The Ramsey Show - App - When Will the Market Be Safe To Invest Again? (Hour 1)

Episode Date: April 14, 2023

Dave Ramsey, Jade Warshaw, & Dr. John Delony take questions in front of a live studio audience in our new Ramsey Event Center! "We lost 30k in the market... when is it safe to invest again?" "Is it too late for us to buy a house?" Living and giving without feeling ashamed for being blessed, Convincing others to live a debt-free lifestyle. Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3cEP4n6 Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

And from the brand new Ramsey Event Center, broadcasting from the Pods Moving and Storage Studios, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people. We help them build wealth. We help them have work that they love, and we help them with real, actual relationships. If you haven't heard, as you're listening to the podcast or watching YouTube, we have a live studio audience of a little over 1,000 folks in the new Ramsey Event Center. You guys make yourself heard. Here we go. Wow.

You know, this is wild, man. Crazy. Wow. This is wild, man. Crazy. Considering that we do this show in a glass box with almost no feedback every day, this is going to be quite the opposite. This is way better. Yeah. This is way better.

It is way, way better. If you want to join us, the phone number is 888-825-5225. We're also going to do something a little different today. We're going to take questions from the live studio audience here. We've got microphones and some of the folks have put in a pre-submitted questions that they want to work into the show today. So either one of those will be just fine. And we're going to start off with that. So who's up first, Kevin? Hey, Kevin, how are you? Better than I deserve. Where do you live? Indianapolis. Cool. Welcome to Nashville. Thanks for coming in for this special event. How can we help you? Yeah. So my wife and I are on baby step seven. Kids are through school houses paid no debts. Um, about two years ago, we maxed

out our 401k and Roth and everything else as full as we could then the market of course went south and we decided to back off to 15% on our 401ks we focused on cash and putting a little money into our house remodel and the question is, when do we get back in? What's a good time? Okay, wrong question. The right question is, should I have done that? No, you should not, because there is all kinds of data points, all kinds of pieces of research, and you can go back through and study the history of the stock market of people who try to do what you're doing, which is called timing the market. I'm going to get out when it's high and in when it's low would be the theory. But most people do quite the opposite of that because they're emotionally driven and they get out when it's low

and back in when it's high. Oh, it's great. I'm getting in. Well, it's exactly the wrong time. So the people, if you compare mathematically people that jump in and out and try to catch those waves with people who just get in and stay in, the ones that get in and stay in outperform them about 40%. It's crazy how much the math changes. So that's why we always say no one gets hurt on a roller coaster except those that jump off in the middle. So what I would tell you is any time that you're not in the market is a good time to get in and then stay in. And so the other thing is the market is down right now. And all but one time in the last 100 years when the market has been down, the year following is excellent. And so if you were going to violate all that stuff I just said a minute ago and try to

time the market, now's an excellent time to be investing because it's on sale right now. We used to, when I was a kid, we'd go to Kmart. Anybody remember Kmart? Come on. And they'd put these blue lights up. Blue light special. Blue light special, you know?

And it's on sale. And that's what the market is when it goes down. It's on sale. And you want to get in for sure. Yeah. And the thing about that is, you know, the market's always fluctuating. But as long as you stay on, you're on the ride. The moment you get out and sell, you're locking in that loss.

And so you've just taken that. You've officially taken the hit once you get out. And so that's why, I mean, just stay in it because it's going to adjust. It's normal. And I think that's the thing that folks need to get in their head. These adjustments, it's normal, it's cyclical. This is what we should expect. We shouldn't expect for it

to just be skyrocketing all the time. It's constantly changing and adjusting. But we know by looking at the history and track record that although it's going and fluctuating, it's always tracking upward, even though it's adjusting. So that's really, that gives me peace at night. And, uh, you know, we're all in here with you and we're keeping our money in the market, man. Amen. Thank you, Kevin. Good question. John, I had a, yeah, give him a hand. I read a piece of research and I'm curious your take on this as a, as a PhD in

counseling, that there's something about the human brain that the financial people have found with surveys that it takes $3 of gain to emotionally offset the damage that $1 of loss did. Yeah, I think it may even be more than that now, but it takes, we're so loss averse. That's just the way our bodies are designed because they're over so many thousands of years, there was so much scarcity. So it's just designed for hanging on to loss,

hanging on to loss. And man, it takes some gain to get back to that equilibrium. And even then your body puts a GPS pin in that loss and it always wants you to remember, remember that time we lost, remember that time we lost, remember that time we lost.

