The Ramsey Show - App - Treat the Budget Like a Signed Contract (Hour 3)

Episode Date: May 21, 2019

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Starting point is 00:00:00 🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions Broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Chris is with us in Atlanta, Georgia.
Starting point is 00:01:00 Hi, Chris. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. How are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up? Yeah, I just had a question. My wife and I are out of debt and have always invested every month in mutual funds, similar to what you talk about. And I'd like to get into real estate and just want to know better how to get comfortable, right? I understand mutual funds. I'm comfortable with them, you know, putting $150,000 or $200,000 down
Starting point is 00:01:28 and, you know, one buy for a house just seems a little overwhelming to me. Well, it is. It's a lot of money, and especially if it's a large percentage of your world, you know? I mean, if it's a high percentage of your net worth going into that, that is nerve-wracking, which makes you, you know, which makes you just slow down and be very, very wise about it. And so typically, I mean, there's two kinds of fear. There's the kind of fear that says, I'm scared of driving a car because I've never driven
Starting point is 00:01:58 one before or riding a bike because I've never ridden one before. And that's a kind of fear that says, oh, the more knowledge I have, the less fear I'm going to have. The other kind of fear is don't touch a hot stove or walk out in front of a bus, which keeps you alive. You're not going to get over that kind of fear because you shouldn't. It's keeping you from harm but not understanding a mutual fund so you don't put money into it is um is a knowledge based or lack of knowledge based fear and the same thing with you with the real estate um so the way to overcome it is just spend time studying and spend time looking at deals and don't be in a hurry and don't let anybody pressure you and
Starting point is 00:02:44 don't let anybody roll their eyes that you don't know what you hurry and don't let anybody pressure you and don't let anybody roll their eyes that you don't know what you're doing you're the guy standing there with the freaking money uh so you just take your time the money and real estate investing when you get ready to buy a house as your first rental at real estate investment money and real estate is made primarily at the buy okay so you want to work with an agent to teach you how to do that or just that'd be fine but i wouldn't rely exclusively on them it's a matter of um you know it won't hurt my feelings it might hurt the agent's feelings they might not want to screw with you but it wouldn't hurt my feelings if you walked through 50 houses before you bought one. But if you did that and...
Starting point is 00:03:30 Just make sure you get a good deal. What area of Atlanta are you in? We're kind of in the north suburbs. Like what, Alpharetta? Yeah, kind of the Alpharetta-Roswell area. Yeah, okay. All right, cool. So, I mean, if you looked at 50 houses over the next three years, that's an exaggeration.
Starting point is 00:03:49 But versus what you know today, if you looked at the numbers, looked at the comparable sales, looked at the price per square foot, looked at what they're renting for, looked at what types of rentals people are looking for, one-bedroom, two-bedroom, three-bedroom, five-bedroom in your area. You know, you look at all these different things, then you, in a sense, are making a non-purchase decision on a whole bunch of properties. But you get very, very familiar with the numbers. And they just start to leak out of your eyes and your ears at that point. Versus right now, you know, part of the fear comes,
Starting point is 00:04:26 you just don't know the numbers. But if you can walk up to a house and go, you know, houses in this area going for $235 a foot, this idiot's asking $400, I'm wasting my time. But you've looked at 40 of them, and you know that. You don't even have to look it up on the computer. I mean, you don't have to have them pull comps. You don't have to do anything.
