The Ramsey Show - App - When Should We Replace Our Vehicle? (Hour 2)

Episode Date: March 25, 2024

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality, number one best-selling author of the book Paycheck to Purpose, is my co-host today. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225.

One of the great joys, Ken, of being me is that from time to time our team helps me out by sending me the things that people say about me on YouTube comments and other social media because I don't look at any of that stuff. And so my team here, they're generous and charitable in that they want me to know what people are saying. Dave is an idiot. A poor man's smart man. German drummer 13. Booster 6969 says,

Use a debit card and not a credit card at the gas pump is some of the most idiotic and dangerous information I've ever heard, especially considering there are so many people that actually follow this guy's, quote, expert advice. Benjamin8581 says, What a stupid waste of money dave ramsey is too rich to give advice to anyone yeah because you'd want to listen to a poor person's advice about money if i if i was went broke and lost it all which i did and started again and stayed broke that would give me credibility uh you're not bright are you okay thomas marlow 1254 says it's not bad to use credit cards if you pay them off when you get paid and don't accumulate interest and then use the credit back davis an idiot by saying don't use

credit cards it's free money if you pay it off hey thomas is not free you had to pay it off, hey, Thomas, this is not free. You had to pay it off. Remember that part? There's no free money. I'm helping you with this. This is my favorite. Psychatic. Psychiatric?

Psychatic, yeah. That's pretty cool. I like that. I like that. That's a good handle. I don't know. What is this? This is, I guess, YouTube or something.

Dave Ramsey gives dinosaur monetary advice. Don't listen to these idiots. Buy Bitcoin. There it is. Well, there's a pattern, folks, if you're listening and watching at home. I saw a pattern. Idiot is mentioned several times as a pattern. I saw one.

Yeah, but do you know what the pattern is? Never listen to the comment or advice of anybody with a dumb username followed by four numbers every one of them german drummer 13 booster 6969 benjamin 85 81 honey badger 29 86 there's a pattern here folks these people aren't creative enough to come up with a username without four random digits you shouldn't listen to those people that's my takeaway really and i think honey badger 29 86 i'm giving him a lot of coverage i wonder if it was honey badgers that's a cool name yeah but stop there you ruined it with 29 you probably couldn't get it through. There's probably 73 of them. Exactly. Again, lack of creativity. It's not really original.

Exactly. These people aren't creative enough, and yet they're criticizing your financial advice. Aristotle said there's one way to avoid criticism. Say nothing, do nothing, and be nothing. Isn't that true? And we say a lot all the time, rather loudly, to 100 million people a week. So it's kind of a problem yeah that's what it is so it just goes with the territory hey it's the price of admission to be me and i'll pay it

it's a good gag it's a good gig i'm gonna start i'm gonna create a uh a new username dipwad 6437 and i'm just gonna go start commenting everywhere everywhere. People in the audience like that one. Dipwad. Dipwad, 6437. Watch for him at a website. He's a new troll. A new troll has been born. We've watched the birth of a troll. Rescue us from this day.

John is in Tulsa, Oklahoma. What's up, John? Hey, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. My pleasure. How can we help? Okay, so I'm selling a business I've had for 27 years. Wow.

And I need to know what to do with the money on top of what I have kind of going on already. How much did you sell it for, man? Well, I'm going to be selling it for a million dollars. Wow, good for you. Thank you. I started it with a $100 bill, actually, and a pickup truck. That's a good return. And 27 years of freaking sweat.

Yeah, it's been a lot of work and a lot of listening to your shows and reading your books. I've been applying the principles, but I'm at the place where I've got about $625,000 between mutual funds, IRA, a simple plan that I've had at work that we basically set up for ourselves to have a savings plan. So I'm going to sell this business. I don't really own real estate except my house is paid for, of course. Don't know what to do with the money when I get it. I can't put it in the bank. Well, you can.

