The Ramsey Show - App - When You Try to Do 3 Things at Once, None of Them Work (Hour 1)

Episode Date: February 10, 2020

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Nick is with us in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Hi, Nick. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. What's up? My wife and I are in our mid-30s. We have about $30,000 in debt. We make about $90,000 a year. I'm in real estate school right now, also working my job. And my wife

for the last seven years has been doing CPA work, and she wants to go back to school to get her CPA, and we want to cash flow it. We have about $3,000 in savings. That was part of your program that we've been doing for the last few years. Can you give me any advice on that? Advice on what? On being able to cash flow that while paying off the debt that we have. Okay, you make $90,000 a year, and she's been doing CPA work for how long? Accounting work for how long?

About seven years. Okay. And I think her going back to school and getting her CPA is a wonderful goal, and I would do it next year after you're out of debt. Okay. We don't own a house or anything. We've made a thousand-mile move, so that's why we're renting a house right now. Good. We pay about $1,200 a month for rent.

Good. Most of our debt's student loans, and one car note is what we have. How much do you owe on the car? About $10,000. Okay. You make $90,000. Yeah. You're debt-free in one year. Okay. $30,000. Okay. You make $90,000. Yeah. You're debt-free in one year.

Okay. $30,000. $2,500 a month. Then you're free. You can breathe. Build your emergency fund and cash flow her school. But you're trying to do three things at once, and when you try to do three things at once, none of them work.

There is nothing on fire here except her emotions. She's been an accountant for seven years, so she's an accountant for eight years before she gets her CPA, instead of seven years. It's not a big deal. It's a good choice. It's not a good choice in the situation you all are in. You need to finally focus on this debt. You've been screwing around the edges of this and you haven't hammered it. How much debt have you paid off so far and in

what period of time? We've probably paid off about $10,000 in the last couple years. Yeah. See what I mean? Yeah. That's just completely wussified. Okay. Making $90,000, you paid off $5,000 a year for two years. That's sneezing. You follow me? Yeah, absolutely.

You listen to this show. You hear these people come on here and do their debt-free screams. You don't hear anybody say, I paid off $5,000 a year making $90,000. You don't ever hear that when they're doing a debt-free scream, do you? They paid off $30,000 a year making $90,000. So now is time. Now, you guys, you don't have to do Dave Ramsey's plan. You don't have to get out of debt.

You can live and be, you know, do your life. She can go back to school. You can keep the car debt, keep the student loan around the next 20 years. You can do all that. You'll just be normal. And I'm she can go back to school you can keep this the car debt keep the student around around next 20 years you can do all that you'll just be normal but and i'm gonna be mad at you you'll still be my friend you'll just be one of my broke friends and i got a lot of them so but if you want to do the stuff we're talking about it's time for you all to turn up the heat it's time for you all to get really mad about this situation and quit trying to do 73 things at once because you have you still eating out you're still going on vacation you're not doing a good budget you're just wandering around the field out here hoping you can find the fence you know

it's time to get laser, emotionally focused. And if you do that, you can clear this debt in one year. Then she goes to school. You'll knock that CPA out. And I agree with her goal. I think it's a great field of study, great tool to have in your belt. And it'll probably up her income a good bit to be able to do that. All of that will be great.

But it's just symptomatic of the way you all have been this so far so this is the day you decide what are you gonna do you're gonna keep doing it the way you've been doing it you're gonna keep getting what you've been getting or you're gonna do something different it's up to you you get to choose that's the beauty god gives you the dignity to choose you have the right to choose and i'll give you the dignity to choose. You have the right to choose. And I'll give you the same dignity. You have the right to choose. But you call me and ask me for advice, which means you're going to get my advice. That's how that works.

