The Ramsey Show - App - What’s YOUR Reason for Getting Out of Debt? (Hour 1)

Episode Date: July 19, 2022

Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Delony discuss: Getting your spouse on board to become debt-free, The best way to negotiate your salary, How to set up a budget, Buying a new home with retirement money. Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6

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888-825-5225. David's going to start us off in Amarillo, Texas. Hi, David. How are you? Pretty good, Dave. How are you today? Better than Dave. How are you today? Better than I deserve. What's up? Well, I have recently remarried about three years ago, and I was very near debt-free,

and my wife, actually, we had to talk to my wife before we got married we weren't going to have any debt except the house. And so anyway, on our first anniversary, I bought her a sleep number bed, which is very expensive, and I charged it. Well, now she likes to spend money like it's made out of water, like there's an endless supply, and I can't get her to sit down with me and create a budget. And I would really like to do the Financial Peace University with her, but I just don't know how to get her to agree to those things. Well, the first thing you don't do is say, Dave Ramsey said, whatever, you've already did it didn't you yes sir yeah you turned me into a cuss word man you you wimp you blamed it on me and the second thing is you can't tell your wife okay this is going into our my new marriage

this is going to be a key priority for us until the first big purchase and then i'm going to go ahead and just uh knock down my own boundary and then get mad at you for for walking through that gate that i opened up you can't do that yeah so i understand what you've got to do is you have to dial back because both of you engaged in childish behavior and we have to both dial back to adult behavior adults devise a plan and follow it children do what feels good and so what you're discussing is the symptom the symptom is overspending the symptom is debt the symptom is a sleep number you financed a bed man a bed you gotta say that out loud oh, so you have to dial back and go. Those are symptoms.

And the problem that caused those symptoms to occur is vision. Lack of it. You do not have a shared vision for your wealth in the future and what your wealth will do for you. It will allow us to travel. It will allow us to buy this. It will allow us to travel it will allow us to buy this it will allow us to be generous in this way and we have to do things to cause that wealth to happen and one of those is avoiding debt going forward and that includes me because i'm a bonehead and i broke my own word here

you got to start with apologizing deeply a deep bow and scrape and uh beg for forgiveness and then say, but the reason I wanted us to do that, even though I screwed it up, was because I believe if we stay out of debt, these are the things that are going to happen. Let's talk about why and where we're going and changing our family tree and retiring with dignity and being in a position to be unbelievably generous and those kinds of big things. Then she can get on board and oh by the way you get a vote and i get a vote we both have a vote and we don't go against that my wife and i were discussing a major purchase this morning before i left home and she wasn't happy about it and i'm really happy about it and uh but later on but later on it got we happy, you know, and so it worked out.

But I wasn't going to go forward with that until we're both in agreement and it fits into our overall plan. Yeah, and I think it's important. Is it a boat or a truck, Dave? Gun or a truck. Could be, yeah, could be. Could be. You sidetracked me.

So here's another thing, a conversation you can have after the vision conversation is being curious with yourself when you're about to buy something, both you and her. The question I always want to ask myself for me, it's eating for me. It is, I want to skip a workout for me. It's, I'm not going to check in with my wife on this. I'm just going to go do it right when I'm about to make a behavior that I know is going to cost me downstream, what's been transformative for me is instead of getting mad, instead of getting frustrated, is stopping and being curious and asking myself, what am I trying to protect myself from? What is this Amazon purchase? What am I trying? Oh, I'm bored. Oh, I had a tiff with my six-year-old and I'm pouting. And so I'm going

to go buy some more, I don't know, fishing line or something stupid that I don't really need. What am I doing this stuff for? And then that's always going to push me back to the vision, right? Which is, oh, we're doing this for this. I'm not going to hit it for this, right? I'm not going to hit purchase. I'm not going to go buy this. I'm not going to buy a $9,000 bed on credit because we have a different vision for our life. But the most asked question since I started this show 30 years ago, how do I get my spouse on board? Yep. And number one answer is don't say Dave Ramsey said because nobody cares what Dave Ramsey said.

