The Ramsey Show - App - What To Do When Family Behaves Badly (Hour 3)

Episode Date: July 1, 2024

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Thanks for hanging out with us, America. We're glad you're here. Dr. John Deloney, number one best-selling author, Ph.D. in counseling, host of the Dr. John Deloney Show, Ramsey personality, all those kinds of things. He's my co-host today. The phone number is 888-825-5225. Matthew's with us in Denver. Hi, Matthew. How are you? Hey, Dave. Hey, Dr. John. Thanks for taking my call.
Starting point is 00:00:53 Sure. What's up? Yeah, so I'll try to be concise here, but back in 2017, my mom passed away when I was 19 and left me an inheritance that included a portion of my father's 401k that she received,000 loan two years ago to assist in his completion of his retirement home with his now wife. And the terms of said loan were a bit ambiguous. And I suppose over time, it's something that, you know, hasn't really been discussed. And I'm just looking for a little bit of guidance on how to, you know, pose the conversation and frame it in a way that doesn't seem, you know, greedy or pushy. You know, I am conscious of the fact that, you know that at one time it was his money. When it came to you, Matthew, it was not his money. It was your mom's. You got to get that out of your head. How did he ask you for the loan?
Starting point is 00:02:21 He kind of has a do-it-himself style attitude. Instead of going the, you know, traditional route of, I suppose, construction financing. No, no, no, no, no. How did he, by the way, he doesn't have a do it yourself because he had to call his son to borrow money. So he likes to do it when he's in control. That's two different things. How did he ask you for the money? Did he text you? Did he call you? Did he sit down with you and say, Hey man, need some help? How did that work out? Um, yeah, he, he called me and
Starting point is 00:02:50 just basically, you know, kind of had a joking attitude of, Hey, I need a, I need a loan from the bank and my son. And, um, we, at the time, um, I was still a little bit younger. You were 19? Yeah. Yeah. And so now you're 27? I'm 25 now. 25, okay. Yeah, I'd call him right back and say,
Starting point is 00:03:16 hey, Dad, you borrowed $40,000 from me. What's the payment plan going to look like? Just like that. What's your hesitancy? I suppose it just goes back to this you know i guess there's some details surrounding the separation between him and my mom and um you know just the impact that it had on him both you know emotionally financially and that's not your problem yeah that's his problem yeah why'd they get divorced um a long series of um alcoholism on the outside okay on your mom's side yes okay and i'm sorry um you lost your mom at 19 and your dad came in and was completely inappropriate,
Starting point is 00:04:07 did something a dad should never do with a 19-year-old, and put you in a quandary here, put you in a position where you're having to analyze if you did something wrong. Honey, you didn't do anything wrong. Your dad is completely a turd. He's completely out of line. This was wrong, wrong, wrong wrong wrong wrong and wrong okay you know you go to your son right after his mother dies and with all the conflicting emotions of this money came from
Starting point is 00:04:36 him from the divorce anyway and put you in that position was wrong okay you need to hear that it was manipulative and it was wrong and then he's got the audacity to not pay it back nor bring it up and now he's put you in another pinch where you're analyzing am i doing something wrong am i greedy you said well crap no you might be a greedy person in this story but you're not it dude do you hear that yeah this is coming from two dads brother you don't borrow forty thousand dollars from your grieving son to build a retirement home you just don't do that and then especially if you do that you don't leave him hanging wondering how how to ask, like what's the, the fact that he hasn't brought this up for a few years.
Starting point is 00:05:31 I would call him and jokingly respond, hey, the bank of. Bank of son is calling said note. Is calling the note. Note is due, dad. Are you building something? Are you doing something cool? What do you need the money for? He needs his money back.
Starting point is 00:05:45 Yeah, I mean, I'm not in a particular situation Are you building something? Are you doing something cool? What do you need the money for? He needs his money back. On principle. Yeah, I mean, I'm not in a particular situation where I suppose I need the money. I don't need to blame it on anything except I want my money back. I was just seeing if he was building a house or something, I'd have an excuse, but you don't need one. Yeah, that's what my point is. Yeah, you shouldn't. You shouldn't. I'm with John.
