The Ramsey Show - App - When Is It Time to Upgrade My Car? (Hour 3)

Episode Date: March 22, 2022

Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Delony discuss: When it's time to upgrade the car, Avoiding a future toxic marraige, Making large business purchases with a debit card, How to get out of a car lease. Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloney. Ramsey Personality is my co-host today. Open phones as we talk about your relationships, your mental wellness, your boundaries, your job, your career, and your money. We talk about all of it right here. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Ian is going to start us off in Guam. Hi, Ian. How are you? Good morning, gentlemen. Half a day.

I'm doing well. I was hoping that you and Jonathan helped me today answering this question. Currently in Davis at 46, we have a paid-off car. Our family is growing. I'm trying to find out how do we upgrade a vehicle without going back into debt, and especially with this time, but how do we do that? Well, I think you know you have to save the money. Yes.

So how do you save the money? I mean, what is your income? Currently about $90,000. That's good. So what is you save the money? I mean, what is your income? Currently about $90,000. That's good. So what is your current car worth? It's estimated between $11,000 to $15,000 trade-in. $11,000 to $15,000 is a pretty good range. So we probably can get $15,000 in this current world that we live in.

Okay, so let's call it $15,000. What are you upgrading to? What kind of price range car would you buy? So upgrading from a corolla to hopefully a full-size suv uh just the amount of stuff that we have uh we're traveling the rest of the year doing travel nursing so um we're trying to go back this how much money uh currently save that no How much will the SUV cost? About $25,000 to $35,000. That's our range. Our budget is $25,000

to $35,000. You don't have a budget. You don't have any money. You have a budget once you've got money, right? Yes. Okay. Well, let's call it $25,000. If you sell yours for $15,000 and you're going to buy an SUV for $25,000, you need $ money, right? Yes. Okay, well, let's call it 25. If you sell yours for 15 and you're going to buy an SUV for 25, you need 10. You make 90.

How long does it take to get 10 when you make 90? Pretty quick. Okay. That's how you do it. Okay. I mean, that was like some Penn & Teller style magic right there, dude. So, brother, where are you getting stuck? That seems, yeah.

Yeah, I know. I know it sounds pretty silly. No, no, no. I'm with you, man. I've gotten stuck, too. Just where are you stuck? What's messing with you? You got car fever for a car you can't afford? Do you want to go buy it today?

Is that what's messing with you? You got car fever for a car you can't afford? Do you want to go buy it today? Is that what's messing with you? No, it's just that our car is all the way on the other side in Maryland, and we're trying to go, you know, closer to, like, Washington or Hawaii. But my dilemma is we have to, you know, one of us will have to go in and trade it in, or we can do it online, and it's just a hassle of should we do it online or should we just go back in person and trade it in, because that's just, you know, a headache for us as far as trying to upgrade and using a vehicle.

Okay, you don't have a vehicle in Guam, right? Correct. Sorry, what was that? You don't have a car in Guam, right? We're renting a car. Okay. And that's our issue. You're military, I'm guessing. No, what was that? You don't have a car in Guam, right? We're renting a car. Okay. And that's our issue. You're military, I'm guessing. No, travel nursing.

Travel nursing. Okay, so you're renting a car in Guam. How long are you going to stay in Guam? Until July. Okay. And so getting a car in Guam is going to cause a problem because you're going to turn around and get rid of it, right? Or you're going to have to ship it somewhere. Yes, and that's another issue that won't it's not i'm not sure if we should keep paying renting a car if we're

when we move back to the states or we should just get our car that we have paid off where are you going in july uh it's up in the air right now because it goes contract by contract so we can decide where we want to go so we're hoping either washington or hawaii one of those two somewhere but it's like i said it's up in the air it's just we don't want to pay rental we don't want to rent a car moving a car from guam to hawaii would cost more than the stupid car yeah so we're not doing that right so you're not going to buy a car that you're going to keep for very long. If you buy a car in Guam, you're going to turn right around and sell it in July. And if you wait until July, somebody's going to have a couple of three annoying days because one of you is going to fly out to the East Coast and deal with the car,

buy a new one because you're going to have cash by then. You know what I would do? I'd keep my life real clean and real simple. you guys are making bank right now because you're doing travel nursing you're making you said you're making 90 is that all the making between the two of you um no just just my wife right now oh okay what do you do uh i'm a financial coach with the ramsay actually but um so that's my i-at-home, and I do my financial coaching. Okay. All right.