Rob is with us in Chicago. Hey, Rob, how are you? I'm doing better than I deserve, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure, my pleasure. How can I help? Well, I am beyond blessed i i haven't left college yet and i'm already on baby step five of your program um i'm uh considering

looking into real estate investing and i'm wondering if it's even appropriate at my age age hasn't anything to do with it it's just money i pay cash for my real estate no debt if you can do that and you want to fool with it yeah have at it so uh you're a baby step five you're in college you have kids i do not sir oh then you don't have a baby and i have paid our way through school i joined the army at 18 um taken my summers worked full time with them and through scholarships and Love it. So you're debt-free with your emergency fund in place. Do you own a home? We do not.

We rent currently. Okay, cool. Cool, all right. Well, I mean, you graduate, you get married, you buy a house, you get the house paid off, then you start saving up and you pay cash for your first rental is the normal course of events. But if you don't want to do that and you want to keep renting and you want to save up and buy rental properties, as long as you pay cash for it, I'm cool with that. What's your household? No, you don't want to do that and you want to keep renting and you want to save up and buy rental properties as long as you pay cash for it i'm cool with that what's your

household no it's you don't have a household income you're single what is your income we we certainly have uh anticipate so i've accepted a job um and she'll be a nurse in chicago so we're anticipating um above 110 so you're planning to get married yes sir okay that's the plan i just bought a ring today actually oh that's cool dude congratulations what a great day thank you so much that's a fun day that's cool i remember when i bought sharon's ring it was a little tiny thing but i remember when i bought it exactly right i kept it under 2k i kept it modest yeah well believe me mine was under 2k mine was under a quarter it was a 20.23 baby 0 modest. Yeah, well, believe me, mine was under 2K. Mine was under a quarter. It was.23, baby,.23 carat.

I'm not even sure that's a real thing. Anyway, so congratulations. Good for you. So you're getting ready to be married, making 110. You're coming out of the Army, coming out of school. What's your degree in? Yes, sir. It's in cybersecurity.

Oh, geez, you're going to make a bank. Your 110 is going to double shortly. Yeah. Save up and pay cash for your rentals, man. you're going to make a bank. Your 110 is going to double shortly. Yeah. Save up and pay cash for your rentals, man. You're going to be able to do this. You're going to be able to do everything you want to do. You are so goal-oriented. You're so focused.

You are on fire, man. Wow, what a great day. Thank you for your service to the country, too. I'm sure glad we helped pay for your education. Guys like you, I'm glad for. That's good stuff, man. Well done. Well done.

Future everyday millionaire. Right there, talking to him. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. If you do this one simple thing that we all do, you are literally at risk of being hacked and someone stealing what you've worked so hard for. Do you ever use public Wi-Fi? I'm talking about getting online at a coffee shop, a store, the airport, or even at home. Hackers can use a simple $100 device to mimic Wi-Fi, and with just a little bit of skills, they can take over your financial life.

This means you may think you're on your bank's site or app or securely making that purchase online, but hackers could see and steal that information. That's why I trust CyberGhost VPN. CyberGhost thinks about cybercrime so you don't have to. You can try it for free for seven days. Protect up to seven Internet devices and keep all of your internet connections secure. That's CyberGhost VPN. Download it today from your app store and be secure in seconds. Christine is with us in Salt Lake City. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show, Christine.

Thanks for taking my call. Sure, what's up? Okay, I have apparently a unique situation. My husband's employment was restructured about a year ago, and due to the nature of how they get paid, we knew that we'd go four to six months without seeing an income, which he has fluctuating income. So rather than just a $1,000 emergency fund, we have a three to four month so that we can

pay ourselves steadily every month, and then that refills when he gets paid. Unfortunately, that's gone most of the year, and we've been able to ride it out. But when the employer started realizing how bad it was, and some people were drawing from 401Ks and other things, they didn't offer, they gave everyone a $5,000 advance. You didn't have an option of turning it down. It was given, but the repayment is expected. We also have insurance premiums that the employer covered and has been carrying,

and those are being repaid as income comes back. My question is, do we put those premiums or those debts to the employer in their place within our snowball or do they take a priority kind of like the IRS would so that we don't offend employment? Offend? We don't want to do anything like if they fall into our snowball they're number six and number eight so they're down a little ways um and getting paid off yeah but do they do they not have a repayment schedule no they do not they loaned you money with no terms correct at this point there's no interest being charged on it. They've been carrying that because it's taken a lot longer to get payments coming back in

from clients. What does he do for a living? He's an attorney. How large a law firm is this? They're a pretty good size. I'm confused how an attorney goes months and months and months without making money. Because it's considered a merit-based income, so we're paid on commission, and some of the clients that they work with can take up to six months to pay their bills. So he's brand new? The firm is, yes. Well, it's now a year old, but my husband's been working as an attorney for nine years, going on 10.