I'm going to tithe. You know, I'm a tither. So I've been supporting the church for years. I believe in it. I believe it's the right thing to do. I enjoy that privilege. But, you know, I'm not going to give it all away either. So what do we say?

Very good. Good for you, man. So what kind of business was it? Electrical. Electrical contracting. I love that. How old are you? I'm 59.

I started in the work when I was 17. I started the business when i was uh i forget what year it was but it was uh 27 years ago that i started the business for any of you out there that heard somebody say you can't be a millionaire in america anymore i'm just talking to one he's worth 1.625 he's 59 and he's an electrician that's right so just to help you out oh and parents don't tell me america's dead okay way to. I'm so proud of you. Good job. All right. So your baby steps millionaire.

So on the money part, I'll step in, and then I'll have Ken talk to you about the career kind of side of it in a minute. But I always tell folks when you get a windfall like this, a big check coming, to put three names names on it after you paid your taxes and your tithe okay after you do that then put three names on the rest of the money lifestyle in other words enjoy some of it additional charity additional generosity and then invest it. And I don't care what the percentage is. You put a percentage on that. So I want you to – are you married?

Yes. I want you to blow your wife's mind with the best trip that you could ever think of. You work with $1.6 million, and you've never traveled enough. You've never enjoyed enough of the good things, and, buddy, you've earned it. So go blow her freaking mind. Do you hear my instructions? Yes, sir. Have some fun. Have some fun, and buddy you've earned it so go blow her freaking mind do you hear my instructions yes sir have some fun have some fun dude you've earned it you're a good man you work hard you've watched your pennies you know what you're doing so pick out something y'all go do something fancy okay now okay then so that's the lifestyle percentage and you could say

i'm gonna i'm gonna spend x percentage lifestyle. And that can be upgrading a car, fixing some stuff on the house, going on a trip. It could be all of those things. I don't care. We're going to put another percentage, and you decide what the percentage is, into generosity. And we're going to put another percentage into investing. I only invest when I'm using that formula for Sharon and I in two things. I invest in real estate that I pay cash for, and I invest in mutual funds.

Okay? And that's where I would go. And, Ken, as we head into the break, tell him right quick what's some good advice from a career perspective. Yeah, once the deal closes, you've worked really hard for this, and Dave already talked about the celebrating part. I would make sure you rest and just take some downtime and just rest and do

something that is restful for your mind and heart. And then I would do some good. Take some downtime and just do good. Work for free. Bless some people. Use that skill set. Mentor somebody. And then finally, after all of that, I'd let your mind begin to wander and dream again. And you've got some time left statistically. I think that's a good way to probably start something else. Yeah, you could start something else and be very successful. This is The Ramsey Show. And if higher costs aren't enough, the wait times to see your doctor are longer, and it's harder than ever to get anything approved through the bureaucracy. So if you feel like the system is working against you, try a biblically-based alternative to health insurance, Christian Healthcare Ministries.

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Yeah, we're on the glass here. We've usually got 50 to 200 folks out here watching the show, eating our homemade cookies, drinking our coffee all for free, and we're here from 1 to 4 Central Time, Monday through Friday. Two of us will be sitting here doing this show for three hours a day. We invite you. There's a good crowd out there today. So thank you guys for joining us, and thanks for stopping by on your spring breaks

and everything else you're doing out there. Good stuff. Melissa's in Atlanta. Hey, Melissa, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hello. Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure. What's up?

Well, I have a 2012 Tahoe that I might be a little bit emotionally connected to, and my husband is telling me that it might be time to sell. So I'm wondering, when do you sell versus when do you repair i haven't heard it discussed um on the show since i've been listening interesting how many miles uh about 170 000 okay that old tahoe raised your kids didn't it yeah i'm telling you my kids even sentimental to my children i mean they're they're goldfish from 1972 we're in the back it's the truth essentially and i can't tell you how amazing this car has been like the only thing we have ever done to it is an oil change religious oil changes

but what's wrong with it now any any mechanical issues So there are not currently any mechanical issues. However, my husband, who is a mechanic, can fix these things himself, albeit he doesn't really have the time, says that it's looking at a transmission in the future and is starting to have some suspension problems just with things being worn out. And so he's telling me that the value of it is starting to approach the cost of repair. Yeah. Well, and the husband's a mechanic, Dave. We pretty much don't have a discussion here.