Starting point is 00:06:04 I just pick up the phone. You don't have to be a smart aleck. I'm feeling pretty smart aleck towards him, with john i just pick up the phone you don't have to be a smart aleck i'm feeling pretty smart aleck towards him but you don't have to be you don't have to be you can just be respectful and say dad um we never talked about this and we should have probably put something down on paper we were both kind of dumb to do that but i do need this money and i need to know what your plan is i need it really pretty quick. So what's your plan to get that $40,000 back to me? Okay. Yeah. Hey, Matt, what's the chance he tells you, well, son, actually, it was my money.
Starting point is 00:06:32 Is that going to happen? I don't see that happening. I see it kind of, I suppose, being dodged or pushed down the road of like, oh, well, you know, we still have a lot of outweighs we need for the home. It's only been six years. Money is a little bit tighter at this current moment. Sorry? Yeah, I would say, you know, I'm sorry about all that,
Starting point is 00:06:57 but it's only $40,000, and, you know, I've got some stuff I need to do, and I need to get this squared around because I'm feeling really uncomfortable about it. Yeah. Yeah, and, again, don't raise your voice. You don't have to be a jerk. You're not a jerk. You're a kind person. If it was me, I wouldn't be kind because I'm a jerk.
Starting point is 00:07:16 But, I mean, this kind of stuff pisses me off. But, yeah, it's just I cannot conceive of Daniel Ramsey's mother passing away, even if I was divorced from her, and me immediately going to my teenage son while he's grieving his mother's loss and saying, oh, by the way, I need some of that money that she took from me in the divorce. Under the auspices of, I like to just do it myself. I don't go to no stupid bank. I don't want to deal in the divorce. Under the auspices of, I like to just do it myself. I don't go to no stupid bank. I don't want to deal with the bank.
Starting point is 00:07:47 I want to deal with my 19-year-old grieving son. That's what I'd rather deal with. Dave, I... You know what I hear in this kid's voice that breaks my heart? Yeah. Anything to make his dad happy. Well, I think it's worse than that. I think he knows that his dad got him.
Starting point is 00:08:05 And there's that sense when your dad's not who you thought he was that all of us go through. But in this case, it breaks your heart. No, because this time it's worse. Golly. Sorry, brother. Hey, boys and girls, don't mess up your own kids. There's a plan.
Starting point is 00:08:26 Let's try that one. This is The Ramsey Show. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. All right, so I was born and raised in Texas, and I love the myth of the lone cowboy. You know, the guy who doesn't need anyone or anything. It's a fun story, and it's a lie. In our self-obsessed society, we're obsessed about our own diets, our own workout routines, our own jobs, our own social
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Starting point is 00:10:04 No one accidentally wins the Super Bowl. No one accidentally is married for 50 years. No one accidentally completes a PhD program. No one accidentally becomes successful in business. Winning is not an accident. It is a series of course corrections. It is a series of failures that you overcome, and it is a constant state of planning to intentionally win.
Starting point is 00:10:30 It's how you stay married. It's how you win at anything. You constantly are working at it and planning it. Money's the same way. No one accidentally gets wealthy except the occasional lotto winner, and even they bought the stupid ticket on purpose although it's a horrible way to get rich but anyway because you're more
Starting point is 00:10:53 likely to get struck by lightning twice statistically walking to the market one mile actually actual statistics you are more likely to get struck by lightning two times walking one mile to the market than you are to buy the ticket that by lightning two times walking one mile to the market than you are to buy the ticket that wins the lotto. That's how unlikely it is. So anyway, boy, how did I get off on that? If you're going to win, win by being on purpose. On purpose with money is a budget. It's called the EveryDollar app, the world's best every dollar, the world's best budgeting app. Check it out. We call it EveryDollar because every dollar has a name, every dollar has a mission. Download EveryDollar for free at the App Store best budgeting app. Check it out. We call it EveryDollar because every dollar has a name, every dollar has a mission.
Starting point is 00:11:25 Download EveryDollar for free at the App Store and Google Play. Anna's with us in Oregon. Hi, Anna. Welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi. Thank you so much. I've had something on my mind for a little bit too long, so I'm excited to share it with you guys and see what you think.