Yeah. And so what does he normally make in a year? Last year was $100 before taxes. So if he's not going to get paid for six months to a year, why didn't he just start his own practice? He's not comfortable doing that at this point i'm not comfortable i'm not comfortable working without getting paid nor am i he is getting paid we've gotten paid for the last three months um sounds like this law firm is dramatically undercapitalized it feels that way from a spousal perspective no i think that's a math perspective yeah i think it from a spousal perspective. No, I think that's a math perspective.

Yeah. I think it's a spousal perspective. Yeah. So I'm not worried about when I'm going to repay these jokers. Okay. I've just put them in the debt snowball, and when you get to them, you get to them. Okay. But I am worried about his career.

Yeah. There's a lot of red flags and flares going off and bombs dropping around this story that are scary. Because, you know, if he was in a specific type of law with one specific client or something, and he's making $300,000 a year, but they only draw down on this client twice a year or something, and he's making $300,000 a year, but they only draw down on this client twice a year or something, I would just say let's go restructure the payment terms with the client. But it sounds like their business model is screwed. I'm concerned about that. Yeah.

I mean, we work with attorneys all the time. I mean, not only as their customer, but also, you know, coaching them on their personal finances. And I just don't know any that make no money for six months. It's just very, very weird. So I'm concerned about that. But as far as the answer to your question, where would I put the unsolicited advance that is interest-free, I would put it in the debt snowball where it belongs. And if they get offended about that, they're the ones that advanced it with no terms.

There's no term sheet on this. They didn't say, you have to pay this back in six months. They didn't say, do you want this? They just issued the check. And this is just strange. Strange, very strange. So yeah, I'm not worried about whether they're offended because i'm getting ready to leave them anyway if he if this doesn't turn around he that you know a couple couple more months of this crap and you guys really need to make a decision ray is on the line in nashville hi ray Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Well, I have a 501c3. I am personally debt-free,

and so is the business at this point. We help veterans with PTSD, and we have a 30-acre farm out in Gainesboro, Tennessee. Wonderful. And right now we're not bringing anybody in,

except we're bringing animals in right this moment. But the veterans will come out there, stay for three months, have different activities set up for them. They learn life skills, how to build, how to do several things. Right now we're trying to clear the land, though, and it's being pretty costly. That being said, we're trying to apply for grants, but the grant writing is so difficult we're going to have to hire a lawyer or somebody that does write grants. And nobody right now we're able to get pro bono. Um,

and unfortunately I'm, I'm, I'm retired military. I'm on a fixed income myself and, uh, all my money's been going, I have four kids and a wife and, and,

but all my money, spare money has been going into feeding the animals. It costs me about $1,100 in order to keep everything going with a farm on its own entity. And then plus I have my own house bills and everything else. So without taking out a loan, I'm trying to make this thing survive. And it's just been, you know, we're getting donations and everything like that. And it's been going fairly... Not enough. It's just not going as fast as what needs to be because I've got people knocking on the doors begging for help.

Yeah, you don't have enough coming in in donations. No, I had an $8,000 donation, and we had a $4,000 donation. And we have another restaurant that's trying to donate a vehicle for us to fix up and sell an auction. So here's the reality of non-profits and ministries that are non-profits. You've got a wonderful heart,

you've got a wonderful cause, but a non-profit that does not make a profit is closed. And so you cannot personally support this ministry until you have taken care of your family.

And you cannot go into debt to keep this thing running. You have to fix your model. And your model is you have to bring in more than you spend. Agree? Right now we're just selling t-shirts and simple items like that. That's fine.

