The Ramsey Show - App - Use a Rifle Instead of a Shotgun Approach to Finding Clients (Hour 1)

Episode Date: June 11, 2020

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality. Dr. John is with us today as my co-host on the air. Welcome back. Thanks, man. You doing good?

I'm making it. How about you? That is the way to say it. Me too. I am making it. I am better than I deserve, as you have probably heard. Yes. Open phones at 888-825-5225 as we talk about your life and your money, which is what we

do here on the Dave Ramsey Show. Jeremy's with us in South Carolina. Hi, Jeremy. How are you? Hey, good. How are you guys doing? Better than I deserve. How can we help?

I was hoping to get some advice on kind of like a side hustle. I'm wondering the best way to acquire clients or customers moving forward with um trying to give some golf lessons okay i may need to hire you to help me out man one of the one of the rules jeremy is to establish customers that are beyond hope and don't take them you do not want a guy with a counseling degree as your customer on golf. I'm just saying. Listen. Okay.

So where would you be giving the lessons? Just at any public courses in the area. Okay. Where they do not have a resident pro, and so you're allowed to go on that course, right? Right. I would make sure beforehand with all that to make sure it's okay and i'm not stomping on anyone's territory right right and so um where would you think you would find people that want golf lessons i you know i'm not sure if it'd be best

to kind of go door to door and give out some flyers or something or to go social media or I'm just wondering. How about local golf shops? That's a good idea too. Yeah, and how about local gyms that have workout facilities and just, you know, have some flyers in there. Okay. People that are active. Door-to-door might be a little hit or miss.

I'm not sure what percentage of the public are golfers, but that sounds like that's a little bit of a shotgun approach. I probably want to use more of a rifle. Okay. What makes you think you're a good golf instructor? I played junior golf, collegiate golf, and played professional golf. Okay. So I think I asked that in a way that sounded like I was accusing you of not being a good golf teacher.

I just want to know what has inspired you to decide this is a good track for a side hustle? Well, just, you know, I've played golf for a long time, and I have a lot of knowledge about the swing and the technique, and I'd love to use it on the side to make some money. Yeah. Okay, cool. Well, I would suspect there's two other things I would look into, is try to find if there are any social media groupings, like Facebook groups,

that are about golf in your area um and uh uh what if there's any leagues or uh things that are not associated with a club that that meet at a certain area once you get in a nest of golfers though you should be able to build referrals like crazy like i've been taking golf lessons from our pro for a couple years i never swung a club in my life until two years ago so i suck beyond belief but um until he met me yeah and now and now it's believable that i suck this bad because i found someone else just like me but anyway but anyway the uh uh yeah and then what happens is guys that i'm talking golf with somewhere you know guys i'm hanging out with i'm talking about taking a lesson and go, hey, who are you taking it from? And I send them over to my guy.

So I've sent probably three or four people over to my guy over that two-year period of time. So you end up getting in a group of people that are doing the same thing. And the word, you know, word can spread. And just ask your customer once you get one or two to spread the word for you. I'll give you a free lesson if you can give me a referral another thing is i i spent a couple years coaching high school basketball and track and having folks who would come volunteer to help coach and that i got to put a name to a face and see if they were good with young people and then it becomes a referral later on when a parent comes to me and says hey

do you know someone who could help give some after hours lessons um so maybe volunteering with the local middle school or high school golf teams and seeing if they may be interested in it. But put yourself in proximity to quote our friend Ken. Get around people that are doing it. Spread the word. That's going to be your thing. Nick is with us in New York. Hey, Nick, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show.

Hi, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So I am 19. I have no debt, and I am about $8,000 away from for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So I am 19. I have no debt, and I am about $8,000 away from having my college tuition saved in full. Good for you. My question is, should I start contributing a small percentage to my retirement

or press to save the $8,000 faster? I would save and save and save and save until you – I would keep saving and saving and saving. I would not start retirement until you graduate from college debt-free. Okay. Pile up cash as high as you can pile it. How did you do this? Yeah, Nick, who are you?

You just gave me hope for what... I have a little help from my parents, and I work like 35 hours a week. Doing what? I work for a school. Doing what? I work for a school. Doing what? Like child care. Okay, good for you. Awesome, man.