Starting point is 00:11:41 Okay. So, basically, my sister had been working for me off and on. She was a great employee. Every person she's ever worked for has loved her. She's really wonderful. The only issue I had was at the end of her working for me, I knew she was going to leave at some point. I just didn't really know when, basically just when she got a good opportunity. So what ended up happening, I was three months postpartum and she took one of my, basically my clients, their work and ended up taking a position at their company as well. Basically being their personal assistant and took my work with them, with her. And I just have never really known how to navigate that.
Starting point is 00:12:26 I'm not sure if I'm right to feel somewhat slighted. What is the work? It's cleaning. Cleaning. She's their personal assistant, and she does their cleaning. Yes, I was doing the cleaning with my company. You were doing maid service. Yes.
Starting point is 00:12:50 And they hired her in their home to be their personal assistant, and now she's also their maid. Yes. Oh. Have you talked to her about it? I did a little bit. And she, I think one thing that kind of made me feel uncomfortable was she basically said, you know, that's just kind of what happens with family, doing business with family. And I'm like, I don't think it has to be that way. But
Starting point is 00:13:18 I'm also not sure if like, I'm right to feel, you know, a little bit frustrated with how it happened. What else is going on here? I think a big thing for me was just being three months postpartum, which is completely unrelated. I know that. But it just was a sensitive time for me. And then I lost her. She was my best employee so um and I just didn't expect to lose like 25 percent of my business's income it was relatively small at that point
Starting point is 00:13:51 you had four clients no I had more than four clients then how would losing one client be 25 25%? I think it was, it was, my work was kind of seasonal. So at that point I was making, um, I'm sorry, it was, this was a few years ago. That's what I was like, I've been thinking about for way too long. Um, so I don't think 25% is accurate. Okay. You might be right. I think you, I think you've exaggerated that in your mind because you're hurt. I'm guessing, but I don't, I mean, you didn't have four clients. You took one. You had more than four. And so that would not be 25% unless you charged this one family an inordinate amount of money to clean their house.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Were you just heartbroken that your sister didn't work with you anymore? We definitely charged them more than most other people. You said it was inevitable that your sister left your company. Why? Why is it inevitable? We had just talked about that. She worked for me when she came back during breaks from college and whatnot. It was just kind of something she did.
Starting point is 00:15:05 We helped each other out. And I knew she was going to get a different job because she didn't want to do cleaning. But she got a job cleaning. Well, and doing a whole bunch of other things for this company that's now a very, very large, well-known company. So here's the deal. You can feel however you want to feel.
Starting point is 00:15:23 Okay? The question is, are you ready to move past this are you ready to end your relationship with your sister and i don't i don't hear anything here that makes me say like i don't think your sister's a crook i don't think she's a bad person it's not like she got a job and then that job also morphed into hey we want you to do this too as a part of this bigger job she did not go open a cleaning service and take four of your customers to her new cleaning service. She went to work for the people in their home and cleaned their house as a part of that job. So I don't think that she didn't set out to steal the customer.
Starting point is 00:15:57 She took a job with them. They decided that their new personal assistant was also going to be their maid. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, and so I don't think she set out here to screw you is my point. No, she didn't mean to do that. If she had left and taken three of your customers and opened a competing cleaning service, that's a different set of emotions.
Starting point is 00:16:20 That's a thief that happens to be your sister. I think your sister just took a job, and I think it was at a real delicate time, and it kind of hurt your feelings, and you kind of wanted her to stay longer, and it was a bad timing for you, and you missed the income too, and all of that combined is just jumbled up in your head. If I'm you, I'm going to just drop it and move on. That really helps. Thank you so much. Because if I thought your sister was a crook, I'm going to just drop it and move on. That really helps. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:16:46 Because I just, if I thought your sister was a crook, I'd tell you on the air, you know that because I do it all the time. And I don't think, and by the way, I don't think you're a wuss. I think this is a strange, weird, twisted up thing, so it's hard to figure out. I don't think you're a bad, I think you've got reasonable, I think you have reasons to have good emotions on this but I don't think there was enough uh ethical breach for me to not have my sister anymore oh totally okay and so and there's kind of no in between if you just let this splinter
Starting point is 00:17:18 lay under there it's like well I love my sister except for that one thing you know does she know you've been mad at her for two years like this It's like, well, I love my sister except for that one thing. You know? Does she know you've been mad at her for two years like this? I don't know. She might suspect it. I'm not sure. I can almost guarantee you she knows something's up, and here's what's kind of cruel.