Starting point is 00:04:42 Because you've internalized the information by doing due diligence. And so what you've got to do is look at a bunch of different things. Now, I'm saying 50, and I'm saying two years. It doesn't take that many, but I'm saying all of that to make my point that the more knowledge you have of that house over there. I've looked at six just like it. They all rented for $1,200, and the only way this deal works is if it rents for $1,400, so this deal doesn't work. And you can just say that in your head because you have the base knowledge from having kicked
Starting point is 00:05:18 the tires a bunch. Does that make sense? Yeah, that does make sense. And is there a certain percentage, or that's something you just learn like a percentage of price value that you want to build a rent for um i try to buy a house on residential and i try to buy all our property this way it's very difficult in a market that's this hot i'll go ahead and tell you up front and i haven't bought a property in a while because we're building a large uh a large office building building, and that concrete hole is taking all my money. But when we were buying property, the last time we bought property, which was a few years back, our formula is we try to buy it for 70%
Starting point is 00:05:56 of what we think the actual retail value is, which also means you're going to make a lot of people mad with low offers, and it's like a specialty of mine. I'm not trying to make you mad. I've got money, but I could close by Friday. But if you can buy a $200,000 house for $140,000, you can make this work. You can make it work every time. Okay, no, that makes sense when you have cash on hand,
Starting point is 00:06:20 and we're not in a rush because we're not trying to move into the house. Exactly, and I don't care if it needs i mean if it's got heavy repairs i might deduct repairs from that as well but if it's just if i got around a coat of paint through it some carpet and tear the bushes out that's okay i mean it's been five or ten grand on it whatever but if you got 150 when everything's done in a property that's worth 200 uh most000. Most properties, I mean, you just poke around. It changes from market to market. But you're generally going to find about 1% a month of value. So a $200,000 house typically around $2,000 a month in rent.
Starting point is 00:06:54 And that's a rough and dirty, and that will change from market to market. So you need to learn that for your market. Sometimes they'll run at a factor higher than that. But if you pay cash, $150,000 for something, and you can roll $24,000 off in top line minus expenses to get to your net profit on that property on cash returns in a year, you will make good money. You'd be at an 8% to a 10% rate of return on your money before we got to appreciation, which also adds to the fact that $150,000 house is now worth $200,000. You've already made $50,000 before we started. And so the appreciation starts to kick into your overall rate of return.
Starting point is 00:07:36 But I look at a cash-on-cash rate of return after monthly expenses, after annual expenses. I want to be in that eight to ten range and that under 80 percent of value 70 is what i aim for on a residential property a single family will typically get me there is that is that logical yeah that makes sense i think it's just about the knowledge like you said to get comfortable yeah it's just like okay you know I've driven six different kinds of sports cars that cost around $50,000. And I know that the Lexus has this. I know that the Beamer has that. And you can start to make a comparison.
Starting point is 00:08:14 But until you went and got in them and drove them and looked at the horsepower and the chassis, the suspensions, the technology available on them. Until you've done some shopping, you don't know if you're getting a good deal on the one you're looking at. And comparison and knowledge of the marketplace is what gives you that. And I do that in anything I'm buying. I just become an expert on it, and I wear people out for a while until I get my knowledge base up. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. This is big news, guys. You need to stop and listen. The Fed decided not to raise interest rates. That means you've got a small window of time before rates rise again. Here's the deal. Most people are paying too much interest on their largest expense, their home.
Starting point is 00:09:13 So you're freaking crazy if you don't take 10 minutes to call Churchill Mortgage right now and see if they can save you money before rates rise again. A mortgage through Churchill could save you thousands, or better yet, reduce the time until you're debt-free. Can you imagine how it would feel to no longer have that payment looming over your head every month? Just go to ChurchillMortgage.com or call 888-LOAN-200. Their team of experts will give you more clarity about your options and more peace knowing you're saving significant money in the long run. Call 888-LOAN-200. That's 888-562-6200 or churchillmortgage.com. Louise is in Philadelphia.
Starting point is 00:10:10 Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show, Louise. Hi, Dave. How are you today? Better than I deserve. What's up? Me too. Well, I'm 67, and I'm a schoolteacher here in the Philadelphia suburbs, and I'm planning on retiring.
Starting point is 00:10:24 And this Thursday, I'm meeting with the retirement people to make a decision whether to withdraw my input into my pension. So each paycheck, they've been taken out about seven and a half percent and investing it in the pension fund. So I have this one-time decision to make should i withdraw it and lower my monthly premium but then i'd have that money to invest on my own okay you would you would withdraw it and yeah and i'll walk more importantly than what i think let me tell you why and then you'll understand okay okay it's basically a lump sum distribution of your pension and by doing this you won't will not get a pension is that correct i will get a less of a pension okay by about thirteen hundred dollars a month okay and do you know the lump sum
Starting point is 00:11:11 yet yes two hundred and seven thousand dollars okay so thirteen hundred is um i figured it would need to make about six and a half percent interest each year to be equal to what I'm losing. So you're a good math teacher. Very well done. I teach writing, but let me give you a real quick history thing. In 2001, we had a financial planner that took all our liquid assets and invested them in tech, and we went busted. And at the same time, my husband got laid off so our tax accountant is saying no no no don't take the one time withdrawal out because you won't sleep at night but yet i think there's probably ways to invest the money i take out that i won't lose my shirt. Right. But we do have that little history lesson that we got burnt once really bad.