I'm afraid he's right. That's right. Yeah, that's a good formula. When you spend $3,000 on a repair and when you finish the repair the car is worth less than $3,000 that was a bad move agreed okay like if you change the tires on the car and the car is worth more that's a problem yes yeah that's that's that's where you get to right i've done this this is how i know but now technically speaking if you want to run the, you could repair a car cheaper than you can buy a new one the rest of your life. But it reaches a point that it's just not worth the crap.

And so, yeah, I think you need a new car. Yeah, I'm with him. Not a brand new car, but, I mean, I think you need to buy a better car. And, I mean, you've gotten the life out of this one. It's served you well. Oh, Bessie, it's time for her to go to tahoe heaven well and we're on baby step number two so not a lot of cash set aside yeah well then yeah then you gotta sell it and use that cash yeah you gotta wait you gotta wait then i'm not gonna i'm not gonna trade three thousand dollar car for three thousand dollar car

well that's what we would be doing essentially. No, I'm not doing that. I thought you were. I'm sorry. I made an assumption that was wrong. I thought you were in a better position. You get out of Baby Step 2 and you get your emergency fund, then you save up and move up in car. I'd drive that one until then.

Until the wheels fall off, yeah. No, until you get out of Baby Step 3. How much debt you got left, kiddo? Yeah, we only have $30,000 left, and we're scheduled to pay that off within the next 15 months. Okay, you're going to be fine. You'll be fine. This car will make it a while longer. It's just you ask a question of when the car, when it makes no sense to keep the car.

Now, when we put that into the context of I got $30,000 in debt to pay off, and it's going to slow down the debt payment if I go buy a $ thousand dollar car i'm going to wait and drive the old beater that's what i did it's what ken did yeah that's right um we drive the beater until we get out of debt and you just keep patching it together with duct tape and bailing wire and you keep it running and the good news is you got the guy there who knows how to do it that's right yeah yeah you you got some sway with the old mechanic so i tell him hey look what's transmission going to cost if you have to take care of it because you'd be surprised how much less expensive it is when you're not paying for labor down to it now we're down to it yeah that's it he's got yeah that's he would be the guy they have to put the

new transmission in which is a pain in the butt okay exactly. Exactly. Sophia is in Des Moines, Iowa. Hi, Sophia. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Ramsey family. Hey, what's up? Okay. First of all, thank you. I am living with my mother, or my mother and I are living together, and she is 88 years old.

And I just found out that she has whole life insurance. It's 6,700 face amount and 2342 cash value. I don't know how to advise her whether she should cash it in or continue paying the $50 a month that she's been paying. And it's been a while. Yeah. She has $4,033 in her savings. If I had found her years ago, I would have canceled it in a heartbeat. At 88, how's her health? She has some issues, but in fair condition.

Okay. Well, what the life insurance people use is they use an actuarial table where they statistically try to predict death. Mm-hmm. Okay. And that tells them how to price these things. So here's what you've got. You've got a $6,700 life insurance policy that has a $2,500 cash value.

Did I get that right? $2,300. $2,300, okay. And so you actually have $4,000 worth of insurance because they're going to keep the $2,300, and they're going to give you the $6,700. Okay, so the net is all that the insurance is worth. Does that make sense?

Yes. You put $2,300 in your hand today and not have the policy anymore. Cancel it. That's one option, okay? You did away with $4,300 worth of insurance that you're paying $600 a year for. Mm-hmm. So if she lives seven years, you lose money. That's the math.