It's got to be about us. It's got to be from inside, right? Yeah. Really? I mean, that's not me just being humble or weird or something i mean you know at the end of the day your opinion for your life is you're the only one gets a vote in your life imagine if i don't get a vote in your life if sharon came to you and said dave uh my friend dan says that i should hold your hand more so i'm gonna start doing that that wouldn't mean anything right but if if if my wife comes to me and says hey i i want

to start holding your hand i mean like i thought like i want to get closer to you that means something so you always you number one you don't blame it on me number two there's a whole get out of debt thing here is so that right what's your so that yes it's so that we can be not broke anymore and stressed it's so that we don't ever act like you know we're not we've both talked about your parents are are pitiful yeah we're sad about their financial condition we don't want to be them when we're old it's so that we're going to avoid debt so that we're not them we're going to avoid debt so that we've got a pile of money we send the kids to college without any debt we want to be so. We'd like to open a hospital in our neighborhood and drop $10 million into that.

So that. I don't know what your so that is, but you need a so that because debt in and of itself is not worth it. That's right. I mean, it's good. It's good. Get out of debt. It's a good thing. But the only reason we want you to get out of debt, the reason we teach you to get out of debt, it's so that you get financial peace.

Yes. And so that you can financial peace. Yes. And sleep. So that you can do things. Yes. And you can say, when that kid comes to your door, you don't got to find nickels and pennies. You can buy all the candy, right? You can do those generous things, man. You can completely buy out all the inventory of the Girl Scout.

Wouldn't that be fun? That'd be fun. Just mess with her day. And what would be really great is to have 75 boxes of cookies, and I'll try to explain to my wife, I'm just doing a good thing, hon. Buy a single mom a car. Yeah, exactly. Oh, buy 10 of them a car.

Exactly. You know? I mean, change your life, man. Take that girl in the youth group and pay for her college. But the problem is when we get down into the weeds, it all comes down to a sleep number bed. It becomes a math problem instead of a heart problem. It's a sleep number bed. What? What. What?

What? What? Yeah. I mean, God, I wish I could go back and tell you all the stupid butt stuff I have done with money and bought. Things I have bought that are just hilariously stupid. Sleep number bed wouldn't be on the list. But I've done some hilariously stupid things your memories are meant to be relived not chewed up by the VCR or worn away with time. Converting your old media

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Good. How can we help? So I'm in the middle of negotiating my salary for a new job, and I'm a little bit, don't know how to handle it or how to take it from here. And to give you a little bit of background, uh, I'm in a dead end it job. So I decided to go somewhere else plus get a certification. Um, so my next job I asked for, I currently make 73 base. I asked for 83, but they're not willing to pay more than 75 so how big a company is this it's big big yes financial uh during the financial industry okay

all right well you probably got your number you just need to decide if you want to work there i doubt that they're going to do a bunch of negotiating. I think they've told you what they're going to do. You might get a little bit out of this, but the way to posture and position yourself so you don't harm yourself into a brand-new job, you don't automatically end the honeymoon before it starts, is just switch shoes for a minute.

If you were that supervisor that's interviewing you or that company that's interviewing you why would you give you more money i want it is not a reason okay and i had a magic number in my head that they didn't meet doesn't make them a bad person i was the worst i would have a magic number in my head and it was so, sometimes it was ludicrous. And then the boss would come in and I'd feel like they, and offer me, Hey, here's a job and here's 5,000 less than your magic number. And I would feel that as a loss, like they had taken something from me, right? Yeah. They'd offered me a job. And so you just have to decide, do I want to change my life for $2,000 and a big company that if you go in there and bust it and do great work

and provide value will increase your salary over time in different roles and professional responsibilities, right? So the way I would approach it is I would just ask the hiring supervisor that you're talking to or whatever the phrase is that you use. How could I add more value in this position that would make me more valuable? That would make you guys want to pay me more. I don't want you to give me more money just because I think I deserve it because I breathe air. I'm willing to do things that are moral and reasonable, extra.