I don't care where it comes from, but you have to face the reality that your good intentions and the wonderful cause that you're serving is not enough. Right. You have to bring in more than is not enough. You have to bring in more than is going out. This is going to end very poorly otherwise, and it's going to be

not only a financial problem, but a broken heart. Yours. And what about the money that we've already received? If anything does go awry and I'm not going to be able to afford doing all this, I have received... They made a donation to a nonprofit that failed. You're not liable for that.

That's not a debt. It was a donation. But you need to get your donation model working and your revenue generation off the T-shirts or whatever model working and the grant writing going because we have to have stuff happening on the income side of this equation for this ministry, for this nonprofit to prosper, to be able to serve the veterans that you want to serve, because otherwise the animals are going to eat it. It's going to be over. That's what you described. So we've got to get the income up of donors, grants, and whatever else. We'll see you next time. Based on New Testament principles, Christian Healthcare Ministries, or CHM, helps Christian families, churches, and ministries join together as the body of Christ to share their major healthcare costs. Christian Healthcare Ministries is the original health cost-sharing ministry, a Better Business Bureau-accredited organization CHM members share to pay each other's medical bills.

It's not insurance. It's Christians financially and spiritually supporting each other. It's what Christian Healthcare Ministries has done for over 35 years. And our members have shared over $2.5 billion in medical bills. To learn more, visit chministries.org. That's chministries.org. Christian Healthcare Ministries is a proud sponsor of Dave Ramsey Live Events. chministries.org. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions, Steve and Ray are with us. Hey, guys, how are you?

Hey, Dave, how you doing? We're great. Welcome, welcome. Where do you guys live? Petersburg, Tennessee, about an hour south of here. Cool. Well, welcome. Good to have you. Fun. How much debt have you paid off? We paid off? We paid off $152,040. Good for you.

And your range of income during that time? It was $98,000 down to $80,000 and then $112,000. Cool. What do you all do for a living? I work in the oil and gas industry and Rhea manages the farm and everything associated with that. Yep. Cool. What kind of farm you got, Rhea?

Just a little bit of everything. We've got dairy goats, dairy cow, retired horse, pigs, rabbits, chickens, dogs, cats, and my little kid. Lots of stuff to feed. Yes. Yeah. Very cool. Good for you guys. That's great.

What kind of debt was the $152,000? So we had a truck, a little bit on credit card, and an outdoor wood furnace to heat the house, and then $125,000 to pay off the farm. Oh, it's all paid for. Yeah, baby. I love it. I'm looking at weird people. That's right.

Your house is paid for. Well done, you guys. So what's the farm worth? With the extra land that we also cash flowed during that time frame, I'd say about $220,000. Way to go. Way to go, you guys. Own your corner of the world. That's the way it should be.

Very well done. So what caused this to happen 40 months ago? Well, we were engaged, and Steve walked in, and he said, he drives back and forth to work. It's a long drive. He said, I heard this guy on the radio named Dave Ramsey, and I think we should do this. And I had grown up in a household. My mom had taught financial peace. I had gotten the book when I graduated college.

I knew the plan. I just was not super intense about it. So when he came home and said, I think we should do this. I said, well, yeah, let's do it. And so we got on the plan together. And the biggest thing for me was with him having most of the income and me just working at the house, that partnership really helped us to connect and communicate about money. And for me to feel like I had a much stronger voice in those decisions that we were making. As it should be. Yeah. Well done.

So you grew up a financial peace baby. It's easy to buy in. Yeah, easy to buy in. Yeah. Very cool. And Steve, where do you work? In the oil and gas industry out in the Gulf of Mexico. So you're driving where?

To Louisiana. And I work for two weeks at work where I don't see land at all. Oh, my gosh. And then I come home for two weeks. Okay. Whoa. And you drive down to do that then? Yes, sir.

And she takes care of everything for two weeks by herself. Wow. I come home and mess it all up. Wow. Wow. We got the pioneer woman here. This is awesome. Very cool.