You need to get on a plane and go to Maryland and sell your car. Okay. And then when you get back with the money, you can decide whether to buy a car in Guam that you're going to sell in July or whether to rent from now until July. And then when you land in Hawaii or Washington, then you buy a car. Got it. Yeah, that's my plan.

It just took me a minute to catch up with what was still getting you. It's a long weekend. It's an annoying weekend of three days. Just get on the plane and go sell your car. There's people who want to buy cars like crazy right now. There's a shortage. You can sell it in 20 minutes. Just put it on Craigslist or Trader.com or something

and go ahead and get three buyers lined up to look at it right after you land at the airport drive over to where it's sitting meet them there make sure the battery some one of your friends went by and charged the battery and shined the tires and um sell the stupid thing get back on plane go back home with a pocket full of cash or have a friend who you trust that you left the car with have them get it detailed and then have them sell it and tell me give them 500 bucks of the sale yeah be done yeah you have them for taking care of it for you give them give them a gift card to the steakhouse i don't care whatever but yeah it's just uh what's called what's happening here it's not really a car problem it's that you all aren't

you haven't you don't know where you're gonna be and once you know where you're gonna be it's gonna clear up all this but you know you're not gonna be in guam past july so you know where you're going to be, it's going to clear up all this. But you know you're not going to be in Guam past July. So, you know, I'm not sure you buy a car there. I think you probably, it's only a couple months. Let's just keep renting it. I wouldn't screw with it. But I'd go ahead and get that other one sold because you're not going to use it either. It's just sitting over there.

Put the money in your pocket and buy a car when you land. Yeah, that's what I am going to do. I'm going to go ahead and take it one step further. Don't buy a car in Guam. Nope, absolutely not. Go to the States. Sell your car or have your friend do it for you. One the two like john said and um rent until july and then when you decide when you move to the next place go buy a car with cash all right let's let's i

want to walk through this real quick okay uh we got time before we go to break lots of variables lots of moving parts that can be paralyzing it It feels chaotic in our heads, and so we just go, you're talking to a coach, right? This is what he does for a living. He helps other people. It just feels like a lot. And what you just did in quick form is, all right, let's put all these variables down.

What can I control? I can sell that car. I'm going to get on a plane. It's going to cost me some money. I'm going to go sell that car. Number two, I'm not going to buy a car until I know where I'm going. Number three, where we're going is unknown. Cool, I'm just going to sit with a pile of cash.

And that's what I can control in this thing, and then the dust clears. And let me just tell you, the stuck part, the anxious part, the stress of all this, as soon as you have your little game plan laid out, evaporates. Goes away. Evaporates. The ambivalence, the not knowing will kill you. Yes. You have to get a clear path, start checking

boxes, start walking down the checklist before you take the airplane off into the air. It's every pilot does that. This is The Ramsey Show. Folks, listen up. I know some of y'all are putting off getting life insurance because rates went up, restrictions were added due to COVID. But it doesn't change your responsibility to take care of your family. Lucky for you, insurance companies are lowering their rates again, and there are more options than ever to let you skip the medical exam.

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It really is time to get green. The pollen is out. The hay fever is kicking in. That can only mean one thing. Real estate sales are getting ready to get even hotter. Winter breaks out. Spring starts to come in. How?

I don't know how you could get hotter than it has been, but I think it's going to. It's going to be. I mean, people are back at it, man. And listen, if you don't want to make, listen, you make a mistake buying dentine gum, you can survive that mistake. You don't want to make a mistake buying a house, selling house that could be a hundred thousand dollar two hundred thousand dollar mistake don't buy something you don't understand do you know where you start you are are you sure you're financially ready for a mortgage are you confused about how the buying process works start by connecting with an endorsed local provider these are agents i trust. They are Ramsey trusted. Our ELPs will help guide you

through the entire home buying or home selling process. They're here to teach you every step of the way so you feel confident in this big money decision. Go to RamseySolutions.com slash agent, and you can connect with one of our Ramsey-trusted endorsed local provider agents. RamseySolutions.com slash agent. Shailen is in Saskatchewan. Hi, Shailen. How are you? Good. How are you?