Outstanding. Very cool. So what are you going to study in school? I'm actually studying to be an elementary school teacher. Oh, very good. Very good. Okay. Well, the third most likely person in the list of our research that becomes

a millionaire is a teacher. And so if you will start retirement debt-free, start doing your retirement after graduation, and you will save 15% of your income, you will be a millionaire before you retire and invest 15% of your income into retirement, you're going to be just fine. You're going to be in great shape. You do not have to worry, sir. You are a man with a vision beyond your years. And I've got two elementary school kids, and that's a guy I wouldn't mind teaching my children. There you go. Right?

Amen. I want guys like that in classrooms. Good for you, Nick. That's very cool. Amanda is with us in Florida. Hi, Amanda. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hello.

Thank you. How can Dr. John and I help? Well, so I have a 20-year-old son. He's my oldest of three, and he came home. He was going to school out of state playing baseball, and obviously because of the whole COVID thing, came home. He was supposed to be doing his classes online. Um, and everything kind of spiraled. He started working for my

husband just to make money while he was doing school, which is all great. But over the last couple of months, we saw like major changes in him. Um, just attitude, lying, disrespect, things that we weren't really crazy about. Um, and unfortunately a couple of weeks ago we had to make the tough call of asking him to leave because the disrespect just got way out of hand. Um, what was the source of all that? I'm not sure. I mean, honestly, I think he got in with some friends and just he's got people saying things to him that, you know, what he should be doing. And, you know, I think he sees some of his friends making their life already and he feels like he should, you know, he just wants to start making money and start his life, which in and of itself is fine. That's just the way he went about it. Amen.

And again, just the disrespect and everything like that. So my question is, he works for my husband's company, still is working for my husband, and he makes really good money. I'll tell you what, hold on. We're going to get through this break and come back. I want to make sure John has a few minutes to unpack this with you and we get a good answer for you. Got a lot of pain going on. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Most people's money problems come from not paying attention. That's why before I spend a dime of my money on something, I do the research and make sure it's going to live up to what it claims. Recently, I got a great pair of sunglasses from a company called Shady Rays. When you're looking for sunglasses, it feels like your options are limited.

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had changed his attitudes to a point of disrespect to the point that they asked him to not stay with them anymore. He does, however, still work for his dad's company, and that's about how far we got in the discussion. A lot of pain, a lot of things going on. And, Amanda, then you were getting ready to pose your question, and we ran into a commercial break. So how can we help?

So he's working for my husband. He's decided that, you know, this is what he wants to do for a living. It's a block construction block company. And so he's dropped out of school. And we told him from the beginning that if you because we gave him several opportunities to say, you know, to make sure this is what he wanted to do, that he has to pay us back for school if he messes it up, like if he does things that he, you know, and so my, as he's working for my husband, we've asked him to move out. He's moved in with his girlfriend's family. We've told him he has to pay us back $1,000 a month,

and he's making good money. So I guess my question is, is that reasonable? We told him if he decides he's not paying us back, then he no longer has a job with my husband. And again, this is all stuff I never thought I'd have to deal with. And I'm just trying to, of course I feel guilty that we've kicked him out, but I know we needed to, it's just all this. I don't know. I'm not saying, I think I'm just wanting some confirmation or correction, whichever. Yeah. It sounds like, um, there's a couple of things going on here. One is I want to high-five you for you and your husband getting on the same page and setting boundaries, whatever those happen to be. I know those are hard, especially when it comes to that moment

when you look at your son who's 21 on one hand and who's still, what, like three, right? You still remember those days. And you've still, you still got a three-year-old there too. And that doesn't, that's not easy. And so I want to high five you guys for doing the hard, right, loving thing. Um, the second thing is, um, before we get into the nitty gritty about the, the stipulations you put on him financially and, and you know, his work is, I want to encourage you and your husband to what I would say, get off site, which is, you know, that's a business term for y'all. Go get breakfast and sit down together and grieve the loss of the picture that you had in your head.