Okay. If she lives less than seven years, you make money. In no case are you going to lose or make much because it's not got zeros on it. It's just a couple grand. Right. So it's not anything to stress about. How does she feel about it?

Well, at first she felt that she should cash it in because she's already paid like 13 yeah she's paid for it 60 times i mean that there's no question she was ripped off but the only question now is from today forward what makes sense and you're paying six 50 bucks a month six hundred dollars a year to get four,000 worth of insurance in your 88. So you've got to make it to 95. If you make it past 95, you've lost money on this transaction. If she dies tomorrow, you're not going to make much. You're going to make $4,000 is all for $50 a month. And I just want to make sure that her final expenses are covered.

She's concerned about leaving something for her kids she's not gonna leave anything for the kids we're grown no she doesn't have anything i mean 6700 plus a savings account small like that pay for a funeral and that's about it right final expenses are covered and that's fine there's nothing no shame in that, but emotionally, I'd probably keep it. I hate the stupid things. On principle, I'd cash it in in a heartbeat, but I just kind of think it makes this lady feel better that she's got this laying there to take care of her funeral. Okay. And Dave, can I thank you for getting me to four months of emergency fund?

Oh, very good. Very good. Well, I am on my way as well. I'm so proud of you. Thank you for all that you're doing. Thank you. Well, thank you. Thanks for being a listener.

Yeah. This is The Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions. We have the debt-free stage. On the debt-free stage would be Juan and Ariely. Did I say that even close? Close enough. Ariely. Ariely. Ariely.

Ariely. Yes, you got it. It's hard to say it in hillbilly. Okay, good. That's okay. Ariely. I got it. I'm close now. Wayielle. Arielle. Arielle. Yes, you got it. It's hard to say it in hillbilly. Okay, good. That's okay. Arielle. I got it. I'm close now.

Way to go, guys. So where do y'all live? We live in Clearwater, Florida. Fun. And how much debt did you pay off? We paid off a little over $37,000. Very cool. And how long did that take?

Five months and 19 days. I love it. And your range of income during that time? We were about 103 to 150 000 oh wow nice jump in just a little bit good what y'all do for a living i'm a registered nurse ah and i'm an area manager for a gaming company okay very cool good to have you guys yeah thanks proud of you what kind of debt was the 37 000 it was everything from a car loan to credit cards uh we even financed a dog oh wow what kind of dog yeah yellow lab oh they're good dogs he's great they're better

when they're debt free though and that's our little dog can't be repoed that's him i love it good for y'all very fun so what happened five months ago what was the wake-up call? Put you on this Ramsey stuff. Well, back in January of 2023, Juan ended up losing his job. And so we didn't realize how much debt we were in. And having to be on a single income really just shook our world. And so we... I can still hear the fear in your voice right now. It's all gone. That's all in the past.

She's just remembering it. You can hear her vocal cords tightened up. Do you hear it? all gone. That's all in the past. She's just remembering it. You can hear her vocal cords tightened up. Do you hear it? I know. That's just me. No, that's good. That's the truth. You were feeling it.

Yeah. It was a really rough time. And then I want to say it was one day at church that I came across someone that I was just venting. And it was a dark time for us just because we were fighting a lot. And we were just like, man, how are we going to get out of this whole while I was going to the next job? And then someone at church mentioned, uh, like mentioned, Hey, that Ramsey guy. And we were like, all right, cool. Um, I, I checked it out and I'm like a zero to a hundred type person.

So I came home and kind of freaked her out. I'm like, we're doing this plan and we're selling everything. And that's how, you know, that's how we got into it. Yeah. And, uh, the smart conference that you guys did in April really just helped jumpstart that. We were like, you know what, this is when we're going to start budgeting. This is where we're going to get our life in order. And we did zero to zero to 60. We both got two new jobs. We both were working two jobs at the time literally seven days a week so it was a that took you from 103 to 150 that work thing yes yes there there was that and it was the first time that we started tithing consistently yeah um and just things that we couldn't really explain just happens. Like we ended up getting some refund money from a collection agency.