Starting point is 00:12:07 Yeah. I was in a car wreck one time, too, but I didn't quit driving. I know. I know. And I think that's why I'm calling you. Let's walk through the numbers, okay? Okay. The $200,000, if you leave it in there, is going to pay you.
Starting point is 00:12:22 You accurately figured it out six and a half percent rate of return all pensions are set up to grow and to pay out at between six and seven percent it's regulation they're required to do it that way okay and so um and when you die your pension is worth to your estate zero unless you have a survivorship for your spouse. And when they die, it's still worth zero. So at some point, that $200,000 turns into zero. Yes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:12:55 So problem number one, if you roll it to an IRA and you die, your estate has $200,000. Yes. Okay. So that's advantage number one is when you die, you're better off has $200,000. Yes. Okay, so that's advantage number one, is when you die, you're better off by $200,000. You're not. They are. Right. I'm okay with that. That means that I didn't need all my money, which is a good thing.
Starting point is 00:13:16 Yeah. The second thing is, then if I invest it and make a greater rate of return than six and a half on average, I have come out ahead while i'm alive i like that and so uh the standard and poor 500 is the 500 largest stocks as measured by the company standard and poor which is used as the bellwether as used as the average of what the stock market the new york stock exchange has done It has averaged between 11% and 12% since the New York Stock Exchange was formed. Wow. I did not know that. And so if you go back in history, and if you go back 10 years or 20 years,
Starting point is 00:13:58 and so if you were to pick a mutual fund that at least did what, or a series of mutual funds with some help that at least had averaged and did average in the future um equal to or greater to the average of the market you would have beaten the pension by double wow right well i mean you had to get to 13 to double it but you see what i'm saying 11 over six.5. And so if you did poorly, you got 8. And the market did 11. Because you really didn't, you know, you screwed up your picks. You didn't know what you were doing.
Starting point is 00:14:35 You did a horrible, the guy you're working with didn't know what he was doing. You still are going to beat 6.5. My mutual funds, and I didn't pick them by myself i picked them with one of our smart investor pros my mutual funds have averaged closer to 14 so even though we're at the age we are it's still okay to take a risk yeah i'm 58 that's how i'm invested because here's the thing you're not going to touch the money. You're only wanting the income off of the money. Correct.
Starting point is 00:15:09 And so if the 200,000 went down because the stock market went down, as long as it comes back up someday, you're going to be okay because you don't really jump off a roller. The only time you get hurt on a roller coaster is if you jump off. And so when you're 60 years old you have a unless you're ill you have a very high statistical likelihood of making it to 90 right my mother was 92 average death age in america is 76 but that includes infant mortality and teenage death so once you're statistically once you're 60 you have 30 years You've still got to live.
Starting point is 00:15:52 So picking mutual funds with the help of someone is better than doing like a structured annuity. Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay. And the help of someone is known as a teacher, like you are, the heart of a teacher. You will know they have the heart of it. Sales are, people in the investment world, 85% of them are are sales people and when you meet with them you'll feel sold don't work with them the other 15 have the heart of a teacher and when you meet with them you will feel better than when you walked in because the fear of the unknown will go away as you have this wonderful thing called knowledge. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:26 So what I would do is sit down, click DaveRamsey.com. I'm not in the investment business, but we have a series of people that we endorse, and you can click on SmartVestor at DaveRamsey.com. It will drop down a list of the people in your area that we recommend. In order for me to recommend them, we vet them. One of the things we vet them for is do they have the heart of a teacher. Okay. And so when you sit down with them,
Starting point is 00:16:51 you should have an experience like you've had in the last few minutes. Thank you. That's great. That's what we're looking for. And by the way, even though we had those hardships, we're debt-free. Good for you. And I just wish that I was listening to your newer view back in 2001. That would have made a huge difference.