And that works with money money that works with your marriage that works with your kids that works with trauma all that stuff is your body's trying to remind you well and what ends up happening is then we uh the little drama queen that lives inside of us overstates this crowd my drama queen is incredible so loud you're so loud well i was gonna i was gonna actually ask Kevin, like, here's what I know about me. I get hyper emotional about this stuff.

And so literally once a quarter, when the, the things are coming out, my smart investor pro will call me and say, you're going to get some mail. Probably don't open it. You're good. You're good.

And I'll say, well, what does it, what does that mean? They say, you're good. Right. But this is, I've actually had to outsource common sense.

No, they actually put it on there like their little outlook, a little tickler. Call John, talk him off the ledge. That's a guess. Well, they know I'm going to call them with a hundred questions that I got off of YouTube. Like, oh yeah, what if the dollar goes away and we're trading rocks and what? And he's like, dude, I'm just going to call him. That is what happens. But then people say things like, well, you know, in 08, I lost everything in the stock market.

No, you didn't. No, you didn't. And if you did, it's because you sold. Mathematically, it's not possible. Because you're still here. Unless you had it in a single stock and that company went broke. But if you were in mutual funds, you did not lose everything. It's mathematically impossible.

It actually only went in half. That's true. So you only lost half. And you didn't even lose half unless you happened to bail out at exactly the bottom, which is a unique ability to get out at exactly the bottom. That's one of my gifts, Dave. That's one of my gifts. So the trick is, I think over the years of watching this stuff, personal finance is 80% behavior. It's 20% head knowledge. And over the years of watching this stuff, the way I have learned to overcome the inner drama queen is just an act of my intellectual will. I'm going to use

my freaking brain instead of the drama queen that says, the world's coming to an end you know i've got to look at the actual data points and say jumping in and out bad staying in good for a hundred freaking years you know and we've always had incompetent presidents we've always had a congress that was handcuffed to itself. We've always, none of these things are new. Here's what is, I think, new is this idea that the news is here to help us. The news has one job and that's to get your attention. That's right. Get your attention when it says you're going to die. And so you click on it. The news is not here to give you info. It's here to make you wild, right? It's not your friend.

Not your friend. This is The Ramsey Show. We're back on The Ramsey Show, and my excitement to launch this with this live studio audience and here at the Ramsey Live Event Center for the first time ever. I forgot to say I have two co-hosts. Sorry about that. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author.

Host of the extremely popular podcast with Dr. John Deloney talking about mental health and relationships and marriage stuff and kid stuff. And it's all mixed in there. It's a wonderful podcast. Always very interesting. Jade Warshaw, our newest Ramsey personality, is for sure stealing the popularity contest around here, without a doubt. So thanks, get to hang out with both of you guys today. It's a good thing. So Ramsey Show live from the stage of the new Ramsey Event Center. Up next is Catherine.

Hi, Catherine. How are you? Wait a minute. There we go. Good. Hi, Catherine. Hi. How are you?

Good. Where do you live? Cincinnati. Cool. Welcome to Nashville. Thank you. How can we help today? So back in 2012, we came and did our consumer debt-free scream. And then getting to that point, we learned that we had the,

that our 80-20 loan was stupid. And so circumstances led us to lose our house. And then now we're 50 years old and in a place where we could start thinking about buying a house again, but with little save for retirement, wondering if we should just focus on retirement. No, I would get a house.