Starting point is 00:17:42 She's made up a bunch of stories about what she did or what you did. I think it's worth sitting down and having a cup of coffee with her and just telling her I've been mad at you for two years. Cause you left when I was pregnant and I had a baby and I missed you and you were my best employee. And then you took one of my customers and I just created this big story about how, and I think that in say, I'm sorry, I want you to be my sister and I love you and I miss you. I think you'll probably sleep better.
Starting point is 00:18:07 Yeah. There's no ethical problem. And that's a good move. I like that move. It's real clean. And it gets, because all the rumination, all the, she's been living rent-free in your head. And so I think an eviction is in order. Yeah, big time. Just for your peace.
Starting point is 00:18:24 It's called forgiveness yeah even if she didn't really do anything wrong you still forgive her for hurting your feelings and that's okay that's the magic of forgiveness uh we often think it's for other people forgiveness is for you man i'm just not carrying your stuff anymore yeah i'm gonna carry it set you set you down i'm not carrying anymore man man. Who? What's your name? Yeah. Huh? What? No, we're good. And I can guarantee you in this kind of situation,
Starting point is 00:18:52 their sister's going to sit down and be like, all right, good, because I made up some stories about you too. And it'll be a good cathartic air cleaning, and it'll be good for everybody. Maybe. Yeah. At least the folks around Starbucks will be entertained that day. That's. There we go. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:19:10 Or whatever the name of the coffee shop is that these things happen in. That's kind of ridiculous. The Waffle House. There you go. That's better. That's better. Redneck reconciliation. This is the Ramsey Show.
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Starting point is 00:20:33 Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host. Open phones at 888-825-5225. We're live in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions, and we invite you to stop by at any time and hang out. We're doing the show from one to four central time. We're just South of Franklin, Tennessee. Great place to visit in the Nashville area. We invite you to come by and drink some wonderful free coffee,
Starting point is 00:20:57 some homemade chocolate chip cookies, all on us. Uh, smells like mama's kitchen when you walk in here, not like corporate America. And in the middle of all of that is a debt-free stage. And on the debt-free stage is Steven and Jasmine. Hey, guys, how are you?
Starting point is 00:21:12 Hey, Dave. Hey. Welcome. Where do y'all live? San Antonio, Texas. I love San Antonio. Awesome. Welcome to Nashville.
Starting point is 00:21:20 And to do a debt-free scream, how much have you paid off? $81,137.17. Look at you. Way to go. How long did that take? and to do a debt-free scream how much have you paid off uh eighty one thousand one hundred thirty seven dollars and seventeen cents look at you way to go how long did that take uh 52 months 52 months and your range of income during that four years uh range of income was from 53 000 to about 122 000 wow nice jump what do y'all do for a living uh i am a product owner owner and she is a homemaker. I'm home with the boys. Yeah. A domestic engineer.
Starting point is 00:21:49 There we go. Got it. Okay. Very cool. Very cool. Good for you guys. So you've seen a nice income increase in the last four years. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:57 A lot of that was just God's undeserved blessing. We just had opportunities come into our lab. Somebody messaged us out of the blue and wanted us to do some nannying for them and she did that for a while i took a side job at costco um pressure washing and also uh you know just applying for applying for new jobs so a lot of a lot of components there but all god's blessing well done well he tends to bless you when you work like that it's pretty amazing it's a weird thing the the The harder I work, the luckier I am. So what kind of debt was this $81,000?
Starting point is 00:22:31 All student loans. Okay. How long have you all been married? Seven years. She knows. So you're married a couple of years, and you look up, and there's $81,000 worth of Sally Mae living in the spare bedroom. What was the uh i've had it moment what was the tipping point where you said something's gotta change and you
Starting point is 00:22:51 plugged into this whole ramsey thing it's a really funny story um i think we had just gotten married and steven asked me oh no i asked him uh how much student loan debt do you have and he said 30 000 and i said that's it so i had the rest of it all in under my name oh okay so you hadn't even talked about this until after the wedding it didn't it didn't occur to us we just knew we loved each other and then we had to ask questions and we had a bunch of somebody we'll work the debt thing out later yeah all right so we got eighty thousand,000 worth of debt, and you sit there for a little while, a few years without doing anything. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:29 And then what was the catalyst? What woke you guys up? You know, I had always known about your name. Your name was a household name in my household. Well, that makes sense, huh? And Jasmine hadn't heard of you, so we went to a class at Waysideside chapel in san antonio and it was led by uh jim and joe addington and they they led the class and i mean you went to financial
Starting point is 00:23:51 peace university financial peace university and that just that kicked us off okay all right why did you go to class after three years or two years already being married you know it was funny also because um not too long after we'd gotten married, we had gotten our first apartment, and I was like, so when are we going to get a house? You know, we're married now. Let's have a house. And so that's when he sat me down and talked about the debt snowball plan. And I was initially shocked and disappointed and frustrated.