Starting point is 00:17:09 Yeah, well, you just would have done something a little bit different. But it's okay. It's okay. Hey, we all do stuff that we wish we hadn't done. It's called being human. You're going to be all right. Because here's the thing. You're only 58, right?
Starting point is 00:17:23 No, no, no. I'm 67. Oh, 67. Okay. I don't know where i got 58 i don't know i'm 58 but thank you i thought maybe i sound 50 there you go you do you're so you know but if you invest um 200 just the 200 000 and i'm sure you've got other monies and you've got the pension in addition to the 200 that they won't let you get to. You know, you just invest that. You know, when you're 74, that's going to be worth 400 if you don't use any of the money off of it. Now, if you need the monthly income off of it, it won't grow to that level.
Starting point is 00:17:55 But it'll double about every seven years, roughly, the lump sums will. And so, you know, you're going to be in really, really good shape because I'll bet you guys can live off of your other incomes and not have to touch this money. So it's called a direct transfer rollover from your pension lump sum distribution to an IRA. And I invest in four types of mutual funds, growth, growth and income, aggressive growth and international. Sometimes when folks are in their late 60s and beyond, they don't want to do the aggressive of growth, and international. Sometimes when folks are in their late 60s and beyond, they don't want to do the aggressive of those four,
Starting point is 00:18:28 and they'll do a growth and income, or they'll do a balanced in there. So it would be balanced, growth and income, international, and growth would be the four categories if you did that. That's a more conservative portfolio. You can still find that group of mutual funds that, as a group, outperformed the S&P and certainly outperformed 6.5. So you have more money when you're alive and more money when you're dead with that answer. And that's how this works.
Starting point is 00:18:56 That's why we do this. So good question and very well done. And thank you for teaching all those years. That's wonderful. What a wonderful career you've had. Very cool stuff smart fester at Dave Ramsey calm it drops down a list of the people in your area we recommend you choose what you want to choose or among them you decide and get comfortable with somebody learn
Starting point is 00:19:18 learn learn learn this is the Dave Ramsey Show. I'm going to go ahead and get started. Andrea is with us in Spokane, Washington. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show, Andrea. Thanks for having me. Sure, what's up? So I just started this budgeting financial journey this year. I got $700 saved. We'll have the next, the whole thousand here in the next paycheck. My question is, right now I am an RN.
Starting point is 00:20:35 I have an associate's degree. For me to further my career at all, to go into management, to go into case management, I need at least a bachelor's, so that means going back to school. I obviously don't have any money saved for that, so is it worth it to incur some debt, which will result in a bigger income in the long run? Well, that assumes that the only way you get to go to school is to go into debt, and I don't accept your assumption well i am hoping to have at least scholarships pay for half of it okay that's good so what will
Starting point is 00:21:12 it cost if i go through my works joint school they have providence university about 18 000 good without any scholarships i'm hoping that i I don't have to pay more than maybe $6,000 to $10,000. So you only need $9,000? You only need $9,000? Only. Are you married? Are you married or single? I am not.
Starting point is 00:21:34 I am a single parent. Okay, cool. And what do you make as an RN? About $65,000 a year. Okay. Do you have children? I have two. At what age?
Starting point is 00:21:46 Eight and four. Okay. Do you have children? I have two. At what age? Eight and four. Okay. Good. And family in the immediate area or not? Yeah. My mom and sister are local. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 00:21:55 Cool. Good. Because you're going to need a support mechanism, because the great news is you're an RN. And what that means anywhere in the United States is that you can get all the hours that you physically and your family can endure correct and always can get overtime yeah yeah you can do all you want to do and so you have the best part-time job in the world it's called overtime and it's going to pay you more than any other part-time gig as a temporary measure to pay for you to go to school you need an extra nine thousand dollars
Starting point is 00:22:30 in overtime how long will that take you a year it'll be well i have to have more child care funds to pay for if i'm going to watch my kids that's why i ask about family that's why i ask about family in the area and other support and so forth. So, I mean, maybe you need $12,000. I don't know, but you can do that in a year. It's $1,000 a month in overtime. It's not a pleasant year, but, you know, you're presenting. The problem is that somehow you got in your head that student loans are pleasant.