Better than I deserve. What's up? My husband and I own a small construction business, and we are often making large material purchases upwards of $10,000. So how do we do this without using credit cards? We're debt-free personally with our business, but we use a credit card to make business purchases online and over the phone. And we don't have a problem with paying it off, but we want to

get away from credit cards. So what debit cards do you recommend for a large online business purchase? You'll have to customize your debit card with your local bank the way we have, because a large singular purchase won't fly with most debit cards unless you've got it set up most of them have pretty stringent daily limits and single purchase limits and uh so but you can have that customized like you know i don't walk around with a debit card that's not this limits me to a thousand bucks i mean i i may buy something expensive because i've got the money and And so, obviously, the relationship I have with the bank allows me to do that. And you've got to do that with a good local bank and set your debit card up.

And then, obviously, you have to build up the business savings. It's called retained earnings to be able to cash flow this on behalf of your clients until you get the money back from them. Obviously, when you're ordering something, you're passing that cost on to your customer, and you're getting the money back as they pay a draw on the construction or as they pay for the construction project being completed, one of the two, right? Yeah. Yeah. So it's a 30-day thing maybe.

And so you need to prime the pump one time if you had twenty thousand dollars cash sitting in your business checking account it just rolled over all the time it would drain down some and then it would come back up when you got paid and then it would drain down some and then it would come back up when you get paid you just set a limit i don't go below fifteen thousand dollars cash in my business retained earnings because i need that much to cash flow these purchases and so on and so yeah it may take you a little while to get there uh the other thing we did because we didn't have the money to to cover it in the early days like that if we were purchasing

something here like uh let's say we go and buy um in the old days maybe we buy 10 000 copies of a book that we're getting ready to sell and then we ship those books out to bookstores, and we ship them out through the distributors, and it may be two, three months before we get paid on those. And so what we had to do was just go ahead and, you know, build the money up to pay for the order, period. And then when the money came back in off of the sale of those books, we uh as if it was all free money you know because we didn't have anything we won we didn't have anything owed against it you know it was a 100 check right we'd already paid for the cost of goods sold i already paid for the materials i've done a few home projects over the years where the builder comes and says here's what your material

costs are going to be to get out the door to get started and they required that up front up front yeah and so i actually gave them the money that way i'm not going to walk and they required that up front. And so I actually gave them the money. That way I'm not going to walk. And I've heard horror stories about that where a GC can walk off with your prepayment. But I like that option too. Yeah, change your terms. That's what I was leading to was on the books. If somebody wanted an unusually large order that we couldn't cash flow,

we just had to require a deposit of 50% up front. And that pays for the books. And that actually paid for more than the books. It paid for some more because we don't have 50 in them so our cost of goods sold is not that high and so we had to change the terms of working with our customer but i love that what you said about if you get 20 or 30 000 bucks in your account you become your own bank yep and i love that way of operating yeah and it's just it's real clean i'll tell you the other thing it's weird is it it changes what you're buying and how you're buying it because it's like real money when you're doing it with debt it doesn't feel like it's real money but

when you're pulling your money out of your checking account to make this purchase you're like you have this moment where you just make sure it's all right you measure to the fence post yeah yeah and you don't think about that when you're just slapping a plastic down we get take every later just get it let's get it we gotta get this going we gotta get it you get sloppier when you're using borrowed money less less wise uh catalina is with us in new york city hi catalina how are you i am great How are you guys feeling? Better than we deserve. What's up? I'm so excited to talk to you guys. So I am just, myself and my husband, we're just starting now to try to pay off some debt, right? And I've just

started listening to your radio show about a month ago. And I have a lease, which I know was a stupid idea. And I'm about halfway through my three-year lease. And I'm wondering if I should buy it out or continue until I'm done. And then, because if I buy it out, it's not going to be in cash. It would be to finance it. Or should I just wait until the lease term is done? Yeah. And then. There's no reason to buy it out with financing. That doesn't serve any purpose. Right, okay. And so run it out until the lease term is done, turn the car in,