She should have been born a century ago. Good for you guys. That's fun. Well done. Well done. How does it feel to have everything paid for? It's amazing. Like the morning that the house normally, the payment comes out, I woke her up early.

I said, hey, check the bank. Check the bank. You know, just so we could look at the bank statement and not be, you know, a debit for the house payment to come out that month. And the biggest thing for me that I realized that I didn't know until we had the house paid off is now I feel like I can throw things away because we've been holding on to things. It's like, well, I might need this in six months or, you know, we might need to repurpose this or reuse this. And now I'm like, it can go, it can go it can leave wow look at that it cleaned up things it really uh it has freed us up in a lot of ways more than what i even thought yeah so you really

you don't realize you're bound until you're not bound exactly yeah well done well done what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is you did it house and everything i think um for us the main thing's having a common goal and for the common goal for us was to see, we could see the dream 10 to 15, 20 years down the road where we'd be. And so that was the driving motivator. And, you know, just not having to wake up and worry about ever owning anybody a dollar again. Yeah. Well done. And then having that, you know, the budget and then, you know, the joke that we had, especially the last year plus, was this whole no budget budget that we got on.

Yeah, if it wasn't farm, food, or fuel, it didn't get bought. Oh, okay. Yeah, it was pretty much any dollar, every dollar we had went towards the house. Once you could see the light, you just reached for it. Yeah, it was an overdrive. There you go. I love it. Game came on so there's a little secret about your baby steps not everybody knows and it also increases fertility so we have a baby step two slash three baby and now we're gonna have a

six seven baby there you go there you go you should that's awesome well done you guys very well done do you have people telling you you were crazy should. That's awesome. Well done, you guys. Very well done. Did you have people telling you you were crazy along the way? I had quite a few people at work. And then, you know, a couple months ago when I told them I paid off the house, I realized, you know, the joke's on them now. Yeah. How you like me now. And I, being on the farm, didn't really have a lot of communication with people. So most of them just thought I was doing okay.

But I definitely had my mom bringing my brother's hand-me-down clothes to me because my clothes had holes and she knew i wasn't gonna let her buy me clothes so i was getting my brother's hand-me-downs i love it so yeah i love it well done you guys congratulations congratulations so uh you're uh one of your kids is with you your child is with. Okay, and how old is he? He's two years and three months. Okay, is he going to join you? We're hoping.

He just showed up and then disappeared again. He's been practicing the scream with us, so I'm kind of bummed. Well, we hope you get him in there. Well, we've got a copy of Chris Hogan's book for you, Retire Inspired. That's the number one bestseller in that market. And, of course, that's the idea. Now, be outrageously generous and be millionaires, and we're going to lead you right into that. So really, really excited about that.

So congratulations, you guys. Thank you. Very, very well done. What was the hardest part for you guys? Putting up with the house. It is not the condition that I would like to live in, and we've been living in it for five plus years and I'm so excited to be able to actually redo things and make the house livable now okay and delaying farm projects yeah that was really tough yeah I'm bringing you know just delaying delaying delaying

to get there living like no one else so now you can live like no one else it is hard though yeah it is hard in a situation like that where you've got, you know, he's gone and you've got all these things that need to be fixed. That's tough. I mean, yeah, I could go in a, yeah, it's a long list. I can imagine. Well, just prioritize it and plow through it. You got no payments now. That's right.

We got it. It's on a list. Well done. And great income to do this with. Congratulations. Thank you. All right. Gavin, is he around or not?

No. Not going to make it. All right. No. It's all good. He's back up. No problem. Steve and Ray with us from Lewisburg, Tennessee area.

Love it. $152,000 paid off in 40 months, making $98,000 to $80,000 to $112,000. House and everything. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're dead free! I love it!

Love it, love it, love it. Wow. Way to go, you guys. Congratulations. Absolutely essential. Interesting that her parents went through Financial Peace University. What if you could help people like that with money? And a generation later, you hear about their daughter paying off her house.