Starting point is 00:23:03 They're not pleasant. They're not pleasant they're not pleasant it's you know it's easy it's easier today to go i'll go get a student loan go to school and i'll pay it back later because you don't have to face what i just put in front of you uh but here's the problem not everybody finishes school things happen kid gets sick and you have to quit and drop out and take care of kid mama gets sick and you end up having to and drop out and take care of the kid. Mama gets sick, and you end up having to spend too much time on that, and it throws your schedule off. And those student loans just keep on coming.
Starting point is 00:23:37 They're chronic, to use a phrase that you would understand. I have student loans, but I work for a nonprofit, so I am enrolled in the public student loan forgiveness. Yeah, which takes 10 years? 10 years. So how much student loans? I have like $60,000 in student loans. Okay. So I would like to...
Starting point is 00:23:54 So right now I'm only paying $99 a month. Listen, I think you've got a career choice that you've made that is excellent in terms of rate of return, in terms of what you'll make for what you spend. I would definitely do the eighteen thousand dollar spend i just wouldn't borrow the money to do it i'm gonna you're gonna have the pain so let's get the pain done on the front end i'm doing preventive medicine here instead of trying to heal the disease after the patient wouldn't quit whatever it was that caused it, which is what you, you know, you've got student loan cancer.
Starting point is 00:24:32 And I'm saying stop smoking. Does that make sense? Yes. So, I mean, you can do this. Actually, I didn't want to go back to school until my youngest was in kindergarten. So that's about a year and a half away. So that would actually kind of work out perfectly yeah that's very good well and the problem is going back to school is also going to take time away from your family so you've got time away from your family in your future away from your kiddos going to school and working
Starting point is 00:24:58 overtime to pay for it i mean but you're a hero you're a single mom raising two kids that by definition makes you a hero you've chosen a great career field so you're a hero. You're a single mom raising two kids. That, by definition, makes you a hero. You've chosen a great career field, so you're not one of the 52% of the single moms that are below the poverty level. You are kicking it. You are doing very well. I know it doesn't feel like it. I know it feels like things are really tight around there, and so you're trying to beef this thing up and get it going, put some gas in this car. And I think that's awesome, and I would do everything you're talking about doing.
Starting point is 00:25:28 I'm not saying don't do it. I'm just changing how you do it. That's all. because i don't want this stuff to be a curse for you i want to be a blessing because when you get home with that beat with that bachelors and you get kicked up into management and you get kicked up where you can get your income up to about 80 or 90 we could knock that 60 000 out that's laying there like a cancer quick. And while you're back in school, it goes back into stasis again. It goes back and sits there and waits on you to get out of school. So, hey, you're a rock star. I'll help you any way I can. You let me
Starting point is 00:25:58 know. Call anytime I can help. I really admire who you are. I admire what you're doing. I'm just begging you. Don't take what appears to be the easy way that in the end will be the hard way. Dustin is in Casper, Wyoming. Hi, Dustin, how are you? Hey, Dave. Better than I deserve.
Starting point is 00:26:16 Good. How can I help? Hey, I'm getting married in August, and I'm going to have to end up moving in with my wife, I guess. And I'm going to sell my house. Generally happens. Right? So I guess my question is, when I sell my house, I'll have enough money to pay her house off, but we're going to end up buying a different house.
Starting point is 00:26:42 So should I just keep that money in a bank account until we find a house and sell her house as well, or pay her house off and then move forward from there? How quick are you going to buy the new house after marriage? Hopefully within six months. Okay. You have bank accounts, fine. It doesn't matter. Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:02 If you want to pay her house off, it becomes your house when you get married. And the one you own, your money becomes her money when you get married. That's how marriage works if you're smart. if you want to pay it off, when you sell her house, they'll hand you a check. It's not like you're losing the money. It's just going to come back to you.
Starting point is 00:27:21 It's stuck in the equity in her house. But it might give you some flexibility if it was laying there in cash in a bank account on the purchase of the next one. And I don't want you to end up with two house payments, so we've got to have her sold for you by anyway, right? Yeah, maybe. It depends on
Starting point is 00:27:39 how big a house the second one is. Yeah, agreed. So I'll have around $300,000 in cash. Okay. Are you going to buy over 300 uh maybe okay all right that's not we haven't really decided on the house yet it's still a couple months i mean you you've probably been looking at neighborhoods and talking about there's no rush you're not doing any of this until there's a ring on the finger, period. But once August gets here, then all of your stuff, my stuff, becomes our stuff. We change our pronouns from yours and mine to we and our.