And I mean, you don't have to rush into it or panic. But, you know, if you want to retire with comfort, by the time you get to 70, 65 and 70, you need a nest egg and a paid for house. Here's why. Rents go up every year, period. The only way to control that is not be renting. If you own a home, the only costs that go up are your insurance and taxes, but your payment, even if you have still debt on it, does not go up, assuming you do what we say in a fixed rate 15-year mortgage. So your payment doesn't go up. And so the largest line item in all of our budgets, or most people's budgets anyway, is their home, their housing, their shelter. And if that largest line item in your budget is going to go up continually through

retirement, it'll bust the bank. And so you don't want to start at age 65 renting through age 85 that's 20 years of rent increases that's going to crack and scramble a nest egg so we want to get the house and then we want to get it paid off as part of your 20-25 year plan from today so yeah I would move towards that again not in a panic but but just to go well no been there that. I don't like houses. I had a bad experience. No, you need to do it again. This time, just learn from what you did before. Good down payment, 15-year fixed. Yeah. And we know that home ownership is a major part of that Baby Steps Millionaire mathematical equation. We know that, I think it's something like 67% of millionaires have paid for homes. And so we know that's a big part of it.

And usually when we're looking at that, that, that shakedown, it's two thirds of it is in the investments and the other third is in that home mortgage. So I agree with Dave wholeheartedly that that's the move. How much of this is, are you just freaked out to get back into this thing? Tell me about that. A lot. Tell me about it. Losing your house is emotional deeply traumatic yeah

leaves me not wanting another one yeah well that's uh yeah i had a bad car wreck i don't want to get back in the car so on your body's doing what it's supposed to be doing it's trying to take care of you okay and its job is not to think about 30 years from now it's to keep you safe right this second and it's going to remind you last time we did this last time we did you safe right this second. And it's going to remind you, last time we did this, last time we did this, last time we did this. And so it's good to have a couple of people in your corner that will walk alongside you,

will go look at houses with you, that may sit down with you and a realtor, somebody that's going to be able to put their hand on your wrist or put their hand on your arm and say, we're good, we're good, this is right. Yeah, just keep it conservative and you know what to do.

Watch your budget, that whole thing and don't get caught up in some kind of desperation. But as a long play, homeownership, as you said, is one of the big components of people that build wealth because it stabilizes your largest line item in your budget. Good question. All right, let's go on to the phones and go to Minneapolis, Minnesota. Tim is calling. Hey, Tim, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, thanks for taking my call.

Sure, man. What's up? Oh, I'm just having a real, real hard time trying to get my family fully on board with this whole financial process. And I'm just looking for some advice on how to get my girlfriend on. Oh, your girlfriend. Is that what you said? Yeah. Run, Tim, run.

Yeah. Just kidding. Well, you know, not just kidding, John, because I have a question. Wait a minute. Stop just a second. I got to get a little bit more detail here. I apologize for interrupting. Stop just a second. I got to get a little bit more detail here. I apologize for interrupting. No, go ahead.

Tim, you have a girlfriend. And do you have children with a girlfriend? Yes. How many? One. How old? Two years old. Two years old.

Okay. So when you say trying to get my family involved, you meant trying to get my family involved, you meant trying to get my girlfriend involved. Yeah. Because two-year-olds don't get a vote. We tell them what to do. Yeah, she also has two previous children. But they don't get a vote.

True. Okay, so you have a vote, and if your girlfriend's going to hang around and you're going to make babies, then I guess you're going to have to talk about marriage and doing this kind of stuff so that we have a team that is moving forward with a vision for our lives. Yes, yeah. How long has she been your girlfriend? About four years now. Okay. When is she going to be your wife?

When I can afford it. Honey, you made a baby. You can afford it. This weekend, dude, make it happen. It's $26. Okay. Anyway, all of that to say that comes into the equation of she doesn't want to commit to sacrificing for the future because you haven't committed to her there's a whole lot of relationship stuff going on here am i missing something dr deloney no no tim i i'm not going to get on board with your plans if you're not going to get on board with me that's what she's saying that does make that makes sense what what is it about the last four years that you're hesitant? Because I've talked to 19-year-olds who have no dollars, zero dollars, and they're like, we're getting married.