Yeah. Refund. Yeah. That's a tithe story for sure. Only God can make that happen. Exactly. And I want to say more than halfway through initially we were scheduled to be debt free within like,

I want to say 12, 13 months. And then in the beginning when we were in the program shout out to vanessa fields by the way she was an awesome coordinator oh you went to financial peace university yeah we went through um and i remember she was asking us like hey do you guys have anything to sell and of course i flat out lied and i was like no i have nothing and um i have a whole game room uh just full of stuff that was worth a lot of money. And just, I want to say halfway through, just God really tugged at my heart and was like,

hey, this is stuff. It's not worth marriage. It's not worth your future. So I sold it all. It was worth like 12, like between 12, $13,000. What was it? That we got um video games stuff that i collected over the years um stuff that i had from when i was a kid uh man all associated with gaming though yes yeah okay yeah so and i mean the secondhand market's really it's really hot right

now for the for stuff like that you can get big money for that Atari, right? I'm kidding. Yeah. Well, yeah. Super Nintendo, regular Nintendo, all that stuff. Really? Okay. So, yeah. But just watching your body language, he did something for his wife that meant the world to him, but did it for the good of the family. That's what's called a man right there.

It was a big sacrifice. I'm so proud of you. You sacrificed for your family. Because i can see it in your face that's still it's still a little painful i'm curious you mentioned you guys were arguing a lot it was dark you took us to the church moment you said it was a dark time i'm curious how quickly the tension and the arguments went away once you guys got unified and got gazelle intense. Can you remember? So first two to three weeks, and for anyone that's listening out there, getting on a budget, that monthly meeting that Rachel talks about,

it was not monthly, it was daily. Yeah, I get it. It was daily because we didn't know how, even though we were married, you know, on paper and in the faith, we didn't realize how separate we were in that area. So, but I want to say after a month, especially when we started tithing, I mean, that's where just slowly but surely things just started changing. And then we realized, man, there is a lot of peace in this. Yeah. started changing and then we realized man there is a lot of peace in this yeah and so now on the other side of this about ready to your scream how would you say the tension around money is now now at this moment it's doing better i mean yeah at the end of the day like we're not perfect by yeah and i like that i want people to hear that it's not perfect but the point is you're on the same page on this stuff yes we are on the same page and we worked really hard together to

get through this so it definitely grew us you know together in our marriage but also individually the same page on this stuff yes we are on the same page and we worked really hard together to get through this so it definitely grew us you know together in our marriage but also individually as well yeah yeah good for you guys thank you you guys are incredible i'm so proud of you because i'm watching a whole bunch of stuff happen right here in front of my eyes it's uh yeah this story is it's riveting because uh you really you mentioned tithing twice. So you've done a complete flip where God is now first, your relationship is second, and everything else is after. And it wasn't that way before you lined up on this stuff. That forced you to face that and flip it.

Yeah, we didn't realize how selfish we were, especially in our spending. So this way we got it in order you know the lord comes first and everything's preaching now i was telling you that that hits everybody ready to go i'm so that's what i was observing i wasn't gonna say it that way but yeah that's very well done very well thank you you guys so you gotta have some folks that are watching you from the outside that are just going you guys your transformation is amazing i'm so you gotta have people cheering you on yes we do we have an amazing uh church family our families themselves um my brother is a huge dave ramsey like he literally looks like you he got bald hair and he's got the goatee going too oh my gosh bless his heart um so yeah he's big

like dave ramsey and so he really really encouraged us. So that was really helpful. All right, way to go, guys. What advice do you have to somebody who's in a dark place and has $37,000 worth of debt? How do they get out? Start, don't quit. Yeah. Don't quit, no matter what, no matter how tough it is. I mean, God's with us in the dark i mean god's with us in the dark time he's with us in the high time he's with us all the way through yeah just keep going no matter