make sure you're not over on your miles and you don't have excessive wear and tear so they don't ding you again at the turn in. And also make sure you have the money saved up to buy you a little car of some kind. Mm-hmm. So you don't plan on financing a car when you turn this in you got to break this cycle right right okay that's the big thing so you got 18 months to get that ready we'd be debt-free except this when you do they in within 18 months no no no we're just starting with our debt-free journey so we've we've just paid off all plastic so there's no more plastic good way to go that felt weird didn't it but yeah but there's

still like there's one personal loan there's one um student loan and there's our mortgage so not counting your but not counting your mortgage will you be done in 18 months uh probably not i think it's going to take a little longer okay all right well that'd be cool i mean if you happen to get there and then when you turn the car in that was one of the last few things that happened to make you debt-free except the mortgage then that'd be a cool thing but again you've got to plan for the turning into the car uh make sure you're not overrunning the miles make sure you're not doing excessive wear and tear uh so you don't get an extra check you have to write when you turn the car in um and then the uh and

make sure you've saved up some money to get a little car of some kind and plan for the second thing too so dave like plan for the money part i would almost guarantee that the car you're leasing is going to be nicer than the car you're going to be able to buy prepare yourself for that it often is like i'm i'm leasing this cool lexus or this brand new whatever and now i'm going to buy i'm going to buy the previous caller for another hour i'm going to buy their uh used corolla from massachusetts right prepare yourself for that it's part of their journey here and it's going to feel like you lost something you're not you're winning no you're actually now admitting what you really can afford. There you go.

Instead of acting like you can afford more than you can, which is what debt does for you. It's a form of pretending. Aiden is in Pueblo, Colorado. Hi, Aiden. How are you? I'm doing well. How are you, Dave? Doing better than I deserve.

Hey, I goofed, man. I brought you up right 30 seconds before a commercial, so I'm going to put you back on hold. We're going to come back to you after the break or as soon as we can. Is there a debt-free after the break? Okay. Going to come back to you after this next segment, Aiden. So you've got to hold a little bit longer. I apologize.

I wasn't watching the clock. Goofy, bad talk radio stuff here. This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Grand Rapids, Michigan. Reese and Courtney are on the line line it says on my screen you guys are debt free congratulations hey thank you dave yeah welcome how much did you pay off uh we paid off uh 77 231 dollars how long did this take yeah over, over a span of 18 months. 18 months. Good. And your range of income during that time?

We started at around $64,000, and our kind of peak income was around $102,000. Good. What do you guys do for a living? I work for a small computer repair shop, and Courtney works for the state of Michigan Health Department. Cool. What kind of debt was your $77,000? It was a little bit of everything. Main thing being student loans.

We also had a car loan, a couple of car loans in there, and credit cards. Yeah. Wow. Way to go, man. So how long have you all been married? For just under two years. Yeah, it'll be June. June will be two years.

Okay, so you get married, come home from the honeymoon, and looked at $77,000 and went, uh-oh, this is grown-up land. We've got to kill this. What happened? Tell me the story. Yeah, so we saw the debt. We had goals as a couple, and part of our marriage goal was to pay that all off. But the first, I'd say probably about six or seven months or so, we weren't like super serious about getting after that debt. It wasn't

until I got kind of plugged back into your show and started listening more to the advice and everything else. And I was like, okay, no, there's, there's a plan. This is, this is doable. And we got really serious about it. So we were doing, you know, just one job a piece for a little while. And then once you're like, oh, let's see if we can really go after this. And that's when we both picked up multiple jobs, started, you know, doing whatever we could to just increase our shovel as big as we could. And that really, like, the amount of improvement we saw over the last, the tail end of that 18 months was so much greater than the first part there.

So, Courtney, your new husband starts listening to this crazy guy on the radio, and he comes up with this crazy idea that we need to sacrifice like crazy and get out of debt. What did you think? Do you think he lost his mind? No, not at all. I, gosh, was a bit of a minimalist even before we were married, just trying to do what I can to make that student loan less. I have my master's degree,

which is where a lot of my student loan came from is, you know, six years of education. So I'm trying to make that as small as I can. And it was just encouraging to see Reese come in and just have that fire. Like I think brought a lot of the momentum for us. Yeah, we're going to do this, but now we did it like really seriously and come back on our budget. And so I think it was just the momentum that kind of made that duration to pay it off a little bit shorter. Yeah, that's amazing. Well done. What's your master's in?