And I'm like, whoa, slow down. And you, this is four years. And you're like, well, I just need to get some more money. Why is that? Well, it's just the ring. I just wanted to realize. Oh, my gosh, Tim, you have a kid. You got a kid. Is that fair? Yeah. Besides that, let me help you with this i've been married

40 years the rings don't last the little dinky butt ring we got married with is in the safe and has been promptly and properly replaced with a much larger statement that's a good point tim why don't you just get get what you can afford put a ring on it and then you can always upgrade later on down the line i think i think you're using that as an excuse to move forward the ring the ring ain't got nothing to do with it you've got something else that's blocking you yep and here's what it looks like tim it looks like you sitting down with this with your girlfriend and saying i want to build a life with you, we get to decide. No matter what has happened in the past, we get to decide what this future is going to look like.

Will you build this with me? And when you have that conversation, then you're talking about dreaming and you get very specific. And then that is where you bring in this conversation about, here's where I feel safe. Here's how I want to handle money. Here's how I feel safe handling money. Will you join me in this? That's a totally different conversation than, you need to do Dave Ramsey plan. Look, if I'm dating this guy, and I don't care if we have kids,

but he's not asked me to marry him and he wants me to do things with my money because at that time it's my money. We're having a conversation. You know what I'm saying? That's French. Conversation. Well, that's exactly what's going on. I mean, probably, I mean, exactly, probably, but yeah,

but the, that's not an unusual thing that people face. And Tim, I'll go ahead and give you one other thing and tell you this. There's again, back to research and data. There's all kinds of data that falls into the bucket of the marriage advantage. Married couples, old married couples that have been living together for a long time married have higher tendency to build wealth. They have better physical health. They have better relationships. I mean, the shacked up thing does not have a good result financially long term. It doesn't end up. So check that out. Something to think about, my brother. Thank you for calling in. We'll always tell you the truth because we love you. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show live. Jade Warshaw, Ramsey Personality, Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality are my co-hosts today.

We are live with a live studio audience right here in the Ramsey Event Center. A lot of fun today as we launch this, open this building and start to use it for what it was designed for, which is to serve you folks. Whether you're watching from somewhere else, we're serving you that way, or whether you're here in the room, we're serving you. Dustin and Erica are on the stage joining us to do a debt-free scream. Welcome, guys. Thank you. Good to be here. Where do you guys live?

Richmond, Virginia. Very cool. Welcome to Nashville. All right. here. Where do you guys live? Richmond, Virginia. Very cool. Welcome to Nashville. All right. How much debt did you pay off? We have paid off $289,737.65. Way to go. Woo!

And how long did this take you? 86 months. Okay. And your range of income during that time? Did you start this when you were 11? It feels like it. 95,000, and we finished at 300,000. Wow.

Wow. Moving on up. The story here. What do you do for a living now? I'm a registered nurse. And I run my own business. I do architectural drafting and design. And I have to say, this building is absolutely beautiful.

All right. Thank you. Dave drew it himself. On the back of a napkin. Not really. Yeah, no. It's a great architectural firm that we've worked with for the whole campus. So Grisham and Smith have been good to us.

Thank you. Thank you very, very much. Well, so this is quite to us. Thank you. Thank you very, very much. Well, so this is quite a journey. 86 months. I mean, you all, your income has gone through the roof. You've gone crazy. What kind of debt was the $290,000? The debt was $4,000 was a family loan. About $16,000 was credit cards. Over $27,000 car loans. $48,000 in student loans, 8,500 in medical debt, and $86,240 in restitution when I was 17, which I'm very ashamed to even have to admit, and then 100,000 for a parent plus loan. Oh, wow. Man, you guys were normal and then some. Yes. Man. So how long have y'all been married?

We got married in May 2015, 2014. Yeah. It's been a long time. You can mess that up. He can't. Okay. Just be quiet, dude. Take a dive. It's okay, honey. And yeah, so about the time you got married, you started on this whole thing. You said, we're going to do this Ramsey thing? It was a year later. We bought a house.