Starting point is 00:28:16 You become French, we, we, at that point. And everything's ours. And so we're just putting it in a pile and figuring out how this new family is going to win the best going forward. But I like your plan of paying cash for the new property that the two of you will have sold both of your old properties to be able to own your new house free and clear. And that's where it'll end up when the smoke clears. And that's where you need to be aiming. So, yeah, if you want to leave it in a bank account, that's fine. There's no harm in that.
Starting point is 00:28:49 But you just don't want to get yourself in a pinch with a bunch of house payments, and hers doesn't sell quickly, and then you get motivated to sell hers too cheaply because you move too fast and stretch yourself too thin. But based on the numbers you're giving me, I think you guys are pretty conservative folks. So I think you're going to be okay. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. Our scripture of the day, Job 5.17, Blessed is the one whom God corrects, so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. David Rockefeller said, Success in business requires training, discipline, and hard work. But if you're not frightened by these things, the opportunities are just as great today as they ever were.
Starting point is 00:30:21 Very true. Well, you probably heard that we have a pretty big giveaway going on this month the ramsey fuel your summer giveaway but only so many folks can win the good news is even if you don't win a prize you can still win with money in other ways you can save on insurance that's an easy way to do that best way to make sure you're not paying too much for your car and homeowner's insurance you could be living leaving a lot of money on the table and that's why we only recommend independent insurance agents insurance agents that don't work for just one company they shop a bunch of different companies because they work for you yeah that that's a different way of thinking about this. And so just because they have a cute character on the television or a football player on the television doesn't mean they work in your
Starting point is 00:31:13 best interest. You want to shop around and get you the best deal. People save $700, $800, $1,200 by shopping and getting the best possible deal. So just click insurance at DaveRamsey.com slash ELP, and you can find an insurance broker, an independent agent, that will shop and get you the best deal. It's free to get a quote. You might be blown away. Ashley is in Detroit, Michigan. Hi, Ashley.
Starting point is 00:31:43 How are you? Hi, Dave. Good. How are you? Hi, Dave. Good. How are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up? Well, I'm just calling because I'm having a little bit of trouble getting my husband to stick to the budget that we have agreed on.
Starting point is 00:32:00 So I just kind of wanted to get your opinion on what I should do next. How long have you all been married? We have been married. We will be married 16 years, 17 years in December. How old is he? He is 40. What does he do for a living? He's a superintendent for a construction company.
Starting point is 00:32:20 They do all automotive plants. And actually, he just was transferred out of town to work on a job that they just got. And if all of the projects that he was working on, if he didn't stick to the budget that he had agreed to as part of the estimate, they would fire his butt. Exactly. And so why is it he can't stay with the budget he agreed to with his wife? Well, you know, I don't know if it's because he's out of town, he's bored out of his mind when he's not at work, he's staying in a hotel, so he doesn't have, you know, a lot of storage space for, you know, to buy groceries.
Starting point is 00:33:04 And so, you know, here at home we're doing the beans and rice, and he's, you know, going out to eat several times a week and so i'm just i'm trying to give him ideas like peanut butter and jelly doesn't take up a lot of room in the refrigerator um you know and i don't know if he's just so either one of two things is going on either he has not really agreed to do this thing right um or you guys have set an unrealistic number for him okay i don't know which it is is he being unreasonable an immature little boy whining or have you clamped him down too hard because you're a super nerd um it might be a little bit of both might be um you know i think i I'm really, really excited about this, you know,
Starting point is 00:33:47 and I know he says verbally that he is and that he's on board and, you know, is really excited about what we're talking about. But his actions aren't saying it. So here's what I'm going to do. Exactly. This guy is the kind of guy who believes in keeping his word. He would be highly offended if someone lied to him he's an he's a person of honor isn't he he is yeah i can i mean i've worked with a lot of guys
Starting point is 00:34:15 just like him and i am that kind of guy i come out of that same heritage and so i would just call him out on that and say okay we've got to set a number here that we can both agree to stick to because you're a man of honor and you've been breaking your word and that's just not like you and that's not okay okay call him out on that that this is a contract when we agree to this number we're going to pinky swear and spit shake and I'm going to break your knuckles if you break the contract. Okay. He needs to hear that he gave his word. He's kind of playing your little financial thing while he's out of town working,
Starting point is 00:34:54 and he can't do that anymore. It's got to be more serious than that. It's got to be a contract where he signs it in blood. Okay. Because if he gets that in his emotions, he will never break his word. He's not that guy. Right. And that's how you're viewing it, because for you it was a contract.