I'm willing to add elements to this that make me more valuable to this company. And then what would be the thing I would need to do? Well, you'd need to get this certification. Great. Can we agree that when I get this certification, then it comes with an automatic raise that matches that, and I'll go get the certification. And you can start at the lower position and then go get this certification, then it comes with an automatic raise that matches that, and I'll go get the certification. And you can start at the lower position and then go get the certification six months later

and get your raise, right, or whatever. But you're not asking them to give you something because you're entitled in any way. No, I'm not. I don't feel that way at all. I know. And so make sure you're vocalizing it that way at all i know and so make sure you're vocalizing it that way how can i how can i add value that because i would really like to make 80 but i don't expect you to pay me that or 85 i don't expect you to pay me that unless there's a reason and so i'm asking you what would i need to do to

be worth 85 or 80 or whatever for you guys because i'd really like to get there help me because i'm i'm all about personal growth i'm all about getting better and i'm all about making sure that i make you more than i cost you okay well thank you i appreciate it sure and i think dave you that that wisdom is good because she enters into a conversation that's with not against and she might find out oh man we pay this is a big company and so we pay this band of employee x and y and you're at the top of that range but we're going to move you so you find out actually they're capping the value that they can but so you find out a lot of stuff when it's we're on the same side but when we're across the negotiating table then it's got to be you versus me, right? Well, a negotiation properly done of any kind is not put up your dukes.

That's right. It's not, I'm going to take from you so that I get more. It's not a zero-sum game. In other words, if she brought in an extra million dollars in revenue to that organization, would they gladly give her more money? In a heartbeat. Most of them would, anyway. Some of them are too stupid to do that but most of them most companies small large anything and so it's like we go win together i tell folks around here if you leave the cave kill something and drag it home i will share it with you right you know i'm not going

i'm not greedy i don't but but also not going to pay you you know i had one guy go well you know you need to pay me this because I've got all these degrees. And I'm like, he had more degrees than a thermometer. I mean, it was like, and I'm like, dude, your raise is effective when you are. You know, this is a small business. So all negotiations are how can we get to where we want to be together. Even if you're buying something from somebody. How do you keep, once I sit across the table from somebody, my hackles come up.

Yeah. How do you keep from turning it into a competition? Yeah. Well, the problem is... You're a competitive guy. Oh, yeah. If my deal becomes not beating him, my deal becomes... My win is when I get the deal done.

Okay. Not that I destroy him. Not that I got him to take $5,000 less, but then we shook hands. How did I get the deal done? Because you win because I destroy him. Not that I got him to take $5,000 less, but we should get the deal done. Because you win because I got him. See, if you get into a one-dimensional thing on a negotiation where it's just like a price on, you're buying a car from somebody, and the price is this. And you go, okay, well, I'll give you this. Well, I'll take that.

Well, back, and you go, you know, it's just back and forth until you meet, and then you go, well, we'll split the difference, difference or whatever and you go back and forth with this verbal ping pong back it balls on your side and it balls on my side and every time we get a little bit closer finally someone goes enough this is it that you've reached my point you got my number and you go okay i'm in or i'm not uh or uh but if you can make it about something else yeah you know it's not just the price okay for instance i'm used to you know buy a lot of foreclosures or buy a lot of real estate. And I would tell people in those days, house has been sitting on the market for a while. We will close it this afternoon for cash.

Now that matters. Yes. You lighten their load a little bit. This is just, we're done. You got money tonight to go buy a lobster dinner baby i mean this is today you've been screwing around with this house for six months you're behind on your payments tonight and in return what do i get price a good house yeah i get a how but i get a good price but but the immediacy is a different factor than price right

and so you add other factors into the equation when you're negotiating. And in her case, the factor we're adding in is how can I add value to where you wish that I was here? You're happy that I'm here. What can I do to be the best team player you've ever had on the team? You know, and what does it look like to be as our friend pat lynch and he says the ideal team player andrew is with us andrew is in kansas city hi andrew how are you i'm good thank you for taking the call dave sure what's up yeah um i'm just wondering the question i have is should i sell my house um now there's a lot of things that happened here in the last few years, namely when we, when

I say we, but I bought the house at the time. I was married and I bought it with my wife expecting, you know, a larger family and whatnot. Unfortunately, in the same month we bought it, uh, she asked me for a divorce and, uh, unfortunately, uh, we couldn't work and work the marriage out. And, uh, so now I'm, why would you not sell it? Why would I not sell it? Uh, I don't want to make an emotional decision based off the house, and I want to do it like a smart way. Secondly, But you wouldn't buy this house today in your situation. No.

When was your divorce finalized? Last year. Yeah. I'm finalized? Last year. Yeah. I'm sorry, Andrew. I can hear your heart breaking in front of me. You're still really hurting. And that's kind of clouding, and you don't trust your own judgment. You're not confident anymore in your own judgment.