That was when our son's 21. And then say that that picture for right now looks different. And then say, here's the new one. And what happens often is folks just move right into the next thing. They race into it. To quote the language we use here, they stay gazelle intense. They never stop to transition from one picture to the next, and it just adds weight and pain to all the conversation discussions,

and it just makes things cloudy and messy. Um, and then, so when it comes to the, um, comes to the, the financial thing, here's my thing. I've worked with so many 19, 20, 21 year olds, thousands over the years. And I would really challenge you all. If you and your husband are together, y'all are united to give him a moment. Um um and i get the dollars and cents and dave i'd love to hear your perspective as as a guy who's parented older kids i haven't mine are still young um my guess is he's gonna he's gonna circle back around and my guess is that he is in a season he's in a moment and he's testing boundaries he's seeing how much y'all love him how much you care about him and my opinion is putting a dollar amount on it right this second when things are hot

and things are painful, that may not be the – that's going to give him fuel to a punitive fire versus a we love you fire. That said, your boundaries are your boundaries, and you get to decide what those are. And I just – my opinion, Dave, is I wouldn't bring money into this conversation. Like, you owe us now. It doesn't seem like the right moment to be having that conversation. How much money is he into you for? Well, honestly, like $20,000.

Okay. And what's your household income? Mine and my husband's, probably just under $100. Okay. And then you're wanting to add what? You're asking what? From Adam, we're asking him for $1,000 a month. No, you were just about to add some more information.

Okay. To John's point, what you're trying to do, and it's a struggle in these high-stress situations to maintain it, you're trying to help him. That's the goal. Your reason for doing all of this is 5% self-protection, and I demand anyone in my presence to have reasonable respect for me. That's normal. But 5% of this is that. 95% of this is you know the way he's acting is not good for him,

and you're trying to help him adjust his behavior so the 30-year-old him is a better him. Agreed? True. And so the way I would ask myself the question is not do I haul fast to this particular rule of the money. I would ask whether forgiving that money or waiting a little bit to collect that money or being hardcore to collect that money now, which one of those things brings him to where you want him to be? Because this is about you still parenting him.

That's really what it amounts to. And that's a reasonable thing. So if I love someone, I'm trying to do what's best for them. So which you have one tool left in your hands. You have two tools, the debt and the job. These are the two points of leverage you have with him. How can we best use those two points of leverage to get him to ultimately be a good a person that he's going to like and that he's going to want to be later because that's all

we're trying to do as parents we're just trying to get to turn them into humans you know and turn them into good humans turn them into good humans and right now you got one with a mouth on him yep yep and that what i've seen parents do is get into a tug of war. And then eventually you get to a place where a line is drawn so deeply that there's no coming back from it. And a 21 year old whose brain is still developing, who's still getting a lot of outside info from his buddies and from social media and from other nonsense, crosses a line that it's hard for them, whether it's a shame-wise or whether they end up lying to the people who love them the most or stealing from those who love them the most.

They end up in a place that it's hard for them to ever walk back from. And so, like Dave said, I would challenge you guys to play a 20-year game, a 10-year game versus a, I want him to pay a living with his girlfriend tax. Or would your husband do that to another employee who worked

for him right would hold those same outside of the um now i will tell you on that side of it from a family business perspective he cannot work there unless he is doing the job and having the same level of respect as other employees are expected yeah he's an employee yeah he can't bring his freaking little 21 year old-old mouth to work with him because I'll fire his little butt for that. In a heartbeat, I would. But you're going to act like I'm the CEO because, by God, I am at work, and you're going to act like you're an employee because you are.

And that's not a boundary I'm willing to negotiate on because you're going to create a toxic work environment for the rest of the team there because your family drama is now playing out in your husband's business. Bad plan. Do not allow that to happen. But as long as he's respectful at work, gets his work done, keeps his nose clean, so to speak, then you can play games with the money stuff

and uh other otherwise you know uh i mean you can decide to be hardcore forgive it completely or delay it or whatever anywhere in there but what gets you to where you want to be what has the most likelihood of him turning the corner what causes that grace or rules? Sometimes it's rules, and sometimes it's grace. You just got to make that call prayerfully, and John's suggestion, you guys getting off-site and kind of unpacking this rather than calling all the plays in the huddle real-time is really wise, because it's really, really easy when you are parenting teenagers to call all your plays in the huddle, which can cause damage to that teenager because parents lose it.

