and we're going to have all kinds of fun things planned for you over the course of a weekend and we are really looking forward to it. Go to RamseySolutions.com slash events

to get more info and save your spot. Some of you are going to stop by the grocery store on the way home to pick up some flowers. Don't. Buy your wife a weekend getaway marriage retreat in Nashville. Okay. Phew. I was like, what are you saying, John? That's a good move. So last night, listen, Jade, last night I'm walking into my house and I was sitting in the car. I got home and I was putting my stuff away and I was scrolling. One last time, I was going to check my email,

check my Instagram before I went in. One last scroll. My wife had, I know, the thing's one last scroll, but my wife had sent me a DM, it was a poem from Mary Oliver. And it was a long poem, but it just started with,

I don't want your flowers. And it was like, I want this, I want poem but it just started with i don't want your flowers and it was like i want this i want this one i don't want your flowers and i walked in the front door and i'm reading this thing carrying a bouquet of flowers and i just handed it to my wife i was like sorry i just got your message and she started laughing it was fun that is funny i like flowers my husband gets me look i came home there was flowers see and and and I said to Sam I was like I've never gotten a box of chocolates for Valentine's Day I always saw it on TV I always got like I don't know teddy bears or a nice dinner I just wanted a box of I wanted like the just like the sappy just this is what Valentineentine's day i was like i want roses and

i want a box of chocolates and he got you that's what i got he got him all the way from oregon box of chocolates that guy knows what's delicious there you go man um i'm getting my wife a uh a one-person ticket to the money marriage event she can just sit in the audience and listen to her husband lecture other people on how they should be married that she'll love that oh gosh all right let's go to jennifer in los angeles what is uh jennifer hi thanks for taking my call oh what's up thanks for calling what's happening uh so i always have a question my husband and i always wonder how much should we be budgeting for fun money every month is there like a ratio or percentage did my wife tell you to call no it sounds like we should connect problem no you should I should keep y'all two apart

I don't what's what's the rule of thumb here well let me guess Jennifer you're the spender in the relationship we are both really frugal actually that's why this question's coming from you know I don't really play this by ratio per se or like percentage I kind of take it a case-by-case basis and look at what's going on are you guys in debt like tell me a little bit more about your financials if you will? So we, our only debt is our mortgage. We own about $500,000 on our house. Okay. It's worth about $1.2, $1.3. And no, we both work. I am an assistant to a financial advisor and my husband is a pharmacist. We have a one-year-old daughter. Good deal. So when you're doing your budget and you've got margin left over, right now, what are you doing with that money? You're putting some in savings.

You're investing. Like, are you on baby step four at this point, investing the 15%? Wait, 15% into retirement? Uh-huh. Yeah. So we each have 15% going to our 401k. Sweet. Um, and after that we have a few thousand dollars every month, but we don't really pay off the house with it. We kind of just put it into a joint account and I invest it every once in a while.

So here's the thing when it comes to the first couple of baby steps, those are all about being super intense, right? It's like, we're not going to restaurants. We're not going out to eat. We're not going on trips. It's like that. But once you get to the final baby steps, four, five, and six,

it's more about being intentional. I do think that you should be putting money towards paying off your house. But I also think y'all need to have fun. You guys have worked hard. Everything's going well. You do need to budget for fun. I'm not going to tell you, and that must be $300. I'm not going toall need to have fun. You guys have worked hard. Everything's going well. You do need to budget for fun. I'm not going to tell you, and that must be $300.

I'm not going to make that choice for you. But I do think that it's important that you have a little bit of money that you do things with and that your husband has a little bit of money that he does things with and that you both have things that you do together. And you can call it fun money. You can call it, you know, Jennifer's money. What's your husband's name? John. John can have his line item. John's hundred dollars. Jennifer's hundred dollars. And, you know, I think that if you plan for it, you will feel better about

spending it. I have found that with frugal people, it's like, I'm just like, can I honestly go to Target and spend like, I don't know, $200. If it's on the budget and you're following the plan, you're handling business. Yes. The answer is yes. You can, there's three things you can do with money. You can give it, you can save it and you can spend it. And a lot of times when we're very frugal, we come on, John, talk about spending. Cause I know that you got the tight purse strings. I spend too much, actually. Here's what's helped us in our house, Jennifer, is instead of having a fun money line, I will say I would like to buy another guitar. It's an actual purchase that we head toward.

My wife will actually ask me, I'm assuming you're going to go hang out with some friends this month because you're you need to stop being so lonely and you need to go out and have some friends how many times are you going to go out um and how much do you mean how much do you want me to put in that line so sometimes fun money for planners is too amorphous but put it towards a thing when y'all sit down and do your budget every month and you look at your calendar and match schedules hey you're going to go out with some of the people from the pharmacy once a week. How much do you want me to put in that line? And that's different than fun money because fun money at the end of the month is easy to, if you're super frugal, it's easy just to put

into a retirement account and you're going to wake up and be 65 and realize you haven't lived your life yet. And so plan for some of these things. I'm going to buy a book once a month. I'm going to go have lunch with my girlfriends once a month. Like whatever the thing is, make it about specific items instead of just this slush fund. And for me, I like having a slush fund. It makes me feel happy inside. I do too. I like that on the budget, it says Jade's,

and it does say fun money. It says Jade's fun money. And I could take that money out in cash. I don't have to answer nobody's questions about it, John. I come back with things and Sam is like, hey, what's that? I'm like, it's my fun money. It's okay.

It's my fun money. John, what's the next guitar on your list to buy? Dude, I'm struggling, man. I really want a Flying V Bad, but I also want another one. I want another one, Ben. Don't judge. And I also really, really want a Gibson Firebird

and one of Sam's Paul Rees-Smiths. I just love that Sam is out there shaking his head at the Flying V and shaking his head yes at the PRS. There's only a few people who can hang with the Flying Vs, man. One day. One day, James. Hey, that's first

hour in the books here on the Ramsey Show. Take care of one another, take care of your money, and we'll see you soon, next hour. hey it's dr john deloney if you love the show and want a deeper dive on your money journey, we have a weekly newsletter that gives you trending and helpful articles and tips on following the Ramsey way. Just go to RamseySolutions.com today to sign up for our newsletter. Again, that's RamseySolutions.com to sign up for our weekly newsletter.