Starting point is 00:24:23 But after thinking. The $30,000 didn't bother you. The fact that you had to pay it off was disappointing, right? Yeah. It was like the Michael Scott, like, I declare bankruptcy. You're like, I'm a wife. I declare house. And he was like, that's not how math.
Starting point is 00:24:36 I told her, well, I mean, we got $90,000 in student loans. We already have an invisible house that we're paying. I was like, what? Because, you know, we have a mortgage already, mortgage already basically oh you're such a mean husband so it took me some time to like think about it and then when i did agree and accept it and align myself under the plan god gave me contentment and he actually gave me excitement to cut corners and say no to things and plan dinners on eight dollars. It was really fun. And then you got into the class after that, right? I wonder the chronology of that.
Starting point is 00:25:10 But I think it was all at about the same time. We had a lot of dates at Costco food court. I like it. Saved some money. I like it. A buck and a half hot dog. I'm just saying. All right.
Starting point is 00:25:20 So fun. All right. Very good. Way to go, you guys. How does it feel to be free? Thank you. I'll let her answer first. good way to go you guys how's it feel to be free thank you i'll let her answer first you want to go um it was it's it's great i remember the first time we looked at our budget it's like there was a new lightness and brightness to the budget the place
Starting point is 00:25:36 where our debt was at the bottom was no longer there and i didn't even realize kind of that inward negative downward pull it felt when we looked at the debt on our budget and it wasn't there anymore so it was just really a little really bright happy moment for me i feel like it's it's gonna dawn on me at at some point i feel like i have debt ptsd like i'm still it's over but i'm still in the war you know so i'm hoping it'll dawn on me on this trip here yeah i mean both of y'all just are saying it right there's a people want to fight us about the numbers all the time and they just totally disregard i love the way you just described it and realize how it was pulling me down that's peace right i
Starting point is 00:26:20 didn't realize what i was lacking until i didn't owe somebody else wasn't telling me how to do my life. Right. Exactly. Yeah. And now you're free. Way to go, y'all. Way to go. And two little boys come during this time and everything. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:32 Exactly. Yeah. And how old are they? We have Levi, who's just about to be four, and Samuel, who's just about to be two. Cool. And they're back home. No, they're here. They're running around here somewhere but they'll bring them
Starting point is 00:26:45 on here shortly okay good deal all right uh you never know about our team they may just take them for a walk you know it's possible so yeah very cool all right what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is now that you've done it it's up to you you want to take it or you want me to um i think that what we experienced is that um things are going to happen that are going to throw us off track. Like having a kid. COVID happened during our debt-free journey. Yeah. And moving.
Starting point is 00:27:15 Yeah. We just had periods of chaos. Go ahead. The Bible says, you know, a righteous man falls seven times and gets back up. And I think that was big for us. You know, you're going to have mess ups. You're going to have months maybe where you blew it or, you know, a car accident happens or Mother's Day happens and something throws you off.
Starting point is 00:27:36 And you just have to keep getting back up and trying and trying and trying, you know. And it was amazing when we would do that. We would pray and recommit ourselves to the lord and just on being intentional with this journey and and we would see things happen we would most immediately almost immediately if we you know get back on the horse and you know say we're going to keep we're going to keep at this and almost immediately god would bless us with some new thing that just came out of the blue that's this that's going to accelerate the plan yeah it's very cool very cool congratulations you guys we're very proud of you excellent who was cheering you on as you went through this um probably our biggest cheerleaders were jim and
Starting point is 00:28:14 joe addington that we actually started helping them with the fbu class so we went twice a year every year so you're coordinators now all right and um yeah and our our parents as well our parents were very considerate of our situation. They were okay with us being crazy cheap at Christmas and birthdays, and they knew what we were doing, so then they supported us in it. All right. Well, let's bring Levi and Samuel into the pick here. There we go.