Public health. All right. Yeah, it's fitting, right? Y'all had a boring few years, yeah. It was a good time to have it. I finished in 2019, and then pandemic hit, and that's kind of what was the open door to step into. And congratulations. It'll all be downhill from here so congratulations hopefully pretty cool guys what do you tell people the key to getting out of that is

um for me i'd say it's you know just finding a plan and sticking to it so we were very thankful to have uh have your your plan the baby steps and everything else um and just having that once that was in place it was just okay we'll we reference this we stick to this and then no matter we know that no matter how hard it gets or how like any complications come along it's like okay we know that the plan works we're gonna we're just gonna stick to it and it came it came through us, so that was a big deal there. Who were your biggest cheerleaders outside the two of you? So we had, thankfully, plenty of people encouraging us

and helping us out along this way. Kind of the ones who stand out the most are my parents. We have some good friends, Kristen and Kyle, and our Aunt Linda. I also, even though they weren't a part of this particular process, I want to also give a quick shout out to my original Financial Peace University leaders, Mike and Kathy. They put the spark in me five years ago, and then since then, I was able to ignite that fire for getting through this debt here. So definitely had lots of people. Those are just the tip of the iceberg really when it comes to who were helping us out.

For sure. What was the best disagreement y'all had? Oh, that's a good question. I think if anything it's just now just trying to figure out like, all right, now that debt's paid off, like what's the next big step? How do we spend all this money that's ours, right? Yeah. For sure. Exciting news, they're expecting a baby in September. Congratulations.

Thank you. Thank you. Trying to figure out what the next goal is. So, you know, saving up for a house or saving up for a baby or whatever it might be. So I think that's the most, I don't know, relevant thing for right now. What's the next step? And we're so thankful that we don't have a mountain of debt to worry about in this process. So like we're secure in knowing that and knowing that whatever money we have is money that we get to put into our future.

Yeah, it changes everything. Way to go, you guys. Very, very well done. Very proud of you. Good work. Good work. We've got a copy of Baby Steps Millionaires for you, how ordinary people built extraordinary wealth, how you can too. We want you to finish the Baby Steps, become millionaires in the process, and that's the next chapter in your story, okay?

Absolutely. And a copy of Total Money Makeover for you to give away to someone and get them stirred up as well. So very well done, you two. Very well done. Reese and Courtney, Grand Rapids, Michigan, $77,000 paid off in 18 months, making $64,000 to $102,000. Count it down.

Let's hear a debt-free scream all right three two one that's how it's done boys and girls reese and courtney way to go. Man, that's it. Beautiful job. Well done, well done. All right, as promised, I'm going to try to get Aiden in here from Pueblo, Colorado. Hi, Aiden. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Right on. Thank you for having me, Dave.

Sure. I'm not going to psych you out this time. What's up? How can we help? Well, so just a little quick, you know, I don't want to make it too long-winded here, but the high school that I graduated at, I'm 23 years old. I'm married, and the high school that we went to, it made us take baby steps to graduate. We actually had to take your whole course and go through the thing, and so we come out of high school with pretty good idea stuff,

and we've had some fairly good success in the industries that we're in and i've got a handful of money to invest um and i had a you know i've had some questions on how to how to get it invested okay how much money a hundred thousand dollars at 23 years old yes sir well done wow way to go man mic Good job, man. Where'd you get that money? Well, we grew up in a real small town, and I didn't buy cars. I mean, I still drive old, crappy cars and stuff, and we found a little property to buy that me and my wife wanted to buy, and we bought it. And then we had an industry, a massive industry boom right in our little town. No one could have expected it, and we turned the house for quite a profit. And then right after that, I got into the real estate industry, and so I'm a real estate licensee here in the state of Colorado, and she's in a pretty specialized

commercial beekeeping industry, and we just put a bunch of money back. You know, with all of your stuff, the whole, you know. So do you own the home you live in? No. So I actually rent a home, but we're on a river bottom ranch, and I run cattle on this ranch that pays for the house. So we don't make a lot of money on the cows, but they keep the house free, essentially. Okay. So do you want to buy a home?