So, Dave, did you and your family decide we're going to – you had a stay-at-home conversation or a hard conversation about, here's when I'm dad, here's when I'm employer. Oh, definitely. As soon as they started talking about working here, we wear different hats. I think that's an important line to draw if you employ your kids. You've heard them, Rachel, Daniel, Denise, all of them call me Dave at the office. This weekend at the Lake House, Papa Dave.

And that's intentionality right there. Absolutely. Very, very clear. I'm the CEO here. I'm Grandpa this weekend. Beautiful. This is's intentionality right there. Absolutely. Very, very clear. I'm the CEO here. I'm Grandpa this weekend. Beautiful. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. I heard a statistic recently that absolutely blew my mind. 43% of Americans are not protecting their loved ones with life insurance.

This drives me crazy, people. What are you thinking? Taking care of your family has to be a top priority. Think about it. If you died today, would you be the hero by making sure that your family had the money necessary to carry on their life without struggle and hardship? Would they be able to pay the bills and plan for the future? That's what term life insurance is all about. Regardless of where you are in the baby steps, you've got to make this a top priority. Have I gotten my point across yet?

That's why I talk about Zander Insurance every day. They keep it simple and make sure they find you the best rates out there. Zander will do their job to find you the best rates and make sure you're served like I expect. But you have to take the first step. Go to Zander.com or call 800-356-4282. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, my co-host today here on the Dave Ramsey Show as we answer your questions about life and money. And as we celebrate with you, Mark is with us. We have humans in the lobby here.

It's good. Human beings are with us. This is a good thing. He's on the debt-free stage live right here. Hey, Mark, how are you? Absolutely wonderful, Dirk. Dave, how are you? Better than I deserve, man.

So you're here to do your debt-free scream. How much have you paid off? $277,384.90. Wow. Love it. How long did this take? 15 months, sir. Whoa. And your range of income during this time? Started from 42 and ended up at 75. Okay. So where in the world did you get $277,000 in 15 months? Sell a house? Figured you'd ask that. So we sold our first home that reduced $230,000 of the $277,000, and I lived in a semi-truck for about nine months, and I was able to use my parents' safety net so I can get off the road when I only had three of the 13 critters left while picking up a Domino's delivery job.

Okay, so the house got rid of two. So that left you with $47,000, and you just rocked that by busting your butt. Sure did. Way to go, man. So what kind of debt was the $47,000? So I had a student loan with me, a couple of credit cards, personal loan to swell, and the payday lenders. Pretty much anything and everything you could think of. You're kind of normal. Too normal.

Yeah. And that sucks. It sure did. And you don't want to be that anymore. I'm proud of you, man. Totally done with it, sir. So what in the world happened 15 months ago lit you up, man? So what lit me up is that I lost my ex-fiance on August 2018. Our dog was killed, and we had to sell our house because neither of us could keep it. And on top of that, I accumulated over 40—

Wait a minute. You all broke up. We did. Oh, okay. I didn't know how you lost her. Okay. Yeah. I wanted to make sure. And on top of that, I accumulated over $40, $25 overdraft fees in like the same year.

So a total rock bottom. I had no self-control or self-discipline. And I started the money fights and the money problems. Did that blow the engagement up? It blew it up. That was money. Money blew it up? Money blew it up. That was money. Money blew it up? Money blew it up the entire time, almost all the time.

That's the only thing we ever fought about. And so I repeatedly borrowed from her and paid her back, and that was the problem, and she got tired of the problem. I was also like the half-butt at work. Like I was a total joke. Wow. And so I enrolled into trucking school to try to save a sinking ship that sank anyway. Women do have a point where you can never get them back.

I became an avid Audible listener as an OTR driver and was a fan of the Rich Dad, Poor Dad series. So the Total Money Makeover comes on as my next lesson and my first impression was that since it was so short that it wasn't worth it, so I was like completely in the wrong because there were total opposites once endorsing debt. And the other one says, get out of it. Like, you know, what are you doing? So I've danced to the beat of the credit card shuffle. So why can't I two-step my way to get out of debt? So I then tuned into your YouTube show and I've

become an avid follower and a coordinator ever since. So you've been coordinating FPU? I have. My first one just finished. Wow. Thank you for doing that. Thank you. It's hard to lead a class and not actually do the stuff, isn't it? It is. So how long did you drive over the road? Nine months. Okay. So you just lived in the truck and went for it? Yes. How much did you make? You said it's 42 to 75, right? So I was taking home about 12, 1300 bucks a week. Yeah. You're just gone and just doing it. Wow. And it was difficult, too, just because you're away from your family the whole time. You're just working. It's like being deployed or something.