Starting point is 00:28:39 Very cool. And, hey, guys, congratulations. Steven, Jasmine, Samuel, and Levi, San Antonio, Texas, $81,000. and uh hey guys congratulations steven jasmine samuel and levi san antonio texas 81 000 paid off in 52 months making 53 to 122 count it down let's hear a debt-free scream one two three we're debt-free free! Very cool. Very cool. Those little boys have their whole life changed because mom and dad took control. That's pretty amazing.
Starting point is 00:29:18 I love the way she said that. I was a wife and so I was like, where's my house? I remember I got my first job and I was like, I got my first job. Now where's my house? And I mean, I remember I got my first job, and I was like, all right, I got my first job. Now, where's fill in the blank? All the stuff that comes with it. And again, it's just not how math works. Nope. They don't do it that way.
Starting point is 00:29:33 This is The Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Our scripture of the day is Psalm 104. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise to his name. Zig Ziglar said, be grateful for what you have and stop complaining. It bores everybody else, does you you no good and doesn't solve any problems so this is fun news release warren buffett gives away another 5.3 billion says his children will
Starting point is 00:30:17 manage the estate warren buffett on friday made his biggest annual donation to date giving 5.3 billion worth of berkshire Hathaway shares to five charities. The Oracle of Omaha has pledged to give away the fortune he built at Berkshire. The Omaha, Nebraska-based conglomerate he started running in 1965. Buffett has been making annual donations to the five charities since 2006. In an interview with the Wall Street Journal, Buffett clarified that after his death, the enormous fortune he amassed from building the one-of-a-kind conglomerate will be directed to a new charitable trust overseen by his three children. Buffett has previously said his three children are the executors of his will, as well as the named trustees of the charitable trust that will receive 99% of his wealth. He said his will will be made public after his death.
Starting point is 00:31:07 After my death, the disposition of my assets will be an open book, no imaginative trusts or foreign entities to avoid public scrutiny, but rather a simple will available for inspection at the Douglas County Courthouse. Hey, so there's a question inside of here. This shows my ignorance here what is a a share versus a b share um it says that he owns 207 000 berkshire a shares and then 2500 b shares uh not positive at berkshire uh it means there's two classes of shareholders, but I don't know what rights those two classes have. A shares would be in line first and would have probably been
Starting point is 00:31:53 issued first, probably have some kind of superior ownership rights. The thing is is when you donate stock to a charity, um, you, it's a marked up, uh, basis, which means that say his, let's say his, let's say the 5.3 billion worth of a shares he gave, was it a shares that he gave? Is that what he said? Oh, I don't, it just says that's, that's what he's worth. He's worth about 130 billion. Okay. Or third.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Yeah. Okay. And so, um, let's just say he donated 5.3 billion worth130 billion. Okay. Or third. Yeah. Okay. And so let's just say he donated $5.3 billion worth of shares. Okay. His cost on those shares is not relevant to his write-off. He gets to write off. The value? The value.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Oh. Not what he paid. Okay. So anytime you're doing a donation and you can donate real estate that has gone up in value you get the market value as your write-off not the purchase price gotcha and so uh and that's true of stock as well so if you buy a stock for i don't know a million dollars worth of stock and it goes up to 10 million dollars uh when you when you donate it to a charity you get a 10 million dollar write-off even though you only paid one million for what i
Starting point is 00:33:12 remember the other side of that i remember being at a university where they received a gift that was going to be paid out over five years but they got to book it in year one which built up the their borrowing ability and i was like that doesn't feel like real money it's not the it's an accrual accounting but the uh yeah the endowment is what that's for yeah that's a difference that's a different scenario but it works kind of similarly in the sense that you get a stepped up basis on uh on don't on charitable donations of of assets so that's good it's great he's an incredibly generous man that's wonderful incredibly generous but it always circles back to um whether you have 130 billion or 135 billion before this donation um or your net worth or if you have 50 000 being intentional about what the fact that
Starting point is 00:34:00 you're not going to be here anymore yeah is important and to think it through yeah it is it's uh and you you know the more you have the more intentional you've got to be because the government will take half of it with this little thing called a death death tax called the estate tax and so you've got assets over 20 million bucks the government will take 55 of every dollar if you don't have a plan so after you've already paid taxes on it once by the way so because they love you and they just want to take care of you they're just giving that way but anyway buffett thank you warren buffett for setting the tone charitable giving and um and publicizing that is always a good thing because it encourages other people uh and it doesn't mean that warren buffett is holy uh he is a good person
Starting point is 00:34:47 i'll be i think he's a good person and uh all appearances are he's a good person i don't know him personally but uh all appearances are he's you know run a clean ship and uh and is obviously generous so very cool very cool stuff james is with us. James is in Fort Worth, Texas. Hi, James. How are you? All better than I deserve. How are y'all? Just the same, sir. How can we help?