I would like to buy a home but i would like to invest uh we live in kind of a funny area right now and we kind of want to see what the way things are going to go or if we want to stay in colorado or what but okay well i only put money in two things and i don't tell people to do otherwise uh you can certainly put money in whatever you want but i buy good growth stock mutual funds and i buy real estate that I pay cash for. Those are the two investments I do. In your situation, I think you just dump this into some mutual funds. Click SmartVestor. Find the SmartVestor Pro in your area at RamseySolutions.com. The person we recommend for investing and sit down with them, tell what your goals are and they'll help you place that money into the into some good mutual funds with some safety and you can access it anytime

you need to later for the next thing you're going to do with it this is the Ramsey Show Thank you. our scripture of the day proverbs 3 3 let love and faithfulness never leave you bind them around your neck write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. William Arthur Ward said, When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves. Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com. They have a 100% satisfaction guarantee. That means even if you mismeasure, you pick the wrong color, they'll remake your blinds for free.

Free samples, free shipping, and with the new promos they run every month, you'll save even more. Use the promo code RAMSY to get the best possible deal. Today's question comes from Cheyanna in Tennessee. Cheyenne writes, my boyfriend and I are going to be engaged soon. He knows and agrees with my dreams of being a stay-at-home mom and homeschooling our children, but he thinks I should sacrifice more for our future marriage. All right. This sacrificing talk is based on him trying to get me to move across the country so he can go to school and pursue a career. He had never talked about moving until recently, and he's beginning to shame me and even called me selfish.

I was raised believing it's the man's job to leave and cleave and provide for the family. At what point does the woman need to sacrifice, if at all? Good Lord. You should not get engaged soon. Yeah. Neither one of you are ready for marriage. No, not at all, even close. And you're conflating a little bit of Scripture

and a little bit of folk wisdom and a little bit of what you want to do and a little bit of what he wants to do in a little bit of 10 years from now and a little bit. This is a mess. You got to pull this sucker apart, man. But at the end of the day, the idea of being a stay-at-home mom and homeschooling and somebody saying that's not enough, you need to do better,

that's one conversation. Sacrificing like, hey, i got a job right out of school and this is we're gonna have to live in this part of the country for a little while and we're gonna work hard that's like another conversation and then the shaming each other is another conversation and then this it's a man's job to that's another conversation that y'all need to have before you do any talk at what woman does at what point does the woman need to sacrifice if at all oh that's a 10 year old 12 year old emotional question right that's a little baby question right there and hey i know you want to be a stay-at-home mom and homeschooling um but you're

just gonna have to sacrifice that's a 11 year old response that's man this whole thing is just you guys are no please don't get married no no you're gonna kill each other i mean you know you got you guys got some work to do that's pretty serious but it'd be fun to talk about a couple of these things for the heck of it yeah pick some we're kind of outside kind of outside the um the uh of outside the context of her actual situation, which we've just pretty well didn't give the answer she wanted. So at what point does the woman need to sacrifice, if at all? I don't know where you get this idea that both of you don't sacrifice

for the rest of your lives. You serve one another. It's a race to the bottom. The Bible says submit yourselves one to another. Yeah. And so if you're going to be selfish and sit over here like a little princess on a little throne and say the woman doesn't have to sacrifice. The man is supposed to work and bring me stuff. And, you know, this is just not marriage material and that's

really what that sounded like when i heard it yeah but i read it i went after him thinking i'm gonna go after him too i'm not done yeah this idea of sacrifice it should be a race so who can raise the other one to the bottom how can i out serve if you do that if you live like that and she lives like that your marriage will be the greatest of can i out serve if you do that if you live like that and she lives like that your marriage will be the greatest of anyone you know yeah and you're going exactly the opposite direction both of you what's the least amount i can do and get by with the rules so listen if if your daughter shyanna comes to you in 15 or 20 years hopefully 20 plus years from today the daughter that you don't yet have um comes to you and she's 20 years, hopefully 20 plus years from today, the daughter that you don't yet have,

comes to you and she's 20 years old and says her soon-to-be fiancé is shaming her, what would you tell her? I don't know what I would tell one of my daughters. Run. Right. And what's his address? I know some guys. Yeah.