So I don't think you're making a mistake selling the house. It's just a stupid house. And it sounds to me like it's a part of a future that died, and it's okay to let it go with the death of that dream, with the death of that marriage, and go start fresh somewhere. It'd be good for you to have a new space to be in. John, you think that's right? I'd sell it.

I'd put on the market today. Yeah. I'd be done with it, man. I'm sorry for you. Thanks, Tom. Sorry. This is the Ramsey Show. Hey guys, George Camel here, and I'm so excited to tell you about the newest product from Ramsey. It's called Gazelle, and it's a digital banking experience that will help you spend and save the Ramsey way with banking services provided by PathWord NA. You'll get a single spending account with no monthly fees, and's FDIC insured through Pathword NA. We're offering early access to our beta customers so you can help us make it the best experience it can be. Just go to ramseysolutions.com slash gazelle

to sign up for the waitlist today. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, host of the Dr. John Deloney Show, is my co-host today. You can catch that on podcast, and you should. He talks to folks about mental health every day, boundaries, crazy relatives, crazy personal stuff, all kinds of mental health things. It is just downright enthralling. You need to check it out. It's a lot of fun to listen to. And John's common sense approach to a very difficult subject and his compassion and his straightforward advice is all there.

The Dr. John Deloney Show. Check it out on Ramsey Networks or anywhere you listen to great podcasts. And you'll be able to do that. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage is Bill and Jess. Hi, guys. How are you? Good. How are you?

We're great. You're welcome. Where do you all live? Lake Oregon, Michigan. Okay. Where's that near? Auburn Hills. It's about an hour and 15 minutes north of Detroit. Okay. Cool. Cool. And we're Lake Orion, Michigan. Okay. Where's that near? Auburn Hills.

It's about an hour and 15 minutes north of Detroit. Okay, cool. Yeah. Cool. I know right where you are. Wonderful. Welcome to Nashville. Thanks for having me. And here to do a debt-free scream, how much did you pay off?

Paid off $76,000 in 17 months. Wow. Good for you. And your range of income during that year and a half? We went from $80,000 to $120,000, back, back down to $80, back up to about $140. Okay. Wow. What do you all do for a living?

Jess is a stay-at-home mom, and I'm a robotics engineer. Okay. So why all the gyration? What did you do, take a bunch of jobs, drop them off, and something else happen? More or less, yeah. So $80 was my starting. I started a new position a little bit before we started our debt-free journey and then jumped up because I was working 80 to 100 hours every week

as a field service engineer. So I was gone 80% of the time. A lot of travel. Yeah, and that kind of got burned out a little bit. So I stepped back, took a position that I didn't get any overtime, and in December I started my own business. Oh, wow. Yeah, working for myself now, yeah.

That'll work. And now we can control both the income and the hours. Absolutely. Hardest boss you'll ever have. Yeah, he's a tough old bird, man. That's a mystery. I don't know about that. Just a slave driver.

So what kind of debt was the $76,000? So we had an Ikea credit card for kitchen remodel. We had cell phones. We had a truck loan and student loans. Okay. So how long have you all been married? Eight years. Okay.

Wow. Just celebrated eight years. So what happened that lit this thing on fire 17 months ago? How did you connect up with this Ramsey stuff? Yeah, I'm a Ramsey baby. I grew up on listening to you and Dr. Laura all the time. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, in the car. A couple of truth tellers.

I'm telling you. Yeah, common sense. So, yeah, the reason that we got started because we were just sick and tired of being sick and tired, we finally, We always had these excuses up to recently where, well, I'm in school, we're not making a lot of money. Okay, now we have money, but we have debt to pay off, but we still have all these things that we've wanted over the past five or six years. And at the end of the month, we had more month than we had money. So eventually I was like, okay, we're making more money than we ever have.

What's going on? And we're still broke. And we're still broke, yeah. Yeah, so I was looking for a budgeting app, and at the same time I was looking for a podcast because we were remodeling our kitchen. And I listened to a lot of Joe Rogan, so I got burned out on that and found you. I listened to you as a kid, so I was like, you know,

I wonder if Uncle Dave has a podcast. And sure enough, we also started using the Every Dollar Budget app. Okay, cool. Yeah, to track everything. Cool. So Jesse comes home and he's like, I found this from my childhood. And I think I'm tired of being broke. What did you say?