Starting point is 00:35:11 So my wife and I just got married four months ago, and we were looking at trying to figure out what to do to get out of our debt and came across you guys. You're some friends at church. Cool. And we just finished up Total Money Makeover and are super excited. Wow. We set up our every dollar budget, and we were gazelle intense getting ready to start,
Starting point is 00:35:32 and then she told me the next day, we are expecting. Yay! We have a balancing baby coming in February. Wow, that's cool, James. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. The best news in the world.
Starting point is 00:35:47 Oh, it absolutely is. And so we're trying to just handle this right. I mean, how do we take care of all these goals at once, following the baby steps? Can I give you a snapshot here? Let me answer your question first, and then we'll see how much of your snapshot we actually have to get into. Absolutely, yeah. Don't start the baby steps right now. Okay.
Starting point is 00:36:08 Instead, push pause. Okay. And I do want you to be on the EveryDollar app, and I do want you to squeeze every dime out of your budget, but I just want you to stack cash. All right. For nine months, like when baby comes. Okay?
Starting point is 00:36:28 So how much money do you think you can save you've just done your every dollar budget kids you can save a month for the next nine months if you put every like you were like you were intense gazelle intense and you're getting out of debt you're going to be so focused but instead of throwing it at the debt you're going to throw it in an account and you're going to really work hard to build up as much as you can build up how much can you save a month uh we're looking at anywhere from about two grand to twenty two uh a hundred a month okay let's just call it two grand for fun let's call it two grand for fun yeah okay nine months that's 18 a grand agreed yes sir okay so you should have 18 to 20 000 in an account when baby comes that gives us a little extra peace of mind at an exciting time but also a bit of a scary time when you're having your first baby
Starting point is 00:37:09 okay now when baby comes home healthy and mommy comes home healthy and everything's cool and you've got good insurance i'm sure and so all the bills are paid. We were still sitting there looking at $20,000 in your account. Agreed? Yes, sir. Then you push play on your total money makeover. When you push play, that means you're going to take everything out but $1,000 and throw it at your debt snowball, and your debt snowball is listed smallest to largest. How much debt do you have, not counting a house?
Starting point is 00:37:47 So we are just under $,000 okay and so if we have 20 in the end of nine months we would throw that at it with a thousand dollars left in the account for baby step one and the first 20,000 of your 70,000 is gone instantly you would have already paid that 20,000 on it were you working a total money makeover baby steps during this nine months. So you really have not lost any ground except a tiny bit of interest. Good, good, good. But that gives you some padding for baby, and I want a little extra padding because if there's a little bit of a hiccup or something, I want you to have some money. Yes, sir, yes, sir.
Starting point is 00:38:22 And James. Yeah. yes sir yes sir and james yeah no seven month old baby in human history has sat up and said ugh i don't like this crib can we get a nicer one i hate the wallpaper no baby in human history has ever sat up and said ugh this room is too small i hate the wallpaper. Could we repaint this and create an Instagram-worthy all that? You're going to get $20,000 in the account. You're going to want to get a stroller made by Volvo. You're going to want to do all kinds of extra spending. You're going to have to have incredible discipline to send all that money away.
Starting point is 00:39:00 This is not for anything except health of the baby and health of the mom. That's the only thing the money's for. Otherwise, everything you do for baby has to come out of the budget, and you're going to throw all, 100% of this money towards the debt. That puts us out of the Ramsey Show and the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime,
Starting point is 00:39:20 remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of peace christ jesus Bye.

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