You bought a house. And then you realized we can't eat. Well, we found out we got pregnant as soon as we bought the house. And then we realized we couldn't afford the kids. You can't afford the kid, can't afford the house, can't afford food. We didn't live near family, so we didn't have family to watch our kids. So daycare was an expense we had to consider. Absolutely. Okay, so basically the budget just caved in on you.

And that was your wake-up call? Yeah. Okay, so tell us what happened then. So Dustin went looking. So we decided, um, when we first set out to see what daycare costs, um, what can we do? And he found you. And then, yeah, it was a lot to get me on board. I was like, heck no. Um, this is working so well. I know. Um, so then we sat down and we figured out if we can pay off my parents who helped us with the down payment on the house, if we can pay off our credit cards, we'll be able to

afford daycare. So that was the goal. So we got that done, I think maybe a week before we had Declan. So that was the start. And then it's been a long journey since. Okay. But that got you moving. So you didn't just go there and then quit. You kept going. Yeah. Yeah. After that, we continued with everything and we had finished paying. I went to school. So I started working. I was in retail. I went to school for music, just like you, Jade, hence the $100,000 of student loan debt that got me nothing. So then, yeah. So I ended up working in management in retail, hated my life. He worked and got a job and then started his own business. And that was able to afford me to quit retail and start school. So we went back to school when Declan was a year and a

half. So that was about three years of just one income during this time. And then once I started working, we were able to pick it up and then COVID hit so I could pick up all those hours, which helped us to get to that end school. COVID was considerably scary if you were a nurse, but you could also make boatloads of money. Yeah, five 12-hour shifts is a lot with two little ones. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And it's scary the whole time, too. Yeah.

But they're writing you large checks. Yes, they are. Almost battle checks. So you found the show as a result of trying to figure out childcare, right? You're Googling something and you find it. Did you guys ever get connected to like Financial Peace University or what was that on ramp? We did. We started that early on and then we tended that together before we had kids. I think she was pregnant. No, we had Declan and we had already paid off about 40,000. And then we went and did financial peace. It was just, we felt like it needed to happen so we could put all the pieces together. I didn't need to hear anything else. Dave spoke my language and

he got here right away. But, but you know, the problem with just catching stuff on YouTube, and there's nothing against that, but you don't get the whole system, what you said. You don't see the holistic way how this is all going to weave together in the end. You can just kind of go boop, boop, boop, boop. You're just picking out the little pieces. And if you don't see how they all fit together, it's harder. So, Erica, what was it that turned you and got you going?

Because you said, I'm like, no. Okay. We finished in 2021 and we paid off like 130. He went to ITT Tech. I'll let him finish that. We've got that down if anyone knows. And John has spoken about that as well. So my student loans was in limbo. I paid on student loans during COVID, but then I stopped because it was in a lawsuit. It was not part of the mass forgiveness because my school shut down. And so we were in limbo for a little bit. So we were just piling up money, waiting on the decision in the lawsuit.

And once it came out that it was forgiven, I paid on my restitution, which I owed $80,000 left. This was from when I was 17, running around with the wrong kids. And the reason why it was so much because I was with two other people and the one committed suicide. So instead of it being split three ways, it was split two. So I had to pay for not only my mistake, but someone else's mistake. So I had a lot of resentment and feelings towards that. And

I almost thought like I wanted to die with it. But once we got to the point where she was on board to pay off her Parent PLUS loan, it was all. Yeah, debt free to you really means free. Yeah. Hey, to people who have debts that like may not have been theirs or they didn't realize what they were signing up for, whatever, just watching you say that,

there is something about your body posture that changes when you say, I shouldn't, but I'm just gonna go do it because it's the right thing to do. I'm going to go knock it out and be done with it. And you walk six inches taller. I feel like I'm 10 feet tall. And it happened right when your book came out, own your past, change your future. And that's exactly what I did. It just dissolves shame. Sometimes action, just saying I'm taking it. It just dissolves shame. I was very ashamed of it, and I don't tell people this. This is the only time in my adult life I'm really telling people out in the open.

But I feel like I just can't let it be a secret because you talk about secrets and stuff. I feel like I conquered that. It's incredible. It's awesome. All right, let's bring the kiddos up. I want to introduce them. Bring the kiddos on up. So you brought your babies with you.