That's pretty cool. If you're passionate about this stuff, we need your help as a Financial Peace University coordinator right now. It's our proven program that teaches people not only how to get control of their money, not only how to get out of debt, but to build wealth and to be outrageously generous. You don't need a ton of time. You don't need any financial training. We will show you what to do. Matter of fact, we have a dedicated advisor here at the company

that will walk with you through the entire experience to make sure you lead the group and, you know, you've got all the answers to all your questions and that you're taking care of. If you want to help us by being a Financial Peace University coordinator in your area, get started by texting the word LEADER to 33789. That's texting the word LEADER to 33789. Guys, there is no substitute for actually doing something. The number of people who discuss theory and don't act on it, it's crazy. But you get somebody like that last couple, what'd they do?

They said, we're going to do this. Okay, game on. Let's do it. And man, they both rolled up their sleeves. House and everything is paid for. Do something. Do something. Do something.

How cool is that? Yeah, it changes everything. Do something. You, talking to you, do something. It's your turn. Let's go. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Thanks for joining us, America. We're glad you are here. Daniel is in Denver.

Hi, Daniel. How are you? Good. How are you doing? Better than I deserve. What in Denver. Hi, Daniel. How are you? Good. How are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up? All right. Perfect. So I've been going through your STEP program, and I'm going to have my house paid off in about a year and a half. Wow. Look at you. Awesome. Thanks. So the thing I'm running into know, I work in a field where I've got

a lot of educated people making dumb financial decisions. That happens all the time. Yep. And when you're weird, people treat you like you're weird and that's fine. Um, what's hard for me is to sit back and kind of watch the people that, you know, my friends and, and, and, and coworkers in that regard, um, make, make the mistakes that I know are, are just those dumb mistakes so what what do you offer for someone like me who simply knows kind of what people should be doing um and so i

can encourage them in a way to kind of do do things better without ruining the friendship yeah about the the the best entry point is just to tell your story. Because if you start talking about their stuff, it's very difficult for it to not be condemning. And that includes me. I tell my story all the time. And then the second rule is that the reason for telling my story is, are you telling your story? So, you know, I used to do these dumb things. I did dumb stuff like this and this and never pointed them.

But you could mention that you used to do something dumb like they're doing, right? I used to do stupid stuff like this. I did stupid stuff like that. I had leased a car. I used to use my credit cards and I thought I was winning with that. I thought I was so dumb. I thought airline miles were making me rich. You know, or whatever it is. Just talk about stuff you did that was dumb.

You've quit doing it, and man, when I quit doing that, I not only got a sense of control, I actually, my finances are light years better in just a short period of time. And they may just kind of nod and go, okay. And if they do, you got no entry. Because if you turn from there and start saying, but you're stupid, it's never going to work. Okay. It doesn't work. So on a personal level is what you're talking about.

And I can get away with crap here on the radio because everybody understands this entertainment value. And, and I'm just, you called in, you asked for it, you know, so I, I'm going to be nice to you here and walk you through this,

but then I'm going to call you out here on the radio. If you call in doing stupid stuff, you you've listened, you know that, but you can't, I wouldn't act that way in person with an individual, even if I didn't know them. Um,

but if they come up to me and they say well you know i do such and such i always just go okay i mean i got a friend of mine he drove up to the house the other day in a brand new car he just leased and of course he's my friend he knows i think that's just stupid you know but so what am i gonna do go well you're an idiot you know which is what i was thinking, actually. But I didn't do that. I just kind of did the old bobblehead thing and let the head nod up and down. And I just went, hey, man, happy for you.