Starting point is 00:35:11 Exactly. But he's just not a person that breaks his word. That's not who he is. I'm not hearing that. This is not a little boy who's immature and incapable. This guy's a man. He's a good man. Yes. and uncapable this guy's a man he's a good man yeah yeah he you just guys have not you guys have
Starting point is 00:35:26 not looked at this commitment at the same level and so you've got up you got to ramp up your language on how we look at this contract pinky swear spit shake in blood if you do this i'm if you break your word again me and you're gonna have a problem and he's gonna laugh and go yeah okay i get it that's who this guy is okay because he didn't he didn't he didn't hear contract he heard uh suggestion yes okay you're you're right i think so i'll just be a little more stern with well and it's just it's not it's not you being his mom, Stern. It's clarifying language, so you're tapping into his honor and the integrity of the man that is there instead of like, oh, this is cute. It's her little thing she's working on. Okay.
Starting point is 00:36:18 Because I can do that. If Sharon goes, look, we said we're going to be there at 630. You know what? We're there at 625 because the trains run on time. Right. You know, but if it's like, well, they said come somewhere between 630 and 7, we'll roll in there somewhere between 630 and 7. Okay.
Starting point is 00:36:36 But if it was 630, then that would be a screwed up deal, you know? So we've got to have real clarity on what's going on. And then we we do that. So, hey, good question. Thank you for joining us. It's a good clarification because I tell you what, man, the number one thing couples fight about, even good people, even good marriages. And that lady, you could tell by the language and the tone and the way she was discussing him that she wasn't dealing with an immature little boy in a man's body. And sometimes wives are dealing with that, a little wuss, you know, a little boy. And God help you women if you marry a little boy.
Starting point is 00:37:15 And God help you men if you marry a princess. Because it's just, you know, you need to marry like full-grown people where their emotions are full-grown too. It changes everything it's a different thing and so she wasn't using any of that language she was using very clear language and you could tell and the reason i asked about his age how long they've been married what he does for a living he gives me indicators of every bit of that and uh this guy's running a large project management situation for a construction firm out of town. He's used to doing numbers. He's used to hitting schedules.
Starting point is 00:37:46 He's used to doing things on time. He's used to doing things right. And when he doesn't, there are consequences. It's very easy to transfer that set of skills and that view of life into simply doing a household budget together. And so that's where, you know, you can listen to these things. You can hear them in these callers as people call in in their lives um uh on the other hand you get the guy and he hadn't he can't keep a job doesn't like to work much you know and he's trying to figure out a way
Starting point is 00:38:18 all the time to trick something or scam something or scheme something you this guy can't be nailed down to anything and the same thing if you switch it from guy to gal it's not a it's not a get picking on men thing it's a you know picking on people thing because we got to be grown-ups to win at these different areas of our lives and those that couple there's got it they got a lot of the like they got the skills they got the stuff 16 years of marriage and the way she was she wasn't whining about her husband she's just trying to figure out a system a process to communicate better the whole different thing see how that works that's why we take good marriages in financial peace university make them great and sometimes how we take a
Starting point is 00:39:00 marriage is on the rocks and save it and we're not even in the marriage business. But it's the number one thing people fight about, money and money problems. And that has probably always been that way. All the research tells us that. That puts us out of the Dave Ramsey Show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Hey guys, it's Blake Thompson, Senior Executive Producer for The Dave Ramsey Show.
Starting point is 00:39:35 This hour's over, but you can find more great content on our YouTube channel. Catch the most watched Dave Ramsey, debt-free. Go to the Dave Ramsey Show YouTube channel and click subscribe. Dave Ramsey here. Did you know that you can grow?

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