What are their names and ages? So this is Declan. He's seven. And then Ayla, she just turned three. All right. Very cool. Well, you guys changed your family tree. We're proud of you.

Well done. Dustin, Erica, Declan, and Layla? Ayla. Ayla. Ayla. I'm sorry. Let me do it again. $290,000 paid off in 86 months, making $95,000 to $300,000,

and a lot of transformation during that time. Wonderful story. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey!

Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey!

Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey!

Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ramsey! Ram from the Ramsey Event Center with a whole live studio audience. A lot of fun. Jade Walsh, Ramsey Personality, and Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, are my co-hosts today. If you didn't know, I've got a note here somewhere. I'm supposed to make sure I hit this, that we are going to be live streaming the first two lessons of in the

smart conference in the morning with Rachel Cruz and George Campbell. And if you haven't signed up, it is a free live stream. You can't come because it's sold out. So you but you can watch the live stream and wherever you are in America, and we're going to make that available completely free. Did I mention it's free? Go to ramseysolutions.com slash live and join us for Smart Conference in the morning, Saturday morning for Smart Conference. Good stuff. All right. Jay is up next. Hi, Jay. How are you? Great. Good afternoon. Nice to meet you guys, and thank you for the opportunity to ask the question. Well, thank you. I'll get right to it. Baby step seven, blessed to be on measure, been able to live and save more than ever I ever even imagined possible. In the giving phase of

that, could you guys help with some how you prioritize where you give and what are the right things so that you don't feel pressure or shamed with everything going on in the world. Now, you know, sometimes when I get too busy because I feel this pressure to help as many people as we can, and then I get fatigued, Sharon will, I'll get home and she'll go, um, hey, you're not Jesus, the job's taken. And we've kind of taken that and applied it to our giving. You know, we can't fix the world. Ramsey Family Foundation doesn't have infinite resources.

As a matter of fact, I would guess that of the people that come to us for the different ministries and so forth that come to us, we say no to 95% of them. And they're all, just about every one of them are valid. They're legitimate needs. I mean, there's a child at the end of this that needs some help, and I can't help them. We've only got so much money, and we put that money on this thing, and that means we can't put it on this thing. And so you've got to get comfortable with the idea you're not Jesus. You're not God. You cannot do everything that needs to be done. There's no person on the planet has enough money to cover all the needs of the planet. It's just not there, and it's not how it works. And so there's no end to that until you divorce yourself from this need to

serve everything. So I don't feel guilty when we don't give to those. I feel sad sometimes. I wish we could. I wish we had more funding that we could do that, but we don't. And so it's not a guilt. It's more of a just, that's a really good one. Let's try to get to that maybe next year. Or, you know, let's just keep that in the back of our mind. See if there's a, let's certainly pray for them. We can do that, you know, but I can't be everywhere. I can't do everything and I can't give enough to cover all the needs. And if me taking care of everybody is what it takes to get rid of my guilt, I'm always going to have guilt. So you've just got to reframe it in that sense. John, any ideas?

The two things that my wife and I do, one is we sit down and what are things that we want to see different in the world? And we keep those things really close, right? I love the right hand and left hand. It's just a personal thing between me and my wife. We're really troubled by this or we want to help this particular family out and that's between us and them. The second thing is it's turned into,

I don't play video games. I'm just not that cool. It's turned into that type of enjoyment play video games. I'm just not that cool. It's turned into that type of enjoyment for me. Going to Waffle House, I take my son to Waffle House every Tuesday morning. He's a middle schooler. And watching him the first time we tipped a waitress $100 on a $20 meal, and watching her start crying and lean up against the coffee machine because this is going to keep her lights on, and him, Oh man. Right. It's that's that to me. So, um, I, I give, I know it's helping other people, but honestly, at this point it's, I'm benefiting, I think probably more. I love it.