Yes. Yeah. Wow. How old are you? 30. Okay. So part of your self-control, like for the listeners who aren't watching this, I mean, I would say just eyeballing it, our muscles are about the same size, but not yours.

They sure are. They sure are. You're a pretty jacked dude. Yeah, his arm muscles are about the same size. They sure are. They sure are. You're a pretty jacked dude. His arm muscles are about the size of your leg muscles. That's how I imagine myself in the mirror. Was that part of your journey, getting self-control, getting – Were you a physical fitness guy before or after? It was also before that.

Okay. And you just pretty much used the exact same concept where if you can do this and stay disciplined on it, why can't you do that? So when you were talking on your total money makeover book, the physical fitness, and you don't have to work on it as hard because you've set yourself up in such a way where you've already put, you're already like financially fit in such a way where you just have to watch what you eat and watch what you like work out. And eventually it does balance itself out and it's a lot less work. So now you're debt-free and in shape. So what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is?

You have to set yourself up in this way where it's almost like a fail-safe thing. So sometimes I do have an occasional time where I can't get out of bed. So there's an alarm clock set where you have to get up. That's like your last one. So when that goes off, you have to get up and you have to like get up and just turn it off. So setting some fail safe things. In other words, is that for budgeting, I have a specific debit card for groceries and for like fuel. So I can never go over that. I know exactly how much is in it. And once that's gone, that's gone. Okay. So you got to,'ve got to give yourself some real boundaries, some real guardrails.

Yes. And then after the muscles build, so to speak, in that area, then you'll be able to lighten up on some of those controls. That's very well done. Totally. So you drove by something else pretty quick, and I want to ask you about it, because it's very interesting. You've gone through quite a personal transformation overall.

Yes. You said I was also a half-butt at work. Total half-butt. So what changed that? What changed that was I was doing a job that was a good job at the time, but the thing is that I didn't appreciate it, and I was told I should appreciate it. But the student wasn't ready to listen, so you just keep on diddy-bopping along. And when you finally hit that rock bottom where you just lose just about everything you're like wait a minute i'm doing

something wrong when when i got enrolled into trucking school it's about learning about okay how many hours can i drive in a day and where should i be stopping and how many miles and where would i reach that so it's a bit more of a goal setting so everything was shut down and start over from scratch to a point where like okay this is what I should be doing at work is how I should be focusing. So listening to your, your rants about like being a half, but it's like, that's totally me. Wow. Was not anymore. And the thing is too, is that with my new careers, every time that they have something, they always ask me first, Hey, can you take on this route?

Hey, can you deliver this one more time? I say yes. And they don't offer it to anybody else. I'm the first one in line. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah, that'll happen the rest of your life.

And all the promotions will line up for whatever you're doing the rest of your life. It's been life-changing. Yeah. I'm so proud of you, man. Well, thank you. You're standing tall, man. Yeah, really. Very cool.

So you're 30. Yes. There's a 26-year-old version of the former you out there listening right now. What are you telling him? What would I tell a 26-year-old me?

He's at the gym, working out, thinks that's everything, not treating his girlfriend with respect, whining about his boss at work, in debt. And irresponsible with money. Yeah. So talk to him. Because you did it. I'm just interested.

Tell him what to do. I would just tell him to appreciate her really, really well and never take anything that you have for granted, even to today. Whenever I ask my colleagues how they're doing, dude, anytime you're any, like, six feet above ground, it's always, like, a wonderful day. And the work that you're given, I mean, I'm like the Ken Coleman thing where I'm literally, like, living the dream when it comes to the truck driving job. And let's say if you're not at that spot where you are,

kind of like what you were saying is get yourself close enough to the boat where you can get off the dock. And I wouldn't imagine I would actually enjoy being a truck driver and just being out on the road. So it's been fun. And like, let's say if you are loving where you are and you're still being a half butt, it's like, what is there to appreciate? Because with the, what do you call them?