Well, he's kind of a zero to 100 kind of guy. So I kind of had to back it down a little bit and we had a lot of conversations and we just listened to a lot of the um testimonies ah you were a cuss word for a little bit but yeah we um i don't know we we just had to listen and discuss and really have to get on the same page first so he just kind of came in and went we're going on beans and rice and selling your car. I joined a cult and you were too. And she said, I don't think so.

I like her. This is great. Did you have a picture growing up of what debt-free living looked like, Jess? Or is this all new to you? Well, my parents were actually pretty good with money. So I feel like we're just, I kind of grew up like that too. We're just very goal oriented ever since we met. We were that way. We got married

we were kind of young and we just were like we see what we want and we go and we get it so it wasn't that far off but it sounded like a good idea. I wasn't against it but it took some convincing a little bit. All the things he was interested in. But you guys paid off a lot of money in a short period of time.

In a year and a half with three little ones. Tell us about that. Yeah, a lot of travel, like I was saying before. So, yeah, I mean, being a stay-at-home mom with three kids by yourself for a couple weeks at a time is... She was a single mom. She can attest to that. Oh, absolutely, yeah, definitely.

Yeah. We had just had our middle child when we decided to do this. So we had a newborn in a kitchen remodel and he was gone. And it's an Ikea one. Try to put those things together. Right. Right. We still are.

Yeah. Of course. You're a robotics engineer and you don't know how the cabinets go together. Kitchen looks great. Kitchen looks great. Yeah, of course. You did a good job. But yeah, then we decided to have another baby again.

They're 13 months apart. Okay. Yeah, that's... We had two babies while paying debt off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been a wild ride. You guys have been, yeah, zero to 100 for sure. Wow.

Well, congratulations, y'all. Thank you. Congratulations. Okay, when you look back on it, you say, all right, what's the key to getting out of debt? Communication, definitely, and just keep going. Don't stop. Not only the same page, but the same pace. Right, right.

Yeah, like I've said before, you know, it's better for both people to go seven out of ten as opposed to one person going ten and one going zero because it just doesn't work yeah communication I think looking at the bigger picture I think that money is just a way to count score but the things that this will change along the journey especially with like our marriage and with money we were not on the same page before we thought we were but we just didn't really talk about it you know there were some trust things on my side going on. I think doing this together and seeing that goal at the end, it changes everything.

It's not just about your bank account and what you owe. Way to go, you guys. That's exciting. Y'all are so cool. I'm so proud of you. Thank you. How does it feel to be free? I feel like it hasn't hit me yet. No, me neither.

You'll get there quick. Yes, it's going to be free? I feel like it hasn't hit me yet. No, me neither. You'll get there quick. You'll get there quick. It's going to be wonderful. One question I've got before we go, totally tangential. I don't even know if that's how you pronounce that. Are the robots going to come get us? Is Terminator 2 real? Are they coming for us?

I'm not sure yet. That means yes. I knew it. I knew it. Don't feed his conspiracy side. Please don't feed it. I'll let you know, though. Hey, will you holler at us? I'll give. I knew it. Don't feed his conspiracy side. Please don't feed it. I'll let you know, though. Hey, will you holler at us?

I'll give you a heads up. Give us a heads up. Let us know. Put us on the list of people you've got. Put us on the list. Good job, you guys. We've got a copy of Baby Steps Millionaires for you. That's the next chapter in your story.

You guys have changed your family tree with all these beautiful youngsters. Very, very well done. Thank you. Copy a total money makeover for you to give away to someone you've inspired. And, of course, Financial Peace University, a 12-month membership to that with the brand-new videos that include Dr. John Deloney, George Camel, and Rachel Cruz in them. Look at those beautiful kiddos. What are their names and ages? So this is Mabel.

She's four. This is Daisy. She's a year and a half. And Hattie is seven months. Ah, yeah, you are totally outnumbered, brother. That's good. Congratulations, you guys. Our dog's female, too.

Thank you. We're so proud of y'all. Well done. All right, Bill and Jess and Mabel and Daisy and Hattie, Lake Orion, Michigan. You did it, man! $76,000 paid off in 17 months, making $80,000 to $120,000 to $80,000 to now self-employed at $140,000. Count it down! Let's hear a debt-free scream!

Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Yeah! Beautiful. Way to go! Those little kids have no idea the price their mom and dad paid. Mom at home with three tiny little babies in a kitchen under construction. Dad gone, gone, gone, working, working, working, working to get their family tree changed.