So it's just become a fun thing to do. You want anything? I think you guys covered it. I have a similar story as John did. And I just think that learning to enjoy those moments and my screen says, how do we live and give without feeling ashamed? And I think that the earth is God's and everything in it. And if he's blessed you with these gifts and you have the wherewithal to understand that you're stewarding that and you're being generous

and you're doing all the things and you're being led as you see fit, then you're doing all the things and you're doing, you're being led as you see fit, then, you know, you're doing right, man. You're doing the right thing. Thank you, sir. We appreciate you. Up next is John. Hi, John. How are you? I'm good. Good. Where do you live? Findlay, Illinois. Good. Welcome to Nashville. Thanks. How can we help? I was wondering how to convince friends and et cetera that you can live without credit or credit cards besides just example. Well, I haven't been able to. All my friends use them. Facts.

I've got friends and family members. The vast majority of them don't do a stinking thing I teach. So, you know, and so being an example in front of them. I, early, early, early in this process, the first thing I ever did with this material, this biblical ways of handling money, was I was teaching a Sunday school class at my church. And I was so zealous and so passionate. I wanted everyone to do this stuff because it sets you free and you can become prosperous and you can become generous. And the benefits are just unbelievable. And I was just so passionate about it, like I had discovered the key. And it was really disturbing to me that not everybody was.

And so I spent a lot of energy trying to convince somebody that didn't give a crap. So somewhere in there, I decided I'd no longer answer questions unless they're asked. And people ask me three hours a day on here questions, I answer them. But if my friend drives up in front of the house, which happened not long ago in his new car that was leased, he didn't come over there for a lecture. He didn't come over there for me to tell him he's stupid, although he is. But he didn't come over there for that. He came over there to show me his new car. Now, if you ask Dave, what do you think? He'll tell you. Now, there's a problem then, because you done stepped in it then.

Yeah, that's the truth. I mean, but if you, I mean, and if I can get you. That's my life rule too. I'm not going to answer questions like that. If I can get you in a situation where I almost force you to ask, I'll do that too. But you have to ask, meaning that there's some indication that you will actually do what the answer is. But people who run around this culture all over the place answering questions that nobody asked, they're a pain in the butt.

And so I just quit doing it. I love people where they are, and if they need me, they know what I am. They know who I am. They know you. They know you live debt-free. They know how you are. And they know if they hit the wall and there's a problem and they go, man, I can, I can go to John. Cause he can tell me how to do this now that I've really screwed up enough that God

got my attention, you know, but, uh, but until then, you know, you can just, all the sermons in the world won't work. Well, yeah, because you can't fabricate that moment. Everybody hits that moment in different ways when they realize, man, I've got to change. You've got that I've had it moment or that moment where it just hits the fan and it's like, I've got to do something different. And until that person is at that moment willing to make a change, looking for something different, then you're just, I mean, you're hitting a brick wall. You're running into it every time because you can't create that for someone. They've got to do that themselves and hit that moment themselves. Both of these questions to me are about identity. I have value because I can give a lot of money away, or I have value because I've got a lot of knowledge away. And I want to tell everybody, you got value, whether you got something to give away or not. You got value just because you are. And if your identity is, I only have worth because I need to give you this, I need to give away or not. You got value just because you are. And if your identity is, I only have worth because I need to give you this, I need to give you this, I need to give you this.

That's not a problem with the receiver. That's a problem with us. And I'm looking at me because I'm a pathological giver. Like I got, I got to tell you how smart I am. And the world's like, nah, we're good. We're good. So there's something about me having to look in the mirror and be okay with me. And that's hard. Be okay with my relationship to God. Be okay with my relationship with my wife and my kids. That's really, really hard. Because culture says yell, yell, yell, yell, yell, give, give, give. And I just got to unplug from that being my identity. John, thank you.

Good question. You're good. Jade Warshaw, Dr. John Deloney, this hour here on the Ramsey Show Live. Hey, it's Dr. John Deloney. If you like what you heard in this episode and want to know more about getting started on the Ramsey Baby Steps, go to ramsaysolutions.com and click on the Get Started button.

We'll help you figure out the best next step for you based on your specific situation. That's ramsaysolutions.com and click Get Started.