Disappearance of attitude, you have gratitude. So you, you changed your. So you changed your thoughts and you changed your actions. You did the hard work. Complete 180. Yeah. What a gift, man. What a gift.

I mean, the last 18 months is you changed the whole trajectory of your whole life. You're impressive. Thanks. Well done, Rockstar. Very well done. That's awesome.

Very cool. You are now officially an eligible bachelor. Totally. Totally. Totally. And you weren't before. You weren't eligible. You were just a bachelor.

And if arm size is anything, well done. Well done. All right, Mark. We got a copy of Chris Hogan's Everyday Millionaires for you, because there's no question that is on your agenda. That's the next stop, next story in your your book next chapter in your book well done very very well done all right mark 30 years old 277 000 paid off 230 of it was the sale of a house and the rest of it was a transformed life over 15 months making 42 to 75 count it down let's hear a debt-free scream you just got to keep on

trucking you can't stop and you won't stop three two one i'm dead i love it touchdown baby wow you can't talk about money without talking about life and it's hard to talk about life Touchdown, baby. Wow. You can't talk about money without talking about life, and it's hard to talk about life without talking about money, and it's hard to transform one without the other either. Well done, sir. Hey, folks.

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Hi, Jorge. How are you? Hey, Mr. Ramsey. How's it going? Better than I deserve. How can John not help? Yes, sir. So I had a couple of questions. So first of all, you know, I wanted your advice on managing debt right now. I have about $250,000 in debt. I'm about to start a medical residency in Iowa City. I'll be making about $ about 60k and my fiance will also start as a

lawyer she will also start making about 60k um how much debt does she have we she doesn't have anything it's all my debt she doesn't have any debt from law school no sir how'd she do that her parents paid for all her school wow that. That's awesome. Yes, sir. Okay, cool. All right, so you're getting ready to be an MD in two years, and you're making $60,000 as a resident in the meantime with $250,000, right? And when are you getting married? Yes, sir.

So we just got engaged about a week ago. Yay, congratulations. So thank you. Thank you so much. So we're thinking maybe within the next year and a half, two years, we're getting married. So we were wondering, you know, with her salary, once she starts working, she'll also make about $60,000. Should we put my $60,000 straight into my $250,000, or should I wait the four years until I finish my residency and, you know, my income potential is going to skyrocket and then pay everything then? Until you're married, she should not pay your bills.

Okay. You should not combine finances unless you're married. Right. So that would hasten the date of the marriage if I were in your shoes. Right. Because it sounds like you're wanting to go ahead and play house, and so you might as well be married. Okay. like you're wanting to go ahead and play house and so you might as well be married okay and um

yeah that that and and then we can talk about 120 110 000 household income live on as little as possible out of that and begin to chip away at the 250 and whatever's left will go into accelerate mode when you finish your residency get your md and get a much bigger paycheck right by then her income will be up, too, as well. So if I were talking to a doc and a resident that were married, that's how I would do it. But I would not advise her to pay your bills or vice versa until you're married. Very, very dangerous, relationally as well as legally and financially. Yes, sir.

What's the impetus behind an 18-month or two-year engagement? Well, since I'm starting residency in July, you know, the first year of residency, I'm going to be extremely busy being on call, you know, being in the hospital a lot. So the first year, I don't think we'll be able to find a good time for us to do it. So it's a 20-minute ceremony. Yeah, it's about the party then? Yeah, well, I mean, yeah, I guess we could do it like you said, you know, do the 20-minute ceremony.

I've talked to her about that, but no, she wants to do a full-on celebration. Well, I don't mind you doing a full-on celebration, but it takes a half a day. Yeah, yes, sir. Other than the planning and the money but uh but uh you're gonna be busy in residency and her first year as a lawyer is going to be like nothing she's ever experienced and and for being busy and being overwhelmed and being exhausted you can do that unified together or you can do that as fiance boyfriend girlfriend but i would if you know just old man stuff with three kids that got married, okay?

And we had big parties on all three of those. So I love a big wedding. Happy to do that. It sounds like her parents might have the cash to handle that. They paid for law school. So, you know, in that case, how quick can we plan the party? That's all it is. And so it could be like you start residency in July, we get married in September.