I can help him with his shaming. That's right. So we have a hillbilly answer for that. But, yeah. shaming that's right so um we have a hillbilly answer for that but yeah but the uh um you know he's shaming you and you think that's and then you and we're about to be engaged soon and this is how he handles our conflicts right you know because he's a little boy and he's throwing a little fit on the cereal aisle and says well you should just do whatever i want to do because i'm the man and i'm like well you're not a man, though.

You're a little boy in a man's body. And the way – so we were living in Texas. I lived there my whole life. And then I got an incredible opportunity. I had a couple of colleagues that were over at this wonderful school called Belmont. We talked to them. And then I sat down with Sheila and said, hey, there's this potential opportunity here. She could have said, you never talked about moving before. This thing's dead. Or she could have said, tell me more about this. And I would have said,

here's the career part. Here's the family part. Here's this part. And she would say, oh, that's exciting. Let me get involved in this. And let's think this through and talk this through. One of those is about us. And one of those is about me. And it sounds like both of the – I can only speak to the author. It sounds like the author has a picture of her life that she has already mapped out and that she is waiting for some guy to show up and make it all happen. And that's not how marriages work, period. That's not how life works, man.

Life goes sideways on us. Yeah. So that'll take you to write us an email just attach them to the whipping post man it's just like um but hey guys this is um yeah the language is all there and it's none of it good all right jennifer is in tallassee florida hi jennifer welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi. Thank you, John and Dave, for taking my call.

Sure. What's up? And I have a question about staying home and homeschooling. That's okay. We won't shame you. We're not against that. We're not against that. I'm a huge fan. We won't shame you.

Watch this. This is how it's done, dude from Tennessee. All right, go for it. Okay, so we're on baby steps, um, four, five and six. Um, my husband and I are 40 and 42. Um, and we decided that I should quit my job. Um, I've been homeschooling for the past nine years. Um, but I have worked part-time for almost all of those nine years. And you're going to drop the part-time for almost all of those nine years. And you're going to drop the part-time job?

I'm going to drop the part-time job. Cool. How much work are you making? At a kind of a bad job. Next to nothing. I make about $20,000 a year. And they pay me as an independent contractor. And what does he make?

So after taxes. What does he make? $140,000. Okay. So he makes $140,000. You used to make $20 make 20 and now you don't whoopee you're okay are you worried about the identity part you're gonna lose yourself yeah because i've been a teacher for um about 20 years and i've been working at this private

school and the pay has been terrible and the pay has been terrible, and the work's been terrible. And just the entire job has been super stressful. But it's still all I've done. It was your identity to be a teacher. And you did have a place where you got to shower, you had to show up to, and you got to meet with other adults. And what I hear, folks, when women say, I'm going to quit my job and stay home for a season,'s this identity loss because I was of this I was a teacher I was of this and now I'm just a so it's important when you make this transition to have a group of friends that you're going to hang out with regularly at once twice a week a group of girlfriends you're going to hang out

and you're gonna have to work hard to shift into a new identity what that's going to look like I think financially Dave I think they're fine financially. What was your question? We have about half a million in retirement. So what are you worried about? That I'm not contributing. You know, we've always tried to just, ever since we were first married,

just live on my husband's income and put mine towards, you know, first it was towards the house down payment, and then it was going towards the kids' college funds and things like that. You guys can make it on 140, kid. The greatest contribution you can give to your family is to be well. Take care of yourself. Quit working at a crappy place that underpays you and doesn't value you. Be whole.

Take care of your kids. working at a crappy place that underpays you and doesn't value you. Be whole. Take care of your kids. Partner up with your husband. That's the greatest contribution you can give to your family right now. You're going to be just fine. You're going to be just fine. Absolutely. Well done. Good choice.

Good choice. That puts us out of the Ramsey Show and the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Hey, it's John Deloney, co-host of The Ramsey Show. Did you know over 18 million people listen to The Ramsey Show every week? A lot of those people listen on one of our 600 plus radio stations across the country. To find a station near you, go to ramseysolutions.com slash show.