what don't stop um and if you're married you got a spouse communicate over communicate doesn't matter how how tiresome it gets you keep keep going. Yep, yep. And two big things, budgeting for sure. I mean, y'all talk about it all the time, but staying in the budget really, really helped. And then also using cash. It is inconvenient when you have to go to places that, you know, it's easier to use a card. But I will say using the envelope system, using cash,

it helped us stick to our budget way, way better. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot easier when the envelope's empty you quit exactly especially when you're in the new training program like this yes very very well done you guys are incredible i'm so proud of you hey we've got a couple of every dollar uh one year subscriptions for you one for you guys to use to stay connected to every dollar on the budget and stay signed up we'll pay for it now and you can give it away to somebody else.

We'll give you two of them. So thank you guys for making the trip all the way from Clearwater. You're absolutely heroes. Thank you. Very, very well done. Man, we watched that happen right before our eyes. Really special. Very cool.

All right. Juan and say it again. Arielle. Arielle. Juan and Arielle from Clearwater, Florida. ellie juan and ariely from clear water florida 37 000 paid off in five months making 103 to 150 but most importantly a complete transformation of their relationship and their view on life count it down let's hear a debt-free scream three three two one that's how that's done boys and girls i love it this is the ramsey show

ken coleman ramsey personality is my co-host today I'm Dave Ramsey Carol is in Lincoln Nebraska hi Carol welcome to the Ramsey show hi how are you better than we deserve what's up um um so I'm gonna try really hard not to cry my husband lost his job three years ago, and I had an accident. So we started at $10,000 a month. We are down to $2,400 a month. I have sold everything. I own nothing. I don't even own a car no more we live in a house my husband farms now with his dad

um and his dad's like 83 years old and so he feels like 24 is wow that's a lot of money you know um and uh and we are very thankful for that. Don't get me wrong. We are so thankful for what God has given us. We have a house that, um, we live in because John farms the ground, we get it free. Um, so God is definitely providing. However, I'm out of savings. I'm out of money completely.

I'm barely making my bills. I had an accident. It was an accident three years ago. I've had eight surgeries. Oh, my. Like an automobile accident? No, I don't want to go there. We'll just, let's not go there.

But I don't know what to do. I can barely make my bills. I don't know what to do. I can barely make my bills. I don't know. Like, they want me to. What bills do you have? Utilities, internet for school. How many children do you have? Water, propane, one. What age? Eleven. Okay.

And I homeschool. What was your husband doing before he lost his job? He was working for a power company. He was making really good money. What's really good money? Well, we were bringing home $10,000. He was? No, he was bringing like $6,000. Okay, and you were making $4,000. And you're unable to work now because of the accident?

Mm-hmm, and I don't even have a car to even make it to work i um that wasn't what i was asking are you physically unable to work because of the accident no what i did previously yes because my body i don't have the grip in my hands no more um my leg my whole right side basically has they've tried to reconfigure it um or fix it and it's yeah it's i mean i can walk okay if your husband can make six thousand dollars a month at the power company before why could he not do something like that again that's three times more than he's making now. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I mean, before he went to the power company, he farmed. And then he went into the power company. Well, he didn't ever want to go into the power company, but his ex-wife made him, I guess, or she wanted more money.

I don't think she's evil you called me with the same request right so he wants to farm i don't he's always wanted to farm the farm and it's his daddy's farm and it's the daddy connection there's a couple things going on here is does your husband think that your father-in-law should be paying him more or is he is he hunky-dory with what he's getting paid well he's not going to go to his dad and ask for more i had to write a letter to his dad um and point it all out and then he gave him a little bit of a raise but yeah your husband needs to step up right now and step up in a big way. Yeah. So here's the thing. The language you're using tells us that. Yeah.

