The Ramsey Show - App - When You Have No Debt You Have PEACE (Hour 2)

Episode Date: September 12, 2023

Live Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Thank you for joining us, America. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, host of The Ken Coleman Show, and author of the number one selling book, From Paycheck to Purpose, where he helps people with their careers, their jobs, and their work.

And he's going to be doing that today, right here on The Ramsey Show. Phone number here is 888-825-5225. Louisa is with us in Washington, D.C. Hi, Louisa. How are you? Good afternoon. So great to be speaking with you today. Thank you so much for taking my call. Thank you. What's up? All right. I've got a what would Dave do scenario, and I'm pretty sure I know what you're going to say, but I kind of just want to walk through some options I have and it's concerning my mortgage. So a little bit of background. I have an arm that resets every November and it hasn't really been much of an issue until recently, obviously because the rates have gone up. So it is resetting from four and a half to six and a half percent. Joyful. Yep. The balance on the loan is $99,000. I've actually paid off $52,000 in the last year and I am on track to pay this off. My goal is December of 2025. Okay. So here are the

scenarios I just want to walk through, want to get your thought. Option one is just to, you know, stick with, you know, stick with the new payment coming up in November. My payment is actually going down $180, even with the rate going up because I've paid off so much. So it's actually going down $180. So that's option one, is just proceeding with, you know, six and a half percent. and then, you know, the rate would reset, you know, next year. Option two is a recast. And I've kind of read where you're not a big fan of a mortgage recast, um, and want to get your thoughts on this. So obviously the rate would stay the same, six and a half percent. Um, this would require a $20,000 payment, um, by the end of October, and that would lower the payment $140 a month. Okay?

So that's option two. Why would you want to lower it if you're paying it off in two years? What's the benefit? Well, I guess that's where I think. I don't understand. It's like we're trying to pay it off in two years or two and a half years, right? Right. So how does lowering the payment accomplish that?

I mean, it's lowering the interest that I'm paying. No, it's not. I mean, that would be. No, it's not. If you recast, you're going to recast at a lower interest rate? No, I'm recasting. I'm taking it from a balance of 99 000 to oh it would lower the balance yeah but you could do that anyway you don't have to recast to do that

yes i could and that's what i've been doing is just recast all recasting does is reset the payment based on a longer term it doesn't change the interest charged. Right, right. Okay. So there's no benefit to you mathematically to recast. Okay. Given that you're planning to pay it off in two years. Yes, correct. And here's the other thing, is that I don't have $20,000 just sitting around. Well, then there's that.

Right, exactly. So that kind of brings me to option three. And let me just preface this by saying I heard you about a year and a half ago, maybe two years ago, before the rates were creeping up, because I was going to refinance. And I remember you telling a caller, don't refinance if you can pay it off in three years. So I kind of went with that model.

And I'm on target. I'm on track to pay this off. And that is really why I did not refinance. But option three would be digging into my brokerage account and paying it off entirely. I have about $200,000 I'd have to cash. Not in a retirement? You have a brokerage account sitting there with enough to pay it off? Yes, I do. Pay it off today. Yeah, I knew you were going to do that.

You knew I was going to do that. I did, I did. I still wanted to walk through the options. Okay, so if you had a paid-for home with a brokerage account with $100,000 less in it, would you go borrow $99,000 on your paid for home to put more money in your brokerage account? No. It's the same thing.

Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm just having some... Let me tell you what's going to happen, all right, that you don't anticipate because i've been the other side of it myself and with a whole bunch of other people you do not understand when you pay this off and you walk out in the backyard with no shoes on that the grass is going to feel so much different there's going to be a level of peace blow through your home like a nice cool wind

that you don't even know is coming when you owe no man nothing all this hand wringing you've been doing for the last few minutes trying to figure out what to do, all that's gone. Just clean and simple. You just own your house. You're weird. I love it. I love it. And listen, if you really hate it, then go get you a new mortgage.

Yeah. But I don't think you're going to hate it. I think you're going to feel freedom that you have not felt in your adult life yep and i know that from the having experienced it myself because i don't have any debt and haven't had for 30 years and i walk around without all of these weights on my shoulders and um that a lot of people have and i get to make different decisions and have a different level of calm in the middle of a storm and all of that pay off your house louisa please i promise you you won't regret it but if i'm completely bonkers and you do regret it you can always go get you another mortgage and theoretically put it back in the brokerage there's a fear there you can hear it

yeah well no it's just this angst of the devil i know yeah that's right devil i know versus the peace i've never known and um it's i don't know if i'm doing something wrong i don't know if which is the correct thing and let me just tell you man when you get no payments in the whole freaking world. Financial peace. Two words that don't go together, like airline service. Man. Wow. Like postal service.

Sorry to you postal people. Oh my gosh. Sorry to you airline people. I mean, really. I mean, it's financial peace. Two words that don't go together. I mean, I've got money in a brokerage. I've got my emergency fund.

I've got retirement going. And I own my whole freaking house. Some of you need to breathe that in and make that a goal. Some of you spend a lot of calories flipping stuff over in your head, wringing your hands, trying to figure out something, when the answers are usually pretty simple. Clean it up, people. Simplify, simplify.

That's it. Simplify. It's hard to beat, simplify. That's it. Simplify. Yeah. It's hard to beat, guys. Hard to beat. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, you guys. Health insurance costs are only moving one way, and that way isn't down. And if higher costs aren't enough, the wait times to see your doctor are longer,

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So learn more today and join at chministries.org slash budget. That's chministries.org slash budgets. That's chministries.org slash budgets. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Our question of the day for the Ramsey Show is sponsored by Neighborly, your hub for home services from repairs and maintenance to remodeling and upgrades. Neighborly's trusted home service providers have trained local experts who can handle almost any job. So go to neighborly.com to find and schedule service today. Today's question comes from Roger in South Carolina. I'm a 20-year-old male currently studying aerospace engineering. I know the aerospace industry is very cyclical, so I was wondering if having a one-year salary emergency fund would be a good idea before having kids.

Well, I'm sitting next to the guy who created the concept. I don't think a year is necessary, and I don't know enough to understand why he believes the aerospace industry is so cyclical. But six months, if you're in kind of a topsy-turvy industry like that, I think would be good. I don't hate having a one-year emergency fund, but is it necessary? No. With his credentials. Roger, you're an engineer. You overanalyze things.

Your job is to perceive risk, and so you see risk everywhere. But there's not that much risk. You will be fine if you have an aerospace engineering degree. You will be able to get a job and feed your family sometime in the six-month period. Yeah, six months is fine. And here's the other thing. The more money you put into that, the slower you build wealth. The faster you build wealth, the less you worry about an emergency fund.

If you've got a million dollars in a mutual fund and $5,000 in a mutual emergency fund, you don't have enough in your emergency fund if you got a million dollars in a mutual fund and five thousand dollars in mutual in an emergency fund you don't have enough in your emergency fund but you got a million dollars in a mutual fund so you're gonna be okay yeah you know it's so the faster you build wealth the less you have to worry about any of this so you're gonna be just fine tom's in st paul minnesota hi tom Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave and Ken. I just want to say, starting off, your principles have changed my wife's life and my life, so I just wanted to thank you guys for your ministry.

Thank you. How can we help? Yeah, so to gain to my question, a little bit of context. Last month, I actually called Ken on his show, and I was just laid off from my mortgage loan officer job, actually working at Wells Fargo. And I was looking for places to basically trying to figure out references, and Ken gave me great advice. And a month later, I now have a job at a Toyota dealership selling cars. So really exciting. I guess my main question is, is a lot of people are coming in, they're financing their car, they're leasing their cars.

In fact, you know, there's some incentive for us to push leases just because from our standpoint, you know, that creates repeat customers. Now, none of this stuff is stuff that I would recommend to my loved ones. I would never do it myself. Am I in the wrong if I'm in a position where I'm sometimes selling these? If so, should I consider changing jobs, or what are your thoughts? Well, you're not ethically doing anything wrong. This is not an illegal activity. But because you don't believe in it, we don't believe in it either, but this is about your principles. Eventually, this is going to eat away at you. So short- term, I would be looking for something to make a transition because long term, this will eat away at you. And listen, you know, I talk about engagement all the time. I study the data. Listen, a person who doesn't believe in the

mission, the product, the service of a company is not going to be fully engaged. And that has a lot of negative effects, financial opportunities for you promotional opportunities it affects your health your mental health and beyond so i think long term if i'm a guy like you that has a strong principle conviction that you have i would eventually move on from selling something that you just don't believe in yeah it's it's not something you have to run out of the building today like your hair is on fire like you discovered the boss had 20 pounds of cocaine in his office. You don't hang out there another day.

Okay, that's not what's going on. This is, you know, a disagreement of how the product works. And so Rabbi Lappin talks about that in his book. He's my good friend, Orthodox Jewish rabbi, and he wrote a book called Thou Shall Prosper. And the book is the 10 reasons that Jewish people have had an inordinate probability of being financially successful in any point in human history. They tend to thrive. And why is that? One of the things is they believe that making money is an honorable thing if you're doing an honorable thing. And one of the things he points out in that chapter, it's one of the ten things, is that if you're doing something that's psychologically incompatible with your belief system,

it's very difficult to be good at it. And so, you know, that's another way of saying exactly what Ken said. And so, yeah, I'm completely aligned with what coleman is saying here if i were in your shoes i would say i'm going to give myself 60 days and i'm going to be somewhere else um because they're they're they are going to sell car leases because they make more money on car not because of repeat customers but because they make more money on car leases than they do on the actual sale of the car and they make more money on car leases than they do if they do a regular finance plan with a bank and they make more money on car leases than they do just about anything else it's the one of the most profitable parts of the entire auto industry now

and so it's massively profitable for them this paper is amazing and so they're they're not only going not going to not stop it they're going to push it because it's where they make their money and so that's how it is it's like there's a series of articles have gone around the last few years that if you work at victoria's Secret selling small underwear, right, you have to sell a certain number of Victoria's Secret credit cards or they will not give you hours. Okay. Because they're more in the credit card business

than they are the small underwear business. Right. Small underwear is there just to get you into the credit card debt. Interesting. Into big debt. Small underwear, big debt. There it is. So there you go. That. Into big debt. Small underwear, big debt. There it is.

So there you go. That's how it works. That's a great slogan. You ought to box that one up and sell it. It's pretty good. But if you want to work there in that store, in the retail store, you're not going to get hours. That's right. You're not going to be promoted if you don't sell credit cards.

Even if you sell a whole bunch of small underwear and you don't sell any credit cards, you're going to be on the street. They, you know, but that's the business they're in. They know where their money's coming from. They know what the profit centers are and they're going to drive you that way. So then you've got to decide as an employee, are you going to plug into that? And I think you've already decided. Oh, sure.

Tom, I think he'd already. He had already decided and just wants permission is this silly no it's not silly at all no it's smart brian is in jacksonville florida hey brian welcome to the ramsey show hey dave how you doing today better than i deserve what's up glad to hear it um share a question for you um i need a little background information on myself um i'm 40 year old i have two. My wife's a stay-at-home mom. We own a townhome. We owe about $55,000 left on it.

My wife has some savings, around $60,000. And I'm debating whether I should use that money to pay off the house or if I should invest it like in an IRA or something for the future. But the thing is we're in a small townhome, and we're looking to get something a little bit more space for the family because kids are sharing a room. I've got a boy and a girl. When are you moving?

We're not moving at all yet. We like to get another property because we like to have – Is this two years or a year or ten minutes? It's probably the next couple of years. Okay. Pay it off. Pay it off? Today off today okay today the reason i asked my financial advisor tells me not to because he says my interest rate in my home is going to be less than what i'd be making in the stock market that's why i figured out guess what

guess what he didn't make a dime when you pay off the house he makes commission when you invest the money with him i understand that hello ding ding ding ding and i didn't make a dime either way so you do whatever you want to do but if i woke up in your shoes i'd have a paid for house now you need to get yourself on a budget and you need to sit down with another financial advisor that's not giving you stupid butt advice and get you an IRA started and get your kids for it. Get your kids 529 started and let's get some investing going and get yourself on a budget with your wife and the two of you working together. Let's get detailed and dial this money stuff in, man, because it kind of feels like you're loosey goosey running out here just for trying to figure this out as you go. And you need to dial it in and make sure every dollar is

barking. Every dollar is doing what it's supposed to do. So get in the EveryDollar app, get in Financial Peace University, do that kind of stuff. But if I woke up in your shoes, I'd pay my house off today, dude. Just like that. No question. This is The Ramsey Show. Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today.

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Trevor is in Salt Lake City. Hi, Trevor. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Thanks for having me, Dave. I really appreciate it. Sure. I grew up watching, grew up listening to your show with my parents, so huge fan of yours.

Well, thank you. I got a question for you regarding either reinvesting in my business or purchasing a home, and I can give you a little bit of information about it. So I'm 23 years old. I'm getting married in a week. Wow. And I, thank you. Good for you.

Congrats. Thank you. Between me and my fiance, we have about $50,000 in our savings account. We have no debt. My business has about $75,000 in assets, as well as I have about $25,000 in investments, mutual funds, CDs, stuff like that. And I'm just wondering, with your expert opinion, what I should do if I should reinvest in my business to continue to grow it, or whether or not I should look into purchasing a home. How much do you need to reinvest in the business and why? So the reason I'm reinvesting my business, I just bought a new skidster. I do landscaping. I've been able to pay everything, cash, trailers, equipment. I just got a new skidster

and I'm looking to purchase a second truck. I have three employees, so I'm looking to have a second truck for them as well as a new trailer and just upgrading some of our mowing equipment and stuff like that. Okay. If you spend that money, you're going to spend, what, $20,000, $30,000? Correct. And what does that cause you to make because you spent that that you wouldn't make if you didn't spend it?

Okay, so I'm anticipating this year to make about $80,000. That's after taxes, everything. And I'm anticipating if I can get that reinvestment, I can make an additional $20,000 to $30,000. So you can make the money back in a year. Yes, probably about that. You spend $20,000 or $30,000, you make an extra $20,000 or $30,000 as a result. Correct.

Okay. And it sounds like you got $75,000. Correct. And that's in equipment. And you make. In trailers. No, no, no. You have $75,000 cash.

You have $25,000 in a mutual fund and $50,000 in your account, right? Yes, no, you have 75,000 cash. You have 25 in a mutual fund and 50 in your account, right? Yeah, approximately. All right. And what does your wife make? She makes about 40 a year. And you're going to net on your business 100? No, I'm anticipating 80 this year. I reinvested quite a bit this year.

I just bought this skid stir about two weeks ago. So that ran me a little bit. And I do owe, the only debt I have is my father, who gifted me $15,000 towards my skidster I bought, so I'm going to pay him back. Is that a gift or a loan? A loan, more or less. Well, that's an interesting piece of information for a guy for 10 minutes has been telling me he was debt free you're not debt free you owe your dad 15 grand no you're not going to invest in your business you're going to be paying your dad back

i'm i will pay it off in the next month oh no today you have the money in your account right now you shouldn't have taken it from him in the first place you got 50 000 bucks you need to borrow 15 000 from your dad correct i just wanted to keep some money in an emergency fund where where i am self-employed i just and getting married i wanted to be allowed some money yeah should have bought a skid steer that way if you need the money if you need the money for an emergency fund you shouldn't buy a skid steer but you bought one now and now you got a loan and now you're going to pay it off i'd pay that off today um and then what i would do is get married and spend the first year of your marriage piling up cash for a good down payment on a house and after you've been married a year you will make

a different purchase than after you've been married a week it's a different house it takes a year of being married to know how close to your mother-in-law or your father-in-law who loans you money for skid steers that you want to live. How close do you want to live with these people? It takes a year to figure that out. So it's a joke, but not really. Yeah, I was going to say, there's a lot of truth to that. The other thing, too, is I would be challenging myself, how can I make an additional $15,000, $20,000 a year

over the next year of my business without spending $20,000 to $30,000? Get innovative. And especially in that first year of marriage. He was already worried. That's why he took the loan out from his dad, I believe. So, Trevor, you need to quit buying toys for your business that you haven't done a careful ROI on because you're not going

to get an ROI on this skid steer. That's bull crap. You're not going to make enough on that thing to justify having purchased it. You would have been better off buying mowing equipment to expand your operation than with a skid steer. So quit buying business toys that don't have very fast, large ROI. Stop it. I had a friend of mine that's in the building business, and he bought a skid steer. Now, I bought a skid steer the other day, too. Did you really? There's one out at the farm.

For you? But I bought it for no reason at all, except I have the money, and it's a toy. You like moving dirt around. Well, I got my grandson in my lap digging up stuff that doesn't even need to be dug up. All right, so this is embarrassing. This won't surprise Dave at all. But you guys are throwing skid steer around, skid steer this, skid steer that.

You don't even know what this is, do you? I had to Google it real quick, James. It's a bobcat. It's a bobcat. That I would have known. It's a bobcat on tracks. It's a pretty cool-looking little machine. If it's on tracks, it's a skid steer.

Right. So basically you, Papa Dave, got his own real-life's on tracks it's a skid steer right so basically you papa dave got his own real life tonka it's a toy yeah that's exactly what i did it is it's great and good for you yeah it's fun because your grandson thinks that's really cool my god it's a giant there's no cooler papa dave in the world than one with a skid steer so what i'm hearing is live like no one else so later you can dig holes for no reason at all yes to make your grandson happy that's the dream of every grandfather every four-year-old's dug a hole for no apparent reason and every 64 year old apparently is going to do the same you never get over it i was going to say live so live like no one else so the public knows i'm not anti-skid steer okay

i'm just saying but from a business perspective don't buy stuff that you can't ROI quickly. And I got to tell you, here's an interesting thing. Working with people in entree leadership, very few women do this in business. It's kind of a male thing. It's a male stupid thing. It's toys. And they do it with computers. The guys that do all this equipment stuff in here i have to constantly go no we don't need another one all right good god how many microphones do i need to own seriously boys collect toys man

there's just something about it and i i ladies they they're very careful but oftentimes i have to get them to go the other way it's hard to get them to do the actual investment they need to do right to to because they're conservative on it but very few women in business collect toys like boys do and you know what's interesting i'll bet you can prove this they're much more resourceful as well think about the mom who always makes the science project happen under the wire, you know, with a couple of straws, you know, a rubber band here. It's like you can build that business, that landscaping business without that new truck. You can't, you just got to be innovative. And that's where innovation comes from is when we have a lack of resources. Craig Groeschel talks about that a lot.

Yeah. In fact, he's the one that, it was mind blowing. I think I interviewed him years ago when I was hosting Entree Leadership. It's one of the best thoughts on innovation that I've ever heard is from Craig Rochelle. Yeah. A lack creates a necessity to become creative on how you're going to do it if you can't do it any other way. And so that's why your dad did you no favor, loaning you that money. Right. So that's the thing.

So all that to pick on you, Trevor, because we love you and we want you to win. So pay off your dad today. Get a little apartment and set up house and concentrate on loving each other, not on stupid real estate deals for the first year of your marriage. And after you've been married a year and saved up a little more money above your emergency fund somebody you're debt-free, make sure you are. Then from there, you put down a good, strong down payment on a 15-year fixed after you've been married a year. That's what I would do if I were in your shoes. Congratulations on the marriage. This is The Ramsey Show. Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today.

Thanks for hanging out with us, America. This is The Ramsey Show. We're so glad you're here. Hey, guys, George Camel and the EveryDollar team are hosting a free live virtual training for your budget. Yeah, you're going to learn how to find more margin in your finances to spend without guilt and to make a budget that actually works. First one is happening September the 19th at 1230 Eastern Time. Spots are limited. You can pick one with George.

Jade Warshaw is going to be doing some. I think Rachel Cruz might be doing another one, too. So all these budgeting webinars are completely free go to every dollar dot com slash budgeting and we'll help you get started with this stuff all right here we go josh is in orlando hi josh welcome to the ramsey show hey never grow up especially if you can afford it right gentlemen that's right there's the plan what's up man okay so i have a pro and a con. So here's my dilemma. And I'm actually, so I'm trying to get as debt free as I possibly can. I have 17, no, about 19, $20,000 in credit card debt. And then that's my primary. And then my secondary

is my auto loan, which is about 11,000 upside down down. In regards to my credit card, I have $18,000 in RSU shares for my company, and then I have $7,000 in a traditional IRA. Wanted to know if I should use my stock to, wanted to know if I should use both to pay off my credit card debt. I would not use an ira i would use your stock okay and the reason for not using the ira penalties taxes okay leave those alone and i would quit adding to the ira and i would cut up the credit cards and never touch the stupid things again get a debit card do not even own a credit card okay 100 100 and then what about the ra to where i cash it out i have it in

a savings account you already have yeah i uh well i did i did a transfer or i did the part of the work but i haven't fully transferred it to my same my personal savings account when did you do this uh i did it last friday to where it was effective for me to utilize today okay uh well you've got 60 days to undo it without penalty and so i'm going to get go to ramsey solutions.com and click on smart investor and find a smart investor pro in the area to help you undo it and get it back into an IRA before you get hit with the penalties and the taxes. How much was in that? You said there's only like $7,000 in the account, though, right? Yeah, it was only $7,000.

Yeah, so you're probably only going to lose $3,000 or $4,000, but that's still ridiculous. I mean, you're paying 40% interest effectively to get the money freed up. I would not do that. I think it's a good practice for you to learn to leave that alone. So let's roll that back into while you're in the 60-day window. Get you an IRA set up with a SmartVestor Pro. And then start your – I'm sorry.

Then cut up your credit cards and pay them all off. And then you've still got to clean up your auto loan. That's your next thing. So beans and rice, rice and beans. No adding to any investments of any kind and we're completely focused on clearing this debt that's the next process there so good question open phones at 888-825-5225 tyler is in jacksonville florida hi tyler welcome to the ramsey show hey dave how's it going better than i deserve what's up yeah so i got a a little bit of a dilemma here with uh some in-laws i guess

give you a backstory i'm married uh moved away from home and i guess i said in-laws but my my parents um moved away from home, and my mother's not in a great financial situation. She hasn't been working and has some tax issues from a past business, and she's asking to borrow some money to make a house payment, and I feel led to, but I'm also trying to talk to her in the, in the nicest way possible to try to sort out a longer term plan than, you know, make a payment.

And then what do we do next month and what do we do next month? Uh, my siblings, uh, aren't as financially capable to, to help. So I feel like I'm falling feel like... How old are you, Tyler? ...I'm calling to me. How old are you? 28. How old is your mother? 57.

Okay. On what planet is the 28-year-old supposed to take care of the 57-year-old that was too trifling to do it herself? It's not your job, man. It's not your job. Yep. And I bet your wife isn't happy with this either. No. No.

What do you make a year? Combined, we're making probably $250, $260. You're making bank, aren't you? Good for you. Okay. What is your mom doing? Nothing. Calling Tyler for money.

Is she not working at all? No, not currently. Well, take me back. When was she working? It's been a while um she had a housing housing company quite a while ago and why is she not working that um um not a there's not a good reason i don't think so either okay so you giving her money is not sustainable because you were correct in your

wisdom when you observe that you're going to be doing it again next month and next month and next month and next month because you're enabling her bad behavior yeah instead what i would do is come alongside her and say mom i'm going to be your biggest cheerleader i'm going to give you some suggestions and some help and show you what to do so you can straighten this out. First thing we're going to do is we're going to get into Ken Coleman's book from paycheck to purpose and we're going to get you a job and a career and then I'm going to put you on to every dollar on a budget and you're going to make money and pay your own bills and you're going to like yourself more when you do that. I am not going to pay your bills, Mom, but I will be here for you, I love you,

and I will help you figure out a way to pay your bills. And she's not going to like that, Tyler, because she likes doing nothing. Yeah, yeah, I think that could be the case. Yeah, she's going to get angry with you, and she's going to become a travel agent for guilt trips, which is what codependent people do when their enabler cuts them off. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry.

This is going to be tough, but you're being very wise. I'm not trying to just be mean to your mom. I'm disrespecting her. I'm disrespecting her because her behaviors are awful but i'm not trying to be mean to her she needs to change her behavior so that she has a quality life she's 58 freaking years old there's nothing wrong with this woman she could get a job and pay her bills instead of mooching off her 28 year old son and so she it's good for her she's gonna like herself better all the other brothers and sisters

are gonna like her better um everybody's gonna be a lot happier when mom gets her crap together am i missing something no no i think that's right i just yeah it's kind of what you said just trying to figure out the the best way to go about it without being mean. You're not being mean when you don't give a drunk a drink. It's not good for a drunk to have a bottle of Jack Daniels. It's not good for a heroin addict to be loaded up with heroin. It's not good for them. They don't like it when you tell them no, but it not good for them this is not good for your mom loving your mom well is helping her get a life that is not filled with chaos a life that's not

filled with uncertainty and a life that's not that's not sustainable and it doesn't have any dignity and so um now again i don't you're not being mean now she's going to tell you you're being mean that's so mean you have plenty of money what's wrong with you tyler i raised you you can give me a little that's what it sounds like yeah that's exactly what it's going to sound like coming back at you that's called a travel agent for guilt trips she's going to pitch one on you. I'd be more worried about upsetting my wife than I would be upsetting my mom. And I think that's what this is going to come down to.

I would be worried that I'm doing harm to my own mother who I love. There's that too. And when you support the misbehavior, you're doing harm to them. Enablers are not helpers. They're cowards who won't say no that's what they are don't be a coward love her well enough that you help her for real help her and if you want to put her through financial peace university you call our team will give it to you this is the ramsey show hey it's Ken.

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