Powerful. That's real adults right there. You pay a price. You serve your family. That's right. You win. And everybody was serving, right? Everybody was serving.

Everybody. And those three little girls are not going to even understand that stress. Man, they'll never have it. They'll never have that same feeling. And it's over. And one thing about going through that is he'll make sure they're trained. Well, he's going to be making sure they can deal the robot invasion coming. He can focus his energy on that, which is man that's why john's here this is the ramsey show Thank you for joining us, America.

We're glad you're here. Our Wealth Building live event tour is completely blowing up, blowing out. Yesterday, we announced we're completely sold out for our Phoenix show on September 13th. We were able to add a second show in Phoenix, and so we'll be there on Monday, September the 12th as well. Sacramento, Minneapolis, and San Antonio aren't far behind. They're all in the 90 percentile on sold out, meaning that there's probably a couple of weeks worth of supply of tickets still. If you don't get your tickets soon, they're going to be gone, and we're not adding new nights to those cities because we can't get venues.

So when those are sold out, they're just, like, gone. So these are hot tickets. It's me, Rachel Cruz, George Campbell, Dr. John Deloney, Ken Coleman. We're all going to be there. We're going to talk about the crazy things going on in the world of money and what's happening about building wealth out there. And we're going to answer questions. We'll have a panel discussion.

We're going to be signing books and taking pictures and all kinds of stuff. So make sure you come out. Again, Phoenix, September 12th, just added. September 13th, sold out. Sacramento, almost gone. Minneapolis, almost gone. November 1 and 10. November 15, we're going to be one a week through the month. November 1 and 10. November 15.

We're going to be one a week through the month of November. San Antonio is November 15. So tickets are only $25. You can get a four-pack for $60. Bring some of your friends with you. It's less than the cost of a dadgum pizza. So RamseySolutions.com slash events. Get your tickets.

We want to have you there. It's going to be a lot of fun. These things are a blast we at remsey love getting out in all the different communities and hanging out with you guys and meeting people and it's just fun for us and it's obviously fun for you guys each of these events are 3 000 or so folks and they're just about all gone so we love appreciate that thank you very much for that phoenix uh richard's with us in Columbia, South Carolina. Hi, Richard. How are you? I'm doing great, Dave. Good afternoon, Dave and Ken.

I've been a long-time listener since 2012, and I've tried several different times. Yesterday was one of those. I ran short of second in line and had 8% on my phone, and I had to get back with Austin and say I couldn't make the phone call. So I look forward to today. I'm glad it worked out. We got rid of Ken, though. That was yesterday. I'm John today.

You'll have to go with the B team today. So what's up, man? No, no, no. My big question is what is the best way to set a budget? A retired military member after 24 years divorced, remarried, and now I just sold my house and paid down all my portion of the debt.

My wife and I have a house that we need to pay off and only an auto loan. Everything else, zero credit card debt and just the home and the auto but just trying to set up a budget we not only have that but we are also entrepreneurs my wife owns a restaurant she owns a hair braiding shop she we're both real estate agents and i'm a life insurance agent we have a rental event business y'all need something something to do. You're bored to death. We're bored. I'm constantly moving. The way you lay out a budget is, number one, when you're married,

you have to do it together. You both have a vote, and when we're done, we have to be in agreement, and when we're done, we have to pinky swear and spit shake that we're going to stick to this plan that we laid out. All a budget is is a spending plan. That's all it is. And so what you're going to do is at the beginning of each month, you're going to try to figure out as best as you can for that particular month what your income is going to be. Now, you've got a lot of variable incomes in this deal, so it's going to be a little hard to hit it perfectly,

but usually 30 days out, you kind of know the restaurant's going to do this. I've got this closing. I don't have anything in the pipeline to close real estate. I've got this or that. I normally make X in insurance, whatever it is, and you put those numbers down. You say, okay, this is our income for the month and then you spend that income on paper on purpose before the month begins and agree on it with your spouse every one of your dollars

of income each month brand new month brand new list has an assignment and we're going to buy food we're going to pay lights we're going to pay that house payment that car payment we're going to pay extra on that car whatever it is we're going to do with the money every one of these dollars down through here we're going to set aside this much money for electricity we're going to set this much money for the water bill we're going to set aside every dollar has a name an assignment a mission and then you look at it together and you go well i don't really think we should spend that much on that, or I think that's going to cost more than that.