I can't make my bills, which means your husband is not involved in this at all, which is wrong. Okay. So you need to sit down with him tonight at the kitchen table and say, I cannot be the only adult in this house anymore. I need some help. Bubba, you about to help me you don't have an option you're going to help me figure this out because i can't make this math work and you don't want to do anything about the income side of the equation so you show me where the magic's going to happen because i can't figure this out i'm not carrying the stress and the pain

of this anymore all by myself while you go out there and play farmer and act like everything's okay because it ain't okay bubba you need to have that talk tonight with the television off and the kid in the bed this is very serious because this is not going to last this is how he got an ex-wife the last time is he did not attend to the needs of his household. Well, I don't know about that. I do. I've been talking to you for five minutes, and I believe it.

That's exactly right. He's not a bad man. He's just absent emotionally and financially. He works hard during the day, comes home, and does nothing at night. I agree with that. Okay. He's a good, hard-working man. He's an honest man.

Yes. But he does not understand. And let me just tell you, guys, I'm one of them. We're pretty thick. You've got to explain it to us. I don't know. Tonight is going to be the explaining. You've got to use a verbal to- verbal to before and hit him in the face.

This is stopping tonight, Bubba. I'm done. I can't do this anymore. The surgeries and the stress of the finances being the only person in this household making adult decisions is over. You're going to have to sit down, look at these numbers with and decide with me i've already given him that i've given him i took my name no you didn't i yes i did no yes i did i don't believe you i did i took it well i did i took it off my the bank account i turned i do not i told him I wanted no more to do with the bills because mentally I cannot handle it. What was his response?

But I'm the one that picked up the mail. What was his response? What? I'm going to choose to believe you. Dave doesn't. I'm going to believe you for the moment. What was his response when you laid it out that way? He was upset, but he asked me, he how do i pay how do i pay this bill

online well i went and i showed him and i said but you know it's this amount don't ask me that's not what i'm talking about he's talking about money you got to make more money i'm talking about the two of you sitting down and adding up what it is coming in every month and what's going out every month and both of you looking at it just get a yellow pad out write it all down here's what it is coming in every month and what's going out every month and both of you looking at it just get a yellow pad out write it all down here's what it costs last night we did with a friend with him with him your husband with him yeah and what did he say then um well we have like five dollars left over so he's just not he's detached from reality that's the bottom line dave nailed it this is a guy who's playing farmer and it's a fun role for him yes he's working hard but i will say you got to work too i you said earlier that you felt like you could still do something it's

time for you to do something too you can't do what you did before but maybe you're gonna have to model the way and i'll be honest with you sister um. I'm not sure that your relationship's got a lot of hope if he doesn't wake up to this. I really, I'm serious. You got to get self-sufficient. I think the two of you need to sit down and get some help with your marriage to where you start working together. Because you're not. And there's like, I'm going to make him do this. No, that's not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about we need to agree that we're going to carry the weight of this together. Last night we sat down and went through all this together. The next day you call me on the radio crying. Yep. So last night didn't do any good. So you didn't get there yet. You got more work to do. So the two of you have to sit down together, lay out a game plan,

and then there's a wake-up call that says, I'm going to have to get a job, you're going to have to get a different job, or you're going to have to talk to your daddy about a raise because this is not going to work anymore. These numbers don't add up, and it's freaking me out, and I'm not going to live my life in terror. And I'm not going to take responsibility for something that you won't participate in.

We're going to do this together, two grown adults. I'm not your mama. I'm not going to take responsibility for something that you won't participate in. We're going to do this together, two grown adults. I'm not your mama. I'm your wife. And, you know, so that's what's going on. So you don't need to write a letter to his father. You live in his house. Walk yourself up into the living room and go, hey, me and the kid over here, we're hungry. We can't pay the bill because you don't pay your son nothing

because you're living in 1950 on your wage rates. And so we've got to do some changing here, pops, or we're going back to the power company like the last wife did. This is how this works. This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you.