And you can plan a really nice big wedding, especially right now because there's no weddings. So you could probably like find venues and dance bands and everything else you want. They're probably like easy to get a hold of right now. For real cheap, man. And so, yeah. And, yeah, I mean, so I don't know how long it'll take you logistically to put the catering, the videographer, the photographer, the dance bands, the preacher, and the venue together. But I think I could organize that pretty quick if I had the budget and I were in your shoes and I didn't have anything to do between now and July. Because you don't start until July.

So that's what I would do. I would move all that up and then as a couple i would attack this residency which is a high stress thing the first year of law school which is a high stress thing and begin to attack the debt which is a high stress thing it's easier to do that as a couple than it is a sort of we're married but we're acting like it shacked up yes and i hear couples often try to plan around stressful events we're going to get married after the stress and i always want to tell them man you don't you don't get married around stress that's the rest of the trajectory guys and so i have my my recommendation you're saying john i'm just saying there's no there there right so yeah go through those hard times

together as a couple versus this yeah and let's pretend and stumble through and joke and halfway be married-ish. Man. Married-ish. Married-ish. I like it. Louis. Louis is in Florida. Hi, Louis. How are you?

Hey, good. How are you guys doing? Better than I deserve. What's up? Hey, it's an honor speaking to you. Really quick, I want to say I thank the Lord because of you. And me and my wife paid off $11,000 last week. Good for you.

And, yeah, and the question that I have is about my family. I came from Cuba, like, probably, like, 10 years ago. I met my wife. And now I'm kind of like I'm the weird guy in the family because the reason that I want to pay cash for everything. And I don't really know how to, like, you know. You know, like, let me say real quick, I have a little girl. She's three years old.

And we have two cars. They all pay off. What's the problem with your family? You know, they go after me saying, oh, why didn't you buy a new car, you know? You have a nice credit. Why you don't do these? They try to take me back to, you know, to death. I got you.

How old are you? How old are you? I'm 28. I'm 28. So you're like a full-grown man. Yeah. I know, but I understand. I'm a FedEx driver. I'm always listening to you, and I love you.

But the thing is, it really affects sometimes when you're at a party and all these crazy people trying to, you know, and you know that they're completely wrong because the plan is so clear and it's so easy to do. Here's the deal, Lewis. You know what I'm saying? Oh yeah, totally, totally.

Lewis? Yes? I'm going to free you today. You ready? Yes. Just put it down. And I wish it was more complex than that they don't get a vote you're in charge of you and your wife are in charge of your money

and you and your wife are in charge of how you raise your daughter and I love my parents I love my in-laws I love my brother and sister and they don't get a vote. And they give me advice. They give me their opinions.

They give me their, like, you know what I think? And I hear them, and I smile, and I laugh. And if I feel like they've crossed some kind of value line with me, which is rare, I'll push back. But they don't get a vote. And I sleep soundly. It keeps you from spending a lot of time arguing. Yeah, I sleep soundly. With people spending a lot of time arguing yeah i sleep that you're not going to change their mind and they're not going to change your mind

i've got relatives that don't know how to vote they vote the wrong way and i love them anyway that's right they're still my i still love them but there's no sense discussing that stuff with them no i don't have these discussions because they're going to continue to vote the wrong way and i can't do do nothing about it. And when it comes with debt, what I've found over time is people watch how you live, and they watch the light way you walk through challenging situations. And, Lewis, I can almost guarantee you in two years and five years and seven years, people are going to start pulling you aside at a party and saying, hey, man, tell me about this.

And they'll pull you aside. They won't do it in front of everybody. Tell me about this, Dave Ramsey. They ridicule you in front of everybody, but they'll pull you aside. They won't do it in front of everybody. Tell me about this Dave Ramsey thing. They ridicule you in front of everybody, but they'll pull you aside when they want to know how you won. Freedom is a light, and it shines on everybody. They don't get a vote. Put it down.

Put it down, baby. Dr. John's right. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. This is James Childs, producer of the Dave Ramsey Show. Once again, you made the Dave Ramsey Show one of the top four most popular podcasts last year. To get your daily dose of motivation and inspiration from the Ramsey Network, subscribe or follow today wherever you listen to podcasts.