No, we can't live on $100 worth of food, honey. You're going to have to raise that one. And so the two of you together make the adjustments, but it still equals zero at the bottom. Your income minus these assignments equals exactly zero. Now you have planned your money for the month, and then you stick to that plan. And if you can't stick to that plan,

you have to have an emergency budget committee meeting, and the two of you have to sit down and adjust the plan mid-month because something's messed up. The first three months you do this, you will suck at it. You'll get a little bit better each month. The first month will be an unmitigated disaster usually. But that doesn't mean you give up. It just means you don't know how to do this you will suck at it you'll get a little bit better each month the first month will be a unmitigated disaster usually but that doesn't mean you give up it just means you don't know how to do this yet and you're figuring it out you're practicing you're learning then the two of you work together to build a plan or adjust your plan build a plan adjust a plan build a plan

adjust a plan and you'll eventually get really really good at it i've been doing it for 30 something years with my wife and it's it's a second nature i mean we can do it in you know like less than two minutes it's not much to it number one we don't have any bills that's helpful but uh that makes it go real fast but yeah so so we have to have other issues you put that out there we don't have any pills i mean it makes it if you're listed in very long you know it's an easy list right so yeah that's the thing and jump online richard and get the every dollar app and uh you did mention you paid off all your debt but like your wife didn't have debt or had debt or something no that's not how this works when you're married whatever debt she

has is yours whatever debt you had is yours we are married and so we are operating as a team and the people that win with money operate as a unit as a couple not uh not not like roommates and so get on the same page we're going to completely clean this whole thing up for both of you and then we're going to completely build wealth for both of you the every EveryDollar app is free to use. Just jump online and start using it. And you're going to find in this new marriage that doing these things together is going to create a common vision and a common language, and your marriage is going to get better, and your parenting is going to get better. And then you can take these lessons and apply them to all 411 of your businesses, and you're

going to see those things tighten up and clean up too. It's awesome, man. Yep. Good for you. Rick is with us in Tampa. Hi, Rick. How are you? Dave, Dr. John, thank you for taking my call.

I really needed your insight and advice on an issue that I'm struggling with emotionally as well. Here's my situation, fellas. I'm 64. I've been retired for seven years now. I'm divorced as of three years ago. I have never taken a penny out of my retirement until my divorce when, of course, my ex-wife was owed some, and that was just, you know, transfer of funds. I live on $71,000 a year as comprised of a pension and Social Security, and I live quite comfortably on it. I live on $71,000 a year as comprised of a pension and Social Security. And I live quite comfortably on it.

I live a fairly simple life. I am debt-free. I don't owe anyone anything. How much is in this nest egg, then? Well, after the dust settled three years ago, I have $ 835,000 in retirement. I have 51,000 non-qualified in brokerage. I keep about 15,000 in the local bank here. And my present home worth about 400,000. Here's my dilemma. You know, I struggle with, you know,

when am I going to start to enjoy some of the fruits of my labor? I'm pretty careful with my money. I am careful with it. Yeah, you've done a great job. Yeah, well, thank you. You're a millionaire, man. You started from nothing. You did great.

Touchdown. You won the Super Bowl. Well, thank you. You're a millionaire after a divorce. You did great. Touchdown. You won the Super Bowl. Well, thank you. You're a millionaire after a divorce. That's incredible. Yeah, well, and I did it with some limitations that I won't get into, some physical limitations. But actually, they're there. But what I'm looking to do, what I'm struggling with, I'm thinking I want to move up in the house.

And when I say move up, just change location, get a little closer to a beach. How much would you spend? Well, in the neighborhood of $700, maybe $650 to $700. Okay, and you'd have a half a million left over if you sold your house. So if you buy a $600,000 house, you sell a $400,000 house, you pull $200,000 out of $800,000 or $300,000 out of $800,000, you're going to have a half a million left over. In seven years when you're 70, you said you're 64, when you're 71, you'll have a million dollars in cash

in that one account still. So yes, you should move up and you should pay cash for it and you should sell the one you're in. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, it's John Deloney, co-host of The Ramsey Show. Did you know over 18 million people listen to The Ramsey Show every week?

A lot of those people listen on one of our 600-plus radio stations across the country. To find a station near you, go to RamseySolutions.com slash show.