I'm glad you got your nice car. Because he knows, he knows, he knows. But, I mean, he didn't come up there for me to, he came up to show me his car. He didn't come up to ask my financial advice. He knew what my financial advice was. So I just, you know, congratulated him on the car. It was it was a nice car actually i'm glad he got him a good car but you know he just got screwed so um you know that's all you can do is just say this is what's happened to me i used to do this dumb thing i don't do this dumb thing or that dumb thing anymore

and now here's where i am and the best case scenario is is they look at you and they say wow i wish i could do that or how did you do that and once they once they once they interact with you on that then they're asking for your help then you can very gently and kindly go hey i can show you how if you want me to walk with you i would be honored to show you some of the things i'm doing and i think it would i think it'd work for you too but you've got to get them to ask about it otherwise you're just thumping people and it's hard to watch people you love and people in your family do stupid stuff and everybody's got stupid people in their family you know and you just have to watch them and you can't you can't make people do stuff you know you just can't and all you can do is put in front of them this situation and um

then they've got to decide if they're willing to take the actions to change that mike's with us in portland oregon hey mike how are you better than i deserve to have yourself Yourself? Just the same, sir. How can I help? My wife has a problem where she overspends every month. I talk to her. She says she's trying. She's sorry.

I forgive her. We say try again next month. And again, she overspends. What is she overspending on? I don't know. Buying stuff for the kids, stuff that they don't really need, buying stuff for her. Like what? New clothes, makeup, stuff for the bathroom, shelves and whatnot.

I mean, it's stuff that we need but we don't need right now, and we don't have the money for right now. So what's your household income? Together we make about $5,500 a month. What do you do for a living? I'm an electronics technician at a semiconductor facility. Okay. All right.

And how long have you guys been married? Almost two years. Okay. There's a couple things going on. One is she's overspending. Two is you're an unbelievable tightwad. Isn't that right? One is she's overspending. Two is you're an unbelievable tightwad. Isn't that right?

Isn't that right? No, I've been very forgiving of her. No, no, no, no. I didn't ask you to forgive her. I ask you, she doesn't need forgiving. She bought food for her kids. You're just like me. I mean, my wife is a tightwad like that i've become a tightwad and so i admire you for that mike but you you are a very detailed person who likes the

rules and follows the rules and she's not you're the nerd she's the free spirit at your house and i'm the free spirit at my house i mean my wife is the free spirit at my house i'm the nerd i'm the control guy i can't stand it when people break the rules you know what i'm talking about yep yeah and so what we've got to do is you need to lighten up a couple of these categories and give her a little bit more wiggle room and return, get a new promise from her that she's going to stand that. I think you've got these budget categories too tight. And I don't know what they are. You notice I hadn't even asked you.

But I've been doing this a long time. And I can smell a super nerd. And I'm one. So you and me, we're cut out of the same cloth, brother. It's good news because you're good at details. And you're good at keeping people in the lanes. But sometimes people like you and me are hard to live with. So I just want you to loosen up a little bit on the categories.

And I want her vote in the budget committee meeting. When you all sit down to do the budget, I want her to look at the numbers. And I want her vote to count more than it has been counting it's pretty much like you're that i think she she go ahead um she overspends the month we make 55 000 but we spend 57 i got that part okay i'm not saying i think there's some other stuff that you guys probably can can move around and i want the budget to be a zero-based budget and i want the two of you working on it together i want her vote to count and then when the here's what happens and this will help because the way your mind works the way my mind works is when we do that budget it's over that's it you just do that shut up do that and the way her mind works

is that's a general guideline and that doesn't work it doesn't work the budget falls apart when she does that she screws up the budget so what she's got to grasp at the time you all finish your budget committee meeting the kids are in bed you're sitting there looking at the details of the budget you've got to say okay baby girl the reason i get so upset is the way my mind works is this is a contract. And so we're going to pinky swear and spit shake right now, and we're going to sign our name in blood at the bottom of this, and this is a contract. Do not, I promise you, I will not spend anything that is not on this budget.

And if you spend anything that is not on this budget, that's like you lying lying to me we can't do that anymore unless we sit down and talk about it because my head's gonna explode i can't deal with it and so that's what's going on but then as a part of that you've got to loosen up a couple of these categories and let her have some room to run this household because you are a super nerd, no doubt about it, dude. And it's a good thing. I'm not making fun of you. I'm one of you. But you've got to understand how that other person is ticking in order to get agreement in this household.

This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Dave Ramsey Show. If you would like to do your debt-free scream live on the show, make sure you visit DaveRamsey.com slash show and register. We would love for you to come to Nashville